Gaeul is the personification of the phrase âDon't judge a book by its cover.â
A big personality inside a small stature, Gaeul's appearance belies her true self. She's enigmatic, she's witty, she's charismatic, she's funny, and most importantly, she's honest. Honest, almost, to a fault.
She's your best friend, and she has always had your back. When you were down, she would always pull you back up. When you were lost, she would always find you. Gaeul has always been there for you no matter what, and you always knew you could rely on her. You trust Gaeul implicitly, and she does you.
There's this other side to Gaeul too, see, she looks ever so innocent. The way her voice always carries with excitement, it's always so full of life and wonder. Innocence is always an assumption people have of Gaeul. It's completely, and utterly incorrect, but people tend to assume it nonetheless.
Gaeul called you up as she usually does, and yes, you were busy, but not even an hour later you found yourself at a cafe sitting across from her. It was important, or so she said.
"Look at this message. He definitely wants to bone me, right?" Just like that, you had your regular reminder that all those assumptions about Gaeul are wrong.
"I don't know, he just said he wants to get drinks," you answered, albeit in the least convincing tone in your arsenal. Of course, he wanted to bone her.
"Exactly, drinking leads to being drunk and being drunk leads to boning."
"I've gotten drunk around you loads of times and we never ended up in bed together."
Gaeul squinted at you disapprovingly. "Well, we almostâ"
"We don't talk about that, remember. Anyway, what's the problem, isn't this basically your dream Friday night? Boy meets girl, boy and girl get drunk, boy takes girl home, boy and girl fuck until they fall asleep," you told her, tilting your iced coffee in her direction as a gesture of encouragement.
"So you do think he's gonna bone me?" Gaeul asked, leaning back on her seat as she chewed on her bottom lip, no longer sure what to think of this text.
"Okay, maybe, but what's the problem?"
"He seems a bit clingy. He's all 'It would be cool if we could get dinner before' or 'I'd love it if we could go watch that new film that's out'," she groaned. "What am I, his girlfriend?"
Some psychiatrists would probably diagnose this as something born out of attachment issues or maybe some insecurity. Whatever, why bother with the analysis? She just hates relationships.Â
She's young and having funâa lot of fun. Sex, and plenty of it. Men and women in equal supply. Either way, relationships aren't on her agenda.
That's not what this story is, anyway. This story is not about Gaeul, not really. Her raunchy nights with strangers are important, but for you, it's more about the morning after.
"So cut it off with him, then. Give him some fake excuse and ghost him before you have another person falling for you."
She slammed her head onto the wooden table of the cafe. "Easier said than done. I mean he's funny. And he's pretty cute." She peered at you, an evil grin now curling her lips, "And I still want to bang him."
"Gaeul, we both know how this ends, you're going to see him tonight and you're ending the night on your back."
"Counter argument: maybe I'm on top."
"Alright, sure, but why am I here? You're only going to call me right after anyway."
"Well..." Gaeul said, leaning closer. "He has this friend andâ"
"No, I'm good," you told her and she reeled back from your instant rejection, her eyes wide as if you'd shot her dead.
"Ugh, you're no fun." She shrugged, unfazed, as her hands flew across her phone's screen.
"You know where I get my fun."
"I'll call you after, don't worry," Gaeul said with a slight curve in the corner of her mouth, and that was the promise you held her to.
The promise she was right now upholding. Your phone is ringing with a call from Gaeul and it's the perfect way to start your morning. You smile, content that your best friend has kept to her promise.
"So? How'd it go, was he as big as you hoped?" You ask as you roll over onto your side and prop yourself on one elbow, the smooth fabric of your silken sheets beneath you.
"Big enough," she says followed by a satisfied hum, and you can just imagine that Gaeul must have the kind of stupid, satisfied smile that reaches her ears right now, "The things I let people do to me."
You shake your head and roll your eyes at that last part. "Come on, Gaeul, are you going to keep talking vague? The suspense is killing me." Your lips spread into a teasing grin that you're pretty sure Gaeul can hear through the call. You do very much appreciate her elaborate storytelling.
"Alright fine," she sighs, and the satisfaction is still there, if the subtle laugh she gives is any indication. "The drinks were good and went down easy. There was the small talk and the questions. So, I told him, he could ask any question as long as I got to ask any question I wanted afterwards. We were curious enough about each other and eager enough. We agreed.
"He started with these boring ones, 'What made you dye your hair black', 'Do you prefer salty or sweet foods', and all that other shit. But then I asked him a question that made his eyes pop."
"What was it?" You ask. Gaeul pauses, but the anticipation is a welcome feeling. Her playful silence lets the anticipation rise in you.
"I asked him, 'My face or my ass'?" You both laugh. That was so typical of Gaeul. Typical, but ever so effective.
"And what did he pick?"
"My face, though I don't think he understood I was asking him where he would prefer to cum. His face was so innocent when he said it. I wanted to give him a pat on the head for such a good answer," she explains in an exaggerated cutesy voice.
"He was all the usual, 'Oh you're so pretty' and 'Oh you're so adorable'. Yadda, yadda, yadda. I'm not saying he wasn't right because I do look really pretty," Gaeul quipped, to which you smiled, and she continued, "It went on for a while, he started asking some... hotter things. About how and when I touch myself."
"Usual guy stuff, sure," you joke, and you take delight in how she snorts a little giggle.
"Sure, well, next came his inevitable, 'Want to head back to mine?' Of course, I said 'Yes'. Then he said he would call us a cab, which, thank god, because it's much harder to do hand stuff on a bus compared to a cab."
"But not impossible," you interjected, remembering how she once described being felt up by someone in a packed train car. The way she grinned as she recounted it made her quite the bad girl.
"Anyway, we get in the cab and he just can't keep his hands off me. All over my tits and shit," she lets out a dark chuckle before her voice falls deeper, lower, sensual, and with the emphasis of a dangerous edge, "Don't know if the driver appreciated it but I sure as fuck did."
"Tell me more," you say, putting Gaeul on loudspeaker and placing the phone on the pillow by your head. You lay flat on your back and stretch your muscles. The joints of your toes curl into the sheets and push them down into the mattress as you arc your spine, and the deep inhale you take through your open mouth is soon followed by a relaxed exhale.
"He just slipped his hand up my shirt while she kissed my neck," Gaeul continues, bringing the memory to life with her words. She recounts in precise and deliberate detail how her nipples went hard the instant she was touched, the electricity sparking inside of her as he pinched at them with thumb and forefinger.
There's a rustling from the other side of the call before she continues her story, "We get in his place, he gets the door locked behind him, and the first thing I feel is his hot breath against my ear. It was warm and it tickled just a little bit. Then he whispered in a low voice that I can tell he thought was seductive."
"What did he say?" You ask, eagerly.
"'Fuck, I've never been this horny with someone so quick before'," Gaeul says and pauses. You both share a small laugh before she goes on, "Honestly, I did think it was kinda sexy at the moment, you know? Then he pulls off my shirt. Doesn't even unbutton it, just over my head with all the buttons. Guess the horniness was getting to him."
"Can't blame him." you run your hand up your own torso, fingertips barely brushing over the smooth, warm skin.
"And fuck, I was horny too. I was hungry. I turned and pinned him to his door, you should have seen the shock on his face, and I planted a kiss right on his lips. He wasn't that great. Wasn't really my type of kisser, actually. Too stiff, his lips were too dry, but still a kiss. I guess," Gaeul gives every little detail about him; from how his height stood a whole head taller than her, to how his eyes shone in the dark with a hint of anticipation. "I wasn't there for the kissing, so it was fine, and that's when his hands grabbed my ass. He was so rough, you should have heard the smack his palm made as it landed."
You hum in approval and bring a hand between your legs. In your mind's eye, you see her ass being spanked and groped, and you feel yourself growing more aroused. "Go on."
"Rough hands," Gaeul breathes into the phone. "I fucking love it."
"Yeah..." You sigh grab hold of your thighs and stretch out the tension.
"I could feel it, how hard he was, poking through his trousers and into my stomach."
"You loved feeling how hard you got him, didn't you?"
"Fuck yeah," her voice, dripping in lust and sex, was deep and steady like it always was when she gets like this. "So I dropped to my knees, practically ripped open his belt buckle and pulled down his zipper. And those pants fell to his ankles just like that, and then came the thing I was actually there for."
"Let's hear it," you urged.
"Like I said, good size, that's for sure, I've seen way worse. No way near the biggest dick that I've taken though. Anyway, I start stroking him with one hand," Gaeul lets out a gasp. You're not quite sure if it's for the benefit of her storytelling, but her sounds have always driven you crazy. "And then with my other, I've got his balls cupped and he's fucking loving it.
"I could tell, his cock was getting so big and so hot. It throbbed so much in my hands, so much so I could feel the blood pumping through him. And my hands were moving faster, my lips, teasing his tip, kissing, nibbling, even licking. I loved every fucking second because his dick tasted so good. After all, I could feel how worked up he was. So, I took him whole, you should have heard him moan, it was the cutest groan,"
Gaeul then breathes out heavily into the microphone, and her breath hitches in her throat and comes out short and sharp. You close your eyes and try and imagine the scene, and Gaeul must be reliving it too as you listen to her soft, sharp, wet breathing over the line. You tease yourself and plead with her, "Don't stop."
"And I'm looking up at him, through my lashes, and his eyes are almost pleading like he was trying so hard to hold his cum. Like he's trying to impress me, prove to me how much stamina he has. He's letting little moans and grunts out from his cute little lips, he's gripping the door handle so tight his fingers were white, and his knees are trembling. He's about to cum in my mouth, and my pussy is aching for him," she continues and lets her sentence trail off into a whining moan as she imagines his dick twitching inside her mouth.
"So quickly?" You ask, pushing your underwear down to your knees.
"I'm just that good, babe. The second my mouth met the shaft of his cock he was practically ready to burst. My tongue was dancing over the head, and I could taste the precum," Gaeul recalls. Her voice sizzles in your ears, and it is more like a deep purr, and it sends thrills down your body. A soft exhale escapes your mouth, and you're imagining her tongue caressing a hard dick. "And I'm only sucking harder now, stroking him faster. My left hand gripping onto him tight and tugging away. My right cradling those balls of his."
"All to make him cum," you utter in an aroused voice that you tried to hide but couldn't.
"Shit babe, it worked. I didn't even have time to prepare for him," she recounts. "He bucks his hips into my mouth. Barely has a chance to grab my head, he just blows so soon. All his cum was hot, and he was flooding my mouth."
"Shit..." You moan softly as you visualise a young man bucking his hips and releasing into Gaeul's mouth.
"Did I just go over to his to swallow his cum?" She asks and gives a laugh.
"I hope not."
"You wanna know what's funny?"
"Tell me," you plead to her.
"He came so quick that he went bright red, embarrassed, stuttering like a schoolboy that got caught smoking by the principal. All the courage he built up earlier in the taxi ride was completely gone. I couldn't help but laugh, mouth full of his cum, laughing at him. But I'm not going to lie. As he deflated so fast after he blew, all that bravado disappeared."
You let out a soft, something, barely a laugh, hesitating to touch as Gaeul grinds the story to a halt.
"Not funny?" she asks.
"Just, wish you'd continue, kinda in the middle of something here."
"Sorry, okay, where was I," Gaeul trails her words. "So I swallowed every drop, wiped at my chin where I've spilt a little and the guy still looks like he's going to die. I wanted him to suffer in the embarrassment a little, I wasn't going to tell him 'It's okay', so I got up and pulled him across his apartment. The guy nearly fell over his trousers since they were still on his ankles until he kicked them off.
"So the guy is a bit of a clean freak, by the way, the apartment was spotless. Somehow, I'm leading him to his own bed, don't know where the fuck I'm going but I find it and push him onto it. At this point, the guy's half-naked, sprawled, with his hand over his dick."
"All shy after your pretty lips have gotten him off, huh?"
"Right." Gaeul laughs, "So I stand at the edge of his bed, kick off my sneakers then pull down my jeans and drop them beside him. Then, he's staring at me and I ask him, 'Like the view?'"
"Stupid question, you're smoking," you interject with a smirk on your lips.
"The guy says, and I quote, 'Holy cow.' Who the fuck says 'holy cow'? Holy cow, babe, just holy cow," Gaeul starts laughing something manic, a cackle which is matched with a soft sigh, "Then, I just kinda laughed, like really, really laughed. It's all absurd, you get what I mean?"
"Oh god no he didn't?" You asked though the amusement was already creeping through.
"Right? What an idiot. Well, he was turning redder and redder as I was dying of laughter. It's about this time I realised I was so horny I had seduced pretty much the biggest loser in the city. Anyway, I had to shut him up, so I climbed onto the bed, and then onto his face. Dropped myself onto his stupid mouth. And then..."
"Then?" you prod her on.
"His lips and his tongue..." She makes a small moan, pleased, deep and sexy, and the sound is so hot. "Hungry boy. He starts lapping at my pussy like he was starved. He's all groaning and humming, and the vibration. That feels fucking great."
"Oh fuck..." You let a tiny sigh, one that you meant to keep to yourself, escape your lips. Gaeul keeps talking and in your mind, you're there with herâher voice fills your mind and draws an image. She tells you how she fucks his mouth, your imagination takes over.
"His tongue dances on me, licking over my lips, my clit, his lips were smacking and sucking on my most sensitive parts. He was so... energetic," Gaeul tells you. Your eyes closed, you can only imagine, in full detail, every stroke and flicker of his tongue as she described it. "Worshiping my pussy like it's the best thing in the world. So when his hands are grabbing hold of my ass and bringing my cunt to him even harder... Shit," Gaeul breaks from the story and swears.
You can't hold back anymore, touching yourself to the thought.
"He wanted this so bad. His hands were clamping hard onto me. His mouth sucking on me like a fucking vacuum. His tongue was all over the place. Everywhere it touches is like a jolt of electricity going through me. It's sending such great signals up my spine, right to my brain." Gaeul lets out a full, deep moan. One that is as tantalising as her words. It's followed by the sound of rustling. "I start just grinding down into his stupid fucking face."
You'd love nothing else in the world right now than to have Gaeul ride your face. "I can't get over how fucking delicious you would look like," you tease, "With that dumb guy, pinned under you,"
"I was moaning like crazy. If the neighbours were asleep, well, not anymore," Gaeul describes.
"Fuck," you respond as you find rhythm. You lose track of everything else, picturing Gaeul riding his stupid face until she cums.
Gaeul moans again, louder now, and with a husky, raspiness to her tone that you have memorised.
"There is no shame left in me, my hips moving into him with a need, a need for release," Gaeul chokes, then resumes with a pace of her own, "I can feel his fingers digging deeper and deeper into my flesh, and he was rocking my cunt even harder into his hungry mouth. His tongue, working so good. So, good...
"Just remembering how it felt... I'm gonna..." Gaeul moans again, throaty and harsh, and you picture it all in your head. She is sitting up in bed, legs wide apart, and fingers buried deep inside of her pussy. Moaning into her phone, moaning to you.
It's an amazing fucking image.
"I can feel my entire body starting to go warm, my thighs clamping onto the poor guy's skull. Oh my fucking god, his tongue, I love it, his tongue," Gaeul makes a long, low and whimpering moan, like the air was squeezed out of her lungs. "It feels like I've lost myself in time, completely. I'm going faster, my hips rolling into him faster and faster, desperate for relief. Then all of a sudden, it's all hitting at once, the spark just lights and I am exploding like a supernova, my core just bursting, and my pussy flooding his fucking stupid mouth."
You're chasing her high. "Shit," you find yourself whispering, softly at first and getting louder as you feel yourself nearing that beautiful feeling of sweet relief.
"I'm cumming so hard, his tongue is still going, still drawing out every last bit of my climax as he keeps feeding on me. The sheer fucking madness of the sensation... fuck, imagine that."
"Yeah..." You groan. "I am."
"You're so filthy," her words drip of sultry sex and that tease in her voice sends a tremor down to the base of your spine, setting your insides ablaze as the blood in your veins rises, the throbbing inside you reaching an incomparable peak. "Are you getting off to my story? I fucking dare you."
You close your eyes and breathe in the thought of her. Every inch of her lustful body, "I am."
"Fucking perv," she growls, her breathing sharp and shaky, erratic. A sound that resonates within your bones, and shakes you to the core. "Bet you want your lips wrapped around my clit. Let you suck the sweet nectar from my tight, hot pussy," she breathes through her teeth in a hissing sound as she falls over that edge. You can feel her shiver and quake. You hear every little shuddering whimper, every moan that escapes her soft, pretty little lips, and they ignite every sense in your body as if you can feel the electricity coursing through every nerve in her body, just as it is inside you.
You cum for her. You always cum for her, just like this. Your toes curl and your back arches. You twist, writhing under the feeling, your skin blazing as sweat rolls over it, your whole world coming to a beautiful standstill. You can't help but cry out her name in your bed.
"Nothing else makes me cum like this," you mumble, breathless and ragged as you finish, then add "You slut."
"How does it make you feel, hearing my dirty sex stories first thing in the morning?" Gaeul purrs. There is a sinister satisfaction in her tone, and that coy smile curling the corner of her mouth is definitely there in her voice. You can imagine it clear as day because it has been etched into your brain, that stupid, irresistible grin of hers.
"More," you beg, the aftermath of your orgasm, leaving the inside of your body searing hot, a sensation that you want desperately more of.
"Not now. Later," she sneers, knowing how it kills you inside.
"Don't be so harsh on yourself," Yuri gives comfort with a sympathetic smile. "I like what you've done."
"It probably should be in a higher register," you comment blandly. "It feels out of place."
"Hey!" Yuri is shooting you daggers. "She did well enough. Her falsetto is amazing." She gives you a mock stern look then and waggles a finger. "We can re-record this part, Isa, we have all the time in the world."
Isa looks stressed, yet she's trying very hard to keep that same sweet, saccharine persona, even though her quivering lip gives away her annoyance. "Could I maybe tryâ"
"Coffee break!" Yuri interrupts in exclamation, jumping off her stool. Yuri points a finger at both you and Isa. "Let's go! You and you."
She skips out of the booth, leaving you and the disgruntled Isa following suit. Your walk to the coffee shop next door is an awkward one. Yuri skips ahead in her positively excited manner as if she had not a care in the world. While Isa, a girl you've spoken to a handful of times, walks silently by your side. She has her arms wrapped protectively around herself, and her bobbed hair bounces a little with each step, it's rather adorable.
Yuri stops you at the door.
"You have my card right? Three of my usual, okay?"
"Sure thing, boss," you say with a wry smile, she hates when you call her that.
The two girls sit in a booth and by the time you have queued, ordered, paid and collected, they're embroiled in conversation. You take a seat at Yuri's side after putting the drinks in the middle of the table.
"So your company isn't paying for any of this?" Isa asks.
"Nope, they're doing the marketing and stuff, but the production is self-funded. I can do it better myself." Yuri pauses to look at you expectantly. You place a coffee in front of her, which she sips before continuing. "Oh, Isa, I ordered my favourite for us all, a salted caramel mocha!"
"One of my favourites." Isa smiles for the first time in almost an hour. It suits her, making her eyes glimmer like emeralds.
"I knew it! We have similar tastes in everything, me and you." Yuri lays a hand on Isa's arm in such an overfamiliar way that you worry about the consequences, though Isa doesn't seem too concerned about your boss's usual forward manner, rather she appears charmed by it.
"So how do you afford it all? Does the solo stuff pay that well?"
"Um, not really." Yuri gives you a quick side-eye. "I actually use my... other income to fund my music."
"Oh?" Isa quirks her head to the side adorably.
Careful Yuri. This probably isn't the time, the place or the person for this. Though you have to blindly trust Yuri here, interrupting could just cause more questions. The only real option you have is to just wait and see where she takes this.
"Yep," Yuri states plainly and clearly. "My assistant here actually runs it all, he knows more about it than me." Yuri smiles the sweetest of smiles at you, hiding that mischievous feeling inside.
"Oh really? What do you do?" Isa asks.
You raise a brow at her, wordlessly letting Yuri know that you're not on board with the direction she has taken. Yuri, in turn, throws you those wide eyes of hers that tell you in no uncertain terms 'Just roll with it!' and you're powerless to do anything else.
Isa prods at the silence with a renewed question, "Isn't it some kind of social media thing?"
Yuri laughs quietly into her hand.
"Uh, well, kinda," you hesitate. "The money comes from donations, monthly subscriptions, that kind of thing. And we make most of it through creating and posting content."
"Ohh..." A gentle hmmm fills the booth as Isa looks from you to Yuri and then back to you again. "Okay..."
"Show her," Yuri prods you.
"Should we reallyâ"
"What if I sign up?" Isa offers.
"You want to sign up?" Yuri laughs in surprise.
"Mm... You think I should or not?" Isa asks.
"Depends what you're into," Yuri teases. All the while you have been reluctantly pulling up Yuri's page on your phone, you shoot a cautious glance to your boss but she pays no heed and just motions with a hand for you to slide your phone to Isa. You do, hesitantly. Isa studies it, her eyes roving about the page while she drinks from her drink. Yuri's tongue runs along her lower lip, waiting for any response, or just the right moment to continue pushing, you can't quite tell.
"Are those your...?"
"Legs."
"And is that your...?
"Ass."
It's just the homepage, with the completely anonymous name that in no way ties back to the girl at your side, and the banner, a picture from the waist down of a naked Yuri posing by a window. The lighting was warm and the shadows alluring. A filter casts a rosy shade on the entire thing.
"How long have you been doing this? Do many people subscribe?" Isa hands the phone back over to you.
"A year and a half now, and yes," Yuri preens and continues to add a note of superiority, "Plenty of people do, Isa."
"Wait. So this is anonymous, right? Who knows about this?"
"No one outside of this booth," you tell her, with a hint of authority, to warn her of sharing it beyond this circle of trust that Yuri has created.
"The fans don't know it's me," Yuri adds, "they think that I'm just some girl. So, Isa, still want to subscribe?" Yuri jokes, now that the other girl knows what she inadvertently agreed to.
"Well, I would like to see what's on there." A sudden panic sets on her face. "Not to be weird or anything! Just... curiosity."
"That's cute," Yuri giggles. "We should really go back to the studio now."
"One last thing," Isa halts Yuri. "Is it fun? Why do you do it?"
Yuri thinks a little about her answer, she clearly understands the gravity of what she's saying to the unsuspecting idol here, she doesn't want to get carried away or come off the wrong way.
"It is fun. It's empowering, it's exciting, it's an amazing feeling to be desired by thousands of people. Some might call it narcissism, and honestly, I see why, and maybe it's that, I don't know. I don't believe so, anyway. It makes me feel sexy and a lot of people like it," Yuri smiles, "Besides, it's not a million miles away from being an idol."
"What?" Isa chokes on her drink.
"Come on. Half the reason we idols exist is for people's romantic or sexual fantasies. That's the reality of it all. And if men and women are going to touch themselves to your fancams Isa, you might as well start making them pay for it. Right?"
Yuri says her piece and then nudges you to let her out of the booth, while Isa sits in some cold contemplation. Nothing Yuri said is news to her, but it's not something she likes to think about. When fans adore you, you never consider all the implications. All Isa can think of now is herself on the internet, in magazines, and being undressed in fans' heads.
"Are you coming Isa?" Yuri asks, snapping her out of her trance.
"Oh, um, of course."
***
Somehow, returning to the studio went even worse than before the drinks, it soon became clear that Isa's head just wasn't in it and the producers grew frustrated. Yuri pulled you aside, saying it was probably time to call it quits for the day and try again next time Isa is freeâa message you passed to the recording staff and then the day soon wound down.
"Hey. It happens, she'll come through on the next recording. It's fine," Yuri assured you.
"But wasn't this just a one-day recording?" you reminded her.
"Well, now it's a two-day. You can schedule it, right? Talk to Isa's manager. We have time."
So that's exactly what you've been doing all afternoon, sitting in the corner of an otherwise empty conference room, exchanging e-mails back and forth with Isa's managers. Finally, it became a done deal, she could record the following afternoon. The session went well, much better than before, Isa seemed refreshed and put a lot into the recording. After that it was Yuri's idea to celebrate by eating out, something you wouldn't usually be expected to attend, but when Yuri makes up her mind to things, nothing changes it, so the three of you were booked at an upscale sushi restaurant, tucked away in the more expensive end of the city.
For a while, conversation remained outside of your concern, the two girls shared and compared interests as much as they discussed music and told fun stories of their times in their respective groups. Eventually, it led to Yuri doing what Yuri does best with her guests and put her foot on a figurative pedal and sped straight in the direction of 'confession-ville' by way of 'being forward-town'.
"It was a compliment, Isa. Really, it was."
"Mm. Sure." Isa mumbled.
Yuri sighed, rolling her head from side to side in playful annoyance as she poked the sashimi with her chopsticks. In hindsight, Isa made the right move by rejecting Yuri's praise about her beautiful, 'really, seriously, juicy' ass. Her refusal to accept it or flirt back only led Yuri to be even more blunt.
"People would spend a pretty penny to see that ass. I promise you."
She points a pair of chopsticks and the young star's backside, currently concealed beneath her jeans, you give Yuri a scathing, sideways glance. Isa, for her part, carries a rose tint to her cheeks and tries to hide by sipping water from her wine glass.
"Look Isa, let's call a spade a spade. The entire music industry, at the end of the day, no matter the genre, or who is producing, is based on your pretty face or your cute body, plain and simple. So what's the difference? Eh? What's the difference between wearing next to nothing up on stage while everyone ogles, and doing it for some faceless subscriber paying you money?"
Maybe it wasn't apparent before, but by this point you had it figured out, Yuri has been attempting to sway Isa into joining Yuri's personal brand of fanservice all evening. There was some back and forth, the two girls hammering out details, and then you sensed a shift. Isa has started to believe in what Yuri is selling and is starting to give Yuri a look that says; 'maybe, but I'm still a bit unsure.' Which in Yuri's terms means, 'one good point away from a yes.'
"The question I ask myself, as an idol, is who's really winning there?" Yuri sipped her glass of water while Isa stared on silently. "Because it sure ain't you."
Isa chewed the end of her straw. "So what, I just get naked, do what you do?"
"Yes." Yuri looked on excitedly. "Exactly! Just you, in a private space of your choosing, being exactly what you are. That's the beauty of it, Isa. You're in the driver's seat."
"I wouldn't know where to start," Isa mumbled.
"That's where we come in. Me and him." She hooked an arm around your own, squeezing it tightly. "All the prep, the setup, and little things he does. And I can walk you through the how and when for everything else."
"And how do I know people will even watch?"
"Well, I had an idea about that," Yuri lowered her tone slightly and looked at you from the corner of her eye as she revealed her plan. "We feature you in a few of my videos, then all my fans will want more of you."
Yuri made her move, and Isa's tiny little nods screamed 'yes' as clear as the day. Her face was a picture in thought until she drew her lip in her teeth and you and Yuri awaited her final word on the subject. Silence shrouded the table for what felt like an age when in reality, it must've only been a minute before the soft whispery voice finally said something.
"Okay. Let's say I'm interested. When do we start?"
***
It's three hours later and you're holding a camera with an affixed light and an adjustable tripod at Yuri's apartment, standing by the foot of the bed. As with any great shoot, Yuri spent an incredible amount of time playing dress-up with Isa, the two of them flirting and dancing and gushing at one another before finally you were allowed in the room to set up the shot. Isa's clothes have been swapped out for the shortest of short grey skirts, a white tank top and god-only-knows-what underneath. Isa has been instructed to sit on the bed, those long legs fully outstretched and crossed over, showing an incredible amount of thigh.
Yuri. The skirt is equally short. Bare legs, bare feet, bare stomach. Topless by the door in a little black bra. Leaning on the doorframe with a knowing and cocky smirk.
"Okay, let's roll, I'm going to do some poses, then we get a walking shot, and then I join Isa. You have a great eye for my angles, so I'm sure you'll do the same for Isa." Yuri explains it all, exactly how it's going to go down and all the scenes they're going to shoot. From this teaser all the way to the VIP stuff. Explicit in every detail while Isa's face goes through all manner of pink hues and bright flushes.
"You okay?" you ask her, and she gives a single, certain nod in return, but there's just a hint of nervousness there. You turn to Yuri and start the camera low. "Three, two, one."
Yuri pushes herself against the door frame and flaunts her legs, arching her back and rolling her hips a bit in a teasing little show. You frame everything below the waist as she continues to pose. She kicks out a foot for one of them and hooks a finger under the edge of her skirt for another, but never revealing it all. A few minutes of this and then you back up, for a shot of her strutting across the room. Her skirt bounces a little with each step.
Then once she makes it to the edge of the bed, you focus close on Yuri's hand, and track it to Isa's leg, fingertips gliding in little circles upon her knee before moving further and further up Isa's thigh, disappearing under her skirt. And cut. An introduction is done and then it's right into the next scene.
Yuri climbs onto the bed. Kissing, lots and lots of kissing. Yuri mounted over Isa, that's where you continue to frame them, waist down, leaving viewers wondering about the true act going on as their legs begin to tangle and the occasional hand reaches down to grab a handful of thigh.
Yuri calls a close to that shot and encourages Isa, "You're doing great. Let's go higher now, and keep our hands on each other's bodies. But don't take my bra off yet. Not for a while. Keep teasing." Then there are more kisses, giggling and muffled words, little laughs interspersed within their deep and wanting kisses, Yuri rolls Isa over her and you follow them down to the sheets. Yuri's hands slide up Isa's back, lifting her little white shirt.
Isa sits over Yuri, both of her hands above her head and showing off all of her curves. You stand beside the bed, recording everything from shoulder down, where the two bodies are in motion together and rolling against the bed. Hips grinding and seeking to gain friction, then moving in the opposite direction. Yuri is already panting and squealing in delight as she reaches up to feel Isa's tits.
It makes for one hell of a shot, that's for sure; one of those that drives you a bit crazy too. This girl is going to be a hit. There's no doubt about it.
Cut and onto the next scene. You place the camera by Yuri's head, giving a POV shot of Isa straddling the viewer. Those perky tits pushing against the shirt and those thick thighs crushing over Yuri's hips. Yuri reaches forward and slowly pulls up her white top. Inch by inch and the first sight of smooth flesh coming into view.
Up it goes, exposing the lines of her ribs, the soft mound of her belly, a cute dip between her waist, then as the shirt comes clear of her tits, they fall free. Two delicate little things looking so ready to be grabbed and sucked. The only thing obscuring a perfect shot is Yuri's two hands still playfully pushing and pulling on the small mounds. Isa joins her in caressing her own body for the camera.
She's a fucking natural.
Isa throws her shirt away and then there's the next shot. Off comes Yuri's bra too and they switch positions. Yuri presses herself against Isa and kisses her on the mouth as those hands continue to roam and touch and rub all over, seeking to bring a moan and a sigh. Hands keep roaming as you pan around the girls on the bed. It doesn't take Yuri long to shift her hands lower, groping for Isa's skirt and sliding it up her ass, her fingers grabbing at the bare cheek and gripping it, pulling her hips closer. That's the final show any standard subscriber will see.
"Okay, now we go for the premium stuff girls. Skirts off, lie side-by-side and hold each other. Underwear on for the time being."
"Hey, uh, it's good right?" Isa asks you for approval while she slips her little skirt down her long legs. "I don't look weird?"
"You look great, Isa." It's the truth and nothing but the truth. "Couldn't be hotter. Just enjoy it and follow Yuri's lead."
You take a minute to set up, while the girls get comfortable, taking the extended tripod and fitting it at the end of the bed and angling the camera down at them as they embrace. They rest in each other's arms, touching, and Yuri's leg is hooked over and between Isa's thighs. This shot is a voyeur's dream.
"Okay, Isa, Yuri is going to step it up a notch now, you okay with this? Or we can take a break ifâ"
"It's okay, I'm ready," Isa interrupts, much to the delight of Yuri.
"Can I be honest with you, Isa?" Yuri whispers low. "I'm like really turned on right now. Your skin feels amazing, your lips... god, your body..." She lets out a groan of approval. "This is actually getting me off."
"Don't..." Isa protests, laughing softly.
"It's true," Yuri breathes, you hear the gasp. "Even without the camera, I would love to do this."
"Why? What would you do to me?"
Yuri starts slow, hands feeling Isa's arms, her shoulders and neck, before sliding over her chest and down the shape of her waist. Your quick response is to hit the record button. Yuri grabs Isa's ass and pulls her roughly against her leg.
"I'd squeeze it like this," Yuri replies, smirking. "Make you feel me against you and do it even harder when I see that beautiful smile. Those gasps and little moans, yeah, they make me a bit crazy, and a whole lot wet."
"Do that again, please," Isa asks.
So Yuri does it. Dragging Isa against her thigh as Isa presses back, rocking their bodies, gasping softly as she does. There's no mistaking it, Isa's just as into this as Yuri is. Her expression is a gorgeous and sexy mixture of surprise and desire. Her lips slightly parted as she grinds herself down on Yuri. The tips of Isa's ears are blushing furiously and you imagine the fire is burning down the rest of her body.
"Feel that?" Yuri whispers. "Just a tiny little scrap of cloth between you and my thigh, I wish it wasn't there." She leans closer, a hair's breadth from pressing her lips to Isa's. "Just me, just you, just... naked flesh on naked flesh, mm?"
"And fingers," Isa mumbles. She closes the space, kissing Yuri with an unexpected ferocity. Tongues are tasted. Bodies are pulled tighter still and they press, skin and breasts, Yuri's leg lifts and Isa presses hard down onto it.
The more the girls entwine their limbs and rub their bodies together, the more intense their expressions become and their breathing grows louder, though they try and hide it, kissing and stealing their moans into each other's mouths. They move faster, Yuri taking control and forcing the motion of Isa's hips.
Yuri throws herself over Isa. Gripping Isa by the wrists and pinning them above her. Isa gives out an uncontrolled moan as her thighs wrap around Yuri's hips and pull her against her own, and she bucks herself against Yuri's lower half. Yuri holds both of her wrists in one hand and then pushes her other hand down between their bodies.
You're quick to set up another angle, to the side, in such a way as to watch as Yuri's hand disappears beneath the fabric of Isa's panties. Isa is loud, oh god is she loud. Her gasping, mewling, groaning cries echo out. This is all so foreign to you. Usually, you're the one over Yuri, digging your fingers into her cunt, whispering for her to cum as she moans in pleasure. But not this time, and boy are you enjoying this.
"Yes, like that." Isa throws her head back, her hair spilling about the pillow. "Deeper, make me... yes!"
And Yuri does, deeper and deeper, that little rhythmic pattern Isa makes with her body, those wild and shuddering movements and gaspsâall the things Yuri delights in causing in anotherâquickens and heightens in power. It doesn't take much longer before you know Isa's there. You've seen something so similar so many times on Yuri's face.
And the sweet release, it comes suddenly, violently even. Isa's wailing, high pitched and whimpering at the end of her screams. You capture everything from the neck down, Yuri's hand buried between Isa's quivering legs, her thighs still quaking and squeezing, her breasts pressed against Yuri as they kiss again, passionate, loving, lustful, full of a million words of satisfaction. Yuri runs her hand up Isa's trembling stomach, pulls a palm over her breast and squeezes.
Yuri and Isa separate at last, lying on the bed and breathing heavily. Yuri licks the cum off her fingers, a rare treat.
"Fuck, Yuri!" Isa pants, but then gives way to a fit of laughter, uncontrollable, adorable laughter.
Yuri props herself on an elbow and looks at her newly found muse with a sense of accomplishment, "Fun, right? And I've been getting messages for so long asking for me to record with another girl. This is perfect."
"That's going to be a hit, you know. That's real fan service," you admit and Yuri shoots you a smouldering glance of lust, or something else equally hungry. She's positively giddy with ideas and creativity for all the future videos these two could shoot.
"If you're going to do this though, Isa, there's one more test. You need to be able to take cock." Yuri is so blunt and Isa's head turns and her eyes lock onto yours, it seems so natural. That little smirk, and that quick flash of her eyes telling you to join her on the bed.
"His?" she asks Yuri, jerking her chin in your direction.
"Of course, who else? He fucks great," Yuri confirms, stretching her foot and lightly stroking the tent forming in your trousers with her toes.
Isa is just ready for anything, without so much as another word, she's slipping her thong down her legs, kicking it off and rolling over to present that great ass. This is Isa's true nature. Yuri sensed it early on, Isa just didn't believe in her ability to show it, not until Yuri put the words in her ear and stroked her inhibitions to reveal the beautiful creature hiding just below the surface.
Yuri has watched you undress many times over the past year, there's not an inch of your body, clothed or bared, that she does not know well and intimately. But she hasn't looked this excited while you do so since this all first began, her lips curve into a subtle, sexy smirk and she looks to Isa, still lying prone on her belly.
Yuri pulls and pokes at Isa's flesh. "Just look at this thing. Can't wait to get it on camera with his hips slapping it, watching it ripple. Your ass is made for being driven into the bed and fucked. Don't you agree?"
"So I'm told," Isa says with a sultry drawl. Yuri gives a nod and with her blessing, you touch the back of Isa's thigh, slip a knee to the mattress, and climb over her. Yuri takes hold of the camera, smiling mischievously as she adjusts it and points it at your groin, hard and aching to drive into Isa's waiting pussy.
You part her thighs just a little, enough to allow yourself entrance, just enough for Yuri to get the most incredible shot. One hand grips your dick at the base. You rub the tip over and between her, feeling the damp warmth as Isa shudders under your touch, and a quiet, pleading whimper escapes her lips.
"Okay. Nice and slow, yeah. She's so wet, trust me, you'll go right in." Yuri instructs.
You follow her lead, guiding the tip and pushing just a little. All of Isa's tension disappears when you slip inside. Warm, wet, wonderful and so satisfying.
Isa drops her head, eyes closed and moaning into the pillow. Her ass presses upwards to meet you in your first, tentative thrust.
"Fuck she's tight," you remark, biting your lip.
"Deeper. All the way. You want to bury it inside her."
In, filling her, your thighs pushing toward the plump and supple flesh of her cheeks. Her wetness tightens around your shaft and she shifts her body, settling down, pushing back until the pair of you meet in one exquisite motion and your crotch rests firmly on her ass.
"Fuck that's good..." You encourage her with a slew of compliments and each one makes her wetter, moans louder, and then a rhythm finds you and it's a beautiful, carnal beat that Yuri captures. Your hips churn, as they bump and push. A fast and strong stroke in a gentle rhythm with the clap of your body following suit.
Isa doesn't say a single word as your bodies connect in the sweetest way, speaking only through the sound of the impact upon the fleshy peach and how Isa's hands grab the pillows and she accepts your every thrust. But the steady flow of her moans fills the room, with cries and deep, low grunts.
"Are you getting this Yuri?"
"It's perfect, but I'm craving a little something too. No. Maybe a lot." Yuri looks on enviously.
"Set the tripod. Get in here." You pat the bed.
"Don't have to ask me twice," Yuri laughs while pulling down her panties and hurling them away.
Now it's just you and two incredibly sexy idols. It's Isa on the bottom, flipped onto her back and it's Yuri kneeling beside Isa's head and drawing a hand over the back of her head, fingers threading the hair, and coaxing Isa to the crux of her body. This will never make the cut, not with Isa's head in the frame, but Yuri's pleasure, her sounds, you will relish seeing later on a screen and storing in memory.
"Is thatâ?" Isa doesn't manage much beyond that before Yuri's skin meets her mouth and all of a sudden she's down there, lips, tongue, and fingers, taking Yuri to heaven and back.
"That's it! Like that!" Yuri mewls and arches her back, free hand seeking the wall behind her headboard as her entire body locks into position. The thing you can always guarantee about Yuri is how vocal she will be during sex. You've rarely known her to be silent through an orgasm and she chases each one like it's the last. "I need to be fucked. Like right now," Yuri gasps. "You, I need you," she demands, looking directly at you, and that's really not a problem.
"On your back," you command, withdrawing from Isa with a sigh. Yuri pulls from Isa's mouth, leaving her sweet desire on her lips.
Yuri drops to the sheets by Isa's side and spreads her legs. Yuri beckons with her fingers for you to move closer and once you're above her, she guides you right in. Raw. Wet. Tight. You sink into Yuri's velvet cunt like it's home. Familiar and erotic, as if this pussy was tailor-made to please your cock.
It doesn't take much, Isa has barely climbed from the comfort of her submission to look at the two of you, and Yuri is cumming. Eyes tight shut and she locks her heels behind your ass, and she shouts, "Oh shit! Yeah, right there!"
And from then on it's scene after scene, you fuck Yuri in every way you've fucked her before and do the same a second time over with Isa. Three bodies tangled and moving. Yuri cums another six times that evening. Isa reaches four. A standout is when it's her turn to drive her hips down on top of you, her arms thrown behind her head as she rises and falls, her tits jiggling and your fingers driving her. She fell forward, pinning you to the sheets, riding your cock and gasping into your ear with each roll of her ass.
"So close," Isa managed to rasp. You locked your hands on her hips to fuck up into her and Yuri lost her shit.
"Her ass is so fucking hot!" Yuri yells, "Fuck her harder, make her cum!"
And, finally, Isa buried her teeth in your shoulder, a powerful and silent moan rattling from her lips. She shook wildly and her entire body, from her head, right down to her toes, twitched and shuddered uncontrollably as her orgasm crashed into her.
Then she slid away from you with a content sigh, lying breathless at your side, stroking the warm skin of your chest as Yuri replaced Isa.
"We're fucking crazy, you know that, right?" Yuri said with a laugh as you entered her once more. It was a repeat, a complete mirroring of how Isa rode you. Except that as she came you really got to slam Yuri, she loved the fast strokes, and you held her suspended over you, hips snapping into her while she moaned and shouted about how much she loved it.
And then there was the finish, Yuri got it all so perfectly on camera. She clung onto the back of you, holding the camera by your shoulder and placing her head on the other. And she enjoyed it all as much as you did. Isa on all fours, her ass waiting for a load as Yuri and thousands of others watched on. It was, without doubt, the best of all scenes. You hammered her from behind. Sweat dripping. Moans soaring. The crack of her firm flesh over and over.
And then when you couldn't take it anymore, you pulled out and jerked yourself until streams of your cum painted her cheeks and ass. "Wear it proud, honey," Yuri encouraged with her satisfied tone.
Isa does. Smiling, even giggling as it trickles down her flawless cheek. You'll come to enjoy this scene many times over, she's naturally expressive, and so very seductive without ever knowing.
"How was I?" Isa whispers, looking you in the eye.
"Perfect, if this doesn't make you a star then nothing will."
"He's not wrong, you know," Yuri adds, and a look of bliss falls upon the newcomer. "I would pay to see it myself."
Tags: post-gangbang-unclarity, a fuckton of cum, the biggest creampies you can imagine, sluttiest_woman_ever!Gaeul, riding, reverse cowgirl, mating press, cumming again, surprisingly sweet
TW: nasty, a lot of cum by different people
Credit: @friskyriskywhisky had the idea and wrote most of it, I just expanded it as far as I could. Maybe there will be more Gangbang Queen stuff, but this was basically just a double BFH lol
(A/N: Have fun with this crazy, short piece!)
âI want one moreâŠâ
Gaeul lies on her nasty bed, which is not only the size of a New York apartment room but also a lot more comfortable. The fresh evidence of sin is all over the once royal pink bedsheet befitting of a princess, a queen to be more accurate. Her comically large pillow is full of wet fingerprints, there are even hints of Gaeul bending over it because she loves it when men penetrate her from behind and fuck her into the soft thing. The headboard and the walls nearby are all smeared with her own slick and the cum from the dozen of guys who unloaded a week's worth and then some for her, on her, because of her. Who knows how much genetic coding is now dripping down those walls, or the side of her bed or along her thighs.
Either way, Gaeul knows that the pungent creampie of hers only feels this good because at least ten horny men put their spunk deep into her cunt. Be it fat cocks, long ones, small, smelly, oddly shapedâGaeul takes them all and her insides shape to each accordingly. For the horde of cocks itâs an incredible feeling with a surprising snugness, while Gaeul yearns and shouts (as long as there is no shaft testing her gag reflex) for them to finish quickly and deep. Though a marvelous feeling, she is never satisfied. She needs one more, she doesnât even care if itâs the tiniest rest or a gigantic, creamy loadâall that matters is that he cums inside her.
Gaeulâs once-animated and sex-crazed sexual partners have either left or completely passed out on the floor next to her bedâexcept lucky you, the only one lying naked next to her. Lucky you, who she now eyes, admiring your features while you're half asleep. She crawls over and gently flips you onto your back, stirring you awake in the process.
In your state of extreme grogginess, you aren't able to tell at first if you're being eaten alive or attacked by a savage animal. Just when your fight or flight response springs into action, a pair of lips press against yours. They instantly calm you down like a mothers embrace after a lucid nightmare. You can't help but smile unconsciously at how gentle it feels. Gaeulâs floral-scented shampoo reassures you who's currently kissing you, her touchy, wet and tender fingers reminding you of the first time she checked out your bodyâŠ
It was a rainy night in one of the many underground bars in Seoulâthe type of bar that makes you raise an eyebrow at first, someone with connections has recommended it, looks suspicious; then you fell into the trap of fun conversations and nice liquor that ultimately led to a selection ceremony. This was the moment you realized why this was not a commonly visited place.
Everyone went silent at her entry. Gaeul, the well-known (at least for most people that regularly visit these exclusive bars) gangbang queen was craving men tonight, many men. She was not picky, in fact, there was only one condition you had to fulfill:
âThree days worth of cum. If you had sex or jerked off during the last three days, youâre out for tonight.â
No one dared to defy her or lie to her. She diligently checked everyoneâs balls and was extremely thorough, especially with you, who she gently pushed against a bar stool, hand past your waistband. Your breath hitched, hers too when her slender fingers caressed your balls.
âTall, hornyâand at least ten days of cum.
âIâd love for you to join the after party in my pink bed.â
Thatâs how Gaeul found you, touched you, lured you in and turned you on, like she does at this momentâŠ
It's been minutes now, with no signs of stopping or letting go from Gaeul, her lips still fully attached to yours just to occasionally back off and peck at it again. The last remnants of a dream that could never match this disappear. They are replaced by memories that slowly creep back and your heart drops. You remember what happened not long ago, right on these pink sheetsâdonât lie to yourself, you know it happens every other night.
Those soft lips of hers were satisfying other men not too long ago, fully enveloped around shafts of different shapes and sizes. That tongue of hers glided across the cockhead of multiple partners and made sure that no spot on their balls was left out. She would fill her mouth with as much manly musk and precum as she could before her throat was getting assaulted by who knows how many cocks, endlessly coating the back of it with thick cum and forcing her to gag and cry, which everyone knows is a huge turn on for the gangbang queen.
Itâs those lips that form a seal around yours and itâs that mouth you attack lazily with your tongue.
Who are you to complain though? Gaeul is the greatest kisser your lips have ever met. Your obsession with her took control of your life even though you had no chance with her. You're just a nobody when Gaeul is the well-beloved queen. The gangbang queen - for those close enough to be her little circle filled with lust and desire. Yet somehow you saw a chance and took it, even if it means taking sloppy seconds (or thirds? Fifths? Wait, how many guys are here again?).
Your mind snaps back to the present when you feel your cock poking at her entrance. Hang on, did she evenâfuck! You shiver in both pleasure and disgust. You're plunged into her sloppy cunt, extremely tight, even after being abused by multiple men (some girthier than the ridiculous sex toys she has in her collection).Â
Gaeulâs walls hug your tip first, then slowly adjust to your size, like they have become your personal sexy toy. The pleasure really kicks in when the gangbang queen puts your hands on her hips and adds your name into the mixture of huffs and moans. Her incredibly damp cavern and how slippery her whole crotch is against your own, it displays a reality you don't want to admit: You're fucking Gaeul through the creampie of other men. Using the foreign substance as a sticky wannabe lube as you slowly ramp up your pace, you're thinking with your other head only; thatâs not an uncommon occurrence with the gangbang queen around.Â
Sex with her has you drunk, dazed, carelessly chasing your own high. You want to be the only one to have your load inside of her cunt. Gaeul yearns for breeding, and the sperm of all the other disgusting men, still unconscious in this room is deemed not enough. At this moment you decide to fuck the creampie out of her and replace it with your own.
You're frantically thrusting in and out of her, she replicates your passion as she rides you. Heaps of old cum get forced out with the assistance of gravity but mainly due to the pump that is your cock and the endless pumping into her cunt. Gaeul switches to a reverse cowgirl position and it's only now that you notice that her ass got absolutely filled as well.Â
This should not be a surprise, she is the gangbang queen after all, yet you want to look away. This is exclusively other men's cum leaking out of Gaeul and onto your abs. It feels extremely wrong, fucking filthy and somewhat gross. The eagerness of the girl on your dick makes you forget that though. For a short while, you just admire her back, her small, shapely ass and the way her moans are in perfect harmony with the sound of flesh hitting flesh and cum being squeezed out.Â
With your whole cock still buried inside her, bottoming her out, you two clumsily get into a mating press position. Gaeul is the most flexible girl you know, her small frame easily capable of folding and bending into every position you want. This position quickly becomes your favorite, because you donât have to see her leaking asshole anymore, but you know that she is gaping and the worthless spunk steadily leaves her anal cavity.Â
Every time you thrust into her, you see and feel her whole ass and thighs ripple. Shock waves across the smooth, stretched, spotless skin gets sent in all kinds of directions because you dig your hands into it. There's still a disgusting amount of cum defying gravity, defying your forceful pounding into Gaeul, but you are sure that if you just keep on fucking her, and press her whole body into the mattress, the petite gangbang queen will leak out all the rest. Through the lewdest of sounds and a clear lack of stamina, the thought of Gaeul filled with nothing but you pushes you through.
You feel the knot inside you loosen, strings and little last spurts of cum hitting her cervix as your tip is right up against it. Gaeul has her feet right up against your back, her heels pulling you deeper inside her. She's still rutting against you, her clit drawing circles against your crotch enjoying the friction and satisfaction it brings. The art of the orgasm, Gaeul has mastered it. In her scream, you find an infinite sea of bliss. It draws out your orgasm a few more seconds; perfect seconds.
Post-nut clarity kicks in and you try to block out the other people who are regaining consciousness in the room. Witness how ethereal her beauty is under the ceiling light. You want to kiss her. You want to tell her how much you love her. However, the harsh reality kicks in harder than the post-nut clarity as she shifts her gaze away from you and looks at the time. You close your eyes, take a deep breath to cherish just how fucking good her cock-warming cavern is.Â
You pull away, unfazed at the mess in front of you at this point. Party time is over and youâre victorious but defeated, a bit deflated even. Why is the girl youâre falling for the wrong type of queen?Â
"Hey..." Gaeul reaches out and grabs your forearm and pulls you a little closer to give you one last peck on your cheek. "Drive safely, okay?â Her fingers tiptoe towards your hand until it reaches the back of your it, her thumb gently rubs circles on it. A new level of intimacy that makes your heart stutter. âMessage me when youâre back home."
One must admire your monkish habits: your devotion to a closed loop of domestic stations that lead nowhere and end at the beginning. Your legs still carry you because your body remembers what the soul has abandoned; and the body, unlike the soul, does not require reasons.
The lacquer smudged into the wood floor beside the bed in an accident you no longer remembered the circumstances of but you had once, in the early months, tried to scrape away with a butter knife before stopping midway through in a kind of dismal un-moving horror, a revulsion at your own hands, at the efficiency of how a body can remove totems she left behind.
The remaining smudge was half-removed and half-preserved and, like an argument, interrupted and never resolved - which in this case was better than resolving: you can remember, everyday, that lacquer, her favorite lacquer.Â
The closet was the next totem. You opened it and stood inside the frame of it - because it wasnât luxuriant enough to be walk-in, just frame-in - and breathed. It was lavender and coffee, still. Still! It was fading, but you did the load-bearing mechanics of making sure the air outside and the air inside donât mingle. Of course, these load-bearing mechanics were keep-sake insurances of making sure you donât give way in the closet and weep with her fabric stippled to your face. [1]
[1] Which had happened, more than once.
Sheâd sold most of her clothes in secret to pay for the treatments. The remaining few hung like survivors at a reunion where most are gone. [2]
[2] Like the year-ends of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meetings, the remaining few with hair barely attached to their scalps. Of women and men alike - all red-eyed - sobriety takes a toll as any other substance.
In the kitchen remains her broken plates. She had broken them on the infirm day of ârealizingâ, âdawningâ, that this wasnât ordinary - her arms just gave way. You kept them the way you kept everything she left: totally indiscriminate. Everything in the same place as she left them; if you begin forgetting, let there be totems.
The tupperware she left in the fridge. Her last meal, the one she couldnât finish, still inside, and you opened the fridge and looked at it every morning. No mold and no smell. You did not believe in signs but you didnât throw it out either, and in it lies the difference: a territory of half-belief half-not so all-consuming that entire religions were founded, and you, a man who read the entire discouraging bibliography of Western Thoughtâą on the subject of death and its aftermath, could not place yourself with any confidence. The tupperware was simply there and that was that - to adjudicate.
Beyond totems, a coworker had recommended Vietnamese coffee on account of your comments on low energy (his recommendation goes: âThis will fuck you up. Seriously, for cardiac events only.â And thatâs all you needed, really.)Â
Of course: it did nothing. You drank the bitter of it at the counter, standing and not sitting at the table for two. The whole emotional calculus of sitting on the table for two was exhausting and destructive so you opted to just stand. It wouldâve made her laugh, this blunt solution.
She had a laugh that involved her whole body, a laugh that bent her forward at the waist and put her hand on whatever was nearest - your knee, your stomach, your shoulder, your forearm. And because the laugh was like that, it conscripted you - you joined her to laugh at whatever. Her laugh was the last thing you heard in your head at night. It remained itself, unlike the perfect song which eventually dis-morphs and degrades. And this was either a mercy or a cruelty that you couldnât decide on. Her whisker-touched smile still lives in your mind endlessly.Â
You drove across town to see her. It was muscle memory, this track. Like it were on rails or those toy trains that you had to pull off the track just to keep them from moving in that particular way. Past the elementary school where someone had misspelled CONGRATULASHIONS on a banner that no one had removed.
And this was a fact that you and her talked extensively about. Like the âwicked bibleâ, in which the word 'not' was omitted from the seventh commandment: âThou shalt commit adultery.â The printers were fined and most copies were destroyed. She laughed about this extensively, her hand was on your belly so you laughed about it too.
Past the Presbyterian church whose sign read GOD'S LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL but whose parking lot was gated and locked on weekdays, a contradiction you had pointed out to her once in the passenger seat and she had laughed, that laugh, bending forward, her hand on your knee, and you would give anything, anything, your hands, your degrees, the entire corpus and every footnote you'd ever written about it, for that laugh, for the fact of her diaphragm contracting, for the air that came out of her and hit the dashboard and fogged it for a half-second in January, proof of breath, proof of life.
The cemetery was simple. It had none of the Baroque funerary elements, the weeping angels and obelisks and mausoleums built on the scale of modern-age buildings, that the Europeans enjoy as architectural entitlement. Someone with a worn-down clipboard sketching his children had designated it (it was a simple flat land) for the storage of the dead, and the dead, being dead, had not objected.
In all honesty, it was a fairyland. The grass moved in a single direction, always shimmering. Just the light, the grass and the quiet.
You brushed the night dust off the stone with your palm. You rearranged some flowers the strong wind had shifted.
âHinton,â you said.
The bird - a handsome blue jay - on the branch above you tweeted. It was probably experiencing zero spiritual continuity with your dead wife. It wanted seeds or it wanted a different branch.
âHe got drunk at his own birthday. Classic. John and I set up this surprise for him, collectorâs editions of the board games he plays - you know Hinton, the way he is about board games, the obsessive joy - you wouldâve said we spoiled him.â
You pulled up a blade of grass. Split it down the center with your thumbnail.
âI drove him home and he went into one of his drunk rambles - he was like: âyouâre the best friend ever, and Iâm sorry for being such an unreliable junior. Please forgive me.â It was a whole thingâŠâ you showed a grin, âIâll talk to him today. Heâll probably hide from me in the breakroom like last time.â
'Anyway.' You brushed the grass off your palms. 'I'm trying. You told me to move on so I'm - I don't know. I'm moving somewhere. Not sure it's somewhere good, probably more like moving around⊠but I'm moving.'
You touched the top of the gravestone. 'I'll come back Thursday. Same time.'
You stood, took one look at the grassland - the blades still synchronized, leaning east - and walked back to the car.
-
Work.[1]
[1] Where, among other things, you are technically required to sit in a chair that a facilities team selected from a catalog in that has never been comfortable for anyone, and where the same three people microwave the same fish every Thursday, where your manager sends emails at midnight with the subject line 'Quick thought' that are never quick and never just one thought and are torture-like-borrowed-from-Hubei-province. You survive this, and you survive managers.
After work you made the familiar turn away from home opposite your home. Toward a bar with no legible sign, or a sign so rain-damaged it had become a Rorschach test. You saw Reilly's. Hinton swore it was Kelly's. The barkeep, when asked, said:
It didn't matter.Â
You parked a short distance away. There was parking closer, by the trees, but you liked to walk. Taste the town air. Let the breeze move through your hair, down your back.
The bell above the door rung, the barkeep nodded, and a few regulars glanced your way, grinning, throttled by their own worries.
You ordered some beer. Grabbed a napkin to fold into disarray and disfigure.
An unfamiliar face on the stool next to you. A girl. Beautiful, but that's not what you noticed first. What you noticed was that she sat down like someone who'd been walking a long time - this tired huff of a person without energy.
'Vodka with Coke Zero,' she said to the barkeep.
Coke Zero?
Not even a real Coke with vodka? She's cutting sugar on a vodka coke. She wants to get drunk but she doesn't want the calories. Or she wants to get drunk and wants to taste nothing while she does it. Or, and this thought arrived without permission: somebody had trained her, at some point, to read everything that entered her body at the molecular level. Just a hunch.
'It's something I developed early on,' she said. Not to you exactly, to the irreverent watchers in the void.
'People give a side eye - or cant help it - when I order it.' She turned now. 'I just like to explain myself.'
'Right.' You took a sip. 'So what brings you here. This is a mid-career panicked people's gathering zone.' You offer the appeal of a bar in layman's terms.
'My career is over.' She picked up her glass when it arrived. Held it but didn't drink, more like staring into it, just a hint off the color of cola. 'I'm arguably deeper into it than you are.' A slight grin from her.
