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ᯓ 　maine/matt 　21 y/o 　northerner in the south　student

writing 　　drawing 　　extended intro

"that matthew tkachuk/mattdrai guy" to a lot of people... primary teams: FLA Panthers, PIT Penguins, SPR Thunderbirds, ARL Rock Lobsters, SEA Torrent other teams: DAL Stars, BUF Sabres, BOS Bruins, BOS Fleet

DNI: rpf incesters (=BLOCK!), moral puritans, my stalkers, gonna put anon hate in my inbox for no reason !!!!

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anons are getting weird and fucking disgusting in my inbox so i turned off anonymous questions.

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hey chat. remember that i am a person behind this screen when sending things to my inbox and naturally there's a line to be drawn in the sand. i know i talk about freak shit a lot but please don't send inappropriate things about yourselves to my inbox. it makes me feel very weird and i am very taken so i don't want or need that information.

it was funny at first but now it's getting too much.

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I feel like me just liking Matthew tkachuk makes me a bad person. Like I know he isn’t the greatest person alive, politics definitely. And me a being in a love-hate relationship with him, idk- cuz hockeytwt. My god everyone will just mtk hate tweet and 1k+ likes. But I still like him (and to some ppl liking him makes me maga) so my philosophy for any athlete is you can like the player but still acknowledge what that type of person he is (unless ur I.e. carter hart then fuck u)

-from a fellow cats fan anon

❤️

hi anon, thank you for sending this.

i think a big issue with hockey fandom today is that they don't think you can engage critically with players and still have attachment to them. having an attachment to a player has nothing to do with your personal beliefs and morals as a person when you are able to acknowledge and do whatever you can to give back to your community. i think matthew has become a figurehead for a lot of the disdain people have for nhlers politically.

i do think there is inherent nuance to certain players that other players lack, making liking them different. like. i think it is very clear and obvious that matthew was not always how he is now and there is something about his environment causing this version of him to exist, not that im excusing anything. i'm not. he's still bigoted and privileged. but i also think that those behaviors are normalized in his community and so he's never had a chance to unlearn them properly yknow?

hart is an entirely different equation. he is a rapist. there is no "learning that sexual assault is bad" it is a morally unfathomable act with zero room for nuance. if that makes sense

but also at the same time. why should you take what some random chronically online twitter andy saying that you're a bad person for liking him to heart. yeah it feels bad to hear but at the end of the day, their only impression of you is that one microscopic sliver out of the universe of your life. you know who you are and what you stand for. liking or having an attachment to a hockey player has nothing to do with that.

it took me a long time to tell myself that, doing action really helps. my job actively allows me to make actual change for minority groups regularly if not daily and i am so forever grateful that i am able to connect with people in ways that matter in the real world. i am a good or at least decent person. my special interest on a hockey player has nothing to do with my character. especially if your attachment comes from a neurodivergent place like mine does.

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i'm a different anon but kinda re: the keith conversion therapy thing, tell the class about your favourite matthew characterization plssss

for me, and this is firmly in pure RPF speculation territory, but matthew's Tragedy to me is that as a teen he was always looking forward to one day making the league, not just because it is genuinely something that has become a matter of pride to him and that he wants for himself (even though keith never really intended his sons to have any other option), but ALSO because of the freedom it meant. like he would be the type to handle conservative family by going "okay, let me give them all they want from me, get them off my back, and then once i get the opportunity, let me build a whole separate (queer) side of my life that they are kept completely out of the loop of, what they don't know can't hurt them, if i play my cards right, i can have my cake and eat it too", and then gradually realizing he will not be able to successfully pull this double life off. and then he settles into accepting that, and while he is not in denial to himself about what he needs/would make him happy, he's decided that, okay, he has weighed his options and he has made his choice to give up on it. and leon keeps reminding him that that door to that life he wants is still open, and that ultimately he is an adult and continuing to deny himself is HIS choice, not daddy's, and making matthew sort of "own up" to this in a way matthew feels is unfairly putting the responsibility for his situation entirely on him? and that mischaracterization is what makes him so bitter/pisses him off so easily

hi anon!!! this is such a good way to go about characterizing matthew.

in a strictly RPF sense, my favorite trope to play with with him is a little similar! i really like AU-BDSM or omegaverse iterations of sub/omega matthew (especially late presentation in either) because it forces a character who is so hard set on not communicating not only for pleasing others but for his own safety (fawn response) to be vulnerable and let someone take care of him. you can also play with a lot of internalized transphobia/homophobia/misogyny narratives correlating to being an "omega" or being a "submissive" that provide a lot of in-depth work into matthew's character in a way that i am a SUCKER for.

