With a big fuck you to Tumblr, I hereby present my
New Masterlist Structure (NMS)!
The NMS includes this post as the Main Masterlist Hub. Because I can only have 100 Links in one post (really Tumblr, fuck you) and because my desktop Masterlist literally broke (fuck you, Tumblr), I decided to split up my Masterlist into these three parts:
One-Shot Masterlist
Series Masterlist
IZ*ONE Masterlist
Click on the links to find out more about the NMS and where each fic/series/group/idol is! Most of it should be self-explanatory, but you can ask me in my DMs/asks any time if something is wrong/confusing!
Below this gorgeous pic, you can find most of my fics, especially the most recent ones. The NMS has links where you can find the oldest fics in order by release. Check it out for some old goodies!
Here is a random link to a bias-tier-list, almost fresh and new lol! btw: I have written 40 groups and 108 different idols as of April 2024
Masterlist for fics No. 1 to 50 here!
Masterlist for fics No. 51 to 100 here!
-100-
Eleven to One: Hate You Lots ft. Yujin, Minju, Chaewon
When Life Gives You Bandmates, Make A Mess Out Of Them ft. Yunjin, Kazuha
Master['s] Ball[s] ft. Yena
T[w]o find love, [never three] ft. Gaeul, futa!Chaehyun
(Wonyoung x Girlcock Rei & Yujin, 2.5k Words) Tags: The Rock, The Yock, Making a Wony Sandwich, No holes barred, Well okay maybe some, Too many creampies, But not enough creampies for Wony, Wonyongism at its finest, An inspirational tale, No hydration required, Sex
Wonyoung. The perfect girl, the perfect idol. With perfect lips and perfect face and perfect body and perfect attitude and perfect wealth and perfect arousal. Arousal that must be slaked in the most perfect fashion with the most perfect lovers, who naturally must show their appreciation of such a goddess by climaxing indecently soon after arrival; to best show just how perfect Wonyoung is in the bedroom. Wonyoung's adoring and fanatical followers demanded no less from their embodiment of perfection, of Wonyoungism. But there are, of course, exceptions to this rule. Persons who are allowed to enjoy the fleshly delights of divinity to their fullest extent, who are praised for showing such vigor and stamina, who are loved and loathed in equal measure for bringing her such obvious pleasure. And one of those people's names was... Gary. Well, only sometimes, by her fans, otherwise she was widely beloved as Rei Naoi, She Of the Pouty Face, the other was simply An Yujin, who was pretty damn hot and knew it too. These two other members of IVE were always allowed to make a Wonyoung-sandwich, and Dive LOVES watching that shit.
Wonyoung sits prettily upon the edge of her bed, perhaps for a live, perhaps about to film a tiktok, perhaps about to film herself getting plowed into next week, but we shan't worry ourselves about the details. She certainly won't. Perched there with that expression of knowing innocence, knowing that nearly everyone will see through her demure facade and notice that Wonyoung was in fact, stark naked. And she was not alone, Rei and Yujin lounge on either side of her, similarly lacking in clothes, and surprisingly to some, currently wielding girlcocks of impressive proportions (Wonyoung's girl penis, when it appears, is referred to as "The Wock" and is widely idolized for is sublime proportions and ejaculatory power.). The Naock was strong and girthy, its head thicker than its root, matching its owner's bratty personality perfectly, as well as her curvaceous body. The Yock meanwhile was narrow and long, not perversely so, but its supporters had a tendency to fantasize about measuring it with their hands, and its master's laid-back yet sultry temperament suited it well. The Naock. The Yock. Both had their adherents, but only one girl was getting to enjoy them tonight.
Wonyoung smiles modestly as her delicate hands wrap around those meaty monsters, deftly stroking them to ensure that they are fully erect, as if her mere presence was not enough to stiffen any phallus to its fullest extent. Rei and Yujin share a glance. Rei's lips pout. Yujin's split into an easy grin. The usual then. Without warning Rei pulls Wonyoung atop her, her broad dick slapping rigidly against that goddess's perky cheeks, before its wide tip was placed against Wonyoung's celebrated entrance. The Naorod barges its way into Wonyoung's pampered pussy, stretching her hallowed hole with its brutish size until it is firmly within her, an impressive display of vaginal talent to accommodate such a dong with ease. But Wonyoung is not yet finished astonishing her virtual audience, as Yujin takes her place behind her, pressing her unlubricated spear against Wonyoung's rear, The Yock slithers into Wonyoung's permanently unfouled innards, miraculously fitting every inch of itself inside of Wony, when surely it was so long it must be coming out of her mouth!
That very mouth is now open, and emitting the sweetest moans imaginable, not in surrender to those inferior penises, since Wonyoung is superior to ALL penises, even those of IVE (It has been largely agreed that strap-ons do not count as penii, following Wonyoung's spectacular encounters with Miss Ryujin and Mommy Jihyo.), but rather a modest acknowledgement of being so graciously pleasured. Those angelic sounds barely grow in volume as Rei and Yujin worship Wonyoung's divine body with their engorged womanhoods, thrusting themselves into her with great enthusiasm. Both girls are groaning loudly in appreciation of this avatar of perfection, their swaying balls slapping against one another penitentially whenever their movements synchronize, their cocks grinding against each other inside of Wony. Rei's short, powerful thrusts contrasting pleasingly with Yujin's long, languid strokes, ensuring that Wonyoung's insides are suitably churned and rearranged.
But not for long, of course. Even armed with such splendid penises, Rei and Yujin are panting as they desperately try and keep their swollen sacks from emptying themselves; a futile task when the goddess Wonyoung is involved. The Yujock is first across the finish line, hosing Wony's guts with seed like a broken fire hydrant, every shuddering thrust accompanied by yet another jet of watery fluid. The Nock soon follows, erupting like a volcano filling every crevice of Wonyoung's pussy with her glutinous load, no doubt intent on impregnating her divine womb, but everyone knew girlcocks' sperm was infertile (This was in fact, an incorrect assumption created to diffuse worries about idols knocking one another up. Inner-group pregnancies are in fact a fast growing issue in 4th and 5th generation girl groups, with an estimated 21% of all idols onstage being with child at any one time.). When the pair pull out of Wonyoung, Yujin's emissions practically spew out of her open anus, while Rei's sperms turgidly drips out of the fertile confines of her now gaping pussy.
Anyone else would have then put those seraphic lips to good use and cleaned their members using them, but Rei and Yujin have more important things to do, namely, fucking the holes they actually want to. Not that they mind their previous confines of course, but Rei is a butt girl. She likes it in the butt. When she has the Rock she enjoys putting it in other people's butts. She would be more than happy to put it in your butt. And Yujin much prefers a nice throat or pussy to fill, she likes the more intimate feel of breeding her lovers while kissing them, or having them kiss her crotch with her balls against their chin. But Wonyoung's pampered pussy is a touch inflexible, and purportedly struggles to take every inch the Yock, while her tight rosebud of an asshole was not made for such rudely colossal objects as the Naorod. So her internal sexual anatomy much prefers the current arrangement. But Rei and Yujin failed anatomy class, so they're going to make it work anyways.
Wonyoung gets woman-handled onto her side, those long elegant legs now on full display, but her lovers have more stimulating things to hump, namely her pristinely sloppy holes. That serene expression barely flickers when Yujin enters her first, mostly on account of the fact that Wony's pussy was still graciously gaping for Yujin, though she cannot go in all the way, yet. Rei meanwhile is struggling, Wony's lovely little asshole not all too pleased to discover the size of the phallus knocking against it, but there was enough semen and enough anal juices and enough congealed pussy juices and most importantly, enough stubborn force, that the Naock batters its way in. Wonyoung lets out a languid sigh of joy as Rei's girthy member gouges its way into her guts, even as Yujin starts really trying to get all those spongy inches into her most precious place. But after enough graceful screaming and more than a little vigorous thrusting, both ladies can confidently say they are filling their precious Wonyoung to the hilt, who gratefully shows her appreciation by politely climaxing all over Yujin; which naturally means Yujin is now climaxing; which naturally means all that clenching and pulsating is driving Rei over the edge as well. Such harmonic beauty!
But now that they were nestled inside their (mostly) favorite orifices, neither idol seems much interested in doing something like, say, pulling out. Which is only just and right for the watching adherents of Wonyoungism, if they had penis, magical or otherwise, they too would be loath to stop worshipping their goddess, and so the two don't. The pair happily churn and roil their own loads together with the others using their girlcocks, pumping and humping and plowing until the bedroom echoes with the sound of soothing squelching. Wony is, of course, loving every second of this, how could she not be enjoying her two dear friends showering her with affection, sweat, and impressively large quantities of semen (internally at least)? And she expresses her satisfaction vocally, and with great confidence, so much so that Yujin is reminded of her true preference when it comes to Wonyoung Holes. The Yock emerges from the Wussy, followed by a flood of Yum and Yemen, spewing out down the Weeks and dribbling onto the plush carpet, before Yujin clambers onto the bed and makes use of Wony's sweet little mouth.
It is necessary then, to further describe our heroines: Rei, with her big pouty cheeks, big pouty lips, big pouty thighs that support her big pouty ass, big pouty breasts that wobble poutily with each pouty thrust of her big pouty Naock; Yujin, who is one hot sultry mama who everyone can visualize with ease; and of course, Wonyoung, who is perfect from the tip of her dainty toes to the top of her voluminous head, from the delicate nipples gracing her perky breasts to the soft curves of her rear, from the limber sleekness of her legs, to the taut harmony of her stomach... Except that last part is presently incorrect, as Wony's tummy is red and bulging, and is busy bulging ever larger with each creamy spurt of semenal fluid Rei unloads into her innards. Spotting this, and not wanting her dear Wonyo to worry her darling fans by suddenly vomiting several buckets worth of Reimen so soon into the live, Yujin responds in kind from her place at Wonyoung's other entrance to her digestive system. Soon the Yujin is fucking Wony's face with as much gusto as Rei is with Wony's butt (Rei having little desire to unmount Wony's butt, being a butt girl after all), her weighty balls slapping gently against Wonyoung's sculpted chin while they pulsate continuously, ensuring a steady stream of her own jizz is going down the proper direction.
It becomes a contest then, to see who will cause the other's girlcock to be violently expelled from that goddess of grace and fashion Wonyoung, erupting free in a tide of intermingled semen. Yujin, though having a late start, has the benefit of having her shlong an arms-length down Wony's throat, nicely sealing that end, while Rei's stubby dong is steadied by the fact that Wony's cute little asshole is stretched to the limit around it, meaning there is little chance of leakage. Wonyoung, obviously, avails herself by being ever so fantastically gorgeous, as well as having a surprisingly capacious stomach, blissfully content with the fact that she looks as if she is pregnant with triplets. As every Dive knows, Wonyoung birthed IVE herself, so she can easily fit quintuplets in that tummy of hers without any evidence of strain at all. She is obviously mewling with contentment as she lovingly runs her hands down Yujin's supple thighs, her eyes rolling smoothly as those tender lips press against Yujin's crotch. Wony's lower lips are giving similar smooches to Rei as she continues her single-minded anal assault upon Wony's indefatigable rectum (it is a well known fact that Wonyoung's anus is capable of absorbing the most heinous lovemaking with ease, as was previously seen during her eight hour sex session with Ryujin).
With Rei and Yujin climaxing with suitably swift speed (around three minutes per climax, which is allowably long for fellow members of IVE), the pair move Wonyoung into a more conventional position on her hands and knees, allowing them to spitroast her with great vigor and enthusiasm. Each holding onto either Wony's head or waist for support as they fight to keep their gocks inside of her increasingly pressurized insides, since remaining inside of her was much preferable to being outside of her sublime holes. Soon it looks as if Wonyoung's belly contains six, or even seven members of a new idol group (Rei pauses for a moment to waggle her hands up and down), wobbling and swaying gracefully between her sleek arms and thighs. Her elegant face acquires a faintly rosy hue as both of her fellow idols continue their fervent contest, even as they are both steadily being pushed back by the sheer physics of what is contained within her.
A sudden contraction, the fluttering of a muscle, the spasming of an organ, and with an abrupt popping noise, all those slippery inches are suddenly expelled from Wonyoung's throat. The Yujizz follows it out, now thoroughly mixed with Naum, spewing in an unending torrent from Wonyoung's divine lips, locked open in ecstasy as it disgorges the contents of her stomach. Rei cries out in triumph, until a heartbeat later, her girthy shlong is ejected with equal violence, sending her sprawling onto her butt, her cries now one of alarm before they are silenced by a faceful of turgid semen. Those pristine innards languidly extend out from inside of Wonyoung, hosing down the sputtering Rei with ceaseless bursts of shampoo-like cum as Wony's body heroically voids itself from both ends. Yujin is similarly being doused with the sticky fruits of her labor, having been sent staggering backwards, her lower half is now being plastered as Wonyoung endlessly vomits up the seemingly endless supply of seed jammed inside of her. Eventually, Wonyoung unsticks herself from her pose, that pose being the most efficient one to empty a septuplet's worth of semen from her insides, and collapses down into the overflowing puddle pooling beneath her body.
