Holific#1 - therealhmmlingle
// Hey guys holiday gift, for a loyal follower and friend. I had a lot to fit in into a five page limit. I hope it is okay! @therealhmmlingle
Trope: Finding your partner on the brink of death.
Warnings: hypothermia, panic attacks, deprecating thoughts.
“Uh… Hey Roman? I am gonna have to show up late tonight. Something happened at work and they need me to come in.” Virgil sighed sadly, fidgeting in discomfort with the box in his pocket. Where it had been for a few months. He had only just paid it off enough to take it with him.
It had cost him the heat in his apartment, if it had not been for Philip, his and Roman’s dog, he would have froze. It cost most the food he had in his apartment. He didn’t care. After all, it was December, Christmas eve. In a few days, It would all be worth it. The late nights, early mornings,and busy weekends. It would finally all work out.
“Virgil!” Came his partner’s sharp voice, snapping him out of his little trance.
“I’m here! Sorry princey.” The anxious adult said with a sigh. He hadn’t realized he had spaced out.
“Virgil I can’t do this anymore. Your never around! When you are you just sleep in my bed! We don’t talk like we used to and now you can’t even keep your promise to spend the holiday with me? Because of work? Don’t bother coming tonight. I’ll be by to pick up Philip tomorrow. What is the point in being in a relationship with someone who isn’t there?”
“Ro, sto-” The phone went dead in Virgil’s ear leaving the man in stunned silence. All this time, four years. Gone. Virgil felt numbed. This couldn’t be happening. He got up and dressed. He did not work his ass off to let this entire thing fall apart. He gathered up Philip and the flowers he had purchased for Roman the night before.
He rushed to his car his mind flooding with fear. Fears that he tried to push at bay with the stereo of the car. Turning it up so loud he couldn’t hear his thoughts. The anxious man tossed his phone on the seat so it wouldn’t be uncomfortable in his pocket. Virgil peeled out of the parking lot from his apartment complex and onto the back roads of the area.
Roman’s home was a bit far,but for a man as extravagant and popular as him, Virgil could understand him wanting his home to be a bit secluded, so he didn’t have to have a public face on when he opened the door every day. That was enough to start spiraling, things as simple as how fast Roman could move on, how Virgil could be too little too late, and he could easily be fired from his job for calling off last minute. Virgil had sucked as a worker lately, he understood that.
Virgil sucked at everything, he couldn’t even function as an adult. There was no food,no warmth(besides a small space heater), soon he wouldn’t have a phone again and fuck if he knew when he would get it back if he got fired. He is a loser, and one that Roman Prince had already gotten rid of.
There was a skid on ice as he pulled to the side of the road threw the car in park. He climbed out of the car and shoved the door shut sinking to sit on the snow below his car window. Thoughts blurred together in a whirlwind, the rapid rise and fall of his chest fast. The beat of his heart against his ribs like a prisoner trying to escape. He realized how alone he was without Roman. It sent him reeling.
‘alonealonealone-notsafe-failure-fuckup-notsafenotsafe-broken-alone-I can’t-Ican’t- lose-losermistake-not-can’t-airairair-fuck-fault-can’t-my-alone-fail-nononono- Ro-’
Virgil’s panic continued for a solid fifteen minutes even after he was through the worst of it he leaned against his car, counting out his breaths. It was another ten minutes after that he realized he should get back on the road.However Virgil was exhausted, and he didn’t want to move even though his jeans were wet from the snow. Slowly he felt the exhaustion catching up to him. It wouldn’t be safe for him to drive. He stood up and pulled at the handle of his car. Nothing. Again.
“ No! Fuck!” Virgil hissed, as he heard Prince Philip bark from inside He hit the side of his window in frustration looking at the pup safe inside. He went to each door rapidly tugging at he handles as his dog followed him to each and every spot, like he always does.Therefore breaking a window was not going to work. At least not without hurting Philip.
