Paige Specter || Twenty-Six || Debt Collector || Magical
tw anxiety
Paige feels like she’s spent her whole feeling afraid. And she knows she would've never come out of her shell if it wasn’t for her brother.
Although at the same time, he’s a huge source of her stress. Ever since they were kids, he’d tell her that they should use their magic to pull pranks. And Paide always went along with it because she was more afraid of hurting her brother’s feelings than what the consequences of her actions might be.
Parker was trouble from the beginning, and Paige often found herself either caught up in it or taking half of the blame. They were twins, they had to have each others backs, right?
Her magic scares her, and it scares her even more that she uses it to make people look bad or to cause drama. Sometimes she wished she never had magic, but then again, she knows if she didn’t she and Parker might not be as close. And even though he’s the reason their in this mess with hades, she wouldn’t want to be too distant from him.
Paige has diagnosed anxiety and panic disorder, and depression that she takes meds for. She hates how anxious she gets. Especially if she knows she has some important meeting for Hades coming up. She doesn’t want to fuck things up by having a panic attack while wearing someone else’s face.
Paige loves fantastical magic--fictional magic. She loves stories and myths and things like Tolkien and Dungeons and Dragons. Real magic feels so much more stressful and there are less fun quests to go on. People are just harsh and scary in the real world and she would rather just have a book of her spell cards and a set of dice and deal with magic that way.
There have been times that she’s been so stressed about embarrassing herself going to the comic shop for one shot d&d nights that she’s actually used her powers to look like some random person to play the game. Usually that’s the only time she has no stress when using her powers. It just makes the roleplaying of the game feel more genuine, like she’s actually escaping into her character. It’s exhausting, but it’s the only time her magic feels good to her.
Growing up, Paige was really close to her grandparents. She loved hearing their stories and talking to them about the magic war, even though sometimes that just gave her more anxiety. She loved watching old movies and listening to old music with them.
Paige is terrified of upsetting Hades. She hates getting yelled at and she absolutely hates getting yelled at by him.
She’s afraid to drink and do drugs, but there are times when her depression acts up that she thinks about trying it. She’s pretty sure if she fell into a dark place, she might make some bad decisions, and that really scares her.
Paige is extremely shy when she’s not disguised as someone else.
She’s pretty sure she’s pansexual, but she’s only ever had one boyfriend when she was like fourteen for a week, so she’s not sure. Dating is scary and being intimate with someone is intimidating.
She wonders if dating would be easier if she pretended to be someone else. But no, she knows she couldn’t keep that lie up forever. It would be too stressful anyway.
Paige would love to get a cat and register it as an emotional support animal, but she’s not sure if she can do that.
Paige wonders why her powers seem to be stronger than her brother’s. She wonders if its because he is so reckless sometimes? She wishes it was the other way around, though. He could have all the powers and she would barely care. She’d only care if it meant he’d want to pull less pranks and hang out with her less.
Sometimes people see her as more rude and standoffish rather than shy and anxious. Which… usually just makes her feel more anxious.
Therapy once a week, sometimes twice if she’s having a rough time.