hi! i realized that it might start being difficult to navigate all my oneshots, so i decided to make a masterlist instead! not sure yet if i'll be writing for other characters/fandoms since most of my inspo is for jamie so at this point in time, all the following stories are about jamie tartt!
comfort crowd, you can always count.
i'd be better armed if you agreed to take it.
and i don't even like you that much. wait, i do. f*ck.
call it what you want.
if it weren't for second chances, we'd all be alone.
i've already mapped out this story, so until further notice, this is the length of the whole fic! as i post the chapters, i'll gradually update the titles here :)
PROLOGUE - hold on to the memories.
CHAPTER ONE - nothing good starts in a getaway car.
CHAPTER TWO - you'll always know me.
CHAPTER THREE - so inviting, i almost jump in.
INTERLUDE - are we still friends?
CHAPTER FOUR - come home to my heart.
CHAPTER FIVE - this is what it feels like.
CHAPTER SIX - it all makes sense when i'm with you.
EPILOGUE - you and me, always and forever.
PLAYLIST:
some songs that helped me along while writing and the lyrics of some of them are actually where i got the title chapters from! i didn't put the songs in order, but you can try and tell what direction the story is going to go based on them (insert evil laugh)!
1. it's nice to have a friend by taylor swift
2. mess it up by gracie abrams
3. new year's day by taylor swift
4. dorothea by taylor swift
5. you & me by the wannadies
6. 1, 2 by mxmtoon
7. bite the hand by boygenius
8. still into you by paramore
9. feels like by gracie abrams
10. angels like you by miley cyrus
11. cardigan by taylor swift
12. daylight by taylor swift
13. are we still friends? by tyler, the creator
14. first time by lucy dacus
15. gold rush by taylor swift
16. true blue by boygenius
17. promise by laufey
18. two people by gracie abrams
19. bags by clairo
20. miss me by zeph
21. just because by sadie jean
22. two weeks ago by maisie peters
23. back to december by taylor swift
24. supercut by lorde
25. fool by frankie cosmos
finally complete! anyone who's been waiting can now binge read or just simply read the epilogue! hope you all enjoy and thanks for coming along with me with this :))
'it's nice to have a friend' masterlist + playlist | previous chapter
PAIRING: jamie tartt x fem!reader
WORD COUNT: 3.7k
SUMMARY: jamie and reader go to liv's wedding and after, jamie has a magical moment of his own prepared.
WARNINGS: language
A/N: and welcome to the final chapter and epilogue of inthaf! i can't thank you all enough for reading and enjoying this story, and joining me on this ride. from the title and summary, i think you can tell what's going to happen and i hope you enjoy their happy ending!
"Marry me today, so you can get double the gifts!" Jamie proposed enthusiastically, but you shook your head profusely. Not because you thought it was a bad idea — you two were always trying to come up with ways to get more presents, — but because you knew you were both too young to get married.
Jamie, both disappointed by you turning down his proposal and the idea of more gifts, stands up from where the two of you were seated in the backyard and starts marching back inside the house with purpose. "I'll ask Auntie then if she'll let me marry you!"
"Jamie, you're such a dork! Hold on!" You chased after him.
"Oh, honey it was so sweet and so cute! He was so shy about it, too, you know. And I know you didn't like it when I mentioned it, and you were blushing so much even if you said you didn't want to marry Jamie! Oh, if they could see you two now, on the way to a real proposal this time..."
Your mom trails off at the end, after going on a whole recap of the first time Jamie proposed to you (four more instances followed, each one getting less and less serious as you two got older).
"Mom, I'm glad you're happy that Jamie and I are together and I know you've been wanting grandkids, but please slow down. It hasn't even been a year!" You remind her, plopping down on your couch in exasperation.
You're not really sure either how you and your mom got to the topic of marriage. You called her to ask about their travel details since they were coming to visit in a few weeks and you mentioned brownies once, which led your mom down a slippery train of thought.
Your mom sighs into the phone, "Oh sweetheart, you know you and Jamie's relationship has been a long time coming. That boy has loved you since you were kids! I'm surprised he's even waited eight months at this point before popping the question. I mean, don't you want to marry him?"
"Of course, I do!" You answer a lot faster than you intended, so you take a moment before continuing. "It's just that I don't want you to get in my head so much that I end up pressuring Jamie to propose when he isn't ready." Which really was the truth. You and Jamie had never been happier than you were now after you two started dating.
After he recovered from the injury after the Man City game, Jamie took you on a proper first date. You went to a formal restaurant and had a great time, but the two of you were already hanging out since that morning. The "date" was just the end of an already great day spent with him, and that's usually what most of the days you were together would be like.
Today was just like that, though you would be a little busier compared to your usual days since you'd also be a maid of honor for Liv the whole time.
You glance at the clock and suddenly realize you have to start getting ready to leave. "Mom, I have to go now, but remember to send me your schedule, okay? See you soon, love you," you hang up the phone and head to your bedroom to get your dress ready to pack.
Liv had already organized that the bridal party would be getting ready together and you were now running late. You start bolting for the door when it opens wide and you're greeted by your boyfriend with an identical surprised expression on his face.
"Jamie!" You exclaim, before noticing how he's already in his wedding attire, minus the coat which he had hanging on his arm. He looked incredibly handsome and you almost let yourself get distracted by it, but focus back on the wedding. You can let yourself be distracted later tonight. "You didn't have to be this early. We could've just met up at the venue."
"I know, but I wanted to see my beautiful girlfriend before she got too busy to kiss me," Jamie wraps his arms around you and gently kisses you. You appreciated the gesture and deepened the kiss, but pulled back after recalling the time.
"Well then, since you're here, help me carry my bags to the car." You hand him your duffle bag and grab your purse before you two head out.
Jamie left his car running, which was amazingly still there when you reached it, and you two headed to the venue together. He had brought you to the place enough times when Liv would call while you two were together so that you didn't have to direct him there.
As you two usually did when you were together, you spent the whole time talking about the events that happened when you weren't. On the way, Jamie narrated the new bizarre training sessions with Roy as their new coach and how he always happened to be the main target of the painful ones, to no one's surprise. You then talked about how one of your students nearly caused a biohazard after knocking over multiple trays of cultured bacteria.
You weren't sure how many stories you exchanged till you finally reached the venue and started heading to where the bridesmaids were getting ready.
"What're you going to do till the wedding starts then?" You ask Jamie as you reach the room, who simply shrugs.
"Eh, I'll find something. Go on, I'll see you later, love," he kisses you on the cheek and smiles before heading back to the car.
You smile to yourself, before heading into the already hectic dressing room. There were already several people there getting ready, so you silently make your way to Liv to cater to her every need. She was never one to be a bridezilla, but any person would be stressed out on their wedding day, so you wanted to try your best to soothe her worries.
By the start of the wedding ceremony, you were standing in front of a fan to stop all the sweating. You were glad you had already mastered running around in heels with how much you did it that morning alone.
"Okay, we're starting soon," the wedding organizer reminded the party. "Get into positions, please."
You move in line with the other bridesmaids and take the arm of your partner, who you think is one of Freddie's college friends but never really took it upon yourself to get to know him better. He was quite nice, in your limited interactions.
Once the doors open and you start walking, you try and focus on the actual procession, but your eyes immediately start looking for Jamie. You try and be subtle with it, not even moving your head, and you manage to spot him on the left side. When he catches you looking, he gives you a quick wink and you have to hold back a smile as you reach the end of the aisle.
The wedding went smoothly, much to your relief. You had spent most of the vows portion trying not to cry or not to protest when Liv stated that Freddie was her best friend. But it was a beautiful ceremony, so it was worth it.
You were now at the reception and after a quick scare with one of the entrees, you were now relaxing at your table next to Jamie, who had not let go of your left hand since you found him. He had been caressing your fingers and weirdly, it was soothing you.
Because of it, it was easy for him to invite you to dance. Neither of you were much dancers as kids — you discovered as much when you went to most of your school dances together, — but Jamie seemed to have improved enough that he could lead you through the movements.
"Christ, maybe I should take you to some beginner dancing lessons together sometime." Jamie teased, and you faked offense. All he could do was laugh at your reaction before adding, "Learning proper footwork wouldn't hurt."
"You truly are a charmer, babe," You roll your eyes, but still allow him to pull you closer as you continue to slow dance.
As the song ended, you pulled away but kept your hands in his. You smile and he mirrors the expression, but there is something else in Jamie's eyes as he looks at you. You had already seen the look of love from him, but this was different like it was something stronger.
Without thinking, you immediately tell him, "I love you, Jamie." It didn't matter how many times you said it, Jamie still felt the giddy feeling in his chest when the words left your mouth. He'd never felt like that with anyone else, and he hoped it never went away.
"I love you too, (Y/N)," Jamie replied and now you were the one with the warm feeling in your heart. You look away from him for a second and realize that it's almost time for your surprise.
You turn back to him, "I gotta get on stage. I'll see you in a bit." Jamie looks confused, but you wink at him and start heading towards the microphone.
"Hello everyone, I hope you're enjoying the night so far." You start, drawing everyone's attention to you. Christ, you can't believe you agreed to this, but it beat making a whole speech instead.
"For those who don't know me, I'm (Y/N), Liv's maid of honor! You may now be asking yourself why I'm standing in front of you today. Well, for some backstory, Liv and Freddie had been scrambling for a performance for their wedding a few weeks ago. They then just so happened to pull up some of my old videos from university and decided, hey, why not get a close friend to perform for free, then? So, I've decided to honor their wishes and perform the song that was playing the night they met, becoming the soundtrack to their relationship. This is 'Kiss Me,'"
You spent the entire performance making sure you didn't mess up and finally, luck was on your side. Liv and Freddie never looked happier to be in the middle of the dance floor, as if they were reliving the first time they saw each other. That was enough motivation to continue the show, making sure you hit every note.
After everyone claps for you, you make your way down the side of the stage, where Jamie had been waiting for you. Without another word, Jamie takes you in his arms and kisses you deeply. You're lucky you were in the corner of the room, otherwise you'd have to deal with everyone's whistles and 'oohs and aahs.'
"What was that for?" You say breathlessly after pulling away and Jamie just smirks.
"You've been singing it for the past three minutes. Didn't you want someone to kiss you?" He points out and you can't help but laugh.
"Yes, very much so." You affirm.
You two head back to your seats and for the first time, you can just sit back and enjoy the wedding, while also promising yourself that you won't be a bridesmaid again till you get married.
"Okay, it's time for the bouquet toss!" Liv announces and the women at the wedding start crowding in the middle of the room.
You sigh and look at Jamie, who simply smirks and nods toward the group. "Go on, love. You have to be one with the team, right?" You stick your tongue out at him, before getting up from your chair and standing at the back of the group. Lessens the chances of catching it.
But they're never zero. As Liv tosses it up, it seems like it was aimed towards you and before you knew it, the bouquet was in your hands. It takes a second to sink in before Liv starts squealing at the sight and you're brought back to your senses.
The girls start circling around you and you can hear some of the guys start teasing Jamie, who seemed unfazed by it all. Once the crowds disperse, you walk back over to your boyfriend with an amused look on your face.
"Well then, Jamie. Guess you have to start getting ready then." You tease, simply just to mess with your boyfriend. You laugh before he pulls you in and wraps an arm around you.
Little did you know, he's been ready all night. And truthfully, Jamie had been ready all his life. In the past, he never understood what people meant by marrying your best friend, but now he did. He understood it clearer than ever.
As the party starts to die down and people start to depart, you decide it's time to get some rest too. You walk over to Liv and Freddie to bid them goodbye and both newlyweds hug you tightly as a show of gratitude.
"Really, thank you so much," Liv repeats and you just smile at her. Your best friend looks right past you, but before you can follow her line of sight, she asks, "But before you go, could you get my purse in the dressing room?"
You agree, thinking nothing of it since you had seen Liv leave a bit earlier, but the moment you leave the reception hall, Liv and Freddie move closer to Jamie. "Is everything ready?" Liv asks and Jamie nods confidently.
Some of his teammates as well as Roy and Keeley had been working all day to decorate his house. Like he always was, Jamie was stubborn about how he wanted it to be designed, which is why so many of them had to come over and why he made them update him with pictures every hour.
But weirdly enough, the whole day, he's felt relatively calm. There were nerves, sure, but being with you was already enough to relax him. Jamie had no doubt in his mind that he wanted to marry you and was sure you wanted the same.
"Okay, make sure to keep your back straight when you kneel. It looks weird in the pictures when you're hunched over," Freddie reminded him and Jamie nodded in acknowledgment.
There weren't going to be any pictures though, since Jamie knew you wanted it to be private. And frankly, with how much of his life was open to the public, he wanted something like this to be just for the two of you.
But of course, the carefree feeling didn't last long. As you were on the way home, the anxiety started to rise up in Jamie and he decided to keep one hand in yours to try and calm him down. You had started to notice him getting fidgety, so you started caressing his hand with your own like he did earlier.
"Hey, let's just stay at my place tonight. It's nearer to the venue and it's pretty late, anyway." Jamie had pointed out before you got in the car and you didn't see any reason to argue.
You spent half your time there anyway and have been victim to Roy Kent waking you up at ungodly hours for Jamie's training, where many times you've stopped yourself from pulling Jamie closer to stay with you because you knew he'd give in and the knocking would never stop. You loved Jamie, but you loved your peaceful sleep more.
Maybe it was the stress of the day getting to you, but you truly didn't notice anything too out of the ordinary from Jamie. When you pulled up to his house and got out of the car, you still hadn't suspected anything. Jamie rushed ahead to the front door though, which you did find interesting considering he never cared how his house looked before.
As you reach the door, he comes back out carrying a blindfold and you're alarmed. "Jamie! We're still outside, oh my god!"
He stifles a laugh, "It's not that! Christ, when did you become so dirty? I just have a surprise for you. Come on," he slowly wraps it over your eyes and you keep a hand on him as he guides you through the house by your waist.
"Okay, one more step... and there," By the feeling of blades of grass making it into your heels, you know you're in the backyard though it feels a bit warmer than it should be in October.
Jamie finally takes the blindfold off and reveals his backyard, though it's decorated with candles all over and a string of fairy lights hanging above you. There are other strings too, and as you look closer, it's photos of the two of you with some writing from Jamie in the corner of them. He gives you time to look around and you pick out some of the pictures.
One was from the first football match of his that you ever attended, with your mismatched gloves and hot chocolate. We had such small hands then.
I knew I loved you in the dairy aisle of the grocery, was written in the corner of a photo Jamie took of you after your failed first date when you two were 15. You had wiped off your make-up but were still in your dress as you sat in the cart.
Annoying bloke, but thank Dani for taking this photo. A more recent one from when you first agreed to be Jamie's girlfriend on the way home from the Man City game. Despite the celebrations, you happened to fall asleep, so the photo has you sleeping and resting your head on Jamie's shoulder with your boyfriend scowling at the camera and cradling your head.
Did you see this coming, love? The photo was taken recently you suspect because it's you with your back to the camera while seated on the couch and Jamie showing off the ring box and sticking his tongue out.
You turn back at Jamie, who looks incredibly pleased with himself but even then, you can still detect the small traces of nerves on his face. You run back to him and plant your lips on his, and he happily reciprocates the kiss.
He pulls back and steadies you, before starting, "Look, you've always been so much smarter than me, so I'm sure you know where this is leading. But please, let me have my big speech, yeah?" You laugh but nod and allow him to go ahead.
"I love you. I'll never get tired of telling you. I never told you how much I wanted to be your friend when you first moved in next door. I thought, this girl seemed so smart and pretty, and she would be a good person to play football with. I was right, but you were so much more, too. You were what anchored me in the world, one of the only people that I was never afraid to be myself with. In the best and worst moments, you were always the first person I wanted to be with."
"Looking back on those memories made me realize there wasn't just a moment where I fell for you because I just always have. You owned my heart before either of us knew it. Even in the hard times when we struggled, when I became a different man and broke your heart, you were still the one in mine. And for all that I put you through, I don't think a million sorry's will ever be enough. But you forgave me anyway and now, I have a chance to spend the rest of my life with you."
"I love you wholeheartedly. I know it's only been a few months, but I can't imagine my life anymore without you. Everyone knew it since we were kids, but the moment I saw you in Nelson Road again, I knew it too. It was always going to be us, (Y/N)."
Jamie lets go of your hands and gets something from his jacket pocket. He kneels down and shows you the ring box. "Now, before I open this, I picked out two rings. You get to pick which one you'll wear, okay?"
You're surprised at this, but you decide to nod anyway. Jamie reveals the first ring, which was inside the box, and it's the first plastic ring he gave all those years ago. You burst out laughing and simply can't believe what he'd done. Only Jamie would pull something like this while proposing.
"So, what do you think?" He pulls it out of its position and holds it up to you.
"I think... this one might be a bit too small for me, Jamie." You point out and Jamie fakes disappointment, before tucking it in his pocket.