Wonyoung stirs. Wonyoung unburdens. Wonyoung rises. She floats ethereally upright, and strikes a pose as if she was on the Red Carpet, and not the Cummy Sheets, her gorgeous face as serene as always, with a hint of knowing teasing. Knowing that her adoring fans can obviously tell that their goddess was currently only wearing several layers of congealed girl-cum as if it was an expensive evening gown. She gathers her handmaidens, making them recline there at the edge of the bed with their gocks pressed together, the Naock pulsating rigidly against the wobbling length of the Yock as Wonyoung wraps a headband about both of them; lashing the womanhoods together. Wonyoung beatifically seating herself on Rei and Yujin, taking care to use her mostly unused pussy to accommodate such an ample encumbrance. Her expression barely even shifts, as her lovers moan and groan in adoration and thanks for such charity, making sure that the adherents of Wonyoungism see their thanks. Yujin looks as if someone dipped her lower half in wax, yet still retains her naughty smirk, while Rei appears to have had several buckets worth of semen dumped over her head, which she essentially had.
Wonyoung waves her hand in goodbye, contentedly ending yet another insightful and thought-provoking video for her followers to pore over. Yujin and Rei say their own goodbyes as well, mostly by starting to thrust upwards, a sure sign that Wonyoung's benevolence was yet still desired; and Wonyoung responds gracefully by pissing herself, baptizing them both with a sure sign of her favor. After all, who wouldn't want to be pissed on by Wonyoung?
Tags/TW: angst and drama, edgy and unsettling, mentions and description of all the bad things, a cruel story in four acts, no smut, but mentions of sex, desire, depression and mostly suicide
Thanks for 9.090 followers!
(A/N: The worst way to return with sth unsexy that I had lying around. Make of it what you will - I had different plans for this, but I'm happy I got something done. This is fic no. 149. One more to go!)
âFinally!â
âLetâs get outta here.â
âIâm so hungry, God.â
âJake, where is myââ
âEveryone, settle down! The bell doesnât dismiss you, I do!â
A collective groan, some curses in the back of the class, someone drops his backpack. Oh, how cliche.
âLetâs just finish this final paragraph, okay?â
âFine. Iâll read it.â
âThen weâll have this shit over with.â
âNo cursing in my classroom!â
Snickers from the girls to your right, quick, mindless reading to your left, someone drops a pen. Didn't this happen yesterday?
âVery well done. Class is over, have a nice weekend.â
âBut Maâam, itâs only Thursday.â
âOh. My bad. Then weâll see each other tomorrow.â
Two dozens of bags get lifted from the ground, books and paper crammed into tight spaces, someone drops their smartphone. Yes, definitely deja vu.
âShit!â
âWell done, Yena. I bet itâs cracked now.â
The slow turn of a delicate hand. Hundreds of scratches make the glass look like a spiderâs uncarefully spread web. Someone cracks a laugh. Am I dreaming?
âI told you. Now, now, donât cry. Iâll get you some ice cream, hm~?
Yenaâs sobs and Chaewonâs coos can still be heard down the hallway. You shake your head in disbelief. Of course, this exact scenario didn't happen yesterday. It is as close to impossible as winning the yearly lottery daily, but your feeling of deja vu remains. The days blend into one another, nothing significantly changes.
The setting? The same. No one is going to paint over the old, dirty walls of this school to give them a new color, new life. They remain as a seemingly immovable constant, just like the yellow lights at the ceiling or the barely cleaned windows separating the outside from the classroom and the classroom from the floor. Maybe the weather changes, but at this point youâre even uncertain of that. Gray clouds lay on the world, an impenetrable layer that reeks of rain.
The time? The same. Your school's schedule is its most stable factor. The principal enforcing it is as certain as taxes and death. If too many teachers are missing to fill in the gaps, he himself will step in to ensure the absolute maximum of education, even if itâs 5pm. Part of this tyrannical precision is the teacherâs right to extend a lesson past the bellâs ring. It is utterly ineffective, as no one actually listens anymore, but it will never change.
The characters? The same. Not a day goes by where mostly bubbly Yena isnât whining about something, be it the grandest of issues or a lost hair. Her best friend Chaewon is always on her side. With her calm, kind words and envious patience she is the perfect Yin to Yenaâs Yang. Then there is Eunbi, the class representative, with amazing grades, amazing visuals and eyes colder than the arctis. Sakura is everyoneâs crush, a girl who adores video games, looks absolutely beautiful and is a social magnet. Sadly for all the boys, she only has eyes for girls.
You could go on and on about all the other colorful characters in your class, friends, enemies, classmates, but it all leads to the same hole. The hole of repetitiveness. Not only the lives around you seem to be in an endless loopâ you play along perfectly. Your thought processes all wander off into similar directions, your banter with Jimin and Chan is always about the same topics, hell, even your yawns during Mrs. Baeâs classes are perfectly timed. Day in day out, you always stay to your routine.
Isnât it time to break out? To stand up and instead of going home, go to a friend's house? Walk through the park for another hour? Run downtown to eat some fresh churros? Your desire to break out grows, but it cannot overcome your rationale telling you:
Why am I concerned about this? Everyday life looks similar at times. So what.
A shuffle. The sound of a chair scratching over the floor brings the battle ensuing in your mind to a screeching halt and you jump. Someone is still in the classroom with you. This is unusual. Usually, you are the last one to leave. You donât need to take a train or bus to get home, itâs just a fifteen minute walk, so unlike your classmates, you donât need to hurry to the awfully timed public transportation. Today, however, someone decided to break with the loop.
You turn your head to search for the culprit. In the last row, someone sleeps, their head on their crossed arms, chair pushed lightly back to make the position more comfortable. In your many years of school, you have seen a couple of students sleep like this, even during class. Mingi was one of them, but he transferred last year. Yoongi as well, but he got his act together and is almost on par with Eunbi in terms of grades.Â
You are sure itâs her when you see chestnut-colored hair dripping down on all sides of her head. Kim Minju, the quietest person in the class. Itâs been years since you heard her speak a word louder than a whisper. She is always reserved, unapproachable and frankly, you sometimes forget she is still in the same class as you. She is a fitting last remaining option for someone sleeping at their desk.
âHey,â you speak into the room, waiting for Minju to react. She does, by lifting her head up from the scratched surface of her table. Her eyes, slightly hidden by hair all over her face, dart around the room until they find you.
âHey,â she says in a sleepy voice. You canât help but smile. Minju looks somewhat adorable and helpless like this. Although most of her expression is behind curtains of brown locks, she looks like a lost child searching for her parents in a crowded theme park.Â
âAre you okay? Donât you want to go home?âÂ
âLater.â
âLater? But class is already over.â
âYouâre still here too.â
You chuckle a little. Her voice sounds like she is still in dreamland and her head is unable to be upright. She lays on her arms once more. She is odd and you canât help but be intrigued by it. Carefully, you stand up and take the seat next to her. Minju looks at you with surprise in her damp eyes. You wish you could read them better as she hasnât shown signs of being talkative.Â
âThis must not be comfortable. Iâd choose a bed over this any day.â
âItâs fine.â
You sigh as Minju turns her face away from you. This has been fun while it lasted, but she is frustrating to talk to. If sheâd resent you, she would have already told you to piss off, but with this not being the case you feel like youâre just annoying her.Â
âYour choice. Iâll go now though.â
âOkay.â
âSee you tomorrow!â
No further words from her. Minju is clearly not mentally in this place. Is this the fate of those who only dream and donât listen in class, you ask yourself while stepping out of the room. If so, she needs to be pulled out of it quickly. Somehow.
#
Today is not going to be the same. This sentiment has been stuck in your mind ever since you woke up. However, you havenât really acted like it. Your alarm went off the same minute it always does, you listen to the same three songs while chewing on your favorite cereal and watching the same show. Teeth brushing and time to sprint to school have remained at their bare minimum, hell, the list could go on and on. Your sentiment has just been a faint thought. Until you step into the classroom.
âAnd then, and then he didnât respond.â
âAw, I think it will be fine. You wrote him so late, he probably just fell asleep.â
âEveryone, please stay calm! The teacher is coming.â
Yena is whining about something, some boy from the grade above or below. Again. Chaewon is comforting her with the patience of all the angels in all the heavens. Again. Eunbi is urging everyone to sit down with pronounced gestures and a loud voice. Again. Itâs like youâve heard these exact sentences before. This is beyond absurd and you have to do something. You will do something.Â
Before Mrs. Kang starts the lesson, you take a longer route to your desk. With full intention, you pass by Minjuâs desk and knock on it twice. Like yesterday, her messy head lifts from her arms and you try to find her eyes through the veil of her greasy hair.Â
Doing something absurd like this has left you without a plan, without any words to speak, so you just put on a dumb smile. Minju doesnât return it. She simply flops back onto her arms. Itâs like reality is forcing everyone into their positions and if you donât fight back, it might just get you as well. You sit down on your chair and look at the unamused girl as the first couple of lines are drawn onto the board.Â
The lesson comes and goes like a soft wind. As soon as Mrs. Kang wraps it up, you have already forgotten everything she said. Your mind is solely stuck on how to get this terrible loop of everyday life out of your system. For some reason, you feel that the answer is with Minju, this one girl you never had anything to do with. She looks like the epitome, the greatest victim of the problem. It's time you do something for real, with a proper plan.
âHey,â you approach her again, as the rest of your classmates fall into their usual, loud chaos.
âHey,â Minju responds. It scares you how she has the same tone as yesterday. Maybe she hasnât had enough sleep and rushes to school just for attendance. Her hair has also not been washed, itâs even dirtier and messier now. She kind of reminds you of a lone wolf, abandoned by everyone.Â
âUhm, I donât know how to say this and maybe Iâll sound stupid, butââ
You grab yourself a chair and sit down in front of Minjuâs table. Finally, she is bestowing you with a look over her folded arms.
ââI noticed, like, how do I put it, everything is so repetitive and bland, itâs really bugging me.â
âYou think so?â she whispers dryly.Â
âOf course! Everyone is saying the same stuff, does the same stuff, likeâjust look at Yena! She is always whining. And Jimin is always teasing Jun. And youâre always sleeping. Iâm sorry, itâs just bothering me.â
You end your small tantrum with a sigh and hope that none of the mentioned took notice of it. It felt good letting off this steam, you were really pent up until now. However, you doubt that it was the right way to start a conversation with someone who is basically a stranger.Â
To your surprise, Minju starts to sit upright and plug some of her long strands behind her cute ear. Her eyes scrutinize you while her face remains blank, unamused. Then she bluntly speaks, almost at a normal volume:
âUh-huh, and why are you telling me this?â
âBecause I want to do something I have surely never done. Something that will end this vicious circle at least for a day, maybe two.â
âYou can do that on your own. Why do you need me for that?â
âW-well, I think maybe it could be something interesting for you too.â
Minju still doesnât look convinced. Who could blame her? The way you come out of nowhere and act like a slightly crazy person wouldn't convince most people to take action. In panic you stare at the ground to your left, to your right, trying to find some words to explain yourself, beforeâ
âHmph, you are weird. Would it be enough if we met on the weekend?â
You look at Minju in surprise. Did she just suggest that? The whisper, the calm, dry voice with not too much enthusiasm couldnât be anyone else.
âI think we never saw each other on a non-school day, so why donât we just meet at the gate?â
âI knew you would understand me!â you shout triumphantly and almost jump from your chair, âWe can meet at the gate and see where the day leads us. You okay with that, Minju-ah?â
Minju nods slowly and a faint smile appears on her adorable cheeks. You find it amazing how she still looks so pretty, even with her lack of make-up and wild hair. She could look superbly stunning with just a bit more care put towards her face, hair and body. But you wonât judge her on that. Maybe she just had a bad day. Maybe she never cared about stuff like this in general.
âGreat, then weâll see each other the day after tomorrow?â
âOkay.â
#
Tap. Tap. Tap. The tip of your blue and gray shoes hit the paved ground in front of the closed gate. After all these years, itâs the first time you notice how smooth the black rocks beneath you are. All the footwear scratching over them for all those years polished them to the point where faint sunlight gets reflected.Â
Itâs been quite a while since you woke up this excited. Your alarm went off at nine and with an unbridled excitement and unwarranted, but great expectation, you filled your backpack. Water, snacks, spare clothes, small games, more snacksâitâs like you prepared for a children's birthday party, sleepover included.Â
And like a child you stormed out of the house, early enough to not annoy your parents and take a very different route. You wandered through small alleyes, the smell of rain still oozing from the gray asphalt and beige walls. Although you enjoyed it, you wished for the sun to come outârain, rain, go awayâyou are literally a child and for today, that is okay.