Virgil glanced around the road, and grimaced when he realized he had no clue where he was. In his panic he hadn’t paid attention to the world about him. The anxious man swore in frustration and kicked his tires. He sat on his hood trying to think. There had to be some stupidly simple…who was he kidding? His phone was in the car he was locked out of nobody will look for him, he has no idea where he is and his love gave up on him.
Roman Prince was the master of being extra, the prince of drama. Sometimes it just happens it rolls over into his personal life. Such a rollover could lead to terrible decisions, like breaking up with a partner of four years because he got way too busy around the holiday season and slept whenever he came over. An impulse mistake. However he was an asshole and he committed.
Something Roman was well acquainted with.
Currently the actor paced around his lavish home hoping that Virgil would call him back. Even though he understood he didn’t deserve it in the slightest. A tricky thing with pride, it wouldn’t allow him to cave and admit such stupid mistakes. Even if they were irrational, and immature. In honesty, the actor had no idea why his partner had needed to take so many hours. Not when Roman had offered to pay his bills.
‘Just to get away from me, then.’ Roman thought to himself for the hundredth time that week. If Roman was being honest with himself, he knew Virgil was better off, Roman just wasn’t enough for him. The actor was way to loud and affectionate and chaotic and well hyper. Virgil was just…beautiful. Roman loved all the things that made him so different.
However it seemed everything that the actor tried to do made the other anxious or bored him, or frustrated him. It wasn’t fair to make Virgil that uncomfortable. Besides, Virgil was putting distance between them anyway. A mere coincidence that it came to a head at two p.m on Christmas eve.
Roman took a seat in his chair in the living room glancing at the tree in the far corner. He had looked forward another family holiday, before Virgil and Logan came along, it was just himself and Patton. Which was nice, but it wasn’t the big family event he wanted. There were no debates, no Variety, just cards from fair weather friends, and Patton watching movies and baking in his kitchen.
Virgil shivered slightly still sitting on his hood an hour later in the deserted back roads of wherever the hell he was. His head dropped into his hands. Philip still staring at him paws up in the dash warm air still blowing his golden fur. Virgil just started crying feeling the volume of his music vibrating the windshield. He didn’t have much energy. The broken man was cold and exhausted from the week. And it was back to just being him and- No he didn’t even have that. Logan was with Patton and would follow him. And Philip was gonna be…locked in this car tomorrow.
Why couldn’t he just get it right this one time?
Virgil felt the bitter wind bite his ears again. His car stuttering beneath him. A painful reminder he was supposed to get gas. “ Fu-fuck you too universe.” He said bitterly and he laid there as the car’s engine wound down to a halt beneath him. And he curled up on his side waiting, hoping that some asshole would drive by.
Roman jolted upright when his phone started to chime he practically dove across the room only to feel moderate dread when he saw Logan’s name. He answered hesitantly, “ Hello specs! How are you this afternoon?”
“ I am satisfactory Roman, I was gonna bring over the stuff Patton made for you and Virgil tonight is that okay?” Roman sighed softly, he was not ready to have this conversation.
“ Virgil isn’t coming over tonight, or for a while. We split up this morning.”
“ Oh, well that is unfortunate, I wonder why Virgil didn’t call me. then?”
“ He went to work instead of coming here pocket protector. Look you guys can come over later. “
“ Are you honestly that mad about my brother taking care of priorities?”
“ I am tired of never being a priority.”
“ Falsehood. You are one of the most important people in the world to him. He doesn’t trust that many people and if you’re going to brush him by for taking tender care of his independence I don’t know what to say.” Roman ended the call slamming it on the counter and sauntering to his room after grabbing the champagne from the bucket on the table.
He didn’t need to be yelled at by someone outside of the situation, how was that right?
Logan pulled his phone from his ear dialing Virgil’s number, walking upstairs to grab his keys. How dare Roman treat his brother that way? He said nothing to Patton as he passed, prompting a concerned look. He let his partner trail behind, Logan would explain momentarily.