"Well then, good thing I'm always prepared." He then pulls out the actual ring. A silver one, with small petals engraved as if to replicate a plant, with the bud of the flower being substituted with the diamond in the middle. It was a small but beautiful cut, and you were always one for the simpler things. It was the perfect ring.
The sound of your full name moves your attention back to Jamie as he prepares himself to say the words he's been practicing in the mirror for the past three months, to you now. "Will you marry me?"
You kneel down in front of him to look him straight in the eye. You cradle his face with your hands before saying, "Jamie Tartt, you are the biggest dork in this world for this. And yes, I will marry you."
Jamie lets out a sigh of relief and smiles, before slipping the ring onto your finger. He immediately kisses you after, cradling your face this time. You two get up again without separating before Jamie separates just to carry you in his arms, bridal style.
He kisses you once again, and says, "I knew I was irresistible to you."
You laugh and roll your eyes, "You were the one on your knees for me."
You lean in to kiss him this time, and after, Jamie rushes back inside the house for you two to celebrate the start of the rest of your life together.
TAGLIST: @moonflowersandsparkles @faith-alons26 @rexorangecouny @aiyaiy @thegirlthatwantedtowrite @giggling-sewer-ginger @katdahlali @higherthanheroes @guccilongboard @alipap3 @rockchicrebel @ellietartt @shineforever19 @skewedcherries @jamietarttdodo @meg-ro @deepdarkvelvet @taytaylala12 @loveforaugust @crownofdecitreadingrespectfully @dickgraysonspersonalwhore @jess4rush @scaramou @rae4725 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo (couldn't tag you for some reason?)
i've already mapped out this story, so until further notice, this is the length of the whole fic! as i post the chapters, i'll gradually update the titles here :)
PROLOGUE - hold on to the memories.
CHAPTER ONE - nothing good starts in a getaway car.
CHAPTER TWO - you'll always know me.
CHAPTER THREE - so inviting, i almost jump in.
INTERLUDE - are we still friends?
CHAPTER FOUR - come home to my heart.
CHAPTER FIVE - this is what it feels like.
CHAPTER SIX - it all makes sense when i'm with you.
EPILOGUE - ?
PLAYLIST:
some songs that helped me along while writing and the lyrics of some of them are actually where i got the title chapters from! i didn't put the songs in order, but you can try and tell what direction the story is going to go based on them (insert evil laugh)!
1. it's nice to have a friend by taylor swift
2. mess it up by gracie abrams
3. new year's day by taylor swift
4. dorothea by taylor swift
5. you & me by the wannadies
6. 1, 2 by mxmtoon
7. bite the hand by boygenius
8. still into you by paramore
9. feels like by gracie abrams
10. angels like you by miley cyrus
11. cardigan by taylor swift
12. daylight by taylor swift
13. are we still friends? by tyler, the creator
14. first time by lucy dacus
15. gold rush by taylor swift
16. true blue by boygenius
17. promise by laufey
18. two people by gracie abrams
19. bags by clairo
20. miss me by zeph
21. just because by sadie jean
22. two weeks ago by maisie peters
23. back to december by taylor swift
24. supercut by lorde
25. fool by frankie cosmos
CHAPTER SIX | it all makes sense when i'm with you.
'it's nice to have a friend' masterlist + playlist | previous chapter
PAIRING: jamie tartt x fem!reader
WORD COUNT: 6.0k
SUMMARY: jamie and reader are finally happy, but are now faced with entering a new era of their relationship.
WARNINGS: language
A/N: yet another long chapter, but this is the last one before the epilogue and i really wanted to include a lot of scenes! i want to thank you all again for reading this! it's been a long time coming (longer than expected), but i hope you'll all enjoy it anyway! thanks again for reading and if you're curious, the title is from the song "1,2" by mxmtoon :)
"They were fucking psychos for making us tie it around our dicks. I mean, I already knew Total Football, so I don't get why they had to make me do it, too."
"Sportsmanship, Jamie. You have to be one with the team." You joke, but even through the phone, you can tell he's not amused.
"Anyway, after I finally told them they were doing it wrong, we got the first goal and now we’re winning matches. It's been doing wonders for my self-image."
It was your turn now to roll your eyes. You didn't respond, which resulted in Jamie asking, "Are you still listening?"
"Yes! You're just lucky no one's come in for office hours right now and you can be the one to talk my ear off." You take off your legs from your table and stand up to stretch. You hadn't realized how long you'd been sitting there, listening to Jamie update you on his life, but it was enough that it led to a loud crack in your neck.
"Fine, I'll see you later, yeah?" He asks and you give a short hum as your answer. "Alright. Bye, love."
Had it been the first time he'd called you that at the end of a phone call, you would've fallen back into your chair. But after your weekend meet-ups had been mostly reduced to weekly phone calls due to the sudden increase in practices for Jamie, you had gotten used to his casual usage of the word.
But that didn't mean you didn't still get the butterflies when he'd call you that. Yet again, you were falling for your best friend. Only this time, you couldn't pass it off as some stupid childish crush that would pass in time. But at least, you were old enough to understand your feelings better.
Now, you were waiting for him to show up at your flat tonight. You have subconsciously even pulled out the ingredients for lasagna, one of his favorite dishes of yours. Christ, what was happening to you?
As you pull out the plates from the cupboard and get them ready at the dining table, a knock on your door pulls your attention away. Before you can even react, it opens to reveal Liv and Freddie, the former now sermoning you about the importance of locking your doors.
"Who's your guest?" Freddie asks, changing the course of Liv's train of thought. Your best friend's eyes widen as she realizes and whispers, "Is Jamie here?"
"Jamie Tartt?!" Freddie exclaims in the loudest voice you've ever heard from him. You try and shush him before you realize he summoned the footballer.
"Yeah, who's asking?" You hear him enter from the hallway, carrying his duffel bag with him. Only you can tell he's surprised by the additional company, but any other person would have taken his smile as an overly confident one. "How're you doing, Liv? And this is the soon-to-be mister, I suppose?"
"Freddie, and yes, that's me." He reaches to shake Jamie's hand, and the footballer takes it politely. "We should leave them to it, right 'hon?" Freddie grabs hold of Liv's hand, who does not share her fiancée's eagerness to leave — mainly to hear all about what's going on with the two of you, — but obliges anyway.
"Wait," Jamie stops them from leaving and pulls out something from the pocket in his duffle bag. "Since you're here, I'll hand them in person. Three tickets to the England match in a few days. They give some out to each player, and I was planning to give it to (Y/N) and I'm sure she would've given it to you two."
He's right, but you still faked offense for thinking she had no one else to give it, too.
"No, we couldn't," Liv replied, "you should give these to your family." You knew she was just being humble, that she desperately wanted those tickets, but she'd never automatically accept them.
"Nah, don't worry about that. They're all back in Manchester, so too far away to go the match anyway. Plus, it's a return for leaving that one," he nods towards you, "in the middle of Nelson Road. Without that, I'd never have gotten her back, so thank you." You smile at Jamie as he says that, who only winks at you.
"Alright, thank you so much, Jamie Tartt." Freddie takes the two tickets, before saying goodbye to the footballer.
"You owe me an explanation," are your parting words to your best friend, after having spent this whole time wondering how she and Jamie had met before. All she does is smirk at you before taking her fiancée's hand and leaving the flat with him.
"Here's yours," Jamie hands you your ticket, before rushing to grab something from his bag. "I have one more thing to show you, hold on." You see a flash of white as he pulls the item out and rushes to your bathroom.
You could only laugh. You haven't seen him this excited to show you something since he first showed you his team kit after he joined Man City, the memory of which gives you a hint as to what he wants to show off now. You take a seat on the stool next to the kitchen counter, before you hear his steps returning, placing your toes behind the metal footrest.
"Look out now... for the best striker on the England National Team, Jamie Tartt!" He introduced himself, before having a running start and jumping right in front of you and posing.
You smile brightly, barely being able to contain your joy at seeing Jamie so clearly proud to show off one of his best accomplishments. You knew how hard Jamie had been working to get to this point, from the moment you met him as children all those years ago. This is the Jamie you know and love, so proud and self-assured, who knew what he wanted and went for it.
"It looks perfect on you, Jamie." You say genuinely, as Jamie walks closer to you.
"Yeah? It's soft too, feel it," he offers his arm, though he's still far enough that you have to stand. You forget how you placed your feet and end up falling forward. Jamie's there to catch you and once again, you find your face too close to his own.
"Careful," he whispers, keeping his arms wrapped around you and his eyes on yours. Jamie helps you up and keeps his hands on your shoulders as you move to create space between you too.
"You're right," you try and break the tension. "The kit's real soft. So..." you turn around to find the dinner you've made still not plated. "Can you still make your own plate of food or are you too high-status to do it yourself now?"
"Ah, I don't want to dirty up the kit this early," he tries to joke, but you slap his arm playfully before walking over to the dining table.
—
"Oh my god, oh my god, we're here." Liv s.queals beside you.
"It's real. Oh, somebody pinch me. What if I offer Jamie to be my Best Man? My brother wouldn't mind, right?" Freddie added, dawned completely in merchandise.
"Christ, there's two of you now." You joke, but Liv plants a kiss on your cheek and interlock your arms as you walk to your seats.
Before you can even get settled, a text message from Jamie grabs your attention. Could you come here followed by, please.
You're confused by the vague message but try to follow it anyway. You weren't sure where 'here' was, but you excused yourself from Liv and Freddie and tried to head to where you assumed the locker rooms were.
It was risky, considering you were wearing a Tartt shirt and didn't look like anyone of importance, but it seemed like there wasn't much security on the way there. You turn the corner where you find Jamie leaning against the wall, but your footsteps cause him to jolt up. He instantly softens when he realizes who it is, and starts to come towards you.
He envelops you in a hug and the first thing he says to you is, "I might fuck this. I mean, they didn't put me on starting for a reason, right?"
"Jamie..." you whisper, returning the hug and then pulling away to try and look him in the eye, but he keeps his eyes low. " What happened to the guy who was confidently showing off his kit to me a few days ago? If they have any sense in them, they are going to sub you in, and you are going to do great."
"You always say that," he points out and you shake your head.
"And I have, like, a 99 percent success rate with it." You take hold of his face to try and get him to focus on you. "They wouldn't have put you on the team if they didn't think you were a capable and amazing player. Of course, I've known that since we were kids, but the entire world is realizing it now. Jamie Tartt, you are one in a million. You've believed that all your life, so why stop now?" Jamie finally looks you in the eye and you try to give him a comforting smile.
The past months you've spent with Jamie have taken out a lot of the surprise factor in the things he does. But before you knew it, Jamie's lips were on yours and now, you could name at least one thing he can do to keep you on your toes.
Almost as quickly, Jamie pulls back, "Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't—" but you interrupt him with a kiss of your own. You're not really sure how long you stay like that, but the moment Jamie returned the kiss, you knew time didn't matter. Then, of course, logic came back into your system and you had to pull away.
You're a bit out of breath, but you rest your temple against his, "You got this, Jamie." He pulls away before he gives you another hug.
His coach comes out of the locker room to call him back inside, and he turns to leave you but comes back to give you one last kiss on the cheek. "Bye, love." Love.
It takes everything in you to hold back from spilling everything to Liv as you get back to your seat and wait for the game to start.
—
"AFC Richmond's Jamie Tartt, winning his first cap for England, an unforgettable moment and well earned," the commentator announces at some point during the game, and Liv remarks that this is the loudest she's ever seen you cheer.
"Let's go, Jamie!" You shout and with the sea of England supporters at the venue, you're aware he can't hear you, but you hope it reaches him anyway.
And of course, you were right. He did amazing, plus you had only noticed now that he chose 24 as his number, which was his teammate's. He had told you about how Sam didn't get picked for the Nigerian team and how crushed he was about it, so seeing Jamie do such a touching gesture was only another reminder of how amazing — your friend? Boyfriend, if that could even be used? Childhood best friend? Ah, fuck it… — Jamie was.
You didn't get to see the footballer after the match, but he managed to send you a goofy selfie along with a 'thank you' message, indicating that he was back to normal, maybe even a bit more confident now. You send one back and close your phone as you return to your conversation with Liv. Maybe your mind was playing tricks on you, but you could still feel his lips lingering on yours.
—
"That's this class of students done," you said to yourself, before switching over to your laptop where Liv's guest list was open. The wedding was still in a couple of months, but even then, you were starting to feel the strain of being Maid of Honor.
It had been a few weeks since you even had a proper conversation with Jamie, let alone talk about what happened before the England match. You weren't really sure what you expected or wanted to happen. You were hoping Jamie would take the lead like he usually did, but even he was too busy to talk.
So recently, you've been diving straight into your work, hoping that by the time you were done, Jamie would finally send that message that he wanted to talk. But instead, the only person you've been having any non-academic conversation with was Liv.
You see a message from her pop up on your laptop, saying Have you seen this? Jamie's acting a bit weird.
You weren't sure what your best friend's standards were for "weird," but as you play the interview clip, you find yourself agreeing with her.
"I apologize to everyone, especially the kids." You watch him lean into the mic to say, and you scrunch your eyebrows in confusion, but your expression turns into worry.
You reach for your phone to message him, Hey Jamie, how are you? Do you wanna come over for movie night soon?
It was ten minutes later when you finally got a reply. Doing good. Can't see you right now though, busy with training. Sorry.
Now you were really getting anxious. You knew Jamie wouldn't be so mean as to ghost you for the kiss, but you couldn't help your brain drifting to that conclusion. No, Jamie wouldn't do that. It must be something else.
You look up the schedule of matches for Richmond for the next few weeks and sure enough, their next match is against Manchester City. You grew up in Manchester and knew just how strongly Man City supporters feel for their team, and how they feel about the ones who leave, too. It must be eating Jamie up going back there, especially now when you remember one of the last times they played against them.
Jamie had recounted to you in the past how his dad barged into the Richmond locker room after they'd lost the match, and how it took everything in him not to retaliate, but even then, he ended up punching him in the face. You held his hand and as if you signaled a green light, Jamie wrapped his arms around you and rested his head on your chest. You don’t really know how long you two stayed that way, but you ended up waking up to the sound of three missed calls from Roy to Jamie at 4 am.
And so, you decide to spend your break next week back in Manchester. You open your phone to message your parents and the speed of your mom's reply displayed their excitement. Can't wait, sweetie! See you soon, Mom and Dad love you.
—
"Oh my god!" Your mom exclaims as she opens the door and envelopes you in a hug quickly. You arrived around lunchtime, the day before the match, hoping to have time to meet up with Jamie and talk before it, though you haven't even been able to tell him you were in Manchester, too. "Dad went out to buy ingredients for a cake ‘cause we didn't expect you to get here so early."
You pull away from here and shake your head, "You guys didn't have to do that, Mom." You drag your suitcase across the threshold and slam down on the couch as soon as you reach it.
"Well, we haven't seen you in months and you haven't been here in Manchester in years! We were planning to have a whole thing for your return." Your mom explains as walks into the kitchen to make you tea, like she always did when she came to visit. At least this time, she wasn't criticizing you for the lack of a tea selection in your flat.
"Why have you decided to visit? You usually invite us to go to London during your breaks." She asks, walking back in with a tray of cups and a teapot.
It would be too hard for you to explain that the major reason (or person) that stopped you from coming back all these years was now the exact reason why you chose to travel all the way to Manchester, so instead you settle with, "Just didn't want you guys to take the long trip this time."
By the time your dad gets back with his bags of groceries, you have already changed into a tank top and pajama pants while your mom already made a late lunch for you three. You finally explain to the two of them how you got back in touch with Jamie after all this time, carefully omitting the reasons for your falling out, and are now worried about him playing against Man City.
"I mean, I'm sure it's hard for a lot of the players to play against their old team, but Jamie having to play a match against the team he spent his whole life aspiring to be a part of? I'm scared he's too shaken up, and he's not telling me anything either." You let out an exasperated sigh, and look down at your hands. "I'm really worried."
Your mom reaches out to take one of your hands. "Hon, you've never not been worried about Jamie. Ever since you two were kids."
You keep a solemn expression on your face, to which your dad adds on, as he takes your other hand. "Just do what you always did. Be there for him, and make sure he knows it. He needs your support more than anything, especially now that you're back in his life."
You let out a sigh, trying to absorb what they've just said to you, but you were so tired from the travel that you move to the couch and just try to relax. You end up drifting off into the night till you wake up to a message from an unknown number.
(Y/N)? I hope this is your number, it's Keeley Jones. We met before at the gala? Anyway, I hope you get this because we're following Jamie somewhere. He's been acting weird and I wanted to ask if you knew any special place he'd go to when he's stressed or going through something.
You don't have time to properly understand what she's asking and just go with your first instinct: Georgie. You shout up the stairs to your parents that you're heading out and grab a sweatshirt from your bag as you run to their house. It almost feels like deja vu, considering they've barely changed the exterior of the place.
