The Mess That You Wanted

Bianca. 27. NH. Swiftie since '06. Never met Tay. Swift Chick. 

[paintedmegolden22]

LOVER

So...I took a quick lil break following the 365 days. I have been going through a lot and needed to just be in my own head for a minute. I have yet to do a post about ‘Lover’ the song yet!!! Okay, so like I said I have a lot going on. I was planning on staying up until the midnight release but I fell asleep. I woke up and it had vanished from my mind. I know I KNOW. A few hours later it hit me like a ton of bricks and I was manic. Needless to say I was shaking when I hit play. Instantly my jaw dropped. I was NOT expecting that sound. I had to look at my phone to make sure it was playing the right song. I guess I kind of mentally pictured the song as a sister to ‘ME!’....super poppy and synthy. She shook me. The first words were spoken and the reverb and lightness of her voice had me out of my own body. She really did THAT. She managed to give us some country twang, but still hit it with the synth pop sound. She keeps topping herself. She makes it seem like shes maxed out her range and then she hits us with a completely new sound. This song is THE ultimate first dance song at a wedding. The way she was able to capture the sound of a wedding band is amazing. Then the lyrics. She snapped. They are so genuine and precious. The specific memories and story she tells makes me crave that same love. Her examples of their love isn’t the traditional love ballad examples. Hers are leaving the Christmas lights up until January because it is their home and they can make that call. It’s having them save their dirty jokes for you. I won’t even touch on the vows part. She is sending the entire fandom into the loony bin and she knows it. What is this music video going to reveal? I am not ready. I have a date this week with a new fella and honestly I just want to play this song for him and be like “THIS COULD BE US”. That will totally work right? It won’t scare him off!? HAHAHA. 

[theswiftchicks]

We couldn’t Calm Down about the Lover era so WE! decided to get a little loud and make you this video @taylorswift. All of the Gorgeous people featured in this video are tag. We Wish You Would Stay Stay Stay and watch. We know All Too Well that there are a lot of videos out there but we hope to be one of The Lucky One(s) that you see. It would be our Wildest Dreams to meet you.

@taylorswift @taylornation @brokenhearttsinadrawer @midnightsandbottles @kiktheswiftchick @growinguptswizzle @chelseatheuniecorn @letters2tswift @heyswiftierae @emchanted13 @wildestdreamers89 @casswiftie @bestdressfearless89 @cparker-here4tswift

[paintedmegolden22]

SINCE I’VE FINISHED MY 365 REASONS I LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT PROJECT, I WILL NOW BE REBLOGGING THINGS TO MY PAGE! STARTING WITH THIS PROJECT DONE BY A GROUP IM A PART OF CALLED THE SWIFT CHICKS. GO CHECK THAT PAGE OUT AND SUPPORT!  @theswiftchicks​   @taylorswift​ @taylornation​

[paintedmegolden22]