You offered one back. A smaller, more defiant one.
The ambience filled the space between you: it was quiet for a while, someone fed the jukebox, someone else laughed too loud at nothing.
'I like hearing stories,' she said.
'Hm?'
'Tell me a story. I came to this bar for a reason.'
'For stories.' You reply, unmoved.
'Yeah. You 'mid-career panicked people' (air-quotes) have the best ones.'
'What, you want me to tell you about my office life? My daily wars with the printer?'
'Come on.' She took a sip now. Finally. 'You know what I'm talking about. Drink more beer and talk to me.' She set her glass down. 'You people and your privacy. Hmph.'
You took a longer sip this time. Set the glass down. Looked at the counter, at the grain of the wood.
-
A decade ago and then some, when you were around 17, you were an intern at the local konbini, working the register. It was an old town and you needed cash to see your friends. The town was what it was: old people getting older. The days of today no different from the days of then.
You helped old people, mostly. They couldn't see a meter ahead. They moved as slow as weather.
Your manager worked the back. Drank, smoked, handled storage. He stayed out of everyone's way and everyone stayed out of his. Another clerk worked beside you, a much older man who was, from the outset, cruel. Someone who had hardened into meanness the way a bone sets wrong after a bad fracture.
Once, a boy came into the store. Clothes dirty. Hair past his ears, tangled. He went to the middle aisle, the half-priced day-old section, and picked up some food. His sleight of hand was poor. You could see his wrist dip toward his pocket.
He was stealing.
But it was out of the clerk's line of sight. And you didn't say anything. [1]
[1] You must add that this was a period of great ideological upheaval in your life. You were exposed to a greater array of people, cultures, ideas. And the idea of a small boy fending for himself by stealing out of the day-old section was the just the idea that seemed to be your way of "fighting the system".
He paid for the items outside his pocket and left (a common way of pretending you were there for those specific - barely a dollar in total - items).
This became routine, he showed up regularly, but the cash he carried seemed to thin each time. The bills more run-down. The coins fewer.
By then you'd been dating your wife for about a month. When she heard the story, her heart broke at the possibilities. A world that excluded children in need. And without needing to think much about it, she intervened.
She followed him. Found where he lived: a run-down apartment complex. Other children running in and out through a side entrance. That was all the information she could gather that day.
Then one day, one horrible day, you couldn't block the clerk's view. The boy pocketed something and the clerk saw it happen. He jumped the counter and tackled the boy. Yelling, furious, but not punching - for what it was worth.
The clerk had his arms wrenched behind his back. You don't remember the order of things. Adrenaline had eaten the sequence. Somehow you got the clerk off and took the boy.
And then the boy told you everything.
He was living with his brother and sisters in an apartment with no lighting, no heating, no anything - they weren't old enough to actually pay the utilities. Their mother had been a sex worker who got pregnant one too many times; but had changed her life, yet the reputational damage in patriarchal Japan was too deep. No employer would take the chance, she moved across the country to find work. Labor, service, anything.
For a while she sent money; envelopes, sometimes just bills folded into notebook paper. The boy used it to take care of his family. He told you he'd bought a small piano for his older sister. She'd been saving for one. A really small one.
Then the envelopes stopped coming in and the worst case scenario came to fruition: disappearance.
You thought about jail. Too many things had gone wrong in sequence. Day after day, one thing after another.
You offered help - money, groceries⊠even adoption - he refused.
The only thing he accepted: you'd leave food at the back door of the konbini. So that's what you did. Every shift, you told the manager you were clearing old inventory. It was almost always perfectly fine food, just a day past its label. You collected a bag and brought it to the back door. He'd be there. You set the bag down. He picked it up. Neither of you said much.
She hadn't interrupted once. Her glass was half-empty. She hadn't touched it since you'd started.
One day their entire family came into the store. You saw them through the automatic doors. A small procession, close together. The boy, his brother, his sisters. And next to him a girl, slightly older, slightly more composed. She didn't look like she lived with the rest. She had jewelry on, a heavy bag that etched its weight on to the shoulders of her clothes.
Only the boy and the girl went into the aisles. A minute later he came to the register carrying at least a dozen boxes of strawberry Pocky. The chocolate-covered kind. He set them on the counter one at a time carefully.
The girl paid. She had the money folded in her palm. She'd been holding it the whole time. You didn't understand yet.
Weeks later you pieced it together. From fragments. From neighbors in the complex. From absence:Â
The smallest sister had died. You never learned how. After that it was no longer possible for them to go on as they were. They would all dissolve into the orphanage system they once escaped from. An abandoned family whose only structure was proximity, whose only comfort was staying together, had been broken from the inside.
The Pocky was their final meal together. A dozen boxes of strawberry Pocky, paid for by the older girl who wasn't even in their family. [2]
[2] An artificially produced box of chocolate-covered biscuits that is a snack for most was an unfathomable luxury to them.
And that was the humble goodbye.
The apartment was empty, the nearby vicinity that you and your girlfriend spent hours carefully observing was also empty.
But he left you something. Because he couldn't read, he couldn't write a letter. What he left was a note card. Their family tree, not larger than a few lines. It traced back only to their great-grandfather. It was provided by the government. You could tell by the creases, he'd been carrying it a long time.
-
You looked at her. She hadn't moved, two thin lines ran from her eyes past her jaw, dried partway from not wiping, leaving faint salt tracks on her skin.
'That's⊠heartbreaking.'
You reached into your coat pocket and fished out your wallet. Some maneuvering later you slid the note card onto the bar, his family lineage in ink, names he couldn't read of people who were permanent. You had laminated it years ago but the edges had gone to that opaque whiteness that laminated things get when the plastic starts to give. Then you pulled out a small box of chocolate-almond Pocky.
'Since you extracted my best material,' you said, tapping the box, 'I'm making you eat this.'
She let out a breathless laugh with closed eyes and more water pushed to her eyelashes. She grabbed a cocktail napkin and dipped the corner to her eyes, makeup still fine, and hitched her stool a little closer and pulled a stick from the foil.
'Not the strawberry?'
'They were out today, I made do.'
You tipped a biscuit into your mouth, she ate hers in two quick bites.
'And no signs?' she asked after a while, looking at the ceiling, blinking too much. 'Nothing from them since?'
'Nothing. They vanished into the system, the place they spent their entire time running from.'
You took another sip from the beer. The chocolate and the almonds mixed with the hops - terrible combination but it grounds you.
You traced the handle of the mug. 'So, your turn, give me something.'
She sat up and started tearing the napkin into strips. 'You know what's embarrassing? You'd think I'd have a vault. I aggressively interrogate every stranger I sit next to. I'm a parasite. But my own life?' She shook her head. 'Barren.'
'I don't believe you.'
'It's true! My little sister can't stand me because I spent my sensitive years scolding her instead of being a human being. And I've been trying to fix it by buying her favorite salt bread every time I see her and she still treats me like I'm collecting a debt, which, okay, fair. I have a degree in media and communications from NYU. I buy hand creams that cost too much. That's it, that's the whole person, fully accounted for.'
'I wholly reject that.'
'Reject away. I'm twenty seven years old and my biography fits on the back of a receipt.' She sighed. 'My life hasn't happened yet.' She tilted her head and squinted at you. 'Yours clearly has. You've already gone grey.'
'I have not gone grey.'
'You have. There.' She pointed at a spot above your ear.
'That is the lighting in this bar, which, as we've established, is terrible.'
'It's not the lighting.' She pulled out her phone and flipped the camera and held it up to your face with the prosecutorial confidence of someone presenting exhibit A. 'Look at that - right there - look at it.'
You looked. There it was.
'Forensic evidence.' She said.
'You're dismantling me.'
'How old are you?'
'Thirty.'
'Thirty⊠huh.'
'What does huh mean.'
'It's paradoxical. You have grey hair but you're -' She put the phone away and looked at you properly. 'You're conventionally⊠attractive - which I realize is a weird qualifier.'
'It's a hell of a qualifier. Conventionally attractive. I haven't heard anything like that in years.'
You turned forward and leaned into the bar and took a long sip.
'Don't let that be the case,' she said.
-
'So,' Gawon said.
'So.'
'What about your wife?'
The jukebox switched tracks and the bassline rattled up through the wood of the bar into your forearms.
'She's not around.'
She stopped tracing her glass. 'I pry too much. I'm sorry.'
'She died,' you said. 'Two years ago. She was sick for a long time before that, years, and then the doctors gave her two years and she died in two years. No miraculous survival. A cruel linear fate, if you will.'
She didn't say anything. She picked up one of the napkin strips she'd been tearing and folded it in half, then in half again, pressing the crease with her thumbnail.
'People always want to know about the end,' you said. 'Like if they know how it ended they can file it and move on. But the part that stays with you is the middle. The eighteen months where she was still walking around and eating cereal and making fun of me for how I loaded the dishwasher, except now there was this calendar behind everything.'
'What do you mean?'
'I mean she did the same things but they had dates on them now. She'd hold a mug of coffee and I'd think: she's holding a mug of coffee and she has fourteen months left. She'd fall asleep on the couch with the TV on and I'd carry her to bed and I'd think the number; every time, the number was always in the room.'
Gawon had stopped folding, the strip of napkin was between her thumb and finger, half-creased.
'What was her name?' A flash went across her eyes, realizing some etiquette she'd crossed, 'Sorry, it's instinct.'
'Jiwoo. And she was sick.'
'You're very precise about it.'
'I've had practice. People ask, and you develop a version that has the most information density.'
'Is this the optimized version?'
'The long one takes two years. This one, maybe twenty words or so. True distillation.'
She laughed, then didn't, and the not-laughing was louder than the laughing. She set the napkin strips parallel to each other on the bar, a small row of them, evenly spaced.
'I had a tape recorder when I was nine. I walked around recording everything. I thought if I collected enough of the world it'd make sense to me.'
'And it never made sense,' you finish her sentence.
'I'm twenty-seven and I'm stillâŠ'
'At least you upgraded to interrogating strangers in person.'
'Lateral move at best.' She bunched up the strips and balled them together neatly.
'You're not a parasite,' you said. Because you could see her thinking it.
She blinked, 'What?'
'The self-loathing. I can smell it in the air. You sit down next to a stranger and call yourself a story vampire and probably a myriad of things less-vocalized. But you're a good listener, among other things.'
'That's -' she started.
'And you're disgustingly educated.' You pause, 'Meant to be a good thing.'
'I know.' She was turning the balled napkin around in her fingers, this tight little sphere.
Then she set the napkin ball on the bar and pushed it a few inches toward you, this little offering, and left her hand there.
You looked at the napkin ball, and then at her hand resting next to it on the wood, and then you put your hand next to hers. Close enough that the sides of your pinkies were almost touching, this near-miss of contact, and neither of you closed the gap. Her fingers were cold from holding her dead vodka for the last hour and yours were warm from the glass and you could feel the difference in temperature without touching.
She closed it - her fingers on the knuckles of your hand.
You looked at her hand on your hand and then up at her face. She had been turning toward you in degrees all evening, a few degrees after the konbini story, a few more after the Pocky, and now the rotation was complete, the full face, and the full face was the one that should've garnered millions of fans, should've been plastered across billboards and the like: the strong jaw and the enormous eyes and the honey skin and it couldn't be undone by a coat collar any more than it could be undone by an ocean.
You looked at her and she looked at you, and whatever was happening in that look went on for a period of time that you would not be able to report accurately to anyone afterward, and you thought about leaning forward, and you could see that she was thinking about the same thing.
She jerked her hand back. Some uncomfortable ring in the air, suddenly exposed.
'I'm -' she cleared her throat, suddenly hyper-aware, the men arguing behind you, the clinks of pints, blush-full. She grabbed her phone on the counter, the screen lighting up in that unforgiving white, her eyes crumpling just a tad. 'It's late. I should go. I have a⊠thing.'
'Right.' The cold rushed back to fill the space. You slipped your hand back into your coat pocket. 'A thing.'
'It was nice meeting you.' She was already standing, shrugging her bag onto her shoulder, tossing a crumpled twenty-dollar bill onto the bar. She didn't look you in the eye. Couldn't.
You paid the tab and tipped the barkeep with the $20 she left. You drove back home, never did your steering wheel feel so damn cold.
-
A few days pass in anticlimactic routine: the smudges and scraps left behind by your wife; the boring morning routine, without fail: scrambled eggs more rubbery than anything else, tie that pulls your collar a smudge too tight, a burgeoning rash that becomes the bane of your day; the boring drive there and fro; but there lived a single thought: her. Just her in your mind. A human mind suffering nothing tastes something and it's in a death spiral: her and her and her smudged all over your mind.
By lunch, you catch yourself rewinding a moment: the way her thin fingers held your beer mug, how it slanted just a bit due to the weight of it in her enclosed fist. You shake it off. By dinner, it's back: her big eyes staring right into you, her praline lips slightly coloring the edge of the mug. By the end of the day you're not thinking about her so much as you're failing to think about literally anything else.
A distinction that drives you delirious in-place.
But as things go, she'll become as boring as the rest of your routine - her lip smears, her eyes, her jaws, they'll all be as old as yesteryear's yesterday!
Three weeks pass like this, in this paradoxical anticipatory cluster-fuck that your life's turned into. Your eyes flit towards nooks she may reside in, crannies where she could be wandering. No luck.
The bar's on the radar now, standard Friday protocol, your life's out of balance and yet your routine never flails. You park by the tree, cram your keys in your pockets (this you never used to do, cram everything in anything and find yourself a minute or two earlier than routine.)
The bell rings and the familiar air surrounds you. You pass into the sunken floor, and sit on the cushioned seat that you adjust a few levels lower (even lowering your seat reminds you of her, how she sat a few levels higher on the chair. You sipped beer and looked at the chair for a good half-hour after she left.)
The barkeep set a beer in front of you without asking. You held it and looked at the toothpick cylinder that seemed to never finish (or be used), the steady lines ingrained into the table -
'Hey. Where's the lass?' You look up and the barkeep's looking at you, towel in hand cleaning the inside of a large mug.
'Sorry?'
Where's the lass? He repeated again - a bar's a deceivingly loud place, not a sensory deprivation tank but a sensory deprivation furnace.
'She's gone. I mean - I don't really know.'
'Pity,' he held the mug to the light, squinted, resumed wiping. 'She was a good tipper; we don't get good tippers 'round here.' He looked pointedly at your coat. 'I take a peek of your pockets and it's as if there's nothing there at all.'
You offered a laugh, 'That actually begs the question: have you seen her around here?'
'Sure did -'
'When?' The words come out rushed.
'Two weeks ago. Around that timeframe.' He set the mug down, inverted it on the rubber mat. 'I see too many faces to pin it exactly. She was here -' He pointed at the stool she'd sat on, the one next to yours, and for a second the gesture made the empty seat worse. 'Drank some beer. Left it half-full.' He put his hand on his chest. 'Now that really broke my heart, I'll tell you.'
'She left it half-full?'
'Half a perfectly good pint. Just sitting there. I nearly held a funeral.' He picked up another glass. 'And she left fifty as tip.'
'Fifty?'
'Fifty.' He said it with the quiet satisfaction of a man recounting a religious experience.
'It's what I deserve serving you tight-pocketed bastards.' He belly laughs this time.
You grin back. Then: 'how was she?'
'Looked great. Bloody supermodel, everyone's taking a look at her. Respectfully, of course.' He paused. 'Respectfully-adjacent. This is still a bar.'
'Right.'
'Funny thing.' He leaned on the counter, thick forearms plodding on the table, 'she asked about you.'
Your eyebrows jump, mouth turning into a line. 'She asked about me.'
The barkeep continued, 'I told her your routine, when you come and all the details - probably what you wanted anyway.'
'Yet you haven't seen her since?'
'Nope.' He picked up the towel, folded it - halved, halved again. 'Gone.'
He moved down the bar toward a regular whose glass had been empty long enough to warrant a grievance. You stayed on your stool, traced the mug, let the seat beside you, the one raised a few levels higher, stay in your vision.
It drives you beyond crazy.
--
Saturday. You woke up into the natural circuit: lacquer, closet, plates, then the fridge.
You opened the closet this time. The lavender was almost gone.
Reading. You leaned into the soft leather couch, just worn in enough. You held the spine of a large book, slightly giving way, crusty from the glue that didn't set properly, a certain charm you enjoyed. You flipped pages, the smell of the library through each one.
Laundry. You had a lot of dark clothing that had to be washed. Most of your wardrobe was dark; in hindsight buying clothes that you thought to be mellow has turned into an eye-sore: black on top of black.
Outside, grass, birds. It's all routine, until you heard this pressured howl from the bathroom. The pipe under the sink, the joint where copper met the shut-off valve corroded into a hairline fracture. It was weeping, hissing water. You hadn't bothered to check because the light had given off the same mellow hiss. But it was un-ignorable now, the fracture expanded, the wood of the cabinet floor that received the drippings dark and swollen, a faint mildew marking its presence.
You twisted the rusty valve at the joint until the beading and the hissing stopped. You stood up, the cuffs of your shirt now falling slowly down the length of your arm, beads of water that gave off the scent of rotten wood dripping down your fingers.
You cleaned yourself up and drove to the hardware store. Near the same lot, close to a familiar light and tree that held that nearby lot. You told an employee you recognized, who has this misfortune of prescribing flex tape to any and all complications because the store hadn't bothered to train him. He disappeared into the back to presumably grab flex tape.
You waited in plumbing. An aisle full of copper joints, PVC elbows, rubber gaskets. Another employee came through pushing a tall ladder cart stacked with inventory boxes, the kind that fills an aisle like a wall.
You stepped to give space. You let out a sudden breath before your lips clasped shut.
She was on the other side. She wasn't looking at you, opposite in fact. She was already holding a door knob and tape. She was wearing the same coat, her hair pulled back this time.
The ladder cart passed and took the wall with it and now there was nothing between you and her except eight feet of linoleum and a shelf of reduced-price caulking guns.
The PA system was listing a sale on exterior paint, a child was screaming about something two aisles over, and a rattle of the ventilation unit that been especially worse in these microseconds.
She turned to reach for something in the shelf behind her and her swept across the aisle the way eyes do in a hardware store. [1]
[1] Beyond fathers, the hardware store is a place of mystique and mystery. A place of banality and stale nothingness. You must swipe your eyes across every shelf because some item was misplaced by some bored child that carried the drill to the caulk section.
And in this banality, she met your eyes. The door knob was in her hands, tape in the other.
How to describe the moment a face you've been assembling from fragments, disassembling them all over again - lip-smudge on a glass, knuckles on a counter, the pitch of that deep laugh - suddenly coheres into an actual person. There's no word.
'Hi,' you said. Which wasn't exactly the best thing to say, but what else? You met somebody you thought about 24/7 and she's just there. She was even prettier than before, maybe because everything else was getting fried under 7,000 lumens of commercial lighting and she was just resistant.
'What are you doing here.'
'Pipe broke under the sink, the valve area corroded into some - ' Out of words, you imitate a burst of water with your hands.
She blinked, twice, rapidly. 'Plumbing supplies?'
'I'm waiting for an employee who went into the back fifteen minutes ago and may have died there.'
The ends of her lips tipped upward. She held up the door knob. 'Mine fell off.'
'It just fell off?'
'The whole knob. It's been loose since September. I've been meaning to fix it but one day⊠well today⊠it just fell off.'
'Which door.' You ask.
'Bathroom, I've been closing it with a towel wedged under the gap. It works, but I decided that I wanted to be a person who fixes things. The evidence is not compelling, I know.' She said, with tape and a door knob in her hands.
And thus: blissful awareness, you were standing in a hardware store in the clothes you'd been doing laundry in, cuffs damp from the pipe, holding nothing, caught in the wild by the person your mind had been coring itself around for three weeks.
And the setting was PVC elbows and caulk and under square-ceiling'd bright lights that did no good for complexions.
'You - ' her eyes traced over you again, your messy clothes. 'You look like you were in the middle of something.'
'I was in the middle of a Saturday.'
And here is where a different man - a man less soldered into routine, a man whose every gesture hadn't been load-tested against the possibility of feeling something - would have said: have dinner with me, come back to the bar, sit next to me, don't leave this time. [2]
[2]A different man would've at least had dry clothes on, no matter the instance.
Instead you looked at the door knob in her hand, 'That's the wrong size.'
'What?'
'For an interior door. That's exterior hardware. The bore's too wide - it won't seat right.'
She turned it over, 'are you sure?'
'I know a lot of useless things. Knobs happen to be one of them. Well, it depends if the whole thing fell off or just the knob.'
'Just the knob.'
You stepped closer and pointed at the shelf lower than the one she was looking at. 'This one - ' You ended on a note that was higher than how you intended for it to end. Because of the simple fact that you were closer to her. Close enough to smell the citrus in her perfume, the shampoo that smelled just like honey.
She grabbed a knob that was the same color and compared them, and put back the one that was bigger. 'This one.'
And you wanted to say seventeen things and answer in a thousand ways.
She turned to face you fully. Like at the bar (when her salt-tracked eyes stared at you fully - brilliant, brilliant, brilliantâŠ)
'Thank you,' she said. 'For the knob consultation.'
'Any time.'
'I should - '
'Yeah.' [3]
[3] What's different here: there's no alcohol. Let it be clear: the anonymity that you had at the bar was no more. You are two people who shared a beautiful evening, and have been building private mythologies around each other for three weeks⊠and there you are, both, in-the-flesh. Dry, physically, sure. Internally? Hell no. All of this intensity is funneled into the knob consultation. You teach her about passage sets because you cannot say what you really want to say. She listens with too much seriousness becauseâŠ
She retreated to the end of the aisle. She left just like the way she did at the bar. But there wasn't a bell above the door this time, no crumpled twenty on the counter.
'Sorry about the wait.' You turned towards the voice, it was the employee. 'We had to dig through overstock.'
Strangely, he got the right item: the valve kit. You went back home and fitted the new valve, tightened it until the beading and hissing stopped. You washed your hands, you ate something you wouldn't remember eating, laid back into the couch to read a book whose spine was giving way.
You read until you were drowsy and headed to bed. But you were woken up by a late message:
-
[number redacted] 1:09 AM:
I keep starting this wrong. I wrote four versions and deleted them, and I'm now writing about deleting them - which is 100% worse. This sort of meta-writing has always been a chore for me - I watch, I am invisible, it's hard to write about myself. But just because I'm invisible doesn't mean I don't exist, but still, there is no valid way to test it. Is there?
Because my life goes like so: I fall asleep on the train home from "work" but I get home anyway. I close my eyes and nothing happens. I close my eyes every now and then, just to test the waters, and find I'm still moving, being moved, walking through the turnstile with my eyes closed, held up and carried along by the routine. Am I invisible?Â
The lights flicker and the wheels clack. No one on the train can tell who's driving, so I let go of the imaginary wheel. I lean back in my plastic seat and let my shoulders drop. In the seat across from me, a man is reading something on his phone. His hands look familiar. And the woman standing by the automatic doors - her jaw, the set of her jaw strikes something deep inside me. Look at the grey at the temples of the guy in the coat two seats over! I know that grey! I've seen that grey on somebody else's head! All these parts trying to assemble themselves in front of me, as if to say let me in, I'm still here, hello hello, you know me, you know - I spent my life without making a mark - and then you sat next to me and looked at me, and now i can't ride a train without seeing you everywhere, which means I was seen, which means I exist in someone else's story, which means I'm not invisible anymore.
So here's the deal: I'm not invisible. You are proof of it.
Here I am in my apartment with the blue tape on every wall and nothing painted, waiting for you to find me. I could pretend I'm writing to everyone - assume a middle distance and transcend myself - but I'm writing to you and you know it.
There was one time, we were at the bar then, and you had just gone somewhere inside your head - I could see it happen, the departure, mid-sentence - and I almost said where did you just go? but I didn't because I was already somewhere too. It doesn't always matter where we are but here I am and I say hello, sitting next to you this time, just pretend I'm sitting next to you this time, please. You would like it here. Maybe you would like it here. I think that maybe you would like it here. There's painter's tape on the light switch and the spackle's the wrong grade and⊠and all these books have been slant-wise because I had been meaning to give you that one book that held the structural stability of an entire shelves worth of books⊠but you would like it here.
I work my jobs, I take my trains. Button the coat and go to work, unbutton the coat and go to sleep. I sleep. I dream. I wake. I collect. I get out the napkin and start writing down the things that affix the meaning to the evening, the inner life to the barstool, the names to the faces. I float too much to settle in the actual world. I envy your routine but that's the deal - you're a Friday and I'm a bar and when I try to guess your trajectory I end up telling my own story -Â
my own story⊠isn't that crazy?
But you are my stranger and I think about you sideways daily. Sideways because I have to cast it out in all directions, hoping it bounces off something and eventually finds you. You and your stool and your lager and your coat pockets that apparently contain nothing, if the bartender is to be believed.
I asked him for your number. I told him not to tell you, which is childish, and I'm sure he hasn't told you. It's been in my phone for eleven days, unsaved, filed under cowardice. (You alone can make eleven days feel like a year or two. I used to sleep eleven days! [1]) I've been rereading the evening. I think it's about me in a way that might not be flattering, but that's okay. We dream and dream of being known and then finally someone sits next to us and listens and we bolt. We leave a twenty on the bar and bolt. Anyway: story received, story kept. You looked at me long enough to see something underneath the prying. Thanks. Sometimes you get so close to someone you end up on the other side of them.
[1] subject to hyperbole. i dont sleep that much. im sure you know it's sarcastic but just in case, just in case.
So here we are: me being here and you being off the map and me sending this across the wires and hoping to be received. You're making me work for this and that's okay too. I was pushing too hard, asking too much, and you let me anyway, and yes, this has been the shape of it all along: a place for the story to land, the airport of someone else's listening.
The question I keep asking myself is do you have a real reason to send this and can you prove it? And of course there is no definitive answer. A sensible person would do the math. A sensible person would weigh the facts and arrive at a conclusion. People, they make it up as they go along. They find connections between things where there aren't any. They get strange about it, they refuse to call, they take it deep inside themselves and fold it into something unrecognizable and then they set it down on the table. Or they send it as a text to an unsaved number at one in the morning.
I had a tape recorder when I was nine. I walked around recording everything - the kettle, my sister fighting with the remote, traffic from the window. I thought if I collected enough of the world I could play it back and it would make sense. It never made sense.
That's what I do. I sit next to strangers and I press record and I leave. The leaving is the easy part. The part after the leaving - where the tape keeps playing even though you've pressed stop - I have no practice in.
Of course, I wonder if you think about it too, which is, really, beside the point. I don't do this to be thought about, I do it because the evening keeps getting bigger in my memory - really, unmovable - and that's just what happens.
So here we are again, words on a screen, the voice that wants to be a hand, the bridge with no opposite side. You're the only one. Sure, we invent each other. We agreed to that somewhere between the Pocky and the lager. Stranger and bartender's regular, Friday and the rest of the week. We do what we do and what I do is put the words on the screen and stare at them.
So here you are, reading this, expecting something. A reason perhaps, or an apology for bolting. You're ready and I'm ready too. Have you been waiting long? I've put it together for you, bundled it all up, because it's nice to put yourself inside someone's phone at one in the morning, like origami cranes and family trees and fifty-dollar tips. Here is a place for it to happen. A place where I can say it:
I'm not invisible. You are proof of it.
If you want, we could sit somewhere again. I'm good at sitting somewhere. You seem to be too. [2]
PS: the bartender gave me the exact times you come into the bar. I waited on a Friday where you were supposedly there. I sat in the car for about 20 minutes before bolting back home. Then I did it again. Your routines are rubbing off on me.
-
[2] I really had to add a Richard Siken reference into this fic. I bundled it up and made it specific to this story but I highly recommend reading the original. Here it is[https://web.archive.org/web/20211127225334/http://sporkpress.com/2_1/Pieces/Siken.htm]. Tears and more tears.
-
How many read-throughs did it take? Gawon sent you a thousand-word-and-then-some letter that held everything she ever held in these meek eleven days which held years for her. Years!
You can already imagine Gawon in the kitchen - or her voice ringing from the kitchen, spreading jam on that slighty burnt toast (because of course your charmful toaster is a little old-fashioned and selective with its burning) - and you're in your boxers and a t-shirt that has her perfume all over it. It's a living thing at this hour.
Utterly enthralled. A way to put it.
Then:
[number redacted] 1:21 AM: apt 4F at hannam residences
She sent her address.
You put on pants that were on the couch, your renovation pants. Paint-struck and everything else on it. Who gives a fuck. She's in the kitchen and you're in your boxers.
You picked up your keys and forgot your jacket. The November air hit like feathers. You drove fourteen minutes or a few seconds. You brain had read the letter, processed it and resigned then and there - what remained was a man in a car following the GPS voice.Â
It was a gated community. A slight drive up a hill. The gate opened anyway and there was nowhere to scrutinize where you were going with renovation clothes. There was no signage: only sleek limestone and tall windows that somehow had obscured the inside fo the apartments.Â
You parked your car in some discrete corner and moved across the units. The inside emanated that same sleek-style. Single orchid on a table that looked more expensive than it should've. You walked past the unmanned concierge desk, into the elevator that moved without a sound. Onto the fourth floor.
The hallway carpet ate your footsteps, must've been deeper than the sole of your shoes. 4A, 4B, 4C, all between large expanses of abstract art - what looked like Egon Schiele dupes but very well might've been the real pieces. You stopped at 4F. The door had a brass knob, just something you noticed.Â
You knocked.
There was airtight silence, nothing. It took longer -Â
the lock turned and the door swung inward and she was standing there in a t-shirt that ended just above the top of her thighs, barefoot on dark hardwood, hair down, holding her phone in one hand with the screen still lit - your conversation still open, that selection to delete the message still there.
She looked at you. At the jeans with the drywall dust and pain. The absence of a jacket. At the fact of you, standing in her hallway - routine man, never missed an hour out of routine - twenty-two minutes after she'd pressed send, hours after when you usually sleep.
'Hi,' you said.Â
'No'
'No?'
'No, you're not - you can't be here. That's not - I just sent that.'
'I know. I read it.'
'You read it and you drove here?'
'You put the address in the text.'
'The address was a - that was decorative! That was for ambiance! You were supposed to save it and think about it for several days and then maybe - we go our separate ways.'
'Your theory of mind needs work,' you joke, 'you sent the message and then the address. How can I not come?'
'Because one in the morning is when coward send things! That's the whole point of one in the morning! You send the thing and you go to sleep and you build your defenses in the daylight like a normal person!'
You looked at her, then to yourself. Pointing with your whole hand at what you're wearing - what pants were available, painted, maybe ripped, everything in between.
She stared at you, bit the inside of her cheek, looked at the ceiling as if there was a teleprompter there.
'Those areâŠ' She stepped into the door, one hand on the frame; pulling your wrist, 'come in before one of my neighbors calls someone.'
You stepped inside. She was right in front of you - undone at one in the morning - and behind her was lengths of painter's tape that had their edges peel off from not being used. And on the bathroom door, the correct knob lay seated - almost flush - a degree or two off, someone watched a tutorial and gotten close enough.
'You installed it,' you said.
She followed your eyes to the bathroom door. 'It took me forty minutes and a youtube video. The man kept referring to the screwdriver with its government name - phillips something something.'
She continued, 'it's crooked but it closes. I don't need it to be level, I need it to not fall off again while I'm in the shower, which is the bare minimum I'm asking of the objects in my life right now.' She walked past you to the kitchen - an open thing, marble island, fridge with its own weather system - and she picked up a glass that had been sitting there, which meant she'd been standing in this kitchen holding water before you knocked.
'Do you want something? I have water. I have some lager - the same lager.'
'The same lager?'
'I believe I made it clear, very clear, in a thousand-word-and-then-some letter at one in the morning, that I collected everything from our evening.' She opened the fridge, reached in. The inside was clean, organized. A whole pack of lager, unopened was the outlier. She'd bought it and never touched it.
She slipped you a bottle and a bottle for herself.
You sipped. It had, somehow, tasted better. Everything tasted better, the air, the beer, the residual citrus. Something more lucid to it, maybe it was the night, maybe it was Gawon.
'Verdict?'
'Better than the bar's.'
She grinned at that.
You looked at the taped wall. 'I was thinking about that door knob. But it seems you resolved that on your own. When did you do all this?' You point.
'July.'
'July.'
'Yes. The manifestation of procrastination. In my defence, though, I bought the tape. I bought the primer, I bought a roller and one of those little trays and I even bought the weird angled brush for the corners, because the woman at the store said corners are where amateurs fail, and I thought, right, I am not going to fail at corners. I was very precise with how I taped and then looked at all the tape and never touched the primer.'
She said this all in one breath.
'Your letter,' you said.
'We could also not.'
'The train part.'
'I described you as a composite corpse assembled from the body parts of subway passengers. I remember. Like organ harvesting. But I think there's relevant context before I -'
'You're not insane. Far from it. It made sense.'
'Made sense how?'
'I'd rather not say.'
'You fragment me into a composite corpse as well?'
'That's one way of putting it.'
'Which parts?' A grin appeared on her. Relieved, perhaps.
'Your fingers on the beer. The glass tilted because your hand's too weak for the mug.'
'That mug could house a family of four. It's a war crime.' Her hair fell forward over one shoulder, this dark curtain.'
'You should know,' she said, 'that I almost didn't send it. I wrote it in the Notes app. Which is where things go to die. I have forty-seven notes in that app and not a single one has become anything; grocery lists that I forget to consult the moment I enter the supermarket; ideas for prose; a pros-and-cons list about cutting my hair that I consulted for three months before making a decision I immediately regretted.'
She picked up the water glass. 'The point is, the app is a graveyard. The letter should've stayed there.'
'It didn't.'
'Because at twelve-fifty in the morning I moved it from the Notes app into the text field and the text field had this energy to it, I felt compelled to press it, it was like a jump pad. Once I pressed it, I tried my damned-est to delete it instantly. I caught my breath by reading it over and over and then you showed up before I went through with it.'
She continued, 'you coming was not part of the decision tree. The branches are: you text back something kind in the morning and we have a polite exchange and then slowly, tastefully, never speak again. And one where you don't reply and I delete everything and learn a valuable lesson about the Notes app being the correct final destination for my feelings.' She paused. 'There was no branch where you show up.'
'And yet.'
'You came.'
'You know why.'
'I want to hear a reason that isn't the letter. The letter is a thousand words of me being -' she waved her hand, 'unwell. Give me a reason that has nothing to do with the letter.'
You looked at the tape on her walls. The edges curling where the adhesive had given way a few months ago.
'The door knob,' you said.
'What?'
'At the hardware store. You were holding the wrong knob and I told you it was exterior hardware and you grabbed the right one and left. And I stood there in an empty aisle holding nothing and I thought: she's going to go home and install that by herself. She's going to watch a tutorial and get it a degree or two off and it's going to close but not perfectly and she's going to decide that's good enough.' You looked at the bathroom door, the knob seated almost flush. 'And I wanted to be there for that. Which is a stupid thing to want.'
She stared at you.
'That's your reason.'
'That's a reason.'
'That's -' she pressed her lips together. Looked at the ceiling. Blinked more than once. 'That's a really good answer and I need a second.'
'Take your time.'
'I'm going to stand here and be furious that you out-answered me in my own apartment after I wrote you the most embarrassing letter in the history of digital communication and you show up and say "door knob" and it's better than everything I wrote. That's -' She came around the island. Stood on your side now. 'That's not fair.'
She was close enough to see the goosebumps on your forearms where the cuffs were rolled. The strand of hair had fallen across her face again, the same one that had been refusing to stay put, and you reached across and pushed it off her face, finally, this stupid strand, and tucked it behind her ear and your thumb stayed on her cheekbone and she closed her eyes.
'You must've been cold,' she said.
'Yes.'
'It's November.'
'I know what month it is.'
She opened her eyes. She was looking at your arms, at the small hairs standing from the cold, and you were looking at her looking at your arms, and neither of you was looking at each other's face.
She kissed you first. The sequence is unreliable because what actually happened was she got closer to touch your arm to measure the frozen of your arm and then the glass of water got knocked by someone's elbow and when you tried to catch it your arm wrapped around her waist and the glass rolled off the counter and hit the floor and didn't break because of course she owned the kind of glasses that don't break, and the water spread across the hardwood.
She tasted like the beer, the faintest trace of toothpaste, that weird all-encompassing perfume that swallows you whole. Your hand went to her jaw - that jaw, the one you've been eyeing at the bar table - it was warm and sharp and -
She pulled back. Enough to speak.
'Your hands are freezing.' She smiled, 'is there anything you did bring?'
'Myself.'
'Insufficient.' She kissed you again. Her fingers in the collar of your t-shirt, grasp-tight, like she'd been thinking about this for years, she pulled back again. 'This is a terrible shirt.'
'Because you sent me a sincere letter that turned my brain into mush; I did not have the mind for a wardrobe. Can we stop reviewing my outfit?'
'It's just cute how you chase my lips.' She blows at your lips, a grin.
You kissed her to shut her up, which didn't work, because she laughed into it - this full sound that vibrated against your lips and accidentally filled both your cheeks with air so you had to let go just a bit.
Your hand went from her jaw to the back of her head, the split between hair and skin in the back.
'Couch,' she said.
'Where.' You make a breathy inquiry into her mouth.
'Behind you. The - just move back a little, just reverse straight.' The geometry of the maneuver was stupid and graceless and at one point your calf hit the coffee table and something on it - book, books, whatever - slid and toppled and then the backs of your knees hit the couch and she was above you, one knee on either side, the oversized shirt tenting around you both.
She looked down at you. You looked up at her. Her hair fell forward and curtained the sides of your face and the whole apartment disappeared. Her face in the frame of dark hair, her moles, her nose, her everything - god, she's just too beautiful.Â
'Hi,' she said.
'Hi.'
You put your hands on her waist. The shirt was thin and through it you could feel the heat of her, the ribs, the expansion of her breathing. Just a little shaking.
'Okay,' she said. 'Now take off the pipe pants. They're ruining my couch.'
You did. Standing there, in her apartment, at one-something in the morning, stepping out of painted jeans in front of the woman you mythologized.
Gawon looked at your boxers, looked at them for a long time.
'Plaid boxers,' she said. 'You drove across town, in November, without a jacket, to see a woman who wrote you a love letter, and you're wearing plaid boxers.'
'They were on top of the pile.'
'The audacity.' But she was grinning. She pushed you gently back onto the couch. Knees on either side of your lap, her face level with yours. 'I believe you now - about the rushing.'
Her breathing had changed to a slower register.
'What else do you do,' she said. 'I sent you a thousand-word letter about trains and the interior of my psyche. You know everything about me. Well, except for the fact that I used to be an idol.' She paused, trying to gauge what you were thinking.
'It's a shame you've short-circuited me down to my last two brain cells, otherwise I'd be more interested in that idol story of yours.' Your face got closer, until your noses were touching and you leaned just part-way, this slotting way, to kiss her again. And again. And again.
'Did I tell you that I read?' You add between the kisses.
'What book?'
'It doesn't matter what book. It's a page issue. I'm stuck on a page. Was.'
'Mhm.'
'I'm past that book now.'
She nodded during one of the kisses, 'That's progress.' In this serious, adorable way.
'It was a long book.'
'You're a slow reader.' She put more emphasis into her grasp around your neck. 'I'll wait.'
You kissed her harder. She leaned into it, her weight shifting. You ran your hand along her spine, each vertebra viscerally real under your fingers.
'Bed,' she said.
'The couch.' You insisted back.
'The couch was fine before.' She extended her hand. 'Get up.'
You took her hand. She pulled you up, stronger than she looked, and led you down the hallway past the books and the blue tape.
Every door in her apartment was slightly open, every one. The front door had been open when you arrived. The bathroom a crack open. And the bedroom door at the end of the hallway, not enough to see inside but enough to say I didn't close this, I left it for you, I left every door tonight slightly open. She really put her all into this.
You pushed it open. The bedroom was enormous. More windows, floor-to-ceiling, more city. The bed was wide and low and white and half-unmade, as if she inhabited just a part of it and that was the only unmade part. The way light pooled across made it look like art.
She stood in the doorway behind you.
'I wasn't expecting you to come. By the way.'
'We've done this bit.'
'We'll keep doing it. It's a good bit, it's unbelievable, really.' She replied back with a grin.
She walked past you to the far side of the bed. Her side. Looked up at you across the white expanse of sheets. In the window-light from the city her skin held a blue tint, a coolness, and the shadows found the hollows of her collarbones and the ridges of her shoulders and the way she demurely held her forearm to barely - just barely - cover her nipples and the line where her underwear met her hip and you stood there in plaid boxers at the foot of a stranger's bed in a building you'd never been in, in a neighborhood you'd never visited, and the feeling was vertiginous, the feeling was standing at an altitude you hadn't expected.
You got on the bed. Crossed it on your knees. She just sat there on the edge, and when you reached her you put your hand on the side of her face, thumb on her cheekbone, fingers in her hair, and tilted her face up toward yours.Â
You caught her lips gently.Â
'I was invisible - ' you kissed her again. Seeing her lips unspooled, accelerating, each clause folding itself into each velvety note - it's unendurable.
She grabbed the back of your neck with both hands and pulled you down and you went. Onto the white sheets, into her side, her body warm and real and breathing hard against your mouth. Legs wrapped around and her heels pressed into the backs of your thighs and it was totality: every square inch that could touch was touching, and through the thin two fabrics that were quickly becoming redundant - touching, rubbing, all-wet.Â
'You're a fast reader all of a sudden.'
'I found a good book.'
She laughed into the kiss. Her hands went to the waistband of your bxoers and yours went to her hips and the last of the fabric came off in this artless, graceless way where your boxers got stuck on your thighs and she had to stop kissing to stare down for a visual indicator of how 'off' your boxers were, and you did the same, less gracefully, maybe fully ripping her panties off, it didn't matter: two people are just trying to get to each other and cotton is in the way. That way. It's all-becoming.
It was all skin. On these white sheets, you pressed into the honey of her body, her neck, her wetness gathered the underside of your shaft. You pressed deeper and Gawon groaned with pleasure, she bit the skin of her index finger as you pressed deeper - not yet penetrating; shifting your hips into languid strokes that teetered on her wet folds; this perfect muffled sigh of wet flesh. And her pelvis began moving, just so, just so - her velvety folds molding on the underside of your shaft.Â
'Condom.' You groan, you barely get out. Her pussy's choking you - choking every nerve of yours that even a bundle of syllables becomes harder than everything to get outâŠ
' - don't have - ungh.'
And this is where the moral calculus begins: you're inside of her home, you didn't bring anything except yourself - she's partial to how you are you and that got you in her bed, rubbing your cock against her pussy - and now you haven't the grace to even have a condom on you. Shame, shame!
Gawon held the back of your neck again, and whispered, as low as her fucked-up nerves allowed: 'it doesnt matter, it doesnt matter, i dont even care if you come inside.'
And so this is the dilemma: what is the point of this moral calculus if she doesn't care about anything but you? You are you and you can fuck me like that. That you're gonna enter her with no barrier, that you might even come and paint her cervix and she'll allow that?Â
The lips of her sex, plump now, parted and glid against the rigid length of you again. Smooth, soft, some silky resistance. with each grind the delicate hood of her clitoris would catch - just a bit - and tug against the base of you, drawing a sharp gasp from that was swallowed by your mouth. [1]
[1] To the unimaginative mind, she's saying every word in the dictionary to deal with her own orgasm on the precipice, you're bringing her over the edge, then pulling her off that cliff and then dropping her lower. Sadistic!
She was so wet, a slick dew that gathered and spread. Your own flesh pressed and straining upward - schlick schlick and some oh fucks - into the slick groove of her. The crown of your shaft, would catch the edge of her opening with each roll, nudging, spreading her apart, breaking her apart - that cliff she's barely an ankle above the falling line. And the only sound is this moist squelch of two sets meeting and parting, meeting and parting, the sticky-softness of condensation building between bodies making parting from skin harder - colder.
Her hands tightened on your shoulders, and she said. 'Fuck me. Please'
'But'
'I don't care, I'll carry your baby.'
You entered her. Her breath caught halfway, the arch of her back that was processing just the tip. You listened to the arch calm down. Pressed forward in increments. Felt her open around you in degrees, accompanied by these desperate mewls against your collarbone. You kissed her ears and entered deeper into her.Â
She shook and vibrated and lost her voice when you were fully inside her. You held still, forehead to forehead, and her mouth was slightly open, breathing in - something that had nothing to do with lungs.
'Okay?' you said.
She opened her eyes, they were glassy and enormous and so close you could see yourself in them.
She pulled on your shoulders, and gave a wavering kiss that broke when you pulled out inch-by-inch. You moved and her hips, tilted just a little, meeting you part-way. Her hands slid from your shoulders down to your back, fingernails digging deeper - it was pain for another morning.Â
You hit her deeper and faster, into her slick-strung insides that grasped and clung and slid. And she was speechless, she tried - opening her mouth to let out words that didn't form. You repeated these thrusts, her hands went back around her pillow, breasts jumping in-parallel your thrusts, her neck-line taut and catching the blue night.
She got louder, these girlish moans that grew more frequent, closer together, overlapping. But her hips moved faster - and at one point you had to catch up to her! - and the bed frame creaked luxuriously - aristocratically, this creak of expensive joinery under unexpected strain. And she said, of all things, 'the bed's recording this too' and you laughed into her mouth.
You felt her intensify in the particulars - the way her eyebrows strained and the muscle of her arm strained as she grasped the pillow tighter than before, you caught one nipple in your mouth between the thrusts - now obscenely automatic - you kissed the curve of her top breast, the upper-top of it, then even higher, and she giggled: 'you're gross'. So you bit down just a tad, another girlish yelp before you went straight back to her mouth.Â
'Don't stop,' she said. Barely audible. 'Don't - '
'I'm - '
The orgasm ripped through her entire body. First at the hips: light spasms that halted the moment the orgasm travelled up her spine, then the reality of it: her mouth let out the syllables 'I'm cumming' as if wasn't the most obvious little thing. And she let out this fractured exhale, all-ragged, breaking, on something - could've been your name.
Her legs shook again. Her folds squeezed and you could feel it around your cock. Her thighs were tight around your waist.Â
'Keep going.' She said.
'I should - ' Well you should stop. Anything more and you'll -
Her heels pressed deeper into the small of your back.Â
You buried your mouth in hers, tonguing at her before you entered all the way to the hilt, kissing her cervix. Your bodies were damp now, hints of citrus, coffee by the bedside, the smell of sex and orgasms in the air. You moved faster and she was mouthing these fragments - yes and there and I've got you and stay. and that's what you did, thrusting into her, grasping at her breasts, fucking into her pussy, bruising her cervix, crushing her like she wanted you to.Â
Then you felt it, the ultimate urge to let loose. You pulled out as quickly as you could, the slick of her pussy connected the head of your cock by a strand and you fisted your cock until you blasted all over her belly. Drops of your cum had landed on her folds, glazed, pink and white and honey.Â
It was an emergency obviously, and yet, she pressed her fingers into her pussy, bringing her fingers up, testing the elasticity of the fluid and pressing it on her tongue - tasting it - before pushing the rest into her folds.
for fuck's sake this woman is gonna end you. You fell to her side, breathing hard as she was, ribcages expanding in and out in this atmosphere of heat and sex.
'Still there?' Her fingers traced the area where your heart was.
'Still there.'
'Good. I need you alive.'
'That's the bar? Alive?'
'For you, sure, that's the only requirement - everything else is a bonus.' Her finger traced a circle on your chest. 'Some bonuses are more generous than others.'
'Are you grading right now?'
'It's a⊠holistic evaluation.'
'And?'
'Above average.'
'Above average. I swear you were crying from pleasure.'
She slapped you lightly on the shoulder, 'Better than average. Statistically anomalous, even. I'd need a larger sample size to confirm but the preliminary data is -' she rolled over to your side, thigh on top of your thigh, a kiss on your shoulder, 'substantial.'
'You're making dick jokes in bed.'
'It was intended to be statistical. The phallic interpretation is entirely yours. I can't control where your mind goes.' She kissed your collarbone. 'But yes.'
You laughed and she turned it into a kiss on your lips. And she settled deeper, burrowing, pressing into you the way she pressed open books into damage.
'I'm not leaving, just so you know,' she said.
'I can tell.' You tried to move a leg and she tightened her grasp.
'I happen to want to be exactly here where I want, so I'm not moving. I'm a barnacle.'
'How romantic.'
'Really, I'm a romantic person. I write letters about imagining a cut-up version of you on trains; that's the Gawon experience, you signed up for this.'
You wrapped your arms around her, the whole ridiculous barnacle arrangement, her legs knotted in yours, her arms cinched around your ribs, her face buried in your chest.
'You're mine,' she said. 'I don't care that it's been an hour and a letter and two beers. You're mine. I'm keeping you.'
'Obviously.' She tightened her grip. A full-body squeeze, every limb. 'And now I'm fused to your chest in my own bed at two in the morning and you're inside me and I'm on earth. I'm on the ground. I'm so on the ground right now.'
'I'm floating. Just a little. Not too much.' You reply.
She held you, her heartbeat on your ribs. Your hand in her hair. Her breath on your skin in a rhythm that was calming. Gentle inhales and exhales.
'For the record,' she murmured, eyes closed now, words going soft, 'the preliminary data really is exceptional. The sample size issue stands. We'll need to replicate. Repeatedly. For scientific integrity.'
'How repeatedly.'
'Extensively.' A pause. Her voice almost gone. 'Longitudinally.'
'That's another -'
'Go to sleep.'
She fell asleep on top of you, on you; the full weight of her, which was not much, which was less than you expected, but which pressed you into the mattress with a force that had nothing to do with mass and everything to do with the fact that she was here and real and breathing gently into your chest. Her cold feet pressed against your shins. Still cold, even now, even after everything, as if her feet existed in a separate climate zone and no amount of anything could fix it.
A/N: So I'm back! I've actually been doing great. I know absence is a bit of a bad sign but honestly this year has been shaping up to be my best ever (my prime!!!). I have a lot of time in my hands and it turns out that the stress (from other factors) was actually fueling my output last year. So this year: low cortisol poasting... thanks to everyone that waited!!
About the work: this is part 1 of a 30k. I decided that the second part needed a lot of work. I might upload it a few weeks later or months later... we'll see.
Also apologies for the wonky formatting. Obsidian markdown does not translate well to a direct copy-and-paste it seems. I might edit it in the future but i wanna get this stinking mess out already!!!
1.3k boner fueled haze with sideward philosophical considerations.
a/n: This might be the dirtiest thing I've ever wrote lmaoooo, randomly wanted to write today. Also, I decided the mechanics of typing quotation marks is just annoying... let me know if it's too hard to read. It's so much easier for me if I can write like this T-T
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Daddy, she mewls.
Hands in your lap.
There's no sympathy for her. You're in this cramped bathroom with her, your groin pushed up to her face, and all she can say is: Daddy.
Open your mouth
Through the small opening in her mouth, you slot in a finger, trace the lower lip and upper lip - gather spit from the tip of her tongue to glaze her lips.
Wider. You say.
She's just sitting there, rubbing her thighs together - like she isn't so fucked and slippery in her underwear that just a small touch could make her cum - that you pressing a finger into her mouth - letting her throat close around that digit - wouldn't make her burst into decibels and let the whole town know that you - her dependable assistant - is fucking her dumb.
She's doing this to prove that she's listening - that she can be... good. Her own idea of being better for you - this twisted idea.
She's staring at how you unbutton your pants. Button by button, all the way until your cock's out half-mast diagonal to her face and she's fucking drooling. Slowly moving forward and you pin her head to the wall of the bathroom stall.
How do you want this dick?
Like how you fucked her.
And this 'her' is the mystical idea - Sohyun thinks you fucked that other girl so much better than you fucked Sohyun. That in her twisted world, the way you fucked Sohyun wasn't the same as that girl.
And you keep telling her:
You think I'm not enjoying every moment with you? That day, we fucked like lovers. You cup her cheeks with one hand and her glazed lips point out duck-like. I'll show you what I like.
You bundle two fingers - index and ring - down her mouth, until her throat closes and she half-gags. Eyes fill with these tears and she tries to straighten herself. All the while, your fingers are still down there, and it makes it hard for her breathe but -
She's fucking climaxing, barely keeping her hands on her lap. A breathless moan escapes her and you take this opportunity to let your fingers in deeper. Her chest jerks, a tear goes down her left cheek as your knuckles bump her teeth.
Roughly: good girl.
White-knuckled against her spit-trickled dress shirt that won her millions in lawsuits. Just then, you pull your fingers out, and she finally gets to swallow down.
There's this unscrupulous contradiction you keep thinking about: you read about the dadaists and about how they contradict everything they see and you thought: what a bunch of fucking clowns. About how the world's at peace and the dadaists would actually want war rather than peace and all of it was so incorrigible - so unfathomable. Until you met Sohyun, this trailblazing lawyer in need of an assistant who would do her grunt work. The internship experience seemed great and all but the days were hell. An attitude that betrayed her beauty (or supported it). By the 3rd week you were telling your parents that you'd rather become a line cook than anything ambitious, anything that could take them out of suburban mortgage hell. Then the day after that you came inside her and everything crumpled.
Your spit-slick fingers wrapped around your cock and you fisted it gently, just inches away from her mouth. She couldn't help but move forward, but you pin her head again and she's completely mindless - obeying any mechanic of hers that'll grant her a feather of stimulus.
You tap your cock against her tongue. You could see the way her lips twitched to close, but she seemed to contextualize enough context to know that anything that you didn't allow would be swiftly punished. And maybe now everything was dawning on her:
That you enjoyed sex with her rather than the opposite - that sex may not be just about desperation and grisly bounces and broken penises (oh the horror!) and hoarse-broken throats. That it's supposed to be as intimate as the day you came inside her.
Because this? This was heady, broken, and embarrassing - and all of it was happening in her own office bathroom that she shares with subordinates. One mistake and she's kicked off the ladder.
And yet:
I want all of it. I want it. I want it.
You could see how her cloudy eyes mechanized - she was about to cum again - you let your tip on her tongue and she's already around the cycle again. You press the heft of your shaft into her mouth and push in gently. Push in gently because she already came, push in gently because you want to savor - for a few moments longer - how she crumples under you.
You're gentle with it, letting her set the pace, letting her get breaths between strokes. She anchors herself, and this control you give her makes her shiver - even the way her throat clenches when she goes too deep has that particular tremor.
She pulls back to breathe, a strand of saliva still connects your tip and her lower lip. And she's staring at the corded red-tipped shaft, speechless.
Stand up
She does, her skirt crumpled just a way's up. She's expectant, wanting something. But this wasn't a day for her wants.
You grab the waistbands of her panties and nylon, pull it down midway and her pussy's just glistening - all-pink, heady, musky, almost pulsing.
Hold your skirt up
And she does, further surrendering to your hand around her throat. And everything was a bit clearer:
You began fisting your spit-slick cock again, pointed down to her panties. Another embarrassing and heady position she can't seem to get enough of: Her eyes are full of will-you's and wants that she can't act on. You press a thumb over her pulse - grunting more hunch-backed trying to not spray your cum too early - and you tighten, tighten until she grips your forearms and loses her breath for just a second - then you release. There's this rush of inhales and exhales as she catches some air and you repeat it - until, just until, you press harder than you've done before and you cum all over her panties. Cloudy liquid dotting her skirt, the floor, the nylon , the front of her pussy, and all over the panties.
Fuck.
Is all she says, can say. You pin her jaw to the side so that she can't look at you, only the door, the cruel door that may open for a coworker - and you jolt closer, scooping a bit of your cum and letting two fingers enter her just then. And she's already climaxing, screaming in her own hand.
This is what happens when I do what I want.
Your nose is buried into her exposed throat and your fingers throttling her pussy. your callused hand scraping the hood of her clit, your hooked finger rubbing that spot that makes her legs splinter half-way. You take your fingers out and mash the front of her pussy with the heel of your palm before going into her again. She's rolling with how your cum-slicked fingers penetrate her.
Her body finally gives out and that's when you hug her, your fingers still slotted into her.
In truth, I can't fuck you the way I fucked her - whatever mystical conception of you have of her. Your fingers finally slow their rolls. I want to enjoy my time with you, not treat you like trash.
And her reply, as best as it could be presented: a wet kiss, hands wrapped around you, grasping the hair behind your head.
Her kiss fluttered gently as you finally let her have one final climax.
I love you.
a/n: let me know if yall want the au I came up with that sets the background of this story lmao.
~Twice's Nayeon (x Male Reader), Smut, 2.1 k words, Oneshot
A/N 1: PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME
A/N 2: Another one shot and PURE bfh. Written in like 2 hours. Please see author's note 1
My apologies, dear reader, but this is not a story about the birds and the bees. There will be no perverse penetration, no repulsive reproduction, not even a smidge of foul fetus making.
It will, however, be raucous enough to feature other such deplorable acts, the likes of which I shall keep you obliviousâ for story purposes, thank you very much.
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The lecture hall stood empty, projector humming as it shined rays of blue onto the empty screen. Even Professor Hark had left, rolling his eyes.
Save for two, of course. You, the undergrad student with certainly not enough time to be conversing about stupid things, and Nayeon, the TA who happily indulged in conversations less than intellectual.
You leaned back in one of the shitty plastic chairs the architect of this establishment deemed studious. âOh, come on. You think it would be better to be a bee? What the fuck would you do as a bee,â you said in that tone you always took, the one that egged her on.
Nayeon crossed her bare legs on Professor Harkâs soft wheely chair, still a respectable distance away from the first row of desks you sat at. âSave the world? Bees pollinate a third of the worldâs crops. What do birds do?â She asked, raising her eyebrows.
Always coming with facts. Arguing with your TA wasnât always easy. Not that youâd ever let that stop you. âBirds ummâ keep the seed population in check. Probably.â
âThey eat worms and poop.â
âBetter than what bees eat! Isnât honey like, their own vomit?â
âYou donât like honey?â She asked.
You rolled your eyes. âThatâs not what I said.â
âThen what are you saying?â She uncrossed her legs, skirt way too short for what a TA at a respectable university shouldâve been wearing.
âThat Iâd rather be a bird than a bee,â you said shortly.
âThatâs your premise. You havenât given me any supporting arguments. Just like that paper you handed in last week. Didnât I tell you? You need to show your work.â She said in that playful voice she always used.