You knock on the door and are received by Simon, whose surprise at seeing you back in Manchester doesn't faze you. You reciprocate his welcoming hug before asking, "Is Georgie home?"
"Yeah, she's just upstairs," he moves aside to make way for you to get inside the house, and you nod to him before running up to the second floor.
"Georgie?" You call out, and the call of your own name signals her presence. You walk into the main bedroom, one you remember vividly from when Jamie would rope you into taking some money from Simon's wallet — you always apologized on his behalf — when you were teenagers.
"Oh my goodness, I completely forgot you were coming home today! My mind's been all over the place. Welcome back, 'hon," she envelops you in a hug, which you're grateful for, but as you break apart, she notices your look of urgency. "What's got you here in such a rush?"
"It's about Jamie," you get straight to the point. "I'm worried about him and it's just that—" you're interrupted by Simon calling out to her.
She excuses herself, but you follow after her as she asks, "What was that, love? Someone at the door?"
You turn to go down the stairs when you spot Jamie waiting at the bottom. Georgie runs to hug her son and while your heart warms at the sight of this reunion, the trance is broken when Jamie spots you.
"When did you get here?" His accent's a lot thicker back in his hometown, you notice.
"Just before you did," you reply, but seeing as he returns his attention back to his mom, you instead walk down the stairs and past them to join Keeley and Roy whom you awkwardly greet.
"Well, we've got quite a number of visitors today. Who wants some sweet treats?" He offers, and you decide it's best to follow him.
You should've known that Jamie's "special place" would be his childhood home, and maybe it was the nerves that stopped you from thinking clearly. Now, you were just glad he was with Georgie now, someone who always knew how to cheer him up.
"Help me carry them out, yeah?" Simon asks, and you happily oblige, taking one of the trays into your hands. "Do you think Roy likes sweets?"
You shrug, genuinely unsure of the man’s food preferences, but Simon seems undeterred. You head to the living room and glance at the Jamie photo shrine, which seems to have grown twice its size after all these years.
You sit down awkwardly next to Keeley who once again greets you warmly, and only allow yourself to glance at Jamie once. It's like he's gone back to being a kid again, resting in his mom's arms as he tells her everything that's bothering him.
After a while, Jamie looks like he's ready to open up, so Georgie tells Simon to tour Keeley and Roy around the house. He agrees, and calls out your name, "You should come with us, too. You probably know some parts of this house better than I do, mainly Jamie's room."
You know he meant that innocently, but you can't help but feel your cheeks heat up at the mention of it. You nod and get up quickly, but not before looking back at Jamie and giving him a small smile. He returns it, and a part of you eases at the sight of it. He's going to be fine.
The four of you start in the kitchen and Keeley interlocks your arm as you lean in, "Did you get my message?"
You nod, "That's why I ran here as soon as I could. Georgie's got it, don't worry." You watch her instantly relax at your words, and you're touched by how much she cares for Jamie, even after he'd been a less-than-perfect boyfriend to her in the past.
Simon continues the tour and every once in a while, Keeley would find you in the photos and squeal about how cute the two of you were in them. She'd left Roy with Simon to learn all about you, along with how it was growing up with Jamie.
You reach the second floor and as Simon walks over to the room where you'd spent at least a fraction of your childhood, you suddenly remember how it's decorated. You try to hold in your reaction as Simon starts, "Here is the main attraction. Jamie's room."
It's just like how you remember it, with all the trinkets you two played with, the pictures of wins, and the trophies he got for them. You even spot a trophy you made for him after his team got second place once.
Your attention is pulled away by Roy's reaction to his poster, "Fucking hell." You chuckle as Simon explains just how devoted Jamie was to it.
"Oh, meat pies are done. Excuse me," he closes the door, revealing your personal favorite poster: Keeley's.
"Fucking hell," she imitates her companion, and you laugh even louder. She turns to you, "Have these two always been there?"
"Yup," you confirm, still chuckling.
"So whenever you two had sleepovers," something you mentioned to her during the door, "those two pictures of us were just hovering about you like that? How'd you manage?"
"Ah well, I got desensitized after a bit, really. Only after I realized Jamie would never take them down, even when I stayed with them for weeks on end. Just closed my eyes and faced the wall."
You decide to show them your own house, pushing back the curtain and pointing at your window. "Look, that's my bedroom. Jamie used to throw pebbles or beer caps to get my attention."
After a few moments of looking around the room, you notice Roy and Keeley sitting down on Jamie's bed, seemingly wanting to talk about something. You decide to excuse yourself and head to the kitchen to help out Simon, and also hopefully get the first taste of the meat pies.
You catch up with Jamie's step-dad as he checks on his pastries. Most of the times you've hung out with Simon were filled with him simply talking about his baking methods and new recipes he was trying out. But after a small lull, Simon's eyes lit up, and went out to grab something to show you.
"I sent a picture of this to Jamie back when I found it. Not sure if he showed it to you, but it is quite cute, don't you think?" He hands you a small photo of you and Jamie in the kitchen as teenagers. The way Jamie looked at you in it, you wondered how you'd feel now if he did it again. Of course, you’ve never been too careful with your surroundings, considering how you’ve never noticed the way Jamie’s eyes lit up every time he even just looked at you.
"Yeah, it's quite nice." You hear footsteps coming your way and hear a voice call out your name. You sit up when Jamie enters. "Hey, could we talk?"
Suddenly, all your nerves come back tenfold. You walk over to him and you head back to the living room, where Georgie is preparing to leave to give you two some space.
The first thing Jamie says as you two sit down is, "I'm sorry." Before you could even respond, he continues, "I didn't mean to ghost you and everything, I just... I was stressed getting ready for this match and going back here to Manchester and I didn't want to dump all of it on you. I'm really sorry."
"Jamie, you don't have anything to apologize for. You didn't do anything wrong and yeah, I missed you, but you needed space and I was okay with giving you that.” The footballer nods as if he’s digesting what you’ve just said. You take his hand into yours and decide to take your father’s advice, as you start, “If it's any consolation to the nerves you’re feeling, I hope you know that I'll always be here. The people that do love you will always be there to support you, including me." He smiles, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach again.
"I missed you, too, by the way. Especially with the last time we saw each other at the match," he whispers and suddenly you can feel yourself blushing again.
"Yeah, we should talk about it," you offer, but you knew that there really wasn't much to say about it all. Staying in limbo between friends and something more wasn't always a bad thing, especially when it was with Jamie. The footballer already seemed to know what he wanted to ask you, but before he could even start, the house phone rang.
Simon comes into the living room, and informs you, "It's your mum, she's asking when you're heading back to the house?"
"In a bit," you tell him and he nods. You turn back to Jamie who's trying to hold back his disappointment at being interrupted. You start, "Maybe you guys should start heading back, too. It's getting late."
He nods, "Right." Jamie gets up from his seat and pulls you up in the process, before realizing something. "Do you want to come to the match tomorrow? I think I'll need the extra support. Plus, you were always my good luck charm before."
"Sure. You're lucky I brought my AFC Richmond shirt with me, too. I was just going to wear it around the neighborhood honestly."
"You should. Make sure everyone knows who your favorite Premier League player is." Jamie teases.
"Yup, Dani Rojas." You retort and he pretends to walk away offended, but you pull Jamie in and kiss his cheek as he wraps his arm around your shoulders.
"Come on, love, I'll bring you back to your house before we go. Like old times," Jamie offers and you happily oblige. You say goodbye to Georgie and Simon and Jamie leads you out the door and to your house.
It takes a few minutes before you can convince your parents to let go of Jamie this time, but you finally manage and promise to see him before the match tomorrow. He surprises you with a kiss goodbye before he jogs back to his house to get Roy and Keeley, looking back at you once more.
—
If you excuse your heart nearly stopping when Jamie got tackled, that may have been one of the best matches you've ever had the pleasure to watch in person. You had no idea what Ted said to Jamie that caused the sudden change in him, but the spark in the player suddenly came back. Getting back onto the pitch, hyping up the crowd's heckling — which you couldn't lie, turned you on a bit, — and even managing to make the goal with an injury? Only Jamie fucking Tartt could manage that.
Considering you had only planned to stay for the game and now had to make it all the way to London, it was a miracle that Keeley instead invited you to join them on the bus to head back. You rushed home to collect your things and say goodbye to your parents — who were already planning to visit you the week after, — and headed to the hotel as the team was loading up onto the bus.
Keeley was there waiting for you and planned to introduce you to the team, but considering a good number of them recognized you from the gala and the other members were too busy celebrating, you instead quietly made your way to the back of the bus where Jamie was resting, while she left to go ride the car with Rebecca.
Considering he had to stretch out the leg over a number of chairs, the coaches instead opted to sit in the middle of the bus, right in the action, as Ted called it.
While everyone celebrated, Jamie still seemed to be wrapping his head around it. He notices you in front of him and smiles widely. "Mind if I join you?" He moves a bit over to make some space for you next to him. "How're you feeling?"
He moves to wrap his arm around your waist and pulls you closer, "Good, better since I get to celebrate beating City." He pumps his fist in the air and you don't understand why you still find it endearing. He scans your body before announcing, "I like your shirt." He plants a kiss on your shoulder before looking back up at you.
"Thanks, Jamie. And what did I tell you? You were great! I'll lose my voice tomorrow from how loud I was cheering you on. Do you know how much energy it takes to be louder than all the booing?" You mention, and all Jamie could do was chuckle. “But it was worth it. So you knew there was at least one person in the crowd cheering you on for the entire match.”
"Thank you," His face falls slightly, as if realizing something, but picks up before he confesses, "I think I might messaged my dad." You turn to look at him properly, but there's no sign of fear in him; only relief. "I, uh, I don't think he was there today, but Ted told me I could at least try to forgive him. Not for his sake, but mine. I don't know, it made sense at the time, but—"
It's your turn now to interrupt him with a kiss. You're lucky no one has decided to look at the back of the bus this whole time. You hold his face as you do so and after a bit of shock, he reciprocates it. After, you wrap your arms around him. "I'm proud of you, Jamie. And I'll be here if you need any help with the message or just want some support when you do it, okay?"
Jamie has a soft expression on his face and smiles at you once again. He laughs at himself before remembering something the two of you left hanging last night, "So, now that all that is out of the way, don't you think we should talk about... this?" He gestures at the position the two of you are in, with your arms wrapped around his torso and his arm draped on your shoulders.
"What about it?" You try and act coy, but you can barely keep a straight face. "We're just friends who reunited after so many years. It's perfectly normal."
He laughs before replying, "It's just," Jamie hesitates a bit, before looking you straight in the eyes and adding, "I don't think friends kiss as often as we do, love."
"That is true," You pretend to think before asking, "Well, what do you want me to be then?"
"My girlfriend, maybe. Since best friend doesn't sound right anymore."
"No, not really. Plus, Liv will definitely fight you for it and that is a match you are not going to win." you exaggerate your headshake and laugh, before leaning into him. "But girlfriend sounds good. Though, I do have standards for my boyfriend."
"Oh, yeah?" Jamie tilts his head and smirks, and you almost fold then and there.
"Yup," you confirm and turn away to list them. "He should be tall, handsome, funny, overly confident but rightfully so, a great football player, knows nearly everything about me including my favorite singer, — "Stevie Nicks, duh," he interjects, — loves my cooking, and me, obviously." You stop before looking back at him and faking an epiphany, "Oh, and his name should be Jamie Tartt."
He takes a minute to think, before nodding, "Pretty sure I fit all those requirements, love." He laughs as he turns to you.
"Yeah? Well, alright then." You move to kiss him once more as Jamie pulls you closer by your waist.
He pulls away, but keeping you in that position before whispering, "I love you, so much."
"I love you, too." You whisper back.
But as you rest your head on his shoulder, some of his teammates decided to move the celebration towards the back of the bus. "Mind if we sit here?" Sam asks politely, though a little louder than he meant. You nod as some of the players start taking the seats around the two of you.
You can tell on their faces they knew something happened between you two, but neither mentioned it and instead continued their celebration with their striker.
You turn back to Jamie, who gives you a sweet, goofy grin when he notices your eyes on him, and all you can do is be grateful for this moment.
At age 7, you believed your best friend Jamie would be in your life forever. At age 19, you believed your best friend Jamie Tartt was gone.
But now, nearly two decades since that little Mancunian boy kicked that ball over the fence, you realize that you had gotten in right at seventeen. Your best friend Jamie Tartt would be the only boy, man, you'd ever truly loved. And you wouldn't want it any other way.
At age 7, Jamie Tartt thought you were his best friend. At age 19, he thought you were his biggest weakness.
But at age 26, he realized that only one thing has remained the same all these years: he is in love with you. That is the ultimate truth. And that's all he needed. You're all he needed.
A/N: yay! we only have the epilogue left, but i'm excited! honestly, i couldn't bring myself to make it anymore angsty, especially because they've already been through a lot. hope you all enjoyed this and thank you again for reading!
TAGLIST: @moonflowersandsparkles @faith-alons26 @rexorangecouny @aiyaiy @thegirlthatwantedtowrite @giggling-sewer-ginger @katdahlali @higherthanheroes @guccilongboard @alipap3 @rockchickrebel @ellietartt @shineforever19 @skewedcherries @jamietarttdodo @meg-ro @deepdarkvelvet @taytaylala12 @loveforaugust @crownofdecitreadingrespectfully @dickgraysonspersonalwhore @jess4rush @scaramou @rae4725 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo (couldn't tag you for some reason?)
you never thought jamie tartt could be anything but a prick.
a/n: i have no explanation for this other than i just finished ted lasso (fashionably late as always) and this man makes me giggle like a little school girl :)
(this is also not spellchecked! i'll do it later ;))
pairing: jamie tart x f!assistant coach!reader
“Does someone want to explain to me just what exactly Jamie Tartt is doing out on the field?”
All three coaches turn to you at the sound of your voice, but it’s Ted’s eyes that light up the second he registers your presence. A smile curls onto his lips as he turns to face you, posture nonchalant with his hands shoved into his pockets. “Ah! Well, if it isn’t my favourite assistant coach, Y/N! I was worried something had happened.”
Blinking back at Ted, you simply cross your arms over your chest. “What is Jamie doing out on the field?”
Ted lets out a laugh but it comes across more as a grimace as he rubs the back of his neck, turning his head to glance at Nate and then Beard.
It’s Beard who explains.
“Ted invited him back to the team.”
The water bottle you’d been holding in your hands promptly falls to the ground with a thud as your lips part, mouth left wide open, staring blank faced at Ted who continues to laugh somewhat uncomfortably.
“What?”
Beard raises his hands as if to gesture that he is an innocent party in your accusation all whilst you shift your shocked expression to a glare at Ted.
“Well, you know… I–I just thought that, well… he’s a good player, yeah?”
Shaking your head, you huff; “regrettably so.” Because even you weren’t bitter enough to not admit that Jamie was a great football player. Fantastic really. But–But he was an absolute prick who you’d thought you’d never have to work with ever again.
“And this team needs a little something to spice us up, yeah?” Ted, in Ted style, does a little dance (that’s meant to make you laugh) to add to the effect of his words.
“No,” you say blankly, before Ted raises a brow at you. Sighing, your shoulders fall. “Yeah.”
Offering you a smile, Ted rests his hand on your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “Give him a chance, okay?” He asks, his eyes pleading as he nods down at you. “I think he really means to make up for it all.”
You seriously doubt that. But, you don’t voice that opinion.
“Fine,” you surrender, dropping your hands to your side. “But I’m allowed to laugh at him when this team kicks his arse. Which they will because he deserved it.”
Ted snorts at that, “don’t worry, Nate’s already got you beat on that front.”
Your eyes shift to said man, and he’s sending you a wide grin and a thumbs up in a way that makes you chuckle despite how truly unhappy you were with Jamie only a few feet away from you, on your team.
-
The only thing that had made practice somewhat bearable was seeing Jamie repeatedly knocked on his ass.
And then mocked by the rest of the team.
Truly, it brought a smile to your face.
You’re still laughing to yourself about it as you finish packing up your stuff in the office you shared with Nate. Him, Ted, Beard and pretty much most of the team were already gone or on their way out the door, but you usually elected to stay a little longer than everyone else trying to come up with new gaming strategies, plays and honestly, team bonding exercises since you found it incredibly important that the team genuinely care for one another if they were going to play on a team together.
You’re just sliding your laptop into your bag when a knock pulls you from your musings.
“Oh, Sam, just give me–”
Except, it isn’t Sam when you finally glance up. It’s Jamie.
You’re leaping to your feet before you can stop yourself, a surge of panic running through your body as your wide eyes meet his. He’s blinking back at you, as if as shocked by your reaction as you were, and before you know it you’re glancing around, half expecting Ted or Beard to be there because why else would Jamie be here?
But neither of them are there, of course, they’d left twenty minutes ago.
“Coach Lasso and Beard have already left,” you explain before he can say anything. “You’re gonna have to wait until tomorrow to talk to–”
Shaking his head, Jamie takes a step towards you. “I wasn’ lookin’ for them. I, uh… was lookin’ for you actually.”