365/365 Reasons I Love Taylor Swift

365 Days of appreciation for my girl since ‘06 @taylorswift @taylornation

#365

Well, the day has arrived. Every single day for an entire year I have written a reason I love Taylor Swift. Over time the posts evolved into diary entries, but they all revolved around my love and admiration for Taylor. I am truly proud of myself for doing this. Looking back I can recall certain days that were really tough, and I STILL managed to get to my iPad and write out a post before midnight. I felt like I owed myself that. “They” say writing is a great form of release...of self-care/therapy. I admire that Taylor has filled dozens of diaries with her own stories. I have many started diaries/journals, but I never stuck with it. This was really something I am proud of. To some it may seem silly, but the idea behind this was to get out a lot of feelings. Over these last 365 days I have grown and evolved so much. I sit here tonight feeling like I have reached a new level. You know how you think back at yourself at a younger age and you can’t believe that you were that way? And then you think about your future and how you know you’ll probably mature and change again and look back at yourself right now and say the same thing. Well I feel like I have just hit a new chapter. I feel like I’ve been dealt so many things at once, and I am forced to handle it right now. I could curl up and give up, or I could try and deal with everything in a mature and healthy way. I then see all of the chatter about “drunk Taylor” and how people are saying they are finally seeing her let loose and be care free. I think this era is a big release for her. I think she’s let go of the past, and is ready to embrace the bright future. I feel like we both are on a new chapter. I think about all she had to go through, and how it was in front of the world. I think about how she didn’t let it define her...consume her. She let herself grieve and be bummed. She then dusted herself off and declared that she was better than that. She made her own headline. I admire that so much. I too can get through it. I can be in charge of my outcome...of my journey. I already have gushed about how I know this album is going to be a life changer for me. I feel like it is being released at JUST the perfect time for me. I feel like this is going to be THAT album that is my lifeline...that helps me get through this difficult time. I already have made it known how much ‘The Archer’ means to me...so I can’t even imagine how the full album will compare. I have been on Taylor’s side for 13 years now, and I am so grateful for that. Even though I’ve never met her, or talked with her, I feel like she is listening to me...that she hears me. When she thanks the fans I genuinely FEEL it. She’s been my companion and friend when it was a scary time. She’s been someone that I can be proud of, and someone that I can smile thinking about. I don’t know what my life would be like if Taylor wasn’t a part of it. I’m glad I don’t have to find out. 

I don’t know what I will do with this account now that my 365 days are complete. I will definitely keep it active, and about Taylor. I hope that one day when she needs it most she will stumble on my blog, or one of my posts and smile. For now, I am happy that I have 365 posts to reflect on. I’m still going to be on here gushing about the VMA performance, the Central Park show, and of course the album. So, in conclusion....THANK YOU, TAYLOR for existing in my world. Thank you for being you. Thank you for not being ashamed to grow and learn and make mistakes. Thank you for being kind hearted even when it hurts you. Thank you for putting on the BEST concerts I have ever been to. Thank you for making me feel seen in a sold out stadium. Thank you for being the only one of you...and thank you for reminding me that I’m the only one of me. I love you. 

-Your pal, Bianca

[paintedmegolden22]

364/365 Reasons I Love Taylor Swift

365 Days of appreciation for my girl since ‘06 @taylorswift @taylornation

#364

Wow. I can’t believe we’ve almost made it to 365 days! Today’s post is just a mashup of the past 24 hours because we got lots of goodies. So, “drunk Taylor” got trending last night because Taylor let loose at a party she threw to celebrate all involved in the ‘ME!’ And ‘YNTCD’ videos. Videos surfaced of her singing along to ‘YNTCD’ and she was honestly me at every wedding when any good song comes on. It was great and I’m happy to see her openly enjoying herself like that and not worrying about the video being seen. She even posted on her socials about how “drunk Taylor” was trending. THEN tonight I begrudgingly tuned into the Teen Choice Awards to see her accept the Icon Award. .SHE LOOKED STUNNING IN THAT VERSACE SUIT. I was jaw dropped. The way she was able to have them incorporate the color scheme of this era was phenomenal. It was a lewk...and I especially loved how her voice sounded a little raspy from the festivities the night before. She thanked us for being us, and then dropped that the song ‘Lover’ will be out on Friday. So much goodness in just 24 hours. What a queen. I am going to leave this post at that, because tomorrow will be the big one! 

[paintedmegolden22]

363/365 Reasons I Love Taylor Swift

365 Days of appreciation for my girl since ‘06 @taylorswift @taylornation

#363

Wowee. Today’s post is late because I just got back from a wedding. I’m keeping this post simple by just saying how great of a wedding jam ‘Shake it Off’ really is. Like, EVERYBODY sings and dances like crazy. Everybody knows every word...even the people you wouldn’t expect. The bride and I share a love for Taylor, but the whole room was spinning when it came on. The best part was when it came to the “My ex man..” part and the whole dance floor went into acting mode. We were all sooo dramatic with our delivery of those lines and it was awesome. So, thanks Taylor for creating such a great wedding bop. Although, at MY wedding one day I will probably play her entire discography so like.... :)