You stuttered. She had a point. That big C on your last paper wasnât an outlier for you, it was an average. âWellâ just ask the tutorial next week. Iâm sure theyâd agree with me.â
âStill not arguing anything,â she rolled her eyes. âJust admit it, I won.â
You sat up straighter in your chair, unwilling to give in. âWellâ you didnât show your work either!â
âI gave you statistics showing why bees are important for the earth,â she smiled, challenging.
âThat still doesnât show why it would be better to be a bee. Weâre arguing experience, not impact!â
âSo, your argument then, is that eating worms is better than eating honey?â She eyed you with that look, challenging yes, but also something else. Something that signaled fire.
âI-Itâ,â you stuttered.
Nayeon stood up, long bare legs glowing in the fluorescent lights of the classroom, top 2 buttons of her shirt unbuttoned revealing her alluring cleavage. You tried to peel your eyes off of her, but her long flowing hair and even longer legs made that impossible. âHereâs my thesis: eating as a bird is worse,â she said slowly, grabbing the apple from the desk that always seemed to be there. She took slow, long strides towards you. âNow let me show my work,â she mocked, taking a bite from the fruit.
She chewed it long and slow, exaggerating every chomp of her teeth. The hypnotizing movement of her hips as she strutted towards you stopped whatever half assed argument you were coming up with.
She stopped at your desk, towering over you as you sat. She let the crunch of the apple talk for her. She was closeâ closer than she had ever been to you, closer than any TA should have been to their student.
She swallowed with exaggeration, letting out a soft gasp. Her large round eyes peered at you from above in excitement. âHow about it?â She teased, raising the apple back to her mouth. She took a soft, slow bite. Slow enough you could see her lips enclose on it, see the bit she took swirl as her tongue moved it inside of her mouth.
You sat there shocked, mouth agape. You knew what she was insinuating, knew what came next, but god fucking dammit it was crazy. She was going to feed you like a bird? Here? Right after class?
Your remarks were snuffed as your mouth instinctively openedâ not by much, maybe half a centimeter. She noticed. A light gleamed in her eye, mouth now closed, cheeks full. Like this, she kind of looked like a chipmunk. Or a bunny. Yeah, a bunny.
A hand on your shoulder, leaning down low so you could see her cleavage. Yup. You were fucked. Her eyes stayed locked on yours as her lips hovered over your own. This was all too much. Resolve now gone, you tilted your head back, mouth opening even wider.
Nayeon smiled through the apple still lodged in her mouth; then she released it, right into yours. Strings of saliva dropped, connecting the apple in your mouth to hers.
It tasted sweet and warm and unmistakably Nayeon. She stayed there, hovering too close, watching you.
All this over a fucking argument. All this to prove it would be better to be a bee. But right now, without a shadow of a doubt, you wouldnât be anyone but yourself.
It was mushy, so much so you couldâve easily swallowed it. But you let it sit there. You held it in your mouth as Nayeon hovered over you.
âSee? Itâs gross,â she said, smiling like sheâd won. Her hand was still on your shoulder, her body leaned over and trapping you.
You finally swallowed, letting out a relieved huff of air. Your breath shook, probably not from the lack of oxygen.
Nayeonâs breathing started to match your own, this unspoken tension between you two, between student and TA. All coalescing into an apple, a bird and a bee.
Your eyes flicked to her lips. âSâ still better than a bee,â you stuttered, leaning your face closer to hers. Nayeonâs hand on your shoulder tightened and her lips parted slightly. âI wouldnât mind eating like thisâ easier that way.â
Her chest rose and fell with her breathing. An amazing sight, seeing her cleavage bounce with every heave of her chest. Her cheeks were a light red, and when she grabbed the apple and took another bite, her movements were quick and efficient.
She chewed it, before aggressively taking your lips in hers, transferring the apple to you. You let it sit there once again. A hand left your shoulder, tracing down your chest through your shirt, down to your waistband.
âAre you⊠hard?â She whisper-laughed. But the mush in your mouth left your answer a jumble of sounds. She covered your mouth with a finger, shushing you. âJust chew,â she huffed, sliding your waistband down.
Your cock sprang free, throbbing already. You flexed it as you felt the cool air on your pelvisâ and then a hand. Nayeonâs eyes never left yours, but her hand sent a jolt up your spine.
She sat in the seat next to you, shifting you so she was cradling you with one arm. It was humiliating, to be in this position with Nayeon, the TA youâd been bantering with for the whole term. So why you let it happen, with chewed up apple in your mouth no less was a mystery.
Her hand slowly worked up and down your shaft in teasing rhythms, sending shudders through your body. But Nayeon just held you, eyes locked on you, noting every reaction your body showed.
Her fingers felt like chains. She expertly released whenever you bucked your hips up, absolving you from the pleasure. And all the while she sat there, smiling.
âSwallow,â she said softly. You gasped as the mush pushed down your throat. âHoâ holy shit, Nayeon.â You huffed, body squirming under her touch.
Every throb of your cock was painful, but her hands kept working. Every nerve in your loins screamed at a thousand percent, pleasure unimaginable.
âSee,â she mocked, but her breath too grew ragged. âNot a good experience.â
You tried to sit up, but the bliss on your penis proved too much. You could only lie there in her arms.
âNow that I showed my work, can you admit that I won?â
âWâ we still havenât proved the bee eâ experience isnât worse,â you managed, even through her strokes.
âToo bad we donât have honey.â
âNngh!â You groaned as her thumb brushed your tip. âNâno, but⊠maybe we can get some nectar?â You chanced.
She rose an eyebrow at you in recognition, a sly smile creeping on her face.
âExtracting nectar isnât easy,â she breathed. âEspecially when itâs flower blooming season.â But you felt her knees shift under you, unmistakably spreading her legs.
Her hand left your cock, and the absence of it felt like drowning. They fiddled between her legs, before she raised them in front of you. Her fingers were covered in moist slickness, strings of her own viscous liquid coating her fingers.
She shoved them into your mouth. With an âoomphâ, your tongue lapped it all up. Thick and sticky, you let it coat your mouth as her hand went back, collecting more of her nectar. She shoved more into your mouth before returning to your cock.
You bucked your hips at the return of her hand, savouring her all the while. It had that tasteâ not exactly sweet, a bit metallic, but undoubtedly addicting. You swished it in your mouth as her hand picked up the pace.
Finally, you swallowed. You almost couldnât believe how long you had lasted. You could feel your cock pulse in her hand, feel how wet her hand was with your precum.
âWhatâs the conclusion?â She asked through heavy breathes. âDid I argue my thesis well enough?â Her voice was hoarse and quick, despite the academic language she was employing.
Despite squirming at nearly every twitch of her hand, âI thinkâ the argument is flawed,â you got out.
She raised her eyebrow playfully. âOh?â She gave you a few playful stroked.
âNngâ yeah. I-it assumes Iâd want to switch in the first place.â You groaned.
âItâs a would you rather,â she rolled her eyes.
âI know, but,â you breathed. âI just think humans have it downâ the whole feeding thing.â
She let out a dry laugh. âYeah?â
âYeah. You mind if I show my work?â You eyed her cleavage, still so close to you.
She gave you a few brushes on your tip. âYouâve finally learned,â she smiled. Pushing her chest forward, she pushed her top down, revealing her chest. Perfectly pink nipples twinkled in front of your eyes. Youâd tasted a modicum of things up until this point, but this was possibly the most alluring.
You latched onto her nipple. She groaned as your tongue flicked it, her hand moving faster on your cock.
Yeah, you were right. Humanâs had it down. It didnât matter that you were still in the lecture hall, or that she was your TA and you her student. These were your primal instincts, the things every creature, no matter how small, were blessed with. Feeding.
Who said it had to be animalistic?
She cradled your head, eyes closed, head rolled back in pleasure. You too were reaching your limit, the pleasure growing to a peak.
You felt her nipples harden in your mouth, could hear her moans. In contrast to the apple and even her nectar, the taste of her flesh was welcome. Such smooth and supple skin, it was nauseatingly beautiful.
Her hand worked faster and faster until your pelvis grew tense. She felt it, squeezing you harder, until your mouth left her tit as you groaned.
You spilled your jizz in a burst of pleasure, unsure of where it even landed, You just knew Nayeonâs hand was covered in it, still pumping.
You kept cumming, waves of pleasure slowly dissipating.
Your breathing steadied. Then you realized the situation as the post nut-clarity settled in.
You sat up quick, nearly jumping off Nayeonâs lap.
âWhat the fuck!â You screamed. âYâyou fed me like a bird!â
Nayeon looked around herself in shock, cheeks flaring red. âWâwhy did you let me do that!â She yelled.
âYou were the one who talked about fuckingâ experience or whatever!â
Nayeonâs flushed breathing evened out as she took everything in. âThat was you! But IâI mean I guess we settled it,â she reasoned. âYeah, human. Humans have it better.â
A/N: Another unexpected fic from the orange and GOD maybe y'all are seeing the pattern here but genuinely, these are all coincidences. tried to write this under a day and i hope y'all liked what i cooked even though it got sloppy. have a great ahead and enjoy reading!
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Yearning. Definition: A noun, a feeling of an intense longing of something or someone.
That fits to the first words of the text message popping up in your notifications, reading the words of youâve got to be here, im really waiting for you.
You canât ignore that, not when itâs Eunchae that texted you that and itâs sincere.
The both of you have decency at least, and Eunchae knows that. You wouldnât just pull into her hotel room and do the deed there before the show beginsâno, you donât want that and she doesnât want it either.Â
Itâs been four hoursânearly five, if your math is rightâsince she sent that message and you donât know how to answer it, and left it in read. Youâre just hoping sheâs not breaking her trust in you as itâs mutual, and waiting for everything to be over before fulfilling whatever Eunchae wants, what she really yearns for.
âEverything good, sir? You seem nervous.â The driver asks, as he carefully roams around the streets of Paris.
âYeah, just, you knowâEunchae, sheâs looking for me.â The anxiety in your tone is evident, as you just shrugged it off and made yourself confident enough to face Eunchae soon.Â
The driver laughs as he reassures you a little, lighting the mood up a little. âI know she would be happy to meet you, just watch out on creating a damn controversyâthe cameras can catch anything so you just need to be nonchalant as we leave the vicinity.â
You nod and smile, thanking the driverâs advice and possibly, the words of wisdom. âThanks.â
Itâs just a couple of turns before you fetch Eunchae as the driver says, so you compose yourself to be presentable and even hide your identity as much as you can, avoiding suspicion as a ding on your phone averts your attention, and it was Chaewon.
kim_ssamachi - 16:32 â âBetter treat her right, dummy.â
Yeah, you should do just that or youâll be a dead man to their leader.
You can see that familiar white frame in the distance, revealing such curves and that outfit accentuates her beauty, all throughout. Youâll say this now, the media didnât do her justice with the way she looks incredibly gorgeous in person (as the other people online say, youâll wholeheartedly agree with them).
As the car slowly decelerates to a complete stop, you see such a beautiful woman waving her fans goodbye, before somebody assists her to get on the car. Then, both of your eyes meet as you can feel your heart racing, exchanging smiles that will last until the end of the night. Youâre allured with the sight of her, but in order to keep this secret, you compose yourself, a faux class under pressure.
âYou look great, Eunchae.â
âSo are you.â She replies, beaming a smile as the door closes, then the car moves swiftly in the right pace.
As the car traverses slowly down the narrow roads and onto the highway, the driver asks, âTo your place, maâam? Or toââ
Respectfully and eagerly, Eunchae replies, âTo his place, rather. Thank you, driver-nim!â
Then, there she goes, ultimately whipped for you as she places her hands onto your thighs, then the other reaches to unbutton your top as you stop her because this isnât the time, yet. âSlow down, Eunchaeâdonât you even want to talk about how everything went?â
âEverything went great! But please~â The switch on her exposes your Achillesâ heel, not to mention the way sheâs staring at youâthose full, doe-eyes shining in need, an utter need to feel you. âPlease, I need this.â
She does. She really fucking does and you should get yourself ready.
âCanât contain it, Eunchae? Thatâs surprising of you.â
âHow so?â Eunchae asks, slightly rhetorical in tone as she follows, âI need you right now and I know you need me too.â
Sheâs right and you canât deny it even if you say you want to. You find yourself staring at a national treasure, a monumental sight as from head to toe, sheâs defining what real beauty is and how every inch of her is admirable. Your hands find the side of her waist, as you make her tiny figure face you, then continue to stare at her beautiful eyes. âWell, I really canât deny anything because youâre right.â
Her hands find the buttons of your top, undressing it as your lips finds hers, stirring down into a passionate exchange as her taste is like a drug, insatiable and unable to let go. She tastes as great as you rememberâthat favorite fruity matte lipstick she uses and herself, and thatâs enough to deepen the kiss, her reciprocating as her nails dig deeper to your clothed back.
You just hope the driver isnât too distracted with the hot scene happening on the backseat, but you trust him, knowing heâs professional and trustworthy enough to keep everything a secret.
âNeed it now, pleaseâŠâ Eunchae pleads with you, as you find her neck, peppering it with pecks as her faint moans enables you to keep on going.
âEnlighten me, Eunchae.â Another kiss on the other side, your hands finding her flexing abdomen through the white clothing. âSpeak up for me, darling.â
Her hands find your abdomen, teasing your pelvis as her actions are louder than her words, finding your clothed nether region yet your hands finds hers and directed it towards your shoulders. âSpeak to me, baby.â
Your words just weaken her, and itâs evident with how her ragged breaths are heard as you mark her neck, and her hands shaking and roaming all over you in need.
âWant to feel youâwant you to fuck me, please.â The wanton cry was the last string, and you need to fulfill it.
Finding the edge of her pants, you zip the troublesome clothing carefully as itâs too expensive to be ruined yet itâs a gamble youâre willing to play on. Mutually, you let her undress your bottom half too but not all the way, finding your boxers as her hands skate towards the band of it, eyeing your already hard cock. âGod, itâs already hard.â
You chuckle as your hand finds her panties through her unbuckled pants, teasing her and earning such a sultry moan against your lips. You now kiss her soft lips passionately while your fingers sense a familiar spot, a wet one as she finds your hard shaft, her thumb circling around your sensitive tip which elicits that moan in you.
âFuck, Iâve missed this, Eunchaeâdonât worry, Iâll give you everything you want.â
âIâll do my bestâahh, please keep doing thatâŠâ Sheâs whining, knees shuddering as your fingers dug deeper into her as her assurance enables you to let yourself out. She gives your head the familiar massage, her thumb continues circling it as the rest of the length experiences her leisure strokes, pleasurable albeit painful due to the lack of lubrication.
You didnât just come to fetch her and just leave it as it is, because you know how things will end so you came prepared.
âLather your hand with the lube in the glovebox there, that should make things easier.â It will sure aid for a ton, if she can even get herself to lean over and get the familiar bottle when youâre eagerly fingering her wet cunt. You can just feel the throbs of her pussy with each thrust you do, adding another finger to keep the chase going as her hands shiver due to the immense pleasure sheâs currently experiencing.
âOh lordây-youâre really good at that, fuckâjust keep on doing that!â
âYouâre being behind, darling.â You tease her as she hastily lathers her hand with the lubrication, not giving a damn if it stains her outfit or all over the leather seat. âCome and do the same to me too.â
If she can even rival you, because itâs going to be a challenge as you increase the pace of your thrusts, her cunt clenching every time you hit a certain spot as the wet spot becomes apparent between her clothed thighs. She starts stroking you off and this time, sheâs not letting herself be controlled over you as she fights with her own arsenal, steadily stroking your cock, from top to bottom which makes you grunt as your actions start to fade a little.
Your ego says no, so you see this as a challenge and fucks her cunt like youâre proving her who is really in control.
âFuck youâgod, pleaseââ Eunchae chokes on her own spit right after, as she maintains jerking you off through the fabric, spewing such miniscule amounts of precum, indicating that sheâs enabling you too and getting yourself closer to the edge. âIâm getting close!â
âAlready, Eunchae? Gosh, you really are needy.â You tease her, a borderline degradation as she doesn't care what happens outside as her focus is averted towards her high and how great your fingers feel in her messy pussy.
âItâs just your fingersâjust your fucking fingers!â This side of Eunchae is unseen by many, and thatâs a side worth cherishing if youâre going to be asked, because as her carnal grunts and herself being so disheveled is something that enables you to do more, and give her that.
She maintains her strokes on you albeit challenging due to how sheâs currently a different person with just your digits up in her filthy cunt, and with that beautiful face debauched, you need to bless her with something else at your disposal.
Your lips find hers and unlike before, itâs messy, sloppy and downright pornographicâher tongue finds yours, dancing in-tandem as her lips devours yours, even her teeth pulling yours as the pain stings yet the pleasure behind it is the blessing in disguise. Her spit coats your chin as her princess-esque facade minutes ago stirred down to a fucked-up beauty of Eunchae, half-disheveled as she longs with your taste for every second that counts, her moans vibrating against your lips as she nears her epic high.
âThatâs itââ Eunchae pulls out of your snug embrace, hissing as her strokes become idle, now directing her arms towards your neck as you make her face you. âIâm gonna fucking cum.â
âNo.â You retort, which earns a puzzled face from her, masking the disappointment as you elicit those words. âIâll make you cum if I say so. Right now, we canât afford to mess up this outfit of yours, weâre still going outside, remember?â
âBut pleaseââ Her eyes really test you, but youâre man of your word, as patience will be the greatest virtue here. ââI canât hold it anymore.â
You can tell, because of how wet her cunt is and how each thrust produces that squelching sound synonymical of something filthy where the other party nears euphoria.Â
âNo, Eunchae. Weâre nearing my place too. Youâre going to be my good girl and if you really are one, then I will give you everything you need, understand?â
Eunchae nods as you find her those soft lips again, but this time, the kiss evokes something passionate thatâs been burning inside your hearts. You smile with her obedience, as you signal the driver something, âPlease, donât tell anyone about this, alright?â
âYouâll have my word, sir.â
God. Eunchae made you do this, and youâre willing to take the bait because of her, and youâre now going to be digging deep into your own abysmal burrow.
---
Thank god no one suspected the both of you as the publicity dives into irrelevance, feeling free and feisty towards Eunchae because as soon as you step in your hotel room as your bodyguards leave the both of you alone, you wasted no time to show how much youâve wanted Eunchae too.
âYouâre such a great kisserâoh god, please keep doing that.â As so you did, marking your territory as the porcelain skin of her neck earns a bruise-like aftermath and itâs something to let the others know who she truly belongs to.Â
âIâd say youâve improved a lot tooâmaybe learning a thing or two with Chaewon, hm?â
âNo, donât, please.â You continue kissing her as she moans to your touch, her voice a little raspy due to how well everything is coursing in her veins. âDonât mention anyone today, not even my unniesâjust me, please.â
You assure her that, and nodded as her hand found your lips when you pulled away, just inches away from her as her well-manicured fingers tease your lower lips and your admiration wasn't verbal as you grasp her wrists and suck onto her fingers, her moaning just to enable you more.
âEven my fingers too? Wow, you really surprised me.â
âEvery inch of you is perfect, Eunchae.â You pull out of her saliva-sheated fingers to commend her, then avert your eyes to meet hers. âSo thatâs why it needs to be worshipped.â
âYou need it tooâŠâ Eunchae inches herself near you, cupping your cheeks as she whispers near your ear. âNeed to worship your cock.â
Fuck. Her voice, rightfully deep, sultry and sexy and that alone enables you to execute every fantasy in your head with Eunchae.
âCome get your wish then, darling.â You start undressing your bottom-half and only leaving your boxers on, as she gets on her knees but you insist, because thereâs something that needs to be done and youâre going to be vocal with it. âBut first, stripâjust want those panties and your heels on.â
She didnât hesitate, in fact, even eager to do it as itâs evident on those big eyes of hers, her gleeful smile an indication to send you her invitation. Her clothing was an easy task to undress for her, her top merely considered as one to begin with was dismantled by ease, the two bits of it off and towards the chair near and god, those sizable tits are there for you to gawk over.
âInteresting outfit, ainât it, Eunchae?â
âYeahâŠâ She continues undressing herself as she reaches for her pants now, still initiating the talk with you. âStylist-nim was really great with this. A little revealing and I hope everybody liked this.â
You compliment her, genuinely. âEvery outfit you carry becomes beautiful, Eunchaeâyou look gorgeous here.â
It is, and the mass media will concur with that statement. Eunchae blushes right after, chuckling a little as she finds herself in a smooth flow of movements, successful with the way she undresses everything and towards the chair, a piece of clothing worth a fortune now discarded somewhere like itâs just normal clothing.Â
With everything almost off, itâs like seeing a perfectly-sculpted artwork chiseled by the gods above, and they had bestowed you the best there is as every curve of her is beyond perfectionâgenerally, maybe itâs subjective but you donât give a damn because Eunchae is perfect in every way.
She inches towards you as you admire her body, from head to toe but then, you know she needs to do what sheâs intended to do. âGod, youâre perfect, Eunchae.â
She just smiles as she sinks down, on her knees as she discarded your boxers on the way down to your ankles, and you can just see how the mood lights up as she sees her deserved prize right in front of her. She wastes no time as the foreplay would be gone, down the gutter as with just a few, livid strokes she dives right in and keeps herself attended, taking you in half-way. She does what sheâs best at, bobbing her head up and down your shaft as her hand finds your thighs, hugging it gently as she devours your entire length right after, gagging then pulling out.
âYou gotta chill, Eunchaeâweâre going to be here all day so justâgod, okay, nevermind.â She cuts you off with her heavenly mouth, those lips hugging every inch of where her limit is as her head dictates the pace, moderate with each stroke as her hand finds your balls and she knows what to do with it.
If you got her fucked up earlier, then sheâll give back what she received.
Eunchaeâs suction in each three bobs or two is immaculate, albeit feeling a little off with the way the serrated culprit in her mouth provides that little pain. It didnât even matter when her lips are such a perfect fit as an invitation for your cock to wring pleasure out on, and her mouth becoming a great outlet to let yourself feel in cloud nine. You find those dark-colored locks as an outlet to fight the pleasure and Eunchae sees this as a step closer to something great, and that alone made her up the ante.
âKeep that pace, Eunchaeâshit, youâre doing really great, baby.â As she oscillates a little more, she pulls out as she directs her eyes towards yours and now worships the very thing she loves.
She pecks everything her lips can touch while maintaining that deadly eye contact to you as she averts her attention towards your shaft, continuing with the worshipping as her tongue licks what it can touch too, and earns a little shiver on your thighs.
âDo I feel good? Am I doing good for you?âÂ
Ultimately, she is doing a stupendous job at it albeit not perfectâit doesnât help that your expectations are heightened due to Yunjinâs incredible expertise when it comes to blowjobs, but Eunchae isnât falling off too much either. You reassure her that sheâs indeed doing a great job at it as every grunt you elicit is a message to let her know how good sheâs doing you. She alternates between her bobs and kisses, making sure every inch is lathered with her spit and blessed by her touch, tasting every inch as she slurps at it like itâs her favorite mealâfor sure, it can be considered as one at this point with the way she slobbers over you and gawks over your length.
She never stops her oral assault up on your dick, as more seconds flow in the state of time, the more depraved the scenes get and itâs just getting started.
Eunchae looks more disheveled than ever before and it's a debauched sight youâre grateful to see seldomlyâher drool a mess all over her chest and her neck, her makeup running down her cheeks, her hair an utter mess and a pool of juices onto the floor. Every filthy fantasy that has been running in your mind becomes true in a matter of minutes as once she pulls out to worship your throbbing cock again, you hold her head by her hair, enunciating your control as you slap your soaked length all over her face, blessing her. She takes every slap across her face as something worth to fulfill for, as every time it hits her pristine skin, she moans with the feeling of it and youâre bathing to your victory.
âLook at you, Eunchaeâtaking my cock so well. You really are a dirty cocksucker arenât you?â
Her eyes meet yours again as she licks the base of your length, and towards the mushroom tip, earning that audible moan from you from how sensitive sheâs making you feel. âI amâI am a dirty cocksuckerâthank you for this, f-fuck, I canât ask for anything more.â
Then, she dives in again yet this time, sheâs testing her absolute limits as her head bobs in a pace unimaginable, fucking herself while taking almost whole of your length and with this action alone, this is crumbling your defenses down.
Even if she isnât vocal with it, you can tell how grateful Eunchae is with the way she does the dirty work on your cock, doing everything to her power to show you how she deserves it and how sheâs going to earn the reward. She keeps teasing your sensitive head, then alternates to blow you to the point of no-return as again, you find her locks and grasp a hefty amount of it, signaling how great her mouth truly feels.
At this point, itâs building to the point where you canât take it anymore, and you hope she notices this because you have plans.
âGet off, EunchaeâIâm fucking close.â She does what sheâs told you, pulling out with a loud pop, strings of saliva still connected from your tip and on her lips.
âUhmâIâdidnât I do good?â Her tones say it all, feigning curiosity and anxiety with thoughts running in her head when everything eliciting was all a mere joke.Â
Even if she thinks she did a bad job, at your end, she never did one. In fact, youâd even say she did an impressive attempt on such a pleasurable oral assault on your cock, but then you reassure her that you have your own plans, because what is an artwork without a medium, and the paint that made the beauty possible.
âIâm just gonna paint your pretty face, darlingâtake it all for me, Eunchae.â You wasted no time in doing that, and sheâs just there, her eyes close, tongue sticking out and ready for the taking, and that almost-naked body of hers thatâs begging to be fucked.
You stroke into your high as the familiar feeling in your loins succumbs to the finale, spurting thick shots of cum towards her nose, lips, cheeks, neck and some dollops even painting her chest. Her moans possibly extend your orgasm, pumping every ounce of your seed out and towards Eunchaeâs face.
âFucking hell, Eunchae.â You grunt as her besmirched countenance earns a core memory from you, those eyes of hers feigning innocence that rivals the filth thatâs all over her. Sheâs a brilliant girl, not even wasting a second to clean your cock off, licking every inch where you cum still settles (mostly in the tip) and fondling your balls leisurely, making sure that everything should be deposited on her face.
Well, thatâs what she thought.
âReally hungry for me, arenât you?â
âCanât help it.â Eunchae continues her expertise, cleaning every inch possible as she faces you again. âNot when a cock this good and a cum this delicious is all there for me to savor.â
You cup her jaw, scoop a generous amount of your seed thatâs on her cheek and direct it towards her lips, and as enthusiastic as her, she intends to suck every sample out of your fingers. Itâs sloppy, messy, and itâs fucked up but thatâs the beauty of it in this moment and as you feel like she tasted enough, you helped her get up as the main event still needs to take in place, and you canât just ignore it when you can see the wetness on her panties.
âThat was thickâgod, I hope you still have something for me.â
You face her, and admire that curvy body for the umpteenth time as your ferocious strength catches her off-guard, yelping as you turn her around and commanding her arms to lean against the porcelain wall. âOf course, darlingâwould always be something for you because youâve been such a good girl to me.â
The invitation is there, and her wiggling her ass was just a tease for you as she knows where this will possibly go.Â
âPlease give it to me nowâwant it inside, pleaseâŠâ The way she pleads is just music to your ears and you can listen to it all day, but then, you donât want Eunchae to really be pleading all day for that.
Sheâs too fucking insatiable to make yourself be disciplined, so youâre just going to be diving yourself deeper into depraved territory. âDonât worryâitâs not going to be long before my cock lives inside you for the time being, darling.â
You caress her naked top-half, caressing her sizable tits which of course, earns a moan from her and pinching those nipples for good measure. It doesnât become long before she bends over in such an obscene angle, and that alone invites you to push it in and have your way with her.
âHave your way with me, pleaseâwant it so bad.âÂ
You caress her ass, as you mouthed how youâre going to fulfill what she wants as you shove her panties aside, leaving your eyes to see that glistening cunt thatâs ready for the taking.
âTell me when you canât take it, okay?â You reassure her as your cock teases her leaking slit, and sheâs already whining from need which makes your question take a few seconds before it registers on her end.Â
âOkay, okayâI can take it, donât go easy on me.â
As she wishesâyouâre the genie that will grant that.
You insert it and elicit a sound from her that youâve never heard before, and itâs crumbling you down, her dulcet tone urging you to keep your sluggish as it is. The way she hugs you is incredible, walls clenching everything you hit the spot and her repeated lewd sounds that just enables you to keep on going. You hand supports her frame by her hips, while the other caresses her neglected breasts, making sure that sheâs stimulated as possible and you can see how it is really being effective.
âPlease fuck me harderâplease do, I can take it.â Eunchae whines right after, as you dictate a pace thatâs enough to consider as something that can truly send shockwaves out of her body. The hypnotic jiggles of her back-end is truly a sight to behold as she keeps herself busy, positioning herself to stand as sturdy as she can because every thrust your hips muster is now enough to really bring her into incoherence.
You keep your pace and she keeps her vocal cords trained well, moaning angelically as the walls contain her honeyed sounds, even containing the depriving sight from the both of you. Your hands are all occupied with each of their job fulfilling the utmost pleasure from Eunchae as much as possible and now with her constant pleas to go rougher, you now introduce something that she possibly wants to experience.
âFuck! Thatâthatâs so f-fucking good!â
âDid it hurt? Are you good, Eunââ
âYes, it feels fucking good! Slap me again pleaseâoh fuck!â You fulfill her wishes, now introducing another method in making her feel the utmost euphoria, by introducing pain into the mix. Her butt prints a familiar rosy hue due to the spanks youâre delivering, as every moan she elicits, grunt you let out, skin that slaps against each other, the wet squelch of her cunt and the reverberating smacks on her ass, orchestrates that very piece of symphony that should be counted in the history books.
Each piece does its job, and itâs wholeheartedly a masterpiece.
Each thrust you do spirals her towards the edge, her heels clacking in tandem with your thrusts as there are points where she even raises her legs, and just stomps down as sheâs slowly losing control of herself. You just withdraw with the tip inside and plunge back in, filling her up to hilt as the series of events repeat, and slowly, you can even find yourself on the brink of losing it too.
âGod, you really are tight, princessâfuck, tell me how great it feels, Eunchae.â
It barely registers in her as it takes seconds for her to respond, and this one, is not so eloquent as before. âF-feels fucking goodâahh, godâfuck, the way youâre f-fucking me isâow, ahh, itâs just too good! T-thank you!â
Her brain is in a haywire due to you, and you canât stop even if you want to because the both of you canât simply do it, even if it needs to. She eagerly assures that sheâs fine and thatâs all that matters, even with her possibly crumbling down, her legs in a weaker state, wobbling due to the immense pleasure sheâs experiencing. You elevate the pace, and now even setting your eyes to even stimulate her more as gone are the times where you pinch her nipples to earn the most eargasmic moans possible, but not averted your attention towards that inviting asshole, puckering and loosening on every thrust you do.
âFuck! Oh god, Iâgod, that feels good!â You slot your finger up that asshole of hers, pushing in and out repeatedly in a leisure pace as she seems to be enjoying it, and that alone lets you discover her limits in taking you.
âMaybe this is the next hole Iâll fuck once Iâm done with your pussy, would you like that, princess?â The name makes her submit to you even more, as you fuck her all and throughout each words she say, her coherence battling the messed-up circuits in her brain.
âI donât care anymoreâfuck, uhm, as long as y-you fuck me right and give me your l-loadâgosh, please.â Her wanton cries are sounds youâll never get tired of, and with the familiar constrictions of her pussywalls on your length, you know the inevitable is coming.
âWe can possibly do it someday, Eunchae, but for nowââ Your fingers exit her tight, snug hole and find her clit, rubbing it as it brings her closer to the edge, your pace enough to break her in half (figuratively, of course). âCum on this cock, princess.â
She does, and itâs a beautiful mess.
Eunchae squirts all over your length, repeatedly ramming her tightness as you fuck her through such a groundbreaking orgasm, her moans over the roof and as beautiful as it gets. In all honesty, youâre commending by how sheâs still standing straight and bending over without even breaking her position at least for a single moment, and this obscene sight is now imprinted in your brainâher rightfully tall figure bending over with her heels still on, and her panties just set aside is downright pornographic, a beauty in its raw art.
You eventually slow down and pull out which earns a whine from her, where her dying seconds of her orgasm commences and itâs so fucking hot that you might even blow it right there are there, all over her redenned ass.
Speaking of that, you think thatâs how you should end this monstrosity.
So, now you're considering the final play.
You insert your shaft inside her again, grunting from the tightness that envelops you but now, you want something to do that will make the experience elevated from both ends.
The pace you dictate is the same as before but this time, her mouth is now occupied with something else, your fingers and she sucking on them like how she sucked you off earlierâwanton, sloppy and needy. The vibrations of her moans on your fingers silences the whole room a little, a piece off yet the suppression turns you on even more, noticing how each indistinguishable moan elicited is just enough to throw you off. You gag her a little but she doesnât complain but rather slobber over it more as the seconds go by. The depraved scene from the both of you is just monumental that when somebody catches the both of you, theyâll be seated for a show, and probably the people outside are getting the gist on whatâs happening in your roomâthatâs a mere fantasy, but you could never be so sure.
You continue thumbing her asshole as your fingers pull out of her slutty mouth, now directing it towards the curves of her now sweating back, tracing every perfect inch of it as the hypnotic trance sends you into overdrive. As much as you want to prolong this euphoric feeling, the inevitable will also soon come, and she can sense the way youâre moaning her name and how itâs repeatedly throbbing inside her pussy.
âYouâre gonna c-cum? Oh god, pleaseâd-do it inside, pleaseââ That earns a spank, and it makes her hiss from the pain.
âDonât tell me what to do.â You gradually slow down, then pull out of her, earning another whine from her and a plea that breaks you. Any sane man would never pull out on a heavenly cunt like Eunchaeâs, but thereâs something in you that ignites bright seeing your cum painted all over her skin.
Youâve made your decision, and thereâs nothing that she can do but embrace it as her figure remains sturdy, reading for a round two, and this time, all over her perfectly-sized buttcheeks.
âYouâll earn it someday, princessâmaybe it can be whenever Chaewon comes to watch or tomorrow, who knows?â You can see Eunchae looking back over her shoulder, as she watches your wrists muster the fastest of strokes and as the inevitable comes, you release it, everything.
The plane of her ass gets painted white, plenty from the divot and of course, plenty from her inviting holes, her asshole collecting some as it constricts due to your constant teases near it. You keep pumping until every last drop is deposited all over her ass, and youâre certain that youâre completely drained as you keep yourself steady from the exhaustion as Eunchaeâs in the same boat. You pull her near you, as you keep her back checked from the feeling of your soft lips peppering it with kisses, tasting the miniscule flavor of salt from her sweat and her insatiability.
âI really think you shouldâve came inside me, still.â
You chuckle as the both of you meet each other's eyes again, stating such assuring words, âLike I said, maybe someday, princessâyou really did a great job today.â
You peck her back, three kisses as you continue, âYou looked spectacular at that fashion event. Iâm sure everyone will be head over heels for you.â
âLike youâŠâ Then, the both of you exchange laughs as the recovery period commences, yet you have plans to waste the night in Paris that is worth both your time, not just pure sex.
âI think we really need to clean up, princess.â
âWe really do. Besides, thereâs a lot for you to catch up on.â
You just hope these walls couldnât talk themselves for the events that unveiled today, or the both of you will be fucked, and itâs a serious matter. Maybe no one noticed, and even if the day was young, it feels like itâs just getting started as the first play was a success. Even if sheâs the youngest, youâre eager to hear her out and to follow her lead at times, and on this day, youâre curious on what she may have in store for you because this day was specifically planned to be with her, to yearn for her.Â
Youâve got good at itâreading the signs. Sensing the shift in her before she even moves.
Asa, sidling up. Pressing every soft, dangerous inch of herself against you. Giving you that lookâlips pushed out in the brattiest pout, eyes heavy and starving for attention.
Deciding, all on her own, that itâs been far too long since she's had your hands on her ass, fingers marking up her skin. Since she's had your cock, rutting deep into her tight cunt and replacing every ache with something meaner.
Her breath hits your ear. Hot. Sweet pretence. All fake innocence pinned to a single question: âDo you wanna know what Iâm thinking?â
You donât reply. Never do.
Itâs always the same damn thing.
She canât help it. Sheâs just wired this way.
Straight from whatever factory cranks out these flawless dolls, only they either messed up with Asa or made her the upgradeâedges filed sharper, running at a temperature thatâs frankly unbearable.
See, on the surface, the frameworkâs all perfect: the high cheekbones, the wide-eyed blushâthe kind of face thatâs designed to be stared at.
But look closer.
Trace where the image starts to drift. Heavy, ink-dark smudge of eyeliner. Lethal cut of her jaw. That smile. Itâs dangerous. Itâll lodge in your brain for the rest of the dayârearrange everythingâand itâs just dangling there off the corner of her hot-pink lips.
Throw in the coup de grĂące: the strip of midriff she refuses to hide. Sure, sheâll dip a baseball cap over her eyes, wear a facemask to cover her mouth, but those abs must always be on displayâthe lean, hard promise of just how punishingly tight sheâs going to feel when you finally get inside her.
âAsa,â you warn, a half-hearted dismissal. You keep your eyes on the large screen at the front of the theatre. Thereâs a hero, a damsel, a car chase. All the hits. âIâm trying to watch.â
Itâs more of a courtesy than anything, not giving in too fast.
Wouldnât want to spoil your girl.
But sheâs completely tuned out the screen. Thereâs a car crash playing a couple dozen feet in front of her, all fire and twisted metal, but she couldnât care less.
âPlease,â she tries. Testing the waters. Falling back on old tricks.
You sigh.
Youâre supposed to be the voice of reason here. Officially: her choreographer, dance teacher. Paid to instruct her how to move, to drill proper form into her. Not just⊠drill her.
The fact that she looks this goodâthatâs on you.
Donât need to see her mouth beneath her mask to know sheâs pouting right now. Easy enough to picture: plump lip out, jutting. Not that itâs needed. Her eyes are doing all the heavy lifting anyway.
She keeps at it, working her way through her favourites, âPlease, coach.â
You roll your eyes. Asa clocks it. Decides to work harder.
âSir,â thereâs an uptick in her tone, the beginnings of a whine, and she keeps running down the list, âboss,â and sheâs even closer now, nuzzling into your space. The armrest is already up, the only barrier cleared between your seats. And itâs the silhouette of herâsharp angles locked in deep shadows, framed like sin.
Those endless legs peeking out of her shorts. The plunging neckline of her low-cut top. The far-too-familiar curve of her hips.
Close enough to feel the humid heat of her breath. Itâs trapped under the mask, hitting your skin damp and heavy. You can hear her stuttering something muffled; low whispers. Dialogue a hell of a lot more interesting than any script could cook up.
The things sheâs telling you.
Oh, Asaâs got kinks on top of kinks. Exhibitionism, obviously. Desperate to be seen, adored, watchedâreason enough to become an idol.
And yet, this is her favourite game. She knows the stakesâgetting caught, ruining herself, her career, the carefully curated image. Willing to torch it all for a big cock and a generous helping of cum spilling out of her.
You can feel it pouring off herâher heart slamming against your shoulder, begging for what comes next. Itâs the lead-up to the biggest kink of them allâthe one she cries out every time you end up tangled together, the confession she spills when she finally unravelsâin quiet moments, loud ones.
(After youâve left her limp from fucking her inside and out, and youâre cradling her from behind and she just canât let it go. Sheâll guide your palm down from her tits to the curve of her stomach. Needing you to feel it. The ridge, the ripple, the little piercing thereâa bullseye for what she really wants.
âImagine it,â sheâll tell you, sounding like sheâs caught somewhere between worshipping you and pleading for your mercy, âImagine me. Filled with your cum. So deep in my belly.â
Itâs the word thatâs always dancing on her tongue, so easy to say, like itâs automatic.
âYou could do it, you know? Make me yoursâforever. Breed me, knock me up, you could be myââ)
âDaddy.â
âAsa,â you try again. Your brain isnât offering much else.
âCome on,â she says, leaning into it, zero interest in pretending otherwise. âIâm gonna, like, die if I donât have your hands on me soon.â
You nod toward the empty rows ahead. Reminding her just how little privacy exists here. Aware that youâre poking at the flame but, well, fuck itâyou have far less at risk here. Besides, denying her is half the fun. âYouâre the one who wanted to come here.â
"And youâre the one who picked the seats and the session,â she answers. Sheâs already scanning the dark. âPut us right in the back corner. Thereâs like, three other people here. Iâm sure theyâd be more entertained by this than whatever the fuckâs happening up there.â
Sheâs not wrong.
âCanât we just skip the part where we pretend to disagree? Get to when you start calling me all those names, and Iâm cumming all over your gorgeous cock?â She offers, way too casually for your liking. âItâs been so longâ"
âItâs barely been a day.â
âTwenty-four whole hours.â
Youâve tried to train it out of her. Girls like herâeverything comes easy. And yeah, itâs for good reason tooâsheâs insanely hot, no secret there. But sheâs also barely hitting twenty. Young, sure, but the age gap? Hairline fracture, not a canyon. But just enough of a reach to give her the leverage she needs.
The âDaddyâ of it all, the kink she cultivates. Knowing the spin it puts on your whole student-teacher dynamic. A girl who should be out partying with classmates. Insteadâdevoted to begging her big, strong⊠whatever you are. Dance partner. Dildo.
âDaddy,â she says again, lingering on the word. Like itâs something sweet. Worth hanging onto. Itâs such an easy out for her.
Her whining finally gets to you. Has you turning away from the flashing screen to look down at her.
She capitalises on it immediately. Preens. Uses a touch of her natural charm and all of her distracting cleavage. Watches you from underneath the dark sweep of those lashes.
Itâs unfair. This is the one routine sheâs got down perfectly.
But you donât give her the satisfaction yet. Just raise an eyebrow. Youâve always enjoyed the preamble more than she doesâthereâs a certain joy in seeing her squirm. Making her work for it.
âReally?â The question comes out low, hitting that note you usually save for instruction. You canât help it. Itâs reflex around her. âHere, Asa?â
Asa blinks, unable to see the issue. Looking up with that faux-innocence that doesnât stand a chance against your scrutiny. âWhy not? Howâs it different from anywhere else?â
Instinct has you moving before you can talk yourself out of it. You reach out, a thumb against her chin, a finger hooked under to tilt her face up. Getting a better angle.
She helps you, pressing into your palm to snag the maskâs strap. Tugs it down, letting it bunch at her chin before it slips free.
When it finally drops, her mouth is right there. Open. Spilling these hot, needy breaths over your fingers. Eager to place a kiss on your shoulder, before trailing up, closer and closer to your neck. Ready to plead her case.
âYou never had a problem backstageââ Her lips graze your jaw, hot and slow.
(Fuck. Instant replay: green room, stage makeup just put on, legs spread on the vanity while you knelt and ate her out slowâtongue dragging until she was shaking, tasting like salt and adrenaline. Sending her out dripping, curtain up, crowd screaming, none the wiser.)
She shifts, breath ghosting your cheek. Teeth snag your earlobe. ââor on our plane ridesââ
(Turbulence rattling the cabin, blanket over your lap, her head hidden underneath. Choking herself down on your cock, gagging quiet every time the plane dippedâdeeper with each bump, eyes watering when you finally spilled down her throat.)
Her mouth trails higher. âYou loved cumming between my thighs on that train, remember?â
(Packed car at rush hour. Crushed against the door like tourists. Her back to your chest, hand snaking behind to guide you between her thighsâjust slick heat and smooth skin. Every lurch of the tracks made her squeeze tighter, milking you until you came across her legs, both of you pretending like she hadnât just figured out your deepest, repressed fantasy.)
âAnd youâve never had a problem fucking me after practice.â
(That first time. Sweat-soaked studio, mirrors everywhere. She cornered you. This sweet young thing, the casual hand on your arm, holding tight. You actually fell for the act, thought it was just innocent charm for a better spot in the lineupâa little more time front and centre.
If only you knew.
The first time she asked if you could read her mind.
No words. Just spun her to face the reflection, pinned her there, ripped the sports bra off her, tore a hole in those leggings. Fucked her against the glass until the mirror fogged and she was calling your name into her own warped image.)
And here she is again.
Same impatient smile. Clock ticking down. Eyes dropping to your lips for half a second.
âHavenât I been a good girl?â
Ah, fuck it.
The movieâs pretty shit anyway.
Your answerâs always the sameâa hand clasped on the back of her neck, the other gripping her thigh, and your mouth hard against hers.
Asa melts.
It isnât a soft kiss. She wouldnât let it be. Already biting at your lip, nails digging into your chest, through the fabric. Pulled together so tight the brim of her hat knocks against your browâthen itâs gone, tumbling somewhere between the rows.
Sheâs flush against you, but itâs still not close enough. Still not satisfied, scrambling into your lapâone knee braced on the seat, the other hooked over your thigh.
Itâs a mess. A starving, desperate thing. Sheâs losing track of where she is, her world narrowing down to your hands and nothing else.
See, Asa lives for thisâyou squeeze and sheâs smiling against your mouth, letting out these shaky, happy sighs that tell you that thereâs nowhere else sheâd rather be.
Itâs like running your fingers over heated stone, nothing soft that isnât backed by muscleâthat lean dancerâs build. Youâre deeper in her mouth now, tongue taking what it wants while your hand maps the line of her shoulder, dropping down to catch the weight of her tits.
Your other hand is having a hell of a time with her shorts. Practically painted on her skin, vacuum-sealed over her hips. Youâve got your fingers hooked into the waistband, but the denim is stubborn, snagging hard on the curve of her.
Asa makes this low, frustrated sound against your lips.
Itâs a battleâan inch-by-inch victory, Asa arching back and lifting herself off the seatâuntil the fabric finally gives.
The second you slip past the edge and slide insideâfingers finally finding bare, slick heatâAsa jerks taut. Whole body arching, hips snapping forward to chase the contact, breath fracturing into something dangerously close to a whimper.
You don't let it escape.
Your palm instinctively clamps hard over her mouth, muffling the sound before it can grow.
She doesn't fight it.
Noâshe welcomes the restraint. Leans forward until her lips part against your skin, tongue flicking wet against your palm. Low, filthy moans vibrating straight through your bones, each one a little wetter, a little more broken.
You can feel the exact second she decides this is better: your hand sealing her shut while your fingers slide deeper inside her shorts, stretching that denim, making her drip down onto your digits.
No lace to meet youâsheâs bare underneath.
Why wouldnât she be? She never wears anything on the off chance that you might actuallyâinevitablyâtouch her.
âAsa,â you say, teasing. Unable to help the grin plastered across your face. âKeep it down. People can hear you.â
She draws back. Just enough. Lips drag slow across your thumb, soft and deliberate. Fixated. Gone. âSo what?â She whimpers, voice cracking high. âLet them.â
Itâs dumb as hell to let things get this stupid. You strive to keep your books clean, keep things on the straight and narrow. Fuck, half your job is centred around maintaining discipline.
But honestly? Try pretending itâs all some unfortunate accident. Like youâre the poor, unwilling teacher who just got dragged into the temptation of his student.
(Asaâbarely dressed, dignity in tatters. Like you never wanted her this obsessed, this unhinged for you.)
You lean close, lips grazing the shell of her ear. âWho taught you to act like this?â
She doesnât hesitateâanswer slurring hot and wet against your palm: âYou did, Daddy.â
Jesus Christ.
You pull her closer, hand staying, muffling her, and glance around. Just a handful of people scattered at the far ends of the theatreâsafe distance, for now.
Not that Asa even cares. Sheâs already past words. Busy chasing her breath the second you finally lean some real weight into those fingertips.
To her credit, sheâs holding back the worst of it; all you get are those high, pretty moans when your fingers finally take the full measure of her aching pussy. Her folds part so easilyâred, swollen. So ready for you.
She wriggles, trying to force her shorts lower, but thereâs barely enough room to move. You just drag a slow, punishing circle around her clitâteasing that makes her cry.
âGahââ she chokes against your palm, the rest dissolving into shaky, broken sounds. Itâs every pressâher thighs clamp and release in frantic pulses, like she canât process it. âThank you, thank you, thank you.â
Sheâs just so soaked. Like, embarrassingly soaked.
Most girls donât fall apart this hard, this quick. They moan, maybe whimper a bit. They donât flood your hand like this, donât leave the denim dark and heavy, donât sob these quiet, wrecked little hitches the second your fingers finally get to work.
âFucking hell, Asa,â youâre saying, but youâre the last person that should be surprised.
You taught her how to use every inch of that body, every pose that gets the cameras hard. This is your fault as much as hers.
âYouâre a disaster. Look at you. Havenât even got inside you yet.â
You shift your grip, letting her gulp down some air, right as the movieâs score starts to swell, drowning everything else out.
âI tried,â she rasps, pupils blown. âItâs justâyou should know. Bringing me here. Dark room, public place. Iâve been thinking about feeling you inside me since we bought the tickets.â
"Hm." You shift your weight, changing tempo. Your first finger pushes into her opening, while the knuckles of your other hand find their way past her lips. Something to bite, to gag on. "I guess youâre right.â
Her eyes go wide. Sheâs caught between the feelingâfingers spreading her open below, doing what they can in the confines of her shorts. Which is not muchâother than apply pressure. Make her feel youâfeel the potential of how much you could ruin her.
âI did bring you hereâchose this session, these seats. Because it gets me fucking hard, knowing I can have you wherever, wheneverâif I want to.â
And from the speakers above, the orchestraâs reaching its peak, and hidden in that noise, around your knuckles, Asa manages a broken, âOh God.â
Thereâs no guesswork when it comes to it. It doesnât even take much effort anymore.
Itâs almost too easyâjust you, getting your hands dirty while she unravels around your fingers. But you donât cut any corners, still putting the work in, getting messy and taking your time. Swirling a thumb around the sensitive, swollen lips before pressing down. Holding. Letting the weight of your hand remind her of the truth.
That this is it from now on. Youâfucking her up, again and again.
Stage lights. Spotlights. Camera flashesâshe steps under any of them, and youâre already there. In her head. Your fingers. Your grip. Sheâll clench at the memory and know who it is that owns that little pulse between her legs.
Thatâs how you break her. How she ends up this needy, blubbering mess every single time you touch her.
You keep her pinnedâarm wrapped behind her neck, bicep and shoulder trapping herâwhile your fingers stay lodged between those perfect lips.
âLook at me,â you tell her.
Asa obeys instantly.
Eyes drift upwards, searching for yours in the gloom. You can feel her teeth on your skin, adding to the collection. Youâve never minded the marksâtrophies, each and every one. A history written in scars.
The one on your palm from when you fucked her senseless backstage and ruined her opening outfit. Those on your knuckles from nights spent sneaking into her dorm room. Every nick and scratch is regalia, medals granted for every time she choked down your name and begged for more.
The screen flickersâbright glare sliding over the sweat slicking her cheeks, catching the way her lids keep fluttering half-shut, fighting to hold your gaze. You donât ease up. Not even a little. Yank her in harder, twist her right against you so you can really dig in, fingers shoving deep into her pussy.
Youâre being a dick and you know it. Pushing her until sheâs on the verge of a total meltdown. The swearing, the quiet âoh fucksâ, the way sheâs starting to moanâat this rate everyone in this theatre will know your name.
âYou canât even keep it together, can you?â Your voice comes out drier than you expect. You clear your throat. You want her to hear this. "People are starting to notice, Asa. Theyâre going to turn around and see what Iâm doing to you. See âperfectâ Asa being such a little slut.â
She quivers hard, her body sinking deeper down your fingers in one greedy pull. Itâs a full-body reactionâhips rolling, grindingâand Asa grits her teeth, fighting to stay quiet through it.
For the briefest second, your fingers slip free of her lips.
Asa seizes the opportunity. Words wrecked, cracked, defiant, âI donât care,â she drags in a short breath. âThey can look. I want them to knowâto seeââ
And it makes you decide to lean in, to give her what she wants. To really fuck with her head while your hand stays busy below. âYouâd like that, wouldnât you? Being my little whore in public. Getting off where anyone could just walk by and catch you.â
âYesâGodâyes,â she returns, breath snagging in her throat, âThey can watch. See how you make me. Know thatââ
You finish her sentence for herâ"Know that if I just moved my hand, fucked you a bit harder, faster, everyone in this theatre would hear how desperate you are for my cock.â
Tears streak down Asaâs cheeks, landing in your palm. Itâs too much for herâthe noise, the risk, the way youâre handling her. Has her looking up at you with this devotion.
And you find yourself saying, and realising, all at onceâ"You'll let me do whatever I want."
Asa answers, so perfectly, "I'm just a toy. Nothing but your toy, sir.â
God, youâre both feeding into this. These bad habits. Pushing each other towards something dark and just letting it happen.
Your fingers curl. Thumb presses. She's halfway to making a scene alreadyâyou cut it off. Mouth on hers, rough, impatient, tasting salt and that stupidly expensive gloss she always wears.
Her hands are fisted in your collar, white-knuckled, pulling you in until thereâs no air left between you. Sheâs trying to crawl right into your skin. Straddling a leg over your hip, trying to climb you in the dark.
Sheâs hooked on this.
The danger. The shame. Thatâs what she wants. The risk that someone might see her like this. Not the untouchable idol they all jerk off to. Just yours. Ruined. Claimed.
You drag spit-slick fingers down from her mouth, streaking her chin, straight down the column of her throat, to the stiff points tenting her shirt.
Chest thrust out, tits offering themselves to you. You slide fingers under her topâgrab a handful, squeeze hard enough that she sucks in a sharp gasp.
Asa folds right into your grip, hips canting sharply, a broken moan starting in her throat that you smother fast with another kiss.
âWay too loud,â you mutter. Itâs a useless warning. Sheâs only going to get worse.
A few rows down, someone shifts. Head turns slow, searching the dark like theyâre not sure what they heard.
Youâre just shadows mashed together. One messy outline. One shape.
But maybe if they focused, if the screen flashed white at just the right instant, theyâd see it all.
Asa: draped all over you, boneless. An expression of pure fucked-out elation on her face.
And you: hands vanished. One shoved deep in her shorts, the other crammed under her top.
Drawing these moans out of her, each one edging so close to too loud. You kiss her stupid each time to shut her up.
And sheâs only burning hotter the longer you draw it out. Same steady push-pull, finger sliding in, sliding out. No gradual build, just holding her there until tears prick her eyes and sheâs soaking your hand, cunt drooling down your digits.
Asa finally cracks, her lips leaving yours to whisper-beg right in your ear: âMy pussy's so ready for youâI can feel itââ Hot mouth glued there, trying to drag you deeper. âfasterâharderâjust one more fingerâjustâmake meââ
You curl slow, fingertips scrapingâjust enough to be cruel. Seatâs too damn tight for real leverage, but Asaâs crumbling apart anyway. You feel it allâthe insistent throb sucking at your knuckles, the low tremors rolling through her hips, her inner walls fluttering and then gripping like theyâre trying to keep you forever, that fever-hot draw pulling you deeper.
But itâs not enough. Not even close.
You can only sort of see herâoutlines, flashesâthe darkness is stealing half the view, robbing you blind of everything youâre owed.
You need to see it all.
Need the visual to match the friction: the specific, strained look on her face when your cock finally sinks deep, eyes glazing over like sheâs gone somewhere else.
Want to see those tits bouncing in time with your thrusts, tracking every inch you feed her.
More than anything, you need that flushâthe delicate pink crawling up her chest, her throatâright when she breaksâthat glorious, messy spill of her all sloppy and undone.
Sheâs climbing, breath turning jagged, about to tip overâand you pull out.
Fingers slide free, rest wet against her mound.
Nothing.
Her eyes snap open, dazed, betrayed. Body still wound tight, teetering right on the brink you just yanked her back from.
âWhy?â She's panting, voice splintering. âI was right there, I need toâIâm almostââ
âNo,â you answer. Steady, controlled. âNot now. Not here.â
Asaâs biting her lip hard enough to bruise. Lights strobe againâflashâand there it is. Eyes dark and wrecked. Fuck. Part of you wants to haul her ass right up to the front row, shove her over the railing under the big screen and just let everybody in the theatre watch.
Every single person. See you fucking her completely senseless.
Real entertainment.
You shake your head.
âThenâget me out of here,â Asa surrenders, collapses against you, arms looping your neck like sheâll fall otherwise. âBefore I lose it and scream.â
The movieâs winding down, end credits creeping closer. House lights will kill the dark soon anyway.
Even if you wanted to finish here, fingers alone were never going to cut it anyway. Not with Asa this close. Not with you this unsatisfied.
âUp,â you simply command, giving her a beat to stir, to dispel the haze.
You pull her uprightâmore manhandle than help. Asaâs knees buckle immediately, knocking like sheâs drunk.
Trying your best to steer her down the stairs, feeling the thrill when she stumbles into you. But sheâs a total disaster of your makingâbaseball cap, mask left somewhere in the back row. And those short shorts are fuckedâbuttons open, denim sagging low, barely clinging to her hips, only your grip on her ass-cheek stopping them from sliding off completely.
Not that you give a shit who sees now. Asa never did.
âPlease,â she slurs as you hit floor level, ignoring the indignant shhh she gets from a patron she nearly trips over. âSomewhere close. Right now.â
âSoon.â
âFaster,â she gasps, attempting to be petulant, but just sounding so desperate, the sob still remaining in her voice. âI can'tâtake me somewhere, fuck meâjustââ
And thankfully, you manage to reach a side exit without too much of an incident, ducking into a darkened area before she makes her shameless plea.
âJust make me cum,â she breathes, like a prayer to a higher power. âHowever you want. Fill me if you need to, fuck me however you wantâjustâI need you to make me cum.â
Youâre barely holding it together listening to herâtruthfully, youâre every bit as desperate.
But that urge gets shoved down for now, and you scan the service hallway youâve stumbled into. Dim, liminal, probably bypasses the main lobbyâstaff shortcut, whatever. Not empty, though. A couple of patrons and some random usher spots you.
At first their heads tilt, concern flickeringâgirl, half-carried, looking like sheâs about to pass out. But if any of them lingerâif some asshole stares even a beat too long at her nails gouging into your bicep, or that dreamy, totally-fucked look smeared across her faceâtheyâll get it.
Theyâll see right through the mess. See Asa, usually all filters, poses and bright lights, reduced to this drooling wreck.
Let them have their suspicions.
Leave it to the staff to scrub through the security footage later, let the rumours spread. Is that her? What are they doing? Are they going toâ
Youâre already moving too fast for their curiosity to catch up.
