Parent-Child-Connect

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Stop Chasing, Start Becoming: The "Before You Cuff" Guide to Dating with Purpose

If you’ve spent any time on social media lately, you’ve likely seen the term "cuffing season"—that period where everyone seems to be pairing up just in time for the holidays and Valentine’s Day. But for many, this season brings more anxiety than affection.

​We’ve all been there: the midnight text that feels like a connection but is actually just a mask for loneliness. The "almost right" person who checks every box on your list but leaves you with zero peace in your spirit.

It’s time for a "Pre-Relationship Detox." Here is how to navigate the road to Valentine's Day by prioritizing self-Leadership before partnership.

Start your pre-relationship detox on the YouVersion Bible app: http://bible.us/r/HFn

​1. The "Lead Last" Principle

​In a world that tells you to "follow your heart," the Bible offers a different strategy: Lead it. The "Lead Last" concept suggests that effective leadership in a relationship begins with intentional self-preparation. Before you communicate your intentions to someone else, you must master your own thoughts, emotions, and purpose.

​2. Wholeness Attracts Wholeness

One of the most viral-ready truths of 2026 is this: brokenness attracts brokenness. If you enter a relationship from a place of deficit, you will inevitably expect your partner to fill a void they were never meant to carry. Real love isn't about finding your "better half"; it's about two whole people forming a healthy, covenant connection.

​3. Purpose Over Preference

We all have "the list"—tall, dark, spiritual, funny, etc. While desires are natural, they can become a "lord" that limits your legacy if they overrule your calling. Chemistry is instant and often deceptive, but calling is intentional. Don't chase someone who fits your lifestyle but distracts from your mission.

​4. Healing Isn’t a Trend—It’s Necessary

​Culture loves the #HealingJourney aesthetic, but biblical healing happens in the quiet moments where you stop numbing the pain and let God perform "surgery on your soul". Before you "cuff," ask yourself if your scars are still bleeding. You cannot heal what you refuse to reveal.

​5. Loneliness is a Liar

Loneliness will tell you that this season of singleness is a punishment. In reality, this is a sacred season—a workshop where God is grounding your identity so that when the right person arrives, they complement you rather than completing you.

​Are You Ready to Detox?

​This Valentine's Day, don't just look for a date—look for a deeper connection with the Source. If you're ready to get your mind right before you commit, we have a resource for you.

​Start the full 21-Day "Before You Cuff" Bible Plan on the YouVersion Bible app here: http://bible.us/r/HFn

Adapted from Pastor Rick’s book "Before You Cuff: The Pre-Relationship Detox" with principles and insights from Olaolu Ogunyemi.

Source: Stop Chasing, Start Becoming: The "Before You Cuff" Guide to Dating with Purpose

[parent-child-connect]

You’re right. You can’t heal a 30-year marriage in 21 days.

I saw a comment on my last post saying that "21 days isn't enough to detox from a past relationship." I 100% agree!

If you’ve spent three decades building a life with someone, it would be absurd to think a three-week plan is a "magic fix." Healing isn't a race; it's a journey that takes as long as it takes.

Why this plan exists: This 21-Day Bible Plan isn't a "cure"; it’s a recalibration. It’s about building the daily habits that keep you grounded while you navigate the long road of healing.

Like everything we do at Parent-Child-Connect.com, I don’t pretend to have all the answers. I’m just sharing the tools and lessons that have pointed me (and others) toward peace.

Whether you're detoxing from a 3-month "cuff" or a 30-year marriage, take it one day at a time.

🔗 Start the 21-Day Heart Reset here

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It’s Cold Outside... You Know What That Means?

It’s cuffing season! For those who’ve been out of the game for a minute, "cuffing" is that frantic winter rush where everyone tries to find a partner just to have someone to binge-watch movies with and navigate the holiday season. Everyone is looking for a "plus one" in time for Valentine’s Day.

But hold the phone. Before you slide into those DMs or commit to someone just because the wind chill dropped (and a bunch of us are snowed in 🙄), let’s talk about the person who matters most in this equation: YOU.

The 21-Day Detox

We are beyond excited to announce our brand-new Bible Plan featuring the electric Pastor Simon Richardson III (Pastor Rick) of Grace Change Church and myself.

This isn't your typical "how to find a spouse" guide. This is a spiritual intervention. We’re calling it:

BEFORE YOU CUFF: The 21-Day Pre-Relationship Detox.

​What is a Pre-Relationship Detox?

​If you want a healthy relationship, you have to bring a healthy version of yourself to the table. Over the next 21 days, we’re going to help you:

​Clear the Clutter: Identifying baggage from past "cuffs" that you're still carrying.

​Align Your Heart: Getting your desires in sync with God’s timing, not the calendar’s timing.

​Build Your Foundation: Establishing your identity in Christ so you don't look for it in a partner.

How to finish the 21-Day Plan by Valentine's Day

The Countdown Starts TONIGHT!

If you start tonight, you will complete the full 21-day journey just in time for Valentine's Day. Imagine walking into February 14th with a clear mind, a healed heart, and a spirit that is actually ready for what God has for you.

​Don't just get cuffed—get right.

👉🏾 CLICK HERE TO START THE PLAN

Available now on the YouVersion Bible App. Let’s do the work together!

Source: It’s Cold Outside... You Know What That Means?

