no day but today

[champgn]

[timotaychalamet]

[panacooter]

I like being alone but I'm not used to feeling lonely

[panacooter]

carbon copy girls

dying to please

turn off the lights

and get on their knees

[panacooter]

Was I more myself with or without the meds ???????????

Like shit went well for me yes, but was my judgement clouded ???? Fuc mi up son

[panacooter]

She is so perfect

He is impossibly thin,

And they wonder why.

[panacooter]

These days I don't want to look at you

Spend time with you, read your texts, hear your name in conversation...

I don't want another opportunity to be compared

If I ever say it out loud you'll deny it, say I'm ridiculous or half ass a compliment

In the end I don't care what other people think, I hate myself the way I am and I guess ,

I'm just never not going to be jealous of you.

[panacooter]

Reasons

- I'm bad at sport

- I'm not competitive like you

- I'm a downer

- When I'm anxious or scared I isolate myself and hide

- I'm hung up on all the times I was the third wheel, second priority- when you were always #1

- I feel I thrived before but we are doing so well

- I fear I only thrived because the opportunities arise without you being the one to take it

- I feel like I'm losing my friends by letting you in

- I will never stop comparing myself to you

- I don't feel romantic feelings for you but if I did things would make more sense

- I don't like pretending I'm something I'm not

- I feel you will look down on anyone I show interest in because it's not stereotypical good looks

- I feel pressure to have opinions on everything when lots of things I'd rather stay impartial about

- I don't like games

- I don't like sharing secrets if they can hurt people

- I don't like feeling used

- I don't like the pressure of accountability re my emotional state 24/7

- I don't like "I know you" complex

[panacooter]

I'm bad company,

I have been for a while now.

I'm not what you want.

[panacooter]

If she was there too

Would it have ever happened ?

Would you notice me ?

[panacooter]

Can't ever be free

I know it's not worth it now

They'll always want you.

[panacooter]

you chose the wrong girl

unlucky in love with me

you were just a pawn

[panacooter]

thought it was over

emptiness and the heart ache

i was mistaken

[panacooter]

white, thin and perky

yet preys on validation

comparison kills

[panacooter]

the healing angel

everything you touch is gold

but you can’t fix me

[panacooter]

gloomy surroundings

but when i looked at your face

electricity

[panacooter]

pretending to care

like it’s your occupation

unbelievable.