Your wish came true. The light gray of the clouds was no match for the sun and small patches of sky blue pop up with every minute you wait. Now, itâs only Minju who is missing. The catalyst for why you finally got over the hump and out of the lulling everyday life. Sheâll be here any minute. Sheâs never been late for school, something she obviously isnât very fond of, so she wonât be late for this either.Â
But why her? Why did it take her for you to do something like this? There is a weekend for your taking every five school days. You couldâve just ran out or called a friend and do anything but mold in your room for endless hours. It might be the thrill of something absurd, new, unnecessary but necessary. Your questions come to a halt when you hear footsteps.
You look up to see all the perfect variations of brown. Minju wears a wool dress with a stylish checkered pattern in various dirty colors, orange, green but mainly brown. Underneath the dress, a tight, cozy looking turtle neck wraps around her torso and arms in the color of chocolate chip cookies. Across her chest is the leather sling of her almost black handbag. Above all however, is the brown of her hair. Not greasy and unwashed as the days before, but smooth and combed, tugged behind her ear it hides her shoulders. Brunette excellence that delights your heart.
She stops before you. With an awkward sway, she avoids looking at you. The way her lips press together looks adorable, you canât help but smile and disrupt the silence.
âHello, Minju! So awesome that you could make it.â
âHe-hey,â she waves at you instead of keeping eye contact for long. This seems to not be her cup of tea, but you wonât let your mood get dampened. She will hopefully get into it.
âI had a lot of ideas of what we could do,â you begin and straighten your back. Even like this, you arenât that much taller than the girl wearing her, of course, brown shoes, âBut first, I wanted to know what you think. What are you feeling today?â
âWhat I feel?â
Her eyes force your attention on them. Now that you can look into them mostly undisrupted with better lighting than in the classroom, you see a certain dullness, listlessness, even lifelessness in them. It takes you out of your childish dreams, the naivete that builds up. You take a step closer towards her. She tenses up.
âI-I just mean, what you felt like doing today. If youâre not feeling well or anything, thatâs fine. A-are youââ
âNo, no, itâs okay.â
She laughs it off with a wave of her soft hands and takes a step back. You can feel that something is off. Maybe you got her on a bad day. Or maybe even in a bad time, judging from how she looked throughout the week. Itâs not the perfect day to make her jump over some mental barriers. Or maybe, this is the perfect day after all. The day to wake up, to get life back into your veins, to feel it again.Â
You smile at her and scratch the back of your head.
âOkay then. Do you have anything in mind? Your dress looks unfit for a round of rugby, so I guessâŠâ
âWait, what?â Minju furrows her eyebrows, but then falls into laughter when she sees your playful smirk, âOh, for a second I thought!â
You see her laughing face for just a split second before she hides it behind her hand. Itâs cute, heartwarming even and you instinctively join her. In this moment, where all tension is lost in a simple joke, you forget that this is the first time you heard Minju laugh. In your presence, sheâs never been this loud and bright before.Â
Itâs like the clouds open just a tad bit moreâthe same way your relationship might open up a bit more on this simple day.
âI canât believe you thought that, Minju-ah. How should I fit a rugby ball and a dozen other players in this backpack?â you playfully mock her and she gets shy, while still giggling.
âI dunno, Iâm sorry. That was just dumb.â
âNuh-uh, youâre fun. I might not have a ball inside here, but I have this.â
You open up one of the many zippers and pull out two candy bars. The see-through plastic holds sweet caramel and toffee wrapped in chocolate. Sweetness wrapped in brown goodnessâjust like Minju, but you wonât make that joke. This is not a date with flirts but a rebellion against dullness. You hand one of the bars to Minju. Her eyes light up.
âWhat? I love those! How did you know?â
âI guess Iâm good at guessing, I guess.â
âTs, you sound like a child,â Minju mockingly replies, but opens the plastic wrap with child-like anticipation and urgency. You chuckle and observe how this sleepy head became lifely with just some candy.Â
âIâm okay with being a child. We can go to the playground if you want.â
You take the first steps downtown and Minju follows you, her full mouth protesting your decision.Â
âNo, stop. I, yum, made up my mind.â
âYou always speak with your mouth full?â
âN-no. Shush, letâs go grab something. I want, hm, a smoothie. Or ice cream.â
You smile that she finally found something, but you canât stop teasing the cutie that finally caught up to you.
âAnd then we go to the playground?â
A hit on your shoulder.
âYah! Iâll make up my mind, pabo.â
#
âOh man, that was something,â you sigh, taking off the 3D-glasses. From smoothies and ice cream, you somehow got out of her that she wanted to go watch a 3D-movie at the other part of town. It still took more convincing from you until she told you which movie it was. Although itâs certainly not your type of film, you still went with her.Â
âIt was so good! When I thought I got all the clues, they still tricked me.âÂ
Minju has her fingers cutely formed into a fist as you too walk out of the theater and onto the street. Although itâs not yet completely dark, you feel the evening coming and this fun day ending. As Minju still goes on about how intriguing the case was and how she thought the gardener was the murderer, you tap her shoulder.
âI still donât get why this is a 3D-movie. Like, why? Why have these effects for a detective movie?â
âYouâre a pabo. Itâs to pick up on the clues better! Ts, I told you that.â
âWell, maybe Iâm just too dumb for these movies,â you rub the back of your neck and watch the annoyed, but finally fully alive Minju become flustered. She pouts and pulls at your arm.
âI-I didnât mean it like that. I hope you still liked it, Iâm sorry.â
âMinju-ah, Iâm playing around! Looks like youâre the pabo.â
It baffles you. How can this girl look even cuter, with this shocked, angry, playfully fun expression on her fairy-like features? You feel your heart filled with warmth. Your mind is freed at the sight of Minju and at the thought of how the two of you got out of this loop. Nothing is the same as before.Â
âItâs getting late,â you say and take a quick look at your phone to confirm the time, âShould I accompany you home? It might be dark before you get there.â
They fall. Minjuâs bright eyes sink. The glow in them gets tainted by the dullness from before; but also pain. Pain thatâs also in her weak smile that she canât keep upright for long. Minju frowns and looks to the side, away from you. Suddenly, itâs all reset. Back to the beginning. You canât let that happen.
âItâs of course fine if you want to go alone. O-or I could call your mum andâŠâ
Minju fidgets, her delicate hand tightly wrapped around the leather of her handbagâs sling. She stares onto the tip of her feet. She looks cold, lost, like a forgotten child in the midst of an endless crowd of people. Things turn dark, not only because the clouds once again hide the sun, but also because Minjuâs voice isnât filled with excitement, but downright mourning.
âMum, no. No, itâs okay. Thank you, but Iâll go home on my own.â
âAre you sure? Is there, is there some way I can help?â
âI thinkââ
Minju hesitates. Her fingers fiddle with her dress, then with each other, before she stuffs them into her pocket. She gives you an apologetic look, one that tries to convince you that there is nothing to hide and that things are just the way they are. Your heart tells you to not play along. There is something thatâs really hurting her. So bad that it turns her back to the Minju, sleeping through life and all it has to offer. You have to lift the veil, youâ
ââI should go on my own. Itâs not that far, nothing will happen, hm.â
âOkay, uhm, was nice though.â
Your tongue betrays you. This is not what you want. It might be a smooth way to get out of the awkwardness, but it doesnât get you closer to the problem. Something hurts her and you want to know it.Â
âYeah, it was. Guess Iâll see you in school.â
The last chance, but you wonât take it. No reason to stir up conflict. The day was good, it got you two closer and things inevitably changed. Why risk it?
âYeah. Have a great Sunday, Minju.â
âYou too. Bye.â
She gets a hand out and gives a small wave. A small wave, a small smile, but itâs all rushed and it's painful to look at. The beauty wrapped in all the chocolate colors turns around and quickly steps out of your reach. The reach of your hands, of your eyes, of your voice.Â
âBye.â
#
Sunday went by quickly as it always does and Monday greets you with the usual. Not the kind of usual you can always return to. The restaurant with your favorite vibe, the table in the hidden corner, the always comforting food. This 'usual' is what you're looking for, not the same old gray in the sky, same old cracks in the walls, same old chatter in the classroom. It's jarring.Â
It makes you appreciate your new friend more. Minju is not quite usual today. She doesnât look gloomy, her silky, clean hair is crested with a cute, pink barrette and she greets you with a smile and a wave. The usually dark bags below her eyes are partially hidden by a simple, yet effective touch of make-up. Minjuâs beauty shines through her imperfections and you find yourself slightly blushing at the sight.
âHey,â you say with a small smile and carefully place your elbows on her desk.
âHey,â Minju responds, backing off a tiny bit. She reaches for her notebook. Itâs blue, mostly tattered and the pages are empty. âOh no,â she mouths, eyes still drawn to her bag below.
âAre you alright? Need something?â
âI⊠I think I forgot my pencil case,â she whispers shyly and tries to hide her face.Â
âOh, I can give you one of mine.â
Hand her the pen and she bows thankfully. You both smile at each other a final time, before the teacher enters the room. You get ready to shuffle your chair back to your desk, but Minjuâs soft voice makes you freeze in place. Itâs like she opens the gate to new possibilities with just a couple of words.
âI hope, uhm, that you had a nice Sunday.â
âTh-thanks, Minju, I hope you did⊠too.â
#
Tuesday rolls around, and you couldnât care less about the mundane things. You are excited to go to school, to meet Minju. You are excited about the brewing suspicions of your friends, which takes them out of their usual character a bit and makes the bickering interesting. With all this excitement, you swing open the door to the classroom. Everything, everyone is in order. Their eyes are on you as the door crashes against the wall with a loud boom. Your eyes are on Minjuâs seat. Itâs empty.
âEy! Watch out!â Chaewon yells at you, as she tightly holds Yenaâs hands. The duck-like girl quivers in fear. You must have scared her quite a lot. Tears pool in her eyes and you give her an apologetic bow.
âIâm sorry you two, I should have been more careful. Do you by any chance know where Minju is?â
Both girls shake their heads and Chaewon continues to glare at you, like she wants to stab you with a poison-filled syringe. Not that you would care. Minju not being here is a far greater concern to your mood. You fear that the day might immediately fall into the same rhythm, so you hold onto the hope that she is just late and will walk through the door at any moment. Maybe she will have the same enthusiasm as you did.
But it doesnât happen. Not on Tuesday, not on Wednesday. The clouds do not part for two days. To say that it dampens your mood would be an understatement. Worry and annoyance have a hold on your thoughts, what teachers, parents, friends say is a nuisance and mostly forgotten. In some moments, it feels like a foul stench lingers around the campus. It gets even worse when, out of spite, you walk the same route you and Minju took a couple of days ago.Â
You get angry at every stop, but this anger is short-lived and when you stand in front of the cinema, it turns to sadness. The kind of sadness that twists your stomach and leaves you speechless at its intensity. If only you knew where Minju lives or what her phone number was. Those irrational worries that brew in your mind could just be gone. They range from her just being ill with a cold to something terrible has happened with her mother. You clearly remember how quickly all her joy and hype faded when you just mentioned the word âmumâ.Â
Shake your head and head home. Tomorrow, Minju might just be back and if not, youâll do everything in your power to confirm that she is alright. On Friday, you will ask her to meet again, and visit the park. You want to ask her a lot of questions and then, everything will solve itself.Â
#
You breathe a sigh of relief when Minju is in her seat early Thursday morning. Most of your classmates are probably still riding the bus or just waking up, depending on how they usually go about their day, so itâs just you two and Eunbi in the far corner. She studies geometry with her black headphones on. It basically feels like you're alone with Minju.Â
You cheerfully walk up to her, hand raised for a greeting. When you take a closer look at the girl however, you see her hair in a worse mess than ever before. Itâs like someone took a pair of scissors and cut strands off at random spots. The hazelnut chaos spreads over her cheeks and what might look like bad bangs partially covers her eyes. Dark, tiny, motionless, except there is something flickering in them with unbridled ferocity. Minjuâs pale skin is exceptionally pale against the large, black bags below her eyes. Her lips are dry and purple.
