[geofilter]

After Obama Victory, Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage Early GOP Front-Runner For 2016

Sources say the screaming orb might be the only potential candidate that would tap into Republicans' deep-seated, seething fury after this election.

YO THE ONION IN NOVEMBER 2012 FUCKING CALLED IT

[abacot]

[iammyfather]

Yet he is the one they “Debunked” until the Photographer had to step in and say “Yes I took those pictures and yes that IS Bernie.”

[legendaryshayne-deactivated2019]

Lmfaoing that’s wtf I said

[mysharona1987]

[lol-post]

You thought your jail could stop me?

[beak-on-fleek-deactivated201704]

No cage can hold my power…….

[just-shower-thoughts]

I love listening to someone knowledgeable talk about a hobby I have no knowledge of. It reminds me how of much unnoticed complexity exists right beneath the surface of every aspect of life.

[parzival221]

some nerd: if you stop eating refined sugars for a while it changes your whole palate. you'll start to notice the natural sweetness of baby carrots, or whole wheat bread!

me: *pouring chocolate-covered potato chips into my mouth* that's real fucking neato

[memecenterz]

[hellyeahthomassanders]

If I Were a Lawyer ⚖ by Thomas Sanders

[tittyauthor]

The new season of Serial is looking great

[harrypotterdailly]

May I offer you a cough drop, Dolores?

[thingsmymusicprofessorssay-blog]

“No, no NO!! Basses, STOP! You keep beating me to the D!”

My Symphony conductor at her finest. (via howdoesoneflute)

[lledxela]

[cadoized]

[beefbearrito]

[beafcow2]

me and the squad

[in-soviet-russia-appa-rides-you]

Click the sound, it gets better.

[libraryfemme]

I’m

[thewelovemachinesposts]

No, I’m not interested in developing a powerful brain. All I’m after is just a mediocre brain, something like the President of the American Telephone and Telegraph Company.

Alan Turing https://openquotes.github.io/authors/alan-turing-quotes/#b3165d5c (via thewelovemachinesposts)

[karmicallydelicious]

[ungratefullittleshit]

“For a brief time in the 70’s, our town was taken over by a cult.”

[micdotcom]

Watch: Leonardo DiCaprio calls to end climate change in Oscar acceptance speech.

[s-c-i-guy]

He worked like 20 something years to win an award and when he finally did he used his 30 second speech to talk about the environment. Fuck yes.

[sci-universe]

Over the last few years, DiCaprio has steadily donated his celebrity - and at least $30m in funding according to his foundation - to help advance the United Nations climate negotiations, protect coral reefs and tigers, to stop overfishing, to create marine reserves in the Pacific, and spread public awareness about the dangers of climate change. (from How Leonardo DiCaprio became one of the world’s top climate change champions)

[how-to-get-revenge]

Take my spot in the movie theater? I think not

So, this just happened and the woman is still shooting me dirty looks.

So, I decided that I wanted to go see The Martian today. I took the bus and ended up showing up 50 minutes early. So I was the only one in the theater for a good 25 minutes so I took my time picking out my ideal spot. I decided to go the bathroom before the movie so I didn’t miss anything. On my way back with a soft pretzel in hand, I see the a woman with her kids and she’s moving all of my stuff to a different seat so her and her kids can take my spot. I stomach it, grab my stuff and move to a different spot. While I’m sitting there eating my pretzel, I notice her and her kids all going to the bathroom. I seize the opportunity. I run, grab all their stuff, and move it to seats right in front of the entrance so they’ll see it as soon they walk in. I then reclaim my rightful place in my perfect spot. The lady comes in, sees her stuff, looks at me, connects the dots, and now has been shooting the occasional death glance from the front row and every other spot filled up.

[marcitlali]

sometimes all u can say is “yikes” and just move tf on lol