trying on a metaphor
roma★
Stranger Things
will byers stan first human second
tumblr dot com
DEAR READER
Monterey Bay Aquarium
if i look back, i am lost
Origami Around
sheepfilms
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
oozey mess
JVL
taylor price
almost home
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
tannertan36
shark vs the universe
Misplaced Lens Cap
Mike Driver
seen from United States
seen from Lithuania
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from Sweden
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Switzerland
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Switzerland
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
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@pandaazul
If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday it could also be known as “2’s Day”
CLUB GOIN UP
ON A
̶̴̲̜͚̲͍̺̰̠͓̰̳̖̞̙̥̻̪͟２̶̛͍̖͙̥̹͍̰͕̘͖̤̮̙͔̝̣̠͡͠＇̧̨͉̭͙͔̗̻̹̣͙̱̜̝͍̹͙͙Ｓ̶̷̲̠̥̘̱̼̮̞̥̥̭̕͢͠ ̡̖͎̹͙͍͙͈̞̲͠͝ͅ ̛͏͞҉̤̪͔͙̥̪̬̭ͅͅＤ̡͍̥̝̻͍͕̭̠̳̺̯͖͢͞Ａ̵̡̧̯͔̭̹͍̰̫͍̘̝̺Ｙ̢̙͙̥̣̬̗̱͓̠̹̝̟̤͟͡͠
……I just got elected for a student government position I never ran for and had no idea I was even on the ballot for. It would seem that lots of people like me, but ??????
DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE
i love how it takes .08 seconds for me to determine whether or not a fic is good. like with regular literature sometimes you’ve gotta dig into it to figure out if you really wanna read this thing but when u got ao3 open at 3 am u just know. u just gotta read 3 lines and u know
Top 5 curve of all time.
I just snorted water out of my nose
LMFAOOOOO.
Truth Coming Out of Her Well to Shame Mankind (2016)
No Justice (Fire) - Fire Emblem Fates ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK
Imagine living in the Pokémon world.
Imagine you’re hanging out with one of your buddies one night. A good friend you’ve known for several years.
It’s just a casual day out and the two of you are chatting, telling jokes, showing each other memes. At some point in the day, for no reason in particular, an idea comes to you. “Hey, let’s see what the pokédex has to say about you,” you say as joke, and emphasize the joke by actually pulling out your pokédex.
You don’t actually know what would happen if a ‘dex tries to register a human. Maybe it will glitch out, or crash, but most likely you’ll just get some sort of error message. Without giving your friend a chance to react, you hold the device up to them and push the button. You wait a few seconds for the scan to complete, and then hear in a small, robotic voice,
“Zoroark, the illusion fox pokémon.”
Okay, I want a superhero story in which the superhero is one of those ‘normal kid gets superpowers through freak accident’ and goes out and fights crime, and of course runs into the supervillain at some point and tries to take them down. And the villain, a couple minutes into the fight, realizes they’re fighting a literal child and just has an internal freak-out about this new development. Because, fine, I’ve got plans to steal all of the world’s largest gems and I’m generally not a nice person, but holy fuck there’s a kid coming at me. This is a kid. I can’t with this.
So the supervillain instead of trying to kill/hurt their nemesis goes through all these complicated plans to trap them or put them to sleep or stick them in a large tank or something so they can go ahead with it. Sometimes it works and the supervillain spends a harried half hour lecturing the superhero about maybe going to school and being safe instead of doing this, that would be nice.
The supervillain staying up at night occasionally wondering if the tiny superhero is out there trying to get themselves killed right this moment. The supervillain sending supervillain henchmen ninjas out to tail the superhero and help out if it ever looks like the superhero is going to get killed. The supervillain takes to pacing around and muttering to themselves occasionally about PARENTING and RESPONSIBILITY and how they never signed up for this shit. Actually petitioning their version of the Justice League to have someone step in and do something about this, that kid has to be like twelve and what is everyone thinking???? Bonus points if the kid has no parents and the villain finds this out and spends a night internally screaming about it.
Basically I want a supervillain unwittingly becomes the super worried parent of the kid who is actively trying to foil their every plan and topple their evil regime.
did i ever tell u that siegbert is one of my favorite child characters
I had this girl in my class and she was considered to be like really dumb. She’d ask a ton of doubts and questions in class, which everybody would consider to be “stupid"and “silly” and even the teachers would often taunt her but she’d never stop asking. But the thing was that she’d almost always top the class examinations and everyone was like???? They all thought she was cheating and stuff and obviously even the teachers were very biased because she wasn’t so ‘smart’ in class, and she was regularly accused of cheating. But nobody could prove that she was actually cheating but the whole class and teachers totally believed that she did. I’m pretty socially awkward so I never really talked to her, but she was leaving school this year and I was genuinely curious about how she was so good during exams and how she didn’t let everyone’s remarks affect her. She always used to sit and hang out with only one girl, and she told me that that friend of hers was severely socially anxious and she’d lag in studies because she couldn’t bring herself to ask doubts in class or ask for help from others. So they had this system where during lectures her friend would write down any question she had, and she would ask them for her. And I was just so touched??? Idk but it really changed the way I looked at people?? This girl endured taunts and jeers and borderline bullying for being “stupid” when she was actually really smart and could easily have refused to ask such doubts for her friend but she did?? And brushed off everything others would throw at her for her friend?? I was just, idk it just really changed me in some way.
garlic memes??? i feel like his has such a niche audience but i feel it
my type of content
scar’s brother was ultra hot and im so mad he is dead
I JUST REALIZED THAT I SHOULD CLARIFY THAT I AM WATCHING FMA: BROTHERHOOD AND I AM NOT IN FACT LUSTING AFTER MUFASA, SCAR’S DEAD BROTHER IN THE LION KING
the best part of being an adult is watching your friends also be adults
fite him
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
IM LITERALLY CRYING EVERYONE IS LIKE “being a lawyer is so prestigious herher” BUT THESE ARE THE MOST IDIOTIC, STUPID THINGS I HAVE EVER READ
Was Ace Attorney actually onto something…?
@itschildofthefairies @chibicrow it’s baaaack