“ Virgil please pick up…” He muttered to himself as he looked for the car keys, since they weren’t on the key hook. He turned to Patton, “ Patton, where did you leave the keys?”
“Hey, Happy Holiday’s, Logan, if this is you, text. I’ll get back to you. Roman, I love you I will call in a moment. If it is you popstar? Text me I got some puppy pics on standby. Anyone else? Wrong number.”
“ Virgil, that is not professional voicemail, we talked about this. Let me know you’re alright.”
Virgil could see the light of his phone screen light up with his brother’s face and grimaced as he watched as Philip barked and clawed at the phone for being loud. Virgil smacked a tired fist on the window as he continued to shiver. He had a little hope maybe they would realize he was gone.
His mind was trying to tell him something… something important but he was a bit confused. The hood was growing cold quickly, and he didn’t know what to do. He could follow the road, but if he did that, the broken man might get even more lost, there could be nothing. He only saw trees and road to the horizon basically. What if he couldn’t find his car again? What if he couldn’t find Philip again?
Virgil was deliriously deliberating with himself, and it was crippling him. His mind was mildly foggy and he didn’t feel vigilant and that was causing him to panic again.
Logan didn’t like the fact his brother didn’t answer his call, he wanted to drive down to the younger’s apartment. Virgil wasn’t one to let the voice mail get it. Even at work. Logan only called when it was important after all. So to hear the voicemail, it left a bad taste in his mouth.
Patton had stopped him, after all he was an adult. Logan waited for hours even though the concern on his partner’s face was ever growing. The sun had begun to dip behind the horizon when Logan stood up and walked to the door. “ I’m leaving, I would like your company, and an explanation why your expression is growing ever more somber. “
The younger partners grabs his coat from the coat hook, his hand, wavering as he heard Logan asked about his expression. “ Roman dumped him for not being around, Ro was complaining about it the last couple weeks… but Virgil was working to pay off an engagement ring. So I understood Virgil needing space during work. But he is off and should have called you.”
“ I uh I can’t believe my brother is uh is in a twisted version of 'The Gift of the Magi’. The irony, truly painful. Come along, it seems we are going to have to pull off a Christmas miracle.” Logan muttered as his partner let out a little squeal.
Logan pulled out his phone on the way to his car Patton climbing into the passenger seat. Logan waited for someone to answer the phone at Virgil’s work. A small breath of relief came when someone answered.
“ Hot topic Dan speaking can I help you?”
“ Dan, this is Virgil’s brother Logan, is he there still?”
“ Nah man he didn’t show up today, the manager is furious.”
“ Right, if he comes in tell him to call me. We haven’t seen him all day.” With that he hung up glancing at Patton, “ Virgil didn’t GO to work. Call your friend. Tell him to start calling Virgil or get up and look for him like us. “
Roman was staring up at the fairy light’s that wrapped around his ceiling. The unopened bottle of champagne by his side. He couldn’t do it, no he wouldn’t drink his problems away. He was not that person,never was. The actor heard his phone ring from the kitchen. The campfire song song, Patton’s favorite, he stood slowly and followed the damning noise down the stairs. It drew him in like an ominous siren song, drawing him to a swift execution.
His hand picked it up from the dining table, his eyes glanced at the burning candles almost burnt out before him. There was no hesitation as he answered his phone, assuming the same role he always did with Patton. The role of the happy best friend who didn’t have a care in the world. Except for the fact it crumpled around him “ Hola mi amigo, como estás?”
” Roman, Virgil never went to work today. He hasn’t answered Logan’s call and we are worried. Can you help us find him? He is probably devastated and we need to make sure he is okay. ”
This broke the character instantly for Roman, as mad as he was, he did love Virgil. “ Wh- wait-uh why would he be upset? He was the one putting distance between us?”
