Now that I'm a little more level-headed: I think a break from Peter on Tumblr is necessary. I just don't feel joy on this blog right now, as happy as my muse makes me. I'm stressed all the time. I'm lonely. I'm writing him on Discord / on my own, in drabbles, right now and he's thriving, so I know for a fact it isn't muse.
This isn't me saying I'm abandoning Peter on Tumblr. This is just me saying that, for now, this space doesn't feel safe for me and I want to cultivate a different one; take a break. I've tried so hard to make this work; I've cleaned up, I've blocked blogs, I've kept to myself, I've posted starter calls and plotting calls and revised my boundaries again and again and again. Something's just not clicking, and honestly, maybe it's me. Maybe it's that I need space from all the unfortunate stuff that's happened during my time writing this absolute gem of a character. Maybe I need to meet new people and not stretch myself so unbelievably thin. Be nicer to myself and just generally not let people take my time, kindness, enthusiasm and creations for granted.
I love Peter so much. He's not going anywhere whatsoever, he's my pride and joy and I won't let anyone take him from me. Not even myself. I think that's why a break is in order: because Tumblr ( the site; the culture; the current state of the RPC; my own history with people here, not my mutuals / dashboard ) is killing him right now and I'm just not going to allow that.
I'm going to make a low activity canon multimuse ( you can expect characters from fandoms I have verses in on this blog honestly, as well as a few surprises ). It's going to be low-stakes and, honestly, probably low effort too, save for the writing. I'm gonna be going by a different name on it; not to hide who I am, but to preserve my peace. To feel safe. To be left alone by those I don't want bothering me, and to start fresh in a, hopefully, mostly new space.
I want the days of feeling happy on this website back. I want everything to feel normal again. I want to make friends and have fun again. I desperately miss how my dash used to feel when I was in the OC / animated space.
You can go ahead and like this post if you'd like me to follow you when I get it up and running. Please don't take it personally if I don't. It's most definitely not you, probably just me not understanding how our muses could mesh, or you interact with people I'm trying to avoid at all costs right now ( which is absolutely okay; the burden of responsibility is on me when it comes to cultivating my space online ).
Remember that I care about all of you who've made an effort to reach out to me / write with me, and that Peter will still be here when I get my joy back. This isn't a goodbye or a permanent hiatus, more of a see you soon. I'll be back. This beautiful bastard will be back, and we'll all have fun together again.
