moonlight sunrise 🌙

don't fake, don't say, we're late ✨️ 21+, they/them, no longer active

[panda-writes-kpop]

N A V I G A T I O N ☆

M A S T E R L I S T

A B O U T ☆ M E

T H E ☆ P A L A D I N S

A N O N ☆ L I S T

M E N T A L ☆ H E A L T H ☆ L I N K S 🫶

This blog is heading towards retirement/archival! I am no longer taking requests as of June 30th, 2025. Any requests sent in before then will be honored at my own pace. Thank you for your understanding in advance.

[panda-writes-kpop]

hey. let's chat for a moment, okay?

I'm not sure what I expected when I first started this blog. I was barely 17, looking for a new platform to write on after I got sick of Wattpad, so I started writing here. I never could've IMAGINED the ride I was in for over the next four-ish years.

Through this blog, I had the honor of connecting with lifelong friends that I will always love and adore. Of course, if you've been here for the long haul, then you know the Paladins, but I've also made a few other lovely friends that haven't been as visible on my blog. I can't imagine my life without these people, and I'm so so thankful for their continued love and support of my online and offline lives.

Then, of course, there is all of the sweet people (like you, dear reader) that I have had the pleasure of interacting with. I cherished every anon who interacted with me, all of the asks and requests I received, along with every reblog and like on my posts. I read and cherish every single word you write for me, even if I don't always say it. And then there's the 1.7k of you (holy shit, thank you, by the way) who have chosen to follow me despite my lack of activity over the past year. It brings a smile to my face to know that I have brought so many people something they enjoy, and perhaps, a place to rest and seek comfort.

Now, you're probably reading this and thinking to yourself, "Hey Panda/Katie, this sounds like a goodbye/retirement letter," that's because... it is. Sort of.

Well, cat's out of the bag. To be honest, I haven't really had any motivation for writing K-pop in months, or maybe even over a year? Sure, I've posted fics in that time, but I don't know if I truly enjoyed writing them. I mostly wrote them for others rather than for myself or to tell a story that I wanted to tell. In the past year, there's maybe been a handful of fics that I feel are good enough quality for the standard that I hold myself to. It's not like I think they are bad or that I hate them, but I know I can do better. You deserve better from me. And I don't think I can provide that anymore.

Also, when it comes to K-pop, I haven't been interacting with the genre much over the past year. The only groups I really keep up with anymore are dreamcatcher, itzy, twice, and a bit of aespa on occasion. I enjoy listening to other music and engaging in other fandoms more. I don't think I'll ever say that K-pop was a phase, but it was an important part of my developmental years that I'll always treasure.

Sooooo.... what now?

Well, I've already made a few changes on my blog. You'll notice that I've trimmed up the navigation a bit in order to make my blog easier to navigate for any newcomers or anyone else who wants to visit it. I also went through and deleted any unnecessary posts from the past (and re-reading some of my earliest interactions with the Paladins made me so nostalgic, I love them all dearly)

And then there's the requests I've received, aka the elephant in the room. You might think differently, but I feel obligated to do these requests, in one way or another. I will honor any request sent in before the date of this post, but it may take months or even years for them to come out. I apologize for the delay, but hopefully I'm able to eventually get these projects out so everyone involved is satisfied. Plus, I have an unfinished non-request project for this blog that I'd like to get to eventually, just so everything is all wrapped up.

Thank you all, again and again, for your love and support towards me for the past four years. It has been a blast to tell my stories to such a fun, diverse, and amazing audience that enjoys what I produce. I will never forget all of the love you've given me, through the ups and downs of my real life. I can't imagine my life without this blog, weirdly enough. I wouldn't have met my closest friends, wouldn't have gained confidence in myself and my writing, and I wouldn't have had the pleasure of writing for you all for the past four years. There will never be enough words to express my gratitude to all of you.

With all of my love, support, and unending gratitude,

~ Katie/Panda

[panda-writes-kpop]

Ah, I see you stan Wonyoung. I’m writing something for her I wanna publish. Would you write something for Wonyoung in the future? 👁️👁️ I’m not making a request because I’m too shy and you’re probably very busy.

honey, you're familiar ~ jng. wnyg.

a/n: I was going to post this earlier, but I decided to try making a banner for a while and uh... it didn't work out too well 😭 all is well, I'll continue to hone my skills and try again later. Also, the semester is finally over!!! and we cheered!!! and I know the anon didn’t specifically ask for a fic but I had a idea come to mind and it was just PERFECT for her. ❤️ so yes, I will write for wonyoung! And you should feel free to request from me - I'm very open to taking requests from anyone who asks!

tw: creepy/horror vibes.

♡ Masterlist ♡

summary/word count: Everything's more romantic in the movies than in real life, and you're prone to agree after a certain character from your short story comes to life; 3.1k words.

“Can you tell me another story?”

“Another one? It’s already past your bedtime, and I don’t need to get in any more trouble with your parents-” You try to get up from the child-sized bed, but they tug you back down before you can get too far.

What are you, a miniature Hulk?

“Please?” The kid you’re babysitting gives you the most cliché pup dog eyes and the fakest frown you’ve ever seen.

You should be a responsible adult and deny their request, wish them goodnight, and close the door before returning to the movie that’s awaiting you in the living room. 

Lucky for the kid, you’re only responsible before 9:00 p.m., and the clock behind you reads 9:01.

“One more story, okay?” You sigh while racking your brain for stories that would interest a six-year-old. “Alright, I’ve got one.”

They lean closer in excitement as you begin to tell your story.

“Once upon a time, there was a young child who needed to go to bed and a babysitter who wanted them to go to sleep before the kid’s parents got home.” You smile as they whine in refusal of your story. “What, you didn’t like that one?”

“That’s not fair!” They stick their lip out before lightly tugging on your sleeve. “Just one more, then I’ll go to bed. I promise!”

“Okay, okay!” You shake them off of you before looking up to the ceiling. “I’m going to tell you a real story this time.”

“You promise?” They stick out their pinky, and you reluctantly give them your pinky.

They pull away and tuck themselves back into bed as you try to think of a story that would fully entertain the child in your head.

Unfortunately for you, there’s nothing in your mind besides the creative writing assignment that you’re delaying for one of your university classes.

Maybe you can kill two birds with one stone?

~

You don’t remember when the person in the mirror stopped looking like you. Maybe it was years past, when you were a child, where you disappeared from the reflection in front of you. 

Somewhere, deep in your mind, there’s a memory of you as a child asking your parents about it, and they dismissed your concerns as a “childish memory”. 

Nowadays, as a full grown adult, it’s embarrassing to admit why you don’t look in the mirror. Most say it’s self-esteem issues, but you know that it’s more than that.

Especially when the woman who stares back at you is enchantingly beautiful. 

You’ve always been so star-struck by her beauty, so it’s never occurred to you to actually talk to her. To ask her why she’s there, why she’s only looked at you for so long? Why did she choose you as the one she stares back at?

It takes a lot of courage to pull the blanket off of the mirror - what if today is the day that your reflection returns back to you? - but you did it anyway.

An odd feeling of relief pools inside of you when you stare back at the kind face that admires you. Every question bounces inside of your head, and you struggle to form a coherent sentence at the sight of her.

For the first time, her movements don’t copy yours. She raises her hand against the mirror, and tilts her head towards you.

“You don’t have to say anything, dearest. I already know everything inside of your mind.”

Your jaw nearly drops to the floor at her confession, and she softly laughs.

“It’s unfair that I know everything about you, and you know nothing about me. Wouldn’t you like to change that?” Her other hand rests on the other side of the mirror as you let go of the blanket that you’ve been holding.

“Yeah…” 

As if in a trance, you approach the mirror until you’re mere inches from her face.

If she was a real person, you think, she’d be able to reach out and grab me!

Your hand reaches out to mirror hers, but you pause for a moment.

“Why me?” You whisper, unable to look away from her.

“Why not you?” 

You can’t stop your hand from pressing against the glass mirror, reflecting hers, just as she has done for you. 

“You won’t believe what I can show you…” She trails off before offering you a sincere smile. “I’m Wonyoung, by the way.”

Before you can respond with your own name, her hand reaches out of the mirror’s reflection and grabs yours.

~

“They were frightened, far beyond their wildest imagination, but then-” You pause to look down at the sleeping child next to you. “How long have you been out?”

You give them a gentle poke, to make sure that they’re not faking, before turning off the lamp next to you and closing the door.

I should probably write down my story before I forget it.

As quickly and quietly as you can, you maneuver your way back into the living room where your neglected laptop sits, along with a random movie that happened to be in the DVD player when you pressed play.

You don’t realize how creepy the story is until the beginning stares back at you - are you liable for childhood trauma if you accidentally give that kid nightmares?

Eh, it wasn’t that bad when I said it. This version is more fitting for an adult audience.

Your stomach grumbles as you look at the time on your phone.

When did it get so close to midnight?

The nice thing about house sitting and babysitting for a family friend is that you were more than welcome to take what you wanted from the pantry, along with your hourly pay. 

As you make your way to the kitchen, you realize that you forgot to turn on the hallway light. You opt to use your cellphone as you approach the kitchen. On your right, just before you reach the kitchen, is a mirror that is strikingly similar to the one you wrote about.

Spooky.

You pay it no mind as you pass into the kitchen, but the reflection in the mirror watches you with intrigue as you decide what you want to snack on.

~

You should panic, like any normal person would do, but a scream won’t escape your throat.

Won’t, or do you refuse to scream because some dark, twisted part of you wants to know what would happen next?

It’s too late to dwell on the past when her other hand reaches through the mirror and grabs your free hand.

“Are you ready?”

“...Sure?” Your answer lacks any sort of confidence and conviction, but it doesn’t look like Wonyoung was looking for approval as she pulls you into the mirror.

You close your eyes, while you await the pain of a mirror meeting your face, but, to your surprise…

Nothing happens?

You dare to open your eyes, and a gasp of surprise leaves your throat.

“Where am I?” You look around frantically at the unfamiliar scenery.

You’re no longer in your home, but rather, a small dorm room that’s decorated in every shade of pink that you could dream of. There’s a small window that reveals the outside world, but you’re far too focused on the woman in front of you to notice anything outside.

“Home.” Wonyoung says with a hint of relief in her voice. “You’re finally home.”

“Home? My home was just back…” You turn around to face the mirror, but only your reflection stares back at you. “What is this?”

“You don’t remember, do you? That awful spell from that terrible woman… it took your memories away from you as well?” Tears threaten to fall from her eyes as she backs away from you. “I’m sorry, maybe it was a mistake to bring you back so soon.”

She tries to pull away from you, but you grab her hands and pull her towards you again.

“Please explain it all to me. If there’s something I’m forgetting, then I want to remember it all.”

“You do?”

“I do.”

~

“Morning, kiddo,” You hum just as the waffles pop out of the toaster, “you’re just in time.” 

“Mom’s not back?” They rub the sleep out of their eyes as you attempt to plate the waffles without burning your hand.

Your attempt is unsuccessful - apparently a household toaster can harness the power of the fucking Sun - so you do your best not to curse out the toaster before carefully tossing the waffles onto a small plate.

“Yeah, your mom and dad won’t be back until Sunday.” You nurse your injuries by running cold tap water on your fingers. “By the way, did you get into the fridge last night?”

“No,” They shake their head. “I was in my room all night. Are you sure you didn’t get into the fridge?”

“Of course not! I was sleeping!” You scoff as they raise an eyebrow at you. “Okay, I was busy writing for a few hours and I did raid the pantries, but I didn’t touch the fridge!”

“Uh-huh…” Unconvinced, the kid begins to eat the waffles you serve them as you look in the fridge and sigh.

“I was going to give you some strawberries, but someone came through and ate what was left in the package.” You shrug your shoulders and toss the container into the garbage bin. “Maybe it was a ghost…”

You have to bite down on your lip, hard, in order to not laugh at the kid’s spooked expression.

“Scary ghosts?”

“No, not scary ghosts. More like the lady in the story I told you last night. A mischievous ghost, sure, but one that wants to help rather than harm.” You serve the kid some orange juice before grabbing water for yourself.

“Oh, I like her! She came to visit me last night.” They casually say as you turn around to face them.

“I’m sorry, did you just say what I think you just said?”

~

“Witches? You can’t be serious, right? I mean, I just live in a world where I go to work, pay bills, and live a normal, human life.”

“I’m afraid this is all true. You were a witch, just like me, until someone cursed you and pulled you away from this world - away from me.” Wonyoung moves closer to you as you sit on her dorm bed.

Her hand brushes over yours, as if she’s afraid to touch you. If this is hard on you, then she must be crushing under the pressure. Wanting to see you, be with you, for years on end but not being sure if she should reach out to you just yet.

“I’m sorry that I don’t remember more.” Your hand dares to grab hers in an attempt to comfort her instead of the other way around. “It’s just hard to believe. I’ve been a human for so long that this magic seems so…”

“Surreal?” Her fingers interlock with yours as she smiles at you. “Look down.”

You look at your hand, firmly in hers, and gasp at the trail of blue light that falls down your hand.

Wonyoung’s arm radiates red light, and where your hands meet, a beautiful shade of purple lights up the space between you two.

~

Usually, it wasn’t a struggle to stay awake during your Monday afternoon class, but two long nights with a small child drained most of the energy out of you. Without any caffeine, your eyelids were fighting your will to pay attention, and the latter was in a losing battle. 

“Alright, I’ll be ending class early so you can enjoy the beautiful weather!” The professor announces, and not a moment later, your classmates pack up and head out of the room.

You’re a bit delayed to follow, but you manage to not be the last in line to leave the class as you try to exit the class.

Your professor, however, has other plans as they call out your name.

“Do you mind staying after class?”

Absolutely not because that’s terrifying, your thoughts say.

“Sure.” Is all that comes out of your mouth as you’re terrified to say anything more.

The rest of your classmates leave as you hang back with the professor.

“I have to say, I’m very impressed with your paper. I don’t easily give out one-hundreds, you know,” Your professor gives you an earnest smile that you match with an uneasy one of your own. “But I have to ask: what inspired the story?”

“You’re not going to believe this,” or like it, you think as this professor has lectured your class on not submitting things right before they are due, “but I was inspired to write the story after I told a similar story to a kid I was babysitting.”

They raise their eyebrow.

“You didn’t give them nightmares, right?”

“The story I told was more age-appropriate.” You feel yourself begin to relax as the praise truly sinks in. “Thank you for the compliments on my story.”

“If you’re interested in continuing it, I’d love to help.” 

“I, uh…” You pause before tilting your head and staring out the window that faces the courtyard.

You see your reflection, just as it should be, but something beyond the window catches your eye.

It isn’t something - it’s a girl.

A black-haired girl who was enchantingly beautiful. A face you couldn’t forget because you had written about it for hours on end.

And she waves at you.

“Are you alright?” The professor catches your attention as your eyes focus back on them.

“Yeah, I’ll… think about it. Thanks for the offer, though.” You quickly exit the room, not before giving a quick look back at the window. 

Wonyoung isn't there anymore, but was she even there in the first place?

~

“This place… it’s beautiful. I can’t believe that I would forget a place like this.” Wonyoung’s arm latches onto yours as you stare in awe at the tree in front of you. It’s covered in purple leaves that match every other tree that you can see. “My campus never looks like this.”

“I’m glad you like it.” Warmth spreads across her face as she admires you for a moment. “Nothing is coming to you?”

“Not at the moment, no.”

“Then can you allow me to show you something else?” 

Curiously, you try to peer over her shoulder as she pulls up something on her phone. As politely as she can, she pushes you away before you return your gaze to the sky.

“Hiding something, are we?” You try to tease her, but it’s a half-hearted attempt.

She’s sweet beyond your wildest dreams, and selfless on top of everything - trying to bring you back after you had been gone for months, if not years.

“From you? Never.” Wonyoung hands you her phone, and as you scroll through the pictures, she looks at you with anticipation.

It’s just a normal gallery of photos that a 20-year-old would have on her phone, and it’s nothing out of the ordinary until you stumble on a picture of the two of you.

Then it all comes racing back. 

Nights spent curled up together, studying for finals. Small outings with large groups of friends. Practicing spells from sunset to sunrise.

“You remember, right? We were friends.” A small tear falls down her cheek when you softly nod.

But you remember more than that.

Hands being held underneath the library desk. Knowing looks shared in lecture halls. Stolen moments away from the friend group. Slumber party make-outs under the disguise of drunken inhibition. A final kiss, one of good luck, before you were to part forever.

Just friends? Is that what you were to each other?

“Friends?” Your voice falters for a moment as you weigh the two options in your mind. “I thought we were lovers.”

~

You don’t know what compels you to write another ending to the story you wrote. Maybe it’s the weird vision you had this afternoon, or the rising feeling of dread that’s pooling in you.

What if my professor thinks I’m weird and judges me differently? Now I’ll never be able to have a one-on-one conversation with them without thinking about THAT incident.

That girl in the window, it couldn’t have been Wonyoung. Some poor kid was probably looking into a classroom during their tour of campus, and you probably scared them off. And then there was the incident last weekend with the kid you babysat seeing her - you thoroughly examined their room, only to find no sign of their nighttime visitor. 

Also, Wonyoung is just a character you made up in your head. A make-believe story for a small child and your professor.

Why, then, did it feel so real?

For some reason, you haven’t looked in the mirror in your apartment. You’re terrified of what you’ll find, to say the least. What if she is staring back at you? What if she isn’t? What then?

This seemed much more romantic in the story you wrote. You were downright terrified at the possibility of a girl existing in your reflection, in a parallel world, who was so desperately in love with you that she would dedicate a good portion of her free time to free you.

Okay, so maybe your professor did have a point about you traumatizing that poor kid…

One part of you tells you to stop freaking out, and to walk over there and face whatever is staring you down on the other side. The other, more rational, part of you is telling you to run for the hills and never look back until you pass out or forget that any of this has happened.

Like any horror movie character that was doomed for death, the irrational, curious part of your brain wins out as you gently set your computer aside.

