prosperous to listen @parenchymas - Tumblr Blog

detailedart

Bottle green details: Rolling Waves. Painter: Constantin Westchiloff (1877-1945).

huariqueje

Nasturtiums - Stanisław Wyspiański , 1903.

Polish , 1869-1907

Crayon , 113.5 x 154 cm.

nobrashfestivity

Larry Poons

Euthalia, 1963

topcat77

Good morning Coffee, 1955

Edward Hopper

s-h-o-w-a

Men laying under cherry blossoms. From the photobook ‘Kyo no Miyako’, Japan, 1960-70

by Seiryu Inoue

topcat77

Virginia Jaramillo

redlipstickresurrected

Katie Whipple aka Katie G. Whipple aka Katherine Whipple (American, b. 1991, Avon, IN, USA, based Queens, NY, USA) - 1,2: Poppy, Paintings: Oil on Canvas

fohk

forestgreenlesbian

Algae in Lake Erie by Dave Zapotosky for The Blade

Feeling desperately nostalgic for summer 2021. Maybe it's because in many ways it feels like I was living this impersonation of adulthood in a way that feels so far from my current reality. I was 22, and living the life of someone in their 30s. Working my full-time salaried 9-5 job, living with my boyfriend, going on weekend trips with my friends. There was almost no flailing, post-grad; everything just sort of fell into place. Versus now, as I stare down the end of this masters, I can't help but flail. Nothing is certain, and I feel so directionless. 5 years later, and I feel completely out of my depth, especially when I think about how "together" things were at 22.

I know that's hubris, though. I never felt like things were together. The instability I was facing was much more existential than what I'm facing now. As much as the world is falling apart now, the world was falling apart in 2021. There was nothing else to do but hunker down into domesticity and routine. I was making way more money that I knew what to do with, because there was nothing to spend it on.

I've been wanting to reach out to Q ever since I started thinking about breaking up with Z. I think that's part of this. My life with him feels truly so far away now that I'm beginning to grow quite nostalgic for our time together. Our relationship is starting to feel fictional, belonging to someone else; certainly not to me.

I'm also thinking about this summer, this time in my life, after sleeping with this 21 year old this weekend. Thinking about who I was in my early 20s, what I'm presuming he's now staring down. I think this with Anne all the time too, how she's at the beginning of the period of my life that I'm now, I think, reaching the end of. Turning 30 is going to be surreal, I think. To look back on this decade of my life. I already feel a bit motion sick thinking about 5 years ago; I can't imagine what the weight of the full decade will feel like. I kind of can't wait. I feel like I'll need a full year of hibernation just to reflect.

#me #mine