You find it at the end of the hallâa heavy door marked Staff OnlyâAuthorised Personnel.
All you really need is a hard surface, some privacy. Room to bend Asa over and take her properlyâthe way she deserves.
You shove the door wideâhauling her out of the corridor and inside, kicking it shut behind you. The deadbolt clicks home.
Both of you freeze for a second, breathing hard. Scanning the room.
Not a bathroom, not a closet. Projection booth. Narrow, uncomfortably hot. Fans humming, servers whirring, projectors throwing off this dry, stifling heat.
You glance across the booth and find the view: big glass ports looking straight down over a theatre.
âThis will do,â you tell her, finally releasing her arm.
âI bet it will.â Asa flashes that grin, already backing up to find the perfect spot to get split in two.
Through the glass you can see into the audience. A bigger crowd than the one you ditched. A sea of dark heads, all facing the screen. Oblivious. No clue to the idol right above them, ten feet up, barely holding it together.
Thatâs the real view that hits.
Asa, lit by the projectorâs spill. Bright, silver-blue, strobing across her skin. Every bruise, every fingerprint, every mark you've put on herâglowing. On full display.
She looks staggering.
Light dances up her tits, hits her collarbone, catches the sweat pooling there. Eyeliner a smudged, charcoal messâdaring you to fix it, or make it worse.
And sheâs already at it. Hands shaking, fumbling the buttons at her waistâtoo wired to manage finesse.
"Fuck, I canât wait,â she starts, a manic, little laugh bubbling up in her throat. So gleeful now that youâre behind locked doors. But her eyesâtheyâre wide, almost panicked. âOhâlook at me. Iâm shaking.â
But you donât move. Donât help. Just lean back against the door, arms crossed, watching.
Your star pupil, freeing herself out of those tight shorts.
You give your instruction: âStrip."
Thatâs all it takes. She shoves them down, kicks them offâsneakers tooâa heap on the floor forgotten.
Straightens. Stands there in just the tiny cut-off top. Legs endless. Pussy dripping. More than you imagined. Light catches the trails running down her thighsâshiny paths, creamy skin glistening. And higher up, hitting that silver stud in her navel, making it flash every time her abs flex with those shaky breaths.
Itâs the sight of her like this. Exposed. Drenched. Still managing to look almost regal in the filth.
Just look at her.
So proud of the mess she's made.
Itâs enough to make your cock ache against your zipper so hard it hurts.
Asa catches you staringâsees how youâre drinking it in, the state youâve reduced her to. She smiles. Itâs a devastating thing.
âFuckable, arenât I?â
No point denying it. You step forward, hands going to your belt. Unbuckling slow, tugging your zipper down. Giving her a show backâher mouth drops open, slack, tracking every movement as you close the distance.
âThis is what you wanted, right?â Asa slides one hand to her waist, fingers teasing just above her heat. The other drags her top up slowâpale skin, goosebumps everywhere. Nipple caught between her fingers. She twists. A fast, involuntary inhale melts into this airy, perfect sigh that scrambles your brain. âTo see me like this? See how soaked my pussy is for you?â
âItâs a good start,â you rasp, words like gravel.
Her feet shift apart. Legs spreading wide. Gifting you with the full picture: pink folds, flushed and slick, heavy with how bad she wants it.
âClaim it, Daddy. Stretch me open, ruin every inchââ Lashes dip low as she slowly pushes a finger inside herself, lids heavy, almost lazy with how good it feels. âPaint my insides, mark me deep⊠Orââ Pulls it out, now stained and shimmering, dragging it across her bottom lip. Sucks noisily, tasting herself. âYou can even make me choke on you. Youâd like that, wouldnât you?â
You swallow. Hard.
âAnything. Cum on meâin me. Fuck, maybe we can figure out the projector, put you feeding me your cum on the big screen. Wouldnât that be good, Daddy?â
âBrat.â
Asa sighs. One word and she's shaking. That's what you do to herâsandblast every perfect inch until she's just raw need. All those filthy things you've taught her still ringing in the ears of a girl who used to be so, so innocent.
And then youâre on her. Hands sliding, gripping, taking. Lifting her like she's weightless. Dropping her onto the edge of a heavy crate, bolted solid, cold metal biting her ass.
She lets out a harsh gasp as you crowd in close, making her feel every bit of your weight pinning her. Sheâs all supple strength, dancerâs grace, but against you she feels small. Fragile. Yours.
Her legs wrap around you on instinctâhabit, submission youâve drilled into her. Heels lock tight behind you, and itâs total surrender.
She grinds her slick pussy against the obvious bulge beneath your briefs, tormenting herself with that cruel friction right at her opening.
Then she stops.
Hands drop to her sides.
Leaves herself wide open, bare. At your mercy.
You roll your hipsâjust a fraction.
That's all it takes. Sigh into a whimper into a loud, broken groan that drowns the projector's hum.
"Yes,â she whines. âYesâmake me feel it.â
Sheâs creaming all over the cottonâyou feel it hot against your cock, making you throb, blood surging south in all sorts of terrible ways.
Asaâs eyes havenât left it once.
âCan I?â she begs, shamelessly.
âTake it.â
Her hands dive down fast, fingers quick and sure as she fishes you out. Cock springs freeâthrobbing, painfully hard in her small grip. âShitâlook at you. This is what Iââ
You kill that thought before she can finish it. One hand stays clamped on her ass, cheek filling your palm; the other fists her dark hair, yanks her head back. Crashing your mouth to hersâtongue shoving past teeth while you press forward, sliding out of her hands until the head catches on her sloppy-wet entrance.
You take a breathâhold your cock there for a beat, two.
Savouring it. Torturing Asa with the wait. Making her wail helplessly, body aching forward.
The slide in is seamless.
From her slick, open slit straight into that velvet heatâscalding, gripping like itâll never let go. So easy. Like coming home. Her lips go slack against yours, slipping to your chin as the kiss falls apart, needing the air for her newest chant.
âNghâfuckâyes,â is about the most you can make out of itâchoked like hiccups coming every time you sink another inch.
Your own lips trail down her cheek, venturing south. Finding that perfect spot on her throat. Somewhere to suckâmark her dark and deep. Something thatâll linger for days.
A brand.
A reminder of what you both know, what sheâs been proving this whole time. Sheâs yours. Completely. Body, mind, in every light and darkness. Crowds can chant her name all they wantâthis joyful, desperate, falling-to-pieces wreck in this locked roomâitâs the real Asa.
And Asaâs making these faces again. Nothing you havenât seen before, but everything you love to witness. Brows knit in that pained pleasure, eyes squeezed shut like itâs all too heavy to hold. Lips parted in lovely, glossy surprise at how good it hits.
She canât hide itâevery twitch of her thighs, frantic hip tilt, desperate clench. She canât help herself. Just has to show you everything.
âAsa,â you groan against her neck.
Your girl is back in tears again, but mixed with these pleased, giddy giggles. Haughty little laughânot at you, at herself. At how helpless she gets every time. You make her cry, beg, then push her to the edge so fast her head spins.
Shit, youâre barely three-quarters in, no real rhythm yet, when her walls start seizing.
One heavy thrustâbottom out, buried to the hilt.
âFuâah!â
Asa loses it.
Hands flyâclawing your neck, then slamming the crate for grip. Anything to anchor her through this storm. Leaving it to you to hold her there, filling her completely. Incapable of anything but groaning your name in squeals that nearly drive you over.
Impaling her cunt like thisâitâs rapture.
Pure heat. So intensely warm, tight, gripping around you like it owns you back. Sheâs thanking you in sputtering mewls, finally hitting that peak youâve been dragging her towards since you first put a hand on her.
âCummingâcummingâfinallyâfuckââ
It hits her out of nowhere. So fucking hard.
Ripples through, shatters her all at once. Nails dig into your neckâkeeping her steady as her body locks. You expect a scream but there is noneâjust a strained gasp, too seized to let it out.
It just rocks her. Undoes her. Turns her limp in your armsâputty, liquid.
Oh, she meant every wordâyou can do whatever the hell you want. But for now, you leave her squirming on your cock, pulsing in long, slow waves, pussy clamping in these spasms that threaten to pull you under with her.
âYesâohâshitââ Words come back, but sheâs still barely functioning. Held up by your strength and the cock still buried deep.
For as quick as it crashed over herâAsa comes down slow, in shaky stages.
Youâre about to tell her that break timeâs doneâitâs your turn now, exactly what sheâs been demanding forâbut she doesnât give you the chance to even draw breath.
Her heels loosen behind your back. Those strong, trained thighs flexâcore tighteningâand she slowly, deliberately squeezes you out. An agonising drag, inch by inch, until youâre almost free, head barely catching at her entrance.
You let her.
Let her push you back just far enough.
Thenâsnapâheels hook again, and she slams herself down hard. Full length in one brutal drop.
âFuck!â rips out of you before you can stop it. The wet crack of your thighs against the heavy curve of her ass echoes off the server racks, bounces off the glass, rattles straight through your skull.
Loud. Filthy.
The most satisfying sound youâve ever heard.
And Asa just laughs.
Watches your jaw clench, reads every flicker across your face. Making you think she really can read your mind. For that split second, she kind of can.
Taking control like thatâdragging you out slow, then slamming you back in deepâknowing exactly what it does to you. How it lights every nerve. How badly you need her to keep doing shit like this.
âSir,â she says, breezy as hell. The post-orgasm glow makes her look unrealâcheeks and chest flushed, lips wet and parted like sheâs still chasing the high. âWhatever you want, Sir.â
So you make your decision.
You get in close, dropping your voice to that low register reserved for discipline. She keens when she hears it.
âI'm going to fuck you as hard as you can take. But I want you begging for it, first.â
Sure, she's been begging since the very start, but fuckâthere's always more. Always another layer to drag this filthy little fantasy even deeper.
Asa dives straight in.
Kicks off slow, then builds. Broken, breathless stream of every depraved thought sheâs ever had about you. A desperate litany of her very best, most filthyâyeah, you wouldnât be surprised if itâs just a collection of what runs through her head when youâre posing her in practice rooms or holding her steady during rehearsals.
âPlease,â she starts. âDaddyâI need this. Need you to ruin me. Iâll do anything. Anything you want, I swear.â
There she isâeveryoneâs dream girlâplaying the part to perfection. But the honesty, the truths she saves only for you, hums through her.
âHavenât I been so good for you?â She sputters, eyes searching yours for the approval she craves most. âIâve been such a good girl. Tell me. I can be betterâIâll be perfect for you, I promise.â
Louder now, voice straining over all that ambient noise around you, words blurring into one long, filthy recitation straight from your darkest corners.
"And if I haven't beenâif I've been bad then you have to punish me, don't you? Take meâhowever you want. Use me upâIâm yours. Just fill meâstuff me full until Iâm leaking you.â
You almost laughâbecause sheâs pinned, exposed, in no position to bargain. But the promises keep spilling anyway.
âI need you stretching my tiny hole,â she gasps, head lolling back at the thought alone. âNeed it deep inside meâneed it so fuckingââ
She cuts herself offâswallows the rest, teeth sinking into her lip to trap the scream. Heels dig into the small of your back, your fingers buried in the pliant flesh of her ass because youâre done waiting. Done letting her collect herself for her grand worship speech.
You nail her in earnest.
Teeth grit, jaw tight from holding back for far too long.
Itâs unbelievableâher holeâs even tighter now, walls gripping in a strangling vice that shouldnât be possible.
âGod damn, Asa.â
But your focus narrows to the rhythm.
Watching her body answer every thrustâthe clench of her abs, the ripples around your cock. This is what should get awards. Not CGI crashes on screensâthis: tears carving tracks through smeared eyeliner, hair wild and static-charged, lips frozen in a silent oh-fuck.
You need her to hear it. Need her to know. âSo ridiculously tight. Donât know how you do itâalways this wet, this hot.â
âLiar,â Asa shoots back, laughingâgiddy, grinning through it. âYou know itâs you. Your cock. You know how easy it is to make me cum every fucking time.â
You take the angle, turn it punishing. Skin slapping skinâhips crashing, the constant echoing thud of her back being driven against the wall.
Your hand goes to her chestâyou need it all bare. Dragging the hem of her top up until itâs bunched around her neck, and then yanking it over her head so you can toss it with the rest of everything that was keeping you from seeing Asa in full.
Her spine curves, body lifting to meet you. And God, her titsâfinally free. Bouncing in this hypnotising rhythm with every lunge.
You could touch them againâgrab them, twist the peaks. But you bend insteadâtake one nipple in your mouth, sucking hard. Rough tongue, heat, suction swelling the bud between your lips.
Asaâs unmoored. Hands thread your hair, hold you thereâbinding you to her chest, keeping the pressure right where she needs it.
You roll the stiff peak between your teethâjust enough tug to pull that sweet-pained sigh. Mewlsâadorable, desperateâwith every graze. Chest heaving, fighting for air to match your pace.
Perfect, the both of them. So you switch sidesâlap one wet and hot, knead the heavy swell of the other. Leaving them bruised, glistening, making her writhe, hips stuttering, knees squeezing your waist like your mouth on her tits is the only thing keeping her from shattering.
You pull back from her nipple, leaving her skin damp and sticky. You could spend hours more on her titsâbut you need a better angleâneed to drive into her deeper. Harder. Faster.
Need so much more from your girl.
Whatever look crosses your face, it has her dazed, smug, joyfulâknowing exactly how she makes you feel, what she does to you. What she is to you.
The tightest, hottest, most deserving cumslut youâve ever had.
You oughtta make sure she knows. âThatâs my girl,â you growl, praising your number one student. âGod, you feel unbelievable.â
No easing up now. No tender bullshit, no slow-lover rhythmâmaybe later, when itâs late and youâre all alone and you can afford to be honest with the softer parts you both pretend don't exist.
Right now it's just about carving her open. Rewriting every single muscle until her legs forget how to stand. Until the only thing left is your cock holding her upâburied so deep she feels it in her throat.
Thereâs only so much Asa can doâbut she does it all. Buzzing with pride, arms around your neck, pulling herself up so close, face buried in the crook of your neck.
She moves. Hips tilt just right.
Suddenly she's thereâweightless in your arms, yours to use. Built for this depth, this angle, this exact stretch.
Nothing but your good little cocksleeve now.
Her teeth find your skin, biting down hard. Enough to leave a markâa matching set to the ones youâve already branded onto her.
âI needed this,â she slurs into your shoulder. âNeeded you to use me like this.â Her breath hitches as she grinds down once, greedy. âYouâre not stopping after one, right? One roundâone loadâthatâs never going to be enough for me.â
You find your pace. Grip tight on her hips.
Lifting her nice and slow, thenâdropping her. Gravity does the rest. Wet slap after wet slap ringing out loud.
âIf youâre good,â you tell her. âAfter thisâwhen we get homeâ"
âNo,â she interrupts, audacity still there, even when sheâs ruined. âNot home. In the car. As soon as the door shuts youâll feed me every inch. Once here wonât cut itâyou know Iâll suck you dry on the ride back.â
âChrist,â you huff out, more air than sound. The image makes your cock throb inside her, pulsing against her seizing walls. Her legs spread even wider, her heels locking harderâopening up new depths. Gifting you every angle of that tiny idol cuntâsopping, perfect, made only for you.
And then, because sheâs a brat, even as you thrust faster and fasterâquick, hard pounds, devoured by her slick cuntâshe pushes for more.
Wants to be hurt. Wants the bruises makeup canât hide.
âClaim every holeâcunt, throat, assâleave me dripping from all of them.â
âSo demanding.â
"Dayâs not over. Weâve already startedâmight as well go as far as we can.â It all just slides so nicely into your ears, makes so much sense coming from her. âMaybe Iâll call one of the girls.â
The scream when your knee bucklesâthe drop impales her hard. The crate creaks. Asa takes it all.
âAhâfuck! You like that donât you? Youâd love it if Ruka or Pharita orââ
âAhyeonââ comes out before you can stop it. Surprising even you, the name coming from some carnal, primal corner of your brain thatâs been waiting to have a light shone on it.
Asa takes it all in stride. âIâll call her. After youâah, God yesâafter I take all your cum hereâIâll call her. Have her waiting at the house. Sheâll be there as soon as we get through the door. Our audience.â
Itâs your turn to laughâa low, mean sound. Sheâs cracked open your darkest impulses, the ones you usually keep under lock and key. Her fault for bringing it out. âYou think sheâll just watch?â
âWhy?â Asa shudders. Building up to it againâhips rolling helplessly. Creaming so heavy, gushing. Wet squelch with every thrustâloud enough that it wouldnât be hard to tellâif someone was outside, had their ear up to the door, heard your words, her moans, the sounds of her cunt. Oh, theyâd know exactly what was happening to their favourite idol. âWhat are you going to do?â
âMake you watch,â you decide, getting rougher, driving these pretty noises right out of her lungs. âIâll take Ahyeon to our bed. See how her tiny cunt compares. Who knows? Maybe sheâs more deserving of Daddyâs cum than a brat like you.â
âOh Godââ she whimpers and whimpers and whimpers, slipping right back to what she really is for you: your cum-hungry little toy.
âTie you up,â you keep going, fantasy fuelling each thrust. âWrists, ankles. Gag to keep you quiet. Leave your little toy buzzing while I fold Ahyeon over and fuck her pretty pussy right in front of you.â
âYesâgahâI can'tââ Asaâs a catastropheâgetting hoarse, vocal cords exhausted. Her forehead thumps against your shoulder. All torn up and tiredâmaking you push into her harder, get as close as you can, as far up into her guts as your cock can go and then further still.
âYouâd fucking love that, wouldnât you?â
You snap your hips and drive into her againâgetting your answer. âYesâyesâjustâinside first. Please!â
Asaâs bawling, delirious, out of it. If your cock wasnât pinning her in place she'd be on her knees, mouth open, begging with whatever breath she has left.
But you both know the truth; there's only one place this ends. Lost count of her cycle weeks agoânot that it matters. It's the same endless litany spilling from her lips, wrecked and reverent: inside, inside, insideâa prayer she's been chanting since the first time you bottomed out and she realised she could have this forever.
You drive harder. Deeper.
Chasing that white-hot snap where everything collapses.
"Fuckâlook at you. Youâre shaking so hardâgonna break for me again?â
No pauseâhips crashing, shaking the wall, rattling the glass in its frame. Hard enough that you might crack it before youâre done.
âDo itâbreak for me. Cum all over my cockâright now. Cum so I can walk you out and show everyone what a dirty little whore you are.â
And this is the point where the tension is snapping, and youâre reaching the head of every single one of your shared kinks and fantasies and everything that keeps the two of you going. This is the mountaintop. Sensory overload. You and Asa. The very real risks. Door could open any second. Intensity climbing up the length of your cock.
Her arms cuff themselves around your neck, eyes screwed shut, nose wrinkled in raw, aching bliss. Asaâs tongue darts outâclumsy, desperateâlicking your jaw, chin, grazing your lips. Trying to anchor, to kiss, but youâre hammering her too hard, too fast. Too punishing for her to hold on.
But thereâs no other way to show itâwhat the sex, the words, the dirty talk like psychological torture is doing to her. Finally driving her mad.
âI need itâDaddyâmy pussy needsâneeds youâI canâtââ she sobs, then simply loses the ability to speak.
Another orgasm shoots through herâwildfire scorching her skin. Her spine clicks, her musclesâher cuntârippling, fisting around you.
Sheâs too loudâlouder than any projectors, the equipment hum, the muffled movie beyond the glass.
Just her voice, cresting into slurred, filthy gratitude that no walls could ever hold.
So you take her mouth againâtongue gagging her cries, swallowing the rest before she screams the place down. The image flashes hot: Asa, your gorgeous, thoroughly used girl, coming undone on your cock, and the crowd behind the glass all turning at once to catch her.
âTheyâre gonna catch us, Asa,â you breathe against her lips. âAny second, that doorâs gonna openâtheyâll see everything. See you pounded, broken, filled with me. You want that? Want them watching me ruin you?â
âYes!â She cries, gaze going utterly darkâpupils blown so wide the brown disappears, nothing left but black staring up at you. âLet them lookâsee how you fuck meâhow you breed meââ And she just canât hold on anymore, walls flutter once, then seize, refusing to let even an inch slip free. âCum in meâright in my little pussyâmake it yours for goodâ"
You feel it all at once. Every promise, every bargain sheâs made. Your body locksâpressure burning molten-hot before it surges forward. âFuckâAsa!â
Your hips slam deepâher heels dig in, forcing you forward until youâre fully buried.
Then you erupt.
A hot rush floods her centre. She freezesâbraces herself against the wall as she feels that first thick release splash inside her. Drooling from the corner of her mouth, lips quivering with each and every spurt you drive in.
âYou have no idea, it feels so good,â she says, barely audible. âI can feel itâall of itâfeel you fucking it deeperââ
Not done yet. Keep grinding, hips working in the confines her heels give you, fucking your cum deeper into her, even as it starts to leak. Itâs cataclysmic, a proper disasterâthe liquid heat of her, your heavy load making this obscene slosh that fills your ears with pure delirious satisfaction.
Nothing else exists. Nothing else has ever existed.
Just this: draining every last drop into Asa's greedy belly until she's overflowing, until it spills hot and thick down her thighs.
Her fault, always. Milks you like sheâs owed. Wrings out the biggest, messiest loads youâve ever given anyone, every time.
It seeps out of her, thick and slow. Dribbling down the backs of her thighs. Staining the crateâbut Asaâs barely there to register it.
Your perfect idol. Dripping with your cum.
You wrap her tightâarms around her, chest heaving against hers. One last clap of your hips as your cock throbs the final globs. Kiss her temple, her cheek, her mouthâhard. Taste salt tears, sweet gloss, feel her finally melt and relax into a delighted, liquid-soft heap.
It's got you all delirious, you think you're even laughing when the last tremor fades. Like you canât believe it. Even after everything, after all this time, Asa shorts out your circuits, overwrites every shred of better judgment.
âBaby,â you say. Catching your breath. Savouring the fantasy girl in your arms. âDonât know if I can even leave this room.â
âThen donât.â Asa suggests. Soft, still clinging. "At least wait a sec. Donât pull out yet. Just stay.â
You do as she says, you owe her that much. Staying buried in the sticky, spent mix youâve made. You know you should make a move, should be preparing a warning about time, place, the world outsideâbut it goes forgotten when you see her face.
So content. Fulfilled. Face gone all slack and dreamy. Your gold-star girl, fucked-out and so damn happy.
It does something stupid to your chest.
âJust. Let me have this,â she coos. âJust a second. Then you can take me wherever.â
God, she looks perfect. Youâve told her a million timesâshe just absorbs it, owns it. Says itâs all for you. Then reminds you why.
âIâd let you, you know.â Wistful smile, complete awe. âWalk me outâparade me through the lobby, the street. Dripping with your cum. Tell everyone Iâm yours. Iâd be so proud. Making them all jealous. At me, stuffed full of you.â
She takes a beat. Challenge flickersâsparksâin her eyes, blood already rushing back.
âYou could even put me on a leash, if you really wanted.â
The thought sits. Takes time to settle. You see it in her eyesâcrystal, terminal. Every kink youâve fed her, distilled. Right there.
âIs that what you want?â
Youâre honest with her. Quick and upfront. âI just want to make you happy, Asa.â
And she blushes at thatâa genuine, deep crimson that has nothing to do with how exhausted and spent you have her. Preens under the affection, then sighs. âThen help me up. Letâs get out of here.â
She shiftsâlifts herself close enough to press her forehead against yours. Itâs niceâand a little vulnerable. The gentlest thing sheâs given you. Her fingers find yours. She squeezes.
You could probably say something pretty about it: the faint tremor in her wrist when she reaches, the linger of her fingers a second too long, the tiny catch in her breath when your cock finally starts to slip free.
The slow, thick dribble that followsâshiny, obscene, tracing a lazy line down her inner thigh. Itâs a work of artâshould be hung in museums, exhibited worldwide.
But itâs just Asa. Hair mussed midnight, skin glowing, cum leaking down her leg in a single proud stripe.
Look at her.
Your perfect girl, snapping her thighs shut, locking every last drop inside that tiny cunt you just ruined.
âYouâve made such a mess of me,â she says, like she couldn't be happier. Surveys her trembling limbs. âThink Iâm gonna need you to carry me out.â
She steals your shirtâdabs at smeared eyeliner, the last of her tears. A half-hearted attempt at decency.
You do your part tooâhelping her tug her top back on, smoothing out the edges youâve fucked loose. Putting her back together as best you canâeven if the pieces donât fit quite as snugly anymore.
âShorts?â She gestures. You kneel, help her step into them. Slide them over the streaks.
But she canât quite wait for you, bending down as youâre halfway up her thighs, reaching to fish out her phone. Her thumbs start flying across the screen.
âWhat are you doing?â You ask, fastening the last button at her waist. Dipping lowâpressing one last kiss to the beauty mark just above her hip.
Asa smilesâa sharp, wicked thing. She reaches down, a finger under your chin, tugs you up until you're eye to eye again.
Close enough that her swollen lips brush your nose in a soft, almost tender peck.
âWhat do you think, Daddy?â That coy little lilt still there, voice rasped raw from screaming into your mouth. âTexting Ahyeon.â
(And just like thatâyour Asa, fully back online. Photogenic smile locked in place, lips plush and bruised, endless legs shifting, ready to be spread open for round two.
Just a stack of obsessions, one neatly atop the next. Each hungrier than the last, begging to be broken the same way.
Youâll take your time. One by one. Whenever the mood strikes.
In quite literally every other probable set of circumstances in the world, âDid you break up?â is not the best icebreaker for you and your girlfriend to go off on.
Yuri stops, mid-slurp of what looks to be a much more savory bowl of noodles and broth than it is, and eyes you with a warning shot. She chews hastily, swallows ungracefully, clears her throat, âWe were never together,â with that uneasiness in her eyes you know means nothing good. âWe didn't even kiss in the drama, you know.â She reaches down, kneads her calf, and you just let her.Â
âI know,â because of course you did, âbut you had really good chemistry. On the show, off the show, maybe even behind the cameras?â You pick at your California rollâa soy sauce-soaked grain of rice here, a loose sesame seed thereâtrying but obviously, laughably failing at laughing and passing it off as a mere observation. Her eyes are still hell to avoid: soft, or piercing, or mysterious on command, and today is no exception. Her phone isnât a valid target either, just sitting there on the table, screen locked but facing up so it reflects your gaze every time it falls within. You have to look up, and once you do, those hellishly gorgeous eyes find yours in no time at all. She looks at you with a weird flavor of amusement, like entertaining the most ridiculous thought youâve ever had.Â
âHe was nice. Tall, handsome, sweet too, at least that's what I'm told,â she huffs, trying just as hard with that smirk to keep the situation light. âNow I'll bite. Tell me, oppa, why do you ask?â Yuri leans back on her chair, arms crossing and her smirk growing just the slightest bit wider, testing the limits of what she can let herself get away with saying.
You had the nerve to ask her to this random New York noodle house for lunch, thousands of miles away from both your homes and jobs, while youâre both on vacation for Christ's sake, and ask her that as a shameful last ditch attempt at petty conversation you knew you couldnât keep up with. âJust,â you concede with a pause thatâs definitely, maybe a bit too pregnant, âjust curious.â Not that it was a lie, but itâs a grave understatementâyou did miss her, it looks like she missed you too, overreading the situation be damned.Â
She laughs, which, mission accomplished for you. âYou canât fault me for wanting our breakup to have been worth something,â mirror her crossed arms with yours, throw back a pointed stare of your own. âYou were giving up a real catch, so I didnât want you regretting it.â
âRight, right. Sorry.â She clears her throat and wipes away the stray broth from her lips, throwing down the napkin like she was right back at home. With that same tone she always took with you, only you, âWell, if you must know, it was not worth it. At all. I mean, seriously, do you really think that he could compare?â
And there it is. It stops you both in your tracks, the tension of meeting up with an ex in a weird place after an ambiguous breakup immediately replaced by the realization that, for lack of a better term, âI donât wanna compare,â rubbing your neck out of embarrassment more than humility, âI donât wanna say âworth it.ââ
Different this time, âRight, sorry. You know what I meant.â Yuriâs eyes cast down just as quick, and you find your respectfully waiting sushi on the plate right across from her gently cooling bowl of noodles. The clatter and chatter of sounds around you comforts you in a way you canât explicitly understand, but the way her smile creeps back into her cheeks and her honest attempt at checking if what she said was okay with you means more than anything else.Â
âYeah, I know.â
Her phone lights up, breaking the ice better than you ever could, but Yuriâs face all but sours when she reads the notification. She wills the screen back to black, and flips it over this time. No more distractions. She turns back to you, hiding all the emotions from her face. Continues on, like nothing happened.
~~~
There's really no good way to describe the feeling again. Itâs some parts anxious, other parts offended, yet other parts just plain relieved. Confusing is another word youâd love to use, but youâve long accepted that everything was confusing in the face of one Jo Yuri, even if it was the last thing she wanted. She grips your arm tighter as her glasses fog up with a puff of breath gone awry. Thereâs a slight shiver in her fingers, dreadfully obvious even through her winter gloves, that makes its way up your sleeve and onto the arm sheâs gripping onto. Itâs confusing, anxious, offensive, just plain relieving, to have her on your arm like this again.Â
âHowâs work?â Again, not the best icebreaker, though by now youâve gotten quite used to the awkward silences since her. What youâre not used to, unfortunately, is having her there with you. She grips tighter, not to any considerable degree, but enough for you to notice the flex of her fingers against the thick fabric of your coat. But you can feel, even without seeing the corners of her lips curve up, that she finds this more amusing than you do.Â
âItâs fine,â Yuri breezes against your arm, âIâm glad to have a little time to myself before heading off to Manhattan or something,â before settling with a huff that produces a thin cloud of breath in front of her face. âWhat about you? You mustâve been busy too, not much time to be sitting around and missing me.âÂ
A moment of weakness is an understatement. What youâd give in exchange for the courage to tell her the truth that, yes, you missed her with all your heart, and that not a day on this God-given earth has passed that you havenât wished she was right back there with you, without any or all of this complicated nonsense that you canât bring yourself to tell her drove you two apart. Or, on the other hand, you could also say no, not one bit, you haven't even thought of her, and your password isn't your anniversary anymore, and the gallons upon gallons of midnight oil you burned at your desk at work didnât have anything at all to do with not having her near.Â
Instead, your hands ball into fists in your coat pockets. Itâs for the warmth, it has to be for the warmth. Thereâs no particular reason why your tongue finds its way between your teeth, why the flashing digital billboards of brands youâve never heard of suddenly seem so interesting, why the birds and chatter and the buskers singing love songs are much too loud for 3 pm. But you look to your right, see the tiny girl clung to your arm like a koala, half watching where sheâs going past the crowd of people going the opposite way and the other half looking up at you.Â
âYouâre holding back,â she huffs, another breath-turned-fog-cloud rising up her face, though itâs just a smidge too late to hide the tiny furrow in her brow when she says it. âYou never hold back.âÂ
Nevertheless, reassure her, âAm I? I donât think so.â Pat the hand that clings to you, convince her that youâre okay and convince yourself harder, âIâm fine. You?â
Clearly not satisfied, (of course sheâs not, not even you would buy that bullshit you just spouted), she presses: âSomethingâs bothering you. You think youâre so slick.â She pokes your side, in the spot you curse that she remembers is ticklish. âFine, donât tell me yet. But I bet youâll slip or something. You always were,â she stops for a moment, the playful tinge in her voice flickering. âYou always were an open book.â
She suddenly stops, fingers still tight on your arm, but she pulls out her phone with her free hand. She puts it to her ear, mumbles a simple âUh-huh,â and her face does that thing again when she gets bad news. âAlright, thank you, oppa,â before pocketing it back with a sigh.
âEverything okay?âÂ
Not even one breath after you start, she perks back up: âCome up with me.â She tilts her head to the right, pointing at the big revolving door of the hotel she must be staying at. âMy legs are tired, and itâs too cold, and everything is so loud here.â
âOh, if youâve had enoughââ
âCome up.â
Itâs one singular moment of hesitationâboth yours and hersâbefore she pulls you along, into the lobby, past the staff, into the elevator. You almost donât mind the eyes, human or digital or otherwise, that might catch you; you only allow yourself one of the worst palpitations youâve ever had the displeasure of the thought of Jo Yuri being caught with some nobody not even worth a second of her time. She rushes down the hallway, avoiding eyes and ears like the expert you know her to be, until the last moment before she places her hand on a seemingly random doorknob: a man emerges from the room to the left, asking her who you are.Â
âHeâs new,â she says, before you realize that she was talking to you. She shoots you a new smileâa teasing oneâbefore addressing the man this time, âHeâs someone I need you to keep from management and everyone else, especially you-know-who. Heâs not here at all.â The door flies open, Yuri doesnât wait for a reply from him, shoves you in.Â
~~~
Everything like old times, from the rambling about work and schedules, to how her mother and yours are doing, to fighting over the TV volume that has to be either a multiple of 2 or of 5 before ultimately settling on a crisp 30. Thatâs why itâs unsettling to you, creating friction somewhere deep in your chest, at the stark lack of it outside. Itâs most apparent when she takes a big, lazy, manspread seat onto the sofa while you do the same on the floor in front of her, falling into step like you used to. You know things have changed, and she knows that things have changed, and that your old routines arenât, shouldnât, be the same as they once were. But the world is quiet, save for the TV spewing nonsense about the news or this telenovela or even this funny streamer she loves so much. You want the fighting, the interrogations between each other, the explosions of passion and yearning like the dramasâlike it should be.
Instead, after the hellish couple hours of leisurely catching up like neither of you deserve, she chuckles, swings a leg over each of your shoulders, breathes out a slow sigh. Wraps a calf around the front of your neck, snuggling you between her thighs, and you place your hands right on her shinânot to remove, but simply to touchâkneading the muscles she's been complaining of soreness ever since the morning.Â
Your eyes stay fixed on the TV, but watching it has long been out of your mind. The little people onscreen couldn't do anything right now to grab your attention back; now it's just on the gentle voice somewhere above and behind you, humming a familiar song as fingers run through your hair and ruffle through the liminal spaces between every strand. âCan't believe you remember we used to do this,â Yuri says, and she bends down over you, tilting your head back just a smidge with a soft tug. It's not demanding in the slightest, though you fight down the urge to tell her you would've given in if she did.
Her eyes were always so pretty. They could be soft, or piercing, or mysterious on command, but now it's nothing more than that comforting curiosity that got you to fall in love with her in the first place. It's always been the trust she had in you to be patient even to a fault, to let her go off into the wide open world as you stayed behind, to be there for her when she comes home and complains about her feet hurting as you come down to rub all the tension out once more.Â
With the awkwardness only finally starting to melt away, you whisper in the most gentle tone you never knew you could muster, âThis was my favorite part. I'm glad you let me do this back then,â as your fingers prod and squeeze away the spots of pain and pressure woven between her muscles, âeven now.â She continues running her fingers through your hair, letting you feel the gentle strokes of her fingertips and nails against the skin of your scalp. She comes eye to eye with you, tilting your head far enough back that it rests on her lap, and she shows you that raw honesty you can tell she's been dying to show anyone. âDo you remember why we broke up?â you ask her, whispering far too quietly, scared to break this unbreakable peace youâve already built with her.Â
She sighs through a mouth curved into a sad smile. âNo, it's been so long. I bet you remember, though. I must've been a bad girlfriend or something. Did I forget your birthday?â Warmth from a hand on each of your cheeks now, and the smoothness of a pair of lips right on the center of your forehead. The ends of her hair tickle your face wherever they land, but you don't mind them enough to brush off. Yuri peppers tiny pecks all over your face, and you have to let it happen. You get to let it happen.Â
âLet's let that be my burden to carry. I don't blame you for not remembering.â You close your eyes slowly, receiving her love like you deserve it. On one particularly slow kiss right between your eyebrows, her smile grows a little wider, her exhale a little more forceful as she takes comfort in the tiny graces you pay her back. Your fingers continue to knead her calf, feeling the tension melt away as she grows ever more pliable under your hands, half-hoping that she doesn't realize you've been playing Fur Elise on her leg for the better part of the hour now, with the other half hoping that she does.Â
And then, without warning or heed, her lips meet yours. They're just as soft as you remember, with the familiar pout you've come to memorize and, hell, even miss. She parts them slightly, takes your upper lip gently between her teeth. It's everything to you to let her have her tiny nibbles, all the while you get to love her right back. She takes the utmost care, as if handling the most fragile of glass mirrors, as she rubs her thumbs across your cheeks, feeling how corporeal and simply present you are with her. It's everything to be here again, to be hers again, to be again. It feels like an eternity and a day that you stay in her presence, taking from her without deserving, yetâ
She pulls away, just for a moment, and whispers against your lips: âHere you go again with the owing me something. I know that twitch in your lips. I donât like it.â She traces circles on one cheek, holding you steady by the other, waiting for you to settle. Waiting for you. Waiting for you.Â
âYou canât not remember by now,â you chuckle, breath pushing lightly against her smile. âTell me why we broke up. Right now. Come on,â poking and prodding at her psyche, before she breaks into that same adorable giggle that lights up the room and everything in it.Â
âI said I was gonna be busy.â The way she says it is plain as day, as if itâs the simplest thing. âAnd you took it like âShe doesnât want to spend time with me anymoreâ when you know itâs not that.â She rubs your cheeks again, trying to pull away the layers even though she knows itâs not you thatâs hiding, âit was never that.â
âWhat was it then?â Keep testing her, even if you know sheâll get all the answers right anyway. The little things get lost in the noise, but not the big thing she keeps close to her heart.Â
âIt was,â with a pause much too short to be pregnant, âIt was me saying âYou arenât worth the few free hours I have anymore.â And you hated that, because who wouldnât?â she confesses, voice shaking like old wounds were opening again. âBut thatâs not what I meant.â
Your turn to kiss her forehead, and the way you pull her down isnât as awkward as you want it to be. Instead, she takes one slow glide into position, hovering right above your lips, and you donât make her wait a millisecond longer than she needs to. âI know what you meant. But do you think Iâd have ever forgiven myself if I ever got in your way?â
And then she pulls back, meeting your eyes again as if seeing for the first time the blazing galaxies behind the inky cover of night. Her smile tugs at the corners of her mouth, stretching ever so slightly, like itâs getting wider against her will. âItâs not fucking fair,â she says, gaze still locked on you, smile reaching peak width. âYou make it look so easy, loving me. Itâs like youâre this perfect fucking soulmate for me. How do you know me so well?â
âI,â you take a deep breath, bracing yourself for an answer that pains you to give, âI donât know.â Itâs the truth, that you donât know how easy it was to fall for her, or why it was so simple to learn her little habits. How long she stays in bed scrolling after waking up, the number of the place she always gets her spicy marinated crabs from, her unnatural insistence that the volume of the TV has to be a multiple of 5. Itâs all these little things: stuff that you and only you could ever know of her, stuff she only ever lets you see. It strikes you as every bit of odd, knowing so much about her, when all you are is some background character in the grand scheme of her lifeâ
âI donât get it.â Yuriâs voice shocks you back down to Earth, âYouâre not the type to cry. Or hesitate. Or keep things hidden, at least from me. Thatâs that twitch in your lips, when you want to say something out loud but you bite it back. I donât like it.â She thumbs your cheek again, more slowly, deliberately, âI donât like when you donât tell me things.â
Her phone again, this time a Kakao message judging from the notification sound. It reaches you both at the same time, but the effect it has on her is the worst yet. She shuts her eyes hard, as if wishing the message would be gone by the time she checks, and she doesnât plan to check anytime soon. You even feel her hands get ever so slightly chillier, like it pains her to think about what that message could be.Â
âYou can get that if you need to.â You always had that soft spot for her, knowing where you stood in her life and when it was your turn. And of course, you were more than happy to step aside, because God forbid you, as you accidentally so eloquently put it, got in her way.Â
But a fresh, warm breeze of breath hits your forehead. âThatâs the second stupidest thing youâve ever said.â Her eyes open again, and it hits you: soft or piercing or mysterious on command. Shining like the blazing galaxies that hide behind the inky blackness of the sky. All at once, the mystery of how you remember everything about her even after all this time just seems to solve itself.Â
But thereâs that doubt in her eyes again, when she sees your lips twitch again. âI really hurt you, didnât I?â Sheâs downtrodden, and you canât console her. Not like this. âWhat did I do?âÂ
Lie. Just lie. âNothing, that was it.â Fight the twitch in your lip again, pretend you can hide it when sheâs this close.Â
You want her to let go, then say sheâs busy, then pick up her phone and read it and say she needs her rest, then kick you out. But she doesnât, even with the incessant pinging seemingly getting louder and louder. Through it all, she stares into your eyes, thumbs brushing the skin of your cheeks, trying to find any clue she can find. Instead she mumbles, âBullshit,â focused on you.Â
~~~
The TV hangs above a fake fireplace far from the foot of the bed, waiting patiently for the next time they can light back up. A newly-snuffed stick of incense fades out in its stand in the kitchen, and the far off cars and people somewhere on the busy 10-in-the-evening New York street beneath you try their hardest to throw soundwaves up that many stories and through your window to you. And her.Â
She finally pulls you down, taking her with you as she descends backwards onto the fluff of the mattress. All the while, your lips never leave hers: slow kisses, fast, light, deep, and everything in between. Tongues swirl in a dance from long ago but never forgotten, somehow recalling every step of the way like you were never apart. Her breath grows heavier along with yours, vying to keep up with the heat you offer her and trying to outdo you all at the same time, when it all comes to a screeching halt; she pushes you off, keeping you only a hair's width away from her, no more and no less.Â
Donât ruin it. Don't do it. Don't say it. Don'tââSo youâre not going out with him?â
And she looks up at you with those gorgeous eyes, piercing, before settling into soft, as her lips curl into a smirk that she tries so hard to fight down before failing anyway and, god forbid, laughing right in your face. Youâd thought that this would happen sooner or later, but not like this. Not her comfily lying in a fluffy bed, keeping you mere millimeters from her face as she lets out a laugh from deep in her chest, at something you said that made her happy again. Once she settles, âNo, absolutely not,â pulls you closer again right up until youâre fully flush against her lips. âDonât make it hard for me now. How many more times are you gonna ask tonight?â
âJust one more,â you joke. Indulge her, even if only for this. She deserves at least one good memoryâ
âThere you go again, that twitch in your lips. Itâs distracting.â Yuri is nothing but gentle when she nudges you backward against the headboard, straddles your legs, places your hands on her lap as she has her way with you. Itâs one deep kiss after another, not knowing where one ends and the next starts, the minutiae doesnât really matter. What matters is that sheâs here, youâre here, and that things havenât changed at all. Her hands find their way to your neck, trying in vain to pull you any closer than you already are, and yours find her hips, going along with the grinding on your lap that sheâs starting to build up.
âMmh,â straight into your mouth, and it's something you didn't even know you needed. She's had onscreen kisses before, including the ones she's gotten into bed with you and shown you before falling asleep right before the good part comes. And it's that that you held on to: that the way she does those kisses is the farthest thing from the way she does these kisses. She's needy for something more than any physical contact a kiss could offer but the kind of comfort it brings, and you can tell by the way she takes and takes and takes from you, like you don't deserve to be the one offering it.
âFuckingââ but there's no actual heat behind the word. She pulls back ever so slightly, only far back enough to be able to look you in the eyes without crossing hers. âStop that. Whatever it is you're thinking, I don't like it. Just kiss me again.â
âSorry.â There's nothing to apologize for, really, since you know deep in your gut that you'll do it over and over. Your chest grows heavy, and not because of the girl that's doing nothing but trying to love you. Even when she insists, from the way she reaches behind her and under her shirt before pulling off her bra and throwing it off somewhere to the side, to her utter refusal at letting go of your hands once she places them on her chest herself, you can tell that she needs that comfort again. Through her knit top, you can feel the rising warmth of her body, the neverending softness of her boobs, the growing stiffness of her nipples already starting to poke through her shirt and into your palms.Â
But despite it all, you can't ignore the weight in your chest. You're the one who let her drift away, never explained why or how, and now you're taking the same sort of comfort like you used to as if nothing changed. Like she's still the same Yuri, your Yuri, who isn't an international superstar nor budding small screen staple with a future she can't help but rise up to. No, Yuri is there now. Household name, face on the Netflix profile pictures, hundreds of thousands of monthly Spotify listeners and every other metric of success anyone could ever come up with to show just how right you were to let her go.Â
She pulls back, not gentle in the slightest, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, âWhat in the fuck do you want to hear, huh?â She slides her hands under your shirt, coming up your sides, before slipping through the hole for your head to station her hands on either shoulder of yours. Her forearms do the rest of the heavy lifting, bringing the hem up until you have to take your shirt off for her. Not even a moment once itâs off that she dives back in, claiming your mouth before moving down to pepper wet kisses on your neck, leaving trails of spit on your shoulders, nibbling gently at your collarbone, taking deep breaths of the scent on your chest, leaving you breathless and wanting more of what sheâs so desperately trying to offer you.Â
Her turn now. You grab the hem of her top, pulling it up and over her head as well. As it clears her chest, her boobs bounce free, a sight for sore eyes; yet she doesnât let you dwell. Yui allows you two perfect squeezes of her soft, supple breasts, and she goes down. Your pants come away with a concerted joint effort, letting her urgency get the better of you to tear it off, and she takes your throbbing length into her hand. âPlease tell me this is what you want,â as she strokes your cock in deep and slow pumps, all the while letting her spit trickle down your tip, onto the slit, down the shaft where she rubs you up and down. âPlease donât make me play this fucking guessing game.â
âIââ is all you can put together, just as a groan escapes you. The warmth of her mouth is divine, the slickness of her tongue on your cock a feeling you sorely missed. Yuri wastes no time, knowing just how to work you, by taking a long drag up the underside of your cock all the way to the tip and leaving a warm glistening trail, and then suckling on your head like she knows she was always good at.Â
Sheâs gorgeous. Never mind the way her tongue swirls on your tip, nor how she pays special attention to the slit of your cock, nor even the way she releases with a pop each time before coming back down for more. Itâs all of ten seconds that she keeps those soft, or piercing, or mysterious eyes on yours, right when they flutter closed to enjoy having your cock in her mouth once again. Itâs blasphemous reverence: the way she tilts her head left and right to make sure she coats your length with her spit, and the delicious heat of her mouth, her subtle yet firm tracing of her tongue along every vein on your cock she can reach, is nothing short of heaven.Â
For a moment, she retracts, and you sigh a breath of relief. Itâs too soon, much too soon, but the way she gazes at you lovingly from between your legs tells you everything you need to know: she wouldnât mind a second, third, fourth round with you. âYou were saying?â she teases, her lips still stuck gently on the underside of your cock, tiny sucks and licks in that sensitive spot she knows you have.Â
You confess, âI forgot,â just as she makes a particularly long stripe of saliva from your base to tip. Itâs that deadly smirk pulling up only one side of her mouth, that look she gives when sheâs amused. It drives you crazy, and she knows it.Â
âMind if I take a guess?â she relents, just for a moment, retreating her mouth and replacing it with light, lazy strokes. Her fingers work you the way she knows youâre weak against, tracing her fingertips in the most sensitive spots she could only know through her very own trial and error.Â
Before you know it, her free hand is no longer free, holding up her phone and showing you the screen. A guttural moan escapes you as she gives you those deep strokes you love her doing, keeping her lips on your head, as it finally connects: sheâs calling her co-star.Â
He picks up, and amidst a raucous background, âHello? Yuri?â and immediately you know what sheâs playing at. A loud pop, followed by a drag of her tongue around her lips, and she says back, âAre we dating?â Her gaze stays sharp on you, hand unceasingly tight around your base, but above all else, she looks bored. And, perhaps, a little bit annoyed to be hearing a voice she absolutely would not want to be hearing otherwise.Â
âUh, if youâre freeââ more of that background noise, and you surmise heâs in some club, ââIf youâre free, let me buy you a drinkââÂ
Yuri just stays hovering over your tip, her tongue sliding again and again over your slit, letting her spit dribble down the sides of your shaft. You know sheâs bored now, and a little bit displeasedânot by the apparently disappointing phone call, but by you who forced her to make it in the first place.Â
âJustâŠâ she mumbles, making sounds suspiciously like sucking on a lollipop for the call, âAre we dating? Yes or no?â
âNo,â said the other voice, tentatively and having taken way too long, âI donât think we are, yet, unleââ and she drops the call. Her phone lands on the mattress, bouncing slightly, before Yuri takes half your length into her mouth again. Itâs that heat of her that youâre loving: the utmost care she showers all over your cock, the pointed attention she gives to you and you alone, the deliberate slowness and pressure she knows you like. The other half she canât fit in your mouth, she strokes with her hand, as her cheeks hollow out around you, and she tries just a little bit harder with every bob of her head to take more of you in.Â
âY-Yuri,â you canât resist. Everything in you wants to be rough with her again, to have what sheâs promised only you can have all along. Thereâs absolutely no sign or hesitance in her eyes when your hand makes for the back of her head; only a breath held in anticipation of whatâs to come. She halts, pressure constant and unchanging in her mouth and hand, cradling your cock like itâs something precious. A beat passes, sheâs waiting for you, and you finally give in.Â
Push her gently down. Her hand makes way, and her tongue works the underside of your cock as she takes more and more of you in. Itâs slow, careful, almost shy, as if you were a stranger when you arenâtâyou never were.Â
Her nose meets your pubic bone, eyes slightly watery, the way she takes you tells you thereâs nowhere sheâd rather be. Youâre not even pushing her at this point anymore; just taking the pressure of going all the way for her, promising her that you want this too. Her throat squeezes and constricts, massaging your cock in all the perfect spots, wrapping your length in an intoxicating heat, while she makes all these tiny attempts at making eye contact with you, only to fail when she feels you throb against the muscles of her throat, causing her to gag and settle and gag and settle. Even when you let go, retreating your hand away from the dark, fluffy strands of her hair, she stays wrapped around your length, not at all fighting for anything but merely letting you feel her.
But her need to breathe prevails, and she rises slowly, savoring the way your length slides and throbs against the walls of her throat. Yuri fully pulls her face off of your crotch, lines of spit still connecting, her breath heaving warm air onto your soaked cock. She takes a moment to steady her breathing and her heart, before wiping the spent saliva off her lips with the back of her hand. Then, as if nothing happened, she looks up at you with a teasing smirk. She knows she has you wrapped around her finger.Â
It's really that easy for her to take your breath away. You almost succumb to the long, slow, deep strokes she makes on your shaft, throbbing even more against her palm, and her relenting when she knows you're getting worked up and getting close. It's heaven if it weren't hell, yet you love every second of it. It's a long time coming, and you're set on enjoying all the attention she gives you again.
But even so, it's different: the way she smirks changes ever so slightly, and you could never know whyâyou just feel it, know it. It devolves into something you've seen on her before, but never on the screen; not the smile she wears on stage performing her hit songs, nor the smile she puts on between the director yelling âactionâ and âcut.â No, it's the smile she shows you when it's nearly midnight and she needs her cuddles before a big day, the show of quiet contentment when she's leaning back in her chair with a massive plate of spicy marinated crab shells in front of her, it's the smile that's nothing but softness when sheâs taking a break from packing for a location shoot and you promise her you'll stay up until 3 a.m. for her goodnight video call.
It's that smile she only ever shows you, and as she climbs on your lap again, her eyes never leave yours, that smile never shifts from her mouth. Yuri comes in close, plants a slow kiss on your lips, empties her lungs as her eyes flutter shut. She wraps her arms around your neck, tilts her head slightly to the left, makes tiny licks on your tongue whenever you allow it.Â
She starts, âCan Iââ but you already know. She hovers slightly over your cock, dripping liquid heat right onto your tip, teasing herself with it and rubbing her slick folds on you. You know it, and she knows it, only having fun, enjoying yourselves, no pressure, just⊠home.
She sinks herself onto you, her pussy lips parting at your familiar length. Even through it all, sheâs hellishly tight as you remember, searing heat enveloping your length, giving delicious pleasure to every inch of you. Her descent is slow, almost savoring, as her grip on you tightens with every passing second.Â
Sheâs beautiful. Her eyes closed in what you could only surmise is perfect bliss, head lolling back as if offering everything of her to you. The dim light of the moon filters through her hair, illuminating what she always considered her good side. It reflects off the smoothness of her skin, just the right amount of light to show you tantalizing glimpses of her curves: the swell of her breasts, the dip of her waist, the flex of her neck. Lean in, pull her close, take advantage of her vulnerability like she wants you to. You find the pulse on her neck like second nature, and the minute tugs as she snakes her fingers through your hair tell you more than words ever could. She holds you in place as you kiss and suck at her weak point, knowing youâre just as vulnerable in this moment as she is, and you can feel, with the way her grip is gentle yet needy, hungry yet loving, wanting to take so much but also wanting to give back.Â
Only barely having forgotten, she finally sits herself onto your lap. Sheâs still for a moment, drinking in your affection through the kisses you place all over her neck and collarbone, trying to find her bearings as you hold her steady in place. Her heart beats against your chest, her breath tickles your shoulder, and before she pulls back to look you straight in the eyes again, she mumbles, âI missed you.â
It doesnât take long before she captures your lips again. She starts a slow grind on your lap, and you help her along with your hands on her waist, feeling her warmth against your palms. Itâs only small noises now: the deep exhale of a breath held too long, tiny whimpers slipping through the gaps of your lips, the gasp caught in her throat as you hit that perfect spot inside her. Above all else, thereâs no hurryâshe doesnât make any effort to speed up, nor do you let her. Yuri maintains her pace on your lap, grinding instead of bouncing, fully feeling you inside her, as she says, âI really missed you.â
Deeper is the game, and both of you know it. Yuri leans forward, drawing herself closer onto you. It gives her that much of a better angle that her moans draw out longer, that you feel the quiver in her thighs just that little bit more. She arches her back in your direction, and you take that opportunity: you catch her nipple as she gets close, sucking and licking to your heartâs pleasure. Itâs give and take when it comes to this position, like it always was with you two: âMmhâ and âfuckâ and âpleaseâ in the empty spaces you never really needed to fill but do anyway. In every single one is the love you only now get to show each other again, and by God will you love her.Â
Itâs everything all at once, and you canât get enough. The jiggle of her boobs against your face, her incessant pulling of you harder onto her chest, the steady speeding up of her grinding on your lap until sheâs pathetically leaking onto the sheets below. âShit, shit, shit,â she whines, getting closer and closer to her peak, and with the way youâre wrapping your arms around her waist, lapping up the drops of sweat that fall down the valley of her breasts, bouncing her on you with help from the mattress, youâre drawing close right with her.
Pressure mounts, the floodgates strain, and her tiny whimpers are music to your ears. Sheâs scratching marks on your back now, sinking her teeth in your shoulder, and you donât mind the sting at all. You hold her tight, no doubt leaving handprints on either side of her waist, getting faster and faster vying to keep up with her when you know sheâs straining to keep up with you. Itâs that one final bounce, that broken moan, that sudden jerk that sends you over the edge. âMmh,â just as youâre sucking her other nipple, and you bite down a bit too hard without meaning to. But, instead of anything else, she pulls you in, nearly jerking, as she throws her head back. You feel goosebumps forming up and down her back, and she gets that much tighter around your length. Itâs that moment when her voice cracks, and she finally lets go, and her squirt floods your lap, coating your entire length with liquid heat as she convulses over and over around you. It triggers you too, and within a second, you pull her down, embedding yourself as deep as possible into her. You shoot spurt after spurt after spurt of your hot seed into her waiting womb, and she welcomes it by milking you for everything you have. Even with her going crazy bouncing on your cock, spraying her squirt all over your crotch, she takes in every drop you give her. It feels like forever, filling her up with your cum, pushing more and more into her, and she thrashes against you that you have to hold her still. You keep cumming and cumming, until sheâs only wringing small spurts out of you.Â
Then, nothing. The air is still and full and humid, the only proof that you exist being the ragged breaths the pair of you take. Her grip on your shoulders is loosening, and you slowly pull yourself from her chest and meet her gaze again.
âHoly shit, that was hot,â she gasps, chest heaving against yours. Her arms are limp around your neck, same as yours around her waist, holding loosely but holding all the same, just to let her know youâre still there. Her head finds the crook of your neck, snuggles into it. You feel her breaths on your shoulder, and you savor the moment of having been her utmost happiness, even for just a little while.Â
âYou good?â you attempt. A beat passes.
âI think so.âÂ
A breath.Â
âI missed you.â
Another beat, another breath.Â
âI missed you too.â
Pull a blanket over her and you, kiss what you can reach of her hair. Beyond that you stay motionless save for your own breaths. The last thing you want is for her to move, or, God forbid, get off of you. So you stay still; sheâs comfy enough, and you have that trust in her that sheâd tell you if she needed a change in position. But it never comes.Â
The blaring urban jungle of New York City may as well be millions of miles away from your little world of just you and her. Inhales and exhales, small squeezes of fingers, split-second blinks that youâd never have noticed otherwise had her face not been buried in your neck. The world is dark and silent and unmoving, and for a second, you think that eternity like this may not be so bad.Â
Itâs almost a shame to break the silence. But with her, it comes like it was destined: âI canât sleep.âÂ
~~~
âThatâs a fucking massive tilt into big tech.â Way too dramatically do you slam your coffee cup onto the table. She laughs out loud at it, clutching her own for the last few slivers of warmth it can offer. âIf youâre gonna buy tech, buy tech. Why an ETF?â
âBecause,â she smirks, still incredulous and irreverent and mayhaps a slight bit teasing, âitâs diversifying. I donât want to be caught up in the whims of the market.â
âYouâd have been better off commissioning some AI prompter for some fanfiction.â Bury your face in your hands, feign this frustration that she used to always love about you. You hang your head low, her laughter picks up higher, and in this moment, you feel neither you nor she would rather be anywhere else.Â
She takes a sip, then âExcuse me for using my own hard-earned cash to make a bet for the fucking tech industry.â You can tell, by the way her voice clears up from that early morning roughness, that the coffee is working its magic. âI have hope for this future, you know. QQQ isnât the worst option out there.â
âThen buy Nvidia!â You explode, though every bit of heat from it is fake, and she all but falls out of her chair laughing-crying. âBuy Apple! Buy fucking Microsoft before Copilot tanks it even worse, for fuckâs sake! Youâre paying fees you donât have to pay for! God, itâs like talking to a brick wall,â and to drive the point home, you lean back, past your own chairâs backrest in faux exasperation, feeling the roughness of the actual brick wall on your hair and scalp. Through it all, she clutches what she can of her stomach through the layers and layers of blankets, tears nearly falling from the corners of her eyes from laughing the most beautiful laugh youâve ever heard.