Nothing will get you. You’re safe inside of your apartment.

You repeat this mantra as you dread every step between you and the bathroom mirror. Your footsteps feel heavy, and your heartbeat pounds at a steady rhythm as you slowly approach the bathroom.

You flip the light on, and as you look into the mirror, a breath of relief escapes you.

Thankfully, it’s just me.

All of it was just inside of your head, luckily.

Then a hand appears on your shoulder, and you scream as loud as you can.

The figure behind you doesn’t move nor flinch. They simply tilt their head in anticipation as they wait for you to turn around and look them in the eyes.

But you don’t have to.

Not when you know exactly who’s there.

Still, you play her little game and do your best to not freak out as you come eye-to-eye with the girl in your story: Jang Wonyoung.

The smile she gives you doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“I missed you, darling.”

[panda-writes-kpop]

Can I be 🍓 anon? 👁️👁️

of course, my dear! I've added you to the Anon List (feel free to ask to be on this if you'd like to be recognized by an emoji when sending in asks!)

[panda-writes-kpop]

Panda! The newest ‘Letters To You’ oneshot is so cute! Thank you for reaponding to my request for it! ❤️

(this is really late, I apologize in advance!)

I'm glad you enjoyed the fic! I had fun digging through my notes to write something for your ask. 💜

[panda-writes-kpop]

Sweet Cherry-Lime Slushie (l. yb.)

a/n: happy Dami day!! currently out of town so I'll update the master list when I can. :) enjoy this fic!

tw: none!

Prompt List >>> Masterlist

A Cherry Lime Slushie takes me back to a time before the internet and before myself and all of you. The history that makes our world is what defines this slushie. Some of history had sweet triumphs, but sour defeat was also a necessary part of the growth of society as a whole.

“Are you alright, my love?”

Her voice falls on deaf ears as your quill flies across the page in front of you. 

You weren’t usually one for midnight writing, but your thoughts and worries kept you awake at night as you laid next to your lover. It was not unusual for you to toss and turn at night - a constant reminder of your failures as your next novel sits on your desk, awaiting further instruction.

Tonight, however, was a weird night. Despite all of your worrying thoughts, you managed to grasp onto a half-decent idea that needed to reach paper before you forgot it in the morning.

“I’m good.” With your free hand, you reach behind you to grab hers. “I’ll be back to bed in a minute.”

You were lying, and Dami most definitely knew you were lying as she pulled your hand up to her lips. Carefully, she presses a small kiss to your hand before intertwining your fingers.

“Don’t worry about me.” Dami gently places a candle at your side as you look up at her. “You’ll hurt your eyes if you continue to write in the dark.”

“What would I ever do without you?”

“Who knows, and who cares.” She smiles as you stand up to kiss her. “Stay and write as long as you need. I’m going back to sleep.”

With another goodbye kiss (or two), she retreats back to your shared quarters as you return to your writing.  Somehow, out of all of the people in the world, she fell in love with you. And you’d find a way to make her happy and satisfied, day after day, for the rest of your lives.

[panda-writes-kpop]

Hi Panda! I’m that anon that asked about the ‘Letters to You’ series! It’s sweet of you to offer a new scenario around that world for me ❤️ If you could, would you write about Siyeon? She has been my bias since day one! Thank for answering my ask! Bye!

5 mar. yr. ??? - the moon, you, and I (l. sy.)

a/n: y'all are NOT going to believe what has led to the delay of me writing. I was planning on writing a late Valentine's Day fic but then my school computer literally fucking broke along the frame (ao3 author's curse has hit me after all of these years). then i had midterms and that sucked so bad, and then I had homework to work on during my spring break. God I'm so over school WHY CAN'T IT BE MAY ALREADY 😭

anyways, enjoy this fic! ❤️ I loved working on this fic for you, anon, and I hope you like it! The lore is all over the place but if I were to continue the series I'd like to write it in a timestamp-esque format, hence the weird title.

tw: alcohol consumption, i wrote this fic on a few hours of sleep so forgive the grammar.

related fics: Letters to You

Masterlist

“Hey, where are you going at this hour?”

The hairs stand up on the back of your neck as you consider your options. You could try and lie, but the art of deception was never your strong suit.

“Did you steal some baked goods from the festival?” The royal baker scolds you with only their eyes as you suddenly find your shoelaces more interesting than anything else. “Hey, look at me when I’m talking to you, kid!”

They grab your chin and pull your head up so you’re looking them straight in the eye.

“I did. My friends were hungry, so I gave them food.” You immediately confess your sin, hoping that it’ll save you from whatever punishment awaits you. 

“Kid, all you have to do is ask, and the world is yours. You don’t need to lie, cheat, or steal to get your way. You’re the heir to the throne for goodness’ sake - think of the scandal this would cause if people thought that you stole food because we weren’t feeding you properly!”

Option two, which is somehow less appealing than trying to undo your goody-two-shoes nature, was to pull the oddly-shaped mask off your face and reveal your identity to the guards in front of you. This would, of course, immediately backfire on any plans you had as you would be safely escorted back to the palace, where a lecture from your head guard, SuA, awaits you.

“Where were you this evening?” SuA rushes up to you to check your hands, arms, and torso before pulling you into a hug. “I sent the guards out to look for you when you didn’t come back!”

“SuA, I’m fine-” You try to reassure her with a loving pat to her back, but her grip on you tightens as she pulls away from the embrace.

“Did someone take you? Did they want money? What did you say? Oh Gods, your parents are going to kill me when they find out that I let you out of my sight-”

“Oh, I just went out on a walk with Ryujin!” You beam at SuA as you watch her expression fall, and her left eye twitches ever-so-slightly as she drags you into the nearest room with the door.

“What are you-”

SLAM!

“I’m sorry, you had me worried because you were on a date with your GIRLFRIEND?”

Then Sua proceeded to yell at you for at least two hours. You weren’t sure exactly how long it was, partially because you weren’t counting, and partially because you fell asleep halfway through. That prompted her to restart the lecture over again.

That led you to the super-secret third option, which sounded like the best choice - run like a bat out of hell and hope that your pursuers were much less athletic than you were. You could, say, get lost during the pursuit in a crowd… 

Yeah, because crowds of people are out at ten at night on a random weekday. No wonder my tutors thought I was a brilliant idiot.

You’re so fucked.

“Hey, are you alright?”

One of the guards waves a hand in front of your face to snap you out of your daze. While debating your options, you apparently failed to function like a normal person.

“Uh… yeah, sorry. I think I got lost.” You stumble on your words as a plan starts to form in your mind.

Alright, it’s time to pull out my trump card!

You might be a terrible liar, but you did have one talent that many others lacked: the ability to read people. As you fish inside your bag for a moment, you study the guards in front of you.

The guard on your left has a little rust on the trusty sword attached to their hip while the other has a small hole in the top of their left boot. These guards are noble and kind, but a little money can go a long way with guards who need some fresh equipment.

Besides, it’s not like you need the spare change. 

Calmly, you present two gold coins between your index and middle finger before putting your back aside.

“Perhaps I can compensate you for your troubles?” You tilt your head innocently as a warm smile spreads on your face.

The guards study you before turning to each other.

“Are those…?”

“Sure looks like it. I’m not going to complain.” The guard extends their hand, and you happily place a gold coin into their hand. “No shit, it really is a gold coin from the royal treasury.”

“How did you get these?” The other asks before receiving their coin.

“I know somebody who knows somebody.” You shrug before adjusting the mask on your face.

“Get going wherever you’re headed.” The guard on your left pulls the other guard out of your way before you slightly bow your head to them.

“Thank you!” You offer them a wave before continuing on your way.

Works like a charm.

~

You visibly relax once you’ve put enough distance between you and the guards that you bribed. After learning a rather expensive lesson, you decided to dodge through the back alleys of the city you adore. It’s nice to explore the city as a denizen rather than a royal. 

I certainly do not miss being gawked at.

You pause once you reach your destination - the Founder’s Square. It’s a beautiful place where each of the five Founders stand with their backs to each other. You find something admirable about each of them, although your lineage traces exclusively back to the youngest Founder. Then there’s the case of the five courts, who also trace their lineage back to one of the five Founders. 

Everything was fine when you were in charge, you think as you stare at your ancestor, why can’t we go back to those times?

The five courts were civil for the most part, barring any centuries-old feuds or current squabbles about this or that. This allowed you to make long-lasting connections in all of the courts.

(Well, almost all of them were long-lasting).

But there was something different in the air these days. People seemed uneasy, and some of the courts seemed antsy to bring up things that were long buried in the past.

And then there was the issue of your engagement. The matter was much simpler when you were set to be married to Ryujin. Funnily enough, this was the same place where she told you that she didn’t want to be queen.

So much for forever.

Now you were trying to figure out what to do next, after seven people asked your hand in marriage. Your parents had their favorites (not like they’d tell you, but you knew who they were), but you were honestly torn. The wrong choice could end any sort of chance of reconciliation between two courts, but you didn’t want to marry purely out of obligations.

“You look troubled.”

“Do I?” You ask solemnly. “I was just heading out, in case you need some alone time.”

“You were just the person I was looking for.”

The clink-ing of two glasses pulls your eyes away from the monument as you look back at the person behind you.

“I should’ve known.” You start to untie the mask that’s hiding your face. “It’s good to see you, Siyeon.”

She smiles, familiar, warm, and understanding.

“You too, Your Highness. Care for a drink?”

~

“This beer tastes like shit.” You attempt to choke it down before staring at the contents inside the bottle.

“Is it too cheap for your tastes?” Siyeon nudges your shoulder after you sit down next to her.

“Maybe.” You take another sip before wincing. “You like the taste of this?”

“You get used to it.” She falls silent as she admires the statues in front of her. “Do you think they argued like us?”

“According to myths and stories from the elders? Absolutely not. They were in perfect harmony, remember?” You mock one of your tutors that taught you some of the history of the Kingdom while also spinkling in personal biases and less-than-credible stories. 

“That old man was something, for sure.” Siyeon takes another swig of alcohol before . “I can’t believe he managed to discuss royal history and his favorite coffee blends in the same lecture.”

You laugh at the thought of your old tutor rambling about coffee after a long lecture on Founder’s Day, where the five Founders united the divided lands into one harmonious Kingdom.

“But what do you think?” Siyeon turns to you with an inquisitive look on her face. “Forget the biases of history books and lecturers.”

“I don’t think there’s any way to know,” You bring your hand up to pause Siyeon’s upcoming protests, “but everyone disagrees from time to time. Whatever they disagreed about is lost to history because we only ever know about their agreements.”

“Just the response I’d expect from a royal.” Siyeon says as you slightly cringe at the mention of the title. “It’s ingrained into your blood. I get it, I do.”

She offers you her spare hand, and you carefully look around for a moment.

“Relax, Your Highness. It’s just you and me here.” Siyeon locks eyes with you for a moment. “Are you afraid of the scandal, or are you afraid that this means something more than friendship?”

She smirks as you lightly push her away.

“Enough of that, will you? You shouldn’t tease…” You pause for a moment before grabbing her hand and pulling Siyeon closer to you. “Unless you mean what you say.”

“No wonder people trip over themselves when it comes to romancing you. You can be charming when you want to be.” Siyeon’s still trying to tease you, but the light blush on her face gives her away.

“So you’re serious about your proposal?” You lean in to close the distance between you two, but Siyeon doesn’t react. “Siyeon?”

You squeeze her hand, which finally causes her to focus on you.

“Sorry, I got distracted by you.”

You bite your lip to hide the embarrassment on your face as Siyeon scans your features. 

“If we cross this line, there’s no going back.” You whisper before Siyeon softly pecks your lips.

Stunned, you simply blink at her as she sets her bottle down before kissing your cheek.

“When have I ever given a shit about rules?” She pauses before placing another kiss on the other side of your face. “We can pretend that we’re just friends, but you and I both know the truth.”

You pull Siyeon in for a longer, more satisfying kiss before pushing yourself away from her. 

“If you want to be Queen, there’s a lot you have to do. Come to more court sessions, respond to my letters, and then we’ll talk.” You grab the empty bottle from beside you before standing up.

You only walk a bit ahead of Siyeon before she calls out to you.

“You know I won’t change that easily.”

“I’d never ask you to, as my friend,” You stare back at your ancestor before looking to Siyeon, “but my people need a dependable queen, and I need someone who I know will have my back. If you want this, you know where to find me.”

“You’re going to be a great ruler when you take the throne. I look forward to being by your side, no matter who you choose.” 

Her voice fades into the background as you start to walk back to the castle. As the moonlight illuminates your way, you realize that you have a lot of thinking to do.

Especially when it comes to romantic opportunities.

[panda-writes-kpop]

Hey hust saw your last post, and love it, do you by any chance like the TV show Supernatural? 😀😀

Hey anon! I'm glad you enjoyed my latest post. :)

I really like Supernatural! I've just started the fifth season after a small break due to exams and a busy school semester. I LOVE fantasy TV shows so Supernatural is right up my alley. I'm hoping I can watch a few more eps before my semester gets busy again. (Which may mean more supernatural fics in the future... 👀)

[panda-writes-kpop]

off to never, neverland ~ l. sy.

a/n: Four months late to the party, but I've finally written the Siyeon fic that I had in mind for her birthday! I'm so happy to wrap up the 2024 b-day fics for the DC member! :) To be honest, birthday fics stress me out because some of them are so close to each other and I usually end up going way over on Dami's fic and then I feel like the other members don't get the same love and care in their own fics, which makes me feel bad. :/ So my 2025 writing resolution is to be less strict about those things and just try to enjoy writing fics as they come to me! Okay, enough yapping, let's go to the fic.

tw: suggestive moments between reader and siyeon, but nothing really happens, blood and gore, someone consumes blood, based on some events in supernatural but they're really vague at times, kind of ooc! sua but dean also flies off the handle at times so I feel like it's not(?)

⚠️ THIS FIC MENTIONS SELF-HARM AND IMPLIED SUICIDE. Please do not continue if you are not in the headspace to read this fic! Consult this website (or this carrd) to find the suicide hotline in your country if you or a loved one needs to use it. You are cherished, loved, and wanted in this world, even if it feels like you aren't. I am always here to listen, no matter what. ❤️

summary: Siyeon finds herself trapped between her desire for more power, her hunger for you, and her bond with SuA. Siyeon can't stop SuA from hunting you down, just as she can't stop her feelings for you.

“Really, Siyeon? A demon?” 

Exasperated, SuA scans the room before her eyes land on the shotgun that lays by the door.

“It’s not what you think-” Siyeon starts before SuA shoves her aside. “What are you doing?”

“Putting an end to this shit.” She grabs the gun and tries to leave, but a hand on the door prevents her from leaving. “You can’t stop yourself, so I’m going to stop them for you.”

“With a shotgun full of salt? We both know that salt alone won’t stop a demon that strong-”

“Ah, you’re right,” A brilliant smile appears on SuA’s face as her free hand grabs an engraved knife from her back, “that’s why I’m bringing the knife.”

~

“Siyeon-ah!” You break away from her with a greedy smile on her face. “You’re forgetting the best part.”

From your belt, you gently retrieve the knife and place it in Siyeon’s hands.

“Go ahead. It’s all for you, anyway. We need you as strong as possible.”

Siyeon admires you, her eyes ravaging your body as you pull up your sleeve and present your bare arm to her.

“I shouldn’t do this. SuA and I could find another way to-”

You stop Siyeon by placing your hand under her chin and tilting her head upwards, which forces her to look in your eyes.

“Enough. You want my blood as much as you try to deny it. Take what’s yours, Siyeon.”

Siyeon, while looking you dead in the eyes, cuts your arm with a knife and begins to drink your blood.

~

Siyeon places her hand on the door of the Impala, which stops SuA in her tracks.

“Don’t do this. I need them.” Siyeon pleads.

“For what? Your own sick pleasure? Theirs?” SuA tries to pull the car door open, but it won’t budge. “Don’t fuck up my car, Siyeon.”

“It’s not about that… it’s about getting stronger.” Siyeon admits while hanging her head in shame.

“Strength comes from banishing demons, not dueling them. If I’m not saving you from them, then I’m saving you from yourself.” 

~

“We can’t keep doing this.” Siyeon wipes her mouth as you start to bandage the cut on your arm.

“That’s what you said last time.” You smile, as gently as a demon can. “We need you as strong as possible for what’s to come.”

“We?”

“We’re a team, aren’t we?” You take a seat next to her on the bed. “Or is that reserved for you and SuA alone?”

“Team is a generous word.” Siyeon starts to smile as you begin to pout. “It’s hard to believe that you are a demon when you act like that.”

“Oh, you know you’re into it.” You place your hand on hers before her fingers intertwine with yours. “It’s the demon blood in you, after all.”

~

“You’re driving too fast.” Siyeon holds the grab handle in the car with an iron grip. “Can you please slow down?”

“You didn’t have to come along.” SuA nearly sends the pedal to the floor as the Impala sails on the highway. 

Siyeon would be calmer if Enter Sandman wasn’t blasting on the radio, but she doesn’t want to test SuA’s patience any more than she already has today.

Her hand ghosts the radio, in an attempt to betray her better judgement, but a stare from SuA overrules any other thoughts.

“Are you sure that we’re headed to the right place? You’re not trying to fuck with me, right?” 

“It should be the motel a few miles down the road.” Siyeon pulls out her phone to double-check the location.

“Were you supposed to meet them there tonight?”

“...Maybe.”

~

“SuA will come after you.” Siyeon simply observes as you calmly walk around the hotel room.

“I know.”

“You’re not scared?”

“Demon hunters aren’t that scary to me.” You shrug off her concerns before grabbing your jacket. “Where will you be next week?”

“Who knows with SuA. She’s been weird since she, y’know, escaped hell for one reason or another.”

“It comes with the territory, I get it.” You close in on Siyeon, only to press a light kiss to her cheek.

Siyeon expectantly looks at you before pulling you on top of her.

“Nothing more?”

