𝐀𝐁𝐘𝐒𝐒.

[paramcur]

 * paramcur,  an  indie  singlemuse  oc  blog  with  multiple  verses.  a  study  in  intergenerational  trauma,  being  affably  evil,  living  in  a  gilded  cage,  maintaining  what’s  left  of  your  soul  in  a  damned  world. adored  by  ash.  21+  mature  content  advisory.  glossary.

[paramcur]

putting teddy on a hiatus for now. my muse is very sparse and nearly non-existent these days, but when i do have it you can find me over at:

@evilaffable (bg3 astarion blog) & @hecticromantic (mumu)

[faerus]

teddy is tender, gentle in voice and touch, even in the sweep of his eyes. and evan's already pliant, limbs melting into the mattress -- but the continuous rub and affectionate pressure loosens every muscle like he's thumbing at a switch. it's a work of magic -- love made physical. underneath a deepening flush, evan nods, interrupts the gesture with his words. "yeah -- i'm good. any ache is a nice -- welcome kind of ache," he clarifies, swallowing when teddy touches him again, runs his digits and kneads them with intention. he must be sore himself -- sweaty and drained in the arms, in the hips. but evan listens, disarmed and somewhat starry-eyed, when teddy waxes vivid imagery, the croon of his voice cresting with enthusiasm. it's all beautiful -- perfect and with romantic emphasis on their individuality. except -- what comes to the forefront, more than d.i.y birdbaths and surround sound systems for 90's romcoms and microwaveable cake mugs and bookshelves lined with worn novels and green cushions and fridge magnets from every passing state -- is the quiet, unspoken implication, that they will do all of it together. and the years and decades of questioning his loneliness, of wandering sidewalks and napping in pews and wondering how he could've been born knowing no one but himself -- comes to a silent but reverberating halt. it's ended for awhile now, but it feels distant only then. the bruise a fading yellow. the shadow a distant speck. teddy touches him, threads his delicate hand against the arch of his foot, looks at him inquisitively -- almost ignorant to his own importance. evan swallows, throat drier still. his eyes well up with terrible timing -- though his heart squeezes with as much excitement as there is relief as there is yearning. he wants this more than anything. his right hand comes up to swipe at the corner of his eye, voice a little nasally when he speaks again. "no i don't mind -- i'd -- the city isn't where i need to be. wherever you go, is where i need to be. where i want to be." evan smiles in addition, only somewhat apologetic when it's toothy and gapped and comically innocent. his free hand extends to the air before catching the curve of teddy's cheek. he drags his thumb across, gaze dripping with something impossible to place. "...thank you."

[paramcur]

when evan says that any kind of ache is welcome, it earns him a soft smile in return -- easily reaching teddy's eyes. he was also sore and sweaty beyond belief, but he felt accomplished and relaxed more than anything. his fingers knead away any tension in evan's feet, imagining that it won't be long before he drifts off. but all drowsiness tapers away as soon as he lifts his head and meets evan's gaze, spotting a teary look in his eyes. his lips part in mild shock, brows furrowing. "baby? you weren't lying, right? it's a welcome ache?" his expression relaxes a moment later, softening considerably when evan says the only place he needs or wants to be, is with teddy. it makes his heart feel full, but also sends it racing. teddy hopes he hadn't been too presumptous, hadn't scared evan with talk of the far-off future. teddy has always been slow to realize things, non-linear in every conceivable way, but he's beginning to realize that evan really loves him. you'd think, given that this wasn't their first rodeo and they were boyfriends, he would have figured that out already. he had, but sometimes he just -- forgets, and then something will happen or be said that just knocks the wind out of him, in the best way. evan loves teddy for himself. not only when he's pretending to be a better, more put-together version of himself. when he's not just the life of the party, the businessman with great connections. evan probably loved teddy even in highschool, when his grandfather had passed away and he'd become weird and offputting in his grief. their peers hadn't known what happened, because it'd been private and teddy didn't want anyone to know. he hadn't talked to anyone but his best friend for those two weeks. evan king, at his side through sunshine and through rain. teddy glances over at him with a slightly confused expression, a sheepish smile on his lips. "you're welcome?" he's not sure what he's being thanked for. "i'm being serious, you know. we'd have so much free and quality time, you'll be sick of me. we'll be struggling trying to figure out how to fill the day, like in victorian times. i'll learn carpentry and build us a gazebo," teddy says, laughing as he leans down to press a kiss to the top of evan's foot. "so you can stay cool while you birdwatch."