You blink. Once, twice, before your brows furrow. “What?”
He steps towards you again, fully stepping into your office as he scratches at his face absentmindedly, looking just as uncomfortable as you felt. He glances around for a moment before his gaze focuses back on you, and the serious expression on his face is one you’re not used to or know how to react to so you continue to stare blankly at him.
“I wanted to, em, apologize, I guess? Actually, no, not I guess. I am sorry. And I want to apologize for how I treated ya in the past. You know, for all the shitty things I said and did.”
You must be dreaming.
Surely, you’re dreaming.
There’s no way that the Jamie Tartt, famed football star and resident asshole, is apologizing to you. Some random female assistant coach on a team he’d once laughed at for existing? Yeah. Not possible.
But… it’s either that or he’s taking the piss out of you.
Whatever it is, the shock fades in seconds and is quickly replaced by an indescribable amount of anger.
Because, honestly? Screw him. Screw him for thinking he could walk in here, say sorry and it’d all be okay. After all that he did.
“You’re sorry?” You ask, pointing at him.
He nods, slowly.
“That’s funny,” is what you end up saying, letting out a snort as he blinks at you in surprise. “You sure didn’t seem sorry all those times you laughed at me when I tried to coach you. What was it you used to say?” You quirk a brow at him as his face falls, the hopeful glint that you’d accept his apology fading from his eyes as you laugh at him. “Oh, that’s right! That I wasn’t meant to be a coach because I’m a woman and rather, I should just look pretty and help make you look good. And if it wasn’t you belittling me for my job, it was you trying to get in my pants and then laughing about it as if that’s some sort of joke.”
You finish your rant with a huff, shoulders rising and falling heavily as Jamie continues to stare back at you.
You hadn’t really realized how much his comments had truly hurt until that moment. Or, rather, you’d pushed them down so far to the back of your mind that it had been bubbling up until this very moment where he tries to apologize offhandedly like that was going to somehow make things better.
“I may have only known you for a little bit before you left us for Manchester, Jamie,” you add, voice considerably calmer as you frown at him. “But you sure left an impression. And one little apology is not gonna make up for the amount of times I went home crying and feeling worthless, because of you.”
Jamie doesn’t say anything. His lips part like he means to you, but he ends up just gaping at you like a goldfish, looking rather stupid, before there’s a light knock on the door and you’re pulled from your thoughts only to find Sam poking his head into the office. He looks concerned, eyeing Jamie out of the corner of his eye with a certain edge, before turning to you.
Biting your lip, you blink, hating the way your vision blurs and quickly you wipe at your face before any tears can fall.
You refused to cry in front of Jamie.
“Just a second, Sam,” you call, offering him a small, somewhat forced smile. You turn to your desk, grabbing your bag and doing a quick survey to make sure you hadn’t forgotten anything before promptly pushing your way past Jamie and slipping past Sam. He sets a hand on your back to guide you forward, blocking you from Jamie’s view and you don’t see it, but just before Sam turns to walk away himself, he’s sending Jamie a rather nasty glare.
The message is clear; leave her alone.
-
The next morning there’s a vase of flowers sitting on your desk.
Nate is eyeing them when you walk in, before he blinks at the sight of you and quickly turns away as if afraid you caught him staring. You just blink at him, before looking at the flowers once more.
Poking your head out to the main office, you gesture over your shoulder; “where’d the flowers come from?”
Beard raises his hands in a silent gesture that they’re not from him, before your gaze falls to Ted.
“Don’t look at me,” he shrugs. “You’d know if I got you flowers,” he winks with a light chuckle and rolling your eyes as you make your way to your desk. There’s a card in front of the vase and as you take a seat, you take the card, flipping it open.
All that’s written on it is the name of the flowers; Lily of the Valley.
Frowning, you let your eyes wander across the white flowers, leaning forward to smell them and letting your eyes fall shut at the sweet scent.
Only thing is, who sent them?
Leaning back on your chair, you peek into the locker room, trying to see who of the players is there. There’s not too many. There’s Sam, but you walked in with him so you know it’s not him, also he most likely would’ve just given them to you if he was going to get you a bouquet of flowers. Isaac’s there, but you doubt he’d give them to you. Richard and Dani are there, but they're much too forward to try and secretly give you flowers.
And then your eyes fall on Jamie. He’s already looking at you, but he’s quick to glance away the second your eyes fall on him, his cheeks turning a bit red.
Your brows furrow.
It couldn’t–
“Apparently, Lily of the Valley symbolizes apology. Specifically when one doesn’t know how to apologize.” Nate explains, reading off of his phone, the card from your desk in his other hand, before he glances at you with a curious smile. “I wonder who wanted to apologize to you?”
You glance at Nate, before the flowers, before peeking back at Jamie who’s tying the laces of his boots, pointedly not glancing up.
Moving back towards your desk, you stare at the flowers a moment longer.
What the actual hell.
-
“Oh, just–”
Before you can properly register the voice, a blur of blue is suddenly in front of you, opening the door you’d been about to open yourself before your hand can even reach for the handle.
Slowly your eyes flicker upwards to fall on Jamie as he stands beside you, holding the door wide open, a rather proud smile plastered onto his face.
“There ya go,” he offers, head tilting towards the door. “Ladies first.”
Quirking a brow, you nod at Jamie slowly, stepping through the door while you try to fight the smile that threatens to curl onto your lips.
“Smooth, Tartt,” you offer over your shoulder.
He grins back at you, nodding at you.
You can’t help the laugh, however, when instead of stepping through the door like you expected (assuming he’d only done it cause he needed something from here in the first place), he lets the door shut with a goofy wave, leaving you alone in the room.
Pausing, you shake your head.
That was new.
-
“And you, Coach?”
It takes you half a second to realize Jamie is talking to you and you only really realize it because Ted, Beard and Nate are all looking at you, waiting.
Blinking, you swallow thickly, eyes falling back on the team only to see they’re all staring at you as well, also waiting. Your eyes fall on Jamie and he’s smiling at you, happy and all teeth as he rocks on his feet, patiently waiting for you to say anything you might or might not have to say.
It’s not like the rest of the team hadn’t ever asked you for your opinion or if you had any pointers. And of course Ted made sure to consistently ask for your suggestions, wanting to make sure you felt your voice was heard and included.
As the only female coach for a male’s football team, you’d managed to find yourself an incredible group of boys who listened to you despite your gender and actively made sure to try out anything you suggested.
But never had you ever had all their attention like you do in that moment. All of them just standing there, solely focused on you.
And that was because of Jamie.
Biting your lip, you shuffle on your feet. “Oh, well… I–”
But your voice is shaky and you’re not sure how to say what you want, but as your eyes flicker back over to Jamie he’s still grinning at you, smile never wavering and he’s sending you a thumbs up.
As if to say; you got this.
And then the words just seem to pour from your lips after that.
-
The addition of Roy Kent to the line up of coaches is both positive and negative.
And really, it isn’t negative for anyone but yourself. Not that having Roy on the team was negative, just, well… It was already hard enough being the only women assistant coach with two other men, but now you were competing with three men and Roy was nothing if not an intimidating and commandeering addition to the team.
His desk had been squished in between yours and Nate’s and while the man was lovely, if not a little aggressive, by the end of his first day you found yourself drained and feeling like a fool. Roy wasn’t just another man, but he was a previous football star himself; he had the on field experience to back up his suggestions and he knew what he was talking about so that when he did say something, no one really batted an eye to his suggestions.
Or, at least, questioned them.
Worst part was you liked Roy. Sure he swore a lot, and sometimes he’d grunt instead of replying to you but before he’d had to leave the team, he’d always listened to your suggestions with an open mind and never made you or the suggestions feel less just because it was a woman saying them. He was an absolute sweetheart underneath all of the gruff, and you knew him outside of work quite well as well because he was dating Keeley.
So, with the jealousy that you couldn’t help but have, you also felt extremely guilty.
“Are… Are you alrigh’?”
Gasping, you sit up at the voice, panicked eyes glancing around until you settle on Jamie.
“Jesus, Tartt,” you breathe, pressing a hand to your chest as you shake your head. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“Sorry,” he offers with a light laugh. “I didn’ mean to.”
“It’s fine,” you sigh, letting yourself relax once more as you slump against the wall behind you, pulling your knees closer to yourself. “I just thought I was alone. Didn’t think anyone would come wandering in here.”
Jamie steps into the room at that, letting the door shut behind him as he nods. “Saw you come in ‘ere,” he explains, taking a seat across from you. “Wanted to make sure you were alrigh’”
Shaking your head, you brush him off; “I'm fine.”
“You, um… you sure?”
Turning to Jamie, he’s staring back at you in a way that tells you he doesn’t believe you. He’s got a concerned look in his eyes and he’s fidgeting with his fingers, his knee rocking nervously as he tries to find the words to say.
Sighing, you shake your head; “it’s stupid.”
“Not when it comes to ya.”
Blinking, you turn to Jamie, lips parted in surprise. Except, he doesn’t seem shocked by what he said or embarrassed. He continues to stare back at you with that concerned look in his gaze, patiently waiting for you to explain what’s going on.
“It’s just… It’s hard,” you start, struggling to find the words. How do you explain to him, not only a man but the same man that used to belittle you for the exact same thing you’re feeling self conscious about, that you feel like you’re being tested in your own job everyday just because you’re a woman? You weren’t sure he’d understand. And honestly, although you’ve seen the changes in him and regrettably started to believe them, you weren’t positive he wouldn’t just laugh at you for it anyways.
And yet, you continue to speak.
“Being what I am at my job,” you add, eyeing him carefully.
Jamie frowns. “Being a woman?”
Inhaling sharply, you nod; “yeah. I know Ted and the rest of the guys would never belittle me or make me feel less because I am, but… It’s just hard being the only woman coach for a team of men. Even if you guys don’t mean to, and I know you don’t, you all naturally gravitate towards Ted and the guys more than you do me.”
Lips parting, Jamie stares back at you.
Avoiding his gaze, you glance down at your lap. “Makes me doubt myself sometimes.”
“Oh.”
Nodding, you pull at a thread on your pants. “Yeah. Oh.”
Silence follows and you feel ten times more uncomfortable as the seconds pass. You can still feel Jamie’s gaze on you, watching, waiting, maybe trying to find something to say, and it’s making you feel more and more embarrassed as time goes.
Shaking your head, you suddenly move to a stand.
“Anyways, it’s late so you should–”
“I think yer an amazing coach.”
Lips left parted, you turn, only to find Jamie suddenly standing in front of you.
“You make great strategy plays, you are undeniably smart about the terminology and nobody cares about the wellbeing of the team more than you,” he continues, his gaze never once faltering. “You cheer us on and never ever make us feel like we’re doing something wrong or stupid for askin’ for help. I know it feels like we listen to the guys more, but every single one of us leans on your advice heavily and we’d be lost without yer support and guidance.”
Eyes widening, you don’t realize it until you blink that you’re crying.
Your hand falls to your cheek, feeling wetness.
“Shit,” Jamie curses and your eyes fall back on him. “I didn’t mean to make ya cry, I just–”
Your arms wound around him before he can finish, pulling him flush against you as you press your head into the crook of his neck. Jamie freezes at the touch, body tensing but just for a second before he eases, his own arms coming around to wrap around you in return.
“Thank you,” you whisper to him, “I… Thank you so much.”
“O-Of course,” he murmurs, voice low and you can feel his chest rumble against your cheek. “I just… thought ya should know.”
Biting your lip, you pull back at that, quickly wiping the tears off your cheeks as you step away from him. Jamie lets you go with ease, both of your cheeks red, yours burning when you realize you’d not only just flung yourself at him but you’d gotten his shirt wet with your tears.
“I.. I’m sorry,” you whisper, gesturing to his chest. “I didn’t mean to cry on you.”
Jamie shrugs; “no worries, love.”
Meeting his eyes, the two of you stare at each other for a moment, before you’re quickly stepping past him. “Anyways, I should… I should go.”
“Oh. Oh, yeah. Me… Me too.”
Reaching for the door, you glance back at him; “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Nodding, Jamie grins down at you; “see you tomorrow.”
-
“We’ve got a problem.”
Both Keeley and Rebecca turn to you at your words, whatever they’d been saying promptly getting cut off the second they see the panic on your face.
Rushing you inside, they settle on either side of you on Rebecca’s couch in her office, Keeley’s arm wrapped around your waist and Rebecca offering you a cup of tea as they turn to you with concerned eyes.
“Okay, lay it out,” Rebecca says, “what’s wrong and who do I have to fire?”
Letting out a light laugh, you shake your head. “You don’t have to fire anyone.”
“Good,” she nods, “because I didn’t want to fire anyone.”
Rolling your eyes teasingly, you take a sip of your tea before reaching forward to set it on the table.
“Okay, then, babes,” Keeley speaks up, frowning at you, “then what’s the matter? You came in here looking like something horrible’s happened.”
Letting out a groan, you press your hands to your face; “that’s because something horrible has happened.”
“What?” Keeley presses, squeezing your arm.
Taking a deep breath, you hesitate a moment, eyeing the both of them, before you whisper in shame; “I think I fancy Jamie.”
“Like on my team Richmond, Jamie Tartt?” Rebecca adds, pointing at herself before gesturing to her office.
Cheeks burning, you hide your face in your hands again. “Yes.”
Keeley and Rebecca eye each other for a moment, before Rebecca’s pulling your hands away from your face.
“Y/N.”
You just shake your head, trying to grab a pillow to further hide yourself.
“Babes, stop,” Keeley laughs lightly. “Explain to us why you fancy Jamie.”
“Yeah,” Rebecca encourages. “It’s alright.”
Hands falling to your lap with a huff, you frown. “It’s all his fault,” you whine. “Because he’s trying to be better now and I can’t handle that. Before, you know, when he was a prick, that’s just it! He was a prick. And I’m sorry Keeley for saying this but I always found him a little attractive.”
Snorting, Keeley shakes his head; “babes, why do you think I dated him?”
Biting your lip, you sigh. “But he was awful, right?” She nods and Rebecca snorts, clearly feeling that’s an understatement. “And when he came back, I was so mad. Mad because he was so mean and laughed at me and belittled me for being a woman, and not to mention he was terrible to the whole team. Like when he used to bully Nate or hog the ball and never give Sam a chance to show his skill.”
They both nod to your words.
“So I was upset. Upset because he was back and because Ted didn’t tell me or ask me how I felt. And I said to myself that this whole apology thing was just an act and he’d go right back to being his old self in a few days. I was proud of myself too because when he tried to apologize, I didn’t let him.” Keeley squeezes your arm at that and Rebecca smiles proudly. “But then the next day I came in and he bought my flowers!”
Their eyes widen.
“He did?”
“Yeah,” you nod at Keeley. “A big bouquet of Lily of the Valley and you know what Lily of the Valley symbolizes?”
Keeley shakes her head and Rebecca sighs, shoulders falling. “Apology,” she explains for you. “You give them to someone you hurt and don’t know how to apologize to.”
Keeley’s lips part in disbelief; “I never got fucking Lily of the Valley’s.”
Sinking into the couch, you cry out; “exactly! And then he starts opening doors for me and helping me pack things up… he’s listening to me in practice when he never used to, deliberately asking for my opinion after practice after the rest of the coaches have said their pieces. He tells the rest of the team to shut up if he feels they’re not listening to me and he asks me for pointers alone so he can get better. And! God! I was upset and he made this whole big speech about how amazing a coach I am and how the team appreciates me and shit and then I hugged him and cried on him and he didn’t laugh at me or make me feel like shit. He… he was actually really fucking sweet.”
The second you’re done ranting, Keeley and Rebecca glance at each other, before coming to the same conclusion.
“Well,” Keeley says hesitantly. “It definitely sounds like you fancy him.”
Pulling at your hair, you let out a cry.
“No, no,” Rebecca shakes her hand, pulling your hands away from your face and holding them safely in her own. “It’s fine, love. Jamie has really turned himself around.”
“He has,” Keeley is quick to agree. “I mean, he never did any of that stuff for me and we were already in a relationship.”
“But it isn’t fine,” you argue, shaking your head. “Because he’s Jamie Tartt, and he’s fucking fit and now he’s nice too… and he’s a star football player and I’m just Y/N Y/L/N, some random assistant female coach on a team of male football players. No one knows me and I’m not special and I’m not a model or a celebrity or any of the usual types he goes for.”
“That is absolutely not true,” Rebecca says instantly, face appalled as if she can’t believe you’ve just said what you have.
“You are Y/N fucking Y/L/N.” Keeley adds, moving to grip your cheeks tightly between her hands. “The first and only female assistant coach of Richmond who has come up with more strategy plays that have helped us win than anyone else. Not to mention, you are proper fit. You are an absolutely fucking gorgeous and successful woman that Jamie would be incredibly lucky to have.”
Lips parting, you blink. Keeley and Rebecca are both looking at you in a way that leaves no room for arguments and feeling your eyes water, you pout; “you mean that?”