A star streaks through space, or at least you think it was a star, barreling through the pinks and reds of a sky only starting to stir. Looking back down, across the small marble table, past the pair of rapidly cooling coffee mugs placed quite close to each other and to each of you, Yuri meets your gaze. The metal railing wobbles slightly with the air currents this high up, and the crisp dawn atmosphere sends chills up and down your spine even through the bundle of jackets and coats youâve wrapped yourself in. The wind blows through her hair and yours, momentarily pushing her bangs out of place. Reach over, pat them back down. She wouldnât have minded, having only you up here, to show her forehead like that. Butâ
âThanks. Iâm still getting over it.âÂ
âYou looked really pretty in that Love Shhh stage. I liked that look.â
âGod, please donât remind me,â she giggles, hiding her face in her coat underneath the three blankets sheâs also chosen to keep herself warm with. She pulls up her sleeve all the way past her fingers, then reaches over and takes your hand in hers. After a moment of staring into the changing colors that make up the grand sky, âStay a while.â
You give an incredulous exhale through your nose, letting the fog of it rise up and dissipate into the atmosphere. Little by little, the windows in the building across the urban chasm go dark, and the chatter of New York City picks up at ground level, lightyears below you. Taking a sip of your now-cold beverage, âDonât you have somewhere to be today?â
âWould you believe me if I said I had a date?â
You chuckle. âNo, not really.â
âThen there you go.â She gives your hand a gentle yet firm squeeze before pulling back, exposing the skin of your palm to the frigid morning air once more. She narrowly avoids the coffee, picking up hers and downing the last few sips of it in one go, âStay here with me.â She pulls the several layers of blankets around her tighter, tilts her head back inside towards the warm, fluffy bed waiting for her. âUnless you have a date.â
âI do, actually,â you say back, getting up and stretching as far as you can without really exposing your midriff to the nippy air, âbooked and busy the rest of the day.â
âOh yeah? I take it this girl is a real catch.â
âShe is, and she just invited me to spend the day in bed with her. So, there you go.â She giggles, and you walk over to her side of the table. She doesnât really say anything, just watching, perhaps admiring, as you get closer, and more so when you scoop up the bundle of blankets and warmth in your arms. Once you regain your balance and make for the sliding glass balcony door, she sighs, accidentally brushing away her bangs from shielding her forehead, and as the heat of the great indoors meets her skin again through all those layers, she leans her head on your shoulder.Â
âYou know, I really hate being so,â sheâs being careful with her words, and despite wanting to say that she doesnât need to be, you also know itâd be a lie to say so, âso reckless. I donât like it. And you, well, you make me less reckless. Is that bad?â
Tug at the outermost blanket sheâs cocooned in, and she gives it up much too readily. You get in bed with her, unceremoniously just plopping into the empty white space next to this girl, âWhy would it be bad? Without you, Iâm all jealous and doubtful and all that shit. Thatâs even worse, I think.âÂ
âMm, maybe.â She turns to you. Always to you. âThen I guess we justâŠâ
emotion | sickly sweet | to love somebody (or to keep you close)
To quote Days with Somi: Expression by @valentinedrifter and twist it to your situation:
Hong Eunchae loves having sex.
Specifically, having sex with you.
Although there's this little remark that you should be concerned about.
Hong Eunchae doesn't love.
Specifically, she doesn't love you.
â
The door clicks shut for the last time of the day, and you're alone in the studio again.
Your mind is (metaphorically) scattered â contempt, turmoil, wistful. You're obviously not sorrowful. You can't allow yourself to be like that. Your hands hover over the sliders and buttons and panels of the mixing console competently as ever, even if your brain is a mess, even if your cock still feels the warmth of her cunt pulsing around it, even if you're about to cry for the first time in years.
Okay, shit, you have to cry.
The room still reminds you of Eunchae, unfortunately. The microphone she used as an excuse to lure you in is still there. The floor of the recording area has these droplets of her juice. The wall reeks of her perfume and squirt â so wicked.
Eunchae says all these things: I hate labels, don't kiss me on my lips. The signpost is fucking massive â red flag, precautions, warnings. Yunjin explicitly stated the emotional disaster Eunchae can be â can stir inside you â yet you let your heart slip into this ugly, catastrophic state for hers. There's this possibility that you're in love just with the idea of her â her being this perfect girlfriend without any flaws in her soul, smiling happily because of you. It's such a perfect cadence in your head.
In real life, however, it's still a misery. The best you can get is her body â fucking her through and through, making her moan on your cock, filling her to the brim with your essence â but not her fucking heart.
And now, in the studio, you just sit there, suppressing yourself from the inevitable surge of melancholy raging inside you.
The first drop of tears falls from your eyes, eventually.
â
turnstyle, 0:03: you up?
The whirring of the heater fills the room with warmth, casting a spell of comfort all over. You lie under your blanket idly, your phone in your hand. The screen shines into your eyes in the dark night, just hours after your second tryst with Eunchae. That's the third sentence in a row with a clause followed by a phrase, should vary the structure. Your mind keeps replaying this image of debauchery in the recording studio â words, moans, sensations. Unbelievably vivid, you'd call it.
Three dots bouncing from the other side, then:
jensuisjen, 0:05: kinda
jensuisjen, 0:05: what is up
jensuisjen, 0:06: aside from me lol
You recount the debased events from earlier: her voice, her hands, her lips. You hesitate a bit as your thumbs type down the order of happenings to Yunjin, unsure if you should open yourself to her fully. Still, you have no one else to reach out to. Your parents aren't the emotional type. Your friends are living too far away. And Eunchae is, well, the offender of this typhoon, so it's just Yunjin for now.
The trio of dots will linger quite a long time on Yunjin's side.
jensuisjen, 0:09: wow long message
jensuisjen, 0:09: please keep writing though i wanna read
It's mostly about the incident first, in your first block of message â the microphone, the walls, the belt. Then, there comes the second message to Yunjin, a much, much shorter â succinct, even â telling of your state of the heart. There's the uncertainty of your love for (the idea of) Hong Eunchae. It surely feels nothing short of peculiar to open up to someone who has been lauded as a public, picture-perfect figure like this, but you need to talk to one if you're to fall in love with another.
jensuisjen, 0:14: wow
Then, there's quite a lengthy pause from Yunjin. You're a bit concerned, really, but you have to give her time to process. She's perhaps completely shocked by the whole ordeal of your rendezvous in the studio, then your emotions, then your affection. She's seeing you in a new light, regardless of being bad or good.
jensuisjen, 0:17: that was something
jensuisjen, 0:17: [Grimacing Face]
jensuisjen, 0:18: ok wait i can't get the image out of my head
jensuisjen, 0:18: like i was in there one sec and you fuck her the next second lol
jensuisjen, 0:19: you guys are fucking freaks lmoa
You guys â you should correct her over that. Eunchae doesn't want to be whole with you, at least romantically. You let it slide, though.
turnstyle, 0:20: i have to tell her i think
turnstyle, 0:21: like
Then there's a stop â one that's a little too long for Yunjin's liking, perchance. You just don't know what to say!
jensuisjen, 0:22: like
What do you tell Eunchae, though? You don't want to be just friends-with-benefits, and you want more than that?
Let's reiterate over your heart a bit.
In all honesty, you're missing a fuckton of details for Eunchae. You don't know her birthday â just the 2006 part. You can't remember her perfume. You're unaware of her preferences in things. One thing you're certain of, however, is that you want her close to you. You want her to pull the trigger on the gun that you gave her when you met. Okay, perhaps two things: you wanna wake up next to her every day and see her smile first thing in the morning. Alright, three: you want emotional closeness, despite your narcissistic tendencies, despite all of your flaws. And to conclude with about two chapters of the story with you and Hong Eunchae â the kiss, the finger, the sex, after everything:
You can't figure out what the hell you want out of and for her.
There's neither unity nor resonance to it.
turnstyle, 0:25: ykw
turnstyle, 0:26: i don't think i know my feelings for her either
turnstyle, 0:26: idea or person idk
jensuisjen, 0:26: hmm
jensuisjen, 0:27: dw
jensuisjen, 0:27: you should talk to her still
turnstyle, 0:27: yeah i gotta
turnstyle, 0:28: no sex
jensuisjen, 0:28: lmoa
turnstyle, 0:29: yeah
You chuckle softly.
turnstyle, 0:30: gn
turnstyle, 0:31: thanks for tonight
jensuisjen, 0:31: gn [Kissing Face with Closed eyes]
As always, you just double tap her final message and call it a night.
â
We're on the release day of the EP â a Friday, one post meridiem â and your song is a success.
You can't give fewer fucks regarding the other tracks: the spoken-word prelude, the title track, the alt-pop, the compulsory final ballad. You rush to check the score for your track on Album of the Year and RateYourMusic. It fluctuates a bit during the first few hours. You keep refreshing the page while you are outside in the spring chill, having your somewhat late lunch in a park.
After a while, it settles at a satisfactory score. It might go down a tad more over time, but you're happy with the outcome. The reviews are reassuring: a breath of fresh air for K-pop, meticulously produced, derivative in its lyrical themes, but an encouraging sign for the industry.
Normally, you'd be spending your fortune on a vacation or whatever, celebrating yet another critical success. Still, despite the positive appraisals, you can't take your mind off the heartbreaking nature of your more-than-friends-but-not-lovers relationship with Hong Eunchae.
(Or, well, situationship â in simpler and worse terms.)
It has been an entire month since the detached rendezvous with Eunchae in the studio â the spearmint breath, the no-lips policy, the softness of her skin. There have been zero conversations between yourselves since she exited the door â messages, phone calls, face-to-face talks, just none. She has been busy with the pre-comeback promotional cycle, and you understand the fact. Still, you've been utterly haunted by it every single day, both by your feelings and the ambiguity.
Eunchae remains preoccupied with the music shows and post-release promotions. You watch her perform, of course you do. For the first time, you start to catch the flair and dexterity in her movements when she dances. You dream of her voice echoing in your head every other night, and half of the On Repeat playlist on your Spotify becomes LE SSERAFIM. Your concentration is totally ruined during the day just at the thought of her â again, her spearmint lips, her no-lips practice, her skin's plushness.
Still, in the wake of your desperate yearning for her, you just don't have the heart to tell Eunchae that you don't want this. You don't have the heart to demand more than her body and proximity out of this. You don't have the heart to ask for her love.
Academically, all in all, you want to keep her close, but keeping her close like this is also killing you.
And you can do nothing to evade that downfall.
â
The first week of the EP's release has passed. Hybe reports the album sales as a modest accomplishment, comfortable enough for another project in half a year. Your career with them is restored to the safety zone with your dreamy wall of sounds and the theme of longing. It resonates with people. The melody is lovely. The lyrics are engaging.
Your love life isn't resolved, still.
There's a little difference in your relationship from last week. You've tried to send something to Eunchae a few times. You type into the message box in your chat with her, albeit tragically, only to end up clearing it out of cowardice, over the terror of losing her forever.
In terms of health, you can't fucking sleep properly for the last three days. Insomnia begins to set in with all the stress clumping up. You keep waking up every 90 minutes somehow. In the morning, you don't feel like you're fully charged, and you're just forced to spend the rest of the day with baggy eyes and a barely beating heart.
The world is kind enough to give you another chance, though â another push.
It's still spring, but the air isn't agonizingly cold anymore. You don't really tremble in this temperature. A long sleeve shirt and a pair of jeans suffice for you. You tread along the sidewalk, burdened, mentally drained, physically deteriorated. Your brain is not functioning properly, and you keep walking exhaustedly for nobody knows how far â directionless, with no destination in mind. Eunchae's name gets repeated in your mind like an endless prayer â a true decadence for you. You're truly scatterbrained right now, and nothing canâ
"Hey!" a voice calls from the road.
You keep walking. They're not asking forâ
"Producer!"
Okay, that cannot be anyone but you. How many producers are in Seoul right now? You turn to the speaker immediately.
There is, physically, an obsidian (writer's hasty Google search) black car parked by the sidewalk. Two men in suits are standing in front of the sliding door â the bodyguards from that day you ate an uncohesive kebab? Inside is Huh Yunjin in a cream sweater and some kind of pants, sitting in her seat and looking your way.
"Wanna hop in?"
You look at Yunjin, confused by her unprompted appearance in your area â BLACKPINK style. How convenient of her to appear at your low point in life like this?
"It's just me and the guys! The rest are at Inkigayo already," Yunjin continues, and a part of you feels better with the knowledge that Eunchae isn't here. Then, of course, you hop into the car. The door closes promptly, and you find yourself sitting inside the van with Huh Yunjin.
(And the driver.)
(And the bodyguards.)
"I slept in," Yunjin starts as the van moves forward. "How are you? Haven't seen you since, what, the recording day, right?" she asks with a smile â friendly, disarming.
Might sound overly dramatic, but you almost want to hug her right now and cry within her arms, if not for her makeup that's already there on her. You just go with your nonchalant composure first, even if you look like shit physically. "Been better."
"Been better my ass," Yunjin immediately rebukes, and you agree with that statement, really. "You look like a fucking zombie."
You give her an awkward smile, then: "How are you, though?"
A laugh from her, then: "You're the one to ask," she scoffs, and you can only grimace. "Alright, it's the usual comeback stuff: practices, events, music shows. We've barely gotten any sleep this past week."
"We? How's Eunchae?" That's mean to Yunjin, but you can't help it!
"Ouch, I'm still talking about myself here," and Yunjin chuckles. She knows where you're coming from, thankfully. "Okay, a question for you: have you talked to her yet?"
"I did try writing in her message box," you answer truthfully, entirely too spent to lie.
Yunjin gives you this are-you-deadass expression â a mix of disappointment and confusion. "That's not encouraging, if we're being honest," she states.
And if you're being honest, "Yeah, I just," and you kind of become aware of the people around you in the van all of a sudden: two bodyguards and one driver. "You guys are not telling her, right?" you ask the guys.
They turn to you and nod. Alright, your not-so-anti-fragile, failing state of mind is safe with them.
You take a deep breath before opening yourself a little more to Yunjin. Your heart beats faster. Your breaths quicken. "I just, fuck, I wanna keep her close to me."
"And you look atrocious in this state of situationship. Not that I'm siding with you â gotta be fair to you guys â but you really, really need to talk to her."
"I'm trying! Butâ" Yunjin's deathly glare stops another excuse leaving your lips.
She sighs, expression softening before half-ordering you, "You should do it tonight, after today's show. What are we? I want more than being your friend-slash-fuck-buddy. Just make it simple."
You look at the bodyguards and the driver as if to survey their opinions regarding the topic. They nod agreeingly, and you can do nothing but purse your lips timidly.
"You can delay a bit until the end of the promotion if you want â let things settle and stuff â but I don't think you'd ask her if I don't encourage you like this," Yunjin continues, shrugging. "And I don't wanna sing a sad song for the next EP," she says with a chuckle. You almost smile along with her.
"Okay, we're here!" The driver announces. That's rather fast. You didn't even realize that you were walking this close to the Inkigayo studio under the spring air.
"Alright!" and Yunjin pulls you into a hug suddenly. Warm. Her perfume is rosy. Loving. Her sweater is a little scratchy, but you don't mind that. Consoling. You can feel your tear ducts about to break loose, really.
"Thanks," you utter. "I'll text her tonight."
Yunjin releases you from her arms, and you make way for her to get out of the van into the studio. She gives you a few more final words before she disappears into the building still.
"I don't know how this will end, to be honest," Yunjin manages, then a smile â sincere, "but I hope you guys can still talk to each other after this, no matter what happens"
You smile back at her with a glimmer of hope â the hope that it won't break your heart.
"Thanks."
â
Deep breath.
Exhale.
Deep breath.
Exhale.
Deep breath.
Send.
turnstyle, 22:47: hey
turnstyle, 22:47: can we talk
turnstyle, 22:48: about us
turnstyle, 22:48: i think i want more than
turnstyle, 22:48: this
You wait for about five minutes, staring at the screen, wishing for an instant reply. There's no read indicator popping up from Eunchae's side, and you just put your phone back on the nightstand at seven to eleven (not sponsored), and you just sleep.
You still can't rest well, despite the sent message. Your imagination runs wild in the realm of possibilities of her words that you will-slash-might see in the morning. She might just break up with you. She might just read without replying. She might not even read it. You just can't stop these thoughts, and they're eating you up from the inside.
Bleak dream as well: her face, her voice, her smell. It's just so vivid under the merciless nocturne.
Still, despite the probable predicaments plaguing your mental well-being, you wake up to:
notyoureunchae, 2:14: after the promo
notyoureunchae, 2:14: promise
That's a week away, and it's the only thing you can hold on to, really. There's nothing else you can act on or hope for.
(Also, great, the time is making up as February 14th â lovely day.)
All of this because of a woman named Hong Eunchae â Manchae, smile potato, not yours.
â
The week is fucking grueling. You try not to be a deadweight for Yunjin, despite how much willpower is needed not to text and vent and cry in the DM. You spend the 168 hours (give or take) on Ableton and going outside and meeting your friends and doing new shenanigans. Still, you swear that time is fucking with you. It's as if someone keeps halting its motion.
You stop watching music shows for the entirety of seven days; you just can't bring yourself to do it. Everything tells you that Eunchae remains professional on broadcasts as always â smiling, dancing, singing on the stage. You just know she can do it, and a part of your heart wishes her to do well, really, even if the other is dreading an answer from her, even if the other wants her to prioritize itself.
Your song is still doing well on the charts, hitting a decent position for a B-side. It gets some acclaim with minimal complaints. That fact keeps you going, indeed. Though the arrogance and ego are completely demolished for Eunchae to occupy your messy mind freely â her eyes, her voice, her lips that she refuses to let you press yours against. Oh, you know the boundaries she set. You know she's aware of her own capacity to love someone. You know she's being incredibly mature about this. Oh, why are you still wishing for something that you'll never have?
(To intervene, you're like a fucking gambler right now, betting on seventeen black â a metaphor for her emotions for you in this case â and you just let it ride.)
You keep interrogating yourself about everything during the long wait â your feelings, your attachment, your qualities â and sometimes you get answers, sometimes you don't. They don't stop you from seeking solutions, though. The silence gives you time to discover yourself, to find the perfect cadence in the diverse frequencies of the world.
And the most important note: to find out whether you love her.
The time comes, eventually.
A message pops up at the top of your screen one day. You're in your bed scrolling Reddit.
notyoureunchae, 10:29: promo done
You open Instagram immediately to find three dots bouncing from Eunchae's side.
notyoureunchae, 10:30: come to the dorm
notyoureunchae, 10:30: we can talk
Your mental ability doesn't allow you to read between the lines, and the fact bugs you, to be honest. Her feelings remain a mystery. You take a walk from your place to hers in an instant, nonetheless.
â
There's a Thai tea sitting idly in front of you â vividly orange, sickly sweet. Eunchae is facing you on the couch, legs crossed. She's wearing a baby-blue shirt and a pair of snow-white shorts. Her back hunches a bit. The weight of expression on her face tells you that she's more than aware of the seriousness of the words you're about to say. Her hair is still a tad wet from the recent shower. There remains a soft whir of the heater working against the late spring cold. The room smells of spring-like air freshener â a redundancy to the atmosphere outside.
"I've been thinking," you start, attempting to express your state of mind you've had for the past six or so weeks to your situationship, but only an exhale leaves your lips.
"I think I want to keep you close," Eunchae says. The words come out rather airy and light, and the message is sent â an incomplete affection.
"I know," you reply with a weak smile, head falling down a bit. "I want to be close to you as well, but it's just," and you pause. The heaviness of the main confession dawns upon yourselves for a heartbeat. "Not like this."
You hear Eunchae breathe a tad louder against the whirring of the living room's heater. She shifts on the couch slightly. "Not that I haven't thought about us," Eunchae starts, looking at you sympathetically. You can feel it in her eyes, even if it's not quite what you've been chasing these past few weeks. "After your message, I kinda get the way you reacted after that."
i think i want more than
this
You stay silent in front of her, eyes on the leather of the couch, replaying the moment where you evaded her hand in the studio. Perhaps it was post-sex clarity. Perhaps it was contempt for yourself. Perhaps it was both.
Eunchae continues, "And I kind of realized that: I didn't think about your feelings enough."
(Off-screen realization: Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't. You appreciate the character growth, of course.)
"Wait, no," you stop her. "You set the boundaries clearly: labels, no kissing, just sex." You don't want her to take the blame just because your heart is weak. "I put myself through it."
"And you got hurt."
Her delivery isn't charged, not really, but the meaning is loaded enough for Eunchae to take a halt and move back a bit.
That's a brand new melody you've just discovered with Hong Eunchae:
She cares about you, at least more than you've thought.
You give her an utterly confused look before uttering, "You care about that?" Does she really care about your feelings? "About me?"
Eunchae scoffs lightly, not mocking. "You're a hypocritical, narcissistic asshole, but you're also an asshole I think about too much," she manages. You hear a soft sniffling sound from her. "I know that I'm not good at this â caring for someone. It took me, like, two years for me to start bonding with the girls off-camera."
You chuckle softly, and you mutter, "I'm fucking twenty-one, and I can't be half as good as you are at it. I'm, like, a shitty person."
"A shitty person that, again, I," and Eunchae pauses for another scoff. Her eyes are all glossy from the brimming tears. "Care about." She sniffles again, this time wiping the tears from her eyes as well.
With courage, you're the one who cups her face with your hand this time. Her flushed cheek warms against your palm. She looks at you with something that's almost a smile.
"I don't know if I can do this â this fucking," Eunchae utters shakily. You don't stop her tears running down her cheeks slowly with the pull of gravity. You just let her cry.
"I don't know either," you utter, "but I miss you â on the train, in the morning. I never know what to think about, and I think about you."
"Really?"
"Definitely, maybe."
Eunchae half-laughs, half-sniffles. "Fuckass."
You chuckle lightly, brushing your thumb on her cheek. A drop of tear smears your hand â warm. You smell her salty toothpaste coming from her mouth. She looks into your eyes â so teary and disarmed.
For you, there remain a few emotional loose ends to be tied, and they're so abundant in their nature, blighting your heart, withering your ability to maintain closeness. Still, with Eunchae, for the first time in your life, you seem ready to face them, to find happiness in your imperfect cadence together.
"I still hate labels," Eunchae whispers quaveringly. Then, a tiny smile appears on her lips. She's aware of your emotions â setting boundaries, a caveat, a warning. "But I know that," and a pensive exhale, "I'm saying this again: I want to keep you close."
You feel her heartbeat softly on the cheek. To sound similar to LLMs, they're small, persistent thumps against your hand, against the soft sounds from another planet (not sponsored) of the heater. She's still looking into your eyes, and to be honest, you can't read too much intent behind it aside from the tears and the slight dilation of her pupils. She wants you close, that's certain and overly looped. She has stripped off her defenses with you. She cares about you.
She just doesn't love you.
That's messy, really. It's incomplete. You've wrestled with the fact for weeks. You've teased with the probability that it might shatter your heart into little pieces after this, making your future discography become an expression of your own sorrow. It has been looming over you like that. That's ugly, really.
Yet you're willing to indulge in it somehow â this strange kind of love.
Corporeally, to ground the scene, your hand is still on Eunchae's cheek. She's sniffling softly against the soft whirring of the heater and the birds chirping outside. Tears fall from her eyes into your weak, under-worked palm. Your faces are so close to each other. Her breath mingles on your face tenderly â still salt. You don't move in for a kiss. It still feels wrong to be this close to her with all the unresolved feelings and definitions, but maybe just caring for her heart and craving her intimacy are already enough for now.
"Can I ask you something?" Eunchae breaks the silence, coincidentally at the time your train of thoughts comes to a halt. She reaches forward for the hem of your thin sweater, running her fingers behind the hem of it softly. Her knuckles graze against your skin â warm to the touch â and you shiver lightly, sucking in air through your teeth. Your logic is collapsing at her proximity again. And once more, you just let her demolish your integrity headquarters into rubble (atrocious imagery).
"You ready to kiss me now?" you scoff, though still half-expect her to say yes, even if the signposts aren't pointing towards that. The notes aren't complementing.
Eunchae lets out a discouraged sigh, gripping your sweater a tad tighter. The intent becomes even clearer now â just proximity, but not all of you. There's the hope of not yet, but it's barely flickering. One hand still on her face, you use the other to touch hers that's on your fabric. Eunchae flinches slightly, almost not believing the fact that you're rejecting her vicinity. Her grip on your cloth loosens a bit, and you're aware that seizing the moment is important â not letting her go, making her stay.
And it has to be on your own terms, not solely hers, not akin to the past. This shit is a duet.
You whisper, "Promise me one thing, Eunchae."
Eunchae gulps, and she chokes out, "What is it?"
"Try."
Succinct, direct, compact â that's your demand.
Eunchae stares at you blankly first, and you're almost scared of what she's about to say next.
But all that leaves her mouth are, and you don't get to process them, a smile, then a chuckle.
So, to begin selfishly, you were blue-balled because Yunjin decided to barge into the room while you were being Eunchae's little bitch boy.
Then, to begin with a little more empathy and impartial judgement, Yunjin saw your illicit affairs happening in the same studio that the girls, just mere minutes ago, listened to your demo.
Finally, to begin selflessly, you fucked up.
The relationship is one aspect of risk, indeed â an idol and her peasant, even if almost a young adult prodigy, producer. Your ever-messy emotions are another thing to be considered.
What are we?
I hate labels.
Physically, you're still in the same studio you had your tryst with Eunchae â completely frozen, utterly agitated. You don't bother turning off the demo that has been on loop for the eighth time. It's almost nine (o'clock). Your body cannot move an inch. Well, there are the shaking hands, not voluntarily, however.
You still remember the way Eunchae plunges her left middle finger into your mouth â the floral scent, the metallic tang. You still remember the way she says bitch at you â unforgiving, almost meaningful. You still remember the way her nipples harden between your digits â desire to be touched, aching for your fingerprints.
All of this just to be wholly demolished by an oh my fucking God.
You didn't build a habit of knocking on the doors for them. You didn't close the door, even. You didn't resist the urge to let Eunchae toy with your fragile heart. They're all your fault, obviously.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Okay, you need a plan â an emergency plan. The comeback is in a month. You should see Eunchae and Yunjin just one more time for the recording. Okay, fuck, what if Yunjin tells the other women you let Eunchae bounce on your lap crazy style?
The comeback is in a month. You should see Eunchae, Yunjin, Chaewon, Sakura, and Kazuha just one more time for the recording.
That's rather fucked up, genuinely.
Maybe you call in for sick leave on the recording day. You don't fucking know. It's probably the best shot you've got at avoiding Eunchae.
Okay, let's see what tomorrow brings first, and you move accordingly.
â
Alright, great, you can't sleep, and tomorrow will be a wait rather than a teleportation. You've been shifting and flipping your pillows back and forth for two and a half hours now. Eunchae and Yunjin are plaguing your mind â the doubts, the risks, your career. You keep replaying the possibilities of the next days in your head nervously. Maybe Eunchae stops talking to you completely. Maybe Yunjin resents you for your rendezvous. Maybe you're getting your ass kicked out of Hybe as damage control from the executives.
Your phone dings with a message, and you pick it up to read it.
jensuisjen, 1:30: we have to talk
You sigh. The allure to open the DM is there, surely, but you just can't faceâ
Oh, your fingers work on their own, prompting a read on Yunjin's side at 1:30 ante meridiem. Yeah, you can't just leave her at that when the clock is in the second half of the night.
You type the first thing that comes to your mind.
turnstyle, 1:30: i'm fucked ain't i
Three dots from Yunjin, then it disappears. Your anticipation runs wild, bracing yourself for the worst â a fuck you, a screw you (practically means the same thing). You close your eyes, not wanting to see the rant Yunjin is about to give you this late into the night. Oh, maybe it's worse. Maybe she just leaves you onâ
jensuisjen, 1:31: [Grimacing Face]
jensuisjen, 1:31: my honest reaction
Oh.
That's not as bad as you thought. Three dots continue bouncing on the screen, though. There's more from Yunjin, and you watch her type expectantly.
jensuisjen, 1:32: i'm just shocked
jensuisjen, 1:32: that's all
So she's shocked, maybe a pang of disdain in there, still.
jensuisjen, 1:32: not that i'm letting you go easily
jensuisjen, 1:33: just never thought you'd see her that way lol
She gets it a bit inaccurately, not too far off the mark, at least. Also, she's probably really just surprised â (likely) zero negative feelings.
turnstyle, 1:33: she kissed me first fwiw
jensuisjen, 1:33: really
jensuisjen, 1:34: ?
turnstyle, 1:34: yeah
turnstyle, 1:34: on the cheek
jensuisjen, 1:35: romantic
Oh, okay, there's no apparent contempt! Sure, you're still wary of your messages you're about to send, but the tension starts to relieve itself. You can feel it. It's like finding a cadence together â not quite perfect, but tender to the ear, for now.
The conversation slowly turns into a fun tug of war â teasing at the potential of you and Eunchae. At one point, you smile quietly in the darkness of your room. Yunjin is melting your heart bit by bit, and you find yourself opening to her a little more with each block of message.
You talk about the day at the dorm â the too-sweet Thai tea, the pleasant-to-the-ear Hatchie, and the not-so-definite-in-its-emotion kiss. She is receptive to your words, nudging you along the way as you let the details of your tryst slip into the reserved space between you and Yunjin.
The important question poses itself, eventually.
jensuisjen, 1:59: so like
jensuisjen, 1:59: are you guys a couple
And yeah, you think â ponder, contemplate, ruminate. Again, you're forced to revisit the structure of your relationship with Eunchae.
I want you â so fucking bad.
I hate labels.
Bitch.
You're, for starters, indubitably her bitch boy. She called you a bitch, at least until Yunjin walked onto the scene. You sucked her left middle finger (so detailed) greedily â bitch, slut, whore, name it. Still, Eunchae refused to have your relationship have a proper meaning. I hate labels. I hate labels. I hate labels.
It's probable that she just uses you for her own entertainment as a surrogate for the hollowness in her heart. Still, feeling a bit playful to hide your concern, you type out:
turnstyle, 2:01: perchance
jensuisjen, 2:01: fym perchance
jensuisjen, 2:02: you can't just say perchance
jensuisjen, 2:02: still
jensuisjen, 2:02: so you guys are just having fun
jensuisjen, 2:03: is there anything else i should be aware of
Well, there's the fact that Eunchae doesn't let you define yourselves as a proper couple. Shit has been bugging you for hours, perhaps it'll turn into days. You're hesitating to tell Yunjin, though â too proud of yourself toâ
turnstyle, 2:03: yeah
Fucking hell, your fingers work on their own again, and you have to follow it up with aâ
turnstyle, 2:03: she won't define it
turnstyle, 2:04: i'm not agreeing with that
turnstyle, 2:04: never said a thing though
There, emotional openness is achieved with Yunjin. Your heart is working overtime to reveal itself to her â the desire for Hong Eunchae â and you sigh exasperatedly, watching the three dots bouncing on Yunjin's side again.
jensuisjen, 2:05: that sucks
Yeah, this fucking sucks.
jensuisjen, 2:06: i gotta talk to her soon still
jensuisjen, 2:06: you want me to talk to her about that?
You think again in the silence of the room that's occasionally interrupted by the sound of your heater. Having someone else be your relationship definition proxy certainly is a choice â not a good one. You kind of trust Yunjin with the half-an-hour conversation you've been having so far, but you're also too proud of yourself to let her do the talking for you. It feels wrong. What if Yunjin pressures Eunchae too much? What if Yunjin tells Eunchae she's better without you? What ifâ
Alright, you're spiraling. Still, the possibilities aren't looking too bright. You'll talk to Eunchae about this like a real man, certainly not because you care about your image of being mentally strong and stable with her.
(As if you didn't just let her call you a bitch.)
turnstyle, 2:08: dw i'll talk to her about it
jensuisjen, 2:08: alr
jensuisjen, 2:08: i tell no one trust
jensuisjen, 2:08: i won't pry further
jensuisjen, 2:09: you tonight and eunchae later
jensuisjen, 2:09: okay i sleep
jensuisjen, 2:09: gn
turnstyle, 2:09: gn
And you double tap the gn from Yunjin.
So, you have to talk to Hong Eunchae about yourself and her.
What are we?
â
It's a good thing that you've finished your demo already. You won't be able to work with such an obstacle of Eunchae's reluctance of declaration suppressing your creativity.
Okay, make the scene tangible; it's recording day.
Oh, shit, it's recording day?
You wake up to the dread of seeing Eunchae's face; that's your first thought in the morning. Showering, brushing your teeth, and breakfast (consisting of Thai tea) don't help you forget it or soothe you. The trip to Hybe headquarters is so bad that you almost crash into another car on the road. Your steps feel heavy and punishing.
The studio feels suffocating â the same place you played your demo, the same place you sucked Eunchae's fingers and her silver ring, the same place Yunjin found out about the incident. The place doesn't reek of Eunchae and you, and instead, they're replaced by air freshener and wooden furniture. You take a seat in front of your mixing console, getting yourself ready for a meeting with the girls.
Five songs for this EP, as always, and you start with Chaewon, then Sakura, Yunjin (fewest lines today), Kazuha, and Eunchae (most lines today) last, in that order.
Chaewon and Sakura don't really give you a look. They just greet you casually and walk into the recording section. Their level of professionalism remains intact, painstakingly high from their IZ*ONE days. You do your usual shenanigans with the mixing console: adjusting treble and bass, adding effects, moving the faders. In the blink of an eye, they're done â just a bit over an hour.
Yunjin is up next.
This time, she knocks the door. It's like you're hiding someone here. You approve the entry, and she walks into the studio.
"Hey," Yunjin greets.
"Hi," you respond. To steer the conversation into your predicament with Eunchae would be rude, so you stifle the urge to do so for now. "You have the least airtime in this EP, by the way," you open in a serious tone.
"Rude," Yunjin jokes with a chuckle, lightening the mood. "Who the fuck initiates a conversation like that? I just walked in here."
"Me, I guess," you respond in a softer tone, earning a tender nudge from Yunjin on your shoulder.
"Fuckass," she curses playfully before entering the recording room.
Yunjin hits the high notes with her inner talent as usual. She dances along to the melody that has already been layered with Chaewon and Sakura's lines as well. Still, you can't help but think if there's bad news ahead of this light-hearted recording session. What if Yunjin acts all cheerful to make you let your guard down before the calamity of her maknae strikes?
Yunjin eventually concludes her parts â twenty-five minutes. She places the headphones on the stand and walks out of the recording area.
"Okay, done!" Yunjin cheers. "I'll go get Kaâwait."
Yunjin looks at you with an awkward grimace, as if nervous to break the news to you. She's making your mind race against the anxiety and fear looming over you. Your mouth opens slightly, but nothing comes out of it â voices, words, meanings. They're all lost by the undoings of your unease â a hushed cadence.
"So, I talked to her," Yunjin starts, and she sighs. "Good news or bad news first?"
"Bad news," you mutter subconsciously. It's second nature to you now to brace yourself for the worst.
"The good news about the bad news is that it's short!" Yunjin breaks the news halfway through, and you just shoot her a confused look.
"What?"
"Kidding," and Yunjin laughs, so unfitting for a person who's about to give you bad news.
"Yunjin," you half-scold.
"Sorry," with an expression of guilt. "Okay, so, the bad news is: Eunchae doesn't want me to know about you guys. That's number one."
"There's two of them?" You utter, along with the thought of your wish for the existence of the Neuralyzer and using it on Yunjin.
"Yep, and the second one is," and Yunjin does a dramatic sigh, "she's not ready for a relationship â her words and my assessment as well."
Yunjin is trying to let you down easy; that's apparent. You feel yourself making this disappointed face â lips tightening, an annoyed exhale.
You steer away from the pain, not quite in the five stages of grief yet. "Your assessment?"
"She's not emotionally competent â my words, though she's aware of it."
"Hence the evasion of labels?" you ask, digging deeper into your vocabulary than usual to subside the pain. That's your grief handling â a defense mechanism, one might say.
Yunjin's voice climbs up in volume as she says: "That kind of leads us to good news!" and she makes these weird hand movements.
You almost chuckle. "And the good news is?"
A ta-da from Yunjin, then: "She still wants you close â physically. She wants someone she can talk to that's not a LE SSERAFIM member, ouch for me, and Chaewon, and Sakura, and Kazuha."
You recognize the term for it instantly. "A fucking situationship?"
"Perchance," Yunjin breezes.
"First of all, you can't just say perchance," you declare, earning a chuckle from Yunjin. "Second, so like, what? A fucking situationship?"
"You just said situationship twice."
"You can't expect me to be in a stable state of mind right now."
"Fair enough."
You've spent years building this sturdy mechanical castle wall that opens on certain terms â in brief, someone who's a good fit for you. It doesn't have to be perfect. That's what you've realized about people. You just need a home, and you thought you found it in Hong Eunchae at your age of twenty-one and her nineteen, really â marvelous music taste, playful, physically and mentally dominant that's totally not a writer's insertion of his type. Your mind reels over the flashback of your intimacy on the couch, just steps away in the corner of this studio â her finger, her smell, her words. You are utterly astounded by this woman, and now to be told that she's emotionally unavailable?
Fuck.
"Do you know how I see you?" Yunjin starts again.
"Are you asking this just to throw bad adjectives at me?"
"Fifty-fifty," and Yunjin shrugs. "You're insanely talented for your age. I know how much you've sacrificed to be here, despite, well, nepotism."
She's right â both the talented part and the nepotism part. You nod agreeingly and audibly.
"And the other half is?"
"You're too far up your own ass," Yunjin says succinctly, voice implying a tinge of frustration, even if she tries to keep it light for a quick closure for Kazuha's entrance in a few minuâ "and you're awfully aware and unaware at the same time. You're a fucking contradiction of a person."
You open your mouth, but you think first. Okay, yes, you don't try the tried-and-true formulas in your production, but you have HOT in your On Repeat [1]. Okay, sure, you love cohesion in foods, yet you eat kebab-slash-shawarma. Okay, alright, your internal narration always describes your arrogance, in lieu of actively fixing it, though, you just leave it there.
Oh.
Yeah, Yunjin's right.
You sigh, completely irked by the confusing cadence of your life. It's supposed to be colorful and unique and unrestrained, sure, but hypocrisy and ego remain as plagues in your heart.
Yunjin seems to notice your mental spiral still. Perhaps it's the sad eyes. Perhaps it's the hunched back.
"Hey," Yunjin starts, tipping your chin up with her hand. Her face gets close to you â not kissing-range close, but not I-hate-the-way-your-breath-smells far. You just chewed a spearmint gum. There's this slight connection of trust between you and Yunjin going on here. "I believe in you, okay? You're like, what, twenty?"
"Twenty-one."
Yunjin chuckles. "There's plenty of time. Keep your head up," she encourages, smiling. You take it as a sincere one. "It's just life, you know."
And you sigh, not really resigning yourself to the depths of your bad parts, but still not too optimistic about your future either â you and Eunchae and all.
"Thanks, I guess," you manage, voice barely above a whisper. Your expression turns into a tired smile.
"Again, I believe in you," Yunjin says before walking away, and the door shuts with a click
Kazuha, then Eunchae. You can do this, even if the name bites into your heart.
â
[1] [2] To avoid tomatoes being hurled at the story and the writer, HOT is not necessarily a terrible, unlistenable song. You (which, in this case, is the writer's self-indulgent projection-slash-self-insert) just think that it lacks the edge and personality compared to tracks like ANTIFRAGILE or CRAZY.
[2] The writer is a hack. This style of writing is copied from @barnacles34. [3]
[3] Don't expect more citation-like notes to appear anywhere else in the fic. This is a onetime thing.
â
"See ya," Kazuha bids you farewell.
"Bye!"
For the fourth time in two-ish hours, the door clicks shut as Kazuha leaves the studio, and you just sigh â loud. Your body stiffens for what is about to come next. You can't settle yourself into a calming trance after what happened between you and Eunchae a week ago â a finger, name-calling, discovery. The tempo is all over the place, and you're not sure if you can arrange it into a proper song.
The door opens eventually, and you hastily rotate your chair back towards the mixing console â out of fear, out of discontent, you don't really know.
You see Eunchae coming into the studio in the faint reflection on the glass between you and the recording area. She doesn't say a word â not a greeting, not a checking in â and you are pretty unfazed by it.
Okay, no, at least be honest to yourself. You wish she'd say something first, sparing you from the discomfort between two people who were dry-humping each other last week.
She just walks past you into the recording area and puts on the headphones that her members have worn before her, and there it is: the first eye contact.
You're not sure if you've waited for an entire week plus a few days just to see a pair of eyes that's so fucking devoid of emotion like this. It's not quite a case of staring into your soul, more of a blank vastness of Hong Eunchae being expressed through her pupils. There's no affection, just pure detachment, and it breaks you to see her like this, really.
"I'm ready," Eunchae says.
(With the choice of dialogue tag, it's pretty fitting. The utter lack of emotion is just so apparent that the word say leaves the rest of the competition in its dust.)
Everybody else's voices are already there when the first song begins, a spoken words prelude â routine. Eunchae's demeanor remains professional â no tics, no slips. Her hands hold the sides of her headphones, looking down, nodding along to the beat untilâ
Her tone is as sweet as ever. You've heard it countless of times in this recording studio â behind the glass, on the couch, with her finger inside your mouth.
Bitch.
Still, never once has it hit as hard as right now. Her voice is making your heart burn with agony inside your chest, between your lungs, behind your ribs. You try to keep your calm façade during the entire runtime of the song. It's a success, mostly. You remain professional and competent despite minor, invisible-to-Eunchae's-eyes lapses. There are these little quivers on the tips of your fingers while you work on the console, just the opposite side of her.
Then comes your song. It's the fourth track on the EP, preceded by an alt-pop that you find somewhat attractive, admirable in its intrinsic ambition relative to the industry's, followed by a mandatory ballad just to settle the listeners into peacefulness at the end â usual Hybe structure. The meaning is basic: one-sided love, to love someone who just can't say it back. Oh, what a cruel parallel! The unruly nature of your track is going to be what stands out for this project. You're going to get praise from all over the industry for breaking the mold.
Still, your mind lingers over Hong Eunchae, and in all honesty, you'd trade those soon-to-come acclaims just for a measly chance for her to see you as solace.
Emotions remain imperceptible on both sides of the glass. You watch her. She sings. Your fingers glide over the panel competently. She delivers her part of the lyrics from the depths of her lungs. The song bounces off the walls of the studio with zero regard for the scene. It's a normality that you almost cannot stand. It'sâ
"I can't do this."
You look up from the panel. What did she just say? Did you hear that right: she can't do this?
"What?" you ask. "Youâ"
"I can't do this," Eunchae repeats against the undercurrent of the wall of sounds, looking at you. "I can't fucking sing this song."
You shoot her a confused look. What's happening to her? "Are you alright, Eunchae?" you speak into the microphone on your side, giving the song a pause. Silence ensues.
Eunchae sighs. Then, in a shaky intonation: "Can we, can you come in here a bit? I think there's something with theâ"
You get up from your seat immediately, entering the recording area in a haste. Eunchae avoids eye contact with you, though you can see the tears building in her eyes.
"I think there's," a pause, "there's something with the mic."
Okay, the cadence is all over the place here â physically, emotionally â and you don't know how to act on it. You're aware that she's trying to be pragmatic â restrained, logical â but the courage to execute something isn't there for you.
"Okay, I'll change the mic. Wait here," you reply.
As you're about to exit the perimeter, though, you feel a pair of hands touching your fingers.
"Wait," Eunchae calls, and of course, you turn to her. You're that credulous.
Her hands hold yours a bit firmer, effectively holding you on the spot. She's still gazing down at the floor. Sure, you can just brush her away easily. The force on you isn't that much, but a part of you tells you that a new microphone won't be needed for now.
"I," and a pause, one that lets her look up at you â mouth slightly agape. Her eyes don't look so apathetic anymore, replaced by tears threatening to run down her cheeks, replaced by something you can't quite read: yearning, trust, desperation. You can't recognize, not with your level of emotional quotient.
You just know that you have to be there for her â the entirety of you.
A sound comes out, eventually. "I have ten more minutes, right?"
Well, that's not quite the question you expected, but you push on through, nonetheless.
"Fifteen, according to your schedule, but," you look at your watch, "I clock out in about an hour."
Eunchae examines you for a heartbeat, as if devising a plan. You swear you can hear the gears in her brain turning restlessly.
Then, a small smile appears on her lips.
"Whatever we do, just," she wipes her eyes with the fabric of her sweater â white. You just came to notice it â a contrast against the black leggings. "Don't kiss me on my lips."
You tilt your head to the side a bit. "No lips?"
Instead of a reply, Eunchae reels you in immediately with her sheer force. That's rude, not even giving you time to ponder. Your body is pulled towards her, and in the blink of an eye, you're in her arms.
You breathe heavily against the whirring sound of the heater just outside, and so does Eunchae, though a little more controlled, less anxious. Your heart aches (metaphorically) against your ribcage, uncertain of her next step. Her breath smells of spearmint. You can still see the remnants of the tears in her eyes, albeit the pupils lack the desperation from earlier. The air in the room shifts. You can smell her shampoo and perfume being this close to her. Her breathing mingles against your face â so intimate, almost right.
The emotions just aren't there, despite her smile, despite your heartbeats. It's just empty â wrong cadence, scattered tempo, inflected tone.
"What the fuck am I doing?" you mouth. Eunchae doesn't notice it.
You just give in the moment her lips touch your skin, nonetheless.
You moan reflexively into the stillness of the recording area as Eunchae kisses the side of your neck. Your hands struggle against her back pathetically â raking, clawing against her sweater. Then, she pushes you against the black, soundproof foam â the same color as her leggings. Her height towers over you a bit. She nibbles and takes a mouthful of your skin greedily, and you can't help but whine again.
Everything is wrong. Everything is fucking wrong. Your ego and arrogance and self-respect are being undone by the person who's ambivalent about romance. The person you can almost call home is dismantling your mental state completely, and she's doing it with ease, and you just let her. You should protest. You should say no, but God, her lips are so soft against your skin, and her hands are undoing your belt now. Your pants come off with ease, revealing a raging bulge under your boxers.
"Flip me around and fuck me," Eunchae whines, pushing her leggings down onto the floor â brown panties, wet spot at her entrance. "I need it," and there goes her underwear as well, leaving her bottom half naked under the blazing heat of your studio. Her pussy is already drenched with juice, ready for your cock inside her.
Making it an equal ground, you force your boxers down your legs, and your cock springs free â so eager to fill her to the brim. You look into her eyes. What you find isn't love or affection, just burning lust.
And by God, it's just so desolate.
Music without emotion is, to say the least, soulless. You've listened to countless songs that were merely made to be a chart-topper and not a heart-wrencher, and you fucking swear that you'll never create anything like that. You've accomplished that so far in your career, musically, despite all the constraints of the industry. Now, physically, you're about to fail â lust for life, loveless, callous â just for a woman named Hong Eunchae.
You comply with her command, despite the protests of your rational side, despite all the confusion warring inside your heart. You flip her body around, and Eunchae is pinned against the soundproof wall, cheek touching the black foam. Her mouth opens for a whine to leak out of her lungs. Her eyes flutter shut â lustful, eager, but oh, awfully blank.
"Inside me," Eunchae orders, voice hoarse, "now."
Surgically, you push your cock inside her â zero teasing, zero foreplay â and Eunchae moans wantonly against the whirring sound of the heater sitting outside. Your body squirms from the tight comfort of her cunt. A moan leaves your lips, and you feel a flash of need to kiss hers run through you â to make her yours, to make you hers â but you don't act on it.
The movements are dreadfully mechanical â thrust in and thrust out. You grab her hips firmly, sometimes slipping under her sweater to feel her bra-clad nipples, making Eunchae squirm frantically. Your mind still imagines them as brown.
You've had your fair share of sex in the past, and those were intimate, full of affection. Right now, though, the score is terribly arranged â no kissing, emotionless. Your breaths are ragged from the action, sure. Your moans are filling the room, certainly. Your cheeks are red, surely. The line that Eunchae has drawn, however, it's killing you, and you just surrender to it so easily. What a tragedy.
Your orgasm feels less like bliss and more analogous to a checklist begging to be crossed out. It feels good with how Eunchae's cunt is fluttering around your cock. You like the smell of her perfume filling your nostrils â citrusy. All in all, though, it feels like a fucking dead end with her. There's no future. There's no love. There's nothing except for sex and a side of the thrill of fucking a member from one of the world's biggest girl groups.
The forthcoming physical doom of you comes close. It doesn't feel as good, but you accept the desolation in this studio with Eunchae â for the most part, at least. Her moans rise through the scale higher and higher with each thrust. You're having sex with her.
Just that.
"I'm, I'm gonna cum. Gonna cum on this cock," Eunchae rasps, cheeks flushing awfully red. "Don't you fucking pull out."
It's a riveting decadence when you burst inside Eunchae's pussy. Your spine stiffens as your fingers squeeze her pert tits, drawing an unrestrained whine out of her mouth. Your cock spills cum deep into her womb. At the same time, Eunchae gushes torrents of fluid onto the studio floor, wetting the foam, wetting the carpet. Her body shakes against yours uncontrollably as she sobs into the wall. Her pussy flutters around your cock, squeezing every single drop of semen from your balls. She lets you pin her against the soundproof material. She moans with your cock fucking her. She lets you cum inside of her.
And the best part of all this?
It's just casual.
The decline is atrociously violent without the buffer of your unreciprocated affection. The mental clarity hits you like a car crash, and you don't stay inside her for long. You pull out of her heaving, cum-drenched pussy almost out of contempt. Even if the sight is purely lewd, you scramble for your clothes as Eunchae detaches herself from the wall and finds her leggings on the floor instantly.
The two of you put on your clothes quietly. Not a single word is exchanged in the aftermath of you dispensing your seed into Hong Eunchae's womb. The corporeal remnants are there â trembles, breaths, scent of sex â but the mental residue is invisible between yourselves. It's a grey-colored core memory.
You arrange the last bit of your belt on your waist finally as Eunchae peers down at you, breathing slightly out of tempo. The height difference isn't stark â an inch. But perhaps with the utter self-loathing brewing inside your heart, you feel like you're an inch tall.
To avoid confronting the fact any longer, you take a brief glance at your watch â five minutes left for her session, therefore ten minutes of heartless debauchery â before stating, "We're late."
Eunchae chuckles, as if unfazed by the whole ordeal. "Okay," and she cups your face again, like that day at the dorm.
You dodge her hand, though. You know her heart just isn't there, and you fucking hate yourself for letting her use yours like that.
"We should," then a sigh. You're not in the mood for explaining yourself, you can't. The emotion inside your heart is flaring. "We should continue recording and get it done."
Eunchae steps back slightly, but still in your personal space â close enough that you can hear her breath. "Sure." Her minty breath hits your nose. You don't notice her expression anymore, too lost in your conflicting feelings.
And you walk away from her towards your roller chair, closing the door to the recording area. Eunchae gets herself ready again for another session of singing â this time with your cum inside her, this time with her bodily needs satisfied, this time with you being utterly aware that this cannot persist.
"Okay, I'll restart the song."
Your song â the one that's about unreciprocated love.
0/100 (Remark: a lone number without the full score looks aesthetically better, but the numbers' font size will be too large for the writer's liking on Tumblr.)
"Bad bitch in between your teeth" Wth? How we went from Antifragile to this shit? Hybe should stop give them mediocre songs for TikTok, Le Sserafim deserves better kind of music
rbbaddie
25/100
no one eating from that stinky plate [Face with Tears of Joy]
rickyrickymom
42/100
if i see a single one of you hoes saying 'yOu gUyS jUsT hAtE fUn' i'm going to throw myself out the nearest window. spaghetti is a boring, derivative slop song, and pearlies isn't interesting enough to compensate for it. none of this is fun.
SPAGHETTI // 20
Pearlies // 65
You just fucked up â big time.
You genuinely thought it's fun â sexy bass line, addictive lyrics, j-fucking-hope. Though perhaps fun doesn't translate into positive audience reception and a lasting legacy. Alright, sure, the stream numbers are promising for now. The thing is going viral on TikTok and Instagram. People are shaking their heads to it.
Hybe is on your fucking ass.
Well, they're not actively on a manhunt for you, just on the verge of being banished into the shadow realm until morale improves. Perchance it's a few years, which, again, is a long time in this branch of industry. A group can debut and disband during the period. Idols grow up. And by the time you're back, you realize that you're not getting the call of duty anymore, at least from companies of your former stature.
You better hit the green with the next shot, whatever fuckass it's going to be.
(4 fucks in almost 150 words, way to go.)
Eat it up, eat it, eat it up
â
You have your accolades â credentials, feats â despite the youthful age of twenty-one years old. Your production is one of the best in this ruthless industry for Hybe: ENHYPEN's Go Big or Go Home, to NewJeans' ETA, to LE SSERAFIM's Ash. Call you a nepo baby with your mom's connections, you don't give many fucks about it, not that you search for her name everyday on Twitter. The scores and the praise are up there. That's the protein shake that has been letting you feed your ego upon â awful analogy, isn't it?
There are a few templates that you can borrow from: ANTIFRAGILE, Blue Flame, Eve, Psyche & The Bluebeard's Wife. To make it easy, you can just make another reggaetĂłn, you can just make another nu-disco, you can just make another Baltimore club. Still, you're too far up your own ass to use the resolute formulas that are tried and true from other producers. You need new genres. You need something shiny. You need some undiscovered cadence and melody.
You want to be number one.
(You need a hit as well, but that's kind of the second priority. That kind of undermines the urgency of the earlier paragraphs, sure, but again, you're too arrogant to produce another generic, widely accessible dance-pop.)
(Another parenthesis just to say that HOT is in your On Repeat, despite all the disdain you have towards it, despite all the erroneousness that it represents about the music industry, despite the contradictions it's turning your life into.)
So, to set the scene, here you are, holing up in your room for the last three days, searching for the melody and rhythm to resurrect your career with, to be your royal flush. The deadline is far away, but you're a firm believer in not beating it by a small margin. You tinker and configure the tunes on your Ableton almost frantically. What the fuck is the current trend again?
You experiment a lot, certainly, possibly, even with how scattered your shots are, no matter how the audience reception might prevail as â house, R&B, even jazz is registered on your interface. You squeeze every drop of your originality onto the slate. Every chord is there. Every rhythm is there. Every word is there.
Still, nothing feels right.
You need air.
A session of showering like your dad taught you, and you're ready for a walk in this late-winter-and-early-spring weather. You go ride the elevator down from your floor's hallway. You walk out the door of your apartment building. You meet the chilly wind on the roadside. It reminds you of the spoken word preludes in LE SSERAFIM's EPs and albums for some reason.
Burn the bridge
Burn it all
Maybe it's the chatter of the people passing through.
Each step on the footpath turns the gears inside your head by a few degrees. They've been working together for the music that's pleasant to the ears for years, at least ante-Spaghetti â note after note, scale after scale, arpeggio after arpeggio. Your mind wanders through the possibilities of your career in regard to the next project's success: accomplished, passable, failure. The path in front of you is right there if you could just stop being such a snob about innovation and pioneering K-pop andâ
"Producer?" a voice cuts through the air. You stop, frozen for a heartbeat. Not that you're not used to being recognized in public, you're just wary of the unforeseen consequences of talking to someone outside your company â corporate secrets and all. You adore talking about whatever you're doing right now (telling and not showing, a common pitfall, a fix is desired). You're so fucking proud of yourself (emotional dictation, again, a common pitfall).
You turn to the speaker, nonetheless, hands in your pockets that's surely not out of cold.
"Afternoon?"
It's Eunchae â the Hong Eunchae you failed a few months back, at least the version of her in the figment of your imagination; you've never asked her explicitly â out with the band, all five of them, plus two bodyguards.
"Oh, hey, afternoon, girls," you greet with the lilt of a weak duck.
The other members wave at you politely, while the guards just nod.
"You out for a meal?" Eunchae probes.
"No," and you pause. Your stomach growls the moment Eunchae mentions food. You haven't eaten since breakfast, and it's two post meridiem now. The answer changes into indefiniteness, "Maybe?"
Eunchae's lips curve up slightly into a small grin, looking cheerful as ever. "Wanna come with us?"
"Didn't we just eat?" Chaewon prompts, unconvinced.
"We can just stand in front of the restaurant while he eats!" Eunchae proposes. "And I completely forgot about the notion of street food."
The bodyguards and the other members are chuckling, while Chaewon just shrugs. "Should be a few at the square on our way back."
"I mean, I don't wanna be your deadweight. I can eat by myself, I promise," you decline out of considerateness.
â
Alright, maybe eating this kebab alone might be detrimental to your morale. Shit's fucking delicious with seven other people with you to talk about nonsense, five if you don't count the big, muscular bodyguards (why even bother describing them like this).
"Fuck mint chocolate, that's my stance," you state, mouth full of beef and tortilla-like wrap and all sorts of vegetables.
"So uncultured," Yunjin says, almost dismissing of your statement. "Bet you hate cherry Coke as well."
"I have a raging disdain for food experiments," you reply with a chuckle. "I like my plate, in music terms, cohesive."
Eunchae makes an audible sound of thinking before chiming in, "Wait, no, was gonna bring up Spaghetti, but your discography has been great aside from that."
"How rude," you humor â a twinge in your heart still. It's going to be a taint on your career from now on.
"And again, your words, cohesive," Eunchae continues. "Spaghetti, even if uninspired and TikTok-catering, remains united throughout the duration of almost three minutes."
"Here comes Hong Eunchae, the music critic," Sakura teases. "You should tell him your idea for the next comeback: shoe something, right?"
"Shoegaze!" Eunchae corrects. "It won't work here, though."
"Maybe he has some ideas, right, Mister Producer?" Yunjin encourages.
Oh, shit, yes, shoegaze, you haven't tried that one yet! The genre highly likely won't pass as the title track, but as a B-side, we're talking Blue Flame-level of music excellence! Your thoughts move towards the relatively experimental NMIXX's Fe3O4: FORWARD from last year â alt-pop, trap [EDM], contemporary R&B. Maybe it'll work, at least for one of the five songs.