[feelrush]

e-sims for gaza gif pack commissions

hello! i am doing gif packs for anyone who purchases an e-sim for gaza.

as of 1/28/24, holafly sims are most needed. instructions and tutorials can be found on https://gazaesims.com/. there are purchasing coupon codes listed on that website as well.

for the gif pack:

take a screenshot of the email you sent to  [email protected]. you may redact any personal information.

fill out this google form, where you will be asked for the screenshot as well as details about the gif pack. because this form is asking for a file, you will be required to be logged into a gmail account but the form will not record your email.

the form will ask for the faceclaim & media you want giffed as well as a way for me to contact you. i will not gif anyone that was under 20 at the time of filming.

if you feel uncomfortable with filling out the google form, you can contact me through IMs or an ask.

you will receive a minimum of 100 gifs, but will most likely get somewhere around 200-300 or more, depending on how much screen time the faceclaim you request has.

any questions? send me an IM or ask. gif examples under the cut.

[faerus]

evan sighs, exhaustion still present enough to pluck the heat in his voice. "i was asking out of curiosity -- and -- maybe a little bit of worry." he pointedly avoids responding to the italicized 'deal' in question, wary that a continued verbal rejection will lead them into yet another lengthy conversation. and he's hungry -- too hungry and sore to find it pressing. (evan has a stale croissant ziplocked in his backpack, and finds himself looking forward to it.) with his back straightened, he takes his time pulling and stretching each limb, folding elbows and knees, fingers, cloaked feet. getting up, evan's ears perk up in teddy's direction -- murmured comment just filing into focus. "hm?" he hums, thoughtful, even as he rummages through the pack for his breakfast. it's objectively cold, but he sighs, relieved when he takes a bleary-eyed but necessary bite. and because the faint irritation is exactly that; faint, evan holds the pastry out in teddy's direction, as if expecting him to take a similar nibble.

[paramcur]

an amused smile appears on the devil's face when evan admits to being concerned, though he also appears puzzled. they've had energetic arguments about this a few times already, with teddy feeling he's made less headway each time. but normally, evan at least has the energy to entertain him. "sweet jesus. not only is your kindness concerning, but it looks like you don't have the energy to even argue with me," he remarks, perplexed as the amusement quickly drains from his face and a wrinkle of concern appears between furrowed brows. teddy regards evan again, gaze raking over his form as he keeps his pastry-wielding hand outstretched. then, teddy heaves a sigh and scrubs his hand over his face as if exasperated. this man needed a guardian angel, and that was above teddy's pay grade. "i don't want to eat your pastry, i want to eat your soul," teddy reiterates, tone unkind but necessary. that croissant had to be several days old, at least, and oddly enough, perhaps this was the straw that broke the camel's back for teddy. "you want me to elaborate? i don't understand why you're holding on to that soul of yours when most of your peers have already traded it. for less material and more conceptual things, no less." people made deals for accolades and prestigious awards and wealth, yet here was evan king whiteknuckling life when his every day was a struggle. he steps forward, snatching the pastry out of evan's hand only to tear it into bite-sized pieces and attempt to feed him by hand. it was about power as much as it was teddy trying to genuinely be helpful, he supposes. "your life could be a dream instead of a nightmare. don't you think you're deserving of that, evan?" teddy croons, eyes like an ocean of pitch black darkness as he watches evan's mouth, waiting for him to eat. "you wouldn't have to deal with your debt until the end of your natural life."

