familiar pain, unbearable vision, getting curious about the scars (transit journal)
this last month has been excruciating. this whole year or so has been lived through gritted teeth and trying to soothe the pain later - I'm in my saturn return, so that's to be expected I suppose - but august-september have honestly been too much to bear. I am a person who avoids conflict, avoids pain, avoids the kind of "unbearable vision" that leaves you shaking and speechless. I stay calm on the surface and numb myself so I can carry on, regardless of the toll it takes. I think there are a lot of points in my natal chart that amplify this trait of mine; I'm a libra-pisces-virgo with a seventh house moon, saturn in aries and venus and mars in the twelfth! It physically pains me to "misbehave", or rock the boat in any way.
but I think this last month, on the back of the year before it, has broken the thing inside me that stops me from reacting. I wouldn't even describe it as a eureka moment or a boiling point, more of a series of nicks you barely notice until it stings to take a bath. Then you look at yourself and think, "where the fuck did these come from?" and start to retrace your steps until you've found all of the impacts. virgo and libra season, for me, have been a sort of emotional death by a thousand cuts; things have just kept happening, relentlessly, until I couldn't not notice any more. And that's where chiron comes into play.
chiron's archetype is the wounded healer, using their own scars to inform them on how to mend those of others. Right now, the transiting sun is starting to illuminate my natal chiron. I think, coupled with the recent full moon in aries (opposing my natal chiron, of course), I have reached and surpassed the "unbearable vision" stage; at least for now. I'm sure it'll become unbearable again soon, that's just how cycles work. But for me, it reached the point where the pain of experiencing was a welcome change from the pain of repressing.
although chiron is usually associated with the healing of others, I'm using some artistic license here; I see this illumination, this newfound curiosity and energy to actually start unraveling some of my cycles, as a chance to work on healing the parts of myself that, through my desire for peace and quiet, I neglect and reject. It's a time for me to acknowledge where I am going wrong and how that impacts those parts of me. A time for me to think with a more unified self at the forefront of all I do.
difficult transits are often the most impactful, and ultimately, the most insightful, when you can look at them with eyes unclouded. And for me, numbing myself to the pain of life leaves me blind.
how are your current transits impacting you? please feel free to chat with me about it via reblogs or replies :-)
i would like to get off the transit train pls
i'm getting through it (with difficulty)
they're painful but promising
things are improving every day
i love my transits <3
Voting ended onOct 9, 2025
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