i actually wrote part of a final for a class i had last year on how depicting matthew tkachuk as an omega correlates to unique narratives of internalized transphobia because the "omega" experience of a male is inherently trans-coded.

overall. i love putting matthew into situations in which he is forced to have support from other people. whether it be a heat fic in the omegaverse like so is the longing by dogjuice (which i just reread) or linger by bropunzeling or a AU-BDSM fic surrounding subdrop/lack of sceneing like looking through you by nordalanche or consolation prize by marycontraire (one of my first long mattdrai fics i read). I love putting him in situations idk.

i feel differently on how i depict matthew in my works when i write what i call "canon-adjacent matthew". then i play on a lot of narratives of homophobia and personal sacrifice like you were noting.

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For the panthers family tree. Who would be Matthew’s husband and kid?

matthew and sasha just had two beautiful baby twin boys simas ignatavicius and vilho vanhatalo clearly

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Another lurker who appreciates the matthewposting <3 <3 this is so funny to me

thank you anon!!!! i love to spread my matthew autism powers.

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Ok coming out of the woodwork to say I also think Matthew is hot & would like to enjoy him and mattdrai in peace. A side blog like you suggested to another anon could be a good idea tbh… 🤔

I wanted to ask you to say more about your “he was conversion therapized by Keith” theory you’ve probably definitely mentioned here before bc as somebody who is fairly new to Mattdrai and Matthew, there really does seem to be such a tangible difference in him after a certain point.. coinciding with the trade to Florida and the cup wins/white house visits & subsequent fall from grace/the cups, marriage/baby, coming out as maga, podcast arc of it all. I just find it kind of delicious for narrative purposes and also want to hear your take on the shift in maffew & possible explanations.

thank you for coming to the matthew club!!! i am happy to oblige my thoughts on matthew's change in behavior.

so i think with matthew you have to start with the fact that multiple times matthew has had to go not contact with this father. [X] One of these was while he was in Calgary and one of them was while he was in Florida. The post i had associated with the calgary no-contact era was deleted so I don't have it currently. But its an important starting point.

if you think about how matthew acted while he was playing for calgary as opposed to florida, i would venture to say that it was a lot more open, free and happy to be the snarky little shit he is. (also he was way more flamboyant i would dare to say at the time)

you have to know a little tkachuk family lore too. like the fact that matthew's uncle is his agent. which means that his dad would hear and probably be involved if matthew wanted to be traded out of calgary. thus the no-contact era ends.

you can see around this time that matthew does start to change personality wise- direct correlation with going back into contact with keith. i personally think that sometime in the summer of 2022 during the full move down to florida that something happened. i like to say he got conversion-therapized by keith but it was probably just being around keith long enough does crazy things to matthew (yknow the abuse victim [X])'s head and matthew decides he needs to be complacent with anything keith wants of him. this makes sense when you think of the rumors that went around that keith and chantal set up matthew and ellie together. good ol fashioned catholic arranged marriage style. and of course, wanting to please keith, matthew probably molded himself into someone keith would respect: a god-fearing, magahead, pro-america, bigot.

the tkachuks are a very traditional household in a sense. baby concieved clearly on the wedding night, very traditional values when it comes to gender roles.

im not excusing any of matthew's behavior but i think more people should acknowledge that maybe he is a product of his surroundings? and is still surrounded by that enough to not know that its wrong or that its an out?

i always write the angstiest shit about matthew concerning this cause idk to me the timeline of his downfall is so clear and the cause is also so clear.

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Mattdrai, but draisaitl wears that blue dick n balls, no socks fit Matthew wore

oh my god. i should draw this. baby blue dick & balls leon draisaitl.

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do you perchance have some songs that remind you of Himst? because for me he's completely taken over Hyëna by KMFDM (the song specifically but yeah the rest of the album too. well. save for the songs that are about condemning january 6th lol)

YESYEYSYEYSYEYEYSYESS I HAVE SO MANY MATTHEW PLAYLISTS!!!!!!! some of these are through a mattdrai lens!!!!!

EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED - Tiffany Day

American Teenager - Ethel Cain

Strangers - Ethel Cain

Fighting In The Car (Original Version) - Joe P

Sometime Around Midnight - The Airborne Toxic Event

Doc - Nep

De Sade - Slipknot

Master and Servant - Depeche Mode

I'd At Least Have To Think About It - Leith Ross

GINASFS - Fall Out Boy

Cheerleader - Porter Robinson

Crush - Ethel Cain

(cringe picks don't kill me just read the lyrics)

Driver's Seat - Madds Buckley

So American - Olivia Rodrigo

[tapedsleeves]

Calgary flames players showing up to the Rogers Place visitors locker room only to find that it’s locked. 🤣🤣🤣

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btw i'm wondering, how much do you know about matthew's 2016 memorial cup lore? 👀👀 bc i've read this post recently https://www.tumblr.com/sweethomeblue/818007011529818112/so-now-that-mitch-marner-is-getting-the-same-level (plus another matthewmitch primer in the prompts in /collections/hrpfconfessional on ao3 of all places, should still be towards the bottom of the 1st page as of me writing this) and matthew scoring the 2016 mem cup final OT winner on a leg injury while grieving his billet mom is something that lives so rent free in my head!!! like!!! (and said final taking place in red deer, alberta is just. mwah chef's kiss)

let's just say when i find a piece of matthew lore on the internet i don't know i get shocked atp. i did know this though!!! which is why it pisses me off when people say that matthew wasn't a good draft pick for the flames (just cause they don't like him) cause obviously you weren't seeing how well he was performing on the knights PLUS his memorial cup and weird ass situationship with mitch marner. sombrero boys...

a good reference about how much innate matthew lore i know of is that one time i was really sick. like REALLY REALLY sick and i was having brain fog so bad i couldn't think of anything. my partner asked me when matthew tkachuk was traded to the panthers as a joke thinking i didn't know it. and i honestly had a hunch. i was really confusedly being like "it was 2022....I feel like it was July 22nd". Needless to say in my sickly stupor i can still remember niche matthew associated dates. @phen0men0tter can vouch this is something that actually happened.

autism powers are a real thing i swear

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everyone write more mattdrai soulmate aus........

maybe i should but im dookie ass butt at longform fics

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i guess another takeaway here is that even if your posts/art/fics/etc seem to flop, you never know how many people are lurking on them and appreciating you from the shadows <3 <3 <3

TRUE!!!! this really resonates with me because my art/fics get likes but my everyday posts about matthew/the panthers/hockey often flop and im so happy to know people are appreciating them even if they can't show it through interaction!!

im always happy to be the matthew loving mouthpiece for those who don't want to post him on main 🫶🫶🫶

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Are we talking about this now? Bc I’m scared to even leave a like on any content about him up here bc I’ve had people then come back to my blog and cuss me out for liking a post about him 😭😩 why? why are you stalking the likes of Matthew content? Can we not just like the baby blue dick & balls fit (shoutout to anon for that btw lmao) in peace???? Must we be burned at the stake 🔥🫩

NOOOO ANON LIVE YOUR PEACE.!!!!!

you could always make an alt account for being cringe and free. this is technically my alt account just for hockey stuff, my main is more general interests.

baby blue dick & balls club will always be here when you need more matthew content 🫶

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Diff anon, but no, fr.. I’m still obsessed with Matthew. That mf’er is still hot as shit! But I can’t take all the heat from anons in my inbox about his politics bc I guess I’m a big baby 😭😭😭 like let me play with my mattdrai dolls without being eviscerated please💀

(but also the absolute raging hypocrisy from hockey fans about Matthew’s political beliefs vs their precious pookie wookies who are perfect. please we know that’s not true. i’ve seen the follows of their pookies lmao)

i genuinely think the only thing that gives me the strength to still be open about my matthew autism powers is the fact that i was a jschlatt fan between 2019-2022. i survived mcyttwt being a jschlatt fan i can handle tumblrinas

also this new age hockey fandom has no knowledge of fandom etiquete or culture. like it should be fucking obvious to be critical of your favorite players and understand that you don't agree with every single thing your favorite players do. like. are we dumb? WERE IN A RECESSIONNNN... A MENTAL REGRESSIONNN

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i'm cracking up this whole situation is giving this https://www.tiktok.com/@rabeyakhat/video/7640944575091100941 POV how we hide to talk unprocessed mtkachuk bulge in this modern nhlblr we live in

guys to be cringe is to be free. everyone get more insane about matthew NOW!!!!!!!!