[faerus]

evan's eyes are watery when he comes down, and he's blushing from the tips of his ears to the bend of his knees. he feels teddy throb inside him -- feels his hips stutter, his thrusts shiver into stillness, and fill him, mark him with wetness -- with heat. and evan thinks it seems insane to do it any other way at this point -- not when the evidence of their attraction lingers and drips and connects them with strings of white. teddy leaves traces of himself across each surface, and evan's cock jumps weakly at the thought. (oh to be possessed in this way, to be lovingly handled, to exchange loyalty in a place where it's already been earned. it's romantic, and he wants to say as much. except he's exhausted.) so instead he hums something non-committal, then collapses onto his back -- knees still bent and pointed to the ceiling. the wetness between his thighs, the inevitable stretch and ache of their intense row of thrusts, apparent with the passing minute. it's a strange sensation, to say the least. it pools a little, drips lewd and suggestive into the sheets, though evan can't bring himself to feel guilty about it. (if he had any adrenaline left, he'd be half tempted to reach between his legs and make familiar with the squelch and mess. maybe he'd describe the sensation -- entertain teddy with the verbal appreciation he seems to love so much.) still, he chuckles when teddy murmurs, cheeks lifted into a gap-toothed grin. after managing to turn somewhat on his side, his heady gaze falls to a blissful expression -- amusement quickly mirroring the fondness he catches here. "you're amazing," evan counters, "this -- was amazing. i think my brain stopped working entirely at one point."

[paramcur]

everything was about sex, except sex was about power and power was about trust. it was confusing, but teddy had learned this over time -- most poignantly after he'd slept with someone who treated it like an accomplishment, bragging about the conquest like a juvenile. teddy's learned his lessons the hard way, and now he's glad to have that level of trust with evan on both their parts. teddy's gaze focuses on evan's face and the gap-toothed smile he's always been fond of, cheeks flushing. evan always looked innocent when he smiled like that, like he did in their childhood. "don't smile at me so sweetly, i'll overthink all the obscene things i just did to you," he jokes, teeth digging into the flesh of his lips to hide a shy smile. "good. it's a hard job, getting your brain to stop being on overload -- but i guess somebody's gotta do it." teddy sits on the side of the bed, motioning for evan to stay put before he stands up and returns from the kitchen with a glass of water and wet washcloth. he hands off the glass of water to evan first, then crawls back into bed to sit in front of him. "still feeling okay, baby? nothing hurts? because i can grab you some medicine if you're uncomfortable," teddy offers, gently swiping the cloth over evan's body to wipe off the excess sweat and then lower, between his thighs. he'd been extremely worked up and enthusiastic, so even though teddy thinks they took plenty of time with foreplay, he wants verbal confirmation. once done with the cloth, he sets it aside and wraps a hand around evan's ankle, stroking it idly with his thumb. the expression on his face is wistful and relaxed. "you know, i've been thinking." he turns his head towards evan, brows raised as if daring him to make a joke. teddy waits a beat. "about us in the future. when we're too old to get around as well, retired and our family wants to put us in a senior living facility or something. i want to buy a property and build our house on it. we'd be surrounded by wild life. install a well -- you could birdwatch as much as you wanted, and i'd get a koi pond. with the biggest koi you've ever seen! so big and fat they all look pregnant." he nods, emphatic as he unintentionally starts giving evan a foot massage while he relays his daydream about their future together. "our life would be so peaceful. or would living far from a city drive you mad?"

[magicshop]

jinnie looking perfect as always for @cordiallyfuturedwight ♡

[intimvtes]

tbh give me a “damn you used to be dorky and lame as fuck in high school but now you’re fucking hot and i kinda wanna rip your clothes off but oops i used to make your life a living hell??? pls tell me you accept blowjobs as a form of an apology????” plot thanks

[itsybitsyromanoffff]

fellas, is it gay to tell your best friend that you want to be inside him?

