First let me start by defining what I mean by "deleting social media", I deleted the apps for Twitter and Tiktok off my phone. I deleted my personal Instagram account, but I've kept my small business Instagram and therefore have kept the Instagram app. I'm keeping Facebook while I finish selling some things on Facebook marketplace, and then I'll evaluate whether I'm comfortable with keeping it just for marketplace or whether I should try to find an app that's just for selling. I'm keeping messenger, whatsapp and snapchat (for now) as they're what I use to communicate with people. Although I am pulling away from Snapchat a bit, I suppose that is based on whether my main group chat of friends on there would be willing to migrate elsewhere, but I won't force that on them just for my sake. So now that's covered, onto the "Why?"
So I have been toying with the idea of deleting social media for the past couple months. Honestly I think I always wanted to be someone with no social media, but it just felt like I couldn't.
But I think especially with being in lockdown/quarantine etc, I've felt a very concentrated effects of social media as there was not much else going on and it felt like the only way to stay connected to people. But it's been wearing away at me which is why I took the step to delete my personal Instagram account last week.
Nowadays Instagram just feels like a bunch of scarily too accurate ads and posts from about 3 people I follow coming up on my feed at any given moment. Which makes me go over to the explore page where I'll waste my time on inane, recycled memes for a tiny drop of serotonin. Then on the flip side, with posting, I felt like I'd post a nice picture of myself when I'd feel a bit eh to get some form of validation from followers, only to be disappointed that my last post got more likes or this post isn't gaining as many likes as I thought it would. And then I'd start thinking that maybe that picture wasn't as nice as I thought it was, and then comes the hit to my self confidence, and then I'm trying to big myself up and say that the likes don't mean anything. Once I've done that, I'll get slapped in the face with a picture of a beautiful, confident girl and I see none of myself in her. Then back down into the pit of self esteem issues we go. It's a vicious cycle and not one I'm interested in staying in, why should I allow my self worth, self image and confidence to rely on a number of likes from a bunch of people I haven't spoken to in years?
Twitter and TikTok, I'll be honest I love both of these apps but I have reasons for getting rid of them. Twitter, brings me a lot of bad news, all the time. Every time I open the app it's screaming at me about 20 different injustices happening in the world and how dare I not know about it already and how dare I not be talking about it. And it's not that I don't think all these problems deserve a platform and deserve to be fixed, it's that I can't take the barrage of all of the horrors this world has to offer. I try my best to be a good person and do whatever activism I can, but I do not have the mental or emotional capacity to handle what Twitter gives me. All I can think to do is to step away and work on similar issues in the real world, within my emotional and physical capabilities.
TikTok, will be missed. I think TikTok is a fantastic app (ignoring all the privacy issues ofc), I've learnt so damn much on there and I know there's still so much to learn. But it is such a time sink, it's so addictive and I'll sometimes ignore messages from people I care about because I'm caught up and I have yank myself out. Like, press the exit button before my brain has the time to catch up and tell me to stop. And I don't like that, I do not like how easy it is for me to get hooked and want to stay there for hours.
There have been countless interviews and articles where the creators of these apps are openly admitting that yes, they did intend for people to get hooked onto their platforms. And no, they don't really care. My time feeling shit about myself and getting distracted from my work is lining the pockets of horrible men who are already insanely rich. Some of my reasoning is spite motivated, and I'm ok with that tbh.
There are a lot of things I want to start doing to improve my life, things to keep the soul alive you know? I want to go on more walks, journal, sleep well at night and wake up early, refreshed and excited about the day ahead. I want to live more slowly, in the moment. To appreciate what I have and have a clear focus on what I have to do to get to where I want to be. And I don't think I have room in my head and my life to do all of that with social media in the way.
Will I ever go back to social media? I'm not sure, at the moment I want to say no but we'll see how it goes I guess!