[paintedmegolden22]

362/365 Reasons I Love Taylor Swift

365 Days of appreciation for my girl since ‘06 @taylorswift​ @taylornation​

#362

Ok. So, I was scrolling through Twitter minding my own business when I see the headline that this “artist” tweeted about Taylor. I refuse to use their name in this post because they quite frankly disgust me and I don’t want any of their name to grace my page. Look it up if you don’t know. Anywho, they tweeted that Taylor is only claiming to be a Democrat because she wants to get movie rolls, and then they used a graphic, sexist, disgraceful description of what shes doing to get these rolls. I was shocked. I had never paid this “artist” much attention in the past, so I guess when they essentially came out of the blue to say this comment I was like “where did THAT come from?” However, doing some further research I soon realized that this person has long been a supporter of the current President. It all made sense. The leader that has built their campaign and reputation on being rude, demoralizing, mean, corrupt, racist, sexist, and just plan stupid encourages their supporters to be the same way. I would assume this tweet was inspired by the amazing Vogue article. They clearly didn’t enjoy seeing that Taylor openly stated she did not support the election outcome...so instead of keeping their opinions to themselves, or having a healthy, kind conversation they decided to go low. Just like the POTUS himself. It’s those kinds of shocking, disgusting comments that have become the norm. This is sad. I don’t want to raise children in a world where this is encouraged by the leader of our country. This is scary. I thought it was amazing how Taylor addressed her reaction to the last presidential election. She was slammed for not speaking up and endorsing a candidate. She essentially was like listen, everybody at that point was calling me a calculated, manipulative, lying snake. This is also what they were calling the other candidate too. If I were to endorse her, it wouldn’t have helped, it would have hindered. She is so right. But you know what? She never used her platform to cruelly call out and belittle anybody either. She’s handled this dive into speaking up about her political views like a pro.

[paintedmegolden22]

361/365 Reasons I Love Taylor Swift

365 Days of appreciation for my girl since ‘06 @taylorswift @taylornation

#361

Meow. What a drop we got today. There were rumors that she was going to be on the cover of a magazine soon, probably Vogue, and boy did she deliver. She did a beautiful interview for Vogue, and had some stunning photographs. The interviewer did a great job of not being a super fan, but also not being someone that made an assumption before getting to know the real Taylor.  It was refreshing to have someone that knew the rumors and accusations, but realized quickly what kind of a person Taylor is and what her values are. One of my favorite parts was when they realized how much her body language changed when she talked about her music, and how they could tell that was her language...that was her passion. Another fav part was when the interviewer admitted that they had tried to dive into the realm of Easter Eggs and theories, but realized quickly they were in over their head. I really appreciated the tone that was used to discuss the more political and serious topics. I gave an audible  “HELL YEAH!” When they talked about how Taylor garnered some criticism for her timing of the release of ‘YNTCD” because some people accused her of using Prime Month to get money off of the song. The interviewer was like...guys...she has been openly supporting the LGBTQ+ community for awhile now...why hasn’t anybody noticed? I think the most exciting and honestly surprising part of the piece was when we casually got not one but TWO confirmed track names and some lyrics. We knew there was going to be a song called ‘Lover’, but with the lyric we were given it has caused the entire fandom to wonder if Taylor is engaged, or even married already!?!? Also, we got the new name of the track ‘The Man’ and I am pacing with excitement for that one. Taylor hyped it up saying that this is probably her favorite album, and that she has some really great bridges and hooks and lyrics and MY OH MY IS IT AUG 23rd YET!?!?!? I can’t wait, y’all.  