âMinju, are you alright?â you carefully ask and lower your hand. Your delighted mood is gone, dead, like the look on Minjuâs face and her sorry posture. She looks frozen to the chair, only her knees shake as if she were in the arctic desert.Â
âIâm cold,â she answers, her voice tiny, dry. She coffs and you almost leap to help her. But you are not there yet. There is still no proper friendship where you can just cross the boundary and touch her.Â
âCan I help you with that? I can turn up the heater⊠or give you my jacket.â
You take off your jacket and Minju remains motionless. Her hands are in her lap, one resting on the other, the nails painted awfully messy. Her gaze mostly stays on them.Â
âNo need, Iâm just cold.â
Minju looks like she is falling, continuously, into an endless void. Itâs darker than her eyes as they close and she starts to cry. However, there is no sob to hear or tears to catch. Minju just cries, in her own way and you feel powerless to step in. You canât catch her, something is physically pulling you back. Your heart may mourn at the sight, but what is there to do, to say, to make things better?
âC-can I ask what happened? You looked so lively a couple of days ago, and nowââ
Your heart spoke those words. They are like a scream to evoke some reaction out of her, but Minju doesnât stop the sorrow overtaking her more and more. You groan in sad frustration. This sight hurts you, you canât deal with it. You gently place your jacket on her desk and see her looking at it for a second.Â
âIâm sorry, I have no right to justââ You pause and ponder on a better choice of words, âIâll be at my seat. If you need anything, Iâm right there.â
Soon, all your other classmates stream into the room and take their usual positions. None of them seem to acknowledge Minju. For them, she is a figure in the background, one that might have changed a bit and even missed a couple of days, but they remain the same. Illness with two days absence plus a new âhaircutâ? Surely you wouldnât notice it on a random classmate.Â
At the start of the first lesson, your very picky and meticulous math teacher immediately notices your jacket on Minjuâs table. You know his eyes are locked in on it and he will call Minju out any second now. But then he hesitates, takes a closer look at the disheveled girl, and looks through the class register. His face contorts like he is in pain. This is very unlike him, and it wouldâve intrigued you more if it werenât for the gloomy feeling in your heart.
âOkay everyone, letâs start⊠start with, uhm. Chaewon, please tell the class what we did last lesson.â
The teacher continues to be out of sync with how he would normally act. At the end of the lesson, he calls Minju upfront. Now youâre the one frozen on the seat and watch helplessly as he calmly and concerningly speaks to her. You canât hear him this far back, and the question is, if Minju is able to pick up any of it. She looks down at the tip of her shoes and does not react at all.Â
This goes on for the entire day. You canât bear it anymore. With a final look over your shoulder, you dart out of the classroom quickly. The image in your brain is still the same: a helpless, frozen Minju, a withering girl with an unhearable cry. You notice the only difference a little bit too late, as it is barely noticeable.
Minjuâs tender cheeks have the wet trails of tears.
#
Once again, Minju is not at school. This occurrence is so unusual, everyone is acting out of character. Different rumors shoot through the classroom, and they all negate each other. No one has a clue of what is happening, but they all do have an opinion. Chaeyoung in the last row says that she is probably just late, while Chan strongly believes that she is still sick and that the math teacher told her to stay home for longer. Julia has the harshest opinion though.
âI bet she is fully embracing her lazy life. She will either fail or drop out soon. Thatâs how it goes.â
You cover your ears. Everyone spouts nonsense, although they didnât even talk to her yesterday. How can they be so sure? What do they know about her? Nothing. It frustrates you. The only people not involved in this except for you are Jimin, who stands by your side against these unnecessary allegations, and Chaewon and Yena. The two girls are entangled in a tight embrace and their heads are probably in a very different place right now.
Suddenly, the door bursts open. Your home room teacher and the principal walk in, both wearing a very serious expression on their faces. The rowdy class shuts up instantaneously. As if connected by one strand of nerves, everyoneâs backs straighten. A gut wrenching tension fills the room, as the home room teacher sighs deeply and leans onto the front desk.
âIâthis, this is hard. Excuse me, I need a second,â he says and stumbles a step forward. He is clearly not drunk, but his mind is dizzy with some heavy burden. The principal walks next to him and guides him towards a chair. Then he takes his glasses off, all fingers in a light tremble. You notice cold sweat all over his features. Itâs contagious and creeps up your back.
âClass, I need you to stay strong, okay?â he begins and rubs the inside of his eyes, âI hate that I have to say this, but I hate even more that it happened. This morning, your classmate Kim Minju wasââ
The principal pauses. Itâs not long enough to make a large difference in his sentence, but itâs so big, you can hear the rapid pace of your heartbeat. Itâs in your chest, your ear, your thumb. The burning red liquid rushes through your body. It meets the cold feeling of the goosebump and cold sweat on your skin, and this fusion almost makes you throw up. Your body gets torn to shreds, your mind is clouded. All in one pause that doesnât really exist.
ââfound dead in her home. She, she took her own life.â
In one moment, reality couldnât be more surreal yet realistic. The stark contrast between a fragile dream and concrete reality resonates with everyone. It cannot be true, but it is. This is where they start with denial and move all the steps up to acceptance. But how can you accept the unacceptable? The voices of your classmates are background noise, but they are also all that is left. Air, matter, gravity, light, life, they all do not exist. Only the sound of gasps, cries and everything in between.
Then there is you, in pale freefall, just like the snowflakes outside. No one said it was going to snow today, yet it does. No one said Minju would kill herself today, yet she did. No one said deal with it, yet you do. You deal with it. Life goes on.
You throw your head forward and vomit over your desk. A lie knocks on your brain, on your stomach, and you vomit again. Sadly, you donât have a reflex that will expel the disgusting shield of cold indifference out of your head. You know you will stop caring but you want to suffer. You want to hold on to Minju, the beautiful, quiet girl in class that was never supposed to walk down this dark aisle.Â
âYouâre such an asshole at times, I swear to God.â
Yena giggles as her head rests on your shoulder. Her bare hand rubs over your sweaty, equally bare pecs. These muscles were forged in the nearby gym and Yena has them all to herself. Itâs basically an equivalent exchange, because Yena is no slouch when it comes to taking care of her own body. Abs and a thin waist, they look the best when sheâs fully nude. And nude she surely is. Youâre each other's trophies.
âAm I?â you ask and blow out the smoke of your cigarette. You told her a story about something, something you donât care to remember. What or whoever it might have been about probably lost and you won. Such is life. You carefully put an arm around Yena and look at the orange-gray glow of your cigarette. Your girlfriend pouts.
âBabe, be real with me for a second.â
âIâm real every second, Yena, I donât ever lie.â
âBabe, Iâm serious here!â
Yena turns to you. Her stern eyes pin you to the backboard of the bed. This is no time to joke. You hastily put the glowing stick in the ashtray and the two used condoms out of harm's way. Yena then puts her arm on your nape and you have a hard time not staring at her heaving bosom but instead at the duck-like lips that pout cutely.
âDo you really love me?â she asks quietly.
âOh, I see how it is,â you respond with a relieved sigh. Poke both her cheeks as you usually do in these types of situations. Yenaâs tension comes out through her nose like the air of a balloon.Â
âYou are the hottest, prettiest, most desirable and most likable girl in the classâno, in the entire school.â
âBabe,â Yena blushes,âthose were too many. Youâre supposed to only list three things.â
âHuh? But what if I wanted to list more? Cuz itâs true.â
âForget it,â she waves off, still blushing. âAm I though? What about Yuri or Eunbi?â
âOkay, if you want me to list all of them,â you say, slightly annoyed, but you clear your throat regardless. âYuri is too crazy and not even close to your body, Eunbi is probably already married, also aloof, Sakura is gay, Hyewon is gayââ
âWait, Hyewon likes girls?âÂ
âDonât tell me you didnât notice. Seriously, the way she stares at Yuri all the time. Anyways, she is gay. Hitomi is not my type cause sheâs too small, Chaewon is your best friend and not as pretty as youââ
âBut she is so pretty!â
âJeez, Yena, weâll never finish it like this. Who did I forget?â
Both you and Yena ponder for a second, but if youâre quite honest, you do not want this argument to continue. You surely forgot a couple of girls in your class, but none of them can match Yena. She should know that, even if you donât throw the L-word around a lot. When you do it, itâs only towards her.
âThere is Minju,â Yena says in a moment of enlightenment.
âWho?â you respond. Donât bother with the jarring task to remember who this might be.
âThe quiet girl that sits in the middle of the classroom. With long, brown hair, itâs literally super long, I bet she never cuts and rarely washes it.â
âOh I see. Yeah, no. Who the fuck cares about Minju?â
You turn to the side to cough. Yenaâs face still doesnât look amused so you do the one thing that will surely shut her up. Cup her cheeks in your strong hand and kiss her on the ducky lips. Add a simple âI love youâ, and she relaxes. Her slender, naked body topples atop of yours. Finally, itâs time to go to sleep.
#
You wake up to the sound of a bell ringing. History class is over, and as per usual, you took a nice long nap at the end of it. Or throughout it. History has always been boring to you. Old guys did some things sometime in the past, wow, so impressive. It would only be a slight nuisance, but Yoongi and Eunbi always have to act smart about it. As if it actually mattered.Â
Can they touch the past, like you can touch Yenaâs midriff right now? Surely not. The young woman squeals at your touch and you quickly pull her onto your lap. Thank God she cares as little about any dress codes as you. Even on these mild spring days she already wears clothes exposing, no, downright flexing her abs to your classmates. They see and they drool, but the only one allowed to touch them is you.
âYou look sleepy, babe,â Yena says as she cups your face to inspect it.Â
âHistory, Yena, history,â you respond and force your tiny eyes wide open. Five more minutes until the next teacher arrives. Might as well enjoy the time by showing off your best trophy. Yena is better than the push-up and benchpress records, not only because she is great in bed, but also because she actually makes other people jealous.Â
Lift her onto your lap and give her a loud, proud and obvious hickey on her exposed neck. Yena holds onto your shoulders and holds her breath as if she would burst into moans and groans at any moment. After your deed is done, you triumphantly turn your head around. Scan the class, because someone is always looking. They canât help themselves. Poor bastards.
âLook at her,â Yena whispers. She must be doing the same thing.
âWho?â you respond, unable to find the girl Yena alluded to.
âMinju, the one with the long, messy hair, right in the middle.â
There she is, barely three meters away from you, yet in a different realm of existence. Brown eyes lock onto yours, though you canât make out what emotion they convey. Envy? Disgust? Pity? Well, the last two can easily be attributed to her. Minjuâs entire look is appalling. Greasy hair that sticks together in clumps, dirty clothes that probably smell rancid, and an expression that lacks any kind of care or passion. Truly pitiful.
âWhat are you looking at, huh?â you bark at Minju. The entire class goes silent. They donât have to hide their gazes anymore. They are only bystanders, witnesses to a tension that you know all too well. This is power, this is the way to victory. You will get your way.
Minju simply shakes her head. She rests her head on her crossed arms and goes back to her routine of dozing, as if nothing has happened. Her attitude of indifference is something you did not expect. You cannot allow such disrespectfulness.Â
âGet off,â you whisper to Yena, the anger in your voice not directed at her, but she still follows your command immediately. Slow strides bring you next to Minjuâs desk, who senses your presence. She turns her sleepy head towards you and looks up, the same look in her dark orbs, darker than even the greasiest parts of her hair. You clear your throat in annoyance.
âI asked you a question, didnât I?
âCare to answer it?â
Minju does not budge. She remains frozen below you, but itâs not in the way you want her to be frozen. She should be in fear, trembling, yet not moving at all, but your words, your rough tone does not seem to affect her.
âLemme ask you again: Why were you lookinâ at us?
âI donât care which way you swing, okay? Just letting you know there is nothing to get from us. Yena is mine, okay?
âOkay?â
Youâre basically shouting at this point. Minju finally moves to put her hands up as a shield. You did not intend to punch her, not even a fist of yours is ready to strike. Itâs a relief that your words can still evoke something from her. In a tiny voice that mirrors mice more than humans, Minju answers.
âO-okay. I didnât me-mean to. Sorry.â
âYou didnât mean to what?â you growl back, voice dripping dissatisfaction from her vague response.
âMa-make you envious.â
Pin the palm of her hand to the table below. Minju clearly lacks a quick reaction time. She only starts to gasp when the nail of your thumb drills into her sweaty hand, the pale skin growing paler, then white, and finally red. Minju hisses, but only you can hear the words.
âStop, please.â
âGet lost.â
You leave her be, but not before giving her an angry stare. Behind the helter-skelter of her curtain-like hair, her eyes receive your wrath like a well-deserved punch. Minju drops back into the back of her chair and holds her palm with her other palm. She is reeling like a beaten down boxer.Â
âIâd congratulate you,â Yena snarks when you return to her. âBut she is just a girl, so no respect.â
âI can never let my guard down. Not in front of anyone. Not when itâs about you,â you hum as the usual noise of chatter and laughs returns to the class. A surge of fire fills your chest, your lungs, like youâre a dragon breathing flames of destruction. The feeling of power, of being the strongest, the one who is not reckless enough to let his guard down around the seemingly weak.