"I'm listening," you say, locking eyes with Eunchae's, which are now gleaming with excitement about the genre that the anchors are My Bloody Valentine and Cocteau Twins (a bit of a run-on sentence, and quite a show-off from the writer).
She takes a deep breath and: "Do you know Hatchie?"
You're not really familiar with her. You like Sure, though. "A bit, I think."
"I'll send you her essential tracks," Eunchae says happily, whipping out her phone from her pocket, then:
(Also, she should've gone with this username for her public account, not hhh.e_c.v.)
â
The walk back to their dorm is you and the girls talking about more nonsense: the importance of mathematics, skincare routines, more mint chocolate bashings (from you, same reason: lack of harmony). The gears in your brain are turning greedily against one another, driving you into full operation with the brimming creativity coming from your conversations.
You're going to be on a goddamn roll when you're back at your apartment.
The eight of you reach LE SSERAFIM's dorm, eventually. You've been here a few times, showing them samples of their latest songs. It looks adequate for a group of their stature â a garden, a pool, a cozy appearance. Still, goodbyes exist, and the conversation becomes you and the girls and the guys bidding fareweâ
"You wanna come in?" Eunchae invites before you can walk away.
You're taken aback slightly by the lack of reason for access. "For what?"
"Hanging out, maybe?" she answers with a shrug. "We have some Thai tea from, well, Thailand," and Eunchae giggles, earning more laughs from the other members and the bodyguards.
â
The glass containing an orangish substance (extremely likely Thai tea, as mentioned before) makes a clink sound against the table, and Eunchae settles herself beside you on the couch â not affectionate-close, not disgusted-far, in LLMs' words, just satisfactory. There's the sound of the heater running against the late-winter-and-early-spring air. The place smells floral from the air freshener, so lovely.
Your shoes are at the door. That's all the change in your outfit, while Eunchae has changed her clothes into a more casual tee and shorts. You've seen her in this look before, not complaining, though. It's heartwarming to have someone trust you this much, especially as a lone-wolf, youthful producer.
"You have your earbuds to yourself?" Eunchae asks, not saying AirPods because she doesn't use an iPhone.
You touch the outside of your pockets to find two objects on the left side: wallet and your AirPods case. "Yeah, Hatchie, right?"
"Yep."
You click the link Eunchae sent you earlier on Instagram, and you start with the first song: Carousel.
Play, and you sink into the sofa.
Eunchae is on whatever's on her phone as the song progresses. There's the hazy guitar. There are the dreamy vocals from Hatchie. There's the chilly rhythm from the drum kit. And if we're being honest, you think you can take something from it: undoubtedly the guitar. The vocals might be amiss in places if applied to the girls, but you might trailblaze the genre in South Korea! B-side it, and you get one of the best K-pop tracks ever. Your career is rejuvenated!
Carousel is followed by Sure, and Sure is followed by Back Into Your Arms with RINSE. The style is consistent throughout the tracks, but you don't feel jaded by these songs at all. God, why didn't you think of dream pop and shoegaze faster?
You keep listening to the playlist, gathering more information regarding the genre. Eunchae is still on her phone beside you, letting you bask in the emotion from Hatchie's music, and it helps, really. Your body relaxes into the sofa with each second that passes until you're at the deepest point you can get inside it.
"This is great," you say as you pull your right AirPods out by the end of the seventh track: Atonement with Winter (not that Winter). You're not wholly, utterly floored by Harriette Pilbeam, but this is good enough. "Anyone else I should listen to?"
Eunchae turns to you with a hum, then: "You are done already?" She looks confused as to why you've completed the two-hour-and-almost-a-half playlist so quickly.
"I think I have the idea of it," you reply, sliding Spotify away from your screen. You should probably leave now. Fuck, you haven't even touched the Thai tea. Okay, maybe you should try it. Why the hell is that orange so bright, though?
A sip â that's sweeter than you expected. You're strict with your diet, and it's apparent in your rather thin, lanky body. Sweeteners are restricted substances in your food.
"Alright, wow, this is sweet," you utter, not without another sip, though. Eunchae giggles. You think you like the smell of it â robust, unique.
"Was a little heavy-handed with the sugar, my bad," Eunchae apologizes with a cute smile, and you just have to backtrack your words about the drink a bit. She just looks too cute for the criticism.
"Not necessarily a bad thing, though," you say, and a sip turns into a gulp â addicted. In a sudden, you just downed an entire glass of Thai iced tea in front of Eunchae's eyes.
"Thanks!" she cheers, clapping softly.
You chuckle, setting the glass down on the table with a clink. "Okay, I'll leave now. Shit," and a moment of hesitation. "Again, anyone else I should listen to?"
"You're leaving already?" Eunchae speaks, almost not believing your words.
"I mean, I don't wanna disturb you guys too much, and I have to work, and I have toâ"
"Come on, you're not disturbing us, and we can listen to," and Eunchae opens her Spotify. "Hold on, I need to find a shoegaze artist."
And against every rational, antisocial voice in your head, you wait. Maybe it's her unconditional fondness for the genre. Maybe it's her doe eyes. Maybe it's her thighs that you're staring at.
"The Radio Dept.!" Eunchae sings as she turns to you, and you're startled out of your short-lived, somewhat lusty trance. "Join my Jam!"
Okay, The Radio Dept. piques your interest, and Eunchae is practically begging you to stay with her all-cute face: again, doe eyes, pouty lips, sweet accents. How could you say no to that?
(There might be more Thai tea as well.)
You sigh, and you sit your lanky ass down on the sofa. Just for you, Hong Eunchae.
"Alright, I really love this compilation, so we can try this one first."
I Don't Need Love, I've Got My Band â the name stares back at you as Eunchae presses play, and you're greeted with the drums of Pulling Our Weight.
â
Time passes. It's probably half an hour by now since the start of the album, no, the compilation. You're at the pretty emotional and richly produced Let Me Have This, the last track. Eunchae hasn't made you another serving of Thai tea, and the ice cubes begin to melt in the glass. Your gulps don't really quench the thirst. The whole project is splendid, nevertheless. It's a perfect blend of electronic and shoegaze. You can definitely learn a thing or two from this going into your next session of dabbling with Ableton.
You look at Eunchae from time to time, seeing how she immerses herself into the music, sinking deep into the couch. Her fingers tap along to the beat on the fabric. Occasionally, she notices your eyes and smiles back at you.
The song ends eventually, and Eunchae immediately pauses the track before it gets the chance to move on to the next one. She sits up on the couch, leaving a faint print of her body on the cushion.
"Okay!" she utters, sliding Spotify away from her phone screen. She turns to you, making these presentation hands. "You're now well-equipped with the knowledge of shoegaze and dream pop for our next comeback!" she says grandiosely, eliciting a laugh from your lips.
"Thanks, Madam Hong," you say with a bow in your seat, and you rise to your feet finally. You've been dallying here for too long. You should leave!
Eunchae stands up along with you, though. The height difference is visible â you being shorter than her by an inch. You can smell her perfume from here â citrus-like â and you notice the small cracks in the lips. They look good on her. She looks down into your eyes. The gaze pins you in your place. Eunchae tilts her head a bit. You gulp. Is she going to say something?
With your predictive ability: "Yes, Eunchae?"
"Before you go," Eunchae utters, and she cups your face gently. Your eyes widen in shock. Her eyes soften into something quieter, instantly filling the air with tension.
Alright, wait, is she just going to kiss you? Did The Radio Dept. session leave her with an unresolved emotion? The cadence feels so wrong here. Is she really going to kiss a producer who once went against his principles for a TikTok-friendly track? (The stream numbers are juicy, still.) A shoegaze girl and an arrogant, borderline-antisocial multi-genre boy â that's fucking impossible.
Eunchae's eyes give you that assurance that she's going to kiss you, however.
Until she opens her mouth, and her breath smells like mint.
"I didn't do this just for you to do another shitass Spaghetti again, understand?" Eunchae says, and you jump. It's almost a growl, really.
You stammer, "Yeah, sure."
"Make a good song. I know you have it in you," she continues, and she just gives a kiss on your cheek â simple, just like that. Warmth blooms under your skin, akin to an orchid. The smell of her shampoo wafts into your nose momentarily as she pulls back, and you just stand there â stupid, awestruck.
She stares into your eyes, then: "I want you â so fucking bad," she says it so ardently, and you believe it.
You try to act all-charming and cocky amidst the conditional yearning. "Why not now? I'm right here," you chirp, albeit horribly trembling.
"I don't wanna fuck someone who just produced TikTok music," Eunchae replies with a chuckle. "You may leave now."
That's cruel, and to quote Hatchie to hammer the point home, to put salt in the wound:
Why did you do it?
You couldn't just laugh and walk away?
â
So, you're sitting in front of your Ableton again in silence.
Distorted guitar, dreamy vocals, distant drums â that's the task for your next outing, a B-sider. Shit's going to be revolutionary. You're going to be called a leader in the industry for digging up the formula from the nineties, just to get laid with Hong Eunchae.
You're puzzled as to why it takes this long for the genre, though. That shit's genuinely a crack.
â
A few weeks pass, and the comeback season rolls over again â mid-spring. One more time, your post-Spaghetti career is, to put it simply, on the line with this EP. Unfavorable (or polarizing) audience reception and you shall be exiled to the center of the Earth. So, no more Dubai chocolate matcha Labubu music.
Holing up inside your own apartment doesn't relieve the fact that Eunchae gave you an ultimatum â music-wise. You keep thinking about it, reminding yourself of her demand. And if we're being frank, it kind of drives you forward! You're so damn determined to create a piece of art that snobs are going to eat it up (bad reference), and to leave a lasting legacy for the next generations to come.
Of course, you talk to Eunchae from time to time since the kiss, and with another indication of honesty in rapid succession, you look forward to her appearing in your direct messages every single night.
notyoureunchae, 21:39: how you be
turnstyle, 21:40: still on it
turnstyle, 21:40: not another spaghetti trust
notyoureunchae, 21:41: nice
notyoureunchae, 21:41: ok tell me when it's done
notyoureunchae, 21:42: [Kissing Face with Closed Eyes]
Too shoegaze-ridden to reply, you just double tap the emoji, still a plain red heart. Can't help wondering about the prospects of your relationship, still. A part of you hopes that it blossoms against the current of this brutal industry.
Finally, the demo is there in your archive. No one has listened to it but you. A lot of effort was put into the production â guitars, drums, basses. You did a lot. It's a new realm that you've never explored before, and you've learned a fuckton from making this track, really.
turnstyle, 16:33: done
notyoureunchae, 16:34: splendid
turnstyle, 16:34: [Double Exclamation Mark]
notyoureunchae, 16:34: coming in tonight
turnstyle, 16:35: alright
Eunchae double taps the alright, two hearts.
Okay, to ground yourself physically for the nocturne: Hybe recording studio, with the women, the night is still young. The air smells like leather, and, to sound like LLMs, something that screams classiness. Chaewon, Sakura, and Kazuha aren't really used to the immensely immersive wall of sound. They make these confused faces over the song's duration. Still, you believe they'll get it, eventually. These three will understand why electronic-infused shoegaze is called for in their discography. You sound so fucking conceited, but it's necessary to be when you're on the brink of calamity. Yunjin looks a tad more receptive, nodding along to the slow beat. Eunchae, though, smiles, and you can't help but let yours escape your lips every time she utters yeah out of satisfaction.
"This is fucking rad," Eunchae says, removing the headphones from her ears as the song ends. "You get an Eunchae thumbs up," and Eunchae, well, gives you a thumbs up.
"You made it for Eunchae, didn't you?" Kazuha nudges, slapping your knee lightly. "Did you guys agree on a deal or something?"
Eunchae giggles. "Just told him not to make shit music, that's all." You find your sorrow in her words â mean.
Kazuha gives Eunchae these judging eyes, but perhaps finds no benefit in escalating into a fight over artistic opinions. "Fair enough," she says with a shrug.
Chaewon lets out an exasperated sigh before asking, "Okay, recording next week?"
"Yep, I'll inform you guys about the exact date by Sunday."
Chaewon gives you a nod, even if visibly tired. "Alright, that's a wrap for today. Let's meet at nine downstairs."
That's in thirty minutes, as if it concerns you in any way. The girls walk out of the studio one by one, with Yunjin trailing behind to take interest in some of the instruments. Eunchae, though, just settles herself on the couch in the corner lazily, and just like that day: it's you and her together, alone, again.
"You can just pick up the guitar. No need to tiptoe around," you state as Eunchae observes the room curiously.
"I'm just gonna wait until it's eight fifty-five, and I'll dip," Eunchae says while whipping out her phone from the pocket. "Can you play the demo again, though?"
You press play again, this time pulling the headphone jacks out of the holes. The room is instantly filled with the dreamy melody, a delicate brew of your guitar, voice, and drums. Eunchae is visibly delighted with the current product, nodding her head along to the sluggish beat of the demo. Her fingers are tapping the couch to the song's tempo.
"Could be an all-timer," she says against the noise coming from your speakers. "I knew you had it in you."
Your body relaxes into your chair at Eunchae's praise. You're ecstatic to hear the positive reception from her!
"Come sit here," Eunchae tells, patting the space beside her. You notice a shiny silver ring on her left middle finger. The leather on the couch is all creased from prolonged use through the years. That doesn't stop you from getting off your ergonomic roller chair and taking a seat by her side, however, and the cushion becomes compressed under your weight.
You lean back into the sofa, closing your eyes and letting the music envelop your body, letting its cadence soothe you. Eunchae does so as well. You can feel the shuffling on the leather beside you gently as she lies against the backrest.
"Guess your job is safe now?" Eunchae asks.
You smile, still with your eyes closed. "At least until the next comeback, yeah," you breeze, relieved. Again, if the music's poor on the next comeback, you'll get just one more chance to redeem yourself â rinse and repeat. Eunchae is at stake here, and you'll squeeze every drop of creativity out of your idea toothpaste, which is an utter fuckwit of an analogy again.
"That means I get to have you until this time next year, maybe?"
"Definitely," you reply succinctly, and everything tells you that Eunchae is smiling beside you. There's supposed to be nothing going wrong after this. Still, your brain chooses to focus on a certain part of the message.
Have you.
How does she see you, though? Since the dorm, since The Radio Dept., since the kiss â you can't quite ascertain your relationship with her.
I want you â so fucking bad.
"Eunchae," you utter, turning to her, and you point back and forth between you as her head lies idly on the backrest. "What are we?"
Eunchae sits up. Her eyes look into yours a little weakly, and you think you feel the cloud of uncertainty looming over her. The silence overstays its welcome at the relationship clarity resort. She's not ready for this question. You were too forte â too brave. It's invasive!
Eunchae opens her mouth. "I," and a pause â too long, perchance. Yeah, you were too brazen in your question. The melody is off. Still, a smirk that you can't register yet appears wide on Eunchae's face.
"My bad, I shouldn'tâ" and your train of speech is interrupted by Eunchae climbing on top of you sitting on the couch. Her legs are straddling your thighs firmly, and a surge of heat is crashing into you. Your brows clench. Your hands tremble. Alright, wait, what the fuck?
"I hate labels," Eunchae utters with a sly wink, and in that instant, you kind of concern about the predicament of emotional ambiguity you've gotten yourself into with Eunchae.
You have to give in to your lust, though.
So, between the loud walls of music in your (actually, Hybe's) studio. You're being restrained by the girl who's a little taller than you â an inch â the girl who made the puking noise in your last record, the girl who has been putting your heart into a whirlwind for the last few weeks. Your emotions are neither exactly reciprocated nor resolved. It is incumbent on getting at least one of them as soon as possible. The vagueness from this woman is killing you!
Eunchae doesn't physically stop just that, however.
She starts grinding promptly on top of your lap while staring dead into your eyes â somehow romantic with that deathly gaze â creating this punishing friction that courses through your entire body. You feel her heat throbbing against your lap. Your cock pulsates inside your pants wildly, begging to be freed from the fabric confines. Your eyes roll into the back of your head â kind of overstated but almost true still. Your hands start exploring her body as hers turn your physique into a playground. She mostly lingers on your chest, but with the dilation in her pupils when she looks at your mouth, the tease on your lips becomes apparent.
"Fuck, shit," you utter feebly, barely able to draft your voice into coherent words, and there it is, Eunchae plunges her left middle finger into your mouth. As cued, you start lavishing on the digit greedily. There's this taste of her skin â floral from the handwash. There's this metallic tang to the ring, and you're unsure if the element is going to poison you atop Eunchae's mental barrage. There's her nail grazing your tongue softly. There's her cute little moan leaving her lips into your ears.
And with all the sensations on your body, you feel like aâ
"Bitch," Eunchae scolds, and you whine pathetically into her finger. You're a bitch â Hong Eunchae's bitch. "Do you like being called that?" she inquires knowingly. Of course, you'll sayâ
"Yes, yes, yes, fuck," you rasp against the undercurrent of music and Eunchae's left middle finger (too specific), mind cannot focus on a single thing anymore. "I'm a bitch." You're wholly overloaded at this instant by the entire ordeal, and your entire brain is reinforcing the notion of you being her bitch.
Not until now, you just notice the fabric that is her jeans rubbing against your sweatpants â good friction. Your hands slip under her olive black shirt â no bra. Her nipples harden against your fingers eagerly, yearning to be touched, ruined, and stirred. You imagine they're brown. Eunchae moans into the air that's thick with burning tension mindlessly with the euphoria on her frame, not before she probes you with another question, still.
"Whose bitch, huh?"
The voices that leave your mouth are now unintelligible. Just: "I'm your bitch, Eunchae," comes out firmly. "I'm yours."
Eunchae scoffs before pulling her finger away from the inside of your mouth. You notice a clear string of your spit connecting your lips and her digit, and you chase, only for her to pull away even further with that fucking devilish smile. She wiggles her finger in a no-no motion.
"Make me cum before eight fifty-five, and I might give you something," Eunchae commands; that's ten minutes left. Okay, wow, time passes pretty fast. Maybe she'll give you the emotional resolution you've been pursuing this whole time. So, you begin thrusting up onto her covered crotch. Eunchae's moans grow louder and less restrained this way. Her eyes flutter shut. Her fingers tremble on your skin, and you're more than elated to please her like this.
God, everything just feels so fucking right.
Eunchae's moans are still climbing the scale, each one indicating the proximity to her climax that she gets closer and closer on top of your lap. For you, you've never thought dry-humping would make you cum; you've never thought dry-humping would be this incredulously hot, and in the present, now, you're about to wet your pants with your cum!
"Goddamn, I'm close," Eunchae hums, eyes locking with yours, and in that instant, you feel some kind of raw, genuine connection with her, even if it's so short-lived. Perhaps it's the side of her that she has been hiding for the past few weeks. The kiss doesn't follow it, but there's surely something behind her eyes â vulnerability?
Your body feels the surge of orgasm running through, and as jokey as it is, fuck your trousers, really. You're gonna drive home with cumstains on them like a real man, and Eunchae's gonna ride the van back to her dorm with squirtstains on her jeans like a real woman. Fuck it if the other members see it. The climaxes of your bodies edge closer with each second that passes, time to cum!
Eunchae whines, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuâ"
"Hello, I'm just here toâoh my fucking God!"
You open your eyes to see Eunchae scrambling over herself and Yunjin standing at the door that is ajar.
Shit.
Fuck.
Shit.
Fuck.
Her mouth is opening in sheer shock â not disgusted, just utterly, completely shocked. You freeze, of course you can't move. Your cock aches badly in your pants to no avail, and you're pretty certain that Eunchae's cunt is throbbing with need as well. Fucking Yunjin's here to ruin your day (as if you'll get any psychological clarity once you cum with Eunchae). Your hands detach themselves from Eunchae's pert chest. Your bulge is painfully visible. Your mind is shattered.
Shit.
Fuck.
Yunjin closes her mouth, gulps, and walks out of the door frame as if trying to bury the event she just saw two meters below, leaving you and Eunchae in the awkward silence that's measly decorated with your decelerating heartbeats and ragged breaths.
"I should go," Eunchae quickly hides the awkwardness, though it doesn't really do much. It's fucking messy right now. She stands up with a small, visible wet spot on her crotch before she hastily exits the room.
The music is still bouncing off the walls of Hybe's studio, and you just sit there â stupid, emotionally drained, and alone. It's almost nine. The room almost reeks of sex and you and Eunchae.
God, you know real life doesn't always have resolutions, but bloody fucking hell, you'd sacrifice your soon-to-be rejuvenated career for one with Eunchae right now.
(Would've been a glorious end to the first part of a story, wouldn't it? Maybe the gods will be kind to you.)
A/N: Short fic Valentine era officially comes to a close as the last fic of 2025! Hope everyone's enjoyed the holidays and are ready to welcome 2026!
Enjoy.
âChaery, you know I love you right?â
âMhm.â
âAnd you know I spent two hours on this, right?â
âYep!â
âAnd you still wanna do this?â
âWe can always have it replaced, love. Seven day refund, remember?â
She says it like she'll be the one explaining why you're returning a defective table you bought not even twenty four hours ago because your wife had the brilliant idea of fucking you on top of it.
Let's rewind a bit.
After the trial run as you've dubbed it, it's somehow become a weekly thing for the both of you to re-enact some sort of scene from the world of pornography.
One week she was a cowgirl saving you from a gunfight (shootouts from movies played on your TV). The other you were a doctor diagnosing her with a made up virus with the only cure being your cum (you shouldnât have left your books scattered around). Just last week you two decided to try the infamous I'm stuck trope using your laundry machine.
You're not complaining; if anything youâre thankful, hell, overjoyed this is happening. Your sex life has never been better, Friday nights are now an even more anticipated day. Aside from the bi-weekly payroll your bank account is receiving, Chaeryeong is also taking your cock while being some sort of whatever the role demanded of her.
And while this was an odd way to test out your new furniture's durability, you'll do anything for your wife.
Which is how you ended up flat on your back on top of the brand new dining table you had bought, screaming aboutâ
âHelp,â you call out lazily, flailing your arms up in the air and looking around your room. Chaeryeong was nowhere in sight, telling you that she needed to change upstairs. Only telling you to begin the act with a text on your phone. And you do, continuing your enthusiastic cries for help.
Your pocket buzzes again. A quick peek greets you to another text.
Wife <3:Love.
And that was enough to tell you to start trying now or else sheâll get all mad and pouty at you for not playing along.
You sigh.
You:
Fineeeeee
A good minute of screaming along the lines of please help, Iâm drowning you hear the clack of heels coming down the staircase. A quick turn of your head towards the sound makes your jaw drop.
Thighs.
Pale, meaty, head crushing thighs. You can almost pass them off as earmuffs. Every step makes them ripple, and youâre no longer miffed at her antics. It had you in such a headlock that you nearly missed the midriff swaying in front of you, getting closer and closer until you can smell her perfume.Â
That musky vanilla thatâs never failed to get you outright feral.
âWhatâs this?â Her hands brush along your legs, up to your chest. âA survivor?â
Right, you were role playing. You look up to her face, all smiles hiding the perverted thoughts you know sheâs having right now. She couldn't not be, when sheâs all dolled up for you and her fingers are caressing your chest.
âY-Yeah,â you utter, completely captivated by Chaeryeong. It wasnât like she was wearing anything flashy. A cropped sweater and a pair of shorts riding up her waist. Added in a pair of thigh straps that you are dying to get your hands on. But thereâs something so sexy about it, about how she holds herself that makes the entire thing stick out and brick your brain.
She sits down on the edge of the table, her thigh right next to your face. And you swear to god, that made them fuller than they shouldâve been. âArenât you a cutie,â she flatters, your fingers moving up to cup your cheeks, turning you away from her meaty thighs and back up to her gaze. âYou need my help, hmm?â
âUh-huh.â Your brainâs still playing catch up, and she knows it. Giggling and poking your cheek, enjoying every second of your being utterly braindead over her. You shake your head, eyes blinking, remembering that youâre still acting. âI mean, yeah. Our ship got wrecked and I-uh, mustâve gotten knocked out or something. I just woke up in the middle of the ocean and here I am.â
You glance around your living room. Not a body of water in sight. Only the ground, the table, and Chaeryeong.
She grins, moving to straddle you. She leans in dangerously close to your face, and you take a deep breath just to control yourself. âAnd how do you suppose you want your help?â she asks, poking your nose. Sheâs laid flat on your chest, doe eyes looking at you. Rolling her hips back, unable to hide your hard on.
âMaybe some uhââ You gulp, licking your lips, attempting to regain some semblance of rational thought. âSome shelter, or food I guess?â
Once again you are reminded why this was a great idea, when Chaeryeong wiggles her ass on your crotch. You tense up, a groan sounding out of you as her hands brace on your chest, pushing herself upright.
âThat'll come with some really hard consequences,â she purrs, grinding harder, her hips hypnotizing you. Itâs all you can think of anymore, watching them roll in front of you, right there on your cock. âYou think you can handle it?â
âAnything you want, Chaery,â you grit out, hands coming up to hold that waist of hers. Wanting to feel them in your hands as they move. Her own comes down to the hem of your shorts, unfastening the strings and making them come loose.
âAnything I want, huh?â She doesnât pull them down. Instead she stands up, on top of you. On top the table. Drawing her legs in, one by one, slipping her heels off. She tosses them to the floor, giving you a smirk before she starts up a little show.Â
Swaying side to side, twirling, dipping down and popping her ass out at you. She immerses herself in it, feeling herself in the dance. You donât even know if this was still part of the act or not, and at this point you couldnât care less. Not when the view is breaking your will to think properly again.
You don't even care that the table hasn't broken down because of your weight. Or that this whole thing is bordering on a possible accident waiting to happen.Â
Chaeryeong bites her lip, popping one button off her shorts. And another, until she turns around. She looks back at you and wiggles her eyebrows, a grin forming on her face as she slowly shimmies them down. She takes her time with it, letting the blue lace underneath peek out bit by bit until it finally comes down, kicking the shorts away.
You donât hear a word she says when she turns around because your thoughts are, for a lack of a simpler way of forming them, all fall in the category of when the fuck did she buy crotchless panties. You donât even realize sheâs pulled your entire lower half of clothing down until you feel her hands stroking your cock.
âLove?â she asks, stopping everything to look at you with concern. âYou alright? You were spacing out.â
âIâm okay.â You shake your head, finding Chaeryeong on top of you once more, ready to take you in her dripping cunt. God, she wants this just as much as you do. âI justâwow.â
Chaeryeong giggles, her worry dissipating over knowing that you were simply in awe at her. âThought it'd be appropriate,â she admits, jerking you off lazily. âWith our whole roleplaying thing. Makes it easy to do thisââ
Heat engulfs your length, a sigh releasing over her mouth. Stretching her out gradually, inch by inch until youâre sheathed completely inside of her. Chaeryeong lets the moment pass, letting herself adjust to your cock. Her gaze focuses on you, expression full of perverse affection for you. âHi daddy.â
You chuckle. âHi princessââ you let out a hiss as she starts to rock her hips, a hand on your chest, another on your knee to steady herself. She was toying with you, taking enjoyment seeing you squirm underneath her because it was such a rarity for her to see it.
Sure, you lose your shit over her every day of the week, especially when she starts with the outfits and the acting and the goddamn perfume of all things. But it normally always ends up with her on her back and getting fucked until she sees stars. And it wasnât like she doesnât want it, you know she loves it like that.
So seeing her have fun in taking the reins once in a while brings a smile to your lips. She looks so enraptured over the simplest things, allowing her this. Fucking herself on your cock at her own pace, watching that waist of hers move like sheâs dancing.
Sheâs aware that youâll take over at some point. You can almost see it in her eyes. The hunger underneath the love, waiting for you to roll her over the table and use her like the good girl she is.
Besides, youâll do anything for your wife. And if letting her enjoy this means keeping her happy, then youâll happily let her ride the utter fuck out of you.Â
Doesnât mean you canât have your own fun.
Chaeryeong gasps when you thrust your hips up. âDaddy,â she whines, her rhythm broken by one single motion. âDonâtâDonât butt inââ
âWhy not?â You cut her off with another thrust, one that makes her mewl. âThink youâve had enough fun.â
âIâIâm being good,â she pants, yelping when you pull her closer, your arms wrapping around her body. Her moans are near symphony in your ears as you start to fuck her now. âDaddy pleaseââ
âPlease what?â you whisper, pressing kisses on her neck, the urge to leave a mark on that pale skin rising. Your thrusts get faster, your feet planting themselves on the furniture. âSay your words properly, princess.â
âLet me cum daddy, please. Want toâwant to cum.â Her thighs press closer, tensing you against you. âSeeing you want me so bad turned me on so much, daddy. Please, I'm so closeââ
You grant her wish, your hips pushing up into her. Deeper, faster, hitting that one spot that makes her lose her mind. And the immediate collapse of her limbs let you know just how much it affects her.
âDaddyââ She chokes up, gasping and sobbing and mind completely fucked as she freezes up and starts to shake. Her pussy gets unbelievably tight, and her hands wrap around your neck, her hair obscuring your vision in exchange for a whiff of her scent and her screams of pleasure.Â
Itâs that combination that drives you insane with her. Her juices gush out of her, spilling onto your thighs as you rut away. Unyielding in your thrusts, making her sob in the overstimulation. Your hands meet the curve of her ass, squeezing her asscheeks as you pound her right into another orgasm.
âDaâDaddy, waitââ Thereâs tears in her eyes, squeezing shut as she feels another wave of pleasure crash over her. Hitting her entire frame and shaking her, another squirt of her warmth wetting you even more. âI-I canâtââ
âI thought you wanted to cum, princess.â You hilt yourself deep, pausing in your assault. Chaeryeongâs heaving, desperately trying to regain some form of strength from surviving two orgasms back to back. âOr do you not want to anymore? Is that it? Want me to stop making you cum?â
She shakes her head, squirming in your grip. âIâI wantââ Your hips push upwards, just once. Just enough to keep her on her toes. âWant your cum daddy. Want it all over my tummy. Iâll clean it all up like a good girl after too. Please daddy, please please pleasepleasepleaseââ
You roll her over to the side, a whine escaping her as you pull out and find your footing on the ground. âCome here, princess,â you order, stroking your cock slowly.
She scrambles, moving closer to you, legs opening wide, hooking her arms underneath to keep them apart. Lining you up with a perfect view of her wet cunt, leaking her juices. You push forward, back into her warm embrace, your hands pressing against her thighs as you get back into fucking your wife.
You donât last long. Not when her walls are trying to milk you. Not when her moans and her words of fuck me, daddy. Till you cum, till you paint my tummy white. are all what you can hear. Not when her pleading face is begging you.Â
Doesnât mean you canât give her one last crash of cloud nine.
Your hips wonât stop moving, canât stop hammering into Chaeryeong. Willing yourself to hold on a bit longer, enough to make her roll her head back and scream. Her thighs tremble as she creams all over your cock, her pussy clenching tight. And that was all it took to end you.
A few lasting thrusts into her and you pull out, inching as close as you can get to her. Stroking yourself frantically before you groan and unload all over her stomach. Her pale skin gets even whiter, sticky blobs of your load covering her skin. Getting all over that smooth canvas that you call her tummy.
And she just watches. Panting heavily, barely able to focus back from the high of her climax as splashes of your cum land all over her stomach, strays of them staining her top, her sleeves, panties. Completely covering her, ruining her top as your seed dribbling as you jerk the last of your load onto her.Â
âThereâs so muchââ A finger comes to scoop up a some of your cum, bringing it to her lips to lick it off. âFuck, love. You really love my outfit that much?â
You laugh. Of course she knows how fucked you got from what she wore. âI love it because youâre the one wearing it. Might have to throw that top away though.â
She blushes, grinning bashfully. âI like this top,â she says, laying back on the table.
âIâll buy you a new one.â
âSo daddy can cum on it again?â
âI mean, if you wantââ
A playful kick answers you, and you stumble backwards with a chuckle. You were about to ask her if she needed a tissue, but she waves you off.
âIâll clean daddyâs cum like a good girl.â is what she says, stretching on the table and emphasizing her glazed belly, her fingers coming to collect all your seed and cleaning them off with licks and sucks.
You simply watch and enjoy the front row seat, until it hits you:
âOh, youâre an idiot,â Yunjin decides, stealing yet another one of your fries. âMy best friend is an idiot.â
You pull the bowl out of her reach, feeling the need to defend yourself, âYou're really calling me an idiot becauseââ
âBecause you have the completely insane opinion that jerking yourself off is better than getting a blowjob. What is wrong with you?â
âTheyâre overrated! Number of times Iâve cum from a blowjobâzero. Number of times Iâve cum from my own handâprobably thousands!â
âOkay, firstâgross, and secondâyouâre not just an idiot. You are a sad, sad man.â
âIâm just being honest!â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
Yunjin reaches over, snatches yet another fry. Waves it in front of your face, judging you, before reaching some kind of consensus in her unreasonably pretty head. âYou only think that because you've never had a good one.â
âI've had plenty.â
Yunjin's eyes narrow. She crunches.
You swallow hard.
âBut you've never had one from me.â
â
Look, youâre pretty sure Yunjinâs full of shit. Youâve known her forever, youâre well versed in her bullshitting waysâsheâs got a penchant for stretching out the truth until itâs as elastic as the underwear strap that she just loves to leave sticking out of her jeans.
So, yeah. The girl likes to exaggerate. Itâs kind of her job anyway. Make things seem bigger, more dramatic than they really are. Sell the idea of heaven in a three-minute pop song. Sweet lies from lips painted to perfection.
Plump, glossy, pillowy-soft lips that youâve seen pout and purse and get trapped between her teeth or swiped over by her tongue andâ
You get the picture.
âSeriously, the bathroom?â Youâre asking, and honestly, youâre trying to give her an out. Waiting for her to take it back, reveal that this is all just an extremely unfunny prank, designed to needle you, make you blush and maybe get a good story to embarrass you in front of her friends with. How she left the silly, naĂŻve hometown boy with his pants around his ankles and his dick in his hand.
Any time now, sheâll point and laugh and make you feel like even more of a fucking idiot when she says, âI canât believe your dumb ass actually followed me in here expecting a blowjob,â and thatâll be the end of it.
Really. Any time now.
And yet.
Silence as she closes the door behind her, which you feel the need to break with, âCome on, Yunjin, you donât have to prove anythingâ"
Yunjin cuts you offââOh, but I want to.â
She spins on her heels to face you. Presses her back flush against the door. She turns the lock.
Something in the room shifts.Â
Her posture, maybe, or more specifically something in her legs. The way sheâs angled herself so that your eyes are drawn to their long creamy expanse, up to the tightness of her thighs, and the way they frame the juncture in between.
Or itâs in the drop of one single shoulder; her half-zipped hoodie sliding down to reveal a sliver of smooth neck, the falling strap of her tank-top, the gentle swell of her chest.
Or maybe itâs just the tilt of her head, her lips all pouty and perfect, and oh, now sheâs unzipping the jacket further down and sheâs watching you find out in real time that sheâs left her midriff bare and uncovered and holy shit her abs are ridiculous and your brain is blue-screeningâ
This isnât the Yunjin you know.
The friend, the confidant, the embarrassingly loud chatterbox who raids your fridge and roasts your clothes and has a running commentary on every single woman that enters and very quickly leaves your orbit.
Each ticking second, each subtle movement, sheâs starting to look less and less like the girl from your childhood and more and more like the idol that everyone else seems desperate to worship.
She takes a step forward.
Your mouth feels paper-dry.
You lie, âCanât say youâre off to a great start, then.â
Yunjin raises a perfect brow, and yeah, she doesnât buy that shit for a second. âWhat, were you expecting somewhere with a little more ambiance?â
âWell, youâre setting yourself up for failure here,â you retort, some defence mechanism causing you to try to keep things casual, bring it back to more familiar, banter-heavy waters. âToilets arenât really a turn-on for me.âÂ
âDidnât take you for a romantic,â she teases, but something about her toneâlight, playful, less biting than usual, sends you in a tailspin. Your mind grinds to a halt when you realise why. Sheâs not simply teasing. Sheâs flirting. And sheâs taking another step.
âWhat can I say, Iâm a love before lust kind of guy.â
Yunjin just laughs, something foreign and a little bit wicked. Forces a chill down your spine that you canât quite explain. She makes those final steps, closing the distance, backing you up against the row of sinks, andâfuck.
She stops right in front of you. Your heart races. You think she can hear it thump.
âAm I making you nervous?â She asks, and itâs all kinds of fucked because now youâre seeing the details; the flecks of honey-brown escaping the coloured contacts that make her eyes pop, the curls at the end of her lashes, reaching out to touch the fluorescent lights overhead. âThe thought of my pretty lips wrapped around you putting you on edge?â
And you really thought you knew her mouth; but now sheâs jutting out her bottom lip, and itâs fuller than you remembered. As dangerously red as her hair, and Jesus Christ you catch the tremble in them when her eyes flicker down for just a brief instantâright before they return to yours.
She grins.
You aim for unaffected. You miss the mark by a wide margin. "Just donât want to disappoint you. Putting all this effort in only to be proven wrong by me. Again.â
Yunjin gives you a pitying sigh in response, the sound all honey and smoke, and she makes you flinch when she barely has to move a muscle to place a single finger on your sternum.
She draws a lazy circle on your chest. You hate that you shiver.
âSomething tells me that won't be the case,â sheâs saying, whisper-quiet now. The circle sheâs drawing gets wider, turns into a spiral, and now sheâs massaging into your chest, a hand over your heart, and her fingers are getting higher until theyâre up to your shoulder, and sheâs leaning in so her breath is hot on your neck, andââItâs going to be filthy. Sloppy. A fucking mess. Youâll never be the same. Iâm going to bring you to your knees.â
âI thought the whole idea of this was for you to be kneeling in front of me,â you manage, by some miracle, to keep your voice steady. âSeems like youâre getting ahead of yourself here.â
âAll in due time,â she answers, getting her body closer, and you can feel your worser impulses start to involuntarily close the gap between your waists. âIâm not like those other girls. Iâm not going to just jump right on your cock and bounce up and down for two minutes. I think youâve earned yourself a little torture.â
âThen youâre wasting your time.â
âWeâll see about that,â she chides, and her other hand starts to skate down your chest, lower and lower until it stops just short of your pants. Her thumb digs into your waistband. Tugs. Does nothing else.
And maybe there's something there. The denial. The torture. The helplessness. Coming from someone who's always been a little bossy, who you've always let get her way because, hell, she's Yunjin, and she always promised that in the end she'd make it so nice for you.
Youâre not sure if you want to find out.
âYunjinââ
âDonât be afraid,â she giggles, breaking you out of whatever spell has kept you frozen in place this entire time. âGo ahead, you can touch me too, if you want.â
But it's just as you reach out for her that youâre caught.
Yunjin traps one of your wrists in her grasp, causing you to freeze up all over again. Brings your hand to her mouth. Letâs her eyes flit onceâto your faceâand againâto your thumb.
She sucks.
Slow, deep, her tongue swirling around the digit as it disappears past her lips and into the warmth of her mouth. Vibrates a ridiculously filthy moan into your knuckle, convincing you for a second that your thumb must be delicious, must be something really fucking sweet for her to be slurping on it like this.
She pulls away, just enough to let the sticky wetness left behind glisten in the light.
Her lips bless the pad. âYouâre picturing it, arenât you?â
And then the next finger; and yeah, youâre transfixedâfascination, horror, painful straining as she does the same dance with your forefinger. Deep, deeper than the thumb could reach, until your nail is scraping at the back of her throat andâ
It pops out of her mouth as quick as it entered, and you feel it in your coreâthe sudden absence. âYouâre thinking about itâthinking I might be right. Realising that if I can do this to your fingersââ
You canât bring yourself to argue. Canât even bring yourself to speak. Youâre too busy watching her mouth, too busy watching your middle finger go all the way in, push down into her throat and holy fuck, she doesnât even gag.
âItâd feel so much better than anything you ever had. Ever even imagined,â she says, and sheâs kissing up and down your finger, staining it fire-engine red. âSee, the problem wasnât that you donât like blowjobs. Itâs that you never once gotten one from a mouth this eager for you.â
And finally, when her teeth graze the tip of your ring finger, and youâre expecting the warmth of her lips once more, she stops.
Grinds her hip into you, forcing you to stab into her abs, and itâs unavoidable nowâthe pressure of your cock, ready to tear itself out of your jeans and just feel her. Her touch. Her cunt. Her mouth.
She feels it too. Arches her eyebrowââI told you soâ on her lips prepped and ready.
You wait under the heat of her gaze, trying not to look because you really don't want to give her the satisfaction. But fuck itâs hard. Each breath feeling like itâs being siphoned out of you, replaced with the scent of herâsweet, suffocating. Intoxicating.
But your eyes turn traitor. And itâs a mistake.
Yunjin squeezes your wrist, steals your attention. Takes your ring and pinkie fingers into her mouth. Pushes them past her lips at the same goddamn time.
Your mind goes completely, utterly blank.
She sucks on them hard, drawing them deep past her lips, devouring them, like theyâre the last two drops of water in the desert and sheâs just been dying of thirst. Holds your eyes hostage, needing an audience to watch as she makes a show of it; moaning around them, tongue rolling over and around your digits and youâre receiving the message loud and clearââYou have no idea what youâre in for.â
You feel your knees start to give out.
Your fingers are soaked with her saliva, and the sounds sheâs makingâdeep, throaty, fucking obsceneâyour bodyâs being hijacked, all your blood redirected to one painfully obvious place.
It occurs to you that you should just give up now. Tell her sheâs proven her point. Your heartâs racing, your chest is tightening, your breath is coming in ragged, desperate bursts. Just tell her you believe her and jump straight to the part where she does her victory dance on top of your cock
If only.
Yunjin sets your fingers free with a smack of her lips, but the heat of her mouth still clings to your skin, lingering with the wetness of her tongue, the promise of something so much better. She kisses a trail around your palm, over the back of your hand, around your wrist.
And then sheâs on her toes, and sheâs leaning her body into you, using your shoulder for support. Marking your neck, nose nuzzling against the stubble, and you canât help but wrap your arms around her waist. Pull her closer, give her tongue access to your jaw, your cheek, anywhere she wants.
Her teeth line the bottom of your ear, and she sucks gently at your earlobe, and you swear to fucking God it makes your balls tingle.
She bites. âBy the end of this, youâre going to be begging.â
Gets closer still, nestles herself into your embrace, presses her tits against your chest. It's divine, the feeling of her against you, in your arms. So right. A body so tight; slender and grace and so happy to have your arms wrapped around her, so delighted that you've discovered the perfect home for your fingers, because she would absolutely hate to have them anywhere else. On anyone else.
"You won't be able to resist me," she tells you, her breath hot on your skin, making it rise up in goosebumps. And you just nod along, because what could be better than the way she's touching you, the heat she's offering, the things you can already picture her lips doing?
And thatâs when she lays it on youâher true endgame in all of this teasing:
âYouâre going to want it so badly, youâre going to call me Mommy.â
You nearly push her right off you.
Yunjin just stares straight at you. Dead serious. Heat, intent, fucking determination set upon her awfully pretty features.
âIâm older than you, you know.â You try to laugh it off, but it comes out strained when Yunjin presses herself into you again, and her tongue starts to trace the shell of your ear, and her hand starts to work at your zipper. Touching you like itâs the most natural thing in the world. Like sheâs done it so many times before. Like sheâs going to do it so many times again.
âItâs a state of mind, baby,â and she smirks, and thereâs a challenge in there. Two doorsâtry to prove her wrong and walk away, keep your dignity intact. Or just let go, get rid of your pride and fall into a pair of the most tempting, talented, sinful lips that have ever graced your skin.
You don't even get a second to decide.
Her handâs already at your throat, pulling you close. You let her. Make it easy. Taste the sweetness of her breath, getting a split second to crave her tongue before finally meeting it. Her mouth crashes into yours, and youâre gone.
You kiss her back, breathe her in. Welcome her tongue past your teeth, let it stroke yours, dance in a way thatâs far too right for a first time, and it's crazy how she just fits.
She feels, smells, tastes like everything good.
You settle into the reality that this might be the lastâonlyâchance you get.
Face it, youâve always known who she isâundeniable, goddamn gorgeous, sexy, hot, plain and simple. But this? This is different. Youâve watched it. Yunjin on stage, wearing next to nothing, hips rolling in sync with a thrumming bass, eyes fucking the hell out of the cameras. And youâve fantasised about it. But it's always felt so fucking far-fetched. She's always felt so impossibly out of reach.
Intangible, since the day she debuted. Ascended to some place that you could never join.
But now.
Sheâs come back down, just for this. Just to reclaim something that's always been hers.
She moans something nice into your mouth when she feels you pushing back against her. Her hand finally dips beneath your waistband. Finds you eager. Desperate.
But then she pulls away.
Eyes widen, fucking laughs.
âOh, youâre such an asshole.â
You blink. âWhat?â
She reaches back, hands careful. Like sheâs defusing a bomb. Her fingers peel down the zipper of your pants, and then yank down the stretched-out cotton of your briefs, and youâre set free.
Hard. Aching. Throbbing.
Hers.
âAsshole,â she repeats.
You donât even know what the fuck.
âChrist, it suddenly makes sense,â she says to herself, but doesnât bother elaborating. No, instead, she just reaches back down, wraps her fingers around you and gives you a little squeeze. Tests the water. Feels the way your cock jumps under her touch.
Your knuckles turn white against the sink behind you, and Yunjin smiles again when she realises youâre going to let her do whatever she wants.
And so her hand starts moving. Slowly. Gently.
She kisses you again, for just a moment, and then lower, and lower. Stroking you as she maps her way down your body with her lips. Feather-light against your skin, touch hot on your cock, dragging it out, building the anticipation.
Stopping when sheâs on her knees. Breathing on your cock.
You hiss in a breath.
Yunjin lets go. Takes off her jacket. Tightens her ponytail. Blinks up at you. And fuck. Her chin tipped just so. Her cheeks flushed. Her eyes alone making you strain.
Her lips part, and you find yourself nodding before she even says a single word.
âIâm going to take care of you now,â she whispers into your skin, kissing into your thigh. Itâs warm, soft, wet. Excruciating. Sheâs so close to where you need her mouth to be, but so fucking far.
Her fingers trace patterns up and down your shaft, dancing over your cock. Not touching, never. Just teasing. Torment that has you squirming, and sheâs basking in it, tracking every twitch, loving every desperate gasp.
âYouâre mine,â Yunjin mutters, as her mouth travels up your thigh, and your muscles start to shake. You could just grab her, itâd be so easy. Just take her by the hair, force her to give you want you want. But something stops you. Afraid of breaking this moment. Anticipating whatâs to come.Â
Your oxygen's running low, barely breathing, canât stop yourself from panting when her teeth scrape along your hipbone, and your cock jumps in response, nearly slapping her right in the face.
But fuck, Yunjinâs a sadist. She kisses around your waist, her tongue darting out to taste your skin, exhaling hot and steamy air against your balls. You're dripping, beading at the tip, and itâs all so, so obvious.
The wait is agony. Pure agony.
Yunjin gives you a small mercy. Her hand wraps around you again, and for an instant youâre terrified that the touch alone would be the end of it.
But thankfully, you outlast. Yunjin strokes you lightly, her grip firm but gentle. Loving. Wresting control over you, your cock. So fucking hard already, youâre surprised you havenât torn the sink off the wall yet.
And then, oh fuck, sheâs kissing closer. Your abs, your belly button. Lower, lower, breath hot on your cock, closer, closer, please.
You canât take it anymore. You need her. You need this.
âYunjin,â and any other time you would hate yourself for how embarrassingly needy it comes out.
âAdmit you were wrong,â Yunjin says, and youâre ready to scream it, tell her youâve never been more wrong about anything in your entire life. Anything to feel her lips. âAdmit that thereâs no way your hand could ever be better than this.â
âYes,â you grit out, and itâs a fucking miracle you can form words at all. âYou were right. I was wrong.â
Sheâs baring teeth now, and her lips are ghosting over your cock head and you just need her.
âPlease.â
âSay it.â
âI can'tââ
âDo it.â
âMommy.â
And thenâ
Her mouth is on you.
Wet, hot, heaven. Taking you in slow, eyes paying attention to your every flinch, the agonising twists across your face. Trained on all your strained reactions. Savouring it. Reading you like a bookâevery page turned with a flick of her tongue, every paragraph devoured with a swirl of her cheeks.
Slow, so slow. Deliberate. Perfect suction. Just enough to make your toes curl, to have your hips buck in her mouth. Convincing you that everything before, everything you ever had, whatever you believed was a blowjobâwas all a fucking lie.
No one ever felt like this.
Your fingers release the sink, find their natural place in her hair, threading through the red, letting it knot around your digits. And there's the urge again. Tug, pull, make her go faster, make her understand that sheâs already won so you might as well fuck without abandon, but you donât dare. You donât want to ruin this. Not when she seems so satisfied.
Cheeks hollowing out with every suck, smiling around your cock, basking in some kind of pleasure you canât even comprehendâbecause sheâs the one doing the giving here.
And then when she sinks, finally pushes your cock to the back of her throat and further down. Presses her nose to your waist and holds you there. Stealing your breath, the air from your lungs, forcing a deep, guttural âFuckâ from your gut.
You reach your conclusion. Her lips are made for this. Made to fit around your cock perfectly, to slide up and down with the fucking unapologetically sloppy noises that make the room spin. That itâs only her throat that can take you deeper than you ever thought possible, that can constrict and tighten around you so nice. That no other mouth could be this warm, hot, welcoming, fucking right.
She pulls back. A long, long draw that leaves a fucking mess. Globs of spit, drool, pre-cum hanging off your cock, from her lips.
âThis poor, poor cock,â she sighs, like itâs such a great tragedy. âNever had anyone treat it right. Like the treasure it is.â
She shows you what she means, demonstrates how to properly worship your cock. Lips brushing along your shaft, pecking gentle kisses along your length, tongue snaking out to lick off her own spit.
Her hand slides under your balls, cupping them, balancing them in her palm. Holding them in place when she points your cock up so she can duck underneath. Nuzzle her nose into your waist, lap her tongue at your base, get her lips right where youâre most sensitive.
Pleasing you like sheâs always wanted to. Making you believe that maybe she has. Maybe this is something sheâs been thinking about all this time; every time sheâs seen you, seen the way you looked at her, heard you tell stories of the other women that only ever disappointed you with their mouths.
Not knowing that she was the one that could make you fucking levitate this entire time.
âThis was always going to happen,â Yunjin says. Starting to stroke you again, her grip a little tighter this time, a little more possessive. Looking up at you through her lashes, red lipstick smudged off the corner of her mouth. âOne way or another, I was always going to have this.â
And her tongue is everywhere. Laving around the base of your cock, making you feel it all the way to your toes. Not done with the teasing, the unbearably slow burn thatâs going to drive you insane.
Her mouth opens wide. She takes one of your balls into her mouth. Surrounds it in soft, wet heat. Suckingânot hard, not yet, just enough. Enough to make you bite down and grind your teeth. Squeeze your eyes shutânot that it even helps. You can feel her tongue rolling around, coating your balls in a warm stickiness. Soothing. Torturous. So fucking good.
She lets out a soft hum, and the vibration nearly sends you over the edge.
Yunjin lets go with a pop, and you swear you can hear your soul sigh in relief and despair. âGod, this cock,â she murmurs, âWish you had told me, shown it to me sooner.â
The way she says itâlike you could even fathom what youâve been missing out on. Years of this? Years of her mouth on you? Years of her making you feel like the only thing that matters in this fucking world is impaling your cock into the most insanely hot and wet and tight hole youâve ever felt?
The look on Yunjinâs face answers every single question for you.
Yes. Yes to all of it.
âCould have been doing this every fucking day,â she muses, and you let out some choked gasp, and her lips are kissing into your slit again. Then her tongue, then lower, and sheâs taking you deep. So deep youâre pretty sure you can feel her fucking heartbeat through her throat.
She holds you there. One, two, three. Letting her tongue drool down your shaft, letting it drip over your balls and splash down between her knees.
Pulls back, lets go, catches her breath.
Spits on your cock.
âImagine,â she speaks, even though her mouth is a fucking disaster, lips swollen, just a glossy smudge of red. âJust waking up to me sucking this, getting it all nice and hard and throbbing.â
Itâs not difficult at all to see it. You can feel it. Tongue flattening against the underside of your cock, the swallow as sheâs taking you in, the cheeks fixing around the edges with each bob. Just so fucking messy. Soaking your cock, letting these garbled, choked, slick, filthy noises echo off the bathroom walls.
âThis would ruin me, you know that donât you? Ruin my cunt,â she tells you. âRuin Mommyâs tight little cunt so fucking nicely.â
âFuck you, Yunjin,â is the best you can muster, which is impressive considering your brain cells are dying off one by one from the lack of oxygen.
âYeah, Iâm sure youâd love that.â
âOf course I would,â you admit, and then continue admitting, âIâve always fucking wanted to.â
âI know,â Yunjin admits back, and that sets her off. Her mouth goes to work again, your cock disappearing into her, her hand getting just that little bit faster, and fuck, fuck, fuck, sheâs got it all wrong.
Sheâs the one thatâs going to ruin you. Going to make you forget every other orgasm you ever had.
There'll be no room for anything in your head but just thoughts of fucking her. Raw, rough; again and again until she's completely filled up with you and even then.
âBeen dreaming of it,â you groan out, as Yunjinâs pace builds, and thereâs the beginning of tears lining her eyes, and sheâs gagging more often than not, and it compels you to keep telling her, âBeen dreaming of your tight fucking body. What Iâd do to get my hands on that slutty little waist. Just dig in my fingers and pound into that cunt. God I know it would feel so good.â
Deeper and deeper, until she doesnât even need to use her hands anymore. Just to steady your legs, to keep you still while she fucks your cock with her throat.
And itâs these images youâre drawing up in her mind. How youâd pay her back, how youâd make her scream, howâd you do the same to her and more. Wreck her with your cock until she never seeks another again. Make sure that her lips, her cunt, her body belong to only you. Thatâs whatâs driving her now, making her eyes water, making her cheeks go red and her throat bulge.
Thatâs what has her hand snaking down between her thighs, forcing open the button of her shorts, stretching the waistband of her panties to their limits. Just so she can touch herself. To feed into the heat building in her cunt and the wetness leaking down her legs.
You can feel her, mouth tightening around you as she teases herself. Feel the accidental swipe of her teeth when it gets too much. Sheâs rubbing her clit in circles, matching the tempo of her bobbing head.
Fuck, the sight alone.
Hand disappearing into her shorts, getting down and into herself, and sheâs so fucking pretty, even when her face is scrunched up in the worst of pleasures, even when sheâs choking on your cock.
And you think thereâs laughter around the gags, or at least a smile against your skin when you throb, jerk, fuck her mouth. Sheâs enjoying this. The power, the pleasure she can wrench from you. Youâre getting off, sure, but itâs all for her. All to prove her point.
And sheâs fucking winning.
âTell me,â she gurgles when sheâs at your head, mouth bubbling at the corners with a cocktail mix of her sloppiness and your arousal. âTell me how good it feels.â
âShit, Yunjin, it feelsââ
âActually, fuck that, tell me itâs better,â Yunjin decides, and she seems so fucking pleased with herself that you want to hate her. But itâs so hard to deny those big fucking eyes that anchor you to the ground, those ridiculously plump lips that suck any argument right out of your throat. âBetter than your hand. Better than any other mouth. Tell me itâs the best thing thatâs ever happened to your cock. Be a good boy and tell me Iâm better.â
You groan, or whimper, or cry, or make some noise that makes Yunjin just so fucking ecstatic, makes her swoon and nearly come apart on her own fingers. âSo much fucking better, Yunjin. Jesus, your lips. Perfect for this. Perfect, cock-sucking lips. Hot mouth. Your fucking throat taking me so nice.â
âUse it,â Yunjin opens her mouth, stretches her lips as far as they'll go, showing you, sticking out her tongue and giving you an insight into your own end. âUse it like the toy itâs always been for you. Fuck it, fuck me. Use my lips, my mouth, my throat. Make me choke until you think I can't take it and then give me even more.â
âYouâre fucking insane.â
âAnd youâre about to make a mess.â
Yeah, youâre properly doomed.
God itâs so fucking cruel. How Yunjin doubles down, mouth swallowing you whole. So fast and deep that you donât understand how youâre still on your feet. Just watching her throat pulse, convulse, her eyes bulge when you rut inside her and she just wonât stop.
âYouâre so fucking good, Yunjin, so good, youâre aâfuckâyouâre aââ Only one word comes straight to mind, "Cumslut."
Yunjin preens. Looks up, lashes fluttering. Sounding so girly that it makes everything seem even more debauched and depraved. âArenât I? Arenât I so good for you?â
You grunt out, âYou already fucking know.â
Yunjinâs hand returns to the fold, jerking your cock into her lips, because your own personal catastropheâs on the horizon. Itâs coiling in your balls, tightening up, a spring ready to snap.
And, oh, how Yunjin would love to be the one that snaps it.
âYouâre not going to be able to go back. Never. No one else will be able to take this big fucking cock like this. No one can be as much of a cumslut for you.â
Youâre fucking falling apart. Yunjinâs mouth is a vice. Hot, heavenly, sloppy vice thatâs squeezing the last drops of sanity from your brain. She just keeps fucking doing itâtaking you so deep until your cockâs lost down her throat, over and over again. And itâs building and getting closer and closer to disaster and every nerve ending in your body is just begging for release.
âGive in,â she slurs around your girth, barely coherent, mouth full of you. Pumping your cock faster, until itâs throbbing and aching so desperately and angrily, and her words are sounding nicer and nicer with every passing beat. âGive up. Give me that cum. All of it. Â Cum for me. Make Mommy happy. Give me what I want. Give me what I need. Give meââ
âShut the fuck up and take itââ
âBe a good boy and begââ
âFuck youââ
Youâre straining, for the first time lifting your hips off the sink and falling into her. Hands holding onto her headâand now her hair is just a handlebar, and you're riding her mouth for dear life, fucking into it like she doesn't have a choice. Using her, making her take you, over and over, again and again, and sheâs just so happy to keep fingering herself into oblivion while you lose all tempo and pace and forcefully, clumsily wreck her throat.
Until youâre just seeing red.
Red of her hair, her lips. Red smudged up and down your cock and against your waist and all over your fucking fingers.
