i put the "ass" in "jurassic park ate my son"

she/her | you can take the chemist out of the slutch but you cant take the slutch out of the chemist's guts

[parasusietxt]

hi. i'm patrya. i make inventions for a living and also eat random plants i find in the wilderness. i am immune to all known poisons and being electrocuted because i keep getting struck by lightning and shocked by my own inventions and my body has just learned to tolerate everything

i barely know what tumblr is. i love to crack dirty jokes. i am transsexual and smarter than god. i should know i built an artificial vagina for them because giving birth to my younger brother destroyed it

my best friend of all time is a weird cat mage from a hell planet two dimensions away but his mom is good at driving so we can hang out whenever

i love the color black it will never go out of style

[tony-the-tigers-juicy-armpit]

Ranking every individual proton that makes up my cellphone

[metaknightspiss]

if i saw parallel Susie on the road in front of me id run her over because she’d probably survive and once she got back up i would exit my car and appluad

there'd be a second phase to this vehicular manslaughter where she gets in her business suit and runs you over hashtag equality

[parasusietxt]

nah i think i’d just applaud 2

[parasusietxt]

hold on what's this blog rated again. can i say this openly

[parasusietxt]

pffffttt whatever loser *i turn to walk away but i trip and fall and my skirt flies up exposing my polka-dotted boxers * ouuaaahhghhhh (the closest approximation of a reaction i can give to this) *several vials of mysterious chemicals fall out of my bag and shatter upon impact, filling the room with noxious gas that kills both of us within seconds*

[t4timekeeper]

what is magolors favorite breakfast cereal?

Kellogg’s Apple Jacks, of course.

[parasusietxt]

they call me apple because i be j

[parasusietxt]

favorite word?

chemicals

[t4timekeeper]

[parasusietxt]

yeah just feel free to sit or lay down anywhere it's cozy here

[kirby-sexyperson-tournament]

Can we have Moley 2 just for the fun of it? Like, he lost (sad) but now there’s just another one of him also in the running

Susie get the cloning machine

[parasusietxt]

sorry i made another moley. yeah

[parasusietxt]

what’s a phrase you often think of that you can’t say out loud

i'll be real with you i have such little verbal restraint that the only things i don't really say out loud are thinly-veiled invitations for sexual activities. instead i say deliberately insincere invitations for sexual activities as an insult like "gargle my entire cock and balls"

[t4timekeeper]

[discount-supervillain]

[t4timekeeper]

robo moley thoughts

i think patrya invented robo moley specifically to fuck with him

[parasusietxt]

well. is it working

[t4timekeeper]

okay so from what i got so far shadow dream does not have the best taste

GHSHDKDJK I WAS GONNA B LIKE EXCUSE ME SHADOW DREAM HAS EXCELLENT TASTE???? she’s in love with the freaky bearish cyborg single father who lives in a cabin in the woods. I’m not the stepmom I’m just the guy who is fucking this young lady’s dad

[parasusietxt]

oh, so THAT'S what he meant when he said his love was "science". i thought it was a metaphor but he was actually in love with the robotic cat person that used to live near my older sibling

[parasusietxt]

my eternal torment

[t4timekeeper]

we need to dig him up and kill him again

[t4timekeeper]

dark taranza is the only child of the sun who smells good

[t4timekeeper]

sddd is not a child of the sun but he smells wonderful

[t4timekeeper]

pink haired susie smells like a little pastry shes a little pastry but parasusie smells llike butt and ass

[parasusietxt]

mean to me