“Of course I fucking mean that.”
“Y/N,” Rebecca calls, squeezing your hands tightly. “I am so proud of you and the woman that you are and incredibly lucky to have you as a coach for my team. I know that, Keeley knows that, the team knows that and it looks like Jamie is aware of that more than anyone else. I know it’s hard to leave yourself vulnerable like this, but at least give him a shot.”
Biting your lip, you meet her eyes, finding the reassurance in them you needed before you glance over at Keeley who is grinning widely, nodding.
“Okay,” you whisper. “Okay.”
-
You’d believed what Rebecca and Keeley said.
Of course you did because you know they’d never lie to you.
And you’d promised them you’d give Jamie a chance before simply believing there’s no way he’d like you. But promising and doing was a lot different, and it’s hard to find the chance to say anything to him over the next few days.
The whole team is anxious because of the game against Manchester City coming up, especially since the last time they’d played them, it was the match that had gotten them regulated. Adding even more to that, Jamie had been on the Manchester team when that had happened and even though you know he’d made great strides towards making up with the team since coming back to Richmond, he was just anxious as the rest of them.
For a multitude of reasons you didn’t understand.
So, there wasn’t a chance to say anything.
And there certainly wasn’t one now that they’d lost. You’d briefly wondered to yourself that if they won, maybe you could run to Jamie and just confess your feelings then, thick in the adrenaline of it all. Like they did in the movies. All sweet and romantic.
Only, Richmond hadn’t won and you certainly weren’t going to now.
Especially when you were just as disappointed as the rest of them.
You’re speaking with Ted and Roy in the locker room when Jamie’s father comes in, and any conversation you’d been having falls silent the second he does.
You watch in stunned silence as Jamie’s father makes an embarrassment of himself, laughing and joking as he makes fun of the team's loss before zeroing in on Jamie himself. He says the cruelest things, and everything clicks in that moment why Jamie was the way that he was before he’d left Richmond.
And when Jamie punches his father straight across the face, you jump and your hands fall to your lips but you’re not shocked and you don’t think Jamie is wrong either.
No one says anything and no one does anything as Beard drag’s Jamie’s father out of the locker room and Jamie stands there, still standing in a defensive position. You want to do something, you want to say something, but you don’t think it’s your place. And you don’t know if Jamie would even feel all that much comfort with having you do anything.
Roy steps past you in the next second, taking Jamie into his arms and he loses it then, his sobs echoing throughout the otherwise silent room.
Ted runs past you at one point, but you don’t notice, eyes stuck on that of Jamie and Roy.
Then, Roy’s pulling away, but Jamie’s still got tears in his eyes, pressing his hand to his eyes as he tries to hide away. Suddenly, Roy’s eyes are on you, and he’s smiling in a knowing way, before promptly kicking everyone else out of the room. Your eyes widen as he does, body tensing in panic as Roy nods at you just before shutting the door behind him, leaving just you and Jamie in the room alone.
You can hear him sniffling to himself, a small sob breaking past his lips as you stand there, feeling out of place and like you’re stepping past his boundaries. So, slowly, you step towards him. “I can, uh, leave too if you’d like some–”
“No,” is all Jamie says before he’s pulling you into a hug, arms wrapping around you tightly as he presses his face into the crook of your neck. You freeze at the action at first, unsure what to do or say, before slowly your body eases, and your arms are raising, hands falling to his back as you squeeze him tightly.
He clutches onto you, sobbing into your neck, and you let him wordlessly, rubbing his back in smooth, slow patterns in a way you hope is comforting.
And the two of you stay like that for a while.
-
Your relationship from then on changes.
More than it already had.
You find yourself willingly hanging out with him when you would’ve avoided it otherwise before. Jamie always seems to be there, lending a helping hand or letting you talk his ear off about something or another.
The two of you never really spoke about what had happened in that locker room but you didn’t need to. It went without saying. You understood Jamie in a way that you hadn’t before, and although it didn’t excuse it, it made sense why he’d been the way had been before and it showed him trying to be better meant a lot more than it had before.
So, the season ends, and you watch the changes Jamie’s doing with a smile and a completely different attitude. When he gives Dani the shot, or when he joins in on team chants before matches. He’s still arrogant and cocky, but it’s in a more loveable way than it had been before, and now when he comes in every morning wearing his stupid ICON hat and dumb sunglasses, you can barely hide the smile that curls onto your lips.
Or the way that despite him wearing such stupid things, you think he looks ridiculously hot.
The season ends and then the new one starts up with one less coach after Nate had left only to join West Ham. It had certainly been a betrayal and you’d be lying if you said it hadn’t hurt. You’d always felt like Nate had understood you in a way maybe some of the others didn’t and the two of you had shared that office alone for so long that you couldn’t help the way you’d cried when you’d realized what he’d done.
Jamie holds you through it.
A soft, gentle and comforting presence that never makes you feel silly for feeling so hurt and betrayed and for that, you’re eternally grateful.
Suddenly, Jamie is someone you can’t live without. You look forward to every morning you see him walk into the locker room, and you find yourself texting him at night, unable to stop the giddy feeling that floods you every time you hear your phone ding and see it’s him calling or texting you.
Keeley and Rebecca tease you all whilst constantly trying to get you to confess. You always say that you will, but you never do.
You’re mad for him, that you know but you don’t know if he’s mad for you and you don’t want to ruin the relationship the two of you have built just because of your stupid feelings. It was nice having him as a friend, and although every time you saw him you just wanted to kiss him, you didn’t want to lose that friendship either.
So you never say anything.
-
“So, I would suggest just–”
“Y/N–?”
Lips left parted at the sound of Sam, you turn to him as he pokes his head into the office. He freezes when he sees Jamie standing behind you, the two of you going over one of his plays, your hand left held with the whiteboard marker and he winces. “I’m so sorry. I did not mean to interrupt you two.”
Jamie is waving his hand in reassurance as you smile at Sam, letting your hand fall; “it’s fine, Sam. What’s up?”
“I just wanted to let you know that I won’t be able to drive you home tonight,” he explains, chancing a quick glance at Jamie before focusing back on you. “I have to run by the restaurant before heading home and I’m not sure how long it will take.”
“Oh,” you blink, shaking your head. “It’s fine, Sam. I can walk home tonight. It’s no problem.” Then, cheekily, you can’t help but add; “as long as when you finally do let me see your restaurant, everything is on the house.”
Laughing, Sam shakes his head; “it already was. And for you,” he points at you with a grin, “it’ll always be.”
Smilingly, you nod, waving him goodbye as he does the same, slipping out of the office. You laugh quietly to yourself as he does, before turning to find Jamie’s eyes on you, and you blink; “sorry,” you offer bashfully. “Where were we–”
“I didn’t know Sam drove you home?”
Pausing, you shift back to face Jamie. “Oh, yeah. He saw that I was walking home one night, offered me a drive and it’s been like that since.”
Jamie nods, slowly. “You two are close.”
“Um, yeah?” You agree with a shrug. “Sam is easy to talk to, I guess. Super friendly and kind.”
“Hm,” Jamie hums lightly. “He does look like he’d make a good boyfriend.”
It takes you half a second to register what Jamie’s said both because you feel that’s a weird observation for Jamie to make and also because when in that conversation did you say he was your boyfriend?
“We’re not dating,” you explain, shaking your head as you laugh. “We’re just friends.”
Jamie’s eyes widen, cheeks warming in faint embarrassment but… is that a hint of relief you see? Probably not, you’re just psyching yourself out.
“Oh.”
Nodding, you bite your lip; “yeah.”
“Cool,” Jamie hums and you raise a brow at him, before turning back to the whiteboard.
“Did you wanna…?”
Jamie is quick to agree, shifting on his feet to put his focus back on what you were saying before Sam had stepped in. But then, just as your lips part to continue, Jamie is interrupting you;
“I could drive you home.”
He says it so nonchalantly you think you imagine him saying it at first.
You glance at him over your shoulder, and he turns to you.
“If you’d like.”
“Um,” and you hate the way your voice shakes or the nerves that rattle your entire being. “Sure… Sure, that’d… that’d be great. If you don’t mind?”
“Not at all,” he assures with a grin. “Why would I mind having a pretty girl in me car?”
Cheeks burning you quickly glance back ahead of yourself to not let him see how much that simple comment made your heart flutter and your insides feel like jelly. Inhaling sharply, it’s hard to fight the smile from curling onto your lips as you move to continue saying what you’d been trying to say before.
You’re so focused that you don’t see Jamie watching you, a grin curling onto his own lips when he sees how flustered you are.
-
“Pretty coach.”
Halting in your step, you glance up, only to have to crane your head upwards when you find Zava, the star player Rebecca had managed to score, staring down at you. He’s tall, very tall, and you’re not exactly sure why he’s here, in the middle of the hall, or why he’s talking to you.
“Zava,” you greet nervously, offering a small smile.
He’s stepping towards you, effectively closing the distance between you as your eyes widen, freezing when he reaches forward to take your hand in his own. Before you know it, he’s pressing his lips against the top of your hand, a gentle, swift kiss as he glances at you through his lashes, smirking.
“I look forward to working under you as my coach,” he explains, accent thick as he pulls his lips away. It doesn’t escape your notice that he doesn’t let go of your hand, though.
“Oh, um, me–me too. But you’ll mainly be working under Coach Lasso since he’s the head–...”
Your words trail when you realize he’s not really listening. He’s just… staring. Directly at you.
Swallowing thickly, with your free hand, you touch your face; “is there something on my–”
“Oh no, no,” he laughs gently, squeezing your hand. “You just have the most beautiful eyes.”
Feeling yourself warm, you meet his eyes in surprise before glancing down at your feet, “oh, um, thank–”
“Oi.”
The new voice is sharp and your head is spinning over your shoulder only to see Jamie promptly making his way over to you. You’re surprised by how angry he looks, but his attention isn’t focused on you and rather Zava as he quickly makes his way over, pulling your hand out of Zava’s and gently pushing you behind him as he blocks you from sight from Zava. You flush when you realize Jamie’s still holding onto your hand, before slowly peeking over his shoulder.
“Tartt,” Zava grins, “it’s wonderful to see you.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Jamie huffs. “Just keep your hands to yourself, okay?”
Raising his hands in surrender, Zava laughs, stepping back as he moves to walk away. His eyes catch yours and he winks at you before turning to walk off.
“Prick.” Jamie hisses under his breath.
You pause at that, turning to him only to see his eyes set in a glare, watching Zava disappear down the hall before you let out a giggle. Jamie’s eyes fall on you the second you do, gaze softening when he sees you giggling.
“What?”
“Nothing,” you smile, biting your lip as you glance up at him. “Just funny. You're calling him a prick.”
Jamie’s eyes widen in mock hurt; “he is!”
“Sure,” you shrug. “And so were you.”
“But not anymore,” he teases, rolling his eyes at you.
“True,” you agree, shocking him by how easily you do. You just continue to smile at him, “definitely not anymore.”
Jamie stares down at you, eyes never leaving your face. “He’s right about one thing, though.”
Quirking a brow, you tilt your head; “yeah? And what’s that?”
“You do have the most beautiful eyes.”
That was the last thing you expected.
Lips parting, you’re burning red as you promptly slap Jamie in the arm.
“Ow!” He hisses, pulling away as his hand (regrettably) leaves yours. “What was that for?”
You just stare back at him, pouting, embarrassed, hoping he can’t hear how fast your heart is beating.
Or notice that the way he said it meant way more than it did coming from Zava.
“Prick.”
Jamie just blinks, pouting; “what did I do?”
-
You let out a laugh as Jamie comes running up on the bus cheering about seeing Windmills, shaking your head with a grin as the rest of the guys cheer him on.
He walks down the aisle, high fiving a few of the guys until his eyes settle on you. Leaning your head against the seat, you grin cheekily up at him. “Did you have a fun night?” You ask with a head tilt, biting the inside of your cheek.
Smiling down at you, Jaime nods; “yeah, you?”
“Perfect,” you assure. “Spent a quiet night in my room.”
“The boys didn’t keep ya company?” He frowns, and he looks like he’s about to say something before you quickly reach forward, grabbing his wrist.
“That was team bonding stuff, silly,” you roll your eyes. “Besides, I had the most relaxing bath. It was fine.”
He glances down at you, not saying anything, but you feel your chest tighten when you see the way his eyes glance across your entire figure at the word bath.
Ignoring the butterflies, you smile; “saved you a seat, see?” You gesture to the empty window seat next to you, and Jamie laughs.
“You want the window seat?”
“Yup,” you grin, shuffling over to the other side as Jamie takes your old spot. You settle down next to him, arm brushing against his as he grins over at you.
“You got lots of training done last night?”
Jamie nods, “yup. Taugh’ Roy how to ride a bike.”
Brows furrowing, you briefly wonder how that happened in the midst of training but you let it go all the same, shrugging as you laugh. “But you made sure to get some rest, yes?” You add, turning to him with a quirked brow. “Because you remember what I said about training? If you push yourself too hard, you’re not going–”
“–to help anyone,” he finishes for you with a chuckle. “Yes, I remember.”
“Good,” you nod, squeezing his arm.
“And you?”
Blinking, you turn to him.
“Did you get some rest last night?”
You nod, touched by his concern. “Yeah,” you assure, “like I said, spent the night in my room, resting.”
“Good,” he repeats your words from earlier and you turn your head away to the window when you feel yourself smiling.
Yet, despite that, an hour later, you’ve passed out on Jamie’s very own shoulder, softly snoring away.
Jamie is careful not to move, not wanting to wake you up, but when Dani turns to take a photo excitedly, he doesn’t stop him.
“Hey,” he whispers to Dani, “send that to me, okay?”
-
“You need to talk to Jamie.”
Raising a brow, you glance up at Roy.
“...I do?”
“He’s a mess,” is all Roy says.
“Okay…?”
“And you need to talk to him.”
Biting your lip, you hum; “because?”
Huffing, Roy rolls his eyes like you’re the one being annoying. “Because you’re the only one he’ll listen to, so you need to talk to him and get him out of whatever funk he’s in.”
“Okay,” you nod, “I’ll talk to him.”
-
You don’t get the chance to talk to him until you’ve arrived at the hotel the night before the game and even then it’s not really you talking to him.
The movie you’d all watched together is over and Ted had set a curfew but Jamie is taking your hand in his, throwing his hood up and leading you out of the hotel without another word. You glance over your shoulder to see Roy glancing at you in confusion, but you just shrug your shoulders and then Keeley is sending you two thumbs up with a bright grin and before you know it, you both are out the hotel and making your way across the street.
You let him lead, expecting him to say something, but he never really does. He’s eerily silent the entire walk, and it isn't until twenty minutes have passed that you finally tug on his grip and pull him to a stop. He glances back at you in surprise but you’re just shaking your head up at him, confused.
“If this is your way of getting me alone to murder me, I’m going to be really upset.”
He blinks at your words, confused at first, before he shakes his head. “No, no… of course not. I… I want you to meet someone.”
“Oh,” you mumble, feeling yourself ease as you meet his gaze. He’s staring back at you, obviously waiting for you to agree and with a gentle smile, you nod.
“Okay.”
It’s his mom.
He wanted you to meet his mom.
You’re confused, extremely so, as Jamie leads you up the steps to a house, knocks and some older gentleman opens the door. He recognizes Jamie and invites the both of you in, and you’re left standing in the entrance way, baffled as you hug your coat closer to yourself, until a woman comes running down the stairs, screaming Jamie’s name and then suddenly she’s in his arms and he’s spinning her and calling her ‘mommy’ and it all clicks.
You can't help the smile that curls onto your lips at the sight, feeling like you’re being allowed to see a side of Jamie others rarely were.
And when Jamie introduces you to his mom, the smile turns into shock when she says; “you’re the one Jamie’s told me so much about!” And before you even have time to register those words or see Jamie glancing at you, she’s wrapping you up in her arms and hugging you so tightly as she gushes about how much she’s wanted to meet you.
You spend the night being welcomed by his mother and her boyfriend, before you leave Jamie to have his much needed conversation with his mom. Simon shows you around the house, before leaving you to glance around Jamie’s childhood bedroom yourself. You all but squeal at his Roy Kent poster, before rolling your eyes at Keeley’s, but happily glance round the rest of the room. You look at all his trophies and childhood photos, little drawings he’d done or books he’d read.
Before you know it, Jamie’s poking his head into the room and calling for you.
“Oh, Jamie,” you smile, “are you all done catching up with your mom?”
He nods, “yeah, you wanna get out of here? Go back to the hotel?”
“Sure,” you agree with ease, stepping toward him. He sets his hand against your back, leading you back towards the door where you say your final goodbyes. You thank Simon for the tour and give Georgie a huge hug, expressing how happy you were to meet her before she makes you promise you’ll come by and visit again.
You’re not quite sure how to reply to that, but it’s okay because Jamie does it for you, promising the two of you will stop by for an actual dinner soon.
