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@paper-cu-t-s
Secret Life IVMedium: oil,canvas
Why do I choose men that I should hate?
I think it’s because their self confidence is so low that they make me feel stronger and better about myself. They have nothing to love besides loathing so they cling to me like fucking food wrap. I can’t let him go, but I’m doing him a disservice by lying and saying that I love him.
I love you... what I mean is I love the attention... I love that I have you and you have me... I love feeling like I belong to you... I love how we are attached to each other till one of us yells uncle and cuts the cord...I guess it’s me.
The more I think about it, you don’t know me at all. We know slivers of each other, the versions of ourselves that we choose to show on the odd weekend. I want us to grow BIGGER and BETTER. This relationship will not get us there, it will and has only stifled us.
I can’t explain the pain that I feel in my heart when I think of not being with you or the hope I feel when I think of what can happen in my life when I don’t have to think about myself as attached to another person. What a fool I was to think I was beyond feeling anything but happy when I think of you. What a fucking fool I was for being so blind and not ending our relationship before I became so attached to you. I know you so well and thats what is making this so goddamn fucking hard.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BSIi0vZlayl/
Kurt Cobain in New York, September 1991.
Jil Sander Fall/Winter 1991