And thenâ
âFuck youâMommy!â
You can see it in her eyes.
You can feel it in every nerve ending.
You can taste it in the air.
Itâs harsh, mean, rough. Pounding into her mouth, stretching her throat, until her nails are digging into your thighs and youâre shaking, twitching, fuckingâ
Cumming.
You empty yourself into her. Yunjin doesnât flinch. She takes it. Every pulse of your orgasm, every drop of your cum. Swallows it down with a greedy gulp, again and again, until she canât swallow anymore.
It gushes out of her mouth.
A thick rope that she canât quite keep up with that paints those gorgeous fucking lips. Her cheeks and chin. Drips down to her neck. So fucking beautiful. Covered with your cum all over her face, and now down to her shoulder, her collarbone, and oh youâve ruined her entire slutty outfit.
âGod, fuck, Yunjinââ
And sheâs dropping her pussy down onto her fingers, panting around your cock, around mouthfuls of your cum. Working her clit in quick, sharp movements until itâs just your hand tangled in her hair thatâs keeping her upright.
This fucking image of her.
Mouth full of you, swallowing, choking, gagging. So fucking obscene you canât look away. Eyes rolled back into her skull, cheeks are flaming, and sheâs so shiny and wet and glazed over, and just a complete fucking mess for you.
You canât imagine anything better.
It leaves you reeling. Standing there with your cock still out. Shaking from aftershocks that youâre not sure will ever end. Trying to catch your breath, chest heaving, eyes blurring back into clarity while you watch Yunjin return to life.
âGood boy,â she breathes, but itâs hardly smug. Itâs just pure victory.
She opens her mouth. Smiles so wide. Shows you her prize. Shows you the mess sheâs made, shows you everything. Moans at the taste of it, as she absorbs your flavour into her tongue. Completely dazed, mouth fucked to hell, and just strung-out and drunk on your cum. She finds the energy to swipe her tongue around her teeth, cleaning the best she can. She barely makes a dent.
And youâre still hard. Still fucking throbbing.
Her eyes never leave yours. She wants you to see.
She grins, and you're already expecting it, the victory speech. Something no doubt flirty and teasing and completely fucking filthy that will make you want to throw her over the sink and punish her tight, drenched cunt until she's the one begging and calling you Daddy.
Only, that all gets tossed out when you hear someone banging on the bathroom door.
âEverything okay in there?â
The sudden intrusion brings everything back into focus, seizes you back into a reality outside of Yunjin's cum-stained lips.
You clear your throat.
âIâm sorry, itâs my,â and you look down and Yunjinâs beaming up at you. Looking so perfect, kneeling on the cold tiles. Streaks of your cum hanging off her chin. She blows you a kiss. âMy girlfriend. Just needed some immediate attention.â
And Yunjin decides to up the ante, leaning back into you. Snaking her arms around your thigh. Kissing into where youâre still so ridiculously sensitive. And then licking and sucking andâ
It takes an impossible amount of effort to not scream at the top of your lungs. âWeâll be out soon, just need a coupleââ
Yunjin shakes her head. Shows you both hands. Flashes all fingers.
âTenââ
Shakes her head once more. Flashes again.
âTwenty?â
Yunjin nods.
âTwenty minutes.â
Thereâs a pause on the other side of the door, and you realise that this is all fucking out of control and completely unbelievable.
But still.
Yunjinâs tongue is setting you on fire, and God sheâs kissing up higher, rising to her feet and she's covering every inch of your skin that she has yet to leave her mark.
You whisper-shout at her, âTheyâre going to break this door down.â
Yunjin laughs, and thereâs no way whoever is outside the bathroom doesnât hear it.
She removes her ruined top. Lets her bra fall to the ground. Steps out of her drenched panties. She looks like perfection.
âThatâs fine,â she says, and sheâs taking a hold of you, kissing you, and you can taste yourself on her lips and fuck, sheâs winning againââBut youâre going to break me first.â
You are Karinaâs unofficial date for the gala. This, of course, means you get to stand next to the most desirable woman in the roomâwhile everyone assumes youâre either her gay best friend or an ambitious charity case.
The ballroom smells like money. Old money, new money, clean money, dirty moneyâand then thereâs you: no money. It doesnât matter that the tuxedo fits perfectly (courtesy of Karina dragging you to her personal tailor while you begged her to let you just rent something). It also doesnât matter that you have a literal angel on your arm; you can still sense the invisible barcode on everyone else in the room and feel all the eyes scanning you only to come up with insufficient funds.
Needless to say, you feel like a complete fraud.
âBreathe,â Karina whispers, her hand tightening around your arm.
You look down at her and immediately feel under-qualified to breathe the same air.
She looks downright devastating in blackâa dress so elegant that it brings you physical pain. It clings to her skin like her body has its own gravity, emphasizing every single curve that you have to consciously avoid thinking about every time you look at her.
âI am breathing,â you say, swallowing hard. âIâm just calculating how many months of rent are currently hanging from that chandelier.â
She looks up with you. âAnd whatâs the verdict?â
âIâm going with maybe 86. Minimum.â
âAnd max?â
âSomewhere in the hundreds, surely.â
âHow about we stop doing math?â She leans into you. âYouâre my human shield tonight, remember?â
Yes, you remember. Of course you remember, but unfortunately, the shield is already cracking.
âIf anyone asks,â you say, scanning the room, âIâm telling them Iâm the entertainment.â
This, of course, is very believable considering how much of a clown you look like next to her.
You watch as a dozen pairs of eyes glide over Karina like sheâs a limited-edition asset, and to nobodyâs surprise, it takes exactly thirty seconds for the first son-of-someone to appear.
âYoo Jimin-ssi,â he says excitedly, as if her name itself is a down payment to his next apartment complex. âYou look absolutely stunning tonight.â
She smiles and bows politely while covering her chest. Heâs visibly disappointed.
âThank you. Itâs nice to see you again,â she says, although you truly wonder if she actually remembers who he is.
He glances at you with the kind of look rich people reserve for valet staff. âAnd you areâŠ?â
âHer emotional support employee,â you mutter.
Karinaâs mouth twitches. âHeâs a good friend of mine,â she corrects. âWe work together.â
The manâs eyes do a quick calculation of your net worth based on your shoes, and looks back at her like heâd just received permission to flirt. âIâm Lee Daesung. My fatherââ
âI know who your father is,â Karina interrupts pleasantly, like sheâs just complimenting his tie. âHeâs the one who keeps calling mine to âcatch upâ but somehow never forgets to mention that youâre single now.â
Daesung laughs too loudly, causing her to nearly flinch. Heâs already failing the audition.
A second man slides in. Then a third.
They descend on her like vultures in fancy designer suits and shiny million-dollar watches. The sons of board members, the heirs to generational fortunes, the type of âpromising young executivesâ her father wants to merge portfolios with.
They smile at youâpolite yet dismissive smilesâbefore physically maneuvering their shoulders to box you out. Somehow, youâre slowly, strategically pushed away from your own date.
âJimin-ssi, did you summer in Como this year?â
âJimin-ssi, you simply must see the new gallery opening.â
âJimin-ssi, pardon my forwardness, but your father mentioned that you broke up with your high school sweetheart?â
You stand there, holding her bag for half a second, then her drink, then nothing, then eventually the remnants of your own dignity, which isnât much.
She flashes you an apologetic look over the shoulder of a man whose belt costs more than ten times your life insurance payout, but is then swept away by the tide of social obligation and familial piety.
So much for human shield, you think.
You step back, grabbing a glass of champagne from a passing tray just to have something to do with your hands so that you donât end up throwing them at some billionaireâs son.
Thatâs when you see her.
Across the room, standing like an ice sculpture, is Winter. Sheâs wearing all white, practically glowing in the sea of black suits and dresses.
Her ex is also there, of course. Heâs dressed like heâs auditioning for Most Punchable Man of the Year, one hand over her back like heâs guiding her through an angry crowd. Except the crowd isnât what she needs to be saved from. Itâs him. Heâs the problem.
Heâs your problem.
Winter tilts her head as she listens to him talk about something to someone. God, you hate that. Why does she even care about what he has to say?
You know that it makes no sense to feel this way, but your jaw tightens anyway. Jealousy claws up your throat, and all you can do is wash it down with expensive champagne.
It shouldnât even matter. You came here with Karina, the woman who laughs at your dumb jokes and listens to your work rants like theyâre Ted Talks. The girl who looks at you with soft eyes and wears your cheap gift on her five-to-six digit handbags. You should be focused on her.
But instead, your eyes are glued to the way Winterâs exâs thumb brushes the bare skin of her shoulder, and that makes you want to walk over there and break his hand.
âYouâre doing it again,â a voice purrs beside you.
You donât jumpâyouâre used to it now.
Ningning appears next to you, sipping a martini. She has no date. She doesnât need oneâsheâs treating all the men in the room like a buffet and sampling freely. If anything, having a date would be detrimental.
âIâm not doing anything,â you mutter, taking another drink from a passing server.
She steps closer to you, voice dropping. âHe looks smug, doesnât he? Thinking heâs the king of the castle.â
âHe looks like he owns her,â you say, the words tasting more bitter than the liquor.
âRelax,â Ningning says, clinking her glass against yours. âThe night is still young. We havenât even sprung the trap yet.â
You open your mouth to ask what trap, exactly, but she doesnât even look at youâher attention already flew past your shoulder.
You turnâand immediately feel like youâre about to get arrested.
Standing there, right behind you, is Yuna.
The first thing that you notice is that she looks good. Insanely good. Sheâs wearing a dress that is simply not shy to show off her absolutely ridiculous proportions. Sheâs etherealâsheâs a renowned model for a reason, and seeing her now in person makes you finally understand why.
âNing Yizhuo, is that you?â Yuna says, her voice mockingly bright and airy. âWhat a pleasure. I almost didnât recognize you without all the filters.â
Ningningâs expression shifts into a smile that is terrifyingly artificial, even by her standards. âShin Yuna!â she exclaims. âOh my god, hi! Wow, I love your dress. My grandmother has a tablecloth just like it.â
Yunaâs smile doesnât even flicker. âItâs vintage Dior. But I wouldnât expect you to know that. You seem more of a fast-fashion girly.â
âYou know, speaking of fastâI saw your campaign before it got pulled,â Ningning says sweetly. âYouâre truly so brave. To wear that color with your skin tone.â
Yuna steps closer, clutching her champagne glass. âThe campaign didnât get pulled. It was reimagined.â Her eyes narrow. âBut itâs funnyâever since you crawled out of whatever Instagram DM they found you from, all our billboard spots suddenly belong to Aespa.â
âThatâs the magic of working with a real Creative Director,â Ningning hums. âKim Minjeong knows talent when she sees it. But you wouldnât get understand. We know Ryujin only hires family.â
âLook, I donât know what kind of messy game youâre playing to get your boss the top spot, but just a heads upâif you play dirty, people will eventually smell it.â
âDonât worry,â Ningning chirps, batting her eyelashes. âI shower often. You should try it sometime. We can smell all the married executives underneath that perfume. What is itâChanel No.5?â
Yunaâs grip on her glass tightens. âCareful,â she says, dropping the bubbly act. âHeels are tricky on this floor. Would be so embarrassing if you suddenly tripped and broke something. Like your nose.â
Ningning leans in just another centimeter. âGood newsâitâs real, so itâll heal,â she says, then pulls back with a smirk. âEnjoy the food, Yuna. I hear they have sour grapes. Your favorite.â
Yuna holds the stare for one second longer before flipping her hair and turning away.
Ningning keeps smiling until she disappears into the crowd. âBitch,â she mutters, her face instantly dropping into a scowl.
You blink, trying to process whether all of that was scary or arousing. âYou guys really do not like each other.â
âDid you see her shoes?â she hisses. âLast season. Embarrassing.â
She downs the rest of her champagne in one go, then her eyes snap back to you. âAnyway. Forget about that rat.â She nods past your shoulder. âLook whoâs coming.â
You look toward the center of the room, where two women have just entered, parting the crowd like the Red Sea.
One of them is excruciatingly doll-like, with a smile that looks both sweet and terrifyingly practiced. The other has a sharp, charismatic gaze and a stride so confident it feels like she owns the entire building and is considering evicting everyone else by midnight.
âWho are they?â you ask, unable to even blink. âAnd why is everyone staring at them like theyâre royalty?â
âThat,â Ningning says, swirling her drink, âis the competition.â
âCompetition,â you repeat. âLike⊠our companyâs competition? Or your competition. Because you seem to have a lot of those.â
âBoth.â She points a manicured nail discreetly. âMeet Jang Wonyoung and An Yujin. The crown jewels of IVE Corp.â
You glance again. Jang Wonyoung is already doing the whole smile-and-wave thingâsoft laughs, perfect eye contact, hands on forearms like sheâs collecting alliances one touch at a time. An Yujin stays half a step behind in a permanent, sweet smile, scanning the room like sheâs identifying friends from foes with just one glance.
âWonyoung is the faceâhandles the press, the image, the dazzling. Yujin is the muscleâhandles the strategy, the execution, the burying of bodies.â
Youâre still staring. âSo one smiles and one murders.â
Ningning leans her chin on her hand, watching them work the room in perfect sync. âExactly. Theyâre a perfect unit. They donât fightâthey just win. Thatâs what the Chairman wishes Winter and Karina wereâif they werenât so busy playing âwho has more childhood traumaâ and fighting over scraps of validation.â
She takes a sip of her drink, her gaze drifting back to Winter, who is currently being steered by her ex toward a group of investors like a prize poodle.
âInstead, he has a fractured dynasty of daddy issues,â Ningning murmurs. âBut luckily for him, he does have us.â
âWhat, two underpaid interns?â
âBatman and Catwoman,â she corrects. âExcept youâre not rich.â
A sigh involuntarily escapes you. âThanks for the reminder.â
âDonât worry. At least Iâm hot,â she adds, taking a sip. âEspecially in a leather suit.â
Before you can ask if she actually owns one, the double doors swing open again.
The Chairman has arrived.
Winterâs father isnât a large man, but he always sucks the air out of the room like a vacuum. Ever since his âminor heart procedureâ last yearâwhich was definitely major surgery, judging by the stock dipâheâs been walking with a cane that he clearly doesnât need anymore. Nowadays, he uses it less for support and more like a scepter to whack people out of the way.
On his arm is Giselle. She looks triumphant, clinging to him like sheâs physically tethered to his wallet, soaking in the camera lights and the whispers.
âLook at her,â Ningning says, delighted. âSheâs glowing. Or maybe thatâs just from all the diamonds she bought with Aespaâs cash reserves.â
The Chairman steers her through the crowd like heâs showing off a new acquisition. You watch closely as the camera flashes speed up the more she waves.
He introduces her to Winter, who looks like sheâs trying to swallow a lemon whole but bows politelyâa full 45 degrees.
Then, he introduces her to the ex.
âAnd this is Minjeongâs boyfriend,â the Chairman says proudly. âHe came to join us all the way from London.â
You immediately want to jump off the balcony.
The ex smilesâthat smooth, practiced smile that makes you want to physically tear offâthen takes Giselleâs hand and bows low, not just shaking it, but lifting it to kiss her knuckles.
âDid you see that?â Ningning hisses, gripping your wrist hard enough to leave a mark.
âSee what? The performative kiss-assery?â
âHis thumb,â she whispers, her voice tight with excitement. âHe caressed her palm. Right in front of Winter.â
You look again. Winter is staring at them. She saw it too. Her face is pale, her jaw locked tight, but she says nothing. She canât. Not in front of the father sheâs so terrified of disappointing.
âGod, I love it.â Ningning exhales. âThis is messier than reality television.â
A shark-like grin spreads across her face, but something on the other side of the room suddenly catches her attention. âOkay, stay put,â she says, already moving. âI need to check the perimeter. Donât die of jealousy while Iâm gone.â
âFor whatâNing, wait!â you hiss.
But sheâs already slipped away into the shadows, leaving you standing alone with a potted fern that looks like itâs laughing at you.
After a few minutes of silently fuming and wishing you had another drink, a hand gently touches your elbow.
Itâs Karina.
She looks exhausted. Not physically, but socially, like sheâs just run a marathon of small talk.
âKarina,â you breathe, relaxing immediately.
She slides into the space beside you, using your body as a shield against the room. âHide me,â she murmurs, pressing her shoulder against yours. âIâve shaken hands with three people who didnât know my name and one who called me Winter.â
âWho would mistaken Glinda for the Wicked Witch of the West?â you ask, pulling her closer.
âMy face hurts from smiling.â She sighs, resting her forehead briefly against your arm. âIs my eye twitching? Be honestâdo I look crazy?â
You look down at her. She looks perfectâterrifyingly so.
âYeah,â you say, letting the alcohol take the wheel. âCrazy pretty.â
Her eyes widen. She opens her mouth to say somethingâmaybe a thank you, maybe a deflectionâbut a voice cuts through the moment, as if the universe has a strict policy against nice things.
âMiss Yoo.â
She pulls away from you instantly.
A man in a sharp suitâone of her fatherâs assistantsâis standing there, looking impatient, to say the least. He looks at you with the expression of someone scraping gum off their shoe, then ignores you entirely.
âYour father is asking for you,â he says to her, checking his watch. âThe dinner ceremony is starting soon. He expects you at the main table.â
âOf course,â she says, straightening her back. âBe right there.â
Karina takes a breath, then looks back at you. âLetâs go,â she says lightly.
You blink. âMe? Iâm not allowed over there. You know that.â
She reaches out, fingers brushing your wrist in a way that makes your pulse jump. âSure you do. Youâre my human shield, remember?â
The transition from cocktail hour to sit-down-and-be judged is immediate. You move to follow Karina toward the main dining area, trying to purposely lag behind, aiming for a table near the kitchen where you can eat bread rolls in anonymity, but Karina has a death grip on your elbow.
So instead, you harness all your strength to ignore every pair of eyes glaring at you before finally arriving at the head tableâjust as Karinaâs father is taking his seat.
He looks up, eyes beaming the moment he sees her. âJimin-ah!â he says, standing to greet her. âThere you are. I was just telling the Kangs about your time in Paris.â
Then his eyes slide to you. âOh, and who is this?â he asks, extending a hand. âI donât believe weâve met. Are you with the Choi family?â
âAppa,â Karina interjects, her smile bright but the tendons in her neck are visibly tight. âThis is my good friend. We met at work.â
Her fatherâs eyebrows lift just a fraction as she tells him your name.
âIs that so?â he says, shaking your hand firmly. âA pleasure to meet you. And which firm do you represent?â
You open your mouth to construct a vague, impressive-sounding lie, but Karina beats you to it, her chin tilting up in that stubborn way she usually reserves for when Winter has something bad to say about you.
âHe works with us,â she says, confidently. âWith Minjeong.â
âMinjeong?â He looks at you again, searching for the luxury watch or the expensive cufflinks that would make this acceptable. He finds neither. âIn what capacity?â
âHeâs an intern. In Creative.â
The temperature around the table basically drops ten thousand degrees.
Her fatherâs smile doesnât vanish, but something dies in his eyes. He stares at you. Then at Karina. Then back at you. Itâs not even anger; itâs confusion, as if Karina has brought a stray dog to a dog show expecting it to win.
âAn intern,â he repeats.
At the next chair over, Winter pauses mid-sip of her water. Beside her, her ex leans back in his chair, watching the scene unfold like itâs his favorite sitcom.
âHeâs incredibly bright and talented,â Karina adds quickly, stepping slightly in front of you. âUncle loved his work on the holiday campaign. He personally approved the copy.â
âThe Chairman also loves the janitorial staff when the floors are clean,â her father counters, his voice dropping to a low, lethal register meant only for family ears. âThat does not mean he wants to eat dinner with them.â
âHeâs also done some greatââ
âJimin-ah, look around you.â He leans in closer to Karina, lowering his voice further. âFelix Lee is sitting three tables away. The heir to Enhypen Group and both of his brothers are all here and currently single. Of all the men in this roomâmen who own islands, men who could merge portfolios with oursâyou brought him?â
âI brought someone whose conversation and presence I actually enjoy,â she snaps back, quiet but sharp. âWould you prefer I bring Julian Kim so we can discuss his yacht insurance for three hours?â
âI would prefer you bring someone who doesnât depreciate your market value just by standing next to you,â her father hisses.
Her breath stutters. âMarket value?â
âThis is a statement, Jimin. And the statement you are making is that you do not take your future seriously.â
âAppa, he is my guest,â she says, voice shaking now. âIt would be incredibly rude to move him last minuteââ
âNo. It is rude,â her father corrects, âto seat staff next to the Chairman. It insults the board. And it insults me.â
Karina opens her mouth to argue like sheâs one sentence away from nuking her own inheritance, but you touch her arm lightly, silencing her.
Then you turn to her father and bow. Lower than youâve ever bowed before.
âYouâre absolutely right, Mr. Yoo,â you say, straightening up with a smile. âI wouldnât want to disrupt the seating arrangement. The head table is for family and partners.â
Her father blinks, clearly surprised by the lack of resistance.
âI apologize for the confusion,â you continue calmly. âIâll find a seat elsewhere. Please, enjoy your evening.â
His expression shifts from disdain to begrudging approval. He looks at you like a dog that has successfully learned to stay off the furniture.
âAt least he understands his place,â he mutters to Karina, then turns away, satisfied.
Winterâs ex chuckles softly, swirling his wine. Winter shoots him a glare, then her eyes flick back at you. Her expression is rather unreadable, but itâs definitely not happy. For once, you donât care enough to stick around to decode it.
Karina stares at you like youâd just slapped her. âWhy did youââ
âItâs fine,â you whisper, stepping back. âGo.â
You swallow any pride you have left and turn to walk away, straightening your spine as much as possible while resisting the urge to sprint to the nearest exist. You can literally feel a hundred eyes on your back like theyâre laser sights.
âJimin, sit down,â her father warns from behind you. âDo not chase him. Do not make a scene.â
You donât look back. You just focus on the marble pattern. Left foot, right foot. Donât trip, donât die in front of rich peopleâthey wonât mourn, theyâll think itâs inconvenient during dinnertime.
Then you hear itâthe scrape of a chair, and then the sharp, unmistakable sound of heels against the floor.
âYoo Jimin!â her father hisses.
You donât turn around, but the footsteps stop right behind you. You can hear her breathingâquick, shallow breaths that brush against the back of your neck.
âYouâre going to get disowned,â you say quietly, still facing forward. âIâve seen enough K-dramas to know how this ends.â
âLet him be mad,â she replies as her hand slips into yours.
Her palm is warm, fingers tightly threading through yours, like sheâs afraid you might disappear if she loosens her grip.
You quickly turn and pull her away behind a pillar, out of sight from all the eyes of VIPs, where the shadows feel safer.
âKarina, what are youââ
âIâm sorry,â she whispers, fierce and breathless. âI shouldnât have put you in that position.â Her eyes are huge and drowning in frustration. âAnd you shouldnât have apologized to him. You didnât do anything wrong.â
âI de-escalated,â you say quietly. âBesides, heâs right. I donât belong up there. I donât even know which fork is for the salad.â
âThe small one,â she answers without thinking. âAnd you belong where I am. I asked you to come here. So letâs find another table together.â
For a moment, the noise of the gala fades. Itâs just her, looking at you with those big, soft eyes, holding your hand like itâs the only anchor she has in a room full of sharks. Except you donât actually know how to swim here. Not in this ocean.
âListen,â you say, squeezing back. âGo back. Sit with him. Donât ruin your night because of me. We can talk later. Iâll text you snarky commentary on the award speeches.â
She searches your face, like sheâs memorizing it one last time. âPromise you wonât disappear at midnight?â
You force a smile. âPromise. My suit might expire and vaporize though.â
She hesitates. She looks at her fatherâs table, then back at you. Then she nods, squeezes your hand one last time, and lets go.
Then she slips away, back into the light. You stay where you are, watching her leave as the warmth of her touch fades from your skin.
âDepressing, isnât it? Trying to date fifty leagues upwards.â
You donât flinch. Itâs a law of physics at this point: Ningning somehow always appears at the right timeâespecially when it hurts most.
She slides next to you, right where Karinaâs warmth is fading. She doesnât care to even look at the dinner table. Sheâs staring at her phone, where a terrifying grin is illuminated by the blue light.
âCome with me,â she says, tugging your arm. âI have an update that will make you forget all about your newfound trauma, Romeo.â
You follow Ningning out of the ballroom, slipping between servers and clusters of executives who have snuck out to take calls. She leads you down a short hallway and ducks into a mostly empty side loungeâaside from a vase the size of a small child and a painting that looks more like a tax write-off than decor.
âOkay,â you say, leaning against the doorframe to block the view. âWhat did you do now?â
Ningningâs grin is sinister, like she had just ruined a life or two before coming to find you.
âI flirted with Winterâs ex by the bar during cocktail hour.â
âThat was the perimeter?â
She continues. âTurns out heâs extremely vulnerable to sustained eye contact, mild admiration, and a hot girl laughing at jokes that arenât funny. A real textbook case of narcissism.â
âThatâs not news. Thatâs his factory settings. And itâs probably every other guy here.â
âThatâs not all.â She reaches into her bag and pulls out a sleek, heavy-looking black pen. âYou see this?â she says, swirling it around her fingers like a magician.
You blink. âIs this your Catwoman debut? Stealing a pen?â
âI have a twin.â She taps her phone screen. An app opensâaudio levels dancing on a timeline. âSlipped the other one into his jacket pocket while he was distracted by my cleavage.â
You stare at her. âYou bugged him.â
âDonât make it sound so tacky.â She scrolls back on the timeline, humming a little tune. âAnyway, our boy had a very interesting chat immediately after I left. Take a wild guess with who.â
Your stomach tightens. âGiselle.â
âBingo.â She holds the phone up between you and presses play.
The audio is scratchy, but the voices are unmistakable despite all the crackles.
ââŠI told you to stop texting me during family events,â he says, clearly irritated. âYouâre going to make this harder than it has to be.â
âOh, Iâm making it harder?â she scoffs. âYouâre the one who talked me into this circus to begin with. Marry him, baby. Weâll bleed him slow, he wonât even feel it. That was you, by the way.â
You feel your stomach dip.
Ningning watches your reaction with delightâin the way that only someone who thrives on chaos can. âWait. It gets better. Or worse. Depends on your morals and how much you enjoy villain monologues, I guess.â
The recording rustlesâfabric shifting and the dull clink of glasses hitting a table.
Giselle exhales a laughâlower now, closer to the mic. Close enough that you can picture the angle of it. She must be right next to his jacket.
âAnd when you say disappear,â she says, âyou mean just us. Right? Not a family package deal.â
âObviously just us. You think I want to spend the rest of my life babysitting a neurotic ice cube and her control-freak father?â
âAnd if your little princess finds out you used her and her father?â Giselle asks. âSheâs not stupid. Like, at all. Sheâs actually terrifyingly sharp.â
âBut sheâs insecure,â he corrects. âThatâs even better than stupid. Insecure people are predictable. You tell them theyâre special, that you see the real them, and theyâll crawl over broken glass to keep that illusion alive.â
You feel your hand curl into a fist without your permission.
âAnd you donât feel⊠anything?â Giselle presses. âGuilt? Attachment? Youâve been with her for years.â
âAttachment?â He laughs. âTo what? A walking bundle of daddy issues who only relaxes when youâre telling her sheâs garbage? Sheâs a habit, not a person.â
Ningning quietly reaches over and pries your fingers open, thumb brushing your knuckles like sheâs un-crumpling paper.
âDonât break my phone,â she says mildly. âI need it to blackmail people.â
The recording continues.
âYouâre cruel,â Giselle says, but thereâs admiration in it.
âIâm resourceful,â he replies. âYou didnât fall in love with me because Iâm nice.â
Thereâs a pause. Then the wet, sharp sound of a kiss.
ââŠand youâre not exactly innocent either,â he murmurs against her mouth. âSleeping with the daughterâs boyfriend and then marrying the dad? Iconic.â
Giselle laughs, low and pleased. âFine. So I marry him, you keep stringing her along. And when weâre done?â
âWe cash out and go,â he says. âNew names, new passports, new everything. No board meetings, no quarterly reports, no Minjeong crying because I didnât text back in thirty minutes.â
âShe cries?â she asks, seemingly amused.
âConstantly. You tell her sheâs worthless during sex, she cries. You tell her sheâs only good as a stress toy, she cries. Then she comes harder than anyone youâve ever seen and thanks you for it. Itâs pathetic.â
Your chest physically hurts from anger.
âYou really think you can keep her in line forever?â Giselle says. âShe doesnât exactly look submissive out there.â
âThatâs the fun part. No one suspects the golden girl wants to be wrecked. Thatâs my advantage. Sheâs terrified someone else will see that side of her, so she keeps coming back to the only person who already has. Me.â
âAnd the hotel thing?â she asks after a moment. âYouâre sure thatâs not overkill?â
âRelax.â He chuckles. âI already set up cameras in one of the suites here. Sheâll think Iâm planning some kind of romantic getaway. Tonight Iâll get something usefulâfull face, tears, begging. Insurance. If anything goes wrong with this plan, I leak the videos and sheâs done. Her dad will throw her out of the boardroom so fast she wonât know what hit her.â
Your hands are shaking uncontrollably now. You knew he was low, but this is beneath the ground.
âGod, youâre awful,â she says.
âHereâs a second key. Meet me up there later tonight. Weâll⊠celebrate.â
Thereâs a longer rustle, a muffled sound thatâs unmistakably a kiss deepening.
Ningning taps her screen. The lounge drops back into silence, but the air feels toxic now.
âYou wanted the truth,â she says lightly, slipping the phone back into her bag. âThere it is. Uncut, unhinged, and deeply on brand for this companyâs taste in men.â
âThis has to be a prank,â you manage, rubbing a hand over your face. âSome sort of sick joke.â
You know it isnât. You just wish it was.
âLike I said. Heâs not just garbage. Heâs organized garbage. Thatâs the worst kind.â
You drag your hand through your hair. âSo we tell Winterâs dad. Or security. Orââ
âAnd say what?â she cuts in. âHi, Mr. Chairman, sir. We illegally recorded your future son-in-law and your future wife discussing how theyâre going to siphon your money and weaponize your daughterâs trauma.â
She scoffs. âHe will nuke us before he lets this get public. The man hates scandal more than he loves his own last name on the building.â
You hate how accurate that sounds. The Chairman would absolutely sign your death warrant to save the stock price.
âSo what do we do?â you ask, pressing your temples. âJust let it happen?â
âWe make sure his little insurance policy never exists,â she says casually. âNo sex tape, no leverage, no bargaining chip.â
You blink. âYou want to find the camera.â
âCorrect.â She checks her reflection in the darkened window. âHe said one of the suites. That means somewhere in this hotel.â
You lean back against the wall, brain trying to catch up. âAnd how are we supposed to find a hidden camera in a random suite during a gala, surrounded by a couple hundred witnesses and a small army of security?â
Ningningâs eyes glitter like this is her favorite part. âAnd that,â she sings, âis where your tragic emotional attachment to a girl who treats you like garbage comes in handy.â
You just stare.
She pats your chest twice, like sheâs testing structural integrity. âYou are going to keep Winter busy.â
Your heart stutters. âBusy how?â
âI donât know. Ask her how sheâs doing. That usually pisses her off.â
âSo you want me to annoy her.â
âFinally, a job youâre naturally gifted at,â she says with a smirk. âYour goal is to keep her downstairs, away from him. Meanwhile, Iâm going to go turn the charm up and stick to the ex like glue until heâs drunk enough or horny enough to flash his keycard. Then I steal it, and weâll have a room number and a key. Simple.â
Your brows furrow. âWhat? Thatâs not simple. Thatâsââ
âAnother Friday for me,â she says, shrugging. âOnce we have the key, you and I pay a discreet little visit to the love nest, rip out anything with a lens, and get out before he decides itâs showtime.â
âAnd if he drags her upstairs before weâre done?â you ask.
âThen we improvise. But regardless, he does not leave this building tonight with a camera full of leverage.â She opens her bag and pulls out a stick of lipgloss. âHe wants to turn this place into a cash cow? Dream on. Iâm not letting anyone milk this company but me.â
Youâre quiet for a moment, processing the sheer insanity of the plan.
She snaps her fingers in front of your face. âHey. Focus. Mission first, feelings later. Do not let Karinaâs eyes, hairâor tits distract you from keeping Winter occupied long enough for me to pull this off. Got it? You can go back to yearning after weâve defused the bomb.â
She straightens her dress, rolling her shoulders like a fighter before round two.
âAlright. Game time,â she murmurs, already moving toward the door. âGo irritate your favorite disaster. Iâll go flirt with hers.â
The ballroom feels even louder when you step back into it, as if the music and conversations have been cranked up to max volume just to mess with your head even further.
When dinner is over, Winter is exactly where you expect herânear the edge of a crowd, close to the exits, yet far from any real escape. Sheâs standing alone with a nearly-empty glass in hand and a posture screaming âapproach at your own risk.â
You take a deep breath and walk over.
She immediately sees you coming and exhales like the night has personally decided to test the last of her patience by sending you.
âShouldnât you be in the back with the other interns?â Winter asks, eyes flicking over your tux like sheâs surprised you even own one. âOr did they run out of napkins to fold?â
âYou mustâve missed the memo,â you say, stopping right in front of her. âI got promoted to Decorative Plant.â
She doesnât laugh, obviously. âCongratulations on the lateral move. Go photosynthesize somewhere else.â
âCanât,â you say sorrowfully. âItâs so much better over here next to this ball of sunshine.â
She sighs, a short, sharp exhale through her nose. âWhat do you want?â she asks, not looking at you. âI donât have time to babysit you.â
You couldâand probably shouldâgo with Ningningâs plan and start poking at sore spots, but the words that come out betray you.
âAre you doing okay?â you ask, quieter than you meant to.
There it isâthe smallest hitch in her expression. Her fingers tighten almost unnoticably around the stem of her glass.
She doesnât look at you when she answers. âDonât,â she huffs.
âDonât what?â
âDonât start. Youâre an intern, not my therapist.â
âIâm serious,â you say, lowering your voice further. âYou look miserable. Your dadâs parading you around like a trophy. Your ex isââ You stop yourself before you say something that canât be unsaid. âAre you okay?â
Winter finally looks at you. Her gaze lingers on your face like sheâs searching for an ulterior motive and hating that sheâs not finding one.
âThis is my life,â she says firmly. âThis is normal. I donât need concern from you.â
âYou donât want it,â you correct. âThereâs a difference.â
âWhy do you do this?â she snarls. âWhy do you always have to push? Canât you just take an order and walk away?â
âGod forbid someone actually gives a shit about you without asking for a stock option in return.â
Her mouth opens, then snaps shut. She stares at you, caught off guard by the sincerity in your voice. For a fleeting moment, sheâs neither Kim Minjeong nor Creative Director Winterâjust an overwhelmed, exhausted girl ready to fall apart.
âThis isnât the time and place,â she says, quickly gathering herself. âI have to survive tonight. Thatâs it. Thatâs the whole task.â
âItâs a gala, not a hostage situation.â
âIs there a difference?â Her eyes flash. âHas it ever occurred to you that nothing in my life is a celebration?â
âThen maybe you should change thatââ
Your phone suddenly buzzes in your pocket.
You quickly pull it out under the cover of your jacketâjust in case itâs Ningning giving you an update on your first official mission as Batman and Catwoman.
Winter, of course, notices right away. She notices everything. Except the knife currently being sharpened for her back.
Yoo Jimin:
hey human shield
kind of need you right now
theyâre tag-teaming me about a âstrategic marriageâ
if one more person says âtwo dynastiesâ iâm going to stab the dessert table
You glance over. Sure enough, Karina is across the room, surrounded by a semi-circle of men in suits who look like they learned how to flirt from tech entrepreneurs.
But then you remember Ningningâs warningâmission first, yearning laterâand shove the phone away before you can do something stupid, like go save her.
âSorry,â you say, putting it back in your pocket. âIâm supposed to be somewhere right now.â
âWhere? Holding hands with the Head of Design in front of the board?â
You freeze. âI wasnât holding hands. She grabbed me.â
âAnd you let her.â Her eyes narrow. âYou looked like a lost puppy she picked up at the shelter to annoy her father. It was embarrassing.â
You tilt your head. âAre you jealous, Ms. Kim?â
The question slips out before you can stop it. Itâs reckless. Itâs stupid. But itâs exactly what Ningning told you to do: keep her busy.
Winter freezes. For a second, you think she might actually throw her drink in your face.
âJealous?â she repeats. âOver what? An intern who canât even tie his own bowtie properly?â
She reaches out, her fingers brushing your throat as she fixes the knot. The brief contact sends a jolt of something straight through your body.
âI donât get jealous over things I own,â she whispers, staring up at you through her lashes. âI get annoyed when theyâre misplaced.â
Your breath hitches. âI wasnât aware I was still your property.â
âCheck your contract,â she says, mindlessly fixing your collar now. âYou belong to my department. That means you donât go running off to play Prince Charming for my cousin just because she smiled at you.â
âShe needed a plus-one.â
âShe needed a prop,â Winter corrects, eyes snapping back up to lock with yours. âDonât tell me you think the great prodigy Yoo Jimin didnât predict exactly how that played out earlier. She didnât bring you there because she enjoys your conversations. Youâre just a tool she used to flip off her dad so that he would be too mad to introduce her to any more of his friendsâ sons. And youâre so eager to be used, arenât you? As long as the person using you is pretty enough.â
âStrange coming from the person who calls me at 2am because she forgot her next-day presentation material.â
Her nostrils flare. âYou choose to answer.â
âYeah. I do. Guess why,â you say, instantly regretting it.
She freezes for a second, but then ignores it completely. âI call you because as much as I hate to admit it, you get things done.â
You scoff. âJust last week you told me that my very existence was an HR violation.â
âIt is,â she says, fixing a strand of hair falling over your face with an annoyed look. âBut tonight, youâre seemingly determined to be a PR violation, too.â
You catch her wrist before she can pull away. Her warmth is nostalgic, and her pulse dances under your thumb.
You turn to the bar, where the ex is standing next to Giselle, bodies angled toward each other like magnets. Ningning is already there, squeezing herself between their conversation, laughing at something heâs said that youâre certain isnât funny.
Winter stares at them and then back at youâfurious, but just so painfully beautiful. For a fleeting moment, everything around you blurs away. Itâs just her, looking at you like she wants to either slap you or kiss you.
âYou are infuriating,â she says, pulling her arm out your grip. âWorry about your own love life.â
Your phone buzzes again.
Winterâs eyes flick to your pocket. âPopular tonight. Jimin unnie again? Asking you to come save her from a conversation about golf?â
Yoo Jimin:
theyâre bringing up golf metaphors now
this is a cry for help
Ningningâs voice is loud in your head: Mission first, feelings later. Do not let Karina distract you.
You swallow, lock the screen, and then turn back at Winter. âShe does hate golf.â
âGo then,â she says, waving a hand dismissively. âGo be her hero. Go wag your little tail.â
âNo, I think Iâll stay,â you say, leaning against the wall. âThe view is better here.â
Winter blinks. âYouâre such an idiot,â she mutters, looking away, though the corner of her mouth fights a losing battle against a smile.
âAnd youâre out of wine,â you say, nodding at her drink.
âPatience, too, soon,â she murmurs, biting her bottom lip as if trying not to laugh.
âLetâs get you another glass before that happens then.â
She hands you her glass. âYouâre going to play fetch for me even off the clock?â
âIâll check my contract again later.â
As you walk away, your phone buzzes again. You donât even look this time.
Youâre just about to signal the bartenderâjust about to lean in and cement the distractionâwhen a frantic voice cuts in.
âDirector! Director Kim!â
Itâs Manager Yoon, Winterâs personal assistant. Sheâs a tiny woman who always looks like sheâs five minutes away from a nervous breakdown, permanently clutching a tablet to her chest like a shield.
Winter stiffens instantly, the playful anger vanishing. âYes?â
âThe Chairman is asking for you,â her assistant says, not even looking at you. âPresident Jang from IVE Corp has just arrived.â
Winterâs mask slams back into place, sealing away the girl who was just blushing at you. She lets out a short, sharp exhale through her nose. âOf course. Iâll be right there.â
Manager Yoon nods fervently and scurries off to clear the path.
Winter hesitates. She looks at the bar, then back at you. For a split second, her shoulders slumpâlike a kid being dragged away from the playground.
Yoo Jimin: you owe me a dance later
--
âMission status?â
Ningning has a new drink in hand. Her lipstick is slightly smudged in a way that feels absolutely intentional, and her eyes are bright with the adrenaline of a cat that just knocked a vase off a shelf on purpose.
âSheâs staying downstairs,â you say, keeping your voice low. âFor now.â
âExcellent,â she purrs. âBecause phase two is officially a go.â
Ningning lifts her bag just enough for you to see the thin rectangle tucked between her manicured fingers.
A hotel keycard.
âYou actually got it,â you breathe, staring at it like itâs a loaded gun. âYouâre insane, Ning.â
âPlease. Heâs tragically predictable. Compliment his tie, laugh at his joke, touch his armâheâll show you his portfolio, his room number, even his childhood trauma if you give him ten minutes.â She tilts her head. âGiselle helped, actually.â
You blink. âHow?â
âIronically, she doesnât like sharing,â she says, amused. âShe saw me getting too close and dragged him into the hallway to mark her territory. He got distracted trying to calm her down, tossed his jacket on a chair⊠and, well, you can guess the rest.â
Your stomach twists. âAnd you said theyâre meeting later?â
âIn that same room.â She taps the sharp corner of the card against your chest. âWhich means we have a very narrow window to sanitize the crime scene. So suit up and letâs go.â
âRight now?â you ask, pulse jumping.
She rolls her eyes. âYes, right now. We go up, we sweep the room, we steal anything with a lens or a blinking light, and we get out before anyone realizes their little porn set has been shut down.â
âIf someone notices weâre goneââ you start.
âThey wonât,â Ningning says confidently. âWeâre interns. We are, tragically, forgettable. Thatâs exactly why only we can do this.â She pauses. âUnless youâd rather stay here and keep making moony eyes at Tits and Waist while they both ignore you for rich men.â
âFine.â You exhale, turning your back on the ballroom. âLead the way, partner.â
âI love it when you let me take charge,â she coos, looping her arm through yours and steering you toward the side corridor.
The elevator doors slide open on a carpeted hallway that smells like a very expensive air freshener. Everything is quiet and mutedâbasically the opposite of the chaos downstairs.
Ningning leads the way, counting room numbers under her breath until she stops in front of one that matches whatâs on the keycard sleeve.
âHere,â she whispers. âThis one.â
You both stand there for a second, listening. No voices. No movement.
âOkay, last chance to bail,â she says, voice barely audible. âWe can go back, pretend we never heard anything, and just let this place implode on schedule.â
âYouâre trying to talk me out of this now?â you ask, shivering despite your suit jacket.
âNot really. I just like giving people the illusion of choice.â She turns to the door. âReady?â
You sigh one last time. âNot even a little.â
âToo late, Batboy,â she replies, and swipes the card.
The lock clicks. She pushes the door open, and the two of you step into the suite.
The room is immaculate. Too immaculate, even by five-star hotel standards. Bed made, pillows fluffed, a bottle of champagne on ice waiting patiently on the table.
âGod, how tacky,â Ningning mutters, walking over to the ice bucket. She picks up the bottle, inspects the label, and sneers. âWho buys MoĂ«t for a blackmail scheme? At least go for Dom if youâre going to ruin someoneâs life.â
You walk to the giant windows of the corner suite. The view of the city is breathtaking, but the reflection in the glass just shows two interns in over their heads, moonlighting as vigilantes.
âAlright, time to find those cameras,â you say, taking a deep breath.
You start with the obvious places, immediately moving to the dresser mirror, squinting at the frame.
Ningning, however, isnât searching for lenses. Instead, she opens the wardrobe door, then checks under the bed, then opens the door to a large walk-in closet near the bathroom like sheâs checking out the place for herself.
âNing! Come on. Theyâll be here any minute.â
âRelax, we have time,â she says, dropping her bag on the desk. She wanders toward the bathroom, then pivots to a large set of double doors. âHeâs probably stuck in the elevator making small talk with a crypto bro.â
She opens the doors. âOh hello, whatâs this?â
âWhat are you doing?â you hiss, running your finger along the vanity lights.
âLooking for a hidey-hole just in case,â she replies, stepping inside the walk-in closet. âThis oneâs huge. Good acoustics, too.â
âNing, focusââ
Beep. Click.
The sound of a keycard on the door cuts you off like a gunshot.
You freeze, your hand still hovering over the desk lamp.
Ningning stops mid-twirl. âShit!â she hisses.
She lunges out, grabs your arm, and yanks both you and her handbag into the darkness of the walk-in closet just as the suite door swings open.
You stumble in, tripping over a rack of hotel robes, and she pulls the door shut. The space is surprisingly largeâdeep enough for luggage racks and a full-length mirrorâbut right now, pressed against Ningning in the dark, it feels suffocatingly intimate. You can smell her floral perfume clearly as her neck presses against your face. For a split second, you realize how much you miss her scent.
Through the slats of the door, you see two figures enter.
Itâs the ex and Giselle.
âI told you, I lost mine,â he says, voice smooth and irritated. He walks straight to the minibar and pours himself a glass of whiskey. âI must have dropped it when I was talking to the investors.â
âYouâre so careless,â Giselle snaps, sounding different than she did in the lobbyâless confident, more anxious. âIf the Chairman sees me up hereââ
âHe wonât,â he says, taking a sip. âHeâs busy showing off his perfect daughter to the IVE execs. That meeting will take twenty minutes, minimum.â
âI donât know if I like this,â she says, hugging her arms. âMinjeong isnât stupid. If she sees a cameraââ
âShe wonât see anything,â he laughs, setting the glass down. âI put them in the blind spots.â
âWhat blind spots?â
He walks over to the desk. âOne here in the floral arrangement,â he says, tapping the large vase. âCatches the entry, the bed, and the conversation. Audio is crisp, too.â
Giselle watches him with a look of distaste. âAnd the other one?â
He turns, pointing up toward the ceiling, directly above the pristine white bed.
âSmoke detector,â he says with a grin. âTop-down view. Catches everything on the mattress.â
She follows his gaze to the bed, at the crisp white sheets, the fluffed pillows, the perfect stage heâs set so carefully.
âYou sure went through a lot of trouble,â she scoffs.
He shrugs. âPresentation is everything. If the set looks cheap, the star wonât perform.â
âThe star,â she repeats bitterly. She crosses her arms, still staring at the pillows. âYouâre enjoying this, arenât you? Youâre not just doing this for leverage. You actually want to fuck her.â
He pauses, then sets the glass down and looks at her.
âUh oh,â he purrs, taking a step toward her. âSomeoneâs jealous.â
âI am notââ
âYou are,â he interrupts, closing the distance. âYouâre mad that Iâm going to fuck Minjeongâs brains out in this room, on that bed, while you go back downstairs and play trophy wife for her middle-aged father.â
Giselle flinches, but she doesnât back away.
âCome here.â He grabs her waist and pulls her flush against him.
She lets out a small gasp, gripping his jacket. âWhat are youââ
He kisses her neck, and she melts into it instantly.
âYouâre the biggest asshole I know.â She starts to pull him backward, toward the pristine white mattress.
âAh-ah,â he says, stopping her cold.
He holds her in place, his grip tightening on her waist. âNot the bed,â he says, his voice dropping. âI need those sheets fresh for Minjeong later.â
Giselle freezes. For a second, you think she might slap him.
âI hate that bitch so much,â she breathes, her eyes oozing with resentment.
âDonât worry,â he says, snickering. âItâll be all worth it soon, babe.â
He spins her around, slamming her against the wall next to the closet doorâinches from where you and Ningning are hiding. The impact rattles the hinges, sending a vibration straight through your shoulder where youâre pressed against the wood.
âLift it,â he orders. âShow me that slutty little pussy of yours.â
Giselle stands frozen for a second with her back to him, staring at the wall next to the closet door. You can see her reflection in the full-length mirrorâher eyes are wide and filled with an undeniable want.
She reaches down. Her hands shake visibly as she bunches the fabric of her dress up around her waist.
âGod, youâre easy,â he mutters, shaking his head with a smirk that you can hear in his voice. âYou were wet the second you walked in the door, werenât you?â
He hooks his fingers into the delicate fabric of her panties, yanking it aside without bothering to take them off. The sound of the elastic snapping against her skin feels extra loud in the quiet room.
Giselle lets out a sharp yelp as he drops to his knees behind her. His hands slide up her smooth thighs, gripping her hips to hold her in place, digging into the soft, jiggling flesh.
âPlease,â she whimpers, pressing her forehead against the wall. âDo it. Iâve missed you so muchââ
He laughs, a muffled sound against her thigh. âYou know I donât even do this for Minjeong. She doesnât like it. Probably thinks sheâs too pristine to have her pussy licked.â
Ningningâs head tilts ever so slightly, and amidst the storm surging on the other side of that door, you find a tiny sliver of peace in knowing how completely wrong that statement is.
Giselle shudders, her fingers digging into the wallpaper. âStop talking about her.â
He chuckles and runs his tongue up the back of her thigh slowly, teasing the very edge of her slit but refusing to give her what she wants yet.
âTell me, Aeri,â he taunts. âDoes the great Chairman Kim ever get on his knees for you?â
âShut up,â she gasps, her hips twitching involuntarily, trying to chase his mouth.
He pulls back, denying her again. âDoes he even look at you when he fucks you? Or does he just close his eyes and think about his dead wife while he pumps into you for two minutes?â
âStop it!â she cries, but she doesnât move away. Instead, she presses back against him even more.
âHe doesnât eat you out, does he? He probably thinks itâs beneath him. A man of his status, slobbering over a trophy wife?â
He finally buries his face between her legs, slurping her with a hunger that sounds almost violent. Itâs not even affectionate; itâs a demonstration of ownership.
Giselleâs knees buckle. She has to brace her hands wider against the wall to even stay upright while her head is involuntarily falling back.
âOh god,â she moans, biting her own lip to keep the volume down. âGodâitâs been so longââ
âI know,â he murmurs against her, not stopping. âYouâre starving. Youâre dripping down my chin because your future husband is useless.â
He works her relentlessly, finding the rhythm that breaks her composure. Low, broken moans escape her throat while her hips grind back against his face.
Inside the closet, Ningning is frozen. Sheâs not looking awayâher eyes are fixed on the sliver of lights in front of you as her hand finds yours in the dark, squeezing hard. Her body is so close to yours now that you can feel the heat radiating off her skin as she continues watching.
Outside, the ex pulls back suddenly, right before Giselle reaches her climax, causing her to let out a frustrated whimper as she slumps against the wall.
âLook at you,â he says, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he stands up. âYou act like a lady downstairs, but up here, youâre just a little slut.â
âCome on,â she begs. âJust fuck me already. Please.â
âSo impatient. Are you sure you can even play the long game?â
He undoes his belt and immediately grips her hips, thumbs digging into her flesh.
âSay please,â he teases.
âPleââ
He suddenly thrusts into her from behind, hard and without warning.
She cries outâa sharp, high sound that is immediately muffled as her face hits the wall.
âSo good,â she cries, eyes rolling back. âOh god, it feels so good.â
âDoes he do this?â he sneers, slapping her ass. âDoes the Chairman fuck you like this?â
âNo!â she wails, shaking her head frantically. âNo, he could never!â
âHeâs too old, isnât he?â He laughs. âDoes he even get it up?â
âHeâs useless!â she groans. âI hate it. I hate him. Please⊠please donât stop.â
âYou starved little bitch,â he growls, driving deeper. âYouâre so desperate for a working cock youâre letting your future stepdaughterâs boyfriend use you like a toy.â
âI donât care,â she gasps, drool slipping from the corner of her mouth. âJust fuck me. Fill me up. Iâm so empty all the time without your cock.â
âYouâre such a cock-thirsty slut, Aeri. Lucky for you⊠I like them extra slutty.â
He continues to fuck her hard against the wall with a brutal pace, every thrust shaking the door frame youâre leaning against.
She takes it obediently, her head falling back. âIs this⊠is this how you fuck her?â she gasps.
âThatâs what youâre worried about right now?â He drives deeper, making her toes curl on the carpet. âHow I fuck my girlfriend?â
âTell me,â she begs, her voice trembling. âDo you fuck her like this?â
âNo,â he says, leaning in to whisper in her ear. âI donât. Not like this. Because Minjeong isnât a desperate whore like you.â
She lets out a wounded sound, half-sob, half-moan, as his words sink in deeper than his thrusts.
âTurn around,â he commands abruptly, pulling out.
Giselle stumbles as she turns, her face completely flushed, eyes wet with a toxic mix of humiliation and lust.
He grabs her right leg, pulling it high over his hip until sheâs balanced on one foot.
Then he thrusts back into her from the front, burying himself deep. She gasps, her head knocking back against the wall, nails digging into his shoulders to stay upright.
âLook at me,â he growls, grabbing her chin and forcing her to look him in the eye while he pumps into her. âAdmit it. Youâre jealous of Minjeong.â
âIâm notââ she starts, but a hard thrust cuts her off.
âYou are.â He slaps her cheek lightly. âYouâre jealous that sheâs younger, prettier, and smarter. Youâre jealous that sheâs the real heiress and youâre just the replacement wife. Isnât that right?â
âYes,â she breathes, her hips snapping forward to meet him, unable to fight it anymore. âYes, I am.â
âSay it properly,â he demands, increasing the pace until sheâs gasping for air. âTell me how much you hate it.â
âIâm jealous of her, okay?â she wails, the confession tearing out of her. âI feel so inferior next to her! She has everything. Even back then, when we were classmates, she always got better grades and had more friends. And now⊠she even has you.â
âThatâs right,â he says, grinning as he watches her break. âShe has me. And do you want to know the difference, Aeri? Do you want to know why sheâll always win?â
âTell me,â she whispers, eyes rolling back.
He leans in, lips brushing her ear. âBecause sheâs so nice and tight,â he growls. âHer pussyâs basically made for my cock. And sheâs got that tiny body that feels like fucking heaven in my hands. Mm, that little snatched waist⊠those slender legs that she wraps around me when she begs me not to pull out. It drives me crazy. It makes me fuck her so hard that she passes out sometimes.â
Giselle sobs openly now, tears streaming down her face.
âAnd tonight?â he continues, relentless. âTonight Iâm going to make her beg. Iâm going to tie her to that headboard with her own panties. Iâm going to edge her until sheâs crying, until sheâs completely broken, and then Iâm going to record every second of her pleading for my cock.â
He pulls back to look at her faceâat the absolute devastation heâs caused.
âYouâre just my cum dumpster, Aeri. Sheâs the real prize. Do you understand now?â
âI hate her!â Giselle cries, clinging to him like heâs the only thing keeping her standing. âI hate her so much!â
âGood,â he snickers. âYou should. Youâll never be her.â
He gives her a few more punishing, deep thrusts, watching the light go out of her eyes as she surrenders to the jealousy ripping her apart. Then, abruptly, he pulls out.
âNow,â he says, stepping back and looking down at her. âShow me you know your place. On your knees.â
Giselle slides slowly down the wall until her knees hit the floor. She looks up at himânot with love, but with a pathetic devotion.
âFinish me off,â he orders, tangling one hand into her hair and tilting her head back. âI want to be empty so I can last all night with her.â
She doesnât even react. Sheâs past the point of pride.
âAll night?â she whispers, her voice trembling. âWhat are you going to do all night?â
âIâm going to make sure she remembers who owns her,â he says, staring at the ceiling as if visualizing it. âAnd youâre going to help me get ready for it.â
He presses his thumb against her bottom lip, dragging it down. âOpen.â
She opens her mouth, and he pushes himself into her, forcing her to take him deep.
âThatâs it,â he murmurs, watching himself in the mirror. âTake it. All of it.â
The only sounds in the room are the wet, rhythmic noise of her obedience and his heavy breathing. She works harder, sucking with a frantic intensity, as if trying to prove sheâs worth something.
âSwallow it,â he commands suddenly, his hips snapping forward, voice straining. âDonât you dare spill a drop. I want to be clean for Minjeong.â
She makes a choked sound and bobs her head faster, taking him all the way down as he releases into her mouth with a loud groan. He holds her head in place, fingers tightening in her hair.
She stays on her knees for a moment, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, looking up at him like a dog waiting for a treat.
âGood girl,â he says, patting her cheek lightly. âNow go fix your face. You have a party to get back to.â
--
The room falls into a heavy, deafening silence as the door finally closes behind them.
âJesus,â Ningning breathes, stepping out into the suite, fanning herself with her hand. She immediately walks to the mirror, checking her hair. âI really need another drink after that.â
âA drink and maybe a priest.â You stumble out after her, legs stiff. âBut first, we need to find those cameras and get the hell out of here.â
âRightâcameras,â she says, snapping into focus.
You grab a chair from the desk and drag it to the center of the room. âIâll get the one up here.â
You climb up, unscrewing the smoke detector cover. Sure enough, thereâs a small black square taped inside, just as he brag.
âFound it,â you say, yanking it out.
Ningning is already at the desk, digging through the flowers. âFound the other one. Whatâs with villains and exposing all their secrets when they think no oneâs listening?â
She pulls the tiny device out and holds it up to the light.
âCheck it out,â she says, tossing it to you. âItâs just a camera. No transmitter.â
You catch it and look closely. Sheâs right. Itâs a local storage unitârecording to a micro-SD card.
âHeâs not streaming or saving it anywhere,â you realize. âJust recording it physically. Either doesnât trust the hotel Wi-Fi or too cheap to pay for cloud subscription.â
âWhich means that if we take these, he has nothing. No backup either. Just an empty slot where his 720p blackmail porn used to be.â
She pops the SD card out of her unit and slips it into her bra. You stare at her.
âWhat?â she hums. âWe need it. For leverage.â
You roll your eyes and pocket the other camera. âOkay, letâs get out of here.â
The only thing stopping your celebration is the sound of footsteps and chatter in the hallway. Multiple.
You freeze.
âWhat the actual hell?â Ningning hisses. âAlready?â
Beep. Click.
The lock engages.
âItâs only been like ten minutesââ
You grab Ningningâs hand and dive back toward the walk-in closet just as the handle turns, tripping over your own shoes and practically throwing her into the bathrobes just as the handle turns.
