fiorentino fireball

[pandemoliver-blog]

hi yall! for those of you that still follow this blog, i just wanted to say thank you sm for my time at with the band. you were all wonderful rp partners. i'm clearly not welcomed back as i was blocked by the main less than an hour after leaving but you're all more than welcome to stay in touch here or over discord. much love ♡

[pandemoliver-blog]

geetahvrrison‌:

❝ i’m about to break your heart, ❞ geeta announced, her face scrunched up in an apologetic expression. she offered him a smile, as if to soften the blow she was about to deliver. ❝ i’m not uh…really a fan of mamma mia, ❞ she ended her sentence like it was a question, knowing her opinion was the unpopular one. ❝ i’ll take a fry, though. ❞

waiting for the almost punchline about why his heart was about to be broken, oliver paused his chewing and lifted his brows. pure curiosity turned complete scandal upon her admission. “what? are you joking? how can you not like the most important piece of film history.” he spoke dramatically and rushed with his mouth half full. gross, oliver. he swallowed and pushed the fries across. “almost enough to make you lose your appetite. what’s your favourite movie then, dollface? v for vendetta? the notebook? love actually?”

[pandemoliver-blog]

imessage ↝ fuckwit !

nikolai: the sheer amount of truth in that statement is astounding.

nikolai [unsent]: you're lucky you're not paid to be a fucking actor

nikolai [unsent]: acting like it bloody takes space technology to detect how not fine you are

nikolai: oh? both eyes! double the gifting. that's truly generous of you, fuckwit.

nikolai [unsent]: maybe after you punch me you ca

nikolai [unsent]: would a florence and the machine reference be appropria

nikolai: it'll take more than two swings to do that.

oliver: strive for honesty

oliver [unsent]: like honesty about how i feel about you. feelings and stuff romanti

oliver [unsent]: honest about how madly i'm in lust and love with you but no big deal

oliver: oh, you know me, i'm ever so generous

oliver [unsent]: just like id be generous with my

oliver: triple the gift. two black eyes and you get to see me. the gift that keeps on giving

oliver [unsent]: i'd keep on giving it to you

oliver: yeah, i'd hold you down and make sure i got both

[pandemoliver-blog]

imessage ↝ fuckwit !

nikolai: you're always fine?

nikolai [unsent]: no arguing that

nikolai [unsent]: the aesthetic definition

nikolai: if that's the solution, punching my freaking face in can be arranged.

nikolai: just choose which eye to blacken wisely. personally, i reckon bruising goes much better with blue.

oliver: yep. always fine. there's fine and there's not fine. i'm always the former.

oliver [unsent]: you fucking twa

oliver [unsent]: in which punching you is a metaphor for sucki

oliver: i fucking hate you so much. due to that, i've decided to go with both eyes

oliver: i'm gonna blacken both eyes to wipe that stupid smirk off of your damn face.

[pandemoliver-blog]

text | oliver & bean

bean: privacy is fake, just ask mark zuckerberg. facebook know all about breaches of privacy

bean: to be fair they weren't half bad so y'know. i'd play those.

bean: i'll never believe you. ever.

bean: oh, for sure. we have great sex. every night, ollie. e v e r y n i g h t. i'm surprised you don't hear us, actually.

oliver: i'm mad at you, i'm not about to launch into one of my favourite conspiracies cause it'll distract me

oliver: well, you can fucking have them cause they mean jackshit to me

oliver: why tf not?????????

oliver: shut up. shut the fuck up. i don't want to hear about it. it's probably because i was gifted with six sisters and i'm a heavy sleeper

[pandemoliver-blog]

benodell‌:

@pandemoliver

This week was terrible for Ben, he was late to just about every rehearsal the band had, and today he just didn’t show up. For some reason, he couldn’t find it in him to leave his home. After dragging himself out of bed, he retreated to his living room, grabbed a Red Bull from his fridge, and put a random vinyl on his record player. It was a sorry sight, he was still in the sweatpants he slept in, and it was around three in the afternoon. 

oliver barely knocked, knuckles skimming the wood of the door before he opened it right up anyway. when it came to his band, he didn’t see the need to dish out privacy when he wasn’t granted the same in return. ”you look like hell. at least put on clean sweatpants and drink something that isn’t full of sugar, asshole.” he pulled open the curtains nearby. he was a bit of a whirlwhind, really. heading in uninvited to open curtains and judge his lifestyle. it was like a really shitty version of a makeover show. “why weren’t you at rehearsal? explain. now.”