“I thought you had plenty of me tonight.” You play with her hair as her hands wrap around your abdomen. “Let SuA come after me. I’ll find another body to possess, and we’ll find each other again.”

“You sure?”

You grin before leaning in for a kiss.

“Absolutely.”

~

The sound of static plays on the TV as you pull a knife from your pocket. Given your years of swindling humans and demons alike, you should’ve had a better plan. 

Siyeon would just have to forgive you for leaving so soon. 

It wouldn’t take you too long to find another body, but that was dependent on your hope that the upper-echelon demons weren’t too mad at your demon hunter shenanigans. You had the same goal, after all. Working alone was just your style, rather than invading the world with your demon brethren.

You gently place the knife against your flesh before pressing it in. There’s something satisfying about the way the blood oozes from the wound.

Another human body gone to waste. What a shame.

~

“If I find out that you’ve lied to me, I’m leaving you on the side of the road and I’m never coming back.” SuA slams the driver’s side door shut before walking towards the trunk.

Siyeon puts her hands above her head as an easy smile illuminates her face.

“Have I ever lied to you?”

“Plenty of times.” SuA opens the trunk before grabbing one of the shotguns. “I can do this alone, you know.”

“We work better as a pair, so I’m going with you. No matter what demon or spirit awaits us.”

“You’re too fucking sentimental for this job.” SuA lets one smile, small and fleeting, out. 

She tosses the gun to Siyeon before grabbing the engraved knife from her pocket.

“Can’t believe this little thing is a demon killer.” SuA admires the knife for a moment before pointing it at Siyeon. “How about someone with demon blood?” “Very funny.” Siyeon sighs before pointing at one of the motel rooms. “It’s that one, right there.”

“Really? Number 066? Do demons get any more predictable?”

~

“You demons aren’t trustworthy.” Siyeon folds her arms and looks away from you. 

“What about the times that I saved you?”

“It was just for your own self-gain. You’re no different than the demons we’ve met before.”

“Must you judge demons so harshly?” You tilt your head at Siyeon. “Is it some form of self-loathing, given your history?”

Fear flashes in your eyes as Siyeon pushes you against a hold and holds a knife, the demon-killer knife, against your throat.

“Say it again. To my face, this time.”

You let out a shaky breath as she stares you down - she looks more like a demon than you do.

“I’m not suggesting anything bad. I just think you could benefit from a bit of guidance and help.”

“Help?” Siyeon laughs heartily. “How could you possibly help me?”

“I can help you get stronger. Those demons you’ve been facing - they’ll only get stronger as time goes on.” You grimace as Siyeon presses the knife further into your skin. “Pure demon blood will make you stronger. I can give you that and so much more.”

“Demon blood? Like some kind of ritual?” Siyeon thinks for a moment before pulling the knife away from you. “You’re not tricking me, are you?”

“I’m not lying about this, I swear. The more demon blood you consume, the stronger you’ll be. No games, no deceiving, no deals. I just need one thing from you.” 

You let out a breath of relief as Siyeon lets you go.

“What do you need?”

“When I need you, whenever that is, you’ll be there. No matter what.”

~

Siyeon quickly checks her phone as SuA inspects the door in front of her.

I’ll have a different body after tonight. Don’t come looking for me - I’ll find you instead. Keep SuA off my trail for a while, okay? That’s all I need from you.

She pauses before reading the next text.

And stop moping. We’ll only be apart for a little bit, I swear.

“SuA, wait-” Siyeon tries to call out to SuA, but she’s already thrown the door open.

“What the fuck.” SuA looks back after Siyeon successfully hides her phone in her pocket. “You don’t… need to see this. There’s so much blood everywhere.”

She takes a deep breath before shutting the door behind her.

“Wait, let me in!” Siyeon tries to open the door, but SuA has locked the door already.

Although she can’t see anything inside the room, except for the one window facing towards the road. The curtain is open, revealing part of the bloody scene to Siyeon.

The gore isn’t unfamiliar, but the message written in blood on the opposite wall is.

Claim what’s yours, Siyeon.

And, for some reason, while staring at the carnage in front of her, a different kind of hunger stirs inside Siyeon.

Something deep and primal that shifts her thoughts into a different headspace - one that disregards SuA’s warning.

You had always warned her to take what’s hers, right? And to waste all of this blood… it’d simply be a shame.

[panda-writes-kpop]

I'll give it to someone special ~ k. mj.

a/n: Merry Christmas to all who celebrate! I wanted to have this fic out earlier but I was recovering from a nasty sinus infection the last few days that managed to travel into my lungs and give me a chest cold 🫠 it's all good though, this is the best I've felt in about a week so I'll take it. KATIE'S COMEBACK IS HERE EVERYONE RAHHH

tw: lots of food mentions, winter kind of breaks into your apartment?, mixed bag with angst and fluff so take it as you will, writing might be a bit rough around the edges since it's been three months

summary: the icy weather reminds me of your unstable "relationship" with Winter as you prepare for a Christmas party with friends. Little did you know that a late night visitor would settle your worries about Winter once and for all.

♡ Masterlist ♡

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart…

You hum to yourself as you pull the Christmas cookies from your oven. The scent of pure sugary goodness, mixed with the gingerbread candle on your countertop, is enough to make you drool.

You usually weren’t this festive when it came to Christmas. With finals season being intertwined with the holiday, it was hard to be excited about Christmas when you’re trying to not cry over an exam. Throw a few retail shifts, and you quickly grow tired of the Christmas season.

But this year… something was different. You managed to get through finals season in one piece, and your place of work decided to shuffle some non-Christmas music into their season mix. 

…You still didn’t like All I Want for Christmas is You.

The lights on your Christmas tree seemed to shine brighter, illuminating the main showstoppers - the ornaments on your tree. One in particular catches your eye as you set the cookie tray down on two potholders. 

It’s a simple glass bulb in your favorite color with your name engraved in cursive letters. You remember finding it on the window sill outside of your apartment last year.

A light knock on your window makes you nearly jump out of your skin as you look up from your computer. You grumble because you were finally starting to get into the groove of studying, and your final was in two days - couldn’t this wait?

You tilt your head as you notice a small box on your window sill. Cautiously, you stand up and head towards the window as you inspect the box. 

It has small red and green shapes all over the box - definitely from a Christmas store, but who could have gotten something like this for you?

With a barely audible click, you open your window and grab the unexpected present, hoping that bombs don’t come in abnormally small packages.

As carefully as you can, you open the box to reveal an ornament inside.

Sugar cookies weren’t the most demanding treat to make, but they were a smash hit with your foodie friends. Add in some snickerdoodle cookies, your grandma’s famous chocolate chip cookies, some homemade rock candy, and a few other goodies, and you were a necessary addition to many of your friends’ Christmas parties.

This year, to save yourself the hassle (and a few broken cookies from the trip), you decided to host an intimate gathering with a few of your friends. Sure, your apartment wasn’t the biggest place, but you’d only have three guests.

Four, if you can count on a special someone coming your way.

With 48 hours to go, and plenty of baking to do, some late night baking was necessary to get everything done in time. As you watch the sun set (much earlier than it should), your mind wanders back to the ornament on your tree.

I know you bought that ornament for me. Minjeong.

~

Your phone buzzes as you concentrate on creating the perfect carrot nose for one of the sugar cookies. You don’t break concentration until it buzzes again, which makes you give your snowman an orange tongue that’s somehow connected to his stubby nose.

“Sorry, bud, we can’t all be perfect…” You mutter to yourself before setting the frosting down and picking up your phone.

You don’t recognize the phone number, but the text messages seem oddly familiar.

On my way! Don’t stay up late for me. <3

It’s already past 9 o’clock, and you’re only done with a small portion of the sweet treats you have to make, so it’s probably going to be a late night anyway… and you were terrible at listening to others.

Maybe that’s why the two of you never worked out?

There was something sweet in rebellion, besides the wonderland of baked goods that sat in your kitchen. You never were a rebellious teen, for one reason or another, so you liked to do rebellious things like stay up late, order junk food, and binge watch TV until three in the mornings.

…There’s a reason why Giselle calls you and Karina the losers of your friend group.

“C’mon, go drinking with us!” Giselle throws her arm around your shoulder, completely ignoring the way Winter tenses up at the action. “It’s no fun to eat take-out alone and rewatch the same show again and again.”

You feel the need to defend yourself as Winter’s piercing eyes meet yours for a minute before she looks away. The frown on her face neutralizes into a more aloof expression as you study her further.

“For the record, I don’t rewatch shows that often.” You say as Ningning narrows her eyes at you.

“What are you watching right now?”

“Okay, that’s besides the point!” You fold your arms after teasingly brushing Giselle’s arm off your shoulder. 

“One night can’t hurt, right?” Giselle elbows your arm before continuing to march down the street. “First round’s on me!”

You sigh while choosing to pinch the bridge of your nose instead of trying to fight against your friends’ plans. They had good intentions, trying to bring you out of your comfort zone, but you’d much rather cut this meeting short. Partially because you want to go home, and partially because Karina’s absence made the tension between you and Winter so much more palpable.

~

The small timer next to your oven happily dings as you finally shut the oven off for the night. Although you weren’t completely done, at least everything that needed to be baked was baked tonight. You could frost and assemble everything in the morning, after you had a bit of sleep and a break from the repetitive Christmas music coming from your music speakers. 

You quickly turn the dial back to zero on the timer before pulling the last round of cookies from your oven. With the sickening sweet smell of chocolate chips invading your nose, you set the cookies aside as you glance around your kitchen.

I just need to let these cookies cool, do a few dishes, and then box everything up so the gnats stay out of my sweets.

Checking the time, your shoulders slump as you notice that it’s two-thirty in the morning - where did the time go?

Good thing you don’t have work early tomorrow; otherwise, you’d probably call off. 

Winter would scold me for doing that.

You chuckle at the thought - Minjeong would scold you for calling her Winter, saying it was “too formal for our relationship”.

Our relationship? What relationship could she be talking about?

Winter was your friend, just as Ningning, Giselle, and Karina were, but you two often stretched the definition of the word “friend” to its limits.

“Winter-” Your back meets the wall as Winter places two hands on either side of your head, forcing you to look in her eyes.

“I want you.” Her posture seems harsh, but her voice softens as one of her hands leaves the wall to caress your face.

She’s giving you an out - you could slip out of this situation if you wanted to. You could rejoin the party like nothing happened.

But you can’t pretend like nothing happened. Not when you’re with her.

“I want you too.” Breathless, a shaky hand beyond the control of your rational thoughts reaches out and pulls Winter closer to you.

With her face so close to yours, you press your lips against hers.

Yet words like situationship and friends-with-benefits seem too… distant for the two of you. They imply a lack of connection and romance, which definitely doesn’t seem to describe the two of you.

Unless buying flowers and intimate gifts for each other could just be seen as a friendly gesture.

“I bought you these.” You present the bundle of flowers to Minjeong, as if you were a nervous pre-teen who was trying to impress your crush.

“Oh… thanks.” Her hands ghost over yours as you pass the bouquet to her. 

The lack of emotion on her face causes you to panic as you grab one of her wrists.

“If you don’t like them, I can always return them, or get some different flowers-”

“They’re lovely,” Winter interrupts you, “but I didn’t think we were close enough for gifts.”

You fake a warm, innocent smile as your brittle heart starts to crack under your false expectations of Winter.

Icy memories aside, it was time to let your mind and body rest as you made sure that the oven was turned off and the cookies were correctly sealed away-

Tap! Tap!

Luckily, nothing was in your hands as you jumped at the sound of something tapping against your window.

“Damn bird,” You mutter under your breath, “I’m going to murder Karina for feeding you.”

With the fluffiest slippers, and in your finest Christmas pajamas, you stomp through your living room to handle the avian problem that’s still tapping on your window.

When you approach the window, your birdy frenemy is missing from the window; instead, a familiar face stares back at you.

Against your better judgement, you throw the window open and offer her your hand.

“Winter? How the fuck-” You pause as she takes your hand and tries to crawl into your apartment.

“Don’t ask.” Her voice is raspy from the cold as she manages to enter your apartment. “Why did you get a third-story apartment?”

“Why did you climb up to my third-story apartment?” You stare at her, dumfounded, as Winter carefully closes the window behind her.

She freezes before turning around and shrugging her shoulders.

“I missed you?”

You pause before laughing to yourself.

“You could’ve called, Minjeong! That’s what normal people do!” You gently scold her as she rubs her arms to stay warm.

“I sent a text your way. Did you get it?” 

“Ah, so that’s who sent me that message.” A tiny smile appears on your lips as she lets out a small breath of relief.

“You’re not mad?”

“At you? Never.” You smile before suddenly becoming aware of the state of your apartment. “Sorry, this place is a mess. I’ve been baking all day, and I didn’t have any time to clean.”

“No, don’t worry. I’ll help you clean up before the party.” Winter casually brushes by you to grab a pillow from your couch as you stare at her in disbelief.

“Minjeong, do you know what time it is? Scratch that, do you know what day it is?”

“Yeah, it’s the 25th - Merry Christmas, by the way - and the party’s in about twelve hours. I thought I’d help you clean up before everyone else came.”

You fold your arms as a small smile appears on your face.

“It’s the 24th.”

She stops fluffing up the pillow and turns her head towards you.

“Really?” Winter tilts her head, confused for a moment, before continuing her task. “Well, that gives me more time to help you.”

“You can’t be serious!” You follow her every movement as she appears to gracefully dance around your couch and guide your decorations back into their rightful places. “You need to sleep, as do I.”

“I’ll sleep when I’m ready to.” She brushes you off again as you feel your frustration beginning to build.

“What compelled you to see me at this hour?”

“I told you that I missed you.” With that same unreadable expression, she gently sets a Christmas teddy bear against your Christmas tree. “Isn’t that enough?”

“It’s enough when your actions match your words, Winter.” The words slip out of your mouth, callous and cold and completely unlike you.

Her expression sours as she looks at you.

“What did you say?” 

You shyly look away as your frustration melts under her scrutinizing gaze. You were never good at standing up for yourself in front of her, but how could you let your heart fracture again and again as you dance in this endless “will-you-won’t-you” limbo with her?

“I’m tired of doing this with you. We flirt and tease and kiss but it never leads anywhere.” 

It feels good to let your frustrations out, as you’re usually letting yourself melt into her embrace every time you’ve thought this in your head before. Although you’re not opposed to the night ending that way, you want to hear her say something first.

“Ah, so that’s what you meant.” Winter slowly walks towards you, but stops a few inches short of your reach. 

She offers you her hand, an olive branch that you’re not familiar with, but you don’t take it right away.

“I want to hear you say it.” Your voice softens as you stare into her eyes.

“That I love you? I thought that was obvious - did the gifts not express my love for you? Do you want me to show you that I love you in a different way?”

“I just want to be yours, Minjeong. Sure, I’m affectionate and friendly with the other girls, but I’ve never wanted to be with anyone else since I met you. I’ll do whatever it takes. I just can’t keep doing… whatever this is anymore.” You pause to take a shaky breath. “I love you.”

You gently take her hand, which she immediately brings to her lips.

“I.” She presses a kiss to your hand before gently pulling you forward.

Her other hand cups your face as her lips meet your cheek. 

“Love.”

Her hand leaves your hand and lands on your waist instead.

“You.”

Her lips meet yours, and you don’t hesitate to kiss her back.

The taste of sweet liquor, dangerous and fruity and addictive, hits your tongue as you attempt to memorize her taste for good.

It feels like every time I kiss her will be the last - isn’t that sad?

When you break away from her, you’re left breathless as a small smirk appears on her face.

“Is that enough to convince you that I love you?”

“Yup.” You sigh, completely and utterly lost in her world.

She could tell you sweet little lies, honey-coated false promises, and you’d believe every word. 

She was the gospel, and you were the truest believer.

“I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel like you’re not important. I know you’re busy with university, so I always thought that you wanted to wait. I never, ever met to push you away.” Winter’s hand leaves your face and intertwines with yours.

“I… should apologize too, for not expressing myself earlier.” You squeeze her hand in reassurance. “And thank you for leaving me that ornament a year ago.”

“You knew it was me?” Winter looks bewildered as you try to hide your laughter. 

“Of course I did - who else would do something like that for me?”

“I-” She pauses before shaking her head. “Of course you did. You’re much smarter than anyone gives you credit for.”

“Ah, stop, you’re making me flustered!” You playfully push her away before her hands reach out to grab you again.

“C’mon, don’t tease me like this.” She nearly begs as she glances at a picture on a nearby shelf. “Otherwise I won’t take you on a date this Sunday~”

“Wait a minute,” You immediately grab onto her arm, “you’re serious?”

“I am. We have to make it official, after all.”

You give Minjeong the biggest smile before wrapping your arms around her torso.

“Thank you for everything. I’m glad you stopped by today, even if you didn’t come through the door.”

“You’re not going to tell the others about that, are you?” She looks concerned as you impishly laugh. 

“Oh, you know I will.” You gently tap her nose before pulling her in for another kiss.

[panda-writes-kpop]

heyyyyy folks, it's been a while (over 3 months but who was counting... 🤷‍♀️). the last three months have been INSANE, i've never written so many papers or done so many essays or completed so many assignments 🫠 and that's just the school part of it - i also work part time at a local grocery store and I interned for two days a week at a local health department 😌 so to say I've been busy would be an understatement, to say the least 😭

life's also been pretty stressful on top of everything else - i've had a grandparent in and out of the hospital and care facilities over the past three months. there's a pretty good chance that he will spend the rest of his life in a nursing home/hospice, depending on if he needs end of life care or not. it sucks, and i really don't know what else to say 😕

add on a nice topping of ✨️post us election dread✨️ and i hit my breaking point about a month ago. i love writing from the bottom of my heart, but i needed to take care of me first 🫶 so i took some time to relax, finished the blue lions route in fe3h, and almost finished watching s4 of supernatural 💙 don't worry - i'm in a better place now that school is over, and i have time to destress.

which brings me back to my writing. I did start writing a Christmas fic featuring one of the aespa members that I'm hoping to get out before Christmas, but I'll be happy if it comes out before 2025 😌 plus I need to do siyeon's birthday fic for this year, so I'm all caught up with them 💖 then it's time to work on requests before I go back to school in the middle of January 😭 I've given up on a schedule at this point, my life is so hectic at the moment so I cannot make any promises to y'all but i'll try to post as much as i can 🫶

but thank you for sticking around, if you're still following me after these three months 🫶 i promise there will be good things to come in the new year, once i get my shit together and life stops throwing endless curveballs at me.

