My second name is Angelie and I prefer scribbles over long coherent posts. Maybe cos I really don't know how to do the latter. s:
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You think that Ford is going to let you build the car that you want, the way you want it? The Ford motor company, those guys? Have you ever been to Detroit? They have floors and floors of lawyers and millions of marketing guys, and they’re all gonna want to meet you and get their photos taken with the great Carroll Shelby and they’re all gonna kiss your ass. And then they’re all gonna go back to their lovely offices and they will work on new ways to screw you. Why? Because they can’t help it. Because they just want to please their boss, who wants to please his boss and they hate themselves for it. But deep down, who they hate even more are guys like you, because you’re not like them, because you don’t think like them, because you’re different. - Ken Miles
I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost The room is on fire, invisible smoke And all of my heroes die all alone Help me hold on to you I've been the archer, I've been the prey Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling But who could stay? (I see right through me, I see right through me) This song kills me. 3
So good. It really is in the face of tragedy that we see the best and worst in people. What an exploration of the nature of states, science, and humanity.
A psychologist talks about the emotional toll of tough conversations, selflessness vs.
"What is this wild thing called human connection and the way people come in and out of our lives and how we continue to carry people with us, never really necessarily knowing the end of the story? It’s kind of like this dream thing. There will be times when I have a dream and people from the past come back and I wake up thinking about them and how they’re doing and I might have a moment of wanting to look them up the Internet but no. I guess, it’s one of those moments when I just visit them in my a heart a little bit and send them some love and kindness and wishes that everything is well. But we never necessarily know the end of the story." <3
Of course it’snot easy to change the world! Where did you get the idea? You can try it. There are people around me who are brilliant. This is not brilliant. It’s just a lot of hubris. ...The great ideas are a dime a dozen, I’m sorry to say. It’s how you implement it. And it takes so much.
-Dr. Phyllis Gardner (Standford professor), The Drop Out
One of my closest friends, R moved to Montreal this week, my papa left again for Bkk and my stomach has been hurting from the anxiety. Again, no matter how much you know something is about to happen, nothing really prepares you for the moment it finally happens. Leaving, whether it is you or other people doing it, sucks.
One of my favorite theories/ books from social psych class would be Robert Sternberg's Love is a Story. In this theory, he explains that the large numbers of unique and different love stories convey different ways of how love is understood. He believes, over time, this exposure helps a person determine what love is or what it should be to them.
I think mine has been the nice girl + weird guy story. I just keep falling for sociopaths.
Taylor Swift reflects on all the things she's learned leading up to her 30th birthday.
Banish the drama. You only have so much room in your life and so much energy to give to those in it. Be discerning. If someone in your life is hurting you, draining you, or causing you pain in a way that feels unresolvable, blocking their number isn’t cruel. It’s just a simple setting on your phone that will eliminate drama if you so choose to use it.
Apologizing when you have hurt someone who really matters to you takes nothing away from you. Even if it was unintentional, it’s so easy to just apologize and move on. Try not to say “I’m sorry, but...” and make excuses for yourself. Learn how to make a sincere apology, and you can avoid breaking down the trust in your friendships and relationships.
Before you jump in headfirst, maybe, I don’t know...get to know someone! All that glitters isn’t gold, and first impressions actually aren’t everything. It’s impressive when someone can charm people instantly and own the room, but what I know now to be more valuable about a person is not their charming routine upon meeting them (I call it a “solid first 15”), but the layers of a person you discover in time. Are they honest, self-aware, and slyly funny at the moments you least expect it? Do they show up for you when you need them? Do they still love you after they’ve seen you broken? Or after they’ve walked in on you having a full conversation with your cats as if they’re people? These are things a first impression could never convey.
Playing mind games is for the chase. In a real relationship or friendship, you’re shooting yourself in the foot if you don’t tell the other person how you feel, and what could be done to fix it. No one is a mind reader. If someone really loves you, they want you to verbalize how you feel. This is real life, not chess.
Learning the difference between lifelong friendships and situationships. Something about “we’re in our young twenties!” hurls people together into groups that can feel like your chosen family. And maybe they will be for the rest of your life. Or maybe they’ll just be your comrades for an important phase, but not forever. It’s sad but sometimes when you grow, you outgrow relationships. You may leave behind friendships along the way, but you’ll always keep the memories.
How to fight fair with the ones you love. Chances are you’re not trying to hurt the person you love and they aren’t trying to hurt you. If you can wind the tension of an argument down to a conversation about where the other person is coming from, there’s a greater chance you can remove the shame of losing a fight for one of you and the ego boost of the one who “won” the fight. I know a couple who, in the thick of a fight, say “Hey, same team.” Find a way to defuse the anger that can spiral out of control and make you lose sight of the good things you two have built. They don’t give out awards for winning the most fights in your relationship. They just give out divorce papers.
My mom always tells me that when I was a little kid, she never had to punish me for misbehaving because I would punish myself even worse. I’d lock myself in my room and couldn’t forgive myself, as a five-year-old. I realized that I do the same thing now when I feel I’ve made a mistake, whether it’s self-imposed exile or silencing myself and isolating. I’ve come to a realization that I need to be able to forgive myself for making the wrong choice, trusting the wrong person, or figuratively falling on my face in front of everyone. Step into the daylight and let it go.
"The philosopher Gillian Rose wrote a line I think about a lot. In her book Love’s Work, she says, “There is no democracy in any love relation: only mercy.” It is a very beautiful way of articulating a hideous truth: that we do not consent to be hurt or abandoned by those we love, and that the most we can hope for is they do it kindly.
But what happened isn’t simply unjust, it points to something much more frightening — that love itself exists outside the framework of justice. There is no court at which to plead your case, no authority who can grant you recompense. This is a terrible thing to contemplate, and naturally the mind rebels.
I sometimes think that in all of human history the only truly good advice is “this too shall pass.” How you feel now is not how you will feel tomorrow. Of course, the agony of love without justice is that other people’s feelings can change without reason, but there is comfort in knowing that yours will too."
Advice columns are the bomb. This one blew my heart in smithereens.
Happy birthday gramps! We love you as much as @chashuthebeagle loves his dirty paws. 🐾🐾🐾 #chashuthebeagle https://www.instagram.com/pibatara/p/BuQnAC0Fewn/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1u34fzvn11u2v
My kid: Mayaman ba kayo? (Are you rich?) Me: Sakto lang. Kayo? (We just have enough. You?) My kid: Hindi. (No. -We are not rich.) Me: Okay. Kailangan ba mayaman? Ang importante mabait kang bata. (Okay, do we really have to be rich? What’s important is for you to be a good kid.) Not being melodramatic or anything but seriously been thinking of this amusing innocent conversation for days now. At what age is it safe and appropriate for kids to learn abour class and poverty? How and until when do we shield them from the crippling awareness that the universe can be cruel, that you can be born to a life or to circumstances, which if you had the option, you probably would not choose? #volunteerwork https://www.instagram.com/pibatara/p/BuThseNlQTO/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=13ekghinfcdto