[pandemoliver-blog]

imessage ↝ fuckwit !

nikolai: objectively.

nikolai [unsent]: you think i'm hot. in a fucking objective way? is that even

nikolai: we have not shagged. if i wanted to bang her, i would have just done it already.

nikolai [unsent]: but i don't want to bang her, i want to bang y

nikolai: are you fine? truly?

nikolai [unsent]: if you need someone to talk to

nikolai [unsent]: i've been in your position before and it's inglorious but if there's anything i can do, just

nikolai [unsent]: you idiot, what's really happeni

nikolai [unsent]: i don't know what i can

nikolai: somehow i find that difficult to believe.

nikolai [unsent]: if you could just bloody swallow your damn pride and tell me what to do to help you, then maybe

nikolai: tell me what to do.

nikolai: just fucking tell me.

oliver: yeah, objectively. want me to send you the fucking definition?

oliver [unsent]: you're just hot do i need to spell that out for you

oliver: and why wouldn't you want to bang her? neither of you deny it and like i said, both objectively fit.

oliver [unsent]: or bang me instead

oliver: i'm always fine. why wouldn't i be??

oliver: tell you what to do are you serious?

oliver [unsent]: come over

oliver [unsent]: idk just.. kiss my damn face or someth

oliver [unsent]: stop being so fucking frustrating and making me just wanna grab y

oliver: i dont fucking know, nikolai.

oliver: why should i tell you what to do? i don't know! all i know is that i wanna punch your freaking face in for being so... frustrating, you stupid fucking ass.

[pandemoliver-blog]

imessage ↝ fuckwit !

nikolai: why would i be bedding bean?

nikolai: i actually don't care. you

nikolai [unsent]: you don't deserve to be

nikolai [unsent]: it upsets me when you're sad and

nikolai [unsent]: you've got a fucking decent heart in there, alright? and i

nikolai [unsent]: can you stop being a fucking prick for a fraction of a bloody second and realize that you

nikolai [unsent]: i hate this. stop making me feel like

nikolai: misery's not a good look on you. that's it.

oliver: cause you're both hot and it'd make sense that you'd wanna bang or something idk

oliver: objectively

oliver [unsent]: anything is a good look on you and i

oliver [unsent]: why can't you just fucking understand how much i hate your eyes and your face and the fact that i know somewhere under all of your manager vs you care

oliver: right.

oliver: i guess it isn't. but i'm fine. or at least i will be.

oliver [unsent]: this isn't exactly just about me and bean it's about the fact that i'm

oliver: doesn't matter anyway.

[pandemoliver-blog]

imessage ↝ fuckwit !

nikolai: i'm not confirming it. assuming is something vapid people do because they lack the brain capacity to generate informed conclusions.

nikolai: if your narrative holds true, i shouldn't have to, actually. i've apparently got someone to do that for me.

nikolai: you were not quite happy. you were miserable.

nikolai: still are. what's festering got you? a fat lot of bullshit. misery is ugly. oozes like the plague. infests others. affects the band.

nikolai: enlighten me for a moment, oliver. what's the point in strifing when you can just communicate like a grown fucking adult?

oliver: would you not say that the evidence i have so far is a fair conclusion?

oliver: enough of the psychology bs anyway. this conversation was you asking what was going on and i've told you.

oliver: maybe i was miserable. what do you care?

oliver: i get it. my angsty bullshit is once again getting in the way of a good rep in the press. or a quiet life for you instead of a pr nightmare.

oliver: fine, what do you want me to say to communicate like a grown fucking adult? huh? i fucking told you that bean and i had beef and that it'd be done soon. what more do you fucking want from me?

[pandemoliver-blog]

imessage ↝ fuckwit !

nikolai: i don't give a rats arse why you were late. you were late. five minutes, an hour, it's immaterial. late is late is late.

nikolai: you're so adamant that she's sleeping with me. i'd almost find it endearing, if you weren't being such a douchecanoe about it.

nikolai: i'm being dramatic, eh? then why's it feel like i've successfully tuned my mobile in to the latest episode of geordie shore?

nikolai: it concerns the band and the band is my concern. i reckon that's obligation.

oliver: late is late, sure. but five minutes is literally nothing. an hour is enough time to rehearse half a set. five minutes isn't even enough time to plug in all the instruments.

oliver: well, you're not denying it, are you? i walked in on the two of you in bed. i think it's safe to assume. why the fuck would it be endearing?

oliver: oh, go fuck yourself.

oliver: you opened up this whole can of worms. i was quite happy not discussing any of this shit but you pressed it.

[pandemoliver-blog]

imessage ↝ fuckwit !

nikolai: yes. five extra minute's worth of paying lighting, sound, tech, and venue to play bloody candy crush does not warrant anger. silly, silly me. so sorry to offend.

nikolai: cut the fucking "sides" bullshit, oliver. this isn't nursery, you twat.

nikolai: as manager, it's part of my job to manage this band's idiocy. at the moment, that's you.

nikolai: pandemonium has enough turbulence without contributions from yours and beans' fucknado. you're quite clearly that stupid if you think this hasn't already impacted the group.

oliver: then use the time wisely. vocally warmup, get the setup ready. did you even listen to why i was late before you opened your mouth? doubt it. five minutes is nothing, i could've been an hour late.

oliver: fuck off, nikolai. cut the sides thing? i would if it weren't clear where yours clearly laid. or where YOU clearly laid.

oliver: solely me. well, i suppose i have some grovelling to do, huh? better get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness.

oliver: oh wait, sorry, the down on their knees position is filled in your life, right?

oliver: it hasn't impacted the group, you're just being dramatic. we'll talk when bean respects my privacy. not that i'm obligated to share what's going on with you.

