Queen: The most iconic rock band made up of an unlikely combination of people that made deep, profound songs about the complexity of the human experience except for that one song about being in love with your car.
The Beatles: Most of their music sorta has same vibe but they basically helped birth modern rock, were super successful, and they sound amazing so no one’s complaining. Part 1 of the British Invasion Trifecta.
The Who: The embodiment of British invasion rock in the 60′s. Part 2 of the British Invasion Trifecta.
The Rolling Stones: They called themselves “The World’s Greatest Rock and Roll Band” and literally no one told them otherwise. Part 3 of the British Invasion Trifecta.
Led Zeppelin: Literally none of their songs are shorter than four minutes long but every song is also iconic. They’re like the godfathers of rock and they basically inspired every other rock band and sub-genre of rock after them.
Pink Floyd: The psychedelic rock band with trippy songs and a lead singer that always sounds drunk/high.
Kiss: Face paint and Gene Simmons’ tongue.
Def Leppard: THE hard rock band.
Ramones: Short songs. Like, average-of-two-minutes-long short songs.
Mötley Crüe: Take every dumb thing you’ve ever heard of a rockstar in their prime doing. Not only has Mötley Crüe done that dumb thing, but they’ve somehow made it dumber. It’s a miracle any of them (with the exception of Mick) are still alive.
Joan Jett and the Blackhearts/The Runaways: Girl-power rock for all of your girl-power needs.
Fleetwood Mac: Songs for rock-loving witches.
Deep Purple: They wrote that song about the venue catching on fire.
The Smiths: You love the music but you hate Morrissey.
The Cure: Their lead singer looks like a vampire and also hates Morrissey.
The Clash: “The only band that matters”.
AC/DC: “Yeah, I’m not gonna worry about drum fills or guitar solos but listen to this!” [screams in Australian].
Black Sabbath: The hard rock band that single-handedly birthed both the metal genre and Ozzy Osbourne.
Ozzy Osbourne: Mötley Crüe’s crazy uncle. Once bit the head off a bat and (allegedly) did a line of ants off the sidewalk, so the fact that he’s still alive is surprising.
Guns N’ Roses: Stadium rock personified.
Aerosmith: Steven Tyler’s lips are better than yours.
Rush: Messing around with time signatures.
Nirvana: Birthed grunge rock and therefore can take all of my money.
Van Halen: The radio-friendly hard rock band with Eddie Van Halen trying to reinvent the guitar in the background.
Janis Joplin: You’ll have a hard time justifying how powerful her voice is with the fact she’s like five feet tall.
Jimi Hendrix: He played his guitar with his teeth. Enough said.
Heart: Rock band with some pop influences that’s kinda underappreciated tbh.
The Doors: “No, we can’t control Jim or anyone in the band for that matter but we’d appreciate it if you didn’t make it worse” [Jim Morrison screaming in the background]. Also kinda underappreciated tbh.
Alice Cooper: Inspired everyone else in the hard rock/metal genre while also showing Mötley Crüe how to make shock factor and chaos classy.
Rites of Spring: Released one album that basically created the entire subgenre of emocore rock and then fucked off to God knows where.
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