[paintedmegolden22]

360/365 Reasons I Love Taylor Swift

365 Days of appreciation for my girl since ‘06 @taylorswift @taylornation

#360

I had a moment today in the car with my Mom. We were driving to lunch and I was discussing how I’ve had such an emotional reaction to ‘The Archer’ and this era in general...and how I’ve been considering getting a bow and arrow tattoo down the road. I was talking about the song’s meaning, and what it means to me. I played it, and STILL got teary eyed! That song really gets me. She was in love. She gushed over how her sound was so different. I then went into VIVID detail about the infamous track 5, and the way Taylor is so great at making each era a completely different vibe and sound. She then asked if there were any other songs from “Lover” out and so I played the other two. She was boppin and loving it all. She’s known how much I’ve loved Taylor these past 13 years. When burning mixtapes for people was still a thing I used to make her mix CDS with my favorite songs. They always included a few Taylor songs of course. That was her way of getting her dose of Taylor. I then told her how people were saying that this era will have some serious 1989 vibes, and when I listed off some of the 1989 songs she would know she was very excited. This leads me to the subject of today’s post. I love how Taylor is an artist that parents and their children can bond over. Shes an artist that can be appreciated by all generations. Like, I’m 27 and can still have a fan girl moment over a song that my Mother and I both love. That is cool. 

[paintedmegolden22]

359/365 Reasons I Love Taylor Swift

365 Days of appreciation for my girl since ‘06 @taylorswift @taylornation

#359

I need this album to be here now. I mentioned yesterday how I’ve just been in this funk, and super stressed. I was driving today down this scenic back road and ‘The Archer’ came on and I lost it at the “They see right through me...I see right through me” part. I was sobbing and screaming the words between tears. It was a MOMENT. It is more than the lyrics, it is the execution. She really killed it with the diction and the emphasis on each word. I have been shielding myself from any “spoilers” from the SS people, but I did see a few times how people said it was giving a lot of 1989 vibes so I might just lose it. This is the album I need at this point in my life...I can feel it. I feel like I already have so much to thank Taylor for regarding the lyrical content of this album and it hasn’t even come out yet. I am already planning outfits for tour, and brainstorming who the openers might be, what the stage setup will be....I am ready for this era to consume me. 

[paintedmegolden22]

358/365 Reasons I Love Taylor Swift

365 Days of appreciation for my girl since ‘06 @taylorswift @taylornation

#358

I am having a night. A year really. I have had so much of my life shaken up over the past few months. It has put me in this state where I feel like I’m not myself. I’m constantly flooded with anxiety about those around me that are struggling with their health. When I think about an event in the future that I can have fun at and have my own time to myself, I am instantly swarmed with the thoughts about how I can’t just up and leave because so many depend on my help and aid. I don’t want to go into so much detail since it is personal, but I am so stressed. Taylor reposted an insta story that Camila posted and it was lyrics from ‘State of Grace.” Camila said she was crying in the tub because of those lyrics. I feel ya. Honestly, SO MANY of Taylor’s songs do that to me. I really feel like “Lover” is going to be the album that really resonates the most with me and my current life. I don’t know why, but I just feel it. We all know how much I am goo goo eyed over ‘The Archer.’ If there’s anything even half that good I will be set. Idk I just got trapped in watching videos of people who got rep room, and their stories and it made me so emotional because I could really use a Taylor hug these days. 

[paintedmegolden22]

357/365 Reasons I Love Taylor Swift

365 Days of appreciation for my girl since ‘06 @taylorswift @taylornation

#357

Okay. We need to have a talk. Taylor made the decision several years ago to do something really special. She felt a bond with us, and wanted to do something that no other artist was doing with their fans. She not only chose to invite us to listen to her new albums before they were released, but she she took it a step further by inviting us into her own homes. That is a huge deal. That is a lot of trust. There’s always a case of people leaking too much. That is super sad, and not cool. Most of the lucky chosen ones keep their lips sealed. I feel like not much is ever leaked. Maybe I just didn’t seek out spoilers, so I never found any...but I feel like overall it’s gone well. This time though, I don’t know what is happening. I’ve still been trying to avoid anything track related...but I’ve been hearing that Perez Hilton is alleging that he has info from someone that was an a secret sessioner. He has supposedly leaked some album track titles and meanings...and I just can’t. I also heard some fans said his info was false. Without actually looking at the “spoilers” I can’t really figure out what is right. Either way, what a joke. I’m not here to bash him, but really? I thought he was over this crap. They are literally called the SECRET sessions. Why would you admit to having leaked info from that? Whatever. I’m just irritated thinking about any SS person leaking this. It is such a huge deal and privilege to get selected, and to ruin that is just sad. I just hope this doesn’t deter Taylor from doing SS in the future. 