I hope you all have a happy holiday season with your friends or family!! Eat good food and take care of yourself - it's easy to stress yourself out this time of year. Finals are over for us college folks, and it's time to relax and enjoy our loved ones (and the food!!) If you don't have anyone to spend the holidays with, I wish you nothing but happiness and love for the holiday season! 💜

much love and many, many thanks for a wonderful 2024 on tumblr,

panda/katie 🩷

[panda-writes-kpop]

I'll only stay with you one more night ~ j. hjn.

a/n: two weeks between posts will probably become the new normal as I struggle through this semester 😭 don't worry, school's going fine, I'm just busy as hell right now with work, school, and familial obligations. So don't worry if there's a week or two between uploads, I'm totally fine!! 🫶

tw: a bit pg-13 with some of the description (my bad yall, i just want to make out with jeon heejin y'know), mention of booze, reader is a romantic yet a bit depressed but we love them for it ❤️

summary: a precarious dance between you and heejin threatens to end as she lures you into her thralls yet again, but you won't break this new normal between the two of you. neither will she, so you're stuck in this limbo of 'not-quite-friends-but-not-quite-lovers'.

♡ Masterlist ♡

“You shouldn’t be here.”

Jeon Heejin eyes you, warily, as you approach her in the kitchen.

“You thought parties weren’t my… thing?” She draws out the last word, inviting a rebuttal from you.

You’re too smart to take the obvious bait, but too stupid to leave the conversation alone in its entirety.

“Didn’t think you were one to shoot vodka straight.” You gesture to the red solo cup in her hand - you’re a foot away from her, but you can practically taste the liquor in the air.

The smell makes you wish that you had drank something before starting this conversation. It’d help you feel less bad about what happens afterward.

“Maybe I like the way it tastes.” She teases before lifting the cup to her lips.

You’d almost believe her, if you didn’t know her so well, but the ghastly grimace on her face gives away her true thoughts about the drink.

Heejin scowls at the nickname - a long standing tradition between the two of you. You’d call her a role model or a perfect princess, and she’d respond by calling you a jackass or rolling her eyes at you.

“No person drinks vodka because they like the taste. What’s on your mind, Little Miss Perfect?”

Two people, perfectly molded to be each other’s opposite.

So why are you here, at this party, with her of all people?

“Would you believe me if I told you?”

“No,” Your response falls from your lips, immediately, and a teasing grin appears on your face, “but I’m willing to hear you out anyway.”

“You’re a liar.”

“It’s my charm, really.” You shrug before leaning against the fridge. “Are you in the mood for confessions or not?”

“Well…” She trails off, an unreadable expression on her face.

She leans against the counter after setting her drink aside. Her shirt lifts up, perfectly showing her well-defined body.

Why does she play this game with you, again and again? You’re both losers in the end.

Heejin is a perfect calamity of a woman - her eyes a whirlwind of emotions, a smile that is genuine but never quite reaches her eyes, her gestures as icy as they are warming.

You can’t tell if you want to slap or kiss that shit-eating grin off of her face.

And, based on your previous encounters with her, it’s most definitely going to be the latter option.

“Like what you see?” She winks at you before grabbing her drink again.

Her eyes study you, just as she studies her materials in class. Brutally methodical, looking for any errors or opportunities to pounce on.

She wants to lure you into her trap, into her clutches - you wanted her first, right?

“Fuck you.” The words would sound malicious coming from anyone else, but they’re oddly playful from your lips.

“You told me you wanted to know what’s on my mind…” Heejin strolls towards you with an unmistakable amount of confidence, the type that comes with experience.

She’s got you right where she wants you - as she does every time.

When she lands right in front of you, one of her hands lands on your abdomen. Heejin leans in close, close enough for only the two of you to hear.

“You. I’ve only had you on my mind, and it’s ruining my day.”

She leans back, a playful pout on her face.

A lioness with her prey in her claws - so much for her façade of innocence.

You should resist, push her hand away and let yourself get some air. Maybe it’s the booze in her breath that’s making you drunk, or maybe you’re just drunk on her.

Either way, that fleeting thought of rationality doesn’t seem to stop you from chasing Heejin’s lips as you kiss her with the pent-up frustration of her teasing.

Her hand leaves your chest as you place your hands on your lips - if you’re letting this happen, you may as well be in control of your actions.

You know you want this, as does she. You’re both just scared of the after.

The eternal after, the words you two should tell each other.

I love you. I miss you. I want you. I need you.

But you’re stuck in this charade, this mess where you push and pull against each other, hoping one will give before the other does. 

Heejin’s too prideful, and you’re too resistant to the idea of “us”.

But you’re both content, especially as she pulls at your shirt for more as her lips continue to meet yours.

Why should you deny her of you, of the things that make you both content?

Maybe next time will be different.

It won’t be. 

You know this.

She knows this.

Yet you’re still kissing her, and she’s still kissing you.

Forever in limbo.

Forever two souls together, but not quite intertwined.

[panda-writes-kpop]

Hello! I was just wondering if you were going to make the Dreamcatcher story ‘Letters to You’ a series? Or if not, will you be doing anything further with the story? I’ve re-read it a bunch of times, I love it and it’s super cute!

Hi anon! Sorry for not responding for so long, I was so busy with work and trying to finish the Pirate! Aespa fics that this ask got away from me. Then university started along with my internship, so now I'm super busy and trying to cram studying/homework into my spare moments. Again, it's totally my bad, and I feel terrible for not responding earlier. 🫠

As for your ask, it's hard to explain why I won't continue with the mainline story (for now). The Letters To You fic is based on this huge royal fantasy AU I made that would span multiple groups and posts. I've done other larger AUs, like Take Me Away and that buried Marvel AU that truly isn't that good lol (I'm sorry if you love those fics but I know they aren't my best works). But somehow, this AU went from being a 20k-30k project to, with an honest projection, over 100k works. Then I wanted to have branching stories with other characters, and that would've been even more work from me. It's not that I'm lazy, but I'm a busy, broke college student who needs to work so I can eat when I'm on campus 😭 (tldr for this paragraph - it's a large project with a lot of moving pieces that i don't have the time or energy to work on at the moment)

I am so, so happy that you enjoyed the scraps that I threw out there, though. That fic is honestly a deep-cut in my backlog of fics, despite not being that old. I put a lot of love and effort into developing those letters/characters, and I'm glad you loved them 🫶

HOWEVER, I like to honor my reader's asks when they ask about fics. I would love to start working on the letters to you universe in smaller chunks, but I want to make more progress on my dami series (to the five people who still keep up with seomjit ~ hypnosis, I'm aiming for an October chapter because it's the spooky month for a spooky series 😌) so I'm not opposed to re-opening letters to you in the future. I think I need to do a serious overhaul of my notes for this AU so I can try to scale it down a bit into a more manageable project that can be worked on, bit-by-bit.

For the sake of actually honoring your request, if you'd like, anon, you can send me a dm or another ask with your bias in dreamcatcher, and I'll whip up something special for you based on the ideas/notes that I have for the series. ❤️ I can't promise that this fic will be totally canon in relation to future fics, but it'll be something special for you.

Again, thank you for this ask! I want to emphasize, as I do every time I receive an ask about a fic that's been long-forgotten, that if there's a fic you want to know about, just send in an ask! I always honor requests to the best of my ability and comfort.

[panda-writes-kpop]

twin flames ~ yours is bright, mine is smoldering - ng. y.

a/n: apologies for the thirteen day wait between the two fics - within that time, I got obsessed with and then finished one route of Fire Emblem: Three Houses (golden deer house my beloved), got sick and had to call off one day of work, had a family member experience a medical emergency, and then had to prepare for another college semester and an internship as well. I'm... tired to say the least. gonna take a few days to mentally regroup and then I'll get to requests and anon asks, I swear. ❤️ also last pirate! aespa fic wooo!! loved writing these four fics so much 🥹

tw: mentions of alcohol, violence, and weapons, but reader doesn't partakes in anything, reader is bad at their job but it's kind of charming, reader's a jailor but one that's actually doing their job of reforming their prisoners

related fics: Oh Captain, My Captain, Second Chances, your home is the sea, my home is you

summary: ningning, the famed mercenary, is caught by winter's pirate crew after a botched attempt on winter's life. after she's caught, she's your prisoner - and you're nothing like she expects.

♡ Masterlist ♡

“Bombs away!”

The sound of revelry, fighting, and pirating comes from the upper deck as you sit, alone, in one of the lower deck cabins. You sigh, fidgeting with the key in your hands, as you admire the empty jail cell across from you.

Being the ship’s only jailor could be considered a lonely, miserable job, but you didn’t see it that way. It wasn’t like you weren’t a fan of your fellow crewmates, but combat was not your strong suit; therefore, your Captain, Winter, had found a suitable job for you.

“I need someone to watch any captives that we take.” She explained as she took you to the lower deck, where the holding cell was.

“And you want me to do this? What if I have to physically restrain them, or if they try to escape-”

“-they’ll be disarmed before they get to you, I’ll make sure of it.” Winter reassures you with a hand on your shoulder. “You belong here, just as much as the rest of my crew. I want to make sure that my crewmates are in suitable positions for their talents. If this doesn’t work out for you, then we’ll look at other options.”

You scoff at the memory, as if any of Winter’s other options were any better - scrubbing the decks and scrounging dinner from food scraps weren’t jobs that you were keen to take.

She was right, however, this position suited you, oddly enough. Most of the prisoners, if you could call them that, weren’t particularly violent. They were resigned to their fates, and you often found yourself trading stories with them once they realized you wouldn’t rip their tongue out for looking at you the wrong way.

Cruelty wasn’t your style, anyway. It might be the way of the pirates, or your Captain at times, but it didn’t have to consume you as it did to some of your other crewmates. Sure, Winter course-corrected when they went too far, but those occasions were few and far between.

Somehow, through meaningless chatter, you managed to convince a few prisoners to join your crew - with your Captain’s permission, of course.

“I knew you were made for this,” Winter offers you a proud smile, “and I knew my plan would work. It was never simply about holding them in a cell, after all.”

“I’m not just a jailer to you, am I?”

“Not in the slightest.”

Nothing would prepare you for the woman who would be carried through your door on this night, after the fighting above you had ceased.

~

“Let me… go!” Ningning weakly cries out as a pirate holds both of her arms behind her back.

She struggles against their iron grip, but they don’t even budge as another pirate ties her hands together with a spare piece of rope.

Think, Ningning, you’ve been in worse binds than this. How can I make it out of this in one piece?

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite rogue mercenary!” Winter says with a bit too much cheerfulness in her voice.

“Minjeong.” Ningning growls as she stares at a plank on the main deck.

I will not give her the satisfaction of seeing me beaten and bruised, within her clutches.

“No one calls me that, not anymore.” Winter shakes her head as she approaches Ningning from the captain’s quarters. “How much did your guild pay you for my head?”

Ningning stays quiet as Winter places her hand on the mercenary’s cheek.

“Don’t touch me!” She yells and thrashes around, but it’s no use.

That pirate must be inhuman, to resist someone of my strength and fighting prowess!

When she tires herself out, Winter roughly grabs Ningning’s chin and forces her to look her in the eyes.

“You’ll talk soon enough, believe me.” Winter smirks to herself. “Take her downstairs to see my friend.”

“You won’t get anything out of me!” Ningning yells as she’s carried away. “I’d rather die than give away my secrets!”

“Death is the easy way out, Yizhuo.” Winter chuckles as Ningning shivers at the mention of her name. “What? You’re not the only one who’s done a bit of digging.”

“I will have your head one day, I swear!” Ningning screams before she’s dragged down to the lower deck.

To meet my torturer, of course.

~

You find yourself nearly falling asleep as a loud knock on your door brings you back to the world of the conscious.

“What is it?” You mumble as you rub the sleep out of your eyes.

“We have a prisoner!”

“Fuck.” You grumble as you quickly open and clean the cell in front of you. “You may enter!”

You nervously stand by the door as two of your crewmates enter with a black-haired woman in their grip. Her hands are tied behind her back, but they’re still holding on to her for dear life.

She must be an assassin or a mercenary of some sort. The crafty type, by the look of her.

The woman looks you in the eyes for a moment, trying to read your emotions and intentions in one go.

Good luck with that.

“You…” She mumbles as the two pirates set her in the cell and close the door behind her.

“Yes, me, that’s who you’re stuck with.” You crack a small joke as you lock the cell door from the outside.

“I could kill you.”

“Let’s hope you don’t, huh?” You smile as the key slips into your pocket. “Oh, and don’t try to escape, this cell was built by our genius Captain.”

“Genius?” The mercenary looks astounded. “She’s a liar, a thief, a murderer-”

“-Everyone’s done those first two things once in their lives, and Winter, to my knowledge, has not murdered anyone that hasn’t tried to kill her first.” You feel the need to defend your Captain, as she would fiercely defend her crew without hesitation. 

The mercenary pauses as an argument dies on her lips – she’d be a hypocrite to argue any further, as someone who has done quite a bit of lying, thieving, and murdering.

As the two of you talk, the two pirates quietly exit the room. You find yourself enjoying the comfortable silence as you look back to your dinner. It hadn’t struck your fancy, especially since the ebb and flow of the ocean waves made you a little nauseous, so you decide to extend an olive branch to the imprisoned woman in front of you.

“Here, take this. It’ll be a long night for the both of us.” You hand her the plate along with a wooden fork and knife (one that couldn’t be used as a lockpick, you and Winter had both tried and failed).

She lets out a dry laugh as she grabs the bars of her cell.

“Why would you do this? Why would you offer me food when I just tried to kill your captain?”

You stand, unwavering, with the same brilliant smile as always.

“Everyone deserves kindness.”

~

Everyone deserves kindness.

Ningning was scared of you. When she looked you in the eyes, she didn’t see the hatred, anger, or disdain that most people held for mercenaries like her; instead, she saw empathy and the smallest shred of curiosity in your eyes.

Curiosity about a killer? Seems ironic.

That curiosity is what gets you killed in her line of work. You stick to what you know, and you get the job done.

Well, curiosity wouldn’t hurt her when she was already in prison, so she decided to indulge her curiosities for one night.

One night to stay here and plan my escape.

What intrigued Ningning the most about you was your behavior as a jailer. You weren’t trying to physically torture her with knives or water, as she was used to, nor were you trying to push her to mental collapse with starvation or a lack of proper rest. 

You, instead, were the least intimidating person she had ever met as you peacefully slept on your cot. She could’ve easily, if she had her knife and a hair pin, picked the lock, sliced your throat open, and then went on her merry way.

But you had the smallest bit of trust in her, enough to give her food when you had just met.

What is wrong with you?

She asks herself about you, as well as her own thoughts.

~

You chuckle as you spot the girl peacefully sleeping on the floor of the cell.

I’d offer her my bed if I was more sure that she wouldn’t kill me.

After a quick midnight nap, you had awoken to your hunger and the curious sight of a sleeping mercenary in front of you.

As to not disturb her, you carefully crawl out of your cot so as to not make a noise. Your feet gently brush against the ground before you fully commit and plant both of your feet down.

A small creak rings out in your cabin, but the mercenary shows no sign of waking up soon.

Good. She’ll need her rest if she’s not used to the sea life.

Someone knocks on your door once, pauses, then knocks three more times in succession.

A light smile appears on your face as you recognize the knocking pattern - a secret code for a friend who liked to visit you on occasion.

One knock, a pause, followed by three more knocks meant “Hello, may I come in?”

You respond with two quick knocks, a pause, then three more knocks: “Yes, you may, but I’m busy tonight.”

One knock. 

“You sure?”

You knock back.

“I’m sure as shit.”

You open the door to see Giselle grinning back at you.

“You remembered the code.” 

She looks pleased as you make room for her to enter.

“How could I forget? I helped you make it, after all.”

Giselle carefully observes the sleeping prisoner before softly chuckling.

“Hard to believe that this is the same girl that tried to kill Winter earlier.”

“I don’t think they are the same girl.” You quietly say as Giselle leans in to get a closer look at her.

“You think she’s putting on a mask?”

“It’s a hunch, really. You’d have to, in her kind of business.” You explain as Giselle nods along.

“Well, if anyone can get her to come around, it’s you.” Giselle presents you with a bundle of papers. “Here - it’s Winter’s research on the girl. Turns out that she’s been looking for Ningning for a long while. I just don’t see the merit in recruiting a girl who would happily remove your head from the rest of your body.”

“Winter’s mind works in mysterious ways.” You take the bundle of papers and set them on your cot.

A bit of night reading couldn’t hurt, I guess.

“I’ll drink to that.” Giselle shrugs before looking at the door. “I just finished polishing all of the weapons, and there’s a nice bottle of whiskey waiting for me in the my cabin-”

“-I’m alright, Giselle, but thank you.” You decline her invitation, but she doesn’t look surprised.

“A pirate who doesn’t drink, shoot a gun, or participate in any schemes. They should write a novel to dissect you because I certainly don’t understand you.”

You let out a hearty laugh before Giselle leaves you alone for the night.

“Be careful!” She says before closing the door.

“I will, I promise.”

~

“You’re strange.” Ningning comments as you stare out of the only window in the room. “What kind of pirate doesn’t carry a gun?”

“What kind of mercenary doesn’t know how to escape a jail cell without any help?” A teasing smile plays on your face as Ningning physically recoils.

Ouch.

