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Premiere of ParkRat's Pond-cam!

Premiere of ParkRat’s Pond-cam!

The premiere of a daily livestream of my new turtle habitat is now live! If you have been following my Instagram feed you already know that a recent project of mine has been to create a bigger area for the turtles (now totaling 5) that I’ve adopted from the Hawaiian Humane Societyover the last year or so. After (but still a work in progress) creating the new habitat I decided to try and see if…

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#MILadventures: Panty shopping with the MIL. Welcome to my world. - May 19, 2015

This is another one of those flashback posts where I have revisited some of the experiences that I have encountered via my MIL. This is one of those posts that in my mind have become "legendary" because 5 years later I am still catching flak from some of my social media friends with comments like "Are you going panty shopping with your MIL today?" or "What color panties did your MIL pick out?" After revisiting this post I realized that the real WTH moments weren't captured in the exchange below. Moments where she tells me about the types of panties that the varies female members of the family like (or don't like) to wear. The sad part is, the TMI part of her brain has never ever been there so I can't even blame this on her aging. Oh wells.

ME: *stops car in parking lot across VS* Ok. There is Victoria's Secret. There isn't parking so I am just going to drive around this area to find a space and wait for you. MIL: Um. Yes I know where it is. ME: No, I am dropping you off. You need to get out here. MIL: Oh well everyone is different. Amanda yells at me when I take off my seat belt before the car is stopped. ME: The car IS stopped. MIL: But she doesn't let me do it before the car is parked in a stall. ME: I can't find a stall! That is why I am dropping you off here. ME: *heavy sigh* She finally got out and went inside. Then I realized that I better find a parking stall and get in there or she could leave the other way and I would end up spending the rest of the day trying to find her! In retrospect I probably should have just waited in the car. It would have been far less traumatizing to have to go look for her around the mall than to be in VICTORIA'S SECRET with my MIL. Shopping for panties. Welcome to my world. Read the full article

My #MILadventures: The Wonders of Elderly Caregiving

Happy National Family Caregivers Month! In recognition of National Family Caregivers Month I have decided to finally launch my #MILadventures Blog. This is something that I have been "encouraged" (Melissa, my business partner, has pretty much been demanding it of me for years now) to do for a few years now. #MILadventures will be about my interactions with my elderly MIL (Mother-In-Law) with whom I (along with my wife and kids) have been living with since 2015 and the various challenges we have come across in this new stage of our lives as caregivers to an elderly person. The catalyst for this blog was a series of social media posts that I had done about different interactions I have had with my MIL who back when we first moved in was just a woman set in her ways which in and of itself made for some frustrating conversations. But now she has a bit of dementia which creates a whole different level of amusing IMHO interactions. After a series of Emergency Room visits for my MIL her kids came to the conclusion that she needed to have someone living with her to be near if she needed help and to keep an eye on her. During a family meeting it was decided that we would be the ones who would move in because our situation was a lot more flexible than the others who had children that were a lot younger than ours. They all agreed to be an active part in caring for my MIL and a system was worked out where all of the kids had a week that was "theirs" to "feed Mom". And so within a couple of weeks we moved in upstairs from my MIL and while the stories didn't start immediately. I think it took less than a month before my first #MILadventures social media post. While some people may take some of my posts as me being mean and totally inappropriate (they probably are) here are some perspectives (justifications?) from my point of view: Below the craziness and frustrations of dealing with each other, family is family and will always be loved. This is the foundation for why we do what we do. And to be honest it is probably also the cause of the frustration too because it is the reason for why we can't just walk away. A lot of people have experienced or are experiencing almost EXACTLY the same things. It is spooky how something you think is so unique is actually shared by many. Yes, EXACTLY is an exaggeration but they are so close that it is scary. Only people who have gone through it can truly understand what it means to take care of an aging relative. And visiting or calling once a month to "check in" doesn't count as "going through it". I thought I knew it all because of what my parents went through with taking care of my grandparents. I now know I didn't know crap about anything having to do with caring for the elderly. While my MIL is the main character and catalyst for this blog it is really not about her. This is about me and need for some "stress relief". If I don't let it out and laugh (or purge) about it I would probably just cry. I do understand that that a very selfish reason, but I don't care. Everyone needs to find their own way and I am at peace with what I am doing because see #1 above is where my heart is. Beyond the "stress relief selfishness", it is also a "paying it forward" thing (that is my story and I'm sticking to it). As mentioned in #3, since moving in we have come across many people who have experienced what we are now experiencing and they have shared with us a lot of advice on how they dealt with their own challenges. Advice that has proven to be INVALUABLE in our ability to manage our situation and to stay the course and continue to do what we have to do to ensure the best outcome for all. There have been many who have shared and helped in different ways and we are grateful to you all. But we (Melanie and I) wanted to send a special mahalo to Melissa, DK, Tina, Dania, and Sean for their support, advice, and for sharing your experiences with us. It is very much appreciated and has been an important part of our quest to try and maintain our sanity. I hope that in sharing what Melanie and I (and our whole family) are going through it can allow others who are experiencing similar things to see that it "could be worse" or "they are not alone" and together we can all keep on keepin' on. Let the tales of #MILadventures begin! Read the full article