[paintedmegolden22]

356/365 Reasons I Love Taylor Swift

365 Days of appreciation for my girl since ‘06 @taylorswift @taylornation

#356

Uhm. The heart shaped Rice Krispies treats tho? Did she have to do us like that? Well, not US, but like the SS folks. You know what I mean. Omg. I just love this girl. She popped out homemade treats and included some festive treats to go along with the album scheme. Too flipping great. Rice Krispies treats are one of my go-to treats to bring to a holiday party...not to mention I have been known to decorate them depending on the theme/holiday. I’ve done nests, with chocolate eggs in the middle, I’ve made a giant bunny, I’ve made green Christmas trees...I can’t be tamed when it comes to my Krispies. I am glad Taylor and I can relate on this front. Like, I would be v content with just baking festive treats with her on the regular. Call me, Taylor.

[paintedmegolden22]

355/365 Reasons I Love Taylor Swift

365 Days of appreciation for my girl since ‘06 @taylorswift @taylornation

#355

Well. It’s happening. The first Lover Secret Session was in London yesterday. Ya girl is shook. I had a lot of feelings. I got tagged in a post of a pic someone took of the SS pin, and instantly my heart dropped. I knew it hadn’t been my lucky day. I hadn’t gotten spotted out of this HUGE crowd. I do honestly feel so happy for those chosen. I can still be bitter though :) Jealousy isn’t cute...this I know. I am more so bummed because I really do feel like my life journey will lead me to meet Taylor one day. I have been mentally trying to manifest it since 2006. I still have hope! I will keep this on my heart until it happens. I have been avoiding reading any posts about the details of the album. I don’t need to be told that it’ll blow my mind because I ALREADY KNOW. I just hope that each person that gets the luck invite will really make sure to soak it up. Remember the little details. Remember how you were nervous, how you felt when she first appeared, how cool it was meeting others that are just as obsessed with her as you are. This is a really cool, unique moment. No other artists on her level do this, and that is so so surreal and special. Congrats all you Sessioners!

[paintedmegolden22]

354/365 Reasons I Love Taylor Swift

365 Days of appreciation for my girl since ‘06 @taylorswift @taylornation

#354

‘Never Grow Up’ is hitting me hard right now. I struggle with the ups and downs that come with adulthood just like everybody else. I find myself saying that “someone has it worse”, but that doesn’t invalidate my own feelings. It should put them into perspective, but I do still allow myself to feel bad sometimes. I’ve been going through so many changes over the past few months. It’s like my life was just shaken up and some pieces were flung far away and I’m just trying to put them back together. I think “why is this all happening at once?” Why did it seem like it was like falling dominoes? Then I try and tell myself, “Hey, maybe it’s a good thing because now it can only go up from here.” The biggest thought today was centered around the fact that two of the beings I’m closest to are going through a lot of medical issues at the moment. It stresses me out because I feel the need to be around all the time, and take care of them. I have been finding moments where I give myself time to go out by myself and have me time, but then I start feeling guilty and I know once I go home I’m back to reality again. I then think about how nice it would be to just be living away, on my own, with no worries of others...granted I will still care about them, but it would be nice to not have to worry about them 24/7. I then thought about ‘Never Grow Up’ and how it is so important to cherish those moments as a child, or a young person before things get difficult. I work with elementary children and often just want to yell at them to love this time in their lives, because they are very lucky! It’s so refreshing too because the ages I work with haven’t developed the self-conscious attitudes yet. They aren’t concerned with what others will think of their outfits, or if their hair looks like a wasp nest. They also don’t have to worry about money, or the well being of others generally. It’s a moment I’d love to embrace for awhile. Just as a break. I am so thankful and appreciative of so much that comes with being an adult, but it is hard too. When I have children I will encourage them to hold on tightly to all of those memories.....because they will hold onto you :) 