[erik-even-gayer]

Gurl, it takes more than 21 days to detox from a past relationship.

[parent-child-connect]

Agreed!

I co-authored this plan, and I'm right there with you! For example, I've witnessed close divorces after almost 30 years of marriage... You probably won't "detox" and heal in 21 days after building something for almost three decades. It would be absurd to think so.

With that said, this Bible Plan is designed to help you start daily habits to prepare you for your next (or first) relationship. Like other resources on to prepare you for your next (or first) relationship.

Like other resources on my website, Parent-Child-Connect.com, I don't pretend to have all the answers; I just share some things I've learned that may point you in the right direction.

Regardless, thanks for checking it out!

[wordpress-blaze-193387445]

It’s Cold Outside... You Know What That Means?

It’s cuffing season! For those who’ve been out of the game for a minute, "cuffing" is that frantic winter rush where everyone tries to find a partner just to have someone to binge-watch movies with and navigate the holiday season. Everyone is looking for a "plus one" in time for Valentine’s Day.

But hold the phone. Before you slide into those DMs or commit to someone just because the wind chill dropped (and a bunch of us are snowed in 🙄), let’s talk about the person who matters most in this equation: YOU.

The 21-Day Detox

We are beyond excited to announce our brand-new Bible Plan featuring the electric Pastor Simon Richardson III (Pastor Rick) of Grace Change Church and myself.

This isn't your typical "how to find a spouse" guide. This is a spiritual intervention. We’re calling it:

BEFORE YOU CUFF: The 21-Day Pre-Relationship Detox.

​What is a Pre-Relationship Detox?

​If you want a healthy relationship, you have to bring a healthy version of yourself to the table. Over the next 21 days, we’re going to help you:

​Clear the Clutter: Identifying baggage from past "cuffs" that you're still carrying.

​Align Your Heart: Getting your desires in sync with God’s timing, not the calendar’s timing.

​Build Your Foundation: Establishing your identity in Christ so you don't look for it in a partner.

How to finish the 21-Day Plan by Valentine's Day

The Countdown Starts TONIGHT!

If you start tonight, you will complete the full 21-day journey just in time for Valentine's Day. Imagine walking into February 14th with a clear mind, a healed heart, and a spirit that is actually ready for what God has for you.

​Don't just get cuffed—get right.

👉🏾 CLICK HERE TO START THE PLAN

Available now on the YouVersion Bible App. Let’s do the work together!

Source: It’s Cold Outside... You Know What That Means?

[parent-child-connect]

Connection > Correction: Navigating Childhood Disappointment

Connection > Correction 💡

​When your child fails or faces disappointment, the instinct is often to lecture or fix it. But disappointment is a "muscle" they need to build.

​Before you say a word, try these 3 steps:

​1️⃣ Be Mentally Available: Put the phone down. Your quiet presence communicates safety before you say a single word.

2️⃣ Mirror, then Lead: Subtly match their body language to show "I see you." Once they trust you're with them, slowly brighten your tone, and they’ll likely follow your lead (Limbic Synchrony).

3️⃣ Redirect, Don't Correct: Instead of debating their "excuses," ask: What can you control? What can you learn? What needs to be let go?

​Resilience isn't built by avoiding the "sad," it’s built by having a safe place to process it.

​Read the full breakdown (including the POP-C framework) on the blog: 👇🏾

How to Help Children Handle Disappointment Without Lecturing

When children face disappointment, connection matters more than correction. Learn practical, research-backed ways to help your child process

[wordpress-blaze-193387445]

It’s Cold Outside... You Know What That Means?

It’s cuffing season! For those who’ve been out of the game for a minute, "cuffing" is that frantic winter rush where everyone tries to find a partner just to have someone to binge-watch movies with and navigate the holiday season. Everyone is looking for a "plus one" in time for Valentine’s Day.

But hold the phone. Before you slide into those DMs or commit to someone just because the wind chill dropped (and a bunch of us are snowed in 🙄), let’s talk about the person who matters most in this equation: YOU.

The 21-Day Detox

We are beyond excited to announce our brand-new Bible Plan featuring the electric Pastor Simon Richardson III (Pastor Rick) of Grace Change Church and myself.

This isn't your typical "how to find a spouse" guide. This is a spiritual intervention. We’re calling it:

BEFORE YOU CUFF: The 21-Day Pre-Relationship Detox.

​What is a Pre-Relationship Detox?

​If you want a healthy relationship, you have to bring a healthy version of yourself to the table. Over the next 21 days, we’re going to help you:

​Clear the Clutter: Identifying baggage from past "cuffs" that you're still carrying.

​Align Your Heart: Getting your desires in sync with God’s timing, not the calendar’s timing.

​Build Your Foundation: Establishing your identity in Christ so you don't look for it in a partner.

How to finish the 21-Day Plan by Valentine's Day

The Countdown Starts TONIGHT!

If you start tonight, you will complete the full 21-day journey just in time for Valentine's Day. Imagine walking into February 14th with a clear mind, a healed heart, and a spirit that is actually ready for what God has for you.

​Don't just get cuffed—get right.

👉🏾 CLICK HERE TO START THE PLAN

Available now on the YouVersion Bible App. Let’s do the work together!

Source: It’s Cold Outside... You Know What That Means?