If Minju really likes Yenaâ
âI cannot allow her to take your heart.â
âShut it babe, you know I only like guys,â Yena giggles and playfully pushes your shoulder. âWhat am I saying? I only like you.â
Then you kiss her. A bit too passionate for a setting like this, but not passionate enough to still your hunger for more. More of Yena, but also more of this control. No one else can have her, not even a piece of her.Â
#
Damp concrete, a preferable alternative to the deep mud and grass of the nearby forest. You jog with intensity and focus, conquering the streets of your neighborhood. Usually you'd be the king of the trees, sucking in the fresh forest air around you while on the way to the gym, but today you need to take a detour.Â
It's a welcome change if you're honest, especially because the lousy weather keeps prying eyes away. No one to interfere with you and your in-ears, the loud music blasting through the cords as you turn corner after corner until your heels come to a screeching halt on the fine gravel in Rainbow Street.Â
A girl sits on the sidewalk of this street with its very unfitting name. Worn down buildings in a tiny, ugly array of gray and brown shades sit right next to each other. They are a stain in this otherwise genuinely pretty part of town, Rainbow Street my ass, such a tiny street with all the human filth in one spotâand for some reason, this girl decided to sit here, her butt probably sore from the gravel poking it.
"Looks uncomfortable," you say down to the stranger and pull out one of your in-ears. She doesnât move her head out from in between her knees. Hell, in this posture she is certainly developing back problems. With wind blowing into the sleeves of her loose t-shirt, sheâll catch a cold first though.Â
âItâs fine,â she whispers in a low voice, still firmly staring at the ground as if your comment came with the wind and just passed by. Give her a weak, confused smile in pity. Usually, youâd not bat an eye at something like this. This girl probably has a house, where she doesnât have to freeze and she probably also has water and soap to clean her dirty hair, so why bother with pity?
âIs it though?â you say with raised eyebrows. âYou sit on the ground like a pile of misery and wait for the next wave of clouds for what? To let the rain wash your hair?â
You start to laugh at your own joke, which got the girl to finally move a muscle. Slowly she turns towards you and lifts her head even slower, like it hasnât been lifted in a hundred centuries. Your laughter fades as you stare into grim, miserable eyes which stare back in hurt, agony even.Â
âOh, itâs you,â you say and move to put your in-ears back in. âNo business with you.â
âYouâre so mean,â Minju states, her real emotions held behind the blunt statement. âWhy?â
âGet lost, Minju. Thatâs why.â
You jog off, further down the street to quickly reach the gym. Never in your life have you felt the rising feeling of compassion switch to coldheartedness so quickly. For a second you felt like a hero that could save this cute puppy, but in the next, you realized that it actually was the disgusting, wretched Minju who had to flaunt the fact that she clearly lost control over her life.
She doesnât even bother to take a shower or pretend to have any character. No wonder sheâll continue to be nothing but a loser in school.
#
During your workout, you thought more about the wrong classmate than about the right one. Minju, being the wrong one, has no reason occupying the free spaces in your head. Youâd much rather think about Yena, the right classmate, the one with incredible charm and wit. Yena is respected, Yena is envied, Yena is your girlfriend and absolutely amazing. Minju is none of that.
Enraged about Minjuâs sulking expression popping up in front of your inner eye again, you throw down the dumbbells. Someoneâs shouting in anger, others stare. Enough workout for today, you need a distraction. A distraction served by the right classmate.
âYena,â you blurt into your phoneâs speaker the second your girlfriend picks up. âIâll be at your place in 30 minutes, you down?â
âOh my~â she responds and you can already feel her turn in her bed in excitement. âI donât know, donât really like sweaty boys coming into my room~â
âSince when did I come into your room sweaty?âÂ
âIâll make sure youâre gonna be sweaty, babe~â Yena whispers, voice sultry, dripping of lust like the sweat from your forehead and drool from your lips.Â
#
âBabe, promise me something.â
Yena fondles your hair and looks at you with anticipation. Itâs something serious again.
âAnything for you, Yena.â
Wrap your arm around her hip and look at her, relaxed, sweaty, just like she predicted.
âDonât, like, donât get me wrong, it wasnât terrible, but please, babe, donât go too hard on her. Sheâs a girl, you know?â
âWhat are you talking about?â
âMinju and what happened in class.â
You sigh and look away in annoyance. Pull out a cigarette from the back on the nightstand. Your hand recklessly pushes off packets of pills and condoms. Why am I shaking?
âI donât know what you mean,â you say and search for a lighter. âShe was annoying, right? And disrespectful. And I know that there are girls that like girls and that there are girls that might go crazy, especially over you. I know youâre smart Yena, so you get me, right? Itâs not like I beat her up or something.â
You stop yourself from falling deeper into an incoherent mess of bad explanations, but Yena is already side-eyeing you. At least she has a flame for the stick between your lips.
âYeah, you did not beat her, but you went too far. Raising your hand and pressing down hers? Babe, that was not necessary.â
âI did it for you, baby.â
These words roll from your tongue so easily. Whatever counterpoints Yena brings up, you can easily melt her with them, reducing any valid criticism to nothing but dust.
âBut, but sheâs a girlââ
âAnd youâre the only girl for me,â you hum and blow out the smoke before turning towards her. Yena clings onto you like a koala, pouty lips, trembling eyes, and best of all: still fully naked. Press a kiss onto her lips and she gasps.
âBabe, Iââ
âI love you, Yena.â
âMe, me too.â
âLetâs forget other, stupid girls and classes. Youâre the hottest thing since the sun and I want you now, baby.â
Take another drag and Yena basically jumps onto you. At this point, the two of you wonât have enough sleep for the classes tomorrow. Doesnât really get better than an extended weekend, youâll take it with glee. Throw away the cigarette, Yena throws away the blanket. I love truancy on a Friday.
#
âYou should really take your girl now!â
Chaewonâs shout is tiny compared to the ear-drum shattering bass of the large speakers right above your head. You look at her, confused, and point at your ears. Chaewon rolls her eyes and points at Yena, who is stumbling through the crowd, a large stain on her pink tube top and a half-empty bottle of vodka in her hand.Â
âBetter. Get. Her. Out!â
Her message is clear, and it should shame you that she is more worried about your girlfriend than you are, but youâre too used to it. Yena is magnetic to parties and the parties are magnetic to her. They need each other, and usually, you enjoy yourself alongside her, but for some reason, she went over the top today. Shot after shot after shot, down her throat until her dance moves became laughable.Â
âFuck, fine!â
Growl in annoyance to make Chaewon back off to her clique and drinks while you grab the wrist of your completely dazed girlfriend and drag her through the crowd. Your eyes are always at her back, her hips, her bottom. If any filthy bastard tries to touch her, you will tear off his hand and shove it down his trachea to make him regret not respecting you enough.
Outside the old barn at some outskirt of the city, Yena suddenly starts to run, bottle still in her hand, her feet faster than usual. She is an excellent sprinter, but for some reason, the alcohol pushes her to a sudden sprint. You can barely keep pace but soon catch up to her when Yena leans to a wall andâ
âYena, what are you doiâhey, are you okââ
âviolently vomits out the hard liquor and her last meal, some noodles and meatballs. You bunch up her hair and turn your head away in disgust. Yena pushes out more, the unbearable sound not seeming to end in forever, until finally, she gasps for air.
âSorry, sorry, babe, are youââ
âJeez, Yena,â you groan and scrunch your nose, unable to look at the pile of half-digested food without feeling your stomach tighten painfully. âJust sit down over there, and try not toâyou know?â
Unsure if she understood any of your words, you guide her to a nearby bench in front of the highest point of the wall. Except for the occasional breeze rustling the trees and Yenaâs heavy breaths, itâs eerily quiet. You scan the area attentively, no possible attacker will go unnoticed, not even the figure on the far end of the wall. Why would someone sit there and stare skywards? There are barely any stars tonight.
The person has spotted you and jumps off the wall. Youâd prepare to fight for your honor and Yenaâs safety, but then realize that the person is pretty small and frail. You pull out your phone and point the flashlight at the approaching figure. Dressed in a thin black jacket, itâs none other than Minju. Again.
âDid not expect you here,â you snark at her and point your flashlight closer to her face. âWhy the fuck are you here?â
âHey! Is-isnât that Min-Min-ju?â Yena bursts out in laughter and rises from her bench. âBest friends, best friendos!â
She steps towards her classmate in deep drunken delirium and tries to hug her. Instead she loses her footing way earlier and is about to crash face first onto the ground. Youâre unable to react on time, but Minju is. She catches Yenaâs fall, knees painfully digging into the gravel as both her arms catch your girlfriendsâ fall. Slowly, the two of them descend onto the ground.
You stand there frozen, as Minju reaches into the pocket of her dirty jeans and pulls out a surprisingly fresh tissue. She carefully wipes Yena's dirty mouth, not shying away from the abhorrent smell and delusional smile. Minju holds her still like a baby, and Yena giggles stupidly.Â
âGet off of her!â you shout at the top of your lungs and push Minju off at her shoulders. She jumps and lets go of Yena, who almost meets the ground below if it werenât for your arms on her back. In your rage you pick your girlfriend up so she stands and sways again. Her good mood fades as she struggles to stand upright, even with your arm around her.
âWhat is your game, huh? Stop trying to get her, sheâs mine,â you snarl down at Minju, who sits on the ground, her legs shivering in this mild spring night. She should have worn more than a skirt if this is still too cold for her, but for some reason, she still has this unusual determination in her eyes.Â
âCan I have this?â Minju asks, oblivious to your rant, pointing at the vodka bottle still firmly in Yenaâs grip. Your girlfriend doesnât react to the question and instead rests her head on your chest. She sniffles and weeps, tears soaking into the fabric of your polo shirt. Enraged, you kick a bunch of gravel onto Minjuâshe should get fucking buried beneath it.
âFuck off, really. Are you really that desperate? Pathetic.â
âI-Iâm not, I just want to drink.
âWould you let her drink it? Yena is already looking bad.â
Furiously reach for the bottle. This fucking bitch. Throw it as hard as you can against the wall. It bursts into a million shards, the vodka running down the gray surface. Someone opens a window.
âHey! You fucking rouges! Stop this shit or Iâll call the police!â
Youâd love to curse back at them, but Yena pulls at the hem of your shirt. You look at her teary eyes and sigh. This has been a big enough mess, no need to push the limits. Stare down at Minju, who still looks at the spot the bottle hit, her eyes big yet blurry. She looks absolutely miserable.
âBack off,â you say to her. âDonât come close to her again or youâll regret it.â
#
Monday comes and goes, the same goes for Tuesday. You might sit in class, attend each of the lessons, but youâre not listening to a word the teachers say. Nothing special, if youâre being honest. Youâd usually guide your hand on Yenaâs thigh and watch her smirk knowingly as she tries to pay attention. This would go on until she pinches you. She tries to keep up with school a lot more than you do, it shows in her grades.
Today however, she is not in the mood at all. She swats you away from the start, her gaze focused, yet angry, as she tries to copy the teachersâ scrabble from the blackboard. You roll your eyes, this is not uncommon either, especially during that time of the month.Â
You roll tiny pellets of paper, your ammo for today. Simple, childish entertainment, sure, but you canât wait to see the reaction of todayâs target. Minju had it coming for a while now. Usually youâd send the paper flying over her head at one of the stupid classmates behind her; now she is in full focus.
At least she would be if it werenât for her absence. You only notice it when you turn around to ready your first throw. She is not there. You drop the pellets to the ground, the only form of disarmament that actually feels like it. How can she not be there? The teacher didnât even notice, no one noticedâand no one cares, except you.
But why do you care? Students are absent all the time and a loser like Minju has all the reasons not to go. For some reason, it still grinds your gears, brings them to a screeching halt and makes you form a fist. Feel your own fingernails dig into the palm of your hands; this is getting a bit out of control.
Suddenly, Yenaâs hand is on your thigh, a surprising twist to your usual shenanigans, however, she is a lot less gentle. You spin around, meet her gaze for a second before the angry hum of your teacher finally gets your attention. She must have been standing there for quite a while, trying so hard to do her job by teaching you something, something, something.
âOh, so you are still among us,â she notes, looking up and down at you above the rim of her large, blue glasses. âI bet you now know all the details of the French Revolution.â
âOf course,â you respond, voice and posture as nonchalant as ever.