“Shit, I didn’t mean it like that, I swear!” Your panic causes you to grab the bar cells in front of Ningning. “I’m sorry, I’m not very good at this… jailer thing.”

“I can tell.” Ningning dryly says. “Why does Winter trust you with this job? Did you pay her off?”

You have to repress a snort as you hide your smile with one of your hands, as the other continues to hold onto one of the bar cells.

“There’s no amount of money that could make her change her mind. It’d take divine intervention for that to happen.”

I remember Winter being like that when she was younger.

Ningning softly smiles.

“I remember her being like that in her youth.”

Your mouth hangs agape as you take in her words.

Did they not know? I thought it was in that bundle of papers that appeared two nights ago.

“I thought she told you-” Ningning gestures to the papers behind you, but you shake your head as you close your mouth.

“I didn’t want to read anything about you - I want to hear it directly from your lips.”

Something stirs with Ningning - compassion and camaraderie, perhaps?

You think differently than I do - interesting.

“I still think you’re strange - your behavior and your way of thinking.” Ningning repeats her earlier statement, desperate to get the conversation away from the secrets of her past.

“I suppose I’ll never change your mind, then?” You tilt your head at her.

The rare smile on Ningning’s face only grows bigger.

“Never.”

~

“Come on, up you go.”

It’s been a week since Ningning has been entrusted to your care - a long yet fruitful week of trying to pull any information from the girl in front of you.

You do have that handy bundle of research papers, but even hours of research can’t explain why Ningning chose to be a mercenary, why she chose to attack your captain last week, or why she’s so tight-lipped about any information pertaining to her at all.

Odder still, your Captain won’t tell you a word about her past with Ningning. Any account of their earlier interaction when Ningning was captured would tell you that they seemed to know each other, despite referring to each other as strangers.

What’s going on here? Why won’t either of them tell me the truth?

If there was one thing you could do, despite any limitation, it was getting answers to unsolvable questions. You would get one of them to crack, Ningning or Winter, so you could figure out what was going on between them, or rather, what had happened between them.

A bit of shock therapy is in order, then.

Ningning looks at you in shock as you pull yourself out of your thoughts.

“What do you mean, ‘up you go’?” 

“We’re taking a trip around the ship, so you should prepare yourself.” You play with the keys in your hand for a moment. “Hope you have your sea legs.”

“You think I won’t kill you?” The surprise in her voice is evident as you unlock the door.

“It’s more of a hope, really.” You move out of the way as Ningning gets up from the floor and approaches you.

Her eyes meet yours as the distance between you closes. One of her hands lingers behind her back as she stands mere inches from your chest.

Have I made a mistake? Was I too trusting? Is this my bitter end?

“You’re lucky I like you.” She quietly confesses before pulling a wooden knife from behind her back and handing it to you.

“I…” You pause while looking down at the knife in your hand. “You didn’t?”

“Why would I?” She smiles softly. “You have somewhere to take me, right?”

~

“Winter’s going to fucking kill you.” Giselle emphasizes the potential murder that may happen, as if you weren’t aware of the potential risk of your plan.

“I need answers, and someone has to start talking.” You shrug before grabbing Ningning’s arm with your hand. “C’mon, it’s time that you, the captain, and I had a chat.”

Giselle chuckles as you climb the stairs to the upper deck.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you about Winter.”

“Don’t say you didn’t warn them about me?” Winter parrots as she stands at the top of the stairs.

“Nope, fuck this.” Giselle quickly gets out of dodge as you haul Ningning up the stairs.

You can’t read the expression on her face but you can tell that she’s hesitant about this.

She’s not used to her secrets being out in the open, out of her control. Can’t blame her though - secrecy is how she keeps her head as a mercenary.

“I can’t say I’m surprised at this.” Winter offers you a weak smile. “I thought you’d connect the dots and come to see me sooner.”

“I respected my captain’s privacy until I had concerns on behalf of my prisoner.” You look over to Ningning, who glares at Winter.

“I’ll talk to you,” She stares down Winter before looking at you, “both of you, in private. Not out here - there’s too many eyes and ears for my liking.”

“Alright, you have my word. I’ll lead the way.” 

~

Winter’s quarters are a bit cozier than you remember - an improvement made by their partner and first mate. A small candle that smells of lavender sits in the middle of Winter’s desk, along with a few maps scattered around the table.

You let go of Ningning’s arm as you sit down on the left of your captain, but her hand quickly finds yours as she takes a seat on your left. You bite your lip before hiding your interconnected hands under the table - you don’t need your captain getting the wrong idea, after all.

She won’t sit next to Winter. The bad blood between them runs deep.

“So…” Winter trails off before grabbing a glass of brandy. “Where do we start?”

“I don’t want to talk to you. I want to tell the truth.” Ningning harshly replies as Winter offers you a glass of brandy.

You shake your head before passing it to Ningning, who happily sips from the cup with her free hand.

She’s cute when she’s not insulting me or my friends.

You allow the thought to quickly pass by your mind - now’s not the time for those types of thoughts.

“You never were one to talk about your feelings.” Winter shrugs before taking a sip from her glass. “Why don’t I go first?”

“Why, so you can try to justify why you left me with those people?”

Your eyes widen as you look between the two girls. Ningning, who looks oddly justified by this reveal, and Winter, who’s trying to gauge your reaction as you’re trying to find hers.

Why is she worried about what I think? Is this about her past?

“Yes, your dear Captain,” Ningning spits out, “was a mercenary. A damn good one, before she up and left me. She stole from them too, and guess who took the blame for that? A person near and dear to her heart that she once called a friend.”

“I-” Winter looks away in shame as you look up to the ceiling.

I feel like I’m intruding on something that should be said in confidence.

“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what they did to you after I left.” Winter quietly says as she stares into her glass of brandy. “That’s why I left, you know. I couldn’t take the cruelty of it all. Satisfied, Ningning?”

“I should be,” Ningning takes a deep breath, “but I’m not. I imagined this exact conversation happening over and over, and yet-”

“-it wasn’t how you hoped it would go?” You finish her thought as she nods.

“I thought that it’d happen with a knife to her throat,” Ningning continues, “but I never could’ve killed her. Not you, Minjeong. No matter how much I hate you, I can’t find it in my heart to kill you. I had so many opportunities to kill you when I snuck onto this ship, but the only moment I could truly do so was when you turned your back. To watch life leave your eyes… it would’ve been torture.”

“I knew you didn’t want to kill me, and I didn’t want to torture you for your-” Winter pauses in thoughtful contemplation, “our betrayals of each other.”

“So what now?” Ningning asks as she squeezes your hand for comfort.

“We start over, as friends, and this all stays between the three of us.” Winter looks at you. “Has your curiosity been satisfied?”

“Most definitely.” You give her a teasing smile as she nods.

“I figured, but let’s make this all official.” Winter stands and walks over to Ningning.

She offers the mercenary her hand - an olive branch.

“Come join my crew. Start anew. You won’t have to go back to those mercenaries, I promise. We’ll take care of you.”

“You promise?” Ningning lets go of your hand before her hand hovers over Winter’s hand.

“My word’s as good as my gold.” Winter smiles as the other girl shakes her hand.

“I’ll join your crew, but there’s only one thing I ask.”

“Anything, Ningning, name it.”

“They,” Ningning points an accusing finger at you, “have to learn how to fight with weapons.”

~

“Did you really have to sign me up for fighting lessons?” You whine as Ningning settles herself in her new quarters.

“Can’t have someone I care about getting hurt, can I?” She chuckles to herself as you fold your arms in protest.

“First off, I can fight with a knife just fine, and secondly, when did you start caring about me?” You ask half-heartedly, hoping that she won’t joke with you just this once.

“When you started caring for me first.” She shrugs before walking towards you.

“I can’t believe I got you to care about me after you threaten to kill me.” You tease as her eyes meet yours.

“Neither can I,” She says before leaning in to whisper in your ear, “but fate must’ve had something different in mind for both of us.”

With a quick kiss to your cheek, Ningning leaves her room while leaving you in shock.

She… kissed me?

“Wait, that’s not how you did your work as a mercenary, right?” You call down the hallway, which only causes her to loudly laugh. “Answer me, Ningning!”

Although she’s (hopefully) tugging at your heartstrings, you can’t help but want to know more about Ningning. She’s a treasure trove of secrets and stories, waiting to be uncovered.

Maybe, in time, you’ll get around to telling her some of your secrets as well.

[panda-writes-kpop]

can we pause time, just for us? ~ h. yj.

a/n: happy birthday to the anon that asked for this fic! this fic was sooo cute, and I had fun writing it! the request, for any curious parties:

tw: marriage and implied pregnancy (Yunjin not reader) that was written in a way to keep reader gender-neutral, fluff so sweet it'll root your teeth!

summary: you feel like it's time to take your relationship to the next level with an engagement ring. yunjin feels the same, so the two of you work towards your shared future.

related fics: international love, you're mine, and I'm yours

♡ Masterlist ♡

The ring feels heavy in your hands, like the weight of two futures that will be forever intertwined, but it easily finds a small pocket in your bag. You had a call with Yunjin tonight - maybe you’d talk about your future, just as a fanciful idea, for now.

“Hey, are you listening to me?” Yunjin calls you back from your daydream as you look at your phone screen. “You’re never this distracted - is everything alright?”

“Sorry, I was thinking about things.” You say as you fiddle with the ring in your hand.

“What things?”

“I-” You pause as you set the ring aside. “How do you feel about moving in together?”

“Now? Honey, I’d have to talk things out with my agency, and you’re still filming that movie for a few more weeks-” Yunjin seriously contemplates the idea as you let a smile briefly appear on your face.

“Not now, of course, but eventually. You’re the only woman I want to be with, and I’m serious about our future. I want to move in with you and marry you, when the time allows it.”

A gasp leaves Yunjin’s mouth before she goes quiet. Your mind reels as you think of how to backtrack - was it too much at one time?

“I want to marry you too, babe. I’d love to move in with you, get married, and eventually start a family.” Yunjin quietly responds as your heart explodes in your chest.

“Really?” You ask.

“Really.” She says, and you can see the cheeky grin on her face through the screen. “We can talk more about this when I’m in town for your birthday, alright?”

“Sounds great. I love you, Yunjin.”

“I love you too, baby.”

~

“Yunjin!” You throw your apartment door open before she has a chance to knock on the door.

“Were you excited to see me?” She smiles before wrapping her arms around you. “I missed seeing you.”

“I missed you too.” You mutter into her hair as your hands land on her waist. “Thank you for being in town for my birthday.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Yunjin pulls away from your chest, only to press a kiss to your lips.

You kiss her with increasing fervor before pulling her into your apartment and closing the door behind her.

“You really missed me, huh?” She breathlessly teases after you break away from her.

“It’s hard not to miss you.” You let go of her waist as she places a small gift box into your hands.

“It’s for you, love. I want you to open it.” She bashfully looks away as you admire the box in your hand.

“You didn’t have to get me anything-”

“You went all out for my birthday, so I had to do the same for you.” Yunjin insists as you take a seat on your couch.

Yunjin curls up at your side as you carefully open the book.

You pull the object out of the box, and you stare in confusion at the key in your hand.

“What is this for?” You ask as Yunjin offers you a warm smile.

“It’s a key for an apartment in Seoul.” She bashfully looks away as you pull her into your arms.

“You’re serious?” You say as she nods. “I was serious when I told you I wanted to move in with you and get married. I don’t want you to feel pressured on my behalf-”

“-I’m not, babe.” Yunjin wraps her arms around your neck. “And I was serious when I told you that I felt the same and that I wanted to start a family.”

“I’ve never wanted anything more, love.” You press gentle kisses from her cheek down to her neck. “We can look into those things when we move in together, alright?”

Yunjin laughs before kissing your cheek in response. 

“Sounds good to me.”

The ring feels less heavy in your pocket as you enjoy your birthday with Yunjin at your side.

~

“Is this the last box?” You set the box full of dishes in the kitchen as Yunjin stares out of the big window in your shared apartment.

Our apartment.

“Uh-huh.” She nods as you join her side.

When you place a hand on her waist, she doesn’t offer you more than a nod.

“Something wrong?”

“I… just have a lot on my mind, dear. ” Yunjin looks away from you as you pull her into your arms. 

“You promise you’re alright?” You ask as she looks up at you.

“I’m just… so happy that we’re here, together, without thousands of miles between us.” A tear runs down her cheek, one that you quickly wipe away.

“I’m happy to be with you too.” You comfort her with a warm embrace.

The ring in your pocket feels lighter than ever - maybe it’s time?

As Yunjin gives you a sweet smile, your hand finds the ring in your back pocket.

It’s definitely time.

“Can I ask you something?” You say as you hide the ring in one hand as the other squeezes Yunjin’s hand.

“Of course, dear.” Yunjin sniffles quietly before wiping another tear from her face.

It’s time.

You go down on one knee, and Yunjin holds her free hand in front of her face as you reveal the ring to her.

“Oh, love…” She trails off as you begin to say the words that you’ve practiced in your head.

“When I’m with you, I feel truly at home. There’s no one else I’d rather spend every day with, and I can’t imagine a future without you. I love you so much, Yunjin, so much more than words or a ring can express; however, a ring is the best way I can promise myself to you, forever and always.” 

You pause to blink away your own tears as tears stream down Yunjin’s face.

“Yunjin, my love, will you marry me?”

“Yes!” She enthusiastically answers you before tackling you to the ground. “A thousand times yes!”

She pulls you in for a quick kiss as you take her hand and gently place the ring on her left hand.

“Beautiful.” You mutter as she stares at the ring.

“The ring is beautiful-”

“-I was talking about the girl wearing it.” You smirk as you help Yunjin off of the ground.

“You’re cheesy.”

“You love it,” You point to the ring, “and that’s proof of it.”

“I have something to give to you, as well.” Yunjin says before scampering off to the bathroom. “Close your eyes!”

“Alright, then.” You oblige as you wait for Yunjin to come back into the room.

When she does, she hands you a small object that you can’t recognize by shape alone.

What is this?

When you open your eyes and look down, you gasp.

“You’re-” You pause as Yunjin places a hand on her stomach and nods.

“I know we talked about starting a family, and we took some steps to do so, but I didn’t expect it to happen so quickly.” She confesses as you pull her into a big hug.

“We can do this, together, just as we’ve handled everything else. I’ve got you.” You say as Yunjin wraps her arms around you. 

“I love you, more than anything else. I can’t wait to start our future together.”

You look out of the window, out towards the Seoul skyline, before pressing a kiss to Yunjin’s forehead.

“I love you too, Yunjin. Now and always.”

[panda-writes-kpop]

who you gonna call? (winchesters!) ~ k. br.

a/n: raaaahhh happy SuA day!!! a little late on the international end of things but it's better late than never, right? anyways enjoy this fic, I had so much fun writing it that I may get back into watching supernatural. :) also the title is based on an edit of the winchesters brothers to 'ghostbusters' by ray parker jr!

I normally don't do a separate trigger warning for specific triggers, but since this is the first time that a piece of work has touched on such a serious topic, I wanted to put a big disclaimer out there. There is a scene in the fic where suicide is discussed as a possible cause of death. There's isn't any more graphic of a description than the word being thrown around once or twice; however, I feel it is my responsibility as an author to inform you of this. That being said, if you or a loved one are struggling, here's a list of international suicide hotlines that can help you if you need them. take care of yourselves, my loves, and remember that you all are beloved by me. ❤️

tw: BRIEF MENTION OF SUICIDE, main character death, lots of blood and gore in this one, not accurate to the Supernatural episode (Season 1, Episode 5) that it is based on, reader's parents died at an early age, it's a mixed bag of angst, fluff, and hurt/comfort with an open ending

summary: after one of the worst nights of your life, a pair of "reporters" roll into town and ask you questions about your dead friend. unfortunately, one of the girls, SuA, is a bit too charming for her own good. your curiosity towards the girl brings you closer to her, and it brings SuA closer to solving your friend's death, as well as the death of your parents.

♡ Masterlist ♡

“Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody-”

“Stop!” You cry out before shutting your eyes. “Don’t do this!”

“You know it’s not real, right?” Ryujin looks at you as concern laces into her voice. “We can leave, if you’re uncomfortable-”

“You’re both chickens!” Yuna teases you before turning back to the bathroom mirror. “O’ spooky mirror ghost, tell these losers to go back home!”

She cackles as you open your eyes and place a steady hand on the counter.

“Yuna, I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” You bite your lip as tears start to form in your eyes.

Yuna’s smile immediately fades as she pushes Ryujin aside to pull you into a hug.

“I’m so sorry! I was just playing around, and I didn’t mean to make you cry.” She whines before placing her head on your chest. “Please forgive me!”

With pleading eyes, Yuna looks like a wounded puppy as you gently comb your fingers through her hair.

“It’s alright, Yuna,” You reassure her as your free hand wraps around her side, “I know you didn’t mean any harm. I’ve just been sensitive to these things since people started spreading those haunting rumors after my parents died.”

“Those people are assholes,” Ryujin injects, “and you shouldn’t pay them any mind.”

Yuna bobs her head up and down before letting you out of her arms.

“That’s why you’ve got us!” She proudly says before looking in the mirror. “We’ll protect you from anything, ghost-related or not.”

You let go of Yuna before heading towards the bathroom door.

“Thank you, to the both of you.” You wipe away the tears that threaten to fall as Ryujin grabs your hand and guides you away from the bathroom.

“C’mon, I’ll make you some hot chocolate and we can talk about those cute girls you’ve been seeing at college.” She teases as you smile back at her.

“Girls? What girls?” You play dumb, which causes Ryujin to laugh.

“You know exactly what I mean.”

Your other hand catches the door frame as you look back at Yuna.

“You coming?”

“In a minute!” She gleefully says as you remove your hand from the doorway.

A second later, and it would’ve been crushed by Yuna slamming the door shut. You allow Ryujin to drag you to the kitchen as your thoughts begin to wander.

It’s silly to believe those rumors, right? Maybe I should be brave like Yuna and face them head on.

