Me,

An unpopular blog dedicate to her life, a twenty-two year old girl who spends most of her time watching Korean dramas, variety shows and movies, who enjoys listening to Korean music with different genres, who is interested in everything related to South Korea and a girl who wanted to share her experiences to different people around the globe through her blog.

[my-unvoiced-thoughts]

Binuo ko sarili ko para wasakin mo ulet.

[my-unvoiced-thoughts]

02/22/2022: I MISS YOU. PLEASE COME BACK :c

[my-unvoiced-thoughts]

Another year, another new year’s resolution to resolve.

2020 was the year I promised I’d improved myself physically and mentally I did improve on both. Physically I was able to lose around 20 kilos in 2020 and I’m planning to continue on until this year. As to mentally, I was able to learn to love myself. It might be small for most people but for me it was a big thing.

In the year 2021, I still plan to boost myself physically and mentally until I’m able to resolve it completely. I also promise to resolve the following: 

I try to minimize or stop online shopping one thing I hate about my hobbies during the lockdown is I tend to do online shopping A LOT. By that I mean I spent $475 this year alone small purchases may look small but once you add them all up you’ll see how much money you are actually spending.

Aside from losing weight from healthy food this year I’ll promise to be more active and try to work out at least 1 hour a day to lose weight faster and to be physically fit. We need to be healthy especially with the new variant of COVID-19 although there’s a vaccine already it is something that we need to do to be able to live long. 

I also wanted to write more I’ve always like writing my thoughts or just randomly on a paper or my computer I even use my phone but this year I’ve been neglecting that because of my insecurities but I promise to write more this year without comparing it to other people and hopefully I’ll find the joy I once had when I didn’t really mind others. 

And lastly, this pandemic has taught me the importance of savings luckily while working for 2 years I was able to save up according to my friend who is a financial consultant you will be needing at least $3,121 to be able to survive something like this thus, I promise myself that I will be saving more this year! 

How about you guys? What are the things you will resolve this year? 

Cheers to 2021 I hope you all have a better year!

[my-unvoiced-thoughts]

A BIG HUG TO THE PEOPLE WHO ARE SILENTLY FIGHTING THEIR OWN BATTLES

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What are your 12 AM worries?

[my-unvoiced-thoughts]

081019 –

What’s the best thing that happened yesterday? I’m not sure if getting an assessment to a big company is the best thing that happened? I don’t know when I started planning it but I have been wanting to leave this company for a long time, at first it was all fun but then as I stay longer and longer that’s where I see all the bad things inside the company and I know I should have focused on my work but I couldn’t believe me I have a high tolerance of toxicity but this one is just too much for me. I’m still undecided if I should go to that assessment on Tuesday since there’s no assurance that I’ll get the job YET but I’m praying for his guidance and help. Good luck to me! J

[my-unvoiced-thoughts]

080919 –

Hi it’s me again I know I kind of stopped writing for a while because I found reasons why I should stop but then I found one reason to write again and so I decided to write again. I was supposed to post this yesterday and I have been scrabbling into words I wanted to say but I got lazy and fell asleep last night. I wanted to write short story about what happened everyday so I’ll have something to look at by the end of the year I know what y’all are going to say why now when we’re half way done the year already but it’s better to start late than never. Yesterday we have this group discussion about God and I think we’re going to do it every Thursday now but I actually enjoy it? Yesterday topic was “What keeps you up late at night?” this is basically where we share our worries and how God was there to help us get through and that if you give God your problem he will help you solve them which is what I’m been doing ever since maybe that’s also the reason why my worry became small because I know that I have a bigger God I hope you all learn something for this post I mean I’m not here to preach about God but this is the most memorable thing that happened yesterday.