[paintedmegolden22]

353/365 Reasons I Love Taylor Swift

365 Days of appreciation for my girl since ‘06 @taylorswift @taylornation

#353

Y’all. Should I go to Central Park for Taylor’s little concert on the 22nd?! I’m so torn. Of course I WANT to go. I’d love it. The problem is like...money...I really shouldn’t be spending the money to get there, but also I don’t know if I can find someone to go with this last minute. I feel like this is a moment though. She is performing IN CENTRAL PARK. Other acts that did that shut the place down, and I can’t imagine the chaos Taylor will cause. How early will dedicated fans start to line up? How ridiculous will it be trying to leave? But omg the iconic level of this....I am so torn! If I lived in NYC, I 1000000% would go. I am just worried I will be spent. Something I’ll have to think about. Worse case I can just enjoy it on GMA from the comfort of my living room. Either way I will be watching in real time and losing my mind. What a fun way to kick off her album release. This is the first summer release and I am so excited for it all. Mixing it up a bit. I think she has something special in store for this tour as well. 

[paintedmegolden22]

352/365 Reasons I Love Taylor Swift

365 Days of appreciation for my girl since ‘06 @taylorswift @taylornation

#352

We love a rhyming queen. These days I feel like it’s very common for there to be  cheesy rhymes in pop music lyrics. Anything to make it sound good and flow...but if you actually break it apart it is sometimes very interesting the words classified as “rhyming.” I’ve always loved Taylor’s use of clever rhyming word play. She knows when to keep it easy and simple, and when to really pull out the big guns. I love how now shes expanding, and really stretching her sound. She isn’t always following up a line with another word that rhymes, which is neat because it works. I got to thinking about this because I was listening to ‘Hey Stephen’ and thought how even that song isn’t too cheesy. She wrote that awhile ago, and she still killed it. Stephen and deceiving?! That isn’t something a lot of teens would write. I just really admire her songwriting process. She’s mastered the formula. She is able to put on the “single” cap, when she needs to bang out a really catchy, fun single. Getting words that will stick in your head. Then shes also mastered those deep cuts that really slice right through you. Those lyrics that take a moment to sink it because they are that good. 

[paintedmegolden22]

351/365 Reasons I Love Taylor Swift

365 Days of appreciation for my girl since ‘06 @taylorswift @taylornation

#351

Okay. So I apologize. This is going to be like my 4th post about ‘The Archer’.....but it is necessary. Let me start off by saying that today’s post is about how I believe this song was released for us fans. That is the appreciation part of today’s post. I believe that Taylor released this song because it was the infamous “track 5″ and that she wanted us to have this song early. Now, my frustration is the articles and people saying it is “boring” or not exciting enough. Let me say this louder for the people in the back: THIS SONG IS NOT A SINGLE. SHE DID NOT RELEASE THIS AS A SINGLE. IT IS NOT A SINGLE. She knows this song isn’t what a “true” single is. I can’t stand seeing these posts about how it isn’t fitting all the molds of what a catchy single is. This song is for us. We know how to break it apart and dissect each lyric. One article was titled “Is Taylor Swift Broken?” OMG. STAHP. We know how to interpret this song. We know that it is a track 5 song. I am so pleased that I am in the majority of the fandom that is obsessed with this song. I’ve mentioned how I am addicted to watching reaction videos on YT. This girl Ajay is one of my favorites. She has great reactions. I was nervous when she listened to ‘The Archer’ because I cherish this song, and am very protective over it. Well, she cried. She said this was the first Taylor song to make her cry, and shes reacted to just about all of Taylor’s discography. I believe she chose to release this song for us, and I love that.