#patrya.txt

[parasusietxt]

pffffttt whatever loser *i turn to walk away but i trip and fall and my skirt flies up exposing my polka-dotted boxers * ouuaaahhghhhh (the closest approximation of a reaction i can give to this) *several vials of mysterious chemicals fall out of my bag and shatter upon impact, filling the room with noxious gas that kills both of us within seconds*

[parasusietxt]

Are women bourgeois?

[parasusietxt]

basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a flapper, or a batty, or some sort of spideroo, then that’s probably okay. a batty and a spideroo are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. that’s basically fine.

if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of snowy dragon, or maybe a really big toad, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really big toad is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out.

unfortunately this will not deter a really big toad, because a really big toad is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of lava, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.

[parasusietxt]

is your dad looking for a third

not currently. last i heard, he was "married to science" and then blew up our cabin by accident. so now we're sleeping in a tent while we rebuild it

[parasusietxt]

gay magolor on 9/11: that plane just flew into a lower floor/id like to suck a snowman just once more

Now THIS is ART!!

[parasusietxt]

You are Dark Mind’s penisest daughter

even if you misread this at first it still holds up. thanks anon i needed this

[parasusietxt]

susie do you play dungeons and dragons

i used to do LARP back in the day with my siblings and their friends but i LARPed too hard once and the results were catastrophic

[parasusietxt]

hi. i'm patrya. i make inventions for a living and also eat random plants i find in the wilderness. i am immune to all known poisons and being electrocuted because i keep getting struck by lightning and shocked by my own inventions and my body has just learned to tolerate everything

i barely know what tumblr is. i love to crack dirty jokes. i am transsexual and smarter than god. i should know i built an artificial vagina for them because giving birth to my younger brother destroyed it

my best friend of all time is a weird cat mage from a hell planet two dimensions away but his mom is good at driving so we can hang out whenever

i love the color black it will never go out of style