And then, it’s just the two of you, making your way back to the hotel.
“So,” you call out, glancing at him from the corner of your eye. “You told your mum about me?”
Jamie rolls his eyes at that, huffing. “Of course I did. Why wouldn’t I?”
That certainly isn’t the response you were expecting, so, with warm cheeks, you glance at your feet.
“Got it all sorted now?”
Jamie hums, “yup. Sorry if I worried ya.”
You shake your head. “Think you had Roy in more of a panic, if I’m being honest. Poor man couldn’t breathe, he was so worried.”
Jamie snorts at that, lightly nudging you with his arm. “So, ya weren’ worried at all?”
Turning your head, your smile fades as you meet his gaze. “No, I was. I just didn’t want to overstep.”
“You could never overstep,” Jamie assures, “I should’ve been open about how I was feelin’. Just needed to sort it out for meself.”
Smiling softly to yourself, you hug your hands behind your back. “Well, I’m glad you figured it all out, Jamie. Really. Now you can kick some serious ass tomorrow, yeah?” You’re smiling as you say it, nudging him back with your own arm as the two of you continue to walk.
Then, suddenly, Jamie stops.
Frowning, you glance back at him; “are you–?”
“Me mum helped me with somethin’ else.”
“Oh,” you mumble, not sure where he was going with this. “What’s that?”
“Said I should stop being such a pussy and tell you how I really feel.”
Lips parting, you freeze. “Oh.”
Jamie nods, slow, and you can tell he’s nervous by the way he’s shuffling on his feet. “So… here goes.”
Your eyes widen when he steps forward, closing the distance between the two of you until he’s right in front of you, inches away. Your eyes follow him, head tilted back as you stare up at him, unsure what to do or say. But you don’t need to, because Jamie is speaking up in the next second.
“I’m in love with ya,” he confesses, letting the words just slip past his lips. “I’ve been in love with ya since you hugged me after me dad in Wembley. Maybe before that, I dunno. All I know is that when I came back to Richmond, all I was focused on was makin’ everyone like me again and then you yelled at me that day in yer office and I realized it was more than that. It wasn’t just about makin’ people like me, but makin’ up for the cruel things I'd done. I’m so sorry for the way I treated ya before, but I want you to know that I think the absolute world of ya. You are kind and sweet and smart and proper fit and… I dunno, you might not feel the same but I don’t wanna go on another day not having you know how crazy I am for ya.”
His words settle, carry on in the silence, as you stare back up at him, lips left parted, disbelief coursing through your veins.
Jamie’s confidence wavers as the silence carries and he’s shuffling on his feet in worry as he swallows thickly. “You don’t have to say anythin’,” he assures, rambling now with nerves. “I just wanted ya to know, so–”
But you cut him off by pressing your lips firmly against his own.
Jamie stumbles back from the pure force of the kiss at first, before he catches his balance and the shock fades and his hands are falling on your waist as he squeezes, returning the kiss with just as much passion. Maybe more. He kisses you like he’s been waiting to do this for weeks, and you realize, he maybe has. He holds you like you're the only thing in that moment that matters and you let yourself sink into his touch, turning to putty in his hands as you thread your fingers through his hair.
Then, slowly, you pull away, breathless as he smiles down at you.
“I love you too,” you whisper, “since the day you left me those flowers.”
Jamie’s eyes widen and his lips part but you don’t have the care to be embarrassed by your confession; it just felt good to finally, finally be able to say the words out loud.
“And I am so excited to see you kick ass tomorrow.” You breathe out, pressing your hands to his cheeks as you smile up at him, eyes dazed and sparkling with delight.
Pressing his forehead against yours, Jamie presses a gentle kiss to your lips.
ׂ╰┈➤ 18+ none of these stories belong to me! this is a masterlist of all jamie tartt stories i’ve read and reblogged! just thought it would be nice to have them all in one spot! (if your fic is on here and you wish not to be, please let me know!)
╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮
☁︎change in perspective by @justauthoring
⟿ you never thought jamie tartt could be anything but a prick.
☁︎saved you a seat by @benedictscanvas
☁︎gentlemen by @danistartt
⟿secret dating because reader works for Richmond (as like pr or physio or something) but when they win a match one day Jamie is so overcome with joy he just has to kiss her
☁︎@axelsagewrites
⟿bus ride
⟿decide royjamie x reader
☼they both like you and when they came to settle it once and for all neither of them expected this out come
☁︎ @pandorasprongs
⟿i’d be better armed if you agreed to take it
☼higgins' new assistant happens to be an old friend of the reader's, and their reunion hits jamie with major feelings of jealousy. when the team thinks that the pair of them are going on a date soon, jamie decides enough is enough.
⟿comfort crowd, you can always count
☼reader gets cheated on and jamie, whose trying to be a better friend and person, decides to help her out by hiding her phone for the day.
☁︎ @rqgnarok
⟿i can see you
☼you and jamie have been watching each other for ages, trying not to feel the pull between you. a moment in the hallway changes everything.
⟿delicate
☼jamie hadn’t planned on dating. his reputation’s never been worse. but then he met you.
⟿music to my eyes
☼jamie has a crush on the band’s bassist.
☁︎@its-time-to-write
⟿three times ‘cause i’ve waited my whole life
⟿coffee at midnight
☁︎@buckychristwrites
⟿about you
☼Your job? Pop culture journalist for The Independent. Your assignment? To write a profile on the cocky footballer that you’re publicly feuding with.
⟿could this be
☼One minute, you're single and working for AFC Richmond as the team's medic. The next minute, you're in a fake relationship with the team's handsome striker who you know next to nothing about…
☁︎i can see you by @hopefulromances
⟿Roy's sister comes back to town
☁︎fuck by @wlntrsldler
☁︎spring rolls and stocks by @veryberryjelly
☁︎distractions by @illiterateaffairs
☁︎you’re obsessed by @mllersjoel
⟿ he has a huge crush on an actress and sees her at a richmond event and she flirts w him he’s really shy bc he likes her
woah, only managed to see this now, but thanks sm for including my one shots on here !! it's nice to see people still reading them after all these months :))
hi! i realized that it might start being difficult to navigate all my oneshots, so i decided to make a masterlist instead! not sure yet if i'll be writing for other characters/fandoms since most of my inspo is for jamie so at this point in time, all the following stories are about jamie tartt!
comfort crowd, you can always count.
i'd be better armed if you agreed to take it.
and i don't even like you that much. wait, i do. f*ck.
call it what you want.
if it weren't for second chances, we'd all be alone.
i've already mapped out this story, so until further notice, this is the length of the whole fic! as i post the chapters, i'll gradually update the titles here :)
PROLOGUE - hold on to the memories.
CHAPTER ONE - nothing good starts in a getaway car.
CHAPTER TWO - you'll always know me.
CHAPTER THREE - so inviting, i almost jump in.
INTERLUDE - are we still friends?
CHAPTER FOUR - come home to my heart.
CHAPTER FIVE - this is what it feels like.
CHAPTER SIX - ?
EPILOGUE - ?
PLAYLIST:
some songs that helped me along while writing and the lyrics of some of them are actually where i got the title chapters from! i didn't put the songs in order, but you can try and tell what direction the story is going to go based on them (insert evil laugh)!
1. it's nice to have a friend by taylor swift
2. mess it up by gracie abrams
3. new year's day by taylor swift
4. dorothea by taylor swift
5. you & me by the wannadies
6. 1, 2 by mxmtoon
7. bite the hand by boygenius
8. still into you by paramore
9. feels like by gracie abrams
10. angels like you by miley cyrus
11. cardigan by taylor swift
12. daylight by taylor swift
13. are we still friends? by tyler, the creator
14. first time by lucy dacus
15. gold rush by taylor swift
16. true blue by boygenius
17. promise by laufey
18. two people by gracie abrams
19. bags by clairo
20. miss me by zeph
21. just because by sadie jean
22. two weeks ago by maisie peters
23. back to december by taylor swift
24. supercut by lorde
25. fool by frankie cosmos
'it's nice to have a friend' masterlist + playlist | previous chapter
PAIRING: jamie tartt x fem!reader
WORD COUNT: 5.0k
SUMMARY: reader is starting to forgive jamie, even going to a charity gala together.
WARNINGS: language, mentions of what happened in amsterdam
A/N: yay! welcome back to me, i guess HAHAHA sorry for going ia for how many months, life just got in the way and i wasn’t able to make time for writing. i’m a bit rusty at this, but this is an extra long chapter and is mostly fluffy (at least, imo), so i hope you guys enjoyed it! we’re down to the last two (maybe three?) chapters of our story, which i hope you all will like :) see you then and thank you again for waiting!
Your relationship with Jamie did start getting better. Slowly, but surely. It wasn't the same as the past few months, though. That repair of your relationship was built on denial and was bound to come crashing down like it did.
You were still talking, but he wasn't coming over every weekend anymore. He was the one who suggested it too, so you wouldn't feel pressured to decide if you forgive him just yet. He wasn't pushing for an immediate answer either and he was making that clear with how he was acting.
He sometimes sends you a message just to check in and your replies were short, but not apathetic. You'd do the same too, usually after his matches, specifically when it ended on a loss, since most of them were as of recent. What was it, seven matches at this point?
The loss at the Man City game was especially painful, but after you saw the article about Zava's retirement, you had hoped that some part of Jamie was relieved about it all.
Your suspicions are confirmed when you hear Jamie knocking at your door. You open it and instantly get blinded by the light. "Fucking hell."
"Shit, sorry," Jamie exclaims, shutting off his headlamp. Once the light is gone, you finally get a clearer look at the footballer. He was in a grey hoodie which was starting to get all sweaty, and was currently jogging in place. "Went out for a workout with Roy before dinner, and we went pretty far. He already went home though."
You knew where Jamie lived and if he had run that entire length, you don't know how he's not passed out at your doorstep. "Congrats, I think. Why'd you pass by?"
"I wanted to see you," he answered, a little out of breath. You'd be lying if you said your heart didn't skip at that. "If that's not weird."
"No, it's not," you answered quickly, a smile creeping on your face. "D'you wanna come in? I made some pasta if you haven't eaten yet." You offer without thinking but don't retract it in any way. Things like these would help you bond again right? And after seeing Jamie give you a genuine smile and a soft look with his eyes, your worries instantly dissipate.
So now you're having dinner with Jamie and barely any words are spoken, until he mentions, "I'm going to Amsterdam in a couple of weeks. We're having a friendly against Ajax."
"Amsterdam?" Maybe you should've hidden the worry in your voice better.
As far as you know, Jamie had a complicated relationship with that place. You don't know what happened, never wanting to press for too many details, but the first time he went there with his dad, your best friend came home a shell of himself.
—
You headed over there the moment your mom told you he was back and while you half-expected Georgie to turn you away in case his dad was still there, what you ended up seeing was worse. You found Jamie lying down in his bed, just staring at his ceiling. When you called out to him, he made no move to acknowledge that he had heard you.
You were fourteen and uncomfortable with emotions, but you knew you needed to do something for him. You made multiple attempts to try and get a verbal response from Jamie, but it fell on deaf ears.
It was only when you asked if you could lie down next to him did he finally move. He turned to face the wall and his back towards you, but you didn't say anything about it. Instead, you wrapped your arms around him.
"If you don't want to talk about what happened, it's okay," you whispered. "I'll just stay here with you."
In one swift move, Jamie turned around and pulled you into a hug. It was almost instinct that you pulled him closer.
You don't really know how long you stayed like that, but it was long enough that you started to get sleepy and eventually drifted off. The next morning, you woke up in an empty bed. Your grogginess quickly turned into confusion.
It would've turned into panic soon if Jamie hadn't walked back into the room as he dried his hair with his towel.
"Oh, you're awake," He said softly. From his voice alone, you wouldn't have been able to tell that he spent that night crying, if not for the bags under his eyes betraying him. The swelling had gone down from the cold water, but the redness was still there.
You don't say anything at first, unsure of how to proceed. But Jamie breaks the tension by asking, "Do you wanna have breakfast before you go back? Smelled mum's cooking from the hallway.”
"Okay." Jamie pulls you up from the bed but doesn't let go of your hand as you head down the stairs. He squeezed it tightly as you walked into the kitchen, his own way of saying thank you.
—
That's how the two of you always were. Talking about your feelings was never a strong suit, but that didn't mean you weren't there for one another. It's how you dealt with hard times as kids, but maybe it was time to ditch that as adults. Or at the least, work on expressing yourselves better.
As if Jamie could read your mind, he gives you a reassuring look, "I don't really think about that trip anymore. Don't really remember much of it either. I just remember the second time. When we were 16 right?"
"Oh yeah," You chuckle at the reminder. Jamie's mom had planned a trip for the two of them to Amsterdam and your parents just happened to also be figuring our your own summer holiday plans.
The five of you spent a week there going on tours, visiting museums, and all the usual tourist activities. One of the pictures you still had of you and Jamie was one your dad took when you visited some tulip fields. Jamie had his arm around your waist and both of you were holding stroopwafels, impatiently waiting to eat them.
A group of old ladies passed by as the photo was being taken and thought you were a young couple, which both of you were quick to deny. Things were only awkward for about twenty minutes till Jamie started chasing after your stroopwafel because he had already finished his.
"That was pretty fun, wasn't it?"
"Mhm," Jamie says as he continues to eat. "I still remember all the facts you made me memorize. Might try and annoy Roy with them."
The two of you continued to talk that night and for the first time since that night in Nelson Road, being with Jamie didn't put a pit in your stomach. There was no longer a nagging voice in your head reminding you of the past or the rising feeling of resentment when he'd joke about the past few years. Instead, you were just content and happy to be there with him.
When you finished your meals, you suddenly got a waft of Jamie and almost gagged. "Oh my God, you definitely need to shower."
Jamie pulled his hoodie up to his nose and cringed. "Right. I guess I should head home now."
"No. I am not letting you out into the streets of London smelling like that. You can shower here," you offer and without giving Jamie a chance to respond, you start walking over to the bathroom.
Jamie lagged behind a bit but caught up as you pulled an extra towel from the cabinet. "You can go to the guest room for spare clothes. Dad leaves a bunch of them here when they come over. Oh, and slippers too if you want to give your feet a rest." The footballer gratefully takes the towel and heads into the bathroom.
When you hear the water start, you move to walk back to the living room when you pass by your bookshelf once again, the empty spaces between your books glaring at you. You head into your room and open your closet to pull out the pictures. You pick up the one from Amsterdam, from your graduation, and from your 10th birthday, and scatter them around the shelf.
You go get ready for bed and change into your pajamas before going back to the living room to wait for Jamie. After 30 minutes — or an episode and a half, — you hear him call out your name.
You find Jamie in the hallway in one of your dad's giant grey shirts and sweatpants. When you approach, he finally asks, "Have these always been here?"
He points towards the frames and you realize that despite the number of times Jamie's been in your flat, he's never looked at the top of your bookshelf.
"I put them there pretty recently." You admit before turning towards the footballer.
Jamie catches your eyes and seems to be debating whether to say something. He finally speaks up, "So I take it you've..." but he trails off, leaving you to finish it.
"I forgive you. Well, I think I’m starting to," you start. "I guess these past few months, I've been compartmentalizing my anger towards you and that wasn't fair. I know neither of us is particularly good at expressing our feelings, but we should've talked about this back when we saw each other again. That's my fault, I admit and I'm sorry. But I'm happy now, spending time with you and I don't have this sinking feeling that it'll all go to shit anymore. So yeah, I think I forgive you, Jamie."
You give him a wide smile and before you know it, Jamie wraps his arms around you tightly. Your smile only grows wider as you pull him closer.
This is what you've missed all these years. Being so comfortable and safe with Jamie, that him randomly hugging you doesn't take you by surprise anymore. You're content and happy. And you have Jamie, your Jamie, back.
He breaks apart from you and the two of you walk back to the living room, the sitcom still playing on the TV. You expected him to make his exit by now, but seeing as you've just made up, Jamie felt confident enough to stick around a bit longer. He takes a seat across from you on the couch. Maybe it was because he was fresh out of the shower and no longer wearing sticky clothes, but he felt freer than ever.
Jamie glanced down at his phone at notifications from the team group chat and suddenly remembered another reason why he passed by your apartment. "Are you doing anything Friday?"
The last time Jamie asked you that, it ended with one of the worst outbursts you've ever let out, but you tried not to be reminded of that. Besides, you trusted that he'd keep his word; he wouldn't break your heart once again.
"Not really. My lectures are all in the morning that day. Why?"
"There's this charity ball that my boss does every year and I was looking for a plus one," Jamie explained slowly, before turning to you to see your reaction. "If you want. You know, as friends."
You don't know what stunned you more: the way your heart swelled when Jamie asked you to go with him to an event or the sinking feeling that appeared when he added the 'as friends' part. All this tension and ghosting these past few weeks made you forget all about those pesky, jittery feelings that you still had for him, but now that the dust had settled, they were coming back.
