Parallel Introspection

Looking at one's self alongside something else

[parallelintrospection]

Challenge Week Day 2

Hiyang-hiya ako.

Hindi ako marunong mag-joke. =(

Sa pamilya namin, alam ng lahat na ako ang pinaka seryoso. Kadalasan kahit nakatatawa ang joke hindi ako tumatawa kasi feel ko hindi appropriate ang timing, o wala namang sense. Kaya sa araw na ito kung saan pinapagawa kami ng maraming jokes, huhu I cry. :(( Mas mahirap pa talaga kasi ang bisdak ko (Bisaya talaga magsalita), at hindi pa ako ganun ka expresssive sa wikang Tagalog.

Kaya nga so far, hindi ko talaga na-eenjoy ang Challenge Week kasi nagagalit ako sa sarili ko. Hindi ako marunong mag-joke o magpatawa at iniisip kong isa itong flaw. Natatakot nga ako, kasi alam kong sobrang mababa ang scores ko at isang malaking dahilan nito ay hindi ako marunong mag-joke. :(

[parallelintrospection]

Challenge Week Day 1

I was so nervous, anxious and scared for this day. I did not know what to expect except for the fact that I had to be [nervous, anxious and scared].

The challenges went on and I had to think faster than the highest possible capacity of my neurons to transmit signals to my brain. I felt there was a traffic jam somewhere in my nerves and ugh it was frustrating that I couldn't think of anything. =(

I actually thought maybe I would defer by the end of the week because of the emotional pressure. As much as I tried, I just couldn't quite keep up.

CHALLENGE WEEK? HUHU <///3

[parallelintrospection]

Challenge Week Day 4

The final day of the Challenge Week was my favorite.  I genuinely had fun since the start (read: production number xD) and I enjoyed the challenges, most especially the Riff Off. I don’t know why but it kind of took me a lot of time to be at ease with the pressure of the challenges. It felt really good to be much more comfortable. Haha.

Since it was the last day, my co-apps and I agreed to give our all. We were nervous at first that maybe the last day was the most challenging yet and we weren't ready to face emotional pressure. But we chucked those away and decided to put a brave face on, give our best, and just enjoy. It worked really well for us. :)

What struck me the most on the final day, however, was the feedback and advice from the members and alumni. All those hardships we've been tasked to do had significant value-- lessons we had to learn and live by if we were to make it through the app process and become an Alphan. I know how the members are tight-knit, easygoing and fun people but I saw them in a different light at the end of the day. They were strong people who showed courage by their smiles and camaraderie and that they wanted us to do the same. A message I greatly learned thus far was that no matter what challenge was thrown at you, you can overcome it if you decide to be wise and graceful and you just enjoy it. 

It was at that point that I realized I’ve never been so sure to become a PAFT-Alphan.

[parallelintrospection]

Apps’ Week Day 4

We ran out of ideas. HUHU. I felt really bad that the members were disappointed in us. :( however, despite our shortcomings, I was glad that the mems still encouraged us to do better and never stop trying. I thought we were a complete failure, but they managed to cheer us up and lift our spirits. Gotta prepare for Challenge Week tho. Huhu. But anw, hooray for food! :D

[parallelintrospection]

Apps’ Week Day 3

This was the most emotional day. I already knew what my co-apps were planning to share, but it felt so different when I listened to them talk about their struggles in life. I also appreciated how the members really listened to us and gave us advice that I hope to take heed and heart.

[parallelintrospection]

Apps’ Week Day 2

On the second day, we improved our performance. We were able to give fun games which gave the members an opportunity to interrogate us and get to know us better. It felt great that they appreciated what we prepared for them. Aja PAFT Stars!

[parallelintrospection]

Apps’ Week Day 1

I was really curious as to what was expected to happen during App’s Week. The first day didn’t do well on our part. Our first day wasn’t much of a success. We didn’t equally distribute our ‘exposure’ and the members didn’t learn anything of importance about us. I learned that we had to impart much of ourselves for the mems to get to know us. :)