[partyoffourplusfur]

it feels like I blinked and I'm back to where I started.

[partyoffourplusfur]

I need my husband to stop joking about getting me pregnant or else I'm gonna go get my birth control removed. I want another baby so dang bad.

[partyoffourplusfur]

my step dad has moved the date he wants to come and get all my belongings +my children FOUR times. and in turn giving me FOUR less days to pack. I could scream. I literally want to punch him in the throat. not even there and already making my life harder.

[partyoffourplusfur]

big regrets not buying this

[partyoffourplusfur]

my uncle Paul is in the ICU. critical condition but sedated and stable. cardiac arrest. failing organs. his youngest child is 5 months pregnant. their mother died when they were teens.. if he dies before she has her baby and neither of their parents get to meet their grandchild, I'm gonna lose my mind.

I'm moving in a week and I do not want the first thing on my to do list to be a funeral...please make it through this...

[partyoffourplusfur]

9 days. single digits. I wanna throw up.

[partyoffourplusfur]

My job is pushing me out. told them my last day could be next Thursday and I wasn't put on schedule next week at all so guess my last day is tomorrow.

Didn't think I'd really care but tonight I'm crying that tomorrow I'll wake up and it'll be my last day with the people ive spent the last two years with.

bodes well for the next week. I'm gonna be a fucking MESS over leaving my best friend. A MESS I TELL YOU. How am I supposed to do life without her 10 minutes down the road ???

[partyoffourplusfur]

keep telling myself "this is gonna be our year"

really hope moving home for a year makes a difference for us.

really hope we don't get stuck there.

[partyoffourplusfur]

my brain is having all the doubts. Are we making the wrong choice? Will our children suffer from our choices? Is this really the best choice for our family? What if we're going backwards? What if we get stuck? My husband keeps talking about having another baby. Is that even a possibility for us? Would moving help or hinder that from happening? Our goal is to go to Portland. Would we be able to do that with a new baby?? What if the kids resent us for moving? (twice??) What if they resent us for having another baby? What if?What if? What if?

[partyoffourplusfur]

Less than two weeks till we leave Illinois.

My heart hurts.

I'm gonna miss this place.

I'm gonna miss my people.

[partyoffourplusfur]

Giving ourselves baby fever with our own babies 😂😂😂😂

[partyoffourplusfur]

June on the phone with her friends "today at school I had a dare to go up to the principal during recess and say "I like cookies" so I did. And she was like "okay" and then I walked away"

The childhood is childhooding, y'all. Im so sad she's leaving her friends from this school. They're so pure 😭 hope she has good friends in Texas.

[partyoffourplusfur]

Got tattoos with my best friend before we both move to separate states across the country and I'm real emotional about it, okay?

[partyoffourplusfur]

"they picked a beautiful spot" -my funny ass husband 😂

[partyoffourplusfur]

Today my almost 10 year old told me she wants another sibling after being heavily against it for the last 3 years we've talked about having another. MAAM. The door definitely feels closed but it ain't locked 👀👀👀👀👀

[partyoffourplusfur]

Played hookey from work with my husband yesterday for an early 5 year wedding anniversary celebration and legitimately had one of the best days of my life with him. Went to lunch at Mexican restaurant in town, sat on patio in the sunshine. Perfect patio weather. Walked to antique shop and walked around and got a elephant for my collection, an stone carved Aztec god letter opener, and a local artist painting of Illinois to put in new home. ♥️ Also found the same Coca-Cola phone I had in my room growing up! (Which is a whole other story) Walked to popcorn shop and got Oreo popcorn (holy shit going back for a bag before we move) Had so much sex. 🫣 10/10 best day.

[partyoffourplusfur]

It was a good week.