~

After Yuna slams the door shut, she turns the light off and grabs the candle from the sink. With a spare match that she stowed away in her pocket, she lights the candle and sets it back onto the counter.

Yuna looks at herself in the mirror, locking eyes with the reflection that looks back at her, as she smiles to herself.

“It’s just a child’s game - what harm could it do?”

She leans close to the mirror before whispering, “Bloody Mary.”

A single shiver runs up her spine - fear? adrenaline? panic? fate?

She sighs to herself. 

This is stupid.

“Bloody Mary.” Her voice rings out again, and this time, the candle wavers in the wind.

Yuna looks out to the window in the bathroom, but it isn’t wide open or slightly cracked. It’s completely shut, with no holes to be seen.

A new shiver runs down her spine - this one she identifies as pure terror.

What’s going on?

“Bloody Mary.” 

The words leave her lips before she can stop herself. Yuna immediately turns on the lights and looks around.

There’s nothing here - you’re just a scaredy-cat!

She breathes out before wiping a tear from her eye.

I must’ve really scared myself if I started crying.

She looks down at her hand, expecting to see nothing but a teardrop, but she sees blood.

Her blood.

A scream is caught in her throat, threatening to escape as she looks in the mirror.

This time, she sees blood falling from both of her eyes, and a shadowy figure in the back.

A woman.

Bloody Mary.

~

You grab the warm mug from Ryujin’s hands before taking a sip of the hot chocolate. Like an impatient child, you take a sip and are immediately reminded why doing so is a terrible idea. You quickly set the mug back down as the liquid in your mouth is scolding your tongue and throat as it travels down to your stomach.

“Fuck,” You wipe your lips, “that’s hot.”

“It’s hot chocolate, you know.” She nudges your arm before taking a seat next to you in the dining room.

You roll your eyes as she laughs at her own bad joke.

“Thanks, Einstein.”

Her mug sits on the table, right next to yours, as her hand grabs your arm.

“How’s college life? Meet anyone special?”

“Not yet. I’m focused on my studies.” You shrug off her nosiness, but Ryujin’s persistent.

“You can’t just spend the rest of your life slaving away at work, you know.” 

“You can’t just spend the rest of your life working at a shitty cafe, Ryujin.” You mimic her voice as she loudly gasps.

“Excuse you! My caramel macchiatos are anything but shitty!”

You both laugh before falling into a comfortable silence.

Her fingers run up and down your arm, and you find comfort in the gesture. She’s been your closest friend since your parents died, back during your first year of high school. Through her, you met Yuna, her neighbor and childhood best friend, who had the biggest house on the block.

It was easy to escape the pain of being in a home with no parents when you could simply spend every night at a friend’s house. It wasn’t like their parents complained - you all got decent grades and stayed out of trouble, so what was the harm?

“It was nice of Yuna to offer her house to me since I’m in town for the week.” You say, as Ryujin nods.

“Her house is always open to me. The benefits of being neighbors, I suppose.” She looks over to the hallway where the bathroom is. “Yuna, come out here before your hot chocolate gets cold! I don’t want to hear any complaints if it already is!”

You laugh before looking out to the hallway.

“That’s odd. She’d usually have some sort of smartass comment to say by now.” You glance at Ryujin, who seems perplexed by Yuna’s odd behavior.

“You’re right. She’s never this quiet. Do you want to check in on her, or should I do so?”

“I’ll do it.” You quickly get out of your chair and head towards the bathroom.

“Yuna!” You call out to her as you slowly approach the bathroom door. Nearly every light in the house is on, yet you feel some sort of darkness around you.

C’mon, Yuna, now is not the time for jokes.

“Yuna, please come out! Ryujin and I, we’re worried about you!” You stop before the door, fist raised to knock against it.

You knock once, twice, thrice.

No response.

“Yuna, please!” Your voice becomes more desperate as you continue to knock. “This isn’t funny!”

You try to open the door, you’re past the social politeness of knocking in case she’s taking care of private business. You’re worried that she slipped and fell, or maybe she hurt herself and didn’t want to say anything-

A key. There has to be a key somewhere.

You look down to see if you can spot a key, but your eyes widen at the sight in front of you.

Blood soaks into your shoes and the carpet below your feet.

You shriek in terror.

“What’s wrong?” Ryujin races around the corner as you start sobbing.

“Call an ambulance! I think Yuna’s, she’s-” 

You choke on your own tears as Ryujin scrambles to find her phone to call for help.

Your mind can’t help but to make a terrible comparison, one that you thought you would never have to relive.

This was exactly how you found your parents, all those years ago.

~

“Mom! Dad!” You call out from your bedroom. “You guys forgot to turn off the hallway light!”

You tightly hug your stuffed rabbit as you wait for one of your parents to respond. They were the two people you trusted most in the world, even though you were a young teenager.

Making friends didn’t come easy to you, especially not in high school, when most of the friend groups had already been decided.

You did talk to this one girl in your math class - Ryujin - but she was more of a study buddy than anything. A friend that simply saw you as a means to an end.

How tragic.

“Mom! Dad!” You call out for them again, wait for a response, and then get out of bed. “I wanted to stay curled up in bed, but I can’t do that when you guys are ignoring me!”

You sigh before putting on your slippers and trudging towards the hallway.

You exit your bedroom and turn to the left as you find the lightswitch with ease. That, however, isn’t what peaks your interest.

It’s the steady stream of a red liquid coming from the master bathroom.

“Mom…” You trail off before walking towards the door. “Dad?”

As you approach, a metal tang hits your nose. It isn’t any red liquid - it’s blood.

~

Red and white lights consume your vision as you sit on the steps of the front porch. In the distance, you can hear Ryujin talking with one of the paramedics, but it all feels like white noise to you.

Could it really be? Could the same entity that killed my parents really have done this to Yuna?

It’s all a jumble of lights, endless questioning, and paranoia until a hand meets your shoulder.

You look up at Ryujin, who tries to give you a forced smile.

“What did they say?” You softly ask as Ryujin takes a seat next to you.

“They think it was a stroke, or some other heart condition. That’s the only thing that could’ve caused her eyes to be like that.”

“Her eyes were liquified, just like my parents.” You quietly say. “Paramedics said they died of strokes, too.”

“But I don’t get it. Yuna ate healthy, exercised regularly, and didn’t seem stressed at all. That’s why they’re looking into suicide as a cause of death too.”

“You can’t be serious, Ryujin,” You glare at her. “Suicide?”

“We never really know what’s going on in someone’s head.” She shrugs before letting her head fall between her knees. “How are we going to tell her family about this? We should’ve been in there with her, maybe we could’ve caught the signs sooner-”

You lean your head against her shoulder and offer her a bit of comfort.

“Trust me, dreading the past doesn’t help at all.”

“What are we supposed to do, then?” 

When Ryujin lifts her head to meet your eyes, she hides her face in a valiant effort to hide her red eyes and quiet sniffles. You gently rub circles into her back as she grabs your shoulders and pulls you closer to her.

“We grieve, we remember, and we move forward with our lives.”

~

“Hustling for pool money again?” Siyeon asks, not daring to lift her eyes from the newspaper.

“Uh-huh.” SuA tosses a stack of cash on the bar table. “What do you think?”

“That it’s better than the credit card scams, but worse than an actual job.” Siyeon bluntly says before SuA grabs a chair, spins it around, and takes a seat.

“Think what you want, but it’s money and it’s right there.” She proudly smiles before looking at Siyeon. “Speaking of jobs, have you found anything?”

“This might interest you.” Siyeon grabs a pen and circles an article in the paper before tossing it to SuA.

“What am I looking at?”

“A girl from a prominent family died about a month ago. Shin Yuna was her name.” Siyeon explains.

“What’s so special about her that requires our… unique expertise?”

“Read the autopsy report in the paper. Her eyes were completely liquified, and they found most of the blood in her body within her skull. They claim that her cause of death was a stroke.”

“No shit.” SuA bites her lips as her eyes gloss over the page. “Are we dealing with a pissed-off spirit, a deranged vampire, or something else?”

“I say that we give it a look before those men over there get mad at you for your hustling.” Siyeon grabs her jacket as SuA takes a sip of beer from the stein in front of her.

“Hustling is an underappreciated art form.” SuA argues before putting on her leather jacket. “Let’s go.”

Siyeon shrugs before grabbing the newspaper from SuA.

“Let’s go.”

~

“This feels wrong.” Siyeon raises her fist to the door before looking back to SuA’s ‘67 Chevy Impala. “Are you sure there isn’t anyone else we can talk to first?”

“Family and next of kin is always the best source.” SuA adjusts the aviators on her face as she admires her reflection in a side view mirror. “We have to rule out witchcraft and demonic possession, just so we can be sure that we’re dealing with a pissed-off spirit.”

“Yuna’s family… her parents have been through enough. Should we really not start anywhere else?” Siyeon’s hesitation causes SuA to sigh and walk towards the house.

“Where has this hesitation come from? It’s not like you.” SuA places her sunglasses on the top of her head before knocking on the door.

Siyeon crinkles her nose in disapproval before moving to the side.

“Mr. and Mrs. Shin, a moment of your time!” SuA calls out while banging on their front door.

She stops for a moment and waits for an answer, but no one responds or comes to the door.

“They must be out of town.” Siyeon shrugs before watching SuA grab a bobby pin from her hair. “Don’t tell me you’re going to-”

“You said they weren’t home,” She argues, “and we have to learn about our victim one way or another.”

She places one knee on the ground as she lowers herself to be eye-level with the door. One hand grabs the door knob while the other takes the bobby pin and begins to mess with the lock and-

Easy does it, baby.

“Hey, I’m pretty sure trespassing is illegal in all parts of the world!” A voice yells, which breaks SuA’s concentration.

Startled, she launches herself to her feet before Siyeon walks backwards and falls into SuA, sending them both to the ground.

“Nice one.” SuA grumbles before Siyeon scoots aside.

“You tried breaking in!”

“You encouraged it!”

“You two have to be the worst thieves I’ve ever seen.” A pink-haired girl walks from the next-door house to greet them at Yuna’s home. “Or you’re the next Nancy Drew in-training.”

“Who are you?” SuA quickly stands up before offering a hand to Siyeon.

Siyeon takes the hand and quickly reaches for her wallet in her back pocket, most likely looking for whatever fake ID will get them out of a potential cop car ride.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?” She innocently tilts her head as her piercing gaze makes SuA sweat under her leather jacket. “The nearest police station is five minutes away, and I know the deputy’s daughter-”

“Ryujin, that’s enough!”

SuA lets out a heavy breath as her knight in shining pajamas appears at Ryujin’s side. With messy bed hair and a kind smile, they look much less terrifying (and much cuter) than Ryujin.

~

“Ryujin, that’s enough!” You march towards Yuna’s house as Ryujin sheepishly backs down from the two women in front of her. “They’re probably interns at a newspaper who were sent to look into Yuna’s death.”

“Yeah, sorry we forgot to mention that to you.” The taller one rubs her neck before putting her wallet away. “I left my college ID in my car, I can go get it for you if you’d like-”

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” You shrug before looking at her, “Names are enough for me.”

“Siyeon.” The taller girl sticks out her hand, which you gladly shake.

“And you?” You look over to the smaller girl, who simply smirks.

“You can call me the woman of your dreams.” She flashes you a charming smile before Siyeon elbows her in the gut. “Fuck! What was that for?”

“Her name’s SuA.” Siyeon apologetically says as SuA grabs her stomach in pain. “She can be a bit… much at times.”

You simply smile at SuA, who leans against the doorframe to look tougher.

And less like a child who got their hand stuck in the cookie jar.

Cute.

“SuA, Siyeon, it’s nice to meet you,” You say before quickly introducing yourself, “and this is Ryujin.”

“You still didn’t tell me why you’re knocking at our dead friend’s front door.” She deadpans as you place a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s better that they bug us instead of her parents,” You say, “who have been out of town since the funeral. Rumor is that they’re going to sell the place, but it’ll most likely get torn down.”

“Right. No one wants to live in a house where a woman died.” Siyeon looks at the door for a moment. “Is there any way we could look inside? For our article, we need a full biography of the victim, and we thought her childhood home might fill in the pieces that we don’t know.”

“Yuna.” Ryujin sternly corrects Siyeon. “Her name is Yuna.”

“I-” Siyeon pauses, rethinking her answer. “Yuna, of course. Apologies.”

Ryujin scoffs before nodding. 

“I wouldn’t feel comfortable being in there without her parents’ permission, but we can talk to you in Ryujin’s house.” You clarify before Ryujin can say something argumentative in response.

That, however, does not completely stop her from responding as Ryujin’s head snaps towards you.

“You can’t be serious! They’re strangers-”

“-Yet, they’re much better than the other reporters and photographs that have come around here.” You say before beckoning SuA and Siyeon towards Ryujin’s house. “C’mon, we can tell you everything you need to know. We were her closest friends, and we were there when she died.”

You don’t miss the way that SuA’s eyes light up when you say the last part.

She must be really invested in this case.

~

“This hot chocolate is really good.” SuA remarks before offering her glass to you. “Want some?”

“No, I’m alright,” You lean towards SuA with a smile, “but Ryujin’s coffees are so much better.”

“Are you shit-talking my hot chocolate?” Ryujin yells from the kitchen as you slide into the stool next to SuA.

“I thought you said it was okay to do so, as long as you said your coffees were better!” You holler back as Siyeon takes a seat next to SuA.

“My coffee is fantastic, by the way!” Ryujin says as you chuckle to yourself.

Never change, Ryujin.

“Maybe I could buy you some, as a treat for your hospitality?” SuA gives you a wide grin before nudging your shoulder.

“Maybe.” You teasingly shrug before looking at Siyeon. “Are you sure you don’t want anything besides water?”

“No, I’m alright. I feel like we’re imposing on you already.” Siyeon gives SuA a sharp glare before looking back at you. “Do you mind if we ask you some questions about Yuna? It’s not exactly surface-level stuff, and if we cross any boundaries, be sure t-”

“-Did you notice anything weird going on with Yuna before she died?” SuA enters the conversation with the gracefulness of a one-ton elephant. “Any flickering lights, sulfur around window sills, increasing or decreasing temperatures…”

“No, none of that,” You shake your head before thinking, “but there was one thing that she did say, before she died.”

“What was it?” SuA looks deep into your eyes, and you’d blush under any other circumstance.

“The three of us - me, Ryujin, and Yuna - were in the bathroom a few minutes before she died. When we were in there, Yuna was teasing me and she started chanting Bloody Mary in the mirror. I stopped her before she got to the third one, but I can’t help but wonder…”

You bow your head for a moment to recollect yourself before speaking again.

“...I’m sorry, you didn’t come for speculation. So no, there wasn’t anything weird with Yuna before she died.”

You glance over at Siyeon, then to SuA. The two girls are staring at each other with an intrigued look on their faces.

They can’t actually believe this story, right?

“Have there been any other deaths like this in town?” Siyeon asks.

Here we go.

“Two, actually,” You start to chew on your lip, “my parents.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.” 

The words fly out of Siyeon’s mouth as she tries to pick her jaw up off the table. 

“Don’t be, it was seven years ago. But yes, when I found them, their eyes were liquified, just like Yuna’s.” You offer a weak smile to your companions, both of which look like they’d rather be five feet under the ground than right next to you.

And everyone wonders why I don’t like to talk about my parents - the response is always similar to this.

“Can I ask a stupid question?” SuA takes a sip from her mug after responding.

“Shoot.”

“Did you play Bloody Mary before your parents died?”

Your eyes widen as SuA’s bluntness.

“I-”

“SuA!” Siyeon reaches behind you to smack SuA on the shoulder. “Why would you ask something like that?”

“I’m forming a theory on what’s happened here,” She pauses for dramatic effect, “a damn good one if you ask me.”

Siyeon clears her throat before grabbing her water and standing up.

“Alright, we’re done here. Pardon my partner’s rudeness.” Siyeon walks over to SuA and hauls her onto her feet.

“But my hot cocoa-” SuA whines, which causes you to laugh.

“It’ll be here if you have any more questions.” You wave at the two girls as they bicker and exit the house at the same time.

Ryujin slowly approaches from the kitchen with her eyebrows furrowed.

“Why’d you tell them all that? You know they’re not reporters, right?”

“I don’t know, Ryujin,” You say before patting the vacant stool on your left, “there was something different about those two. They might just be nosy tourists, but I think they might be able to find something in connection with Yuna and my parents.”

“Be honest - you just let them in because SuA was eye-fucking you-”

“RYUJIN!”

~

“Alright, SuA, what’s your theory?” Siyeon places her feet on the dashboard before SuA swats them away in disapproval.

“We’re not dealing with a demon or a vampire or a werewolf. This is just a seriously pissed-off spirit. One that looks like Blood Mary, apparently.” SuA says before turning the car to the left. “We need to look into unsolved murders in the area. Perhaps one that has to do with eyes?”

“Spirits do like to kill their victims in ways that resemble how their murderer killed them. A twisted sort of revenge.” Siyeon nods along. “What would cause the spirit to attack once, and then not attack until seven years later? Usually, these sort of killings happen in rapid succession.”

“That’s the part that has me stumped, too.” SuA pulls into the motel parking lot with ease before putting the car into park. “Let’s get some sleep and see what we can figure out in the morning.”

~

“Shit.”

SuA runs her fingers through her hair as she stares at the headline for the morning news broadcast on TV.

A Deadly Sleepover: Three Teens Found Dead in Local Home!

“You think it’s our spirit?” Siyeon asks as SuA places her head into her hands.

“They said that the girls had their eyes liquified.” SuA absentmindedly looks up to the ceiling.

Why does there always have to be more deaths before we catch our murderer?

SuA watches Siyeon sort through a few newspaper clips while looking at her computer.

“Tell me you’ve got a lead.” SuA taps her foot against the motel flooring as Siyeon nods.

“I do. I cross-referenced local unsolved murders with any autopsy reports of eye gouging or similar injuries, but I couldn’t find anything on the victim’s side.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” SuA asks as Siyeon hands the computer to her.