You try to ignore it, just for this moment, and prepare to answer him. But the more you thought about this "charity gala," the more you realized what you were about to agree to.
"Wait, is this the thing where people bid on football players for dates?" You remember seeing an article on it a few years back where three women got into a bidding war for Jamie. "Fucking hell, if you're just doing this to stage another bidding war for you, then—"
"No! 'Course not! You kept saying before how you want a reason to dress up!" Jamie's quick to defend himself and you fall back into your seat. "Plus, I can't have Richard setting me up on yet another disastrous date, I just can't."
You say nothing, absorbing his plea, but then watch as Jamie's expression turns mischievous. He teasingly asks, "Why? Would you actually bid on me? You're already spending time with me for free." He playfully elbows you and you take in a whiff of the lavender-scented body wash you kept in the guest bathroom.
You roll your eyes and cross your arms. "Christ, and they should be paying me for it, too." You reply, but you avoid eye contact with Jamie knowing how easily you'd break into laughter if you did.
"Fine, I'll go with you." You finally agree and before Jamie can celebrate your response, you add on. "But, you owe me a date, too. To Liv's wedding."
Jamie takes a second to reply, and you worry your usage of the word "date" threw him off. But quickly enough, his mischievous smile returns and he agrees, "Alright, it's a deal."
Neither of you mention the gala again till Jamie finally decides he has to get going — "It'll be worse for me if Roy gets to my house and I'm not there," — and says he'll send you the formal invite when he gets home.
It only sinks in when you're getting ready for bed that you're actually going to a formal gala. With Jamie. As his (friendly) date. Next week. What a way to start the new era of your friendship, right?
You wonder how exactly he'd introduce you to the rest of the people there. As his childhood friend? His date? Every option made you feel jittery inside, and you have a hard time accepting that it's possible you're falling for Jamie once again.
The first time you ever found him attractive was at the ripe age of 16, after locking eyes with him when he was celebrating one of his team's wins. It was that summer of growth spurts and you started to see what everyone else did; Jamie Tartt, your best friend, was fucking fit. It only took a year till you fully accepted it, but ultimately decided to never act on it. Well, aside from that one time, which neither of you brought up again after the morning after.
It took another two years before you gave up on those feelings and buried them deep down, or at least tried to. But allowing Jamie's friendship back into your life brought those feelings back up to the surface.
So, the week went by quickly and you were now waiting in your apartment in a cropped silk camisole, high-waisted black trousers, and wedge heels that Liv let you borrow, pacing a hole into your floor. All you did with your hair was pin the side bangs away from your face and you hope that's enough.
You hear a knock on your door and you almost trip on the bottom of your pants to open it. You find Jamie in an almost identical outfit to the one he used for his date before, except in a different color. His hair had been slicked back, reminiscent of his older hairstyle but the highlights made the look pop more.
When his eyes land on you, Jamie takes a second to scan you before exclaiming, "Fucking hell."
With a teasing tone to try and make yourself feel more at ease, you ask, "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
Jamie looks back up at your eyes and smiles, "You look great." You don't detect a hint of banter from the guy which makes you feel warm inside, until he adds, "Though, I half expected you to wear your dress from our year 12 formal."
"Jamie, I swear I can still find something else to do tonight." You threaten but are unable to stop the smile creeping up on your face.
Jamie just chuckles and takes hold of your hand as if it's the most natural thing in the world. "Come on," He realizes what he's just done and pauses to see your reaction, but when you tighten your grip on his hand, he continues, "Need to get there early so they don't swarm me for pictures." You roll your eyes as the two of you head out of the building.
You actually did get to the venue quite early, since the photographers were still setting up the booth and so the two of you walk over to two ladies, one of whom you recognize as Keeley Jones. After he introduces you, — as his friend and plus one, no mention of the word "date" — you soon find out that the taller one is Rebecca Welton, the owner of AFC Richmond.
"Wow, so you two practically control Jamie's career. Blink twice if you need me to take him off your hands." You lean in towards the two of them but speak loud enough for Jamie to hear and he pulls you back to his side as you laugh. The two women chuckle and share a look between them that you don’t know them well enough to understand, so instead you brush it off.
Jamie gets called for photos and Rebecca leaves to greet the guests heading inside the venue, so you're left standing with the PR manager of the team. As you watch Jamie cycle through various poses, Keeley leans in to ask you, "So, how long have you known him?"
"Well, I met Jamie when I was seven, but when I went off to uni and he joined Man City, we kind of drifted apart and didn't really talk for the next few years." That was basically the truth, anyway. "But I went to one of the Richmond games and we bumped into each other."
"Well, I'm glad the two of you met again. Honestly, Jamie's become much more tame recently. He hasn't had any Twitter feuds or issues in weeks. Makes my job a lot easier." You chuckle, knowing that instead of fighting back, Jamie ends up just complaining about it to you. She adds, "You must be a good influence on him."
"People have been saying exactly that since we were kids, so maybe it is true." You reply and Keeley gives you a wide grin.
When you head into the venue, there are already a few guests settling down in the area. You recognize some of them as footballers, — both from AFC Richmond and other teams, even some retired ones — business owners who are trying out being philanthropists, and people you've seen on magazine covers.
You were less uncomfortable than you expected because everyone's attention was on Jamie. You stood by him while he greeted a bunch of people and continued to introduce you as his plus one. You hated crowds when you were kids and Jamie knew that, so he'd always check on you if you wanted to go to your seats ahead of him. You'd shake your head every time because you've already had years to get over that fear. Plus, everyone had been nice so far and more polite than you expected rich people to be.
Everyone finally decides to leave Jamie alone and the two of you head to your table, where some of his teammates are already seated and chatting amongst themselves. You recognized them immediately: Sam Obisanya, Dani Rojas, Isaac McAdoo, Colin Hughes, and Richard Montlaur. Without Jamie even having to introduce you to them, Dani had already asked what your name was.
“What a lovely name! I’m Dani.” You shake the hand he offered you, as the other players start to welcome you as well. They were so warm and kind, that it’s no wonder Jamie had gotten so much better during his time at Richmond. It seemed their energy was so infectious that it was rubbing off on Jamie.
Though, it could be a bit overwhelming too, as they all wanted to have a conversation with you. Someone had asked, “Tell me more about growing up with Jamie,” while someone else chimed in, “Do you think there’s a correlation between your genes and how well you can shoot a penalty? Because Colin here…” and somewhere in the mix, you hear, “That’s a lovely bag you have. Where’d you get that?”
While Jamie was enjoying watching his favorite person interact with his favorite group of people, he started to notice how tense you were becoming, despite the plastered smile on your face. He reached out to grab your hand as he interrupts all the conversations with, “Alright, alright, I think the programs about to start. Let’s stop bothering my date for now, yeah?”
Date. The word alone sent chills down your spine. Even more so when you turned to look him in the eyes, and he had a look of concern that only you could’ve detected. You breathe a sigh of relief and give him a comforting look, which allows him to relax, too.
You both turn towards the stage as Rebecca, along with Ted, their coach, walk up to the mic. They start with the basic pleasantries, thanking everyone for coming, with Ted’s occasional funny chime-ins. As they segue into the auction itself, you can hear your own table come back to life. The teammates started to tease one another when Colin turns to you, “Oi, looks like you’ll have to put up a fight for Jamie tonight.” He nods towards the table behind yours, and you spot a familiar looking lady, smiling at the man beside you. It’s only when Jamie groans that you realize who it is: the old woman who was one of three people in Jamie’s “bidding war” two years ago.
“Oh my god,” you’re unable to stifle your laughter and instead turn away to try and hide it. “You know what, I think I’m fine going home alone, Jamie. This isn’t the first time you’ve gone off at a party to get lucky, so go have fun!” You tease him, but instead, he turns to you with a desperate look in his eyes.
“Please, don’t do this to me, (Y/N). Make sure you win.”
You scoff and lean in, “Who says I’m even bidding tonight? I’m not even tenured, Jamie. How much money do you think I have?”
Jamie pleads once more, “Please. I’ll pay you back in full and you can pick all the movies we watch for the rest of the month. Anything, come on.” You sigh and finally give in to his puppy dog eyes.
You give him a slight nod and he quietly thanks you, as Ted starts to introduce the team. “Let’s start the auction with one of our striking strikers, Mr. Jamie Tartt!”
Jamie gets up and walks over to the stage, and it’s only then you realize he had been holding your hand this entire time.
Ted rests a comforting hand on his shoulder, but before Richmond’s coach can even start the bidding, you hear a loud voice behind you exclaim, “Five thousand pounds!”
You have to hold in your chuckle as you turn to Jamie who is now desperately staring at you. You raise your paddle high enough and shout, “Six thousand pounds!”
“Oh, and another bid from Mr. Tartt’s lovely date tonight. Can anyone match that, do I hear seven thousand?” The lady once again raises her paddle.
“Eight thousand!” You exclaim once more, as Jamie lets out a sigh of relief.
This back and forth goes on for a while, up until the final bid (from you, unfortunately) of fifteen thousand pounds. The football player finally allows himself to relax and with one final slap on the back from his coach, makes his way back to you.
“Thank you,” he whispers, squeezing your shoulder as he gives you a quick hug and sits down. You playfully roll your eyes, but give him a small smile back. A few more rounds of bidding take place until Jamie leans back into you. “You feel like going on that date now?”
You turn to him confused, “Like, right now? We’re in the middle of the program.”
Jamie shrugs, “We’re done with our part now and gave out a good amount for the charity. Most of them won’t even notice us leave, come on,” He takes hold of your hand, and as if on cue, activating those butterflies in your stomach, yet again. “Unless you want to bid on someone else tonight, which in that case, I didn’t know you had that in you.”
You roll your eyes but eventually agree. You say your short goodbyes to everyone at the table and Jamie leads you to Rebecca and Ted, who, after Coach Beard — you believed his name was? — had taken over for him, was currently gorging on the appetizers.
“Hey boss, Ted, we’re heading out early, but see you both on Monday.” Jamie quickly explains, still not having let go of your hand. You’re starting to wonder if he’ll ever notice or has just grown used to it like he was before.
“That’s no problem, Jamie, see you and thank you for coming!” Rebecca directed that last comment towards you and you give her a big smile. But his coach wipes his mouth with his table napkin and stands up to greet you anyway.
“Well, I can’t let you go off yet without introducing me to this lovely lady.” Ted reaches out to shake your hand and you take it quickly before he leans to whisper to Jamie, but loud enough for you to hear. “Is this her?”
“Jamie Tartt, do you talk about me to your coach?” You ask teasingly, but instead of his usual reaction of fake annoyance, he turns away shyly.
Ted replies for him instead, saying, “Oh well, not all the time. I usually have to pry it out of him, too.” He nudges the football player, who finally decides that it is definitely time for you two to leave. He leads you out of there and the pair of you walk back to his car in a comfortable silence.
You may not have realized it till now, but the inside of the venue was the stuffiest place you’ve been to in a while. Sure, the people were nice, but the mixing of colognes and posh accents was starting to get to you. Before you can thank Jamie for getting you out of there, he’s rifling around his jacket for something.
“I, uh, found something in some of my old stuff. Was planning to give it to you before we left, but I… got distracted,” you try and ignore the warm feeling creeping up on your cheeks as he says that and instead watch Jamie turn back towards you, pull out your hand, and place an item on your palm. “Here.”
You look down to find a small plastic ring with a “gem” in an obnoxious pink color. You chuckle as you’re reminded of the toy rings Jamie would give you on your birthday as kids, till you realize… you’ve been missing one of them since you moved out.
“Wait, is this…” You start and look back up at Jamie, who has a sheepish look on his face. Definitely doesn’t fit him.
“Yeah, I forgot to tell you because well, we weren’t really talking all these years, but I went by your house a few days before you left for uni, but you weren’t home and so I went to your room and saw that lined up with the rest of them on your drawer. I thought you were crazy for keeping them all those years, and I wanted to mess with you, so I… took one of them, hoping you’d notice. You never did though, so now I look kinda stupid.” He explained guiltily, but you could only laugh.
“I thought it just fell into the trash when I was moving out. If you wanted me to notice you taking something, you should’ve taken my shoes or something. Why the ring?” You lean onto the side of his car, and Jamie joins you on your right.
He shrugs and swipes his hair back, “I don’t know. We were going our separate ways and you were going all the way to Wales for so long. I realized it was going to be a while before we saw each other again. I thought, maybe if you’d realize it was missing and wanted to go looking for it, you’d always have a reason to go back to me.”
You feel a heavy weight on your chest as the last part sinks in. After everything that’s happened, it had never occurred to you that even at one point, Jamie was afraid of losing you too.
You sit in that silence for a while before you decide to rest your head on Jamie’s shoulder, in one way telling him, I would always go back to you. He got the message.
“I know it doesn’t go with your usual outfit choices now, but I just thought you’d want it back anyway.” He whispers, causing a smile to form on your face.
“Thank you, Jamie.” You look back up at him, his face softening at the sight of yours. “You wanna go on that date now?” You straighten back up and take his hand in yours this time. “What does the legendary Jamie Tartt have planned for this one?”
Jamie looks around and spots a bike rental on the other side of the car park. You didn’t even have to ask to know what he was thinking. “Race you back to that ice cream shop across your flat. Last one there has to pay.”
“What kind of date is that, Tartt?!” You exclaim, as he drags you across the street.
If there’s one thing you knew about Jamie, it was that he was a sore loser. So after you dropped your bikes in front of your flat and were massaging your calves waiting for your sundaes, this may have been the happiest you’ve seen him lose at something in your whole life.
TAGLIST: @moonflowersandsparkles @faith-alons26 @rexorangecouny @aiyaiy @thegirlthatwantedtowrite @giggling-sewer-ginger @katdahlali @higherthanheroes @guccilongboard @alipap3 @rockchickrebel @ellietartt @shineforever19 @skewedcherries @jamietarttdodo @meg-ro @deepdarkvelvet @taytaylala12 @loveforaugust @crownofdecitreadingrespectfully @dickgraysonspersonalwhore @jess4rush @scaramou @rae4725 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo (couldn't tag you for some reason?)
hi !! i missed you all too and yes, i'm doing good :) i just got really busy with life and everything, so i couldn't find the time to squeeze in the chapters. but! i am back for a while to hopefully finish my series! no promises if i'll be making new ones any time soon, but we'll see!
i've already mapped out this story, so until further notice, this is the length of the whole fic! as i post the chapters, i'll gradually update the titles here :)
PROLOGUE - hold on to the memories.
CHAPTER ONE - nothing good starts in a getaway car.
CHAPTER TWO - you'll always know me.
CHAPTER THREE - so inviting, i almost jump in.
INTERLUDE - are we still friends?
CHAPTER FOUR - come home to my heart.
CHAPTER FIVE - ?
CHAPTER SIX - ?
EPILOGUE - ?
PLAYLIST:
some songs that helped me along while writing and the lyrics of some of them are actually where i got the title chapters from! i didn't put the songs in order, but you can try and tell what direction the story is going to go based on them (insert evil laugh)!
1. it's nice to have a friend by taylor swift
2. mess it up by gracie abrams
3. new year's day by taylor swift
4. dorothea by taylor swift
5. you & me by the wannadies
6. 1, 2 by mxmtoon
7. bite the hand by boygenius
8. still into you by paramore
9. feels like by gracie abrams
10. angels like you by miley cyrus
11. cardigan by taylor swift
12. daylight by taylor swift
13. are we still friends? by tyler, the creator
14. first time by lucy dacus
15. gold rush by taylor swift
16. true blue by boygenius
17. promise by laufey
18. two people by gracie abrams
19. bags by clairo
20. miss me by zeph
21. just because by sadie jean
22. two weeks ago by maisie peters
23. back to december by taylor swift
24. supercut by lorde
25. fool by frankie cosmos
will be posting chapter five (finally) in a few hours! really big apologies for the wait and hope i don't disappoint :) it's a bit longer than usual, so i hope that makes up for it!
tagging the taglist as well to notify you all :)
TAGLIST: @moonflowersandsparkles @faith-alons26 @rexorangecouny @aiyaiy @thegirlthatwantedtowrite @giggling-sewer-ginger @katdahlali @higherthanheroes @guccilongboard @alipap3 @rockchickrebel @ellietartt @shineforever19 @skewedcherries @jamietarttdodo @meg-ro @deepdarkvelvet @taytaylala12 @loveforaugust @crownofdecitreadingrespectfully @dickgraysonspersonalwhore @jess4rush @scaramou @rae4725 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo (couldn't tag you for some reason?)
i've already mapped out this story, so until further notice, this is the length of the whole fic! as i post the chapters, i'll gradually update the titles here :)
PROLOGUE - hold on to the memories.
CHAPTER ONE - nothing good starts in a getaway car.
CHAPTER TWO - you'll always know me.
CHAPTER THREE - so inviting, i almost jump in.
INTERLUDE - are we still friends?
CHAPTER FOUR - come home to my heart.