[my-unvoiced-thoughts]

July 30, 2018

Dear Future self,

I’m writing this letter at 1 am tonight I know I should be sleeping but my 1 am thoughts, anxiety and depression is keeping me awake. I just wanted to tell you what happened after your thesis defense yes you were able to defend your thesis but sadly you got a grade lower than you’ve expected but you graduated from college with your dream course? You’re almost 2 months unemployed after graduating. You’re always home watching random videos on your phone, sleeping until before lunch and going to bed late in short you’re a complete bum. Your parents who supported you since you were born are still supporting you right now since you’re broke and jobless in other words you’re useless. Your block-mates are slowly getting job while you sit in your room and do nothing. I know exactly how you feel right now you feel like shit because ever since you matured all you wanted to do is to give back to your parents but you’re doing the exact opposite of what you wanted. You feel like shit because no matter how much you wanted to have a job you can’t find one because like what you always said “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not smart enough” and I’m not fit enough.” You feel like shit because you wish you study instead of watching korean dramas or variety show. You feel like shit because you wish you didn’t stress eating while studying and that you didn’t turn into a fucking pig. I wish everything turned out well there because in here? It’s sucks. Did you get a job already? Did you help your parents pay any bill? Did you treat your family to a nice dinner?

Love,

The present me.

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WHY CAN THE WORLD JUST SAY “YOU CAN’T LOVE SOMEONE, YOU’RE FAT” THAT WAY I’LL STOP MYSELF FROM FALLING AND STOP MYSELF FROM GETTING HURT.

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ALL I WANTED TO HEAR WAS “IT’S ALL GOING TO BE OKAY.”

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I’m worried...

When I was a kid my fear is just small, I'm scared of reptiles and insects; I'm afraid of getting wounds, cuts, and bruises. As I began to get older it was as if my fear started to grow as well, my fears of reptiles and insects were gone, I'm more afraid of what is in store for me on the next day or if I even have that. The fear of getting wounds, cuts and bruises were gone as well, in fact, I got more severe wounds, wounds that I get from those who bullied me in High School, the cuts that I got when I tried killing myself and the bruises of the memories of my past lovers. These are just some of the challenge that I encounter while growing up, now that I am 20,  and I finished my degree, passed all of my subjects,  and I even graduated, but I am broke, jobless and worried. Who said that life is easy once you finished your studies? Well, guess what? I am sitting in front of my computer right now, and instead of looking for a job I am typing this hoping to get more reblogs and followers.

[my-unvoiced-thoughts]

List of Korean Dramas I watched

Rooftop prince

School 2013

Boys over flowers

Sassy go go

Full House

To the beautiful you

Heartstrings

Angry mom

Bride of the Century

Cheese in the trap

Descendant of the sun

Doctors

Coffee prince

Endless love

Goblin

High school love on

Hyde, Jekyll and I

Lovers in paris

Marriage without dating

The legend of the blue sea

Moonlight drawn by the clouds

My unfortunate boyfriend

Oh my ghost

Oh my venus

Orange marmalade

Pinocchio

Reply 1988

School 2015

She was pretty

Strong woman do bong soon

The heirs

The K2

Tomorrow with you

Uncontrollably fond

W

Weightlifting fairy Kim Bok Joo

You who came from the stars

Cinderella and four knights

Manhole

School 2017

Because this is my first life

While you were sleeping 

Black

I am not a robot

Go back couple

Laughter in waikiki

Thirty not 17

School 2020

My ID is Gangnam Beauty

Romance is a bonus book

The smile has left your eye

Touch your heart

Hotel de luna

Crash landing on you

Missing 9

Prison Playbook

Chicago typewriter

Tempted

Startup

Dodosolsolalasol

18 again

[my-unvoiced-thoughts]