“Look here. Lucinda Brown, 25 years old. She was murdered in her home by an older man who had his eyes gouged out at the scene of the crime.”

“Jesus.” SuA scrolls through the autopsy reports. “You think this is our girl?”

“Timeline matches up. Lucinda was murdered twenty years before any murders occurred here. That’s enough time to drive any person, living or dead, to insanity. Speaking of, her murderer managed to escape jail time by pleading that he was mentally unwell at the time of the murder.” Siyeon replies.

“Alright, so what do we do now? Dig up some old bones and give them a communion in fire?” SuA suggests, which is quickly shot down by Siyeon.

“The woman was cremated, so that’s a no-go. There must be something else tying her to the mortal world.” Siyeon ponders for a moment. “Let me see the laptop again.”

“Sure.” SuA hands it back to Siyeon before looking at the TV.

The reporter’s interviewing a neighbor who had heard nothing of the incident, except that the girls had been playing Bloody Mary with a handheld mirror in the backyard.

“Bingo,” With a satisfying click, Siyeon turns the laptop to face SuA, "we've got our object of interest.”

On the laptop monitor is a picture of the crime scene from Lucinda Brown’s home. It’s obvious that this was a home invasion - a dresser was knocked down in the background, sheets were tangled with each other on the floor, and blood was splattered across every possible surface in the room.

No wonder the family cremated the poor girl.

SuA’s eyes drift up towards the middle of the picture, where a floor-length mirror stares back at her. In the middle of the mirror, written in blood, is a simple message: Help Me.

“She knew she was going to die there.” SuA softly says. “One last act of rebellion against her killer. I think we’ve got our ghost, but the question remains: where’s that mirror?”

~

“I can’t believe you still kept the thrift store, after all of these years.” Ryujin adjusts the cap on her head before leaning over the counter. “I know it’s your parents, but that place gives me the creeps.”

“I know.” You nod as you stare out of the cafe window. “There’s just a part of me that would hate to see it go to ruin.”

“So you just leave it in limbo?”

“So I just leave it in limbo.” You answer as she looks over to the register. 

“You could always come work with me, y’know. I might own this place one day.” Ryujin’s eyes sparkle with ambition, and you can’t help but laugh at her goals.

“You work on that, Ryujin.” You take a step back before the door opens. “Well, if it isn’t our reporter friends.”

“Friends?” SuA scoffs before walking in. “I thought I left a better impression than friends.”

“Maybe I want you to make a better impression now.” You tease before grabbing your coffee. “Order something first, and then we’ll talk.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” SuA rushes over to talk with Ryujin, which causes laughter to fall from your lips.

Wonder if she’s like this with every person she meets…

“Siyeon.” You greet her as she admires the display of baked goods. “You should try the donuts so Ryujin doesn’t have to burn anything in the oven.”

“It was one time!” Ryujin yells as she writes SuA’s order on a cup.

“I’ll get something in a minute, but I wanted to ask you if you saw the news this morning.” Siyeon places her hand on the display case as her eyes look through the different options.

“I did, yes,” You lower your voice before asking, “do you think it’s related to the other deaths?”

“Given that the girls had the same wounds that Yuna did, I’d say there’s a strong chance that it is.” Siyeon quietly answers.

“Do you know how to stop them?”

“We have a strong idea. Have you seen a mirror like this?” Siyeon grabs a folded-up piece of paper and hands it to you.

You grab the paper and carefully unfold it, and you gasp as you stare at the crime scene in front of you.

“I-” You pause as you notice the mirror in the corner, “I think I’ve seen that mirror before. My parents used to have one just like it in the thrift shop that they owned.”

Siyeon’s eyes widen as she looks over at SuA.

“I’m listening, hold on.” SuA hands her card to Ryujin before walking over to the two of you. “Mind if we take a look around there?”

“I thought you wanted to have a coffee shop date.” You smile as she bashfully looks away for a moment.

“Ah, so now it’s a date.” SuA chuckles before leaning against the counter. “We can change plans, as long as you don’t mind having a third wheel.”

“As long as you two aren’t making out in the back of the Impala, I don’t really care.” Siyeon shrugs before Ryujin hands her a baked good.

“Here’s one slightly toasted-but-not-burnt donut.” Ryujin says before grabbing a coffee from the back. “And your black coffee, you heathen.”

“I prefer my coffee black instead of liquid sugar, thanks.” SuA remarks before taking a sip. “Perfect.”

“Whatever.” Ryujin rolls her eyes before looking out of the window. “Hey, did you see that woman?”

“What woman?” You look out to the road, but there’s not one car or person outside except the Chevy Impala.

You notice the visible panic on Siyeon’s face as she walks over to Ryujin. 

“What does she look like?”

“Well, she had pretty blonde hair, but her face was a little messed up. It almost looked like she was dead or something…” Ryujin confesses.

“Fuck.” SuA sets her coffee aside before grabbing Ryujin. 

“What are you doing?” She frantically looks around as SuA drags her to the car.

“If you want to live, you have to come with us.” 

The door slams shut as Siyeon follows after her.

“We’ll explain in the car, I swear.”

~

“Are you serious?” Ryujin breathes deeply through her nose as Siyeon covers the rearview mirror with a small towel. “If so, I’m fucked.”

“But she didn’t say Bloody Mary three times!” You try to reason with SuA as she steps on the gas after pulling out from the parking spot.

“It doesn’t seem to matter who said it.” SuA runs a red light in town as you fumble with the keys in your hand. “What can you tell us about that mirror in your parents’ thrift shop?”

“I remember that they sold it to a woman in our neighborhood, a few weeks before they…” You trail off. “You’re telling me that this mirror killed my mom and dad?”

“Not the mirror as much as the spirit attached to this.” Siyeon says as she lowers the passenger seat window.

“This is insane, right?” Ryujin looks over to you with a look of fear that doesn’t normally sit on her face. “I can’t believe that you believe this!”

“I mean… I’ve always felt that there was something wrong about their deaths, but I didn’t think it was a literal haunting. I just thought it was a mean rumor that the neighborhood kids saw.”

“The same kids that would play Bloody Mary with that mirror?” SuA asks as you point out the thrift shop in the distance.

“You guys have done more to solve my parents murder in the last twenty-four hours than the police have done in seven years.” You shake your head. “I don’t know how I could thank you.”

“Let’s save your friend first, and then let’s talk about thank you’s, alright?” SuA pulls into a nearby parking spot as you hand Siyeon the keys.

“Are you positive that the mirror is here?” Ryujin looks over to you as you nod.

“The woman who bought that mirror had died a few weeks later, of an actual stroke, and one of her children took it with them when they moved out of her house.” You explain as SuA nods along.

“That explains the lack of murders in seven years, but that means someone brought it back to your town.” 

“I’ve used the thrift shop as a storage unit since my parents’ house was torn down two years ago. A few weeks ago, I saw that someone placed a floor-length mirror outside of the back door, so I brought it inside so it wouldn’t get smashed.” You hand the picture back to Siyeon. “The same mirror in that photo, minus the bloody message.”

“I hate to rush the exposition, but I’ve seen Bloody Mary in your side mirror.” Ryujin says before slapping a hand over your eyes. “Can we please get this show on the road?”

“Right. You get the hammer, I’ll get the shotgun.” Siyeon says as she and SuA exit the car at the same time.

“I’m fucked, aren’t I?” Ryujin whimpers as you rub her shoulder. 

“They hunt ghosts, or whatever they tried to explain to us. We have to keep you alive long enough for them to deal with this.” You attempt to comfort her as you hear the trunk of the car slam shut.

You roll down the window as SuA approaches your side of the car.

“Hey, be careful out there. I still want to get coffee with you sometime.” You offer her a cheerful smile as she runs a hand through her hair.

“You don’t have to worry about me, babe, I’ve got you. Both of you.” SuA winks at you before walking towards the thrift shop.

You shyly look away as Ryujin punches your shoulder.

“Can you flirt with her when I’m not near certain death?”

~

“Of course there isn’t any electricity.” SuA quietly grumbles before flipping the light switch off. “Where did they say the mirrors were?”

“Up ahead, and to the left.” Siyeon says before following your instructions. “Here we are.”

“How many mirrors are there?” SuA says as she looks at the collection of floor-length mirrors. “Do we start smashing, or…?”

“Maybe if we summon her, she will appear from the mirror that was in her house.” Siyeon says before turning to a mirror hung on the wall.

“That’s a terrible idea that will get us both killed.” SuA tries to pull Siyeon away, but Siyeon pushes her aside. “Don’t do this, I’m warning you.”

“Too late.” Siyeon locks eyes with the reflection in the mirror. “Bloody Mary, Blood Mary, Bloody Mary.”

The lights above them flicker as SuA approaches the first set of mirrors. The reflection of the flashing lights nearly blinds her, but she manages to smash the first one with little difficulty.

“Do you see her?” SuA yells before smashing another mirror.

“Not yet!” Siyeon calls out before turning to the side. “Keep going!”

The lights flash with increasing frequency as SuA continues to break every floor-length mirror that crosses her path.

Why would anyone ever have so many mirrors?

Again and again, SuA smashes every mirror that she sees. And again, none of them seem to stop the flashing lights. She travels deeper and deeper as her hammer strikes every mirror in her path.

SuA’s deep into the back of the thrift shop when Siyeon screams in pain.

“Siyeon-ah!” SuA yells out before running through a different part of the store.

How many different types of mirrors are there?

“She’s… here!” Siyeon manages to get out before another scream escapes her.

SuA doesn’t have time to smash every mirror she sees - she has to find the mirror, and fast.

She flies through the store, to the musical accompaniment of Siyeon’s sounds of terror and pain, until she spots a mirror with the tiniest bloodstain on it.

“Guess the mirror wasn’t totally clean, huh.” She says to herself before the hammer connects to the mirror.

It shatters instantly, just as Siyeon goes quiet. 

“Siyeon!” SuA backtracks quickly, only to find Siyeon laying on the floor with blood coming from her eyes. “You okay?”

“I’ll live,” She mutters before slowly getting off of the floor, “but she won’t.”

Siyeon weakly points ahead of her, where a woman that matches Ryujin’s descriptions and the autopsy report disappears into a cloud of black smoke.

“You think she’s gone for good?” Siyeon quietly asks.

“As long as the mirror stays shattered, I’d say so.”

~

“I suppose I should say thank you.” You say as you approach the Chevy Impala.

SuA leans against the driver’s side door with a smirk.

“I suppose I should say that you’re welcome, but I think an apology is in order.”

She sheepishly looks away as you wave off her concerns.

“Don’t worry about the mirrors. They’re not worth the price of someone’s life.” You look over to the thrift shop. “Besides, it’s time that I let that place go. It’s just a collection of bad memories and poor decisions. Something more positive and welcoming should take its place.”

“You’re selling it?” 

“No, I’m giving it to Ryujin. She’s dreamed of owning her own coffee shop since she started working at that little cafe uptown.” You gaze at the keys in your hand. “She’ll make better use of the space, I know it.”

SuA tilts her head at you.

“How is she?”

“Fine. Nothing that a pint of beer and a bit of therapy won’t fix.” You laugh to yourself. “How’s Siyeon?”

“A bit shaken up, but nothing major. Brushes with death are pretty common in our line of work.” 

“Well, for your sake and mine, I hope you’ll be a bit safer through your travels.” You bite your lip as SuA takes a step toward you.

“You’ll be thinking of me, even after we leave? How sweet.” SuA teases you before you retaliate.

“It’s not every day that I meet a girl as forthcoming, kind, and attractive as you.” You flirt back before taking a step towards SuA.

It’s in this moment that you realize how close you are to one another, and another step from one of you will cause your bodies (and hopefully your lips) to collide.

“If you keep sweet-talking me, I might not be able to leave.”

There’s a shred of honesty behind SuA’s flirting - she’s seriously considering staying for another night or two.

“Maybe that’s the idea,” You take a half-step forward, and you place a quick peck on her cheek, “but you have more people to save, no?”

“Unfortunately, I do, but I’m not ruining this moment.”

SuA pulls you closer by grabbing your hips, and before you have time to relax, her lips collide with yours. You immediately kiss her back as your hands land on her shoulders.

You only break off when you need air, and SuA looks at you with a proud smile.

“Maybe I’ll come back some day.” She lets go of you before pulling her aviators off of her head.

“Maybe.” You softly repeat as SuA climbs into the car.

Siyeon offers you a friendly wave before rolling down her window and handing you a piece of paper.

“For later, when you miss SuA.” She says before the Impala pulls out of the parking spot and heads back onto the road.

After the car leaves your field of vision, you look at the note in your hand.

Written in pen is SuA’s phone number, followed by a brief message:

For when you miss SuA, or if anything in this town ever requires our area of expertise. - Siyeon.

You smile to yourself.

Maybe you’ll call the Winchester girl and see if she’s free for a week or two in the future. Maybe you’ll call just to hear her voice and ask about her adventures. Maybe you’ll wait for her to track down your phone number and call you first.

maybe, maybe, maybe.

[panda-writes-kpop]

your home is the sea, my home is you ~ pirate! giselle

a/n: after almost seven months (good LORD), we have a third pirate aespa fic!!! and everyone cheered!!! this may be one of my favorite works of the year, there's something so tender and sincere in this fic that I can't quite put my finger on. anyways, gonna go watch Hugh Jackman edits on repeat until I get more fic ideas! 🫶

tw: mentions of robbery, violence, and other crimes associated with being a pirate, a LOT of swearing, the faintest hint of winselle, it's not angst but it gets sad at times???

summary: Your idea for your latest novel has you ruminating on your previous relationship with the woman who haunts your dreams, Giselle. Giselle's longing for a missing piece of her heart leads her to your front doorstep. She just has to hope that you won't close your heart to her, just as she did to you years ago.

♡ Masterlist ♡

A cool ocean breeze wraps around her neck as the chill of the night starts to seep into her bones. Every part of her is screaming to run, to go far away from the things that scare her.

But what is life without a little bit of adventure?

You watch the pendulum in your grandfather clock swing forward as the next words flow easily onto the paper.

She wanted to experience the adventure of the ocean, to let her heart travel with the ocean waves that beckoned her forward. But what was she to do? Abandon her family? Leave the familiarity of her hometown behind?

Leave them behind? The one person who supported them through thick and thin?

The pendulum swings back as you stare at the candlelight in your bedroom.

Rosella had a choice to make, one that would decide her entire destiny. A friend, or a lifetime of fulfillment?

Their call was strong, but the ocean’s was stronger. 

~

With one hand on your naval revolver and the other on your bag, your feet hit the ground with increasing frequency as you run towards the docks. You had a deadline to meet with your time and your writing. The traveling night market was in town tonight, and within their merry caravan of travelers was your editor. A shrewd old woman with a sharp tongue who had been your mentor since you had abandoned your studies to pursue writing as a career.

I would’ve stayed if Giselle stayed.

You shake your head at the thought of your childhood best friend - you were nothing but a fleeting nostalgic memory to her, so she should be the same to you.

The book, the market - I have to hurry.

Unfortunately, the night market only accepted incoming foot traffic until midnight, and according to your grandfather clock, it was a centimeter past eleven-fifty. Your home was ten minutes away from the docks - you’d be cutting it close if you were simply walking.

~

“You’re early.” The guard jokes as you pull out the business card that Merrin, your editor, gave to you. “She still edits your books?”

“As long as I keep writing them.” You fold your arms as the guard stares at the card. “Can I go in?”

“Try to make it quick - she’s in one of those moods again.” 

You pluck the card from their hand before waving at them.

“She’s always in a mood, but I have to hope that it’s a good one.”

You greet the various merchants and regulars that pass by you - most of them are familiar with your work, even if you use a moniker instead of your real name. It isn’t hard to deduce who the newest novelist on the block is when you know their publisher by name.

“When’s the new novel coming?” One shouts at you as you chuckle to yourself. “The last one really pulled on my heartstrings, and I need a bit of a pick-me-up before I go for a second read.”

“You’ll get your hands on it as soon as everyone else does.” You reassure them as they jokingly scoff and walk away.

Oh, the bliss of only being recognized by a small crowd of people.

You stop in front of the last tent on the docks - a large purple cloth hangs over the rods and poles that make up the foundation of the tent. Angry red vines dart over various parts of the tent, but none dare to cross each other.

You take a deep breath before entering the tent.

Hopefully her mood won’t sour mine.

“You’re earlier than usual. Did you get sick and tired of begging the guard to let you in until I would show up and save your ass?” Merrin, dressed in a conservative, frilly white dress, lights a candle with one hand as she balances on her cane with the other.

“Does your bad mood have to do with whoever’s wedding you interrupted?” You bite your lip as she slowly turns toward you.

“If my glasses were on me, I’d knock you to the floor with my cane.” She hobbles over to another table to light another candle as you approach the middle of the room. “And I thought this dress looks nice on me.”

“Yeah, if you were a fourteen-year-old noble who was forced to marry a man decades older than her.” Another sharp look from Merrin causes you to shut your mouth before she fulfills her early promise. “Are you in the mood to read something I’ve written?”

“Depends on if it’s better than the utter shit I’ve been reading all day.” Merrin sets her cane aside as she sits on one of the two chairs near the middle of the room. “Hand me my glasses, will you?”

“Don’t hit me with your cane, you old witch.” You pick her glasses up off of the floor before handing them to her.

“Why, I ought to-” She quickly grabs her cane, which causes you to immediately sit in the chair on her left.

You’re both playing with each other - she won’t hit you that hard, and you won’t completely piss her off. It’s just the way that Merrin is, and if you’re careful, you can break down her walls and see the woman behind the anger and sass.

As you look over to her, Merrin lightly taps your ankle with her cane as a rare smile appears on her face.

“How’s the novel coming? More progress than scribbles and midnight thoughts, I hope?” She looks surprised as you pull a bundle of parchment from your bag.

