Ask Papa Weasley

Send me any strange muggle artifact you come across, and I will tell you what I know of it.

[papaweasley]

You smarmy git this is a bloomin shambles 3 quid for a pack of rizzlas are you 'avin a laugh mate? Do I look like a mug to you? You're a bloody numpty if you think I'll be letting a tea-leaf like you have my 3 quid. I'll be half-inching them first and bloody leg it, don't mind being banged up me mate.

My goodness, is this how the kids are talking these days? I haven't the faintest idea what 'rizzlas' are but I do believe you are being a bit more aggressive about this than you need to be. Though I was recently informed by Mr. Potter that the term 'grem' actually has nothing to do with gremlins, nor does the state of being 'Jammy' have anything to do with jam.

[papaweasley]

A SOLID CHUNK OF PRITT

"You wish to donate one? Oh-oh dear. No I'm sorry, that is not a pritt."

"That is a prat."

[papaweasley]

Update

It seems I was wrong about the pritt stick. It is not, in fact, the convoluted means of extracting the adhesive substance within we thought it to be. The pritt stick is actually made of a solid chunk of pritt, a white block that, when rubbed against a surface, leaves the sticky film behind! Ingenious!

We are currently trying to collect more pritt samples for study, so if you come across any, send us an owl!

[papaweasley]

Where is Trucy's hogwarts letter?

"......I'm afraid this is outside my area of jurisdiction. You will need to take that up with Headmistress Mcgonagle."

[papaweasley]

Do the muggles are ride on penny farthings?

"Penny farthings are a curious sort of thing, aren’t they? We were puzzled at first ourselves, but after a bit of investigation, we’ve come to the conclusion that they are merely the predecessor of the ‘bicycle’. You see, muggles, quite unfortunately, suffer from a great deal more visual impairments than we do…simply for lack of a way to fix them. The penny farthing is, most probably, the product of something with a severe visual issue that made him unable to gauge the size of the wheels. It’s quite a miracle it works at all! To this day, it is only muggles that share this visual defect that are willing to ride these monstrosities. "

[papaweasley]

What is the science behind pritt stick?

"Now this is a very good question! A ‘pritt stick’ is something that muggles use much the same way we do an adhesive charm. It seems like it requires contact to the surface one is trying to make more adhesive, and afterwards a thin film  of sticky goop is left. But there is no means to squeeze it out, so it’s anyone’s guess how the liquid is taken from the stick to the surface. All in all, it seems a rather overly complicated method, if you ask me."

[papaweasley]

Why do all British people have private jets?

"Surprisingly, they do not! Private jets are actually incredibly rare, reserved for only the upper class as well as Crimson and Clay for some reason. Despite the great price it apparently has, these 'jets' are far less efficient than our private brooms, and more difficult to store, despite providing more or less the same function."

[papaweasley]

What's a smack barm?

"A smack barm is something you eat after drenching it in the juice of many peas. The reason for this is unclear, though we think it’s because certain muggles are not fond of their vegetables, and thus seek out other ways to gain the necessary nutrients. It’s actually quite a repulsive looking dish, but I am not a culinary expert."

[papaweasley]

How does the bong system work?

"You mean clocks? I was not aware  muggles had a different name for it than us, though I’m quite certain it works the same way as ours. One bong per hour and such."

[papaweasley]

What part of the robot is this for?

"Oh my! I must admit, I’ve never encountered this before, but you say it is a part of a ‘Row Bott’? It would seem a strange thing to row with, though at the same time, perhaps you are referring to a set. I must admit, I cannot fathom the use a row of these would have either. Do you know anything about the function of this ‘Row Bott’? That might hint at it…"

((Object is below the cut for reasons I can’t tell you without violating the  International Statute of Secrecy))

[papaweasley]

What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?

You want to know the function of…

A

rubber

duck?

Some things are best addressed to the Department of Mysteries

[papaweasley]

"Im a little confused what exactly is a leccy key?? "

"Ah, a leccy key is a small object that allows one to operate a leccy. The leading researchers at the Department of Muggle Studies have determined that the purpose of the leccy is to create light in the house, because whenever the home goes dark, the muggles seem to start cursing before going out and inserting the key into the leccy. The leccy then sends a special kind of energy into the home, also know as ‘lecons’, to illuminate the home. It is unclear how often this needs to be done, or why it needs to be done repeatedly at all, but we are working on it."