Surplus from Chapter 12 of Rebel Heart
Neji said it would be quick, that he would be home soon, but three days passed and then a week after that.
What was supposed to be barely a short B mission, had been upgraded to an A raking mission. Hinata only learned that new information because she was present in her father’s office when he commented that to another elder. Hiashi had said, in his usual proper Hyuuga detached demeanour, that the Hokage had sent a report the morning before, despite all her worrying, nobody had bothered to inform her, and things would have been kept that way if Hinata had not been summoned to that awful room to decide her fate.
Upgraded to an A mission... But it’s too soon, he is still fragile. What if-
Well, that wasn’t exactly true or fair, and Hinata was well aware that if let her uneasiness known to anyone, above all if she let Neji know how she felt about him going on missions again, she would be deeply offending him.
She selfishly wished he would never leave her sight. It was in the nature of their trade to risk their lives; she had known that as a fact since before she could remember. To Hinata, the reality of that truth made itself present earlier than to most people, at three years old she already had blood in her hands. Family blood even. Bunke blood.
Maybe that had been what shaped her the way she was, what damaged her for the ruthless life of a shinobi, and worthless as a souke woman. Till this day, that trauma still filled her nightmares, but it was after the war what something dangling had finally snapped and now lay broken inside of her, without any chance of being mended.
Neji had died in front of her, because of her, looking into her eyes. Of course she was terrified for his life now, of course the idea of him being out of her sight drove her to her worst instincts. It woke in her possessiveness that she had fought against and repressed ever since she decided that it wasn’t fair that her own cousin Neji had to lose his father because of her, ever since she learned what the birdcage was and what it did, when she realised that most of her family had to live as servants, as lambs to slaughter.
Deciding that nothing of that was right, choosing to see the truth despite the veil that enshrouded the Hyuuga internal relations in protocol and duty had been her own meek way of rebelling. After all, it couldn’t be both, could it? She couldn’t be above every single of her bunke relatives and also such an absolute deception that she was worth less than the dust under her father’s feet. It made no sense. Neji could call her Hinata-sama to please the elders, but she would still remind him and everyone else, every time she called his name that he was far from a servant to her, that she refused to think of him as a tool, a shield, as something that could be owned, even if by her.
But getting romantically involved with him made what was already messy even more complicated... Despite her own chosen morality, her entire body still prickled with goosebumps an ancient satisfaction every time she remembered of him whispering in her ear that he was hers, that he had always and would forever belong to only her as he teased her with his hungry lips and heated touch until she was feverishly agreeing.
"Hinata, have you made your choice, yet?"
Her glazed eyes were forced back into focus; Hinata leaned forward peering over the scrolls displayed before her; each one had a portrait of a strange man. They were clearly all of noble blood but obviously all civilians. It was bad enough they were willing to dilute her pure Hyuuga genes, they would not mix it with other shinobi clans.
She swallowed hard and schooled her face to keep impassive even ever fear and anger swirled in her guts like fire-snakes.
There was no real choice to make, of course. Just like the need of an engagement itself, the groom had already been picked for her.
Not trusting herself to talk without making a fool of herself and angering her father, Hinata pointed to the correct answer and waited her dismissal.