âCome on, Minjeongie,â the ex says sweetlyâa completely different tone from how he spoke to Giselle. âDonât be like that. Julian flew all the way from London just to see us.â
âNo. Absolutely not,â Winter says. âYou didnât say anything aboutââ
âI wanted it to be a surprise,â he cuts in. âWe talked about this, Minjeong. Remember? You said you wanted to try it again.â
âI meant with another stranger,â she says, glancing nervously at the guy named Julian. âAnd somewhere in Europe, not down the street from my house with my entire family and company downstairs.â
âYou trust me, donât you?â He steps closer, stroking her arm. âJulian is a friend, yes. But he knows the rules. He knows who you belong to. Itâs less messy that way. Besides, donât pretend you donât remember Berlin. You werenât exactly shy with him then. You made out with him months before we even met.â
âIt was at a party,â she argues weakly. âAnd we were drunk.â
âWe can be drunk now,â he counters, eyeing the bottle of wine on the table. âOr we can just be honest. You liked it last time, Minjeong. You liked having two pairs of hands on you. You liked not knowing who was touching you.â
Julian smiles, leaning against the doorframe, loosening his tie. âListen, Iâm just here to help, Minjeong. Itâs been a while since we all hung out like this. And honestly, after the way your cousin shot me down downstairs, I could use a little comforting.â
Winter blinks. âJimin unnie rejected you?â
âBrutally,â Julian sighs, walking over to pour himself a drink. âLooked at me like I was a smudge on her glasses. Gave me some speech about boundaries and professionalism, but you could see it in her eyes. She thinks sheâs above everyone.â
He takes a sip, grimacing.
âShe acts like this perfect, untouchable saint,â he sneers, turning back to Winter. âBut you know what I think? I think sheâs broken. I think underneath that act, sheâs hollow. Empty. Not like you, Minjeong.â
âYouâre real,â he says, stepping closer. âYoo Jimin is just a mannequin. A perfect little doll for the shareholders to look at. But you? Youâre a woman.â
Winter looks between them. The frustration is there, but so is something elseâa twisted curiosity, a lingering exhaustion, and an undeniable spark of competitiveness.
âI canât,â she whispers. âIf anyone finds outâŠâ
âNo one will know,â her ex says, guiding her hands to his waist. âJust us. Just for an hour. Minjeongâlook at me. Youâre vibrating. Youâre going to snap down there if you donât let go.â
He leans in, whispering directly into her ear. âArenât you tired? Tired of your father comparing you and Jimin to Jang Wonyoung and An Yujin? Tired of being asked why Aespa Group continues to fall short to IVE Corp?â
Winterâs eyes squeeze shut. Her resistance is visibly crumbling before them.
âYou donât have to be the perfect daughter in here,â he continues. âYou donât have to be the future CEO of anyoneâs legacy. You can just be⊠a body. A toy. No decisions. No responsibilities.â
She shudders. You see the fight drain out of her shoulders through the slats of the closet door. She lets out a long, shaky breath that sounds like a surrender.
âAdmit it,â he murmurs triumphantly. âYou need this. You need to stop thinking tonight.â
âI justâŠâ She swallows hard, voice trembling. âI just want it to be quiet. I want my brain to stop.â
âWe can make you forget about everything,â Julian says softly, moving closer to circle her like a shark. âWe can make everything else disappear.â
âThatâs right.â Her ex kisses her forehead. âJust be a good girl and let us take care of you.â
He slides his hands down her body, cupping her ass through the fabric, squeezing it firmly.
Winter gasps loudly, her head falling back against his shoulder.
âYou like this, donât you?â he murmurs against her ear. âYou like how good it feels when you stop fighting.â
He spins her around before she can answer, pushing her right into his friend. He catches her easily, one hand on her waist, the other coming up to cup her jaw.
âItâs been years,â Julian says, his thumb brushing her lower lip. âDo you remember how I taste, Minjeong?â
Winter looks up at him, her eyes hazy. The fight is gone. âYes,â she whispers. âI remember.â
âProve it,â he growls.
He crashes his mouth onto hers. Itâs not a gentle kiss. Winter makes a small, desperate sound in her throat and grabs his shirt, pulling him closer, kissing him back with a hunger that surprises even him.
Her ex laughs, a low, satisfied sound, and kisses down the side of her neck while sheâs occupied. âThere she is,â he purrs. âThe real Kim Minjeong.â
When Julian finally pulls back, Winter is breathless. She looks defeated already, and they havenât even taken her clothes off.
âPlease,â she begs, looking between them. âDo it. Use me.â
âAre you sure?â he asks condescendingly.
âYes, Iâm sure,â she breathes. âPlease.â
Her ex smiles and reaches for the zipper of her dress. She doesnât even flinch now. She leans into his touch, eyes fluttering shut, surrendering completely.
In the closet, you lunge forward. You canât help it. The sight of them touching herâafter what he just did to Giselle, after everything. Ningning immediately slams her body weight against you, pinning you to the back wall and clamps her hand over your mouth, her nails digging into your cheek.
âDonât,â she mouths, shaking her head. âYou canât.â
Outside, the white dress is already on the floor. Winter stands in just her lingerie, completely exposed.
âBeautiful,â Julian murmurs, eyeing her like a product at the market. âJust so fucking beautiful.â
âShe loves being looked at,â the ex says, guiding her toward the bed. âDonât you, Minjeong? Youâve missed this.â
âCanât you at least turn off the lights?â Winter swallows, looking away. âItâs too bright in here. â
âI have an even better idea,â her ex says smoothly.
He reaches into his pocketâor maybe he grabs a tie from the dresser, you canât tell from the angleâand produces a strip of black silk.
âLetâs turn everything off Minjeongie, including your eyes.â
He ties the blindfold around her head, securing it tight. The moment her vision is gone, her posture changes. The tension in her shoulders drops. She lets out a long exhale, finally surrendering to the dark.
âBetter?â he asks, running his hands down her bare arms.
âYes,â she says, tilting her head back against his chest. âMuch better.â
âGood,â he grins at Julian over her shoulder. âNow⊠letâs see if we can make you forget your name.â
âKneel,â the other commands softly.
Winter sinks to the plush carpet, her knees hitting the floor with a soft thud.
She tilts her head up, seeking them out, her lips parted. âWhere are you?â she whispers.
You hear the sound of zippers. Two of them.
âRight here,â her ex says, stepping in front of her.
He doesnât wait. He presses the head of his cock against her lips, and she opens instantly, taking him in with a desperate obedience.
âGod,â he groans, his hand tangling in her hair. âYouâre so eager tonight.â
She takes him all the way in, wrapping her lips around his flesh as if sheâd been waiting all night.
âThatâs it,â he breathes. âSuch a good girl.â
She pulls off with a wet pop, gasping for air. âBoth,â she demands. âI want both.â
âWhat a greedy girl,â Julian laughs. âTurn your head.â
She obeys blindly, turning her face to the side. He steps in, guiding himself into her mouth while her ex moves to her other side.
âLook at her,â the ex says, running his hand down her throat, tracing the movement as she swallows Julian down. âLook how perfectly she takes it. Youâd never know she was the Chairmanâs daughter right now, would you?â
âSheâs a natural,â Julian agrees, thrusting into her mouth. âYou like this, Minjeong? You like being used like this?â
âMmph,â she moans, her hand coming up to stroke her exâs length since her mouth is occupied.
âUse your words later,â he says, guiding his cock to her lips as Julian pulls back for a breath. âRight now, just keep your mouth open.â
She switches back and forth between themâlicking, sucking, bobbing her head. The sounds of their pleasure and her wet, needy noises fill the room, suffocating you and Ningning in their intensity.
âThatâs it,â Julian teases, slapping her cheek lightly. âMake me forget about your cousin.â
At the mere mention of Karina, Winter seems to work harder. Her throat tightens, her pace increasing as if sheâs trying to suck the very thought of her perfect cousin out of him.
âOn the bed now,â her ex commands. âOn your knees.â
Winter lets go of their throbbing shafts and obediently climbs onto the mattress like a starved puppy. The white sheets nearly blend in with her skin as she positions herself exactly as toldâhead bowed, back arched, legs spread, ass up.
The ex grabs Winterâs hair, pulling her head back. âTell him what you are.â
âI-Iâm a toy,â she says, voice trembling.
âAnd?â
âAnd I want you to use me,â she chokes out. âPlease. Both of you. Do whatever you want to me. Iâm yours. All yours.â
The sounds that follow are gut wrenching. The rustle of clothes, the heavy breathing of the two men, and Winterâs soft, broken gasps as they use her, passing her between them like sheâs something they bought together.
In the closet, youâre vibrating with anger and violence. You are going to kill them. You are going to tear the door off its hinges andâ
Ningning kisses you.
Itâs not romantic. At all. Itâs a distraction, and fortunately, itâs a really good one.
She crushes her mouth against yours, biting your lip hard, grabbing your hand and forcing it between her legs before grinding against you with a desperation that mirrors the chaos outside.
âFocus on me,â she whispers against your mouth, eyes wild. âHate-fuck me if you have to. But do not open that door or weâre both screwed.â
You try to obey, but the sounds from the bedroom arenât just audibleâtheyâre overwhelming.
âThatâs it,â Julianâs voice drifts in, low and encouraging. âTake it all, Minjeong. Show me how good you can be.â
âSheâs such a good whore,â the ex laughs. âArenât you, babe? This is what you were made for. Not spreadsheets. Not meetings. Just this.â
You press your eye to the gap in the closet door. You shouldnât, but your body moves on its own.
Winter is on all fours on the bed, completely stripped of her lingerie, with Julianâs cock buried in her mouth while the ex kneels behind her, running his hands over her body as sheâs leaning into them, desperate for more.
âLook at her,â the ex says, squeezing her ass firmly. âThe Chairmanâs precious daughter. On her knees where she belongs. Completely dripping wet while two men have their way with her.â
âDeeper,â Julian commands gently but firmly, hand in her hair. âI know you can take more. Youâre doing so well.â
Ningning yanks your face back to hers, her nails biting into your jaw.
âEyes on me,â she hisses. âDonât watch or elseââ
She doesnât even finish the threat. She shoves her panties down and hikes her dress up, backing you against the hanging suits.
âFuck me,â she orders. âRight now.â
You fumble with your zipper, hands shaking not from fear, but from fury. Outside, the bedsprings start their rhythmic creak.
âGod, sheâs so fucking tight. Thereâs really nobody like you, Minjeong.â
âYou miss taking two cocks at once, donât you? You wanted this.â
âYes,â Winter moans, the word muffled. âPleaseââ
âPlease what? Tell us what you want.â
âPlease keep using my pussy,â she sobs. âI need it. I need you to use me.â
You slam into Ningningâhard. She almost cries out, her back hitting the wall of suits with a light thud, but she clamps a hand over her own mouth just in time.
âJust like that,â Ningning breathes against her palm, her eyes locking onto yours. âDonât think about her. Focus on me.â
You grab her hips, digging your fingers in, and thrust into her with a force that shakes the rack of clothes.
But you still look back at the slats. You donât even know why. Youâre not hers, and sheâs certainly not yoursâyouâre just the intern she tolerates at best. But watching her surrender like this, dismantling herself piece by piece just to escape her own head, breaks something inside you. Itâs a frustrating, irrational pullâa sudden, desperate need to step in and shield her from the very thing sheâs begging for.
The ex has Winter bent over now, face pressed into the mattress. Heâs pounding into her from behind while his friend feeds her his cock from the front, both of them using her like sheâs nothing but holes.
âYou love being spit-roasted, huh?â the ex asks, leaning down to bite her shoulder. âTell him, Minjeong. Tell him how much you love having both ends filled.â
âI love it,â Winter chokes out around Julianâs length. âI love being your fucktoy.â
âThatâs right, babe. No thinking. Just feeling. Just a pretty little toy for us to play with until weâre satisfied. Thatâs all youâre good for.â
âPlease,â she wails. âPlease, Iâm closeâI canâtâIâm gonna comeââ
âDonât you dare cum yet,â Julian commands, thrusting deeper into her mouth. âNot until we say so.â
âAahânoâIâm sorryâIâm comingââ
Thereâs laughter. âI wonder what would daddy think if he saw his little princess like this? Getting used like a whore in a hotel room while the board drinks champagne downstairs?â
Winter screams around Julianâs cock, her body convulsing violently, thighs trembling uncontrollably against the exâs hips as she screams and sobs through the orgasm.
Rage boils over you. You grab Ningningâs hair, pulling her head back just like the ex is doing to Winter.
âIs this what you want?â you growl into her ear. âTo be used like her?â
âYes,â Ningning whimpers, biting her lip. âRuin me. Pretend youâre hate-fucking her. I know youâre so mad right now.â
She kisses you, roughly and desperately, her tongue shoving into your mouth. Her walls clench hard around your cock, every part of her body demanding your attention.
You bury your face in her neck and thrust harder, faster, trying to drown out the nightmare happening ten feet away.
âSwitch,â Julian commands outside. âI want her pussy now.â
Thereâs a shuffle, the creak of the mattress shifting, and Winter gasps as she moves. You look through the slats.
Sheâs straddling Julian now, bouncing up and down on him in a frantic rhythm, her head thrown back, breasts bouncing freely. But sheâs not just riding him. Sheâs leaning forward, wrapping her lips around the exâs cock as he sits on the edge of the bed, her hand stroking him in time with her hips.
âGod, sheâs completely soaking wet,â he laughs, sounding delighted. âYou really are desperate cumslut, arenât you, Minjeong?â
âYes,â she wails. âI am. Iâm a worthless little fucktoy. Please donât stop. I want to come again and again and again. Please.â
âGood girl,â the ex demands. âKeep begging. Beg for my cock while he ruins your pussy.â
You look again. Winterâs face is a ruin of smeared makeup, tears, and lust as sheâs licking his cock like itâs keeping her alive.
âThatâs it. Thatâs a good girl. Finally letting go. Finally honest about what you are.â
âYes, Iâm a whore,â Winter gasps between licks. âIâm really just a whore. I canât believe it.â
Sheâs sprawled across the sheets, legs pried apart as Julian drives into her, the mattress shaking with every thrust. But sheâs not even looking at him.
Her head is dipped back, trapped in her exâs grip as he holds her jaw steady, stroking himself while she frantically licks him from below.
âWhose whore?â he asks, rubbing his balls against her tongue.
âYours. Both of yours.â
âWhere do you want us to finish?â Julian demands.
âOn my face,â Winter cries. âCover me. Please cover me with cum.â
Ningning drops to her knees in the cramped space. Without any warning, she just takes you into her mouth. You can barely see her. Instead, all you see is Winter on the other side of those doors, begging them for their cum.
âOur little cum dumpster. Take it all. Every last drop.â
Winter screamsâa shattered, euphoric soundâas he slams into her repeatedly.
âOh my godâpleaseâdonât stopââ she sobs, her hands scrabbling uselessly against the sheets. âIâm coming! I canât stop comââ
She cuts herself off with a shattered scream, her body arching off the mattress as the pleasure rips through her again. Sheâs not even breathing between the cries anymore, just sobbing uncontrollably as she rides out the peak, completely undone.
It breaks you. The sound of her pleasure, directed at them, shatters your control. You look down at Ningningâat her dark hair, her desperate eyes, the way sheâs slurping you in the dark while Winter gets destroyed in the light.
You grab her hair, thrusting into her mouth as she takes it deep, gagging slightly but never stopping, her throat tightening around you.
âFuckâIâm coming, Minjeongie,â the ex moans outside.
He erupts on Winterâs faceâthick waves landing on her cheek and her chin. Julian joins in, painting her chest and neck in white.
At the exact same moment, you spill down Ningningâs throat. She swallows it all silently, her eyes locked on yours as you pulse into her throat.
Winter takes it all, her tiny body trembling, her chest heaving, and a look of satisfaction and relief fills her face.
Ningning slowly pulls off of you, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She stays on her knees, panting, looking just as pleased as Winter on the bed.
For a long moment, there is only the sound of soft, ragged breathing in the closet, and the hot, heavy panting from the bedroom.
âGood girl,â the ex says softly outside. âThis is what you deserve, Minjeongie. Nothing more and nothing less.â
And as you look through the cracks, at the way Winter lies breathless on the bed in a hopeless daze, covered in their mess, you finally realize something.
Maybe itâs not her who needs to be saved from him.
Itâs you who needs to be saved from her.
--
The ballroom is now a blur of noise and light that hurts your ears and stings your eyes. Youâre standing near the entrance, leaning against a marble pillar because your legs are still too traumatized to function.
It took nearly thirty minutes. Thirty minutes trapped in a closet, crouching in the dark while Ningning forces your head between her legs, silently begging you to pleasure her while waiting for the three of them to clean up their crime scene and leave the suite.
âGod,â Ningning sighs, adjusting her dress as she scans the crowd. She looks irritatingly fresh, her lipstick reapplied, hair perfectâas if she feels more rejuvenated now instead of hollow inside like you. âSuddenly it feels like heaven out here.â
âI want to go home,â you mutter, staring at the floor. âI want to bleach my brain.â
âDonât be dramatic. You survived. And we got the goods.â She pats her chest, where the SD cards are safely tucked away. âItâs New Yearâs Eve. Live a little. The night is young and so are we.â
âThe night is a nightmare and Iâm leaving.â
âNot yet youâre not,â she says, nodding toward the far corner of the room. âLook.â
You follow her gaze.
Karina is there. Sheâs swaying slightly, clutching a wine glass with both hands. And sheâs not alone. A man in a sharp tuxedo is standing closeâleaning in with a rather earnest, concerned expression. Heâs handsome in a wholesome, non-threatening way that instantly makes you want to jump down a flight of stairs.
âWell,â Ningning hums, patting your arm. âIâll leave you to that.â
âWhat are you going to do?â
âFirst, Iâm going to secure a midnight kiss or two. Iâm thinking those VPs from IVE with the limited edition Rolexes.â She winks. âAnd then⊠Phase Three.â
You sigh. âThereâs a Phase Three?â
âOf course. But donât worry, this partâs all me. Iâm gonna go pay Winterâs ex another visit and introduce him to Little Miss Yuna,â she says, her grin turning wicked. âWatching two narcissists collide sounds like great entertainment.â
You sigh. âAnd then what?â
âWait and see, Batboy.â She lifts her chin in Karinaâs direction. âYou should go save your princess before Prince Charming over there snatches her for the night. Youâve earned the right to continue yearning.â
She vanishes into the crowd, leaving you alone with the noise, the stolen cameras, and the sudden, overwhelming need to get to Karina.
You make your way over, weaving through the crowd of drunk executives and couples awkwardly moving to the slow music. Your eyes lock onto the corner near the terrace doors where Karina is standing.
You recognize him vaguely from the seating chart you werenât allowed to be on. Lee Heeseung from Enhypen Groupâold money, a prestige family line, and probably has a wing of some hospital named after his grandfather.
You slow your pace, hesitation crawling up your spine.
Karina hasnât texted you since you left her to deal with Winter. And now, seeing her with himâsomeone who belongs in this room, someone who was probably invited to sit at the Chairmanâs table while you were sneaking around in a closetâit hits you.
Youâre just an intern. Youâre the guy who carries things and replies to emails. Heeseung is the âgood matchâ her father was probably lecturing her about all night.
You stop ten feet away. They look comfortable. Heâs smiling gently, saying something that makes her nod. Meanwhile, you look like youâve been dragged through a war zone. Your bow tie is barely clinging on, and you realize that Winter was rightâyou really donât know how to fix it.
You decide to turn away.
Because you should. You donât belong here. You donât belong anywhere near Karina. You donât deserve her. You should just go home. You should just disappear before you embarrass her and yourself further.
Youâre two steps from the exit when a hand grabs your arm.
Itâs not a gentle touch. Itâs a gripâtight, desperate, fingers digging into your bicep through the suit jacket.
You turn. Karina is there, alone. Sheâs looking up at you, her eyes glassy and huge, searching your face with a mix of both relief and sorrow.
âAre you leaving me again?â she says, her voice slurring from alcohol and hurt.
âI wasnât leaving,â you lie. âI was just giving you space.â
âLiar,â she murmurs, her grip on your arm tightening rather than loosening. âYou were running away. I saw you turn.â
She sways, and you instinctively reach out to steady her, your hands settling on her waist. She feels warm, like the only real thing in a night that has felt like a fever dream.
âI didnât want to interrupt,â you admit, nodding slightly toward Heeseung, who is watching from a polite distance, looking confused but not angry. âHe looks⊠like someone your dad would approve of.â
Karina lets out a short, bitter laugh. âMy dadâs been trying to marry me off to him since I was in middle school.â
âBut too many golf metaphors?â you try to joke, but it doesnât even land anymore.
She shakes her head. âNo, heâs actually one of the better ones. Heâs kind, honest, considerate. Pretty sure heâs liked me since high school.â
âSo then why arenât you there with him?â you ask softly.
She shrugs, a small, fragile movement. âMaybe the person he likes isnât really me. Maybe he just likes the idea of me.â
She wobbles again, her heel slipping on the marble.
âOkay,â you say, tightening your grip. âThatâs enough philosophy for one night. Letâs get you upstairs.â
âIâm not drunk,â she protests weakly, though she doesnât pull away.
âYou canât even stand straight.â
âFine,â she mumbles. âMaybe a little.â
âCome on. Iâll walk you.â
You drape your jacket over her shoulders and guide her toward the elevators. The noise of the party fades behind you, replaced by the quiet hum of the elevator.
She leans against the mirrored wall, watching you. âSo whereâd you go tonight?â she asks, her voice quieter now.
âSomewhere I shouldnât have been,â you admit, thinking of the closet, the cameras, the smell of sex. âI shouldâve just stayed with you.â
âWas she pretty?â
Your heart skips a beat. âWho?â
âMinjeong.â
You donât answer. You just watch the numbers climb.
âI know you went to find her,â she says, not accusingly, just stated like a fact. âYou always do.â
âMaybe I should stop.â
âSo did you find her? Did you save her?â
âI found her,â you whisper. âBut I donât think she wants to be saved.â
âMinjeong doesnât need saving,â she says, softly. âSheâs one of the strongest people I know.â
âI wish I knew that before I left you waiting all night.â
She smiles, but she doesnât look happy. âThe heart wants what it wants. You canât stop it.â
You exhale.
She opens her mouth, but then stops herself. âIâm sorry that I didnât defend you at dinner. I was a coward.â
âYouâre not a coward,â you say firmly. âYou did defend me. You did everything you could.â
âThatâs what everyone always says,â she whispers bitterly. âYou did what you could, Jimin. Itâs not your fault.â
The elevator dings, opening onto her floor. She stumbles out, and without thinking, you sweep her up into your arms.
âWhat are you doing?â she gasps, wrapping her arms around your neck, burying her face in your shoulder.
âTrying to see how heavy with guilt you are,â you joke weakly.
âYouâre so brave tonight.â
âWhat, you think Iâd drop you? I carry things for a living.â
She blinks. âPlease donât. There are other ways to make me fall for you.â
You feel a sudden heat rush to your cheeks and the urge to ask, âlike what?â but you decide to keep your mouth shut and just carry her down the hall as her head rests on your shoulder.
âYou never sent me any snarky commentary about the award speeches,â she mumbles into your neck.
âI actually missed the whole thing,â you say, stopping at her door. âWere they any good?â
You fish the keycard from her bag, scanning it with a soft beep. The angel keychain sways from the touch, the crystal reflecting a bit of the light from the ceiling.
âNot at all,â she says, lifting her head slightly as the door swings open. âYou know, it was supposed to be our gala but for some reason Jang Wonyoung won everything. She really is the ace around here.â
âYouâre the only ace in my eyes. Everyone else is just either blind or has no taste.â
She pouts. âDonât be mean. Sheâs a nice girl.â
âJust calling a spade a spade.â
You step inside, and the difference hits you instantly.
The suite you were in earlier felt like a crime scene. This room is warm. The soft golden glow from the lamp sweeps over the plush furniture, and thereâs a faint scent of vanilla in the air, probably from a diffuser. It feels gentle and safe. Just like her.
You set her down gently on the edge of the bed, and she kicks off her heels with a sigh, wiggling her toes.
âWater,â you say, pouring her a glass. âDrink it. All of it.â
She smiles, amused. âSomeoneâs bossy tonight.â
While she drinks, you wander toward the living area. On the sideboard, thereâs a vintage record player spinning silently. You glance at the sleeve resting next to itâsome old jazz album. You drop the needle, and a soft, relaxing rendition of Fly Me to the Moon fills the room.
You walk to the floor-to-ceiling windows. The city actually looks peaceful from this height. Itâs hard to believe that down there, people are screaming counts and setting off fireworks. Up here, itâs just quiet.
You stare at your own reflection in the glassâhair disheveled, bowtie loose, eyes tired. And yet somehow, someway, Karina still wants you near her.
âMy father hates this song,â she says softly from behind you.
You turn. Sheâs standing in the soft glow of the lamp, barefoot now, holding her glass of water with both hands. Without her heels, she looks smaller. Less like the Yoo Jimin from the gala and more like the girl who buys you pastries when youâre tired.
âPerfect,â you joke. âThen he hates everything thatâs in this room with you now.â
She steps closer, setting the glass down on a side table. âWe shouldâve done this hours ago.â
âWhat?â
âDisappeared,â she says, slowly walking toward you. âTogether. Hide from the world.â
âThe night isnât over. We still can.â
âGood,â she says, looking up at you through her lashes. âBecause I believe you still owe me a dance.â
âYou can barely stand,â you say as your hands brush her arms.
âThen hold me up,â she says simply, wrapping her arms around your neck. âI trust you.â
The world outside those windows becomes a distant backdrop that doesnât matter anymore. In here, the universe has shrunk down to the size of this room, filled only with the sound of the music and the warmth of her body.
You rest your hands on her waist and begin to sway, moving slowly to the relaxing jazz rhythm. Itâs intimate, far more intimate than youâve ever been with her. But after the violence of the closet, this tenderness feels both dangerous and necessary.
âWhy do you even waste your time with me?â you ask, holding her close.
âYouâre not a waste of time,â she whispers against your chest, her eyes closing. âWhen Iâm with you, I donât have to be Yoo Jimin. I can just be Karina.â
You blink. âThereâs a difference?â
âYoo Jimin is Head of Design,â she says bitterly. âFIT graduate. Eldest daughter of the Yoo family. Kim Minjeongâs older, more established cousin. Sheâs not allowed to make mistakes. She has to be perfect.â
âAnd Karina?â
âThe version of me that only you know.â
âOh, so the girl who hangs out in the break room with interns and brings them tea when theyâre about to die from exhaustion? The girl who lends an ear to her employees so they can rant about work related things even though sheâs an executive? The girl who goes out in the cold to buy coffee and pastries for her team so they donât overwork and die? The girl who gifts someone a scarf because she wants them to be warm?â You pause. âBold of you to assume that I donât think Karina is perfect.â
She pulls back to look at you, eyes shimmering in the dim light. âIâm not perfect,â she says softly, cupping your face. âIâm so far from it.â
âYou are to me.â
She shakes her head, almost fearfully. âNo,â she whispers. âTrust me. Iâm not who you think I am. Iâve done some really horrible things in my life.â
âI donât believe that at all.â
âYou should,â she says, her hands tightening in your hair. âBecause one day when you find out, youâll just run away again.â
Her voice cracks on the last word. You donât say anything at first. You just reach up and brush a stray lock of hair behind her ear as she looks at you like sheâs nervously waiting for a specific reply.
âI donât know what ghosts youâre fighting,â you say gently, lacing your fingers through hers. âBut I know that youâre gentle even when no one is watching. I know youâre kind even when youâre exhausted. I know you care about people who donât deserve it. So Iâm sorry, you can stand there and try to push me away all you want, but Iâm not going anywhere.â
For a long moment, she just looks at you, as if there were a thousand words screaming in her head that couldnât be said out loud. And in that gaze, you realize that you havenât had another sip of alcohol, and yet the room is spinning.
Outside, the sky fractures into different fragments of light. The first firework detonatesâa bloom of gold and violet light reflecting in the floor-to-ceiling glass, illuminating the inches of space left between you. The boom nearly rattles the windowpane, but neither of you flinch.
âItâs midnight,â you say, eyes locked with hers.
âYeah,â she whispers, staring right into yours.
Neither of you say another word, but the sound of fireworks and cheers from outside manage to leak into the space that only exists for you and her.
âYou shouldnât look at me like that,â she breathes, her voice barely audible.
âLike what?â
âLike youâre going to kiss me.â
âShould Iââ
She doesnât wait. She kisses you first.
Itâs soft, tasting of champagne and longing, a stark contrast to Ningningâs violence and Winterâs emptiness. Her lips gently tug against yours, politely squeezing in the space between them with a sweetness that robs the oxygen from the room.
She pulls back, breathless, resting her forehead against yours. âHappy New Year,â she says, smiling against your face.
âHappy New Year, Karina,â you say, rubbing your nose against hers, still chasing the taste of her lip balm.
âAre you going to disappear now?â she asks, tracing the line of your jaw.
âDo you want me to?â
She shakes her head. âNo. Stay here. With me.â
You kiss her again. Slower, more tenderly, more lovinglyâas if everything in the world led to this moment that you donât want to end.
ââŠBut if your suit still wants to vaporize,â she whispers, biting her lip. âI wonât complain.â
smut & angst & fluff (the one where you want more of whatâs already yours), 6k words
Letâs be honest: you donât deserve Huh Yunjin.
Sheâs an ambitious mishmash of love languages. But from the way sheâs always including you in wishlists back to her parents in New York, how sheâs always testing new big-stretch-and-yawn-at-the-movies level ways to get her hands on you, or how sheâs going on her eighth permutation of pet names and emojis for you on her phone (itâs been POOKIEđ§žđŠ·đ€đ for the past 2 weeks â your longest running), anyone would guess that she was fluent across the board.
And thatâs only while youâre pretending that looks donât matter.
Because whenever it feels like you have to chalk up a point for Yunjinâs personality, one of her physical features always stops you at the blackboard.Â
Yunjin looks like she was grandma-knit: finished patiently and smoothed tender. Where skin would normally crease, Yunjin softens. And between the way her eyes sweeten into crescent moons when she laughs, how her lips always find a way to ease back into their permanent pout, or how perfectly her chin nestles in between your fingers, there was nothing about her that didnât compete to be your favorite.
But all of them have to settle for second best.Â
Because your favorite thing about Yunjin is her eyebrows.Â
They waltz between well-learned battle lines on her forehead, stretching emphatically behind boundaries they know other features did not dare cross, because compared to the rest of her face, theyâre bold. They explode from sienna to whiskey and hook insultingly fast, threading down to points so sharp that it only feels right to dot them at the end like exclamation marks, putting a megaphone to the stories that her eyes tell. Only on Yunjinâs face does softness ring loudly. Eye contact morphs into reverie, amusement magnitudes up into hilarity, and tenderness becomes love.
You think itâs unfair.
Itâs unfair that the reasons you could fall in love with her are endless. Itâs unfair that she can simultaneously make the world the two of you share both so tiny, special, and unreplicable and then larger than life, ever-expansive, and infinite. And itâs unfair that she makes doing all of this at the same time look so effortless.
Itâs a high bar to clear.
But you try anyway.
If not to at least get close to the standard she sets, for the sex.
-
The two of you are practically asking for it the time you get caught.
Standing at the far end of a HYBE practice room, itâs all so fitting: under the only lit floodlight, her on her knees, your cock at attention inches from her lips, tension teetering above climax â Huh Yunjin was going to give you a performance.
Sheâs kissing at the bottom of your shaft, lingering half a second longer each time as she slowly makes her way up your length. She mewls, ad libbing your grunts with soft, venom-laced yeah?s.
âYou sound so pent up,â she starts, thumbing your cockhead counterclockwise.
You give her bits and pieces of an affirmative response: you let out a forced breath somewhere between a grunt and an exhale, grip your cock tighter, and pinch one of her nipples with your free hand. She translates.
âMmm?â Yunjin purrs. She runs the flat of her tongue long across your entirety, flicking up as she reaches the tip.
Youâre gripping at anything you can to stay alive. Trying to keep the facade up that you can compete. You splay your free hand and grab at her chest, playing dirty; grasping for a reaction. She plays your game and picks up the rhythm on your cock.
âYou donât want to just paint my face right now?â
Your breath is hot on your lips, tight in your chest. Youâre parrying, blocking, countering. You look deep into the pools of honey bourbon in her eyes. Youâre falling into the abyss.
Who fights fair with a poisoned blade? Yunjin? Not with the tears dotting the corners of her eyes; not with the drool running down her chin. Her cheeks are hollow as she swallows further and further down your cock. Her lips brush the base of your shaft. It feels good. She knows it feels good, the way sheâs looking back up at you; the way youâre groaning.
She raises her eyebrows.
You cum.
And despite all of the preposition, conviction building, and white-knuckleâsteeling, you think, you donât really ever lose. Because the moment you ride out your orgasm, itâs great.
You canât compete. You kick off the cliffhanger and throw yourself into freefall. You see white flashes where there used to be color, and the tightness under your stomach evaporates into a vacuum: hot, and all at once. You can fully exhale and for what has to be a full minute, you die.
And as usual, after she makes peace with killing you, Yunjin brings you back to life.Â
She kisses the top of your cockhead before sitting back on her heels. Under the spotlight, sweat literally shimmering, sheâs glowing, and sheâs ethereal. Her tongue darts at the sides of her mouth before retreating, replaced by her bottom lip, equal parts pink and proud; satisfied and smug. She grabs at a small towel sitting next to her before beginning to clean up, dabbing at where youâd made a fucking mess out of her face.
But not before the door to the practice room opens. Your stomach shatters, and everywhere you just felt warm goes cold. A woman takes the empty space in the doorway, starts in your direction, and continues way too fast.
Your brain is instantly numb, and you scramble for something further than a stoneâs toss away from the plot of a cheap porno. She slipped on her towel and grabbed my zipper on the way down! What do you mean Yunjinâs in this room with us? My COCK? God no, this is a thermometer that just looks a lot like- You donât get far.
And before you try at reasoning that would effectively end you on the spot, the woman gets close enough. She yelps, producing a folder from behind her to try and shield you from any further consequences.
âCan you put-â she shakes her hands â folder and all â in your general direction, âeverything away?â
Jolted awake, you scramble at your pants at your ankles, pulling anything your fingers brushed against in the direction you thought was closed. In hindsight, the zippers for your pants pockets probably didnât matter much, but you zip those too, hoping the thought counted. Yunjin reappears next to you, the straps of her newly stretched tank top sitting awkwardly on top of her shoulders, now resembling probably anything else closer than they would elastic.
The woman gingerly peeks an eye over at the two of you and lets out a deep, full exhale. âGood, phew!â
âYou would think weâd have that practiced by now,â she tuts, using what was once her plastic barrier to fan herself. She shoots a dirtier glare at Yunjin before turning towards you, and her expression visibly softens. âOh! Same guy!â
And instantly, anything that would give off that she was disappointed just a moment ago dissipates, and is replaced by genuine admiration.
âI respect that you guys are trying to make the dating thing work!â
There were some things that practice wouldnât get you used to.
See, when you and Yunjin first started dating, you expected a little bit of onboarding. A little bit of catching up to speed: When were her parentsâ birthdays? Was she allergic to anything? What were her favorite movies? For extra credit, youâre even brushing up on the idol industry: How long was a comeback promotion period? What was an aegyo? â the usual.
But youâre still taking notes to this day.
(Itâs a Saturday a couple of months ago, and you and Yunjin are snaking through the aisles of a thrift store.
âAnd Chaewonâs seeing them?"
Okay: Yunjinâs snaking through the aisles of a thrift store. Youâre trailing behind her, making sure you connected all the right dots together.
âNope,â she says, eyes scanning a tattered band tee. Then, equally nonchalantly: âIdols get horny, too. Dating just makes things messier than they need to be.â
Thereâs an expectant pause, then Yunjin turns to look at you.
âNot that thatâs a rule or anything,â she adds, placing a hand on yours as if to close the lid on any implication that tried to escape. âItâs just not most peopleâs style.â)
âGivenâ was probably the word for it, you think. The idol industry collected teenagers at their most formative periods, and where others their age condensed pre-calculus and high school breakups, they learned choreography and how to introduce themselves across the language spectrum. When other kidsâ hormones flared up and made them deal with acne, they were digitally edited, scrubbed clean, and hidden behind locked doors. An industry formed on cherry-picking highlights had to have a gnarly underbelly â what would be taboo had to be a given â and it probably only helped that everyone had to look like sex.
So you try to catch up and blend in. Try to not get hung up on how casually sex, drugs, and secrets are laced in sentences. Try to take what Yunjin says at face value.
And it sure as hell didnât help that halfway through the lobby, you trade greetings with her fake boyfriend.
There were some things that practice wouldnât get you used to.
-
So get this: your girlfriend was going to be one half of a manufactured dating scandal.
She stood too close to another idol at a variety show, and online forum sentiment was eating it up (or something like that). There it was: a full page, in bold. All over social media. Yunjin, and the boy with the jawline and swoon-inducing eyes (not that you were jealous), everywhere at once, and on the tips of everyoneâs tongue. The buzz brought eyeballs to her group debut, and what better way to snowball that momentum than to confirm it?
Yunjin just didnât know that you knew yet.
And for your sake, it was probably for the better that she thinks her secret was safe. Firstly, because you donât know how to feel about how you get the information. You were both at the pinnacle of industry â dating an idol â and at the mercy of it â cobbling together information from vague fan accounts, building a list of social accounts that got leaks right; irony never played fair.
And secondly, because you didnât know how to bring it up.
Truth be told, you donât know how to feel about it. You donât know how youâre supposed to feel about it. Youâre equal parts ruptured and reductive. Half of you thinks it borders on trust, and the other half scolds you for thinking that way: that you signed up for this, and donât know how to compromise. Half of you imagines what they talk about when youâre not around: how far heâll go to convince the public of a relationship, and the other half thinks you have no self-esteem for stooping that low.
All of you yearns for Yunjin. Because where there were all the things that you had to get used to, there were also the FaceTimes. The phone calls of complete silence when she just wanted someone to listen but was too exhausted to recount what practice was just like. The joy on her face when she told you that was going to debut.
Imposing would be selfish. She deserved everything she worked for, and you donât even come close to par. Under it all, through the glitz, you see the Huh Yunjin that you fall in love with over again every single day, and she had too tight of a grip on your heart for you to break hers.
So you donât bring it up, and wait for her to.
-
Itâs quite literally pathetic the way notifications on your phone evoke a physical response out of you. Like it fires a neuron, youâre diving hands outstretched every time you hear it chime.
Sure, it hasnât paid off yet â youâve dropped literally everything to be greeted by promotional emails, pushes about the weather, and pings on the latest discounts â but youâll hold your breath.
Though as you pick yourself up off the floor from familiar disappointment at another non-Yunjin notification, you canât say that youâre less confused. And youâve caught yourself multiple times today way too deep in somber tangents for some of it not to start sticking.
The loudest of them all stemmed from the fact that it felt like the answer was implied. That if there was nothing to it, itâd be easy to talk about. That if it was anything like the dating mantra, since it didnât apply to the two of you, Yunjin would address it at face value.
And tautologically, because she didnât, it wasnât.
-
Itâs the end of the week when Yunjin finally texts you.
have dinner plans tonight mister? :)
You draft two texts. The first makes you sound sixteen: obnoxiously sad about the state of affairs of literally everything. The second makes you sound sociopathic: blunt, deflecting, and not enough emojis. You send a third.
Nope! What do you have in mind?
Before long, youâre sitting on a blanket overlooking the Hangang. The sunâs setting, playing a global game of cat and mouse: light spills through the gaps in willow trees, gazebos, and construction, highlighting pockets of parkground with its blessing of orange-red. Youâre where the surface areaâs the largest, like the paper bowls of ramen didnât anchor the blanket down enough, and the sunâs rays are what did the trick.
Or, technically speaking: bowl of ramen.
Because while Yunjin was three-quarters of the way finished with hers, sneaking bites in as she took breaths in between practically spoiling her next comeback, yours was virtually untouched. You made do with spinning the floating egg in your bowl dizzy.
âYou know,â Yunjin starts, âyou didnât have to come out if you werenât hungry.â
You look up at her. Her headâs cocked at an angle, piqued such that it catches sunlight. In the glow, sheâs beautiful.
âIâm a big girl now,â she emphasizes. âYou can tell me no. I might cry myself to sleep after, but â you know â in a big girl way.â
Her eyes curl up into tiny moons like they always do, and you give her a weak response.
Itâs tightrope thin. Yunjinâs prodding, expecting you to riposte, poking at things she knows will get a reaction out of you; you donât bite. Youâre both expecting an answer. Your heart is jackhammering at your chest, and between the punctuation, in the offbeats, you want to yell. You want to find out if your house of cards is built on sand.
-
The both of you are walking back towards HYBE, along the scenic route that you always take, and only someone purposely oblivious would guess that everything was fine.
âDo you,â Yunjin perks up, trailing off, ânot like the comeback?â
You donât say anything.
âMaybe,â she pokes again, âyouâre grumpy because I havenât been texting you?â
You feel her eyes peek at you then retreat. In your peripheral vision you see her purse her lips, nod, and then smirk. You hear a tiny breath.
âAre you,â and she lets out an exaggerated gasp, âseeing someone else?â
âI know about your scandal, Yunjin,â you blurt out, and it's too fast for either of your own goods.
Thereâs a beat. You both stop walking. You turn her way.
âYour dating scandal â your fake boyfriend â whatever.â
Yunjin isn't great at hiding her emotions â her eyebrows give it away. You see her face gradient across shock, then consideration, before landing on shame. Her eyebrows knit, and she canât meet your eyes.
Thereâs another beat. You can hear your heart thump in your ears, and despite the autumn at night, youâre hot. Youâre searching her face for a tell, some semblance of an answer; anything.
Youâre imposing.
And for the first time in the past week, youâre thinking of her. Of her today and her in the past. Of all the work she put in to get to where she wanted to be. Of what she had to give up to have tonight with you. Of all the nights before this, and the many she had to cancel abruptly because work came up. Of her being here now, and you selfishly making this about yourself.
Youâre imposing, and it feels like shit.
âIâm-,â Yunjin starts, voice shaky.
You look at her, and thereâs tears pooling in her eyes.
âI didnât know how to bring it up,â she continues slowly, and then the surface tension breaks. She shuts her eyes tight, and then sheâs crying. âItâs in the contract we signed. It helps our comeback.â
You hear the Huh Yunjin that you first fall in love with. Before the glitz, before she had to pretend like she was an adult-
âI donât know what to say.â
- before she had to hide anything from you.
(The two of you are in front of the HYBE building, and sheâs giving you shit for how messily you eat. Itâs a late spring, and Yunjinâs hair is shoulder-length and cherry oak. Youâre missing a lecture on the pigeonhole principle, and sheâs dodging her manager â sea salt ice cream was seasonal, after all.
âHow did you get it on your nose?â She chides you, dabbing around your mouth with a scrunched napkin. âThey should have you give your I.D. to see if you can handle a cone instead of a cup. Nine-year olds can do this better than you.â
âWhat if you donât debut, Yunjin?â
You were always good at telling it like it was, even if you had to disregard social tact. But you had a point. Yunjin was going on her third trainee year, and internally, it didnât look like it was going to be her last.Â
Thereâs a couple of beats before she softens.
âI donât know.â
Itâs a side of her that really only you do. Under the spunk and the character she has to amplify, there is fear: that sheâs taking too large a gamble, that sheâd be perpetually behind if she didnât make it, that itâd be safer if she just did what everyone else was doing.
She canât meet your eyes, and sheâs fiddling with the hem of your shirt.
âI just think things tend to happen for a reason,â she says, with more resolve than you expect. âAnd I donât think itâs worth it to question it deeper than that.â
âHow much of that is because youâre scared of the answer?â
Thereâs a pause, and the implication is clear.
âDo you always hate to have just a cute, fictional moment?â You look down at her, and sheâs expecting it, staring back at you, eyebrows knit, lips in an exaggerated pout. âWe canât just â I donât know â kiss and end things on the high note?â
You break, and let out the unflattering start to a laugh. Sheâs deflecting, and you know to let it go. In your heart of hearts, the two of you know that youâre both right. That thereâs fear in uncertainty â a lot of it â but also hope. That big payoffs donât come if you donât gamble it all.
You lean down and kiss her on the nose.
Sheâs staring at you as she walks all the way back through the revolving doors, a smirk across her lips, and the unmistakably blue speck of sea salt ice cream on her nose. Sheâs yelling, letting you know to let the rest of your face have some ice cream, too.)
And youâre staring at her, wishing this time was half as picturesque. She doesnât have the words; she doesnât have to. Asking the hard question was your thing. Sheâs pleading, frantically, and her watery eyes are beckoning. You want to tell her that itâll all play out, that things happen for a reason; you donât have to â that was her thing.
Under the soft, streetlamp glow, you see the Yunjin the public doesnât â the uncertainty, the gamble, the fear. You hear the desperation in the dark days; the resolve, unconvincing yet unabashed, that what was far out was not so; the throughline: that if she pretended to be convinced, maybe you would, too.Â
You see the Yunjin you love, and youâre so fucking whipped.
You thumb the tear trailing down her cheek. Youâre defeated, and it bleeds into your voice, but never going to pass on hitting where it hurts. âWhat happened to changing the idol industry?â
She chokes back a laugh through tears. âOkay,â she starts, and through the sarcasm she tries for â and how muddy it was between sniffles â sheâs glad to hear your voice. âItâs the goddamn industry. What am I supposed to do in the debut video: admit defeat? Whoâd watch that?â
âSorry, itâs just â all of it â so dumb,â she adds for good measure, swiping at her eyes.
Hanging in the night, in the words unsaid, in between the watery sarcasm and the tension quickly evaporating, itâs clear. The two of you resolve a silent conversation. Youâre punctuating her apologies with eye rolls, and she wants to hear you say you love her, but she knows that already. You say you donât deserve her, and she calls you stupid.
Tears hot down your cheeks, youâre both laughing now, bouncing off of each other. And then, into the whatâs next of it all: âI can try to get out of it,â Yunjin says.
Itâs cathartic and real, and should disarm you.
But you say no.
Down to your cores, you and Yunjin were infinitely kindred. Intertwined forever, etched in the books of fate with permanent marker. You were after each other's hearts, molded from the same cosmic clay. You had each other in all the ways that mattered, and that would never change.
-
The last stop on your train home is when you get the notification.
are you headed home?
And in the moment, you catastrophize. It was in the middle of the weekend of her comeback. What was she thinking? Did something happen? How far were you away from HYBE?
But even if you played the same situation back a hundred times over, there was no way in hell youâd get to the conclusion that Huh Yunjin was in your foyer, behind your door, and wearing what didnât leave much to imagination.
âYunjin-â you try and start, before youâre kissed quiet.Â
Her hands are on top of yours, leading, as you smooth down the creases of her vanilla crop top and run your thumbs down her body. Your fingers are fluid, filling the divots, tracing along the lines, running the valleys of muscle in the flat of her stomach. Between bouts, as her lips linger inches away from yours, for a moment uncaptured, you breathe in air nonvenomous, and try to grapple with it all, scrambling for something to hold on to before your brain short circuits.
Youâre sinking, and you donât know how to wrestle rights from rudimentaries. Yunjinâs eyes, glazed over, zero in on yours, and she kisses you again. Her lips are sweet and have a bite to them, yours smack as you swallow the venom thick on your tongue. She pulls away, you come up for air.
Standing in the soft, orange-yellow glow of light from the room adjacent, you see the Yunjin the public does â the siren, sultry and seductive: her eyes, soft, malleable, and unassuming â how she could convince you that your name was something else entirely if she looked at you head on â her lips, venom-laced and tantalizing â how sheâd push the agenda.Â
Except this time, youâre finally lucid, and you see the parallel. In the muscles â impressive in the light, but meek at the same time, like it split moments in the spotlight with softness â in the eyes â perpetually provocative, but infinitely innocent â in the perfect unattainable. Everything is polished, nudged purposefully in its direction. Itâs all artificial, doctored, and done up.
Huh Yunjin is a product of industry, and you were going to fuck it out of her.
Yunjinâs smirk dismantles as you rip your hands from her grip. It completely falls apart as you pull her into you face first, thumbs across her cheeks. And as she tries to pull back, youâre keeping her where you want her, kissing into the poison. Her hands grab at your chest; at your dress shirt, half foregoing permission, pulling buttons apart, and half to steady herself as you move your dance deeper into your living room.
Youâre leading this time, and as your knees bump brown velvet, youâre able to rasp: âYunjin, on the couch.â
âHow do you want me?â she whispers, breath hot on your lips.
âLegs apart.â You push her into the middle seat, and her hands are working at her shorts. Thereâs an audible zip, and theyâre on your hardwood.
And as youâre kneeling down into the negative space in between Yunjinâs thighs, in the seconds, sultry and slow-burn, you catch a glimpse of her face. Spread across the finger in her mouth, eyes half-lidded, and eyebrows upturned, you think you see anticipation. Like you were going to rip Yunjin apart, and â straying away from what she was taught, coloring outside the lines â she might let you.
You test the theory: you take her into your mouth.
And you donât think youâve heard an exhale more pained.Â
Youâre generous â lapping at her heat through lace, grazing against her clit â and with variety â kissing her inner thighs, nipping at skin. Yunjinâs sensitive and unintelligible.
âFuck,â she manages to get out, her hips bucking, searching for more of you. One of her hands tries to meet you where you are, to pull her panties to the side, to feel you on her. But you redirect her to where you want her to be: your free hand on her wrist, you lead her up her chest. And though reluctantly, she translates. Together, youâre undoing buttons, palming the fullness of her breast, and flicking at the hard bud of her nipple.
Eventually, you give Yunjin what she wants.
Youâre cradling her thighs around your forearms, and at the angle you have her, suspended, supported by the small of her back, you swear she yelps. You draw her underwear to the side, and then Yunjinâs squealing. Sheâs whining, sheâs so wet, sheâs raking her nails at your scalp. Your mouthâs on her cunt, drawing long across her folds, tonguing the alphabet over her clit.
Thereâs this moment. Sheâs arching, thighs hooked tight at your arms, on her tiptoes. You poke your tongue into her heat, thereâs a high note, and then Yunjinâs cumming in your mouth.
And as you coax her through it, tongue flat, letting her ride your mouth, youâre sharing a gaze. Morbid curiosity canât stop her from peeking at the mess sheâs making, and you want to see what it looks like to kill a goddess.
âFuck,â Yunjin repeats, like itâs the only word she knows, as you lick your lips. Her headâs tucked into her chest, and the orange bask sheâs painted in is competing with the blush sauntering across her cheeks.
âYouâre so-â she starts, dodging your eyes, kicking out gingerly at you.
âMm?â you beckon, easing yourself in between her legs, undoing the button at your pants, freeing your cock tenting at the fabric. âIâm so?â you press again, tugging her panties off, soaked beyond belief.
And how you have her under you, top unbuttoned, hanging off her shoulders, how she canât meet your eyes, itâs apt. Like sheâs disarmed. Like under the layers of polish and practice, purposefully put away; under the glitz, the expensive everything: multisyllabic and most likely mispronounced; under the spunk, in her personal space, when she wasnât allowed to deflect, Huh Yunjin was naked, and like putty in your hands.
All it took was your mouth on her cunt.
And she sure as shit didnât need to say anything to you to admit it. Itâs hard to miss, the way sheâs folding her legs behind your waist, the red across her cheeks deepening.
âThink about your answer,â you quip for good measure, and with your cock hovering inches away from her pussy: âIâm going to fuck you now.â
And truthfully, the confidence is more for you than it is for Yunjin. Itâs far from your first time, but every time you slide your cock in Yunjinâs cunt, itâs like everything around you takes a collective deep breath. Time becomes measured in fractions of a second, and youâre clairvoyant and hypersensitive. The head of your cock pushes into her pussy, and itâs hot.
You inhale a breath, picking up the sex in the air.
You swear your vision inverts. Thereâs white where there used to be color.
You catch the entirety of Yunjinâs mewling, as she goes from fuck, please, and your cock into falsetto. Sheâs mixing your name with untranslatables.
You feel her fucking cunt.
Teeth gritted, youâre pairing hard and soft. You bury your length in her, the front of your thighs slapping the back of hers, and kiss her lips tender. You only taste Yunjin, and you kiss her like sheâs lifeblood. Itâs sweet: her lipstick, her taste still on your lips, the breaths youâre sharing. And as Yunjin breaks for air, youâre whispering in the negative space, breath hot.
âYeah?â
And sheâs nodding her head, uncontrollably. Agreeing to anything you put forward, before you even asked. Anything that kept your cock in her.
âYouâre-â you try again.
Your hands wrap around her midriff, her hands wrap around your wrists.
âYouâre such a-â
God, her fucking cunt.
Except you need to hear it. You want to hear her say it, airtight, with no room for implication to escape.
âYunjin,â you finally manage, and then in whole: âYouâre such a good girl for my cock, arenât you?â
Sheâs nodding her head, mumbling. But that wasnât good enough for you. Youâre hilting, deep in her cunt, and steadying yourself, curling a hand around her neck. âYunjinâ â a little louder â âanswer me.â
Her hands around your wrists tighten, and she lets out this moan. Like sheâs trying to give you the answer you want, and frustrated that she can only whine. Finally, through the untranslatables: yes, yes, all for your cock-
But that wasnât it. Your fingers are pressing into her throat, and youâre pounding into her, wet all over you; imprinting her into the sofa. âYunjin,â and itâs dark. âThis is all you want, isnât it?â
And sheâs doing everything she can to convince you. Sheâs pushing herself into your length, grabbing at your hands, and through eyes half-lidded, staring deep at you. To show you she can compete, to show you just how good she was â just for you. And through your grip: âYes, fuck. God, yes â this is all I-â
But itâs not what you want to hear. Youâre riding the line. Youâre biting your tongue bloody. Yunjinâs cunt is suffocatingly tight against your cock. Your gripâs white-knuckle on her skin. You shut your eyes tight. You know what you wanted to hear.
âYour other boyfriend canât give it to you like this, can he?â
And you spend all the luck that was supposed to last you this lifetime, because in a moment of lucidity, you pull out. But immediately after that, youâre left to your own devices, and of course, you cum.
Itâs hot, and you feel like a rubber band twanged across the middle. Like everything tight is wrenched out of you, and then let go, left to ricochet on your spine, springing back and forth. Your ears are ringing, your toes are curling; youâre letting out an orgasm so deep, youâre only saved by the fact that your eyes are closed for half of it.
And as you stir, blinking vision back into your eyes, your brain coming back to center, youâre thinking back, and you realize what the fuck you just said.
Yunjinâs meeting you where your eyes are at. Your brainâs numb, her jawâs frozen in this half-scoff, lips untouching. She raises her eyebrows, giving you somewhere between what the fuck and intrigued. Itâs expectant. You opened this up, sheâs saying, now what?
Youâre standing in the sand, and your house of cards is crumbling. Youâre toeing where you expect the line to be, canât find it, and donât need to look to know itâs long behind you. Your chest is tight, and the implication is still in the air. Youâre scrambling for something: something to walk it back, something in between the lines, anything to drive a stake through the premise and kill it entirely.
Yunjin is less patient. She ventures into the unknown, since you wonât. âHas this been about that the entire time?â
âYunjin,â and youâre honest, preemptively reaching your hands out to her. âI donât know why I said that.â
Youâre looking straight into her eyes, completely wide. Her eyebrows pinch, and thereâs a couple of beats. You know you should take them, to fill in the blanks; not to let the implication linger. But before you do: âI thought about my answer,â Yunjin starts, lowering her fingers to where you left yourself on her stomach.
And only after she runs her forefinger across her tongue, only after she cleans it of cum: âYouâre so good, and no one can give it to me like you do.â
Spread across the bite in her lip, eyes half-lidded, and how sheâs staring at you through her lashes, the implicationâs crystal. And you would probably literally short circuit, if not for the second wind that was Yunjin licking you off of her fingers as she doubled down.
It all crescendos. Sheâs flipped over, and youâre pounding her into the couch, half to punctuate any sentences that implied she wasnât completely yours, and the other half because her cunt was still so goddamn tight. The upholsteryâs harmonizing, the hardwood exhaling on her offbeat.
Youâre gripping Yunjinâs hips, bottoming out in her cunt at an angle, pulling her back into you. And sheâs writhing, whining, taking your cock deeper and deeper.
âFuck, fuck, fuck,â sheâs saying, and it irks you a little more than it should.
âYunjin,â you spit, and youâre pressing your thumbs into her skin. âShut up and take this dick like a good girl.â
And when youâre both pressing the buttons-
âWho else can fuck you like this, Yunjin?â
no one no sorry so sorry all yours this pussy yours you fuck me so- so hot when youâre jealous
âYeah? You want me to? Youâre such a good girl for me, baby,â
yes so good only for you so messy all over your cock fuck cum in me cum in me please iâve been such a good girl please
- the gray area might as well be a chasm.
Because after you cum inside her, Yunjin drooling over your sofa, breath shuddering, leaking all over your cock, you have a mountain to climb. Physically â how youâre crumpled over her, exhausted, entangled â emotionally â how youâll both put a cap on this in its entirety â and all of the rest of the above.
Youâll wait for her to bring it up.
-
Yunjinâs wrapped in your dress shirt, two sizes too big, and her headâs on your chest. Nothing short of Herculean, youâre in bed, and under polyester.
âHe has a girlfriend, you know,â she says.
âHuh?â you manage intelligibly.
âMy scandal.â Yunjin motions under the sheets, like the word needed air quotes. âCute little thing. Works at an animal hospital. Always the loudest voice in the fanchants.â
Youâre stunned, and donât know what the right line of conversation is. âHow are they taking it?â
âProbably makes their sex hotter, too.â
Dating made everything so much messier than it needed to be.
-
Two weeks after their comeback, the scandal breaks.
The official post is tame, but knowing netizens â a look at the comments confirming your suspicions â theyâre feral. Itâs a collage of three photos that look like they were taken from fifty feet away, but unmistakably of Yunjin an armâs length away from another figure. Theyâre on a blanket overlooking the Hangang; sheâs cuddled up in one of your hoodies, two sizes too big; and in the third photo, enlarged in post for emphasis, Yunjinâs nestled in his arm, selling the relationship pretty goddamn well.
You open an alt account and leave a hate comment.
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