Dear Kang Gary,

I'm not there when running man aired there first episode but I watched all the episode from one to the most recent one. I didn't talk about it on my blog but this recent news just broke my heart and I can't help but to talk about it. Through the first episodes of running man Kang Gary was very awkward but I can't lie Gary is a funny guy. I fell for him because he made me laugh but as I watch more episodes I found out more of his traits and he is more than just a funny guy. While I was watching Running Man I saw my dream guy in Gary how awkward he is when it comes to talking to his love one I find adorable that there are still guys out there that is shy to approach the girl they love. There are some episodes where Gary shown us his gentleman side which makes me fall for him even more. He makes me want to watch more episodes of running man and that is why I decided to watch from the very first episode until the last because I fell in love not only with him but with every cast of running man. He's the first guy I actually fell in love with while watching variety show and he will always be. I'm still disappointed about his decision because I want to see them together until the very end 0712 right? But I'll always be rooting for every cast of running man because they made me feel at eased every time I watch the show. Thank you Kang Gary for making all of us laugh, for surprising us with your strength Mr. Random Capable, for being the loveliest couple every Monday hence the name "Monday Couple", for being the most handsome squid I ever seen on the television, for being the source of my happiness every time I watch the show, for saying "stress" in the most funny way, for letting us know about your talent in counting money, for being the best photo bomber I know, for having the most peaceful face, for doing a good job enduring the pain and eating spicy food, thank you for trying your hardest to run and make us laugh every episode of running man you make us all proud! I wasn't there when you started running but I was there when you decided to stop and decided to continue running on a different path. I just want you to know that no matter which path you decided to run on I'll be there to support and love you! May you continue to write wonderful and meaningful songs, may you continue to inspire people with your unique style of music, may you never give up on your dreams and may you find the right girl that deserves all the love you can give and will love and support you no matter what, I will continue to support you Kang Gary! Saranghae! From, One of your fan

[my-unvoiced-thoughts]

Late night thoughts

You’re still included on my late night thoughts. You’re still included in my future plans. You’re still my favorite person to miss. You’re still the only person I want to be with. You’re still the reason why I cry. Yet you’re still the reason why I smile.

It’ll be two years since we said our goodbyes and yet I can’t still accept the fact that you’re gone and that you’re not coming back to me anymore. How can I? When you’re the only person who made me feel that way, when you’re the only person who made my heart beat that fast, when you’re the only person who made me smile when I didn’t even know how to anymore.

PS: I still like you, no scratch that I still love you even after two years.

[my-unvoiced-thoughts]

July 3rd 2016

We decided to eat near our place and it’s not even a restaurant because it’s crowded since people are eating their dinners too. Me and my sister decided to eat paotsin and were standing in line saying our order when a girl approaches the food stall and shouted at the guy saying “You know what your coconut juice is so sweet, the one drinking this have diabetes already!” She left the cup on the table in front of the stall then left I even saw her husband walking towards her. The guy continue to serve us as if nothing happen but then the guy smiled at me it was bitter and he’s asking for sympathy and I smile back in return that smile was forced because I’m dying inside so I left the stall and walk to my mom and there I started crying.

How can someone be so mean? Did she never experience what’s like to be in bottom? She could’ve said it properly and considering the fact that the guy has a customer and she humiliated him in front of us how can she say that and walk away? It’s not even the guy’s fault. “If we looked at it on a business perspective they could’ve put a little sugar to it considering the fact that sugar is quite expensive” my dad said that. Is she even sure that the guy made that drink? I know that customer is always right but can we at least say it in the most polite way as we can? We should respect everyone not only our parents, elders, or someone older than us we should respect everyone too that’s what my parents taught me.

[my-unvoiced-thoughts]

What am I?

I sometimes feel like putting on a makeup, dressing up fancy for dinner, painting my nails multiple colors and curling my hair but there are also times where I feel attracted to a gorgeous girl wearing a cute outfit, falling in love with a girl whom I've been crushing, looking at a girls long and beautiful legs, and adoring girls. At first, I felt weird how can I love makeup and love a girl at the same time? How can I paint my nails and take care of a girl at the same time? How can I curl my hair and play with the hair of other girls? Am I really attracted to girls? Or I'm just to insecure of myself? I tried hiding it to my friends because I'm afraid that they'll stay away from me but I told them about it afterwards and accepted me I feel like a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulder at least I won't have to act in front of my friend anymore I'm happy with myself, I'm happy whatever I am, who ever I am.