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬.

( this is basically just a very self indulgent list of various fluff, angst, and suggestive themed dialogue sentence starters. )

❛ i could keep you safe. they’re all afraid of me. ❜

❛ i’m trying to fix your hair, so hold still. ❜

❛ your heart is beating so fast right now. ❜

❛ promise me you’ll still be here when i wake up. ❜

❛ you’re not as bad as everyone says you are. ❜

❛ i thought you’d like some company. ❜ 

❛ clean yourself up. you're getting blood all over the place. ❜

❛ here, give this a try and tell me what you think. ❜

❛ you can kiss me, you know. ❜

❛ come back to bed. ❜

❛ you look good like this. ❜

❛ working together again, it’s just like old times. ❜

❛ how is it you always know what i need, huh? ❜

❛ you’re lucky you got away with only a scratch. ❜ 

❛ i can’t imagine losing someone like that. i’m sorry. ❜

❛ you know you can always talk to me. ❜

❛ the only one who gets to kill you, is me. ❜

❛ so, what do i owe this pleasure? ❜

❛ ah, so you aren’t heartless after all. ❜

❛ may i have this dance? ❜ 

❛ it’s okay, you can touch me. i won't break. ❜

❛ enemies make the best lovers, you know. ❜

❛ hold still. this might sting a little. ❜

❛ we can't keep doing this. ❜ 

❛ you look like you've got something to say. ❜

❛ just relax and let me take care of you. ❜

❛ thought you’d be lighter without all that blood. ❜

❛ i had it under control. you didn’t need to do that. ❜

❛ everything looks so beautiful from up here. ❜

❛ you treat all your ladies like this? ❜

❛ well? how do i look? ❜

❛ can’t sleep? ❜

❛ do you mind if i smoke? ❜

❛ i’m scared of ending up alone. ❜

❛ i don’t think i’ve ever seen you smile. ❜

❛ how long has it been since you've slept? ❜

❛ you are losing my interest, and that’s very dangerous. ❜

❛ i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me what you’d do to me tonight. ❜

❛ you look really pretty right now. ❜

❛ i’ve never cared for anyone the way i care for you. ❜

❛ i’m not wearing any underwear. thought you’d like to know. ❜

❛ just a few more stitches and you’ll be as good as new. ❜

❛ i’d say we make a pretty good team. ❜

❛ i want you to forget this ever happened. ❜

❛ i'm here for business — not pleasure. ❜

❛ if i didn't know any better, i'd say you were jealous. ❜

❛ you'd look better down on your knees. ❜

❛ fine, keep acting like you hate me. ❜

❛ kiss me again. ❜

❛ are you asking me out on a date? ❜

❛ just sit there and look pretty and let me handle this. ❜

❛ you okay? caught you staring off into space again. ❜

❛ well, i do feel better now that you're here. ❜

❛ i'm not drunk enough for this. ❜ 

❛ why is it whenever we see each other, you’re covered in blood? ❜

❛ i was wrong about you. ❜ 

❛ the first time i met you, i had no idea you'd mean this much. ❜

❛ you gonna be a good girl / boy for me? ❜

❛ i’m not afraid of you. ❜

❛ books mean more to me than people anyway. ❜

❛ i just wanted to say thank you for protecting me. ❜

❛ how about a kiss goodnight? ❜

❛ i don’t have time for distractions right now. ❜

❛ you shouldn’t be out here by yourself. ❜ 

❛ if i have to think about one more thing today, my head will explode. ❜

[rubysunnday]

kate sassy sharma

[paramcur]

i apologize to the person i sb'd ... esp if we have genuinely never interacted before or something