“ You absolute moron, if he is working a minimum wage job-”
“ No Patton. My brother has been missing for hours because this theater clown decided to be self righteous! A minimum wage job on a hallmark holiday that puts to shame hundreds of his class. He has a man he loves, and would want to give him a great gift. Roman I know you don’t understand, I am well aware of that-”
“I am leaving now, Logan, not arguing.” Roman piped up ending the call with no hesitation. He gathered his coat and keys. He didn’t know where Virgil was but he had to find him.
He called his ex in a panic as he sprinted down the driveway to his car.
Virgil was curled up in a ball on the cold hood of his car the gas had run out a small while ago. Which meant the thrum of the music was gone. He was in silence at least until the smooth bass of Roman’s voice singing to him tickled his ears. Philip immediately pawing at the screen. The tired man listened to the sweet sound as it hit his ears. If it was the last time, he was okay with that now. He bumped his fist against the windshield in a rhythmic manner
The broken man thought when the music cut off his love had been sent to voicemail but the tapping of his fist continued, as did the barking. Virgil normally looked, bit he was tired his body shaking apathy gripping him.
“Hey, Happy Holiday’s, Logan, if this is you, text. I’ll get back to you. Roman, I love you-. Click”. There was a moment of relief, though it was tainted with dread. Virgil answered his call, at least that was what Roman thought, until Philip barking was the majority of what he could hear.
“ Philip? What the hell? Where’s Virgil?” Roman said shocked at the absurdity of his dog answering. That was when he heard it, a very gentle thumping. Like Virgil was trying to get attention from him.
‘ If this works… I will stop teasing My Chemical Romance. I swear.’ The actor thought to himself before howling to get the dog to paw at the screen maybe he could get him to hit speaker. What happened next might have been a Christmas miracle, or simply just luck but he knew. He could never tease the band again. The thumping was clearer now.
“ Virgil? Are you there? “ There was a moment of silence but it was followed by a heavy thump thump. Heavier than it had been at least. Virgil was able to hear him but couldn’t vocally respond. Okay. “. Virgil. I need to know where you on the way to my house or work. One tap for me two taps for work.”.
“ Alright I am coming I am gonna drive and find you. Okay I am going to get off-” Roman was cut off from a thump of protest. Okay. The actor started singing as he drove around, very gentle song met with the rhythmic beating against the window. Ro was breaking speed limits trying to find his partner. It sounded like he had taken back roads. Too quiet to be the main roads.
Virgil was hopeful, he wanted to be awake for Roman when he came, but he was starting to think it may not happen. He was so cold everything was numb and he felt that even the tapping on the windshield was taking the strength of ten men. The rhythm slowed and he heard Roman say something to him. There wasn’t much he could do. The broken man was able to hear the actors tone grow frantic. But in the minutes passing he couldn’t understand what was being said.
At least not enough to make a difference. He understood an occasional shout that broke though, ‘Vir-’. Other than that, it was lost on him. By fifteen minutes later the tapping had almost ceased. The shaking was constant and he couldn’t control it, nor did he care to.
He could hardly hear a word, yet he felt familiar strong arms around him and pick up his body with minimal effort. He felt himself get set in the back seat of a car feeling a familiar clutter of costumes and soft props. It felt hot in the car, felt painful like running a cold hand under too warm of water. Then the door opened on the passenger side and Philip bounded in. The other back door opened again and he felt Roman climb in and remove his coat and shirt.
Roman removed his own shirt pressing it against the cut in his elbow and wrapped himself around Virgil trying to warm him up while the ambulace located them. The actor went to move the sweatshirt to the passenger seat when he saw a small box fall from his pocket. It brought tears to his eyes. “ I am sorry Virgil, so so sorry.”
“I…love you…” Virgil sighed,his voice weak and thick from exhaustion as Roman felt his body quivering, it was slowly warming up.
“ I love you too..” Roman whispered carding his fingers through chilled hair. “ I’ll pay for your window later.” They may not be okay right now, but it will get better.