CHAPTER FIVE - ?
CHAPTER SIX - ?
EPILOGUE - ?
PLAYLIST:
some songs that helped me along while writing and the lyrics of some of them are actually where i got the title chapters from! i didn't put the songs in order, but you can try and tell what direction the story is going to go based on them (insert evil laugh)!
1. it's nice to have a friend by taylor swift
2. mess it up by gracie abrams
3. new year's day by taylor swift
4. dorothea by taylor swift
5. you & me by the wannadies
6. 1, 2 by mxmtoon
7. bite the hand by boygenius
8. still into you by paramore
9. feels like by gracie abrams
10. angels like you by miley cyrus
11. cardigan by taylor swift
12. daylight by taylor swift
13. are we still friends? by tyler, the creator
14. first time by lucy dacus
15. gold rush by taylor swift
16. true blue by boygenius
17. promise by laufey
18. two people by gracie abrams
19. bags by clairo
20. miss me by zeph
21. just because by sadie jean
22. two weeks ago by maisie peters
23. back to december by taylor swift
24. supercut by lorde
25. fool by frankie cosmos
i've already mapped out this story, so until further notice, this is the length of the whole fic! as i post the chapters, i'll gradually update the titles here :)
PROLOGUE - hold on to the memories.
CHAPTER ONE - nothing good starts in a getaway car.
CHAPTER TWO - you'll always know me.
CHAPTER THREE - so inviting, i almost jump in.
INTERLUDE - are we still friends?
CHAPTER FOUR - come home to my heart.
CHAPTER FIVE - ?
CHAPTER SIX - ?
EPILOGUE - ?
PLAYLIST:
some songs that helped me along while writing and the lyrics of some of them are actually where i got the title chapters from! i didn't put the songs in order, but you can try and tell what direction the story is going to go based on them (insert evil laugh)!
1. it's nice to have a friend by taylor swift
2. mess it up by gracie abrams
3. new year's day by taylor swift
4. dorothea by taylor swift
5. you & me by the wannadies
6. 1, 2 by mxmtoon
7. bite the hand by boygenius
8. still into you by paramore
9. feels like by gracie abrams
10. angels like you by miley cyrus
11. cardigan by taylor swift
12. daylight by taylor swift
13. are we still friends? by tyler, the creator
14. first time by lucy dacus
15. gold rush by taylor swift
16. true blue by boygenius
17. promise by laufey
18. two people by gracie abrams
19. bags by clairo
20. miss me by zeph
21. just because by sadie jean
22. two weeks ago by maisie peters
23. back to december by taylor swift
24. supercut by lorde
25. fool by frankie cosmos
'it's nice to have a friend' fic masterlist + playlist | previous chapter
PAIRING: jamie tartt x fem!reader
WORD COUNT: 3.1k
SUMMARY: jamie tries to get reader to forgive him.
WARNINGS: language
A/N: hello! sorry for such a long wait, i've been on vacation. i also haven't been able to proofread huhu but hopefully the interlude prepped ya'll for this moment because a good chunk of this one is from jamie's pov! don't have much to say because i don't want to spoil much hehe but enjoy jamie's comeback!
Losing Jamie for a second time felt the exact same: like absolute shit. Except this time, you were an adult and couldn't sulk in your room all day. So for the next few weeks, — aside from said crying sessions — you've been dragging yourself to all of your lectures and powering through office hours as if nothing happened.
You already told Liv about it the morning after, and after seeing your bloated face and the fact that you had a massive hangover, she decided to withhold her 'I told you so' speech, much to your relief.
It was unraveling the exact same way as last time and the cherry on top was the fact that Jamie wasn't reaching out in any way, shape, or fucking form. No texts, calls, or anything.
Every now and then, you'd think about reaching out yourself. It was you who yelled at him that night and told him to leave, but you would shake your head every time. No, if Jamie really wanted to preserve your relationship, he would have to be the one to reach out. You got to say your piece and that's it.
And maybe you were being a little petty, taking down all your photos with him from the shelf and stuffing them in a box with all the tokens from Jamie that you couldn’t bring yourself to throw away, but at least it stopped you from nearly breaking down every time you passed your hallway.
Jamie wasn't taking it so well either, despite what you assumed.
After that night, he had this sinking feeling in him. He knew he fucked up, — ghosting you and treating you like a complete stranger at the pub in front of his teammates, — but it hurt even more hearing you shout and tell him how badly it fucked you up.
To this day, he doesn't know why he did it, really. Maybe it was the fact that he felt guilty for never talking to you after you left. Or maybe you were right; he cared too much about what his teammates thought that he ended up hurting you in the process. But no matter the reason, he ruined one of his most important relationships that night.
So what was he going to do? What he always did. Ignore it. Focus on the season, despite the fact that Richmond has been on a losing streak since the West Ham game. While Jamie might be off his game because of you, he wasn't going to acknowledge that. Just bury it and hope it disappears.
It wasn't until after the fifth match in the losing streak that he got a message from an unknown number he was forced to confront it.
Hi Jamie. I'm Liv. I'm not sure if (Y/N)'s mentioned me, but I'm one of her friends and I got your number from her phone. I was hoping to talk to you soon when you're free.
So now, he was sitting in a white office like he was waiting for some test results. It didn't help that the person sitting in front of him was in a lab coat, either.
"Sorry, I know it's weird we had to do this in an office." Liv started and Jamie straightened up in the chair. "I thought you'd want somewhere private to talk."
"Right."
"Yeah, so you're probably wondering why I wanted to talk to you. Uhm, (Y/N)'s been a little off recently. She told me about what happened, which I honestly saw from a mile away, but that's not the point." Liv sighs before continuing. "The last time this happened, back in uni, she practically quarantined herself in her room till her parents came and picked her up. She barely ate, and barely talked to anyone. It was terrible. And I can tell that she's on the way to that again."
Jamie's eyes widened, filled with guilt once again, but he said nothing.
Something about his reaction just triggered something in Liv. "Right, so I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but what the fuck are you doing, man?" The footballer moved back in his chair, but Liv wasn't dismayed. "Why haven't you called her? Or even texted or something."
"I," Jamie's completely at a loss for words. "I thought that she didn't want to talk."
"What gave you that idea?"
"She told me to leave that night so harshly, so I thought..." Jamie trails off, realizing how terrible that reasoning is after saying it out loud.
Liv is thinking the exact same thing, causing her to roll her eyes. "Come on, Jamie! You can't actually think she wants nothing to do with you now. She won't ever say it, but do you know how many times I've caught her checking your contact to see if you've sent anything? She misses you and seeing how shit you've been playing these past few matches, I think it's safe to assume that you miss her too."
Despite this woman being a complete stranger to Jamie, he's suddenly compelled to admit, "Just because she misses me doesn't mean that she wants me back in her life. And I don't think I should be, to be honest." She's better off without me.
Liv's expression finally softens and she looks down at her desk before saying, "She at least deserves an apology."
—
It had been a few days since then, which Jamie had been using to think it over. He knew Liv was right; he needed to apologize. He just didn't know how. And of course, he had to talk to the most emotional man he knew.
"Jamie! What brings you here?" Ted who, despite the team losing yet another game, greeted quite cheerfully. It almost made the football player turn right back around because he wasn't sure if he was in the mood for his coach's relentless optimism.
But he knew there wasn't anyone else he could go to, seeing as you were obviously unavailable, Keeley was way swamped with her new company, and telling his mum would be indirectly telling your parents too. He shuts the door behind him and moves to Ted's side of the office. "Right, um, I was hoping to talk to you about something."
His coach seems to pick up on Jamie's uneasy demeanor and leans forward with a sympathetic look on his face. "What's up, buttercup? Should I gather the diamond dogs for this?"
Jamie, recalling the name that the coaches and Higgins called themselves, was quick to reject the idea. "No, no, I'd rather not have them find out about this. Uhm, look, I know I haven't been doing my best recently,—"
"Oh, we'll get a win soon bud, don't worry." Ted is quick to reassure the player and while Jamie appreciates it, he shakes his head.
"No, I know, but that's not it." Jamie takes a deep breath before continuing. "It's just, I've been a bit distracted recently."
"Is this about a girl perhaps?"
"No," though Jamie thinks about it for a second. “Yes, but no?" Seeing the slight look of confusion on his coach's face, he explains, "A while back, I reconnected with an old friend. She was my best friend actually, back in Manchester. We didn't exactly end on the best of terms and it was my fault. But when we met again, she told me that I didn't need to apologize."
Jamie continued to recount the past few months to his coach, from his blind date to the Bones & Honey incident, along with what he did to you in the pub all those years ago.
"So now, I don't know what to do. Her best friend said I should apologize, but I don't really know how. I'm not really the best with these types of things." Both of them still remembered how long it took for Jamie to get the team to forgive him when he first came back.
Ted takes a second before responding, trying to figure out the best thing to say in this situation. "You know Jamie, I've always thought the simplest ways are sometimes the best ones. Overthinking things tends to complicate them more. You want to apologize right? How'd you used to do it when you were kids and you threw your little tantrums at each other?"
"Coach, I don't think bringing her chocolate is gonna work this time around." Jamie gets flashbacks to your first-ever argument as kids. Jamie accidentally ate the last slice of chocolate cake that you had unofficially saved and you stormed out and locked yourself in your room for an hour.
All it took was Jamie sliding a bar of chocolate through the bottom of the door, explaining that he got hungry, and promising to save her a slice of cake the next time they had a party. You ended up sharing the bar with Jamie.
"Probably not. But in all the times you fought, what were the things that got her to forgive you? What did you say that made her understand your side and know that you actually were sorry for what you did? And how did you prove to her that you weren't going to do that to her again?" Maybe if Jamie thought about this advice later tonight, it'll make more sense, but right now, only one question was occupying his mind.
"D'you think she'll forgive me?" He thinks out loud.
"I honestly don't know Jamie, I don't even know who she is. But if you show her how much you care like how you're showing me right now, I'm sure things will be fine." Ted, now standing, offers a comforting pat on the back.
Without looking up, Jamie whispers, "I never meant to do this to her. To hurt her like that."
"We rarely ever mean to hurt the people we love." Ted offers.
Love. Yeah, Jamie thought, he did love you, even after all these years. Especially after all these years. What, with all the 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' bullshit.
"All we can do after is try to atone for our mistakes and hope they forgive us. And even if they don't, at least you leave knowing you tried." Jamie nods his head and thanks his coach for the advice.
As he got into his car to leave the clubhouse, he pulled out his phone. Hi, are you free tonight? I was hoping we could talk.
He anxiously waited for your reply and started listing all the places he had to pass by before heading to your place if you even answered. But before Jamie even left the car park, you already replied, Sure.
—
Maybe you had been hoping for Jamie's message more than you thought. You were in the middle of the lecture when you got his message, so while your class passed the handouts around, you took the chance to grab your phone and reply.
So now, you were anxiously waiting in your flat, still unsure of how you were meant to feel about all this. You knew there was still anger there, but you weren't sure if exploding on him relieved that feeling or made it worse. A part of you also felt guilty for it too, for not even giving him a chance to apologize in the first place. Maybe instead of awkwardly letting him inside later, you would've been having yet another movie night together.
That's what he was going to do now right? Apologize? You didn't really press on for my details when he messaged you earlier. You just hoped that seeing him again will trigger the right response to whatever he had planned.
You heard the doorbell ring and suddenly, it felt like your heartbeat quickened. You take careful steps towards the door and after mentally preparing yourself for whatever this was going to be, turn the doorknob.
"Hi," Jamie greeted, in the most awkward way possible for a guy as confident as he could. You notice him holding a box of LEGO flowers under his left arm and a pack of chocolate nuggets in his right hand.
In an attempt to lighten the mood, you jokingly ask, "Is your apology just going to be flowers and chocolate?" though it may have come across as harsher than you intended.
"No, but uh, in case you changed your mind about talking to me when you saw me, I thought this would at least get me through the door," Jamie explained and you slowly nodded your head.
"Well, you were right." You take the things from his hand and let him inside.
You had already cleaned up the place before he came over and hidden all the messy catalogs and test papers in your room for the time being. Its current condition could honestly pass as one of those display sets in department stores.
You placed the items on your dining table before turning back to Jamie who was awkwardly standing in the middle of the living room.
You didn't want to delay this any further. "So, why'd you want to talk?"
"Right," Jamie started, still unable to look you in the eye. "I wanted to say sorry for not messaging you these past few weeks. I've just been busy and Richmond's been on a losing streak too,—"
"Is that really all you wanted to say?" Your tone was soft, but even you knew you were being blunt. You just couldn't handle the sinking feeling of anxiety in your chest anymore and while you might be rushing him, you just wanted to get this over with.
"No, it's not." Jamie closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He moves towards you and starts looking at you intently. "I'm sorry. For everything. You deserved an apology and an explanation a long time ago and I can't go back in time, so I want to do it now."
He pauses for a moment, and when you realize he's waiting for you to say something, you respond, "Go ahead, Jamie."
He nods his head and almost looks like he's psyching himself up before a match. He takes another deep breath before continuing.
"I wanted to start from when I started to get distant. I never told you, but after I started at Man City, dad came back into the picture."
"He did?" Your voice was barely a whisper, and you're unsure if he even heard it because he keeps talking.
"You know how he is, right?" Of course, you did.
Growing up, you knew the exact times his dad would be coming over. There’d be some beat up car in their driveway and if you looked out your window, Jamie’s window blinds would be down. During the early years, you’d ask your mom to call their house, but after the first time and about a ten-minute call with Georgie, she started telling you they were busy. It was only after that outlying car in their driveway disappeared that Jamie would come knocking at your door, asking to play. He'd have this air of discomfort the first few days, but you were so happy being able to see him again that you’d end up ignoring it.
"Anyway, he was on my arse that whole time. He always had something to say after every match about how I fucked up or, how shit I'd been. Even if I was just sitting on the bench, he still had something to say. It was exhausting," You could tell that Jamie was starting to get angry at the reminder of his father, and without thinking, you reach out to hold his hand. Jamie seems to relax at your touch and when he seems to have composed himself, you let go.
"He would go on about the same things. Don't be soft, it's the fucking Premier League and shit like that. I just, I wanted it to stop. And I thought that toughening up would stop him from him getting under my skin. That meant removing everything that did make me soft, vulnerable. One of those things was you, but I realized now that it was in a good way. As in, I only ever felt comfortable and safe when I was with you." Your eyes widened at his confession and you felt tears threatening to fall.
"But fuck, Dad was really in my head back then. I thought that you were making me weak. And I hated the thought of him calling me that. So I stopped picking up your calls and messages. I just blocked you out.
"But when I started to realize I was becoming a prick, I thought you'd never want to talk to me again. That you'd hate me and it wasn't worth trying to get you to forgive me. Plus, Mum always had great stories about you, so I thought you were better off without me. I guess that's why I was such a prick back in the pub, pretending I didn’t know you. Might as well lean into it if I already lost you." At this point, you were resisting the urge to envelop Jamie in a hug and never let go, but you knew he wanted to finish his piece.
"And I know that it doesn't change the fact that it was a shitty way to treat someone I loved, but it's the best explanation I can give you. I really am sorry." Jamie held your eyes, emphasizing how genuine he was being. Someone I loved, did he really just say that? But he starts again before you can even consider what that meant.
"And, I really am trying to be better. I want to be worthy of staying in your life, if you'll let me. This time, I promise I'll never leave you like that ever again."
You were processing his words and couldn't answer immediately, so Jamie added, "And if you decide that you don't want anything to do with me, then you'll never have to see me again. But I promise to keep trying to be better even then."
You continued to stay silent and Jamie took that as your answer. "Right, so that's all I had to say, so I'll be out of—"
You wrap your arms around him, stopping him mid-sentence. The footballer is slow to reciprocate it, but when he does, you're transported back in time. It feels like you're eight again, and Jamie's football team just won the finals. It feels like you're fifteen again, and you've made up during a midnight run to the grocery after a stupid argument. It feels like you're seventeen again, saying goodbye to the only boy you've ever loved.
"I don't know if I'm ready to forgive you yet, Jamie. To go back to how it was before." You finally answer, and if you're being honest, you don't think you ever could go back. "But I want to be able to," you whisper and you feel him relax even more in your arms. "Just, don't fuck it up and leave again. Because I'd really love to have you in my life again."
"I promise I won't." And this time, you believe him.
A/N: and there you go! the angst is over! (or is it? muahaha) some cameos from liv and ted to help snap jamie out of it :) i had written jamie's apology monologue the same time i wrote reader's angry monologue from chapter three with some slight revisions when i put them in their respective chapters, so hopefully it matches up well stay tuned for the next chapter!!
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that last chapter if inthaf 😫 asking if she wanted an autograph??? you rlly know how to make it hurt.
AHH im so sorry 😭 honestly i wanted to make jamie as douchy as possible in the interlude so it wouldn't look like reader was overreacting. so all the ppl saying they'd be pissed off too, i 100% relate AHAHAHA