[pandemoliver-blog]

text || oliver & absolute flirt

kieran: oKAY LOOK

kieran: that was one time

kieran: and i still think that guy was into it so 💁

kieran: to each their own ig

kieran: just know ur missing out imo

kieran: on that dick stuff 🍆

kieran: bean can go suck a dick herself if shes gonnna start shit tbh

kieran: but i dont think she will

kieran: actually

kieran: why do u think think shes sucking nikos dick again??

kieran: but ty i do like to think of myself as p experienced in the art of blowjobs 😏

kieran: just hmu if u ever change ur mind lmao 😉😉

oliver: one time too many

oliver: THINK he was into it. if it was a fiorentino pickup line? you'd KNOW they were into it.

oliver: i mean, i have one of my own so i'm not really missing out. but uh.. thanks for the info.

oliver: she just IS i can feel it.

oliver: besides, i walked into her room the other day and they were asleep in bed together. kinda says it all. somethings going on there and it's total bullshit.

oliver: but idc. she does what she wants. he does what he wants.

oliver: why, cause ud be willing to blow me at any given time?

[pandemoliver-blog]

text | oliver & bean

bean: privacy is fake

bean: privacy is a LIE

bean: i mean, probably not, to be fair. they were decent lyrics, though.

bean: i probably am delusional yeah, but not about this!! you can't stand to be in the same room as him cause you wanna tear his clothes off and gaze into those heterochromatic eyes of his lovingly

bean: wow. if only i believed you.

oliver: privacy is NECESSARY. but clearly you can't keep your nosey self OUT.

oliver: you thought they were decent? not bad for a bathroom bang limerick.

oliver: trust me, if i were ripping off someone's clothes? i doubt what we'd do would be just staring into one another's eyes. that's ridiculous. also, no, just no. the thought of it makes me want to vomit. how many times do i have to tell you its BS before you believe me?

oliver: besides, you're the one banging him.

[pandemoliver-blog]

imessage ↝ fuckwit !

nikolai: oh no! an unlocked door! the horror! a mortal sin!

nikolai: while i do enjoy a good insult, i hardly think this exchange warrants such anger.

nikolai: all i've asked is that you and bean sort your shit. don't compromise the band's image for trivial matters.

oliver: the unlocked door isn't the only issue

oliver: not being funny or anything but you yelled at me the other day because i turned up to rehearsal five minutes late. so you're not one to talk about unwarranted anger

oliver: me and bean don't have any shit. we're not talking. simple. of course you'd take her side

oliver: it isn't up to you what's trivial and i didn't ask for your damn opinion on if it's trivial or not. and it won't compromise the band's image, do you really think i'm that stupid?

[wtb-bandslam]

do you think anyone's hiding any dirty little secrets?

between you and us, we do. we really think PANDEMONIUM’s oliver could be hiding something, we’re just not sure what. he seems to sneak around a lot. he’s not the only secretive one, though. some other honorable mentions of those we feel have something fishy going on are sage, nohemi aaand chet.

@pandemoliver, @nopesage, @nohemimorals, @thenewchet

[yafictionquotes]

[pandemoliver-blog]

text || oliver & absolute flirt

kieran: omg im gonna cry ollie that was almost sweet 😭

kieran: im only gonna believe its sweet so dont ruin this for me

kieran: i kno u love my lines dont lie to me 😉

kieran: srry ik ppl have their preferences i just love me some dick 🤷🤷

kieran: u couldve been bi idk

kieran: just testing the waters lmao

kieran: if u ever wanna experiment w/ guys tho i can help u out 😏

kieran: but yea ig ive given a lot of head?? tbh i prob have an oral fixation or smth

kieran: does that make me an expert? 🤔

kieran: y? u wanna experiment after all? 😏😏

oliver: almost. hang onto the almost.

oliver: i love your lines when they're thought out and not just. hey uhhhh are u a washing machine bc uh... you put me in a spin. finger guns.

oliver: because that's lame and i still think that to this day.

oliver: i'm glad you're a self professed dick lover. it's just not for me. i love girls.

oliver: uh. thanks. yeah i can uh... keep that in mind. maybe don't tell bean that, she'd go on about band fraternising or some shit

oliver: oral fixation and given a lot of head? more qualifications to be an expert than some have nowadays

oliver: i uh.. nah. i'm good. thanks.