“I managed to get a chapter out, but it’s a rough draft, Merrin.” You remind her as you hand her the papers. “It isn’t very good-”

“-that’s for me to decide.” She says as she grabs the papers and adjusts the glasses on her face.

“I-” You interject before she gives you a pointed glare.

“Shut your damn mouth so I can read in peace.”

~

Sometimes you wonder why you chose Merrin as your editor - a form of punishment, perhaps?

That’s what you feel like you’re doing to yourself as she carefully scans every single word on the pages that you scribbled on. A spotlight has closed in on you, and you’re sweating under the pressure. What will you do if she rejects you again after this draft? Will you finally part ways with the woman who helped you find a path when you were nothing but an empty wanderer?

Merrin clears her throat as your attention snaps back to her.

She thinks it’s terrible - I’m never going to live this latest failure down.

“This is quite good.” She softly says as she reorganizes the papers for you.

“I beg your pardon?”

“And I thought I was the one with bad hearing, being old and all.” She snorts as you reach for the papers from her extended hand.

As soon as your hand touches them, Merrin snatches them out of your reach with a knowing smile.

“I have one question about the main character.” 

“Alright, lay it on me.” You sigh in relief as you can mentally prepare yourself for her critiques.

Rosella was hardly fleshed out, and she had little-to-no dialogue to give perspective into her motivations, ideals, and personality. Perhaps Merrin could help you with that?

“What woman inspired you to write Rosella?” She asks as you furrow your brows in confusion.

“Excuse me?”

“Answer the damn question.”

“I, uh…” You nervously look around, trying to think of an escape route. “She’s based on a friend, from long, long ago.”

You stress that this woman was long behind you, and there was absolutely nothing to worry about. It’s not like she would show back up in your life after years and years of silence.

“Well, if you see this friend from a long, long time ago,” She stresses the words the same way you did, “tell her that she’s one hell of a protagonist.”

“I will.” You grit your teeth as your mind wanders to the woman in question.

I hope I never see her again.

~

Giselle scribbles various notes onto the map within the captain’s quarters. She used to be the primary navigator when the Red-Hair Pirates were nothing but an idea in Winter’s head.

“One day, this boat will be filled with pirates and friends we’ve collected in our travels,” Winter looked over to Giselle before placing a hand on her back, “and I’m going to need you to be by my side, every second of every day.”

Winter paused for a moment, before walking towards the ship and extending her hand to her.

“You have everything you ever need here - a good education, family, friends, and stability. I’m offering adventure until your heart's content, enough money to set your family up for life, and every kind of booze imaginable.”

“Even rum?” Giselle tilted her head at Winter, who gave her a toothy grin.

“Especially rum. So, are you in or what?”

“I’m in, I just… have to say some goodbyes first.”

Now, her role within the crew was more muddled, somewhat lying between weaponsmaster and navigator. Usually, she would sort out her navigating affairs in the morning, and then keep up with the weapons in the afternoon. The nighttime was reserved for merrymaking and hell-raising - just as Giselle liked it.

But there was a part of her missing, something she had been chasing with booze and adventure that couldn’t be replaced.

What was she missing?

“Giselle!” Karina barrels into the captain’s quarters as she nearly collides into the table.

“You’re still drunk.” She chuckles. “You can’t handle your liquor for shit.”

“And you prefer in that way, so you can scam me out of my money.” Karina scoffs before loudly hiccuping.

“Alright,” Giselle stops working and puts her hands up in the air, “I am a bit of a trickster, but we’re pirates, remember? It’s kind of our thing.”

“Eh.” Karina shrugs before throwing a book onto the desk where Giselle was working.

“What’s this?” 

She studies the book for a moment before looking at Karina

“A gift from the Captain. Winter says to come see her after giving it a read.” Karina stumbles out of the door before loudly shutting it.

“Riveting conversation with a drunk Karina, like usual.” Giselle mumbles to herself. “I wonder why Winter would want me to read this?”

Her hands gently trace the spine as she studies the author’s name in bold ink.

It’s not one she recognizes, but perhaps she might know the writing style? Curious, Giselle carefully opens the book and begins to read.

~

It was mid-afternoon before Giselle exited the captain’s quarters, much later than usual. When she does, she immediately charges towards her quarters in a fury.

It takes every bone in Giselle’s body to stop her from ripping her room to shreds to find the letters that she had locked away years ago.

The letters that reminded her of you. The letters that had the same cadence and writing style that you did. Those letters tied you to her, and, at the moment, pointed to you as the author.

More than that, Giselle had come to the realization that Winter knew that the two of you were connected.

And that was more terrifying than confronting someone from her past.

Giselle finds the letters under her bed, and they’re carefully tied together with a bit of rope. She snatches them within an instant, and she tucks them under her arm before beginning her journey to find Winter.

“Giselle!” Ningning calls out to her as Giselle appears on the upper deck. “I had a question about some of the knives that I found in the gunroom.”

“Not the time.” Giselle charges right past her as she spots Winter on the quarterdeck. 

“Is that the book Winter asked me to get you?” 

Giselle, with no hesitation, turns on her heel to face the assassin.

“Of course she did!” She sighs before turning around. “Am I the one finding this out last when it’s my business?”

“If it comforts you, I didn’t ask for any details. I just grabbed the book and gave it to her.” Ningning plays with a knife in her hand as Giselle tightly squeezes the book in her left hand.

“Thanks.” She grumbles before calling out to Winter, “Hey, you have some explaining to do!”

“As do you!” Winter copies her volume, but she waits until Giselle comes closer to begin speaking in a softer tone. “Are they the reason why you tried to send letters back to your hometown from the different ports that we stopped in?”

“You knew about that?” Giselle stares, absolutely befuddled.

“I know when my friends aren’t themselves. I did a little digging, and I found a gold vein.” Winter looks out to the ocean. “You could’ve told me, you know. We could’ve worked something out.”

“But you needed me-”

“-I did, but I wouldn’t have asked you to come if I knew that your loyalties lied with someone else.”

Giselle physically deflates before confessing the truth to Winter.

“So you know that I was a part of the naval academy before I joined you.” Giselle looks away in shame, like a small puppy. “They were too, but we quit together-”

“-so you could chase your dreams together. You, an acclaimed mapmaker. Them, an accomplished novelist. Do I have the narrative right?” Winter raises an eyebrow at Giselle.

Not quite.

“I loved them.” Giselle bites her lip. “I love them.”

Panic covers Giselle’s face as she opens her mouth to speak.

“There it is,” Winter smirks before yelling to the crew, “Set sail to the west.”

“I’m doing you a favor, mind you. You need to figure this out before it ends with you getting yourself killed. I can’t stand to watch my crewmate, my friend, drink herself into an early grave.”

“So we’re doing this?” Giselle asks.

“You’re doing this.”

~

“The pirates are coming! The pirates are coming!” A man on a horse repeats the same phrase over and over as he passes by your estate.

Pirates? Here? Why?

No, it can’t be those pirates.

Your head snaps towards the nearest window that faces the docks. In the distance, you can see a large pirate show approaching your humble town.

And wouldn’t you know it, the flag on the ship shows a dead skull sporting some fire-red hair.

The Red-Hair Pirates.

The crew that Giselle’s a part of.

Shit.

You can see a group of villagers approach the docks from your side, and you’re sure a fight will break out - no, a bloodbath will occur - if someone doesn’t get down there and stop it.

Maybe that naval training will come into use.

~

“Your kind isn’t welcome here.” A villager points a large shotgun at Winter’s chest, and she seems unphased by his outburst.

“We’re not here to loot, we just want to rest.” She pulls out a gold coin and flips it into the air before grabbing it and offering it to the villager. “Our coin is good here, no?”

“I-” He pauses before studying the coin. “One night. And the only place that you can shop is the night market.”

“That sounds like our kind of place, right?” Winter turns to her pirates, who cheer loudly. “I’ll make sure they’ll behave, I swear.”

“You better.” He scoffs before spitting at the ground. “C’mon, we have better things to do than guard open docks.”

The villagers disperse, which causes Giselle to sigh in relief.

That’s a battle I didn’t want to fight.

“Alright, everyone, back on the ship until nightfall. We aren’t welcome here until then, so this boat better be spotless in a few hours!” Winter commands, and her crew scrambles back onto the ship as Winter pulls Giselle aside. “Do you know where you’re going?”

“I do, and I don’t need backup. I’ll be back before nighttime.” Giselle softly says before Winter grabs her shoulder.

“I’d like to meet your friend, if they want to meet me. Perhaps it can help explain why you left - take some of the blame off of your shoulders,” Winter shrugs, “Or I can just have a drink with a friend and a friend of a friend. Either works for me.”

They’re… leaving?

“Not sure I’d call us friends, but I’ll see what I can do.”

~

You watch from a distance as the villagers, your neighbors, disperse with varying emotions on their faces. Some look relieved, others seem pissed, but most appear to be indifferent.

As if killing another wasn’t a brutal act that weighed on your soul for as long as you lived.

A woman with striking red hair turns to the pirates on the dock, and with only a few words, she sends them back onto the ship.

Their captain - Winter, the pirate queen of myths and legends.

Infamous doesn’t even begin to describe Winter, as her face was neatly plastered on every wanted board across the nation. Her reputation of brutality nearly exceeds her generosity and kindness. She took from the rich government ships and gave to the poor towns that she traveled to.

Almost like a storybook character. Perhaps my next protagonist can take some of her qualities.

Before all of her crew can go back to the ship, Winter pulls one of them aside. A girl with blonde hair, but a face that you recognize. Not from the wanted posters that showed her with black hair and a devilish yet charming smile.

But a ghost from your past, the woman who you were hoping to escape from. The girl who had invaded your dreams every night since she left.

Your Rosella.

Giselle.

You want to turn away, to run back to the safety of your home, but you can’t. Not because you want to see Giselle, but because she’d follow you back home.

After all, it was her home too.

With a deep breath, and as much courage as you can muster, you let your feet carry you towards Giselle.

Towards your destiny.

Giselle’s eyes widen as she sees you walking towards her with an unreadable expression on your face. You’re not completely pissed, which is good, but you don’t look happy. You’re not sad, but there isn’t any longing in your eyes. There’s no indifference in your face, but when your eyes meet hers, a twinkle of nostalgia appears briefly.

~

Perhaps you missed her as much as she missed you.

“You look…” Giselle pauses as the two of you meet in the middle of the road. “Well.”

“Thanks.” You nod before looking out to the ocean. “I like your blonde hair. It suits you.”

“Thanks…” Giselle trails off while hoping that the road would open up and swallow her whole.

Why was it so hard to talk to you? She thought of a million things to say to you, but none of them seemed right.

So let’s start with the simplest one.

“I’m sorry.”

When the words leave her lips, you look over in surprise.

As if you thought that she meant to hurt you.

A dagger slices through her heart, as the wound that is your shared history is reopened again. She’s going to let herself drown in bad blood unless she says something else.

Something that will make this right.

Nothing will, she knows this. But why not try?

“I’m sorry for leaving you with such a shitty goodbye. I’m sorry for convincing you to leave the naval academy with me and then leaving you behind. I’m sorry that I never was able to return your letters.” She pauses to hand you them.

“You kept them?” You tilt your head at her. “After all of these years?”

“Of course I did.” She says before softly laughing. “It was the only reminder I had of home.”

“I thought the sea was your home.” 

“No, my home was always you.” Giselle quietly mumbles. “I wanted to explore, to see the world, but I wanted to come back home.”

“Why didn’t you write me back?” Your voice is laced with hurt, and Giselle wants nothing more than to hold you in her arms.

But you’re not that close, not anymore.

“I tried to, but no letter carrier would take my money. Turns out that people aren’t fond of pirates,” She scoffs, “but I kept them all in my quarters. Perhaps you’d like to see them?”

A light smile appears on your face - you’re actually contemplating her offer.

“Would you like to see the home first? I don’t know if it has changed much-”

“-that sounds great.” Giselle lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

A peace offering. An olive branch. Perhaps you can begin anew?

~

Months ago, you would’ve sworn at Giselle if she had set foot in your town, let alone in your house. That was before you finished the book, before a character in that book taught you something about forgiveness.

“Will you ever forgive me, my dear?” Rosella says to her beloved. “I know it’s been years, but I can’t help but yearn for you. Our souls are intertwined, and no amount of treasure will ever make up for losing you.”

“I… I don’t know. I don’t know if I can ever truly forgive and forget, but…”

“But?” A flicker of hope appears in Rosella’s eyes.

“But maybe there’s room for us to start again. If we’ve both healed from our past wounds, then what’s the use of bringing them up again?”

You watch Giselle comb over your bookshelf as you take a seat in the living room. 

“You really didn’t change this place, huh?” She says before sitting at a chair on the opposite end of the room.

“It didn’t feel right. This is still your home, after all.” You say.

“Our home,” Giselle corrects you before her eyes widen, “shit. I didn’t mean to-”

You wave away her concerns with a charming smile.

“No, it’s alright.”

An awkward silence spreads over the room - what should you say to her now?

“Do I make you uncomfortable?” Giselle softly asks before looking in your eyes. “I don’t want to intrude if I’m not welcome.”

You take a deep breath - it’s time to address the massive elephant in the room.

“Giselle, I don’t want to do this back-and-forth with you. I want to talk about what happened between us.” 

You’re surprised at how mature you sound, how non-malicious your words are. You had gone over this moment a thousand times in your head, but none of them were this nice or friendly.

“What is there to talk about? I ruined your life, no, our lives. I promised you that pirating was only a temporary thing, and you can see how that ended-”

“It pains me to see you tear yourself up about this, Giselle.” You calmly say as she pauses and reflects for a moment. “How can we move forward if we’re stuck reliving the past over and over?”

“You want to start again?” 

Giselle looks dumbfounded as you nod.

“We might not be that close again, not for a long time, but we can try being friends. Then we’ll see where it goes.” You shrug your shoulders as she thinks for a moment before responding.

“Why would you let me get away with what I did to you? I left you alone for years, with not a word of my health and well-being. Why put yourself through that again?”

You chuckle to yourself as familiar words come to the front of your mind.

“Maybe there’s room for us to start again. If we’ve both healed from our past wounds, then what’s the use of bringing them up again?”

“From your book.” She responds wistfully before her eyes widen. “You wrote yourself as the love interest?”

“Uh-huh.” You nod as the realization comes crashing down on Giselle.

“And the girl, Rosella, who is strong, beautiful, and kind. The girl who messes up time after time yet she still manages to redeem herself - that’s me?”

“Yup.” You’re quiet for a moment, to allow Giselle to process everything. “Do you know why I chose you as my inspiration?”

“Why?” She leans forward as her voice quivers in anticipation. “Why me?”

“Because no matter how much I hated you, I could never get you out of my head. You haunted my every dream and nightmare. I couldn’t escape your grasp, so I wrote about the woman who had completely transfixed my mind, body, and soul.” 

A breathy chuckle escapes your lips.

This is just like a confession that I would write in my book. The next thing she would say is I love you-

“I never stopped loving you.” She confesses before standing up.

You stand up to meet her gaze.

“Neither did I.”

~

“To be completely honest,” Winter says as you and Giselle approach the docks, “I didn’t expect you to come back.”

“You’re still my captain, Winter.” She smiles before gesturing to you. “This is my friend, the one I told you about.”

“Friend,” She stares at your intertwined hands, “right. Excuse my staring. It isn’t every day that you meet an author of legend.”

You feel your cheeks heat up.

“Ah, that’s sweet of you to say.” You nudge Giselle’s shoulder. “Why can’t you be as charming as her?”

“Hey-” She tries to defend herself, but Winter’s laughter cuts her off.

“Oh, I like them. They’d be a good addition to our crew.”

Your mouth hangs agape as you blink rapidly.

“You… you can’t be serious.”

“I’m afraid so, unless Giselle objects?” Winter turns to Giselle, who glances at you.

“It’s your decision. I won’t force it on you-”

“Yes,” You quickly answer, “but I’m not sure what use I would be to your crew.”

“We could use your writing and organizing skills to keep track of weapons, finances, maps, food, and other supplies on the ships. That means that you would be working closely with Giselle and I.” Winter explains as you nod along. “Plus there would be plenty of time for you to continue writing your latest masterpiece. I know you’re good with a gun - I can see the Navy’s engravings on the handle, so combat won’t be an issue for you.”

You quickly hide your gun holster with your coat.

“I hope you don’t take offense to my weapons background,” You say before leaning over to Giselle, “how the fuck does she know all of that?”

“Long story, I’ll explain after a drink or two,” Giselle whispers back, “but I’m glad that you’re going with us. It’ll be nice to show you to all of the places that we’ve been before.”

“Got it.” You smile before letting go of Giselle’s hand.

She reaches out to grab it, but you instead maneuver around her hand to give her a kiss on the cheek.

“I, um…” She struggles to articulate her feelings as a furious blush appears on her face.

Winter laughs loudly before gesturing towards the ship.

“We still have a few hours before nightfall. Perhaps we can celebrate with a drink?”

“Sounds good. You in?” You ask Giselle, who can’t even look you in the eyes.

“Yeah, I’ll be there.” Her face is still red as Winter walks to the ship.

“Feel free to join me when you’re ready.”

You go to follow behind her, but Giselle stops you by catching your arm with her hand.

“Hey, I-” She pauses to regain her composure, “Thank you, for this. I needed it.”

“It really isn’t a problem,” You say before leaning in to tease her, “but don’t expect me to kiss you every time you need a pick-me-up.”

“Damn, you know my schemes before I can properly plan them.” Giselle smirks before pulling you closer. “But I can always kiss you, right?”

She closes the distance between your lips before quickly pressing a kiss to your neck.

“Tease.” You grumble as she leans back.

“You started it, and I ended it.” She shrugs before her hand slips into yours. “We shouldn’t keep Winter waiting - we don’t want her to have a bad impression of you, right?”

You nod as Giselle leads you on to the ship.

As her crewmates greet you and welcome you onto the ship, you wonder if this new chapter of your life will be something to write about.

Maybe it’s time for my story to be told.