[amortizing]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[para-la-ultima-vez]

My mind no longer wanders to find you. for a while, in a mind full of empty thoughts the only comfort was the thought of you. maybe this is the growth that everyone talks about? maybe i’m finally finding my peace. but yet, sometimes when i’m looking at the sky, i wonder if you’re looking too. and once again i find solace in the fact that we share the same moon and stars.

[para-la-ultima-vez]

“Not proud I called you for the fifth time, I just gotta quit trying for you baby.”

-Giveon

[girlrose]

supermodel - sza 

[para-la-ultima-vez]

i feel so fucking alone in this bitch ass world. i have no where to go and no one to go to. i want to leave. leave forever.

[appalachian-in-2103-deactivated]

[depresseddisneyprincess]

[0nly-an-illusi0n]

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

[my-unvoiced-thoughts]

A BIG HUG TO THE PEOPLE WHO ARE SILENTLY FIGHTING THEIR OWN BATTLES

[nothing-really-matters-anymore]

If you are chronically down, it is a lifelong fight to keep from sinking

Elizabeth Wurtzel

[para-la-ultima-vez]

anyways, i’m having suicidal thoughts again. they aren’t really thoughts tho, they’re more like fantasies. and i think that’s fucked.

[shes-not-mine]

source: milk and honey by rupi kaur

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐈 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠-

me

[para-la-ultima-vez]

I always thought i fell in love too quickly but recently i’m starting to think i don’t... in all honesty, relationships and just feelings all together have been really turning me off lately. i don’t know if it’s because of my previous relationship or i don’t know what but i don’t have any desire to fall in love at this time. i mean i get the common loneliness but that’s just a part of human nature.

The actual thought of getting to know someone’s inner secrets, tangling your bodies into each other late at night, or finding yourself watching them sleep, is something i do not desire at this time. maybe that’s why i always get ghosted? or who knows. I’m detached from love and just human interactions... and i’m not sure how to turn that back on but a large part of me maybe wants to. This detached area in my life is my safe place, but i want to be ready to exit it and be vulnerable again. i’m just so scared of being hurt... it’s really terrifying. maybe i’m psyching myself out of being vulnerable by making myself believe it isn’t something that i want? i’m not sure. i miss love and sometimes i don’t miss love.

[para-la-ultima-vez]

losing you meant finding myself. watching you move on meant forcing myself to be happy. i loved you more than i understood at the time and in a few ways i still do. but i cant continue to try and find people to fill the void you left in my heart. i cant continue to form unhealthy attachments. i miss you. i want to talk to you. but the you i miss, isn’t there anymore. and the me i was, has changed a million times by now. and that void you left in my heart, no longer resembles you.

[para-la-ultima-vez]

if i was skinny and cute i would def be a hoe but here i am a wholesome person due to my ugliness

[para-la-ultima-vez]

our time together is like stills in my head now. we’re no longer moving but i can still see the love we shared so clearly. I miss him, but not us anymore. I wish i were brave enough to reach out. I wish i could just call him and have a conversation as if we were old friends that just grew apart.