Wow I always do this at the last minute, but I suppose it’s that time of year again in which I reflect upon the passage of time and how much I’ve grown. And well, despite how much the self deprecating side of me that would brush my efforts this year aside and say otherwise, I think it’s safe to say that I’ve grown as an artist and a lil human bean. 2016 kicked me hard.
January itself was a crazy month. I think I started off with a cold, which extended its stay well into our unexpected visit to the Philippines. Returning to the place I was born and spent 6 years of my life in was an incredibly emotional experience for me—not only because of my paternal grandpa’s passing, but also because of the time I was able to spend with extended family I hadn’t seen in about 13 years, the changes I saw in the places I once knew, the different and admittedly foreign culture, and the slap in the face I experienced as I realized how incredibly, stupidly privileged I am to have the life I do and the little things I take for granted like the bed I get to comfortably sleep on every night. I still think about the Philippines and my lol a lot. I don’t think this experience will ever leave me.
AND THEN SPRING SEMESTER OF MY FIRST YEAR AT FULLERTON.
Whoa buddy. I don’t think any words could ever quite encapsulate my feelings for this period in my life. It was a stressful time, especially because there was some confusion about what my exact goals were, but I learned so much about myself and other people. I felt, for the first time in a very long time, so deeply understood by other people. I was really able to forge wonderful friendships and relationships and found myself opening up more than I ever thought I would be able to. I was able to start a lil sketch group with friends and bond with like-minded and passionate people about art and the struggles of finding our paths and following our dreams. I faked my bravery a lot, but I think I became pretty good at it because I actually gained the courage to create a zine of my work and share it with my friends and other fellow artists. I made friends by saying “yes” more to opportunities rather than fearing the outcomes and saying “no.” I was even fortunate enough and surprisingly elected as an officer for the best art club of all time! I’ll always be incredibly grateful for everything that happened.
And then summer.
I exhausted myself a little too much during the summer, but I learned so, so much. I took three art classes during this time--pushing myself in composition, painting, and figure drawing (as always). And frick, I still struggle a lot with background and painting and drawing in general but this, I feel, was the start to a really transformative period in my life. I was building up my foundations, but also applying more of what I learned to original conceptual art. Good stuff, dude.
And thennnnnnn, fall semester.
I died. A little. But I feel even though some parts of my confidence withered away, this semester in retrospect, was kind of a big deal for me. I was puuuuuuuuuuushed, so much by my professors and I’m so thankful for that. I ended up lacking a lot of sleep and unfortunately, there were more times than I would have liked in which I had to choose between hanging out with friends or finishing up a project, but I tried my best. I’m lucky to have a good support system. I had 3 internship interviews which still blows my mind, I met some of my favorite artists and was able to invite and host my first speaker event so that was also a really cool experience. I’m still baffled that even my heroes experience self-doubt, but for that realization I will always be thankful.
And blaaaaaaah, I don’t really know what else to say, but I am very fortunate to be surrounded by talented and genuinely kind people, to have parents who provide me with limitless support, to know a sister like I know my own mind, to have a very understanding BFF4LYF, a friend who doubles as a sister+son, and to live in a time in which Hamilton exists. Good times, dude. 2016 was an emotional rollercoaster. Here’s to more growth and progress in 2017!!!
It was really hard to condense everything that happened this year to 5:32, but I hope you enjoy!