[faerus]

if evan's vigilant, staying hydrated isn't usually one of his biggest issues. he looks young -- or younger than he is -- and baristas, waitresses, seem unperturbed and welcoming when he asks for water. a face of innocence -- or something of the sort. and so he knows that it isn't a hallucination, or a mirage, when evan wakes from slumber, and teddy (a sweet name, for an assumed cambion) is still there, perched on the arm of the bench. he blinks the exhaustion away, nose red with cold. "...you don't sleep?" he surprises himself when his voice is dry and raspy, and evan coughs -- tired -- into a fist. his arm is numb from the angle he slept in, and the hardness of the wood, but his legs are rested from the long, long, walk. the pain doesn't really ease, but it moves around, makes new homes in his joints, his bones, his neck. evan pushes himself to a seated position -- somewhat grateful that the sky is still relatively dark. it must be early, though he doesn't have the time.

@paramcur

[paramcur]

teddy has picked more difficult marks than evan king before. just not within the past century or so. maybe it's that he had a streak of clients that were easy pickings, even if their personal desires hadn't been easy to discern right away. normally all he had to do to make a sale was take a stab in the dark at anything within maslow's hierarchy of needs and it was a done deal, but that was not the case this time. on paper, evan seemed to fit the description of a lost soul, so teddy hoped he wouldn't have to do much more than lift a pinky to make him wander. turns out he was just a stubbornly lost soul that smelled as attractive to teddy as a cartoon pie on a windowsill and yet evan didn't want anything to do with him or his infernal dealings. he wonders just how far he'd have to go to get him on his knees. "you don't feel the elements?" teddy needles back, a wrinkle appearing between his brows as he takes in the nippy flush on evan's extremities. "i'll sleep, and consequently, leave you alone as soon as you sign your name on the dotted line. unless you really are worried about how rested i am?" he seems amused by the concept, a small grin tugging at his lips as he moves to stand up and leaves evan's side colder than before. teddy wasn't doing him any special favors, he just ran hot. "that'd be objectively stupid, but awfully sweet of you." sometimes it took cruelty to be kind, and teddy seemed to live by this ideology. (as much as he could without it calling the meaning of his existence into question, anyway.) there's a beat as teddy looks at him, assessing as if he's trying to figure out the best way to gain entry to high-security building or something equally complex and then clears his throat. has something changed about the world since he'd wandered it as a human with an equally damned soul? times were always changing, and it was hard to keep up. humans were selling each other subscription-based services for things as simple as breathing, and that was really encroaching on the low-brow type of shit teddy dealt in. "i don't understand."

[paramcur]

STFU HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAAY LITERALLY GONNA PUT JINS FACE ON THE SIDE OF A PLANE 2 CELEBRATE THIS NATIONAL HOLIDAY (ABUNDANCE OF HEART EMOJIS X1000000)

RETIHREKTHRK THANK U HOPIE WTF ... its true im a winter baby also ... as well as the fact that i am allergic to a million gajillion thingz .. perhaps. i have more in common w this muses fc than intially thought. and i appreciate u being such an upstanding citizen of ashnation n celebrating thie holiday w me .. i'm handing u a slice of red velvet ice cream cake w/ strawbs icecream + puree . you earned this. also unrelated but my pfp on discord:

[paramcur]

can’t help but notice its ur birthday today!!!! a very happy bday to u my dear ash and i hope u have the best bday ever and a wonderful day!! 🫶❤️🥹

LUNE FJDHGJFH THANK U MY HUNIEBUN ... it's been a rly good one so far & i cannot ask for more !! i appreciate u smsm ... giving u a forehead kees . it's aquarius season

[paramcur]

HELLO IT'S UR BDAY………… post this TO GET love bombed (in a healthy way) !!! smooching u on both cheeks consensually

OH YEAH BABY ... SWAG ... thank u honey !! i am alwayz consenting to smooches from u .. also yes . 27 years of survival. how'd this happen. it's really aquarius season now folks ... let's get weird with it

[paramcur]

i will (presumably) resume normal activity next week.