âDo you mind explaining the root causes that led to the Battle of Verdun?â
âActually, I do mind.â Let your smirk fade for something more sympathetic. âExcuse me, Miss Kang, I just have a terrible headache right now. I think I should leave for today.â
#
âYou should pay more attention in class. You canât always skip the lessons you donât like.â
You put your phone on speaker and throw it on the desk. On the other side is Yena, thoroughly annoyed from the moment you started this call. If youâre honest, her annoyance is getting on your nerves as well.
âBut I donât care,â you groan into your room, loud enough for your girlfriend to hear. âItâs really hard to pay attention when itâs just boring shit, day in, day out.â
âI know itâs boring to you, but you know how grades work and that they donât give a fuck about you not giving a fuck. At least try?â Yena tries to bargain, but you shatter her away.
âWhy the fuck are we still talking about school? I should be by your side right now. Should I come over?â
You smirk in lust, one hand opening a drawer with countless condoms in it. Let a pack of it glide through your fingers before you hear a loud sigh coming from Yena.
âNot today, no. I-itâs better we not.â
âHuh? Why is that?â
âLook, itâsâŠâ
A long pause. You almost slam the drawer shut, instead catching yourself at the last moment and only closing it carefully in deep regret. There is a deeply rooted hate in you for evasive behavior like this; itâs terrible in movies or TV shows, but when it is happening in real life, it makes you snap quickly.
âYenaââ
âI-itâs because⊠you wouldnât⊠look, we canât do it, okay?â
âOh. It is that time of the month, huh?
âEw.â
Another pause, this time a lot more tense.
âWhat did you just say?â Yena growls furiously. âOh my God, youâre such an asshole!â
âYena, Iââ Your words face an impenetrable wall, not even reaching your girlfriendâs ear.
âNo! Shut up! You insensitive idiot, I donât want to deal with you too right now. Fuck. Off!â
Yena hangs up. You smash the pack of condoms to the ground, a nerve struck by her entitlement. Oh well, thatâs how they are during this time. Sheâll calm down by Thursday, maybe Friday. You get to sleep, not willing to even see the school building tomorrow.
#
The tide doesnât turn on Thursday, but for some goddamn reason, you still went up to that school. For the first time since you two became a couple, she completely ignored you. Youâve been waiting at the gate for an extra twenty minutes, which meant less sleep for you, which means more annoyance, which leads toâ
âWatch your fucking step, bro!â you growl at a random student, who was unlucky enough to be in your walking lane. This has quickly turned to a day where everyone is better off either treating you like the irritable King Saul or disappearing all together. A day like a threat; it all hangs by a thread that could tear at any moment.Â
Your patience is thin and so is Minjuâs arm when she tries to pick something up. Too bad for her, she is right there when you try to pass her. With the grace of an elephant you pass by her, painfully squeeze her arm against the table and hear a whimper of pain.Â
âWatch it, Minju,â you bark at her and aggressively take your seat, eyes locked on her. Everything about her looks has gotten worse, her posture looks like itâs about to break, she could fold in half at any minute. Any hobo would have more dignity. âIâm not in the mood for your bullshit.â
âIâit hurts.â
You can hear from the tone of her voice, stiff and pained, that her arm really hurts. Minju wraps her fingers around it gently and looks at you, but all you see are her shimmering eyes with nothing left inside, dull and deadâand so absolutely infuriating.Â
âLike I said: not in the mood.â
Minju hisses. Blood spills from her elbow. The class has taken notice of the situation and looks on in awe as you stand up and in front of Minju. Someone is brave enough to sneak out, probably to get a teacher to check on Minju and the open wound, from which beads of blood slowly drip to the floor.
âWhat have you done?â Yena suddenly whispers from behind you, makes herself beside Minju and looks at that twig-like arm. You canât channel your focus on her for long, Minjuâs sniffles drive you to the edge of insanity.Â
âShe was in the way, okay?â you respond, not bothering to give Yena another second of your time. For this lone, fleeting moment of your life, you can get it all out on this loserâthat no one would miss, that no one seesâin all honesty, you might do her a favor with this. Now, she has everyoneâs attention. They can also see how dreadful she looks and smells and dresses.
Minju is undeserving of life in your eyesâand your eyes are on her cheek.
âMaybe you should apologize?!â
A smack heard around the world. You couldâve done it so many ways: grab your wrist and use both fists to hit her or maybe angle your elbow to hit her eye socket. Instead, you went straight for her cheek with your left, swung like a boxer and Minju flew off the chair. No way she couldâve dodged this.
Knocked down after one punch, but there is absolutely nothing satisfying about it. Itâs all just a mess. The puddle of Minju on the floor, swollen face, bloody mouth, lifeless limbs. The crowd of classmates that surround her, take photos, groan in shock, turn around to not vomit. The hands of Yena all over your face, push you back towards your seat, into the arms of a teacher, then an officer.Â
Her face tells you everything. Youâll never see her again, not as your girlfriend, not as your trophy. Those times have ended with this punch heard around the world. In the end, it wasnât worth it. The ambulance arrives and you hear the principal yelling, not the words, just that he is yelling. To your surprise, Minju never looked better than nowâwith that maniacal smile on her face as they carry her towards the ambulance.
#
To your surprise, youâre not in a jail cell on Friday, but in the principal's office again. The sound of that smack you gave Minju, it finally left your ears. Youâre not deaf anymore and ready to take a chance at redemption. Of course your fist could not have slipped, not with all the witnesses and the power behind it, but maybe a couple hours of anger management will save you from a trial or whatever punishment may await you.
The principal looks angry, you expected as much, but the anger is mixed with shock, speechlessness and disbelief. He must have seen a ghost last night, or God himself. Youâve never seen this serious man look so at a loss for words.Â
The door opens, a young woman and a police officer walk in. She is crying, he is stern. They both wait for the principal to say something, but he just points at you, unable to come up with words that could describe you. At this point, youâve had it with their hesitation, their overreaction.Â
âWhat am I doing here?â you ask, calmly, quietly, as not to show your slight annoyance.Â
âT-tell him, Miss Kwon, please.â The principalâs voice is about to crack, so he turns around, hands in his hair, while Miss Kwon sits down next to you. You slowly remember why she is here. She is the confidant teacher, the kind soul, the one who cares for everyone. Even the likes of Minju.
âMin-Minju came to the hospital yesterday,â she begins, her sniffles stopped temporarily when the officer hands her a handkerchief. âShe, she looked good. Yes, she did, sur-sur-surprisingly.â
For the first time, you look at Miss Kwon, but she averts you. Her posture is frozen. She continues to talk as if you arenât there.
âI remember, she smiled, said something about you. We shouldnât be angry, you showed it to her. I asked her, but she just smiled. The doctors said she was free to leave tonight, to-to-tonightââ
Miss Kwon bursts out in tears again, her ruined face hidden behind two fragile hands that try to keep up her composure. Behind her is still the officer, the only one to look at you in the entire room, and his dark orbs are full of disgust, like he hates your guts to the core.Â
âWe found her.â Miss Kwon tries everything in her power to get out another sentence, you feel your breath halt for a bit. âShe was, she was hanging from the ce-ceilingââ
Miss Kwon wails, but all you hear is a clock ticking in the background.Â
âWhat?â
âShe killed herself!â the principal screams and slams his fists into the desk.
âShe is dead, she is dead!
He slams down again and again, the floor starts to shake.
âDo you understand me!? Do you regret it!?
He hits it and you realizeâ
âDo you regret it!?
âheâd love to hit you like this, over and over and over again.Â
âDo you regret it!?â
Do you regret the single tear rolling down your cold face?
An interest in photography. A camera in your hand since youâve been four years old. A nice motive. Click.
Other hobbies donât come to mind. Friends are none of your concern. Just a camera and the desire to one day make money with it. The grades have to match that desire though. Click. Back to study.
You have pictures of all of your classmates. Most of them taken in secret. All of them show how they grew the last couple of years. Yena and Chawon have matured, fit and attractive. The main bully has gotten bigger, meaner. Heâd kill you if he ever found your pictures of Yena. They might not be inappropriate or unflattering, but he is scarily obsessive.
One motive catches your eye. While most of your classmates have bloomed to varying degrees, one gorgeous girl has withered. Your pictures of Minju portray her as increasingly less well-dressed, less combed, less happy. You can barely catch a glimpse of her full, uncovered face. It bothers you how she hides it.
No, itâs intriguing. You canât keep your eyes off of her. Starting someday in the middle of the school year, you canât stop looking over to her, sitting in the midst of the classroom while being outside everything and everyone.
Snapshots here and there with your phone and a small digital camera during class. They form a collection of this disheveled girl. Youâd much rather have something truly worth framing, taking with your best camera model. This will have to do for the time being, you tell yourself.
Suddenly, one day, you swear that she seems to light up more and more. It is not noticeable for anyone else, no classmates, no teachers â only you know that Kim Minju shines like a star today. Dozens of pictures fill the folder of your phone. Your heart starts to race a little bit. Maybe you could approach her, get more of this glow, hell, even a full portraitâ
Donât be ridiculous! A picture like this is impossible to ask for. You never asked anyone for such a favor, let alone someone whose connection to you only exists in your mind, in your fantasy.
Minju is not in class. A day ago she was glowing; now she is hiding. Call her a solar eclipse and you a solar flare the way you burst. The thrill is burning in your veins, blood rushing to your head as you head out, towards Rainbow Street, your most expensive camera hanging around your neck. You stop next to one of the many older, Japanese style houses. There is a police car. You quickly hide behind a tree across the small street, much more akin to a trafficless avenue.
Two officers walk out, with them a few more people, dressed in black with sorrowful and disturbed faces. Minju is not amongst them, even though this is certainly her address. They murmur and whisper and cry about something, someone â they will miss him, why did he do it, oh this poor girl. The officers drive off, the crowd disassembles.
Right before you decide to leave, the sliding door to the small building opens. A fence and a wall obstruct your view, so you decide to climb up a few branches, just a few feet off the ground to maybe catch a glimpse offâ
Minju lays in the doorframe, the sliding door not fully opened. Her head rests against the side, tears endlessly streaming down her face. Small sobs, contortions of her beautiful features, her hair everywhere yet at the same time, youâve never seen so much of her face.
Her features are flawless. This moment feels like a personal show for you. Instinctively, you reach for the camera and take a photo. Then climb higher, take another photo, then again. Minju does not notice you, but her crying intensifies once more. Her hands try to grab something. She wants to hold on so bad. Click. She gasps, cries out. Click. Words stuck in her throat, lips dry and torn. Click.
A hundred more clicks as you try not to overdose on this perfect moment. You have never felt such a rush. Minju is all yours, these pictures are your proof. Nobody gets to see her like this. Your heart races at the thought that this might be the only moment, your only chance to see this spectacle. A spectacle for you and to you only.
With a hint of disgust about yourself you walk home an hour later. Jerk off to her once because what is one more sin for today? The next day, she isnât at school, but you donât visit her either. The day after that she is back, but you can barely stand looking at her. In the one picture you take Minju looks her absolute worst, worse than her endless sobbing and crying and screeching and hair pulling.Â
You decide to go back to Rainbow Street the very next day, early in the morning. One hour from the start of school and you stand before the house again. You carefully glance at the sliding door. There is a gap, itâs open.
Your heart skips a beat. The thrill of just having a peak is enough to push you forward. Nobody is out here this early, nothing will disrupt your trespassing. Increasingly rapid breaths leave your nostrils as you put an eye to the gap. Itâs completely dark inside, just a faint white reflection hovering in the hallway catches your attention.
Your heart now races. Fingers push open fully the door that was ajar. The dim morning twilight floods the dark house and the faint white turns to a clearer picture. A simple gown, worn out, hangs from the ceiling.
A scream gets stuck in your throat as your knees give out and you collapse on the floor. Minjuâs eyes are wide open, dead and with yet to dry tears in them. Bruises on her neck, bruises on her hands, lips in a hideous purple. The noose barely holds her at the jaw, blood drips from the corners of her mouth.
You have never seen nor imagined something as utterly horrifying. Itâs like every negative emotion is flooding you for your sins. Sins you have committed, sins you still commit. You find Minju more beautiful than ever.
Beneath her dangling feet you find a letter in crude hand-writing.
To my dearest daughter
I know you wonât understand this but this is necessary. Ever since your mother passed, I havenât had a clear thought. My head is a mess, my mind isnât mine. But I have to take responsibility. I have to stop this voice, this feeling for you. You look so much like her, itâs too painful for me, I canât look at you. Please forgive me, Iâm going to her now. For your sake too.
âSo you just wanna game? Play something else then, at home.â
âHey, Minju, wait! We can do something else if you want. I just need some â excuse to stay with you, something to pass today.â
âBut I donât want to see anyone today.â
âNot even me?â
âDefinitely not you.â
âOkay, thatâs fine. But promise me that youâll call me if you need anything â and text me before bed.â
âWhat are you? My lover?â
âJust a worried friend.â
âIâm doing fine.â
âYou donât look like youâre fine. If you want to be alone, Iâll go now. But Iâm only a call away.â
âThanks. Bye.â
#
âMinju! Minju! Open the door, please, open it now!
âMinju! Why werenât you in school yesterday? Are you okay? Open the door!
âI swear Iâll kick it down right now!â
âHe is dead! He is dead, fucking dead and itâs my fault!â
âIâm coming in!â
âNo! Go away! Donât look at me, Iâm a demon, a devil! I killed him!â
âCalm down, please. Put, put that away.â
âNo!â
âPut the rope away, Minju. Please.â
ââŠâ
âOkay, now breathe. Slow, calm, steââ
âI donât want to breathe â I want to suffocate like he did.â
âMinju, please.â
âI killed my father. Iâm a murderer, I should die.â
âMinju, please. You need to breathe. No more sobbing, no more screams. Listen to my heartbeat.â
âI-I canât, I donât deserve to!â
âThen I will hold you closer, until youâve given up this awful plan, until your tears are dried, until you can tell me whyââ
ââŠâ
âMinju,
âI donât want to lose you.
âYouâre my best friend.â
âPlease, let me, let me go. Iâm a demon, a monster.â
âEven if you were, Iâd stick with you. Iâm not going to let you die tonight.â
ââŠâ
âWhat is in your hands?â
âMy reason.â
âYour final letter?â
âMy dads final letter.â
âWhatever is written in this â it does not mean that itâs your fault and that you need to die too. Minju, isnât life beautiful?â
âItâs fucking not. I canât do this anymore.â
âYouâre right to feel this way. But itâs the only life you got and even if this is just me being selfish, I want you to continue trying, continue living.â
A/N: Wow fic in the big year 2026. Hope there are reader's still here lol.
The sun begins to set after an eventful afternoon, its orange rays illuminate the hotel room you occupy for âwork negotiationsâ. The usual chilly evening breeze doesnât bother you, the thick hotel quilt, or more specifically, the girl wrapped in it with you, provides enough warmth to you.
You rest your chin on her shoulders and admire the scenery with her. âThis view is not as beautiful as you, princess.â
Tzuyu giggles at the compliment and she gently rubs her hand over yours, lazily enjoying your embrace. You press yourself tighter against her and kiss the nook of her neck, glancing down the balcony and watching most of the crowd by the pool dissipating. Itâs the end of the day but youâre hoping it's not the end of yours. A hand sneaks from her tummy to between her thighs as your lips kiss up the side of her face. âIs it time for you to go?â
Her body tenses for a split second, conflicted on what to do next, but you, ever the devil on her shoulder, pull her waist even tighter against your groin and run a finger across her splayed pussy. âI should, but I,â she lets out a soft moan and snuggles back into you, her shaky hands now gripping the balcony railings, âjust, one more time, okay?â
You grin. Youâve won over her once again. âAnything for you, princess.â
She gets rid of the quilt and turns to you, her eyes sparkle with need. You bend her over the railing and spread her legs a little further. Her lower body sticks itself further back, pussy already glistening in anticipation. You canât wait any longer, desperately wanting to be back in her body just as youâve been for most of the day, so you position your cock by her pussy and gently thrust it in.
She lets out a satisfied sigh when youâre inside her once again, her body tight but gradually opening up to you. A perfect match for you, youâre glad you didnât let this gem slip away. Thankfully , she needs you as much as you need her, forming this wicked, dark relationship.
You work your hips harder, your cock hitting the depths of her body. An instant reaction, a loud cry for all still lingering by the pool to hear, and you continuously draw her moans out with deeper harder thrusts. You hold her ass instead of her waist and take a few squeezes, enjoying the feel of her flesh.Â
Tzuyu is so engrossed in the dirty fucking, barely able to remember that youâre in a very public position. Her eyes blurry, scanning the poolside and hoping no one looks up. Even with her unobstructed cries, you both go unnoticed, that is until you begin to slap her ass.
Not hard enough to inflict too much pain or leave a handprint, but just nice that the spank adds to your noise. It catches Tzuyu off guard and you feel her get wetter and tighter after such an unusually loud moan. You sense her fear soon after, her arm held across her chest and her mouth trying to seal shut and not make any noise.Â
âWhatâs the matter, princess? Donât you want to show off how sinful you are?â
You peel her arm away and tug her body so that itâs upright and flushed with yours. Gently cupping her tits, sheâs now leaning back against you, hips rocking back to meet yours, eyes shut as she quietly moans and enjoys the fuck.Â
âI think there are people watching.â
âOh?â Youâre not fazed, still continuing to fuck her, even planting more kisses on her cheek before you look down. âLetâs go princess.â
In an instant, you pull out of her and pull her back into the room and onto the messy bed. She falls next to you and you both look at each other before bursting into giggles. A lovely different symphony, an anomaly from the usual sounds of pleasure from Tzuyu. Sheâs staring into your eyes and youâre sweeping stray strands of hair off her face. You lean over her and kiss her forehead, then her cheeks. A warmth washes over both of you, you sense her melting deeper into the bed while your strength begins to fade.
Her eyes, theyâre so pretty. Youâve tainted this princess already, ruined her for an entire afternoon, but you see her, for the stunning woman she is at her core, and you lose more control. Youâre falling, moving lower, and youâre kissing her, softly. Sheâs soft too, jelly, and you feel her lips press back against yours.Â
Mere seconds later, what felt like eternity, youâre right back to watching her, watching her eyes sparkle, her pretty face shine as she smiles oh so beautifully. Â
You fall even further, this time with her aid. Her palm rests on your cheeks, her chin tilts up just a little to close the gap, and she guides you back onto her lips. A gentle kiss, her mouth parts so slightly to sigh into yours. You smile when your forehead touches hers and you hold her head and kiss her again.Â
âI want you,â her eyes pleading, her voice almost cracking, so vulnerable, âmake love to me.â
âAnything for you princess.â
Youâre kneeling between her legs but you nudge it a little wider. The hand on her cheek shifts onto her chest, briefly going over her breast, the slight pressure causes a gasp, until youâre holding her waist. Your tip presses against her wet entrance and you glance back at her. She is an utter mess as you insert yourself inside her body, her walls tightening around you. Perfect, youâre like the missing piece of a puzzle in her life, as wrong as it all is, but she doesnât care, not in this moment, maybe not ever from here on out.Â
You take slow and deep thrusts, filling her completely, ensuring she feels every bit of you. Sheâs melting into the bed, surrendering, giving herself up to you, all thoughts gone except how much she needs you. A whole afternoon later and she still canât get enough of you. Sheâs so wet and tight, her legs wrap your waist, as if she doesnât ever want to let you go.Â
But it only drives you to go faster. Youâre losing control of yourself too, having never seen her this pleasure stricken before. Itâs all you. Her face in pure ecstasy is all thanks to you.
âYouâre so pretty for me, princess. I love it when youâre like this.â
A blush, a shy smile thatâs immediately covered by a hand.Â
âNo no. No hiding from me.â
No, you canât have that, so you pull it off, hold her hand by her waist. You squeeze her hand, Look deeply into her eyes, youâre met with hers, half lidded from the pleasure, but the glint of affection is still there.
âIâm going to cum.â
âNot yet, just a little longer princess.âÂ
Her back arches, her heels hook around your waist. She pulls you close by the back of your head. Every little sound she makes goes straight into your ears.Â
âI can't, I can't, Iâm cumming.â
Her pussy is so tight and wet around you, making a small mess at your lower body. Sheâs melting, and even though youâre whispering soothing calming words to her, youâre not exactly helping with your cock still drilling her at full speed. She feels so good, a near perfect fit for you, and a few more rapid pumps into her body later, youâre cumming too.
âIâm going to breed you princess.â
Your words barely reach her ears, a soft moan in return before you shut her up with a deep passionate kiss. Youâre shooting hot white cum in her, pumping and burying your load in the depths of her womb.Â
Your lower body works on autopilot and lazily thrusts a few more times while youâre focused on Tzuyu. Your hand is on her cheek and your lips still on hers, just so gently tasting her sweet lips for the hundredth time but you know deep down itâll never be enough.Â
Your body finally cools down from the feral fervour and you slip out of Tzuyuâs body with some of your cum following suit. Tzuyu musters her strength and turns you onto your back while she straddles you. She collects the cum staining her thighs and licks them clean while youâre appreciating her body again and gently caressing her curves.Â
âItâs time I really should go back home.â
âClean yourself up before you leave. Donât want you smelling like sex when youâre with your boyfriend.â
Her lower body stumbles off the bed. Tzuyu pauses, then turns to smiles before entering. She doesnât need to say anything, you get the message.
~~~~~~
Youâre back in that natural, comfortable position, with arms wrapped around Tzuyuâs waist and head resting on her shoulder, this time in the shower. You canât get enough of her. Her body, her warmth, her relieved smile as you wash off the last bits of soap left on her body.Â
She hurriedly dries herself off and begins to dress up. She frantically looks around the crumpled dress and presses on any wrinkles, while you lean against a wall, wrapped in a towel and watch in amusement and adoration.Â
Dressed and about to leave, her hands hesitate at the door. She turns to you, words choked in her throat. But she doesnât need to say anything.
âJust one more, princess.â You hold her hand and lean into her. âPlease.â
Tzuyu nods, closes her eyes and kisses you.Â
You wish you had more time. You just want to get dirty with her again. You know that she has to go, but you also know that she is yours as much as you are hers and that youâll see her very soon.
When she pulls away, when your foreheads touch, when she sighs, you fall even deeper.Â
âMy place, this Saturday?â
âIâd love that.â
Her hand slips away from yours and you watch her leave the hotel room.Â
A regret for you both, but you know this isnât the end, not by a long shot.
******
A/N: Honestly, this draft was like 90% complete since April last year but I didn't like it enough to post it. A review now made me realise it wasn't as bad as I remembered. Hope yall enjoyed this. More fics to come? Idk. I hope so.
By the time this is posted, itâll have been five full years since I made one of the most important clicks in my life: the Tumblr post button on a sleepless dawn after finishing a rough 2k-ish reader-insert fanfiction written on a whim at 2 AM. From there, nothing was ever the same.
I was 13 when I used to write screenplays/scripts that me and my classmates would read after lunch and sometimes for English projects in the sixth grade. They were silly and stupid, but quite fun to look back on and something that I thought Iâd get over once I was done with middle school. Iâve revisited writing pre-pandemic once but assumed I lost that same spark now I was a teenager with other things to do. So I feel grateful to revisit that little part from my childhood and have it grow in a meaningful, if not absurd manner. And to be honest, I was never really a literary fellow; I seldomly read books and preferred films/movies. Even as I continued writing, my references and how I visualize scenes often stems from how it would be perceived on a screen than what it was supposed to beâin oral/descriptive detail.
Admittedly, the experience so far has been both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, itâs allowed me to tap into my creative side, the more fun, whimsical side of me that I otherwise never would have explored further had I not made that leap and decision after reading Interrogation and Business Trip back then. And in a way, I also wouldnât have been as big into K-pop now if I wasnât a writer, since it gave me more avenues and artists to explore the genre (peach is a big reason as to why I got into IZ*ONE after they disbanded and subsequently the groups/solos that followed, now two of them are my ult groups), so Iâll always give this hobby some credit for diversifying my music taste and defining what I listen to now. Writing has taken me to places I never thought Iâd imagine too, to the point where it even became a side hustle and a secondary source of income; itâs allowed me to go to concerts and support my family to some degree, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
But the further along Iâve gotten into this, the more unnecessary pressure I put on myself as both a writer and a community member. Iâm still clearly lacking in many aspects and even have to relearn the basic fundamentals at times. The people I look up to are better than ever; even newcomers who have been here for way less time than me have surpassed me a long time ago, and they more than deserve the success and acclaim theyâre getting, theyâve been phenomenal reads. Meanwhile, Iâm entering year five and I feel like Iâve stagnated, maybe even regressed. Itâs also gotten to the point where I constantly have to keep proving myself every time I release a new fic. Like yes, this is a hobby; itâs nothing serious, but given the time and effort Iâve devoted to it, I feel like Iâm not where I should be. Similar to playing video games or learning a sport; I should be getting better at it with time and practice, and I feel as if though Iâm not.
Not that long ago, I went on an institutional retreat as part of our graduation rites (which we will return to), and while nothing much happened, the one thing I somehow wrote down was: break your habits. Two weeks after that, Iâve received a message that highlighted something alarming, and I didnât just think about my past year. It made me think about everything. To the point where I even question now as to whether I still deserve to be here.
As much as I want to keep going, I feel that the end is near. I started this blog in the middle of the pandemic when I had nothing to do. Iâm graduating in a month and my financial situation is kinda dire. Life has become too hectic and my priorities have changed drastically where I feel like something has to give. This blogâand this hobbyâhas embedded itself as a huge component of my life, but I feel like I donât belong anymore. I feel that even though Iâve been around for so long, I still feel like Iâm not good enough to have earned your respect. I keep making the same mistakes, both as a person and as a writer that even though I promised to improve upon, I just keep falling back into. Itâs a neverending cycle. And letâs focus on the former here: as a persona, as pi or peter or some other name youâve known me by, Iâve burned one too many bridges to be considered someone worth looking up to, or to be even considered as an acquaintance, let alone a friend. Iâve let my own pride, my own selfishness, and my own narcissism take over more times to count, and Iâve refused to take complete control or accountability believing no oneâs getting hurt when in reality, people are; theyâve only just brought this up to me now. And Iâve been reading and listening.Â
Iâm never one to start conflicts at all. My belief is that if thereâs any issue that needs to be settled, it should be resolved privately and without causing a stir. But given how hard it is to address you all individually, Iâve decided to extend a branch to you all by making this public, even if it seems like the dumbest play. I know some of you have had issues with me, whether in the past or present, about items weâve discussed in public, private, or even unspoken and for that: Iâm truly sorry. Iâm sorry for not being a good person, for not making the necessary changes I promised back then. I donât expect you to forgive me, given how many times Iâve fucked up, and thereâs only so many chances you can give; but at least I want you to read this: I genuinely feel bad about everything. Trust, once broken, is hard to repair, and I believe Iâve pushed it one too many times for you to be worth my time, but the regret is genuine.
This isnât me asking for empathy or sympathy or me wallowing in self-pity; rather this is me being honest. Thereâs so many things, so many words, and actions I regret back on, even as recently as yesterday, and while I can forgive myself and move on, I doubt you will. Human nature dictates you can only endure so much before you finally decide to sever the connection for your own sanity, and thatâs okay. If anything; Iâm surprised a majority of you still look at me somewhat respectably and not as a lowlife or lesser being like some of the people who call themselves âwritersâ by using AI for everything or writing UA or noncon, but thatâs beside the point: you should have left me behind a long time ago. I promised Iâd do better, and in the time since, none of that seems to have come true. And now Iâm giving you the choice to do it again. If you have any issue or problem with how I conduct myself that you want to address (whether publicly or privately), come forward so we can talk about it (peacefully and without conflict). If you want to block me straight up, then go ahead. If you think Iâm no longer worth your time, then unfollow. If you think my presence is no longer worth tolerating for the betterment of the community, then feel free to kick me out. I absolutely deserve every bit of criticism youâll throw my way, and itâs my own actions that have caused this. Whatever you choose to do, Iâll 100% respect that decision.
In spite of everything, let it be known I have never spoken a negative word about any of you, whether in private or public. I may be jealous and envious sometimes reading your work or being excluded from certain projects, but it's out of a motivation and a desire to do better. And whenever I am feeling jealous, let it be known that it was never personal. Of course we all want to be great, and every journey is unique, but sometimes, I feel that the results donât translate, or that Iâm inherently less talented than some of you, or maybe I just donât see the good in whatever I do. And even to the people Iâve had an issue with, let it be known I have never thought ill of you as well. I want us to co-exist peacefully, regardless of our beliefs, philosophies, opinions, and no matter what differences we have about each other. But if you think that is no longer an option in this space, then so be itâIâll find my way out of here.
Thereâs so many people I want to thank for my time here, that listing them all is impossible, but Iâll try my best anyway. Firstly, to the guys that welcomed me with open arms and helped me settle into the community when I debuted: to peach, ddeun and levi (worldsover) for answering my questions, even if they were stupid and easily searchable and learning how the Tumblr ecosystem worked. To peach, caps, majorblinks, kooya, bran, iz, and gray for their incredible body of work and inspiring me to get better; I can only dream of even being in your shadow. To this day, many of your works I still use as reference for my own writing, so thank you for sharing your wonderful talent. To chunk, my brother from another mother, I miss you dearly and our daily yap sessions. Sometimes we just send GIFs to each other and just go crazy; I miss thatâand I hope youâre doing well wherever you are. To iz for keeping the faith when I was at my lowest; Iâm glad youâre better now and I hope we can meet one day. To svn, DJ, hoaqin, def/bamee, kaede, eros, CJ (banananutsmuthie), and chim, thanks for putting up with my random bullshit every single day. I get online and am always happy to see you; the little things make my day. To the people Iâve met IRL: valentine, cray, Digi, and Dotoli, I hope we can hang out more often and it was great meeting you lovely bunch, and thank you for letting me be comfortable around you even if Iâm weird as hell. To everyone else I cannot address or have not mentioned in this section, I hope I have found favor in your sight, whether as a writer, a friend, or a community member. Finally, to sins, my debut brother; I know we havenât been on the best of terms for a long, long timeâand youâve recently laid upon me a lifetime of guilt and past mistakes that prompted this letter, but I have never harbored ill feelings toward you even once; as a matter of fact, I pray and hope we can put bury the hatchet and truly reconcile one day. But until then, just know I respect you as a writer and a person, regardless of how you look at me. Itâs nothing but love on my end.
And lastly, to you, dear reader, for reading all the way to the end of this letter, thank you. Thank you for believing in me when I was still questioning myselfâand still am, to this day. Every note, every reblog/comment, every commission helped me become the writer I am today, and for that, I am eternally grateful and humbled. I donât know if this next year is truly the end or notâtomorrow is never promisedâbut if thereâs one thing I donât regret, itâs definitely writing and sharing my work with you, and you accepting me with open arms. I appreciate and cherish the journey weâve been on together, both the good and bad times.
An Yujin remained slumped in her seat, hands on her spread legs, eyeing the university counselor across her. She didnât know how to respond.
When was the last time she had a good day? When was the last time she ever felt âgoodâ at all?
Closing her eyes, she thought back to a few months ago. A time when Yujin still rode her motorcycle early in the morning to pick her up. A time when Yujin still stayed up late at night to listen to her talking about the difference between monetary and fiscal policies. A time when Yujin still felt a tightness in her chest just by being close to someone like her.
Yujin thought back to a time when she was still dating Jang Wonyoung. A time when everything still made sense. That was the last time she had a good day.
That was the last time An Yujin ever felt happy.
She flinched. The memories started coming back.
âYujin-ah! Get off meâweâre going to be late. Ya! Haha stop kissing me all over!â
âAre you sure you want me to go on that trip? A lot of boys are coming along. You know how they can get. I wonât go if you donât want me to, you know âŠâ
âDid you seriously get into another fight? Over whatâover me? God, Yujin ⊠what will I do about you. What will I do without you âŠ?â
My Yujin.
Mine.
Yujin.
âYujin?â
She shook herself awake, blinded momentarily by the bright light of the counselorâs office. Returning her attention to the middle-aged woman before her, Yujin cleared her throat and replied, âI ⊠I donât know.â
Sighing, the woman inched forward on her desk. âYujin, Iâm not forcing you to think positively, ok? I know it can get hard. But Iâm asking you this because cherishing the little things can help you through your bad days. It can give you more ⊠reasons to keep going.â
Yujin wanted to believe her. She desperately did. Anything was better than what she was going through now: a hundred and fifty milligrams of Zoloft per day, weekly check-ins with the year level representative, reflection papers issued like goddamn paperwork, on top of her own requirements for the semester.
The university was doing all this because of her little attempt last month. They claimed they wanted to help âkeep her aliveâ. But to Yujin, this wasnât any means of living at all.
It was just trying not to die.
Reclining back in her seat, the counselor pushed a few papers towards Yujin. Yujin didnât even think to glance at them before the counselor continued. âOur sessionâs about to be over. While I still havenât gotten much out of you, this much was to be ⊠expected. Given what youâve been through and all.â
She tapped on the first sheet and smiled. âHomework.â
Yujin shrugged. âI already have an entire folder waiting for me back at the dorms. Is this really necessary?â
âI want you to rate your days,â the counselor explained. âRate them. One to five. One to ten. One to a hundred if you even want. Monitor your mood. Rate how your day goes. Was it a good day? Was it a bad one? How did it feel? Where is it on a scale?â
âLet me guessânext you want me to run statistics on myself?â Yujin scoffed, shaking her head. She was already doing so much just to keep operating at the bare minimum. She barely had the time to add another stupid task on her daily to-do list. âCanât I pass on this?â
âIâm serious. I want you to give this a try,â the counselor pressed, her face very stern now. âItâs hard to even look forward to tomorrow, or to tonight, or to the next hour. It gets harder when you canât see the bigger picture. This willâthis might ⊠help you regain a sense of control in your life.â
With a final nod, she clasped her hands together. âTrack your mood. Rate your days. See how the numbers make you feel when you look back on them. I expect to hear back from you again by the end of the semester.â
Rolling her eyes, Yujin begrudgingly hoisted herself out of her seat and turned towards the door.
âYour homework, Yujin,â the counselor reminded before she could leave.
Groaning, Yujin darted back and swiped the sheets off her desk before stomping out of the university counselorâs office.
27.9
Yujin woke up already feeling exhausted. One hand in her face, other hand scrambling for her phone, she rolled out of bed and onto the floor with a pathetic little whine.
It was already eleven-twenty-seven. Class starts in half an hour.
Popping the pill between her lips, she hard swallowed as she sat in front of her laptop. The imposing white screen and blinking vertical line kept staring at her. Taunting her. Mocking her.
It always did.
Hunched over her keyboard, she forced herself to type a few words out, get an idea written down or somethingâanything at this point. But who was she kidding? The thoughts couldnât flow. Her fingers were too busy digging into themselves. Her mind wandered.
âHahaha! Iâve never seen you in a dress, Jinjin. You look adorable. Maybe I should style you more often.â
Yujin slammed her laptop shut and dug into her hair. âFuck ⊠Fuck fuck FUCK!â
Another dud.
Kicking against the wall, she forced her laptop into her backpack and tossed it onto her shoulder. Yujin checked her phone one last time.
Twelve-twenty-three.
Sighing, she sauntered out the door and ambled to class.
24.3
Yujin woke up against her will. Her bed engulfed her body so comfortably. Her eyes were shut so tight. Her head was just swimming in half-baked fantasies. It was too perfect to resist.
But her damn phone alarm kept ringing like a siren.
Groaning, she hit snooze and forced herself to at least sit up. Yujin stared at the window, curtains of her short hair draped across her eyes.Â
It was twelve-nineteen.
âSleepyhead. I never thought Iâd ⊠lay next to you like this ⊠in your room. Itâs a nice feeling, no? Maybe ⊠we can do this again sometimeâ.â
Yujin bashed her palm against her forehead until the thought physically shattered. Her wrist flared up. Her temple throbbed. But what hurt the most was her chest.Â
She couldnât breathe.
She picked up her medication and popped another pill in as she sat in front of her laptop. The document details immediately came into view.
Created: two months ago. Word count: zero.
Hanging her head backwards, Yujin stared at the ceiling, âFucking useless ⊠Should just drop the class. Drop this course.â
Yet something inside her wouldnât let her do that. This same something pushed her to sit upright and try focusing again.
But after what seemed like hours, Yujin was closer to plucking out every last strand of her hair than she was typing in a single sentence on her document.
Yujin sank onto her keyboard and rolled her face all over it.
21.7
Yujin woke up before her alarm did. That was already a huge first step.
Except sheâs been hanging upside-down for the past few hours.
Feet on her bed, body dangling off it against the floor, Yujin relished in the feeling of her blood rushing down to her head. Like this, she couldnât feel a thing. She thought it would help her concentrate, but all it did was make her feel faint.
She checked her phone. One-eleven.
Closing her eyes, Yujin sighed. âNo fucking way Iâm going to be writing today. Again.â
Her phone vibrated. Someone was calling her.
âWonyoung?â was her first thought. While the name never left her lips, she bit down hard on them and cursed under her breath. âStupid.â
She picked up. âHello?â
âYujin!â the girl on the other end of the line announced, seemingly out of breath. âAre you done with class? Can I come over right now?â
Yujin took one look at her messy room and uttered. âYou could say that. Why, whatâs up?â
âWhatâs up? The fucking party. Later tonight?â
âShit.â
âUh huhâ.â The sound of bus doors opening interrupted the other girl. âRight. So the party. Youâre coming with me, right?â
âRei, I already told youâIâm not in the mood,â Yujin replied, pinching the bridge of her nose. âPlus, I have stuff I need to ⊠finish.â
âItâs a fucking Friday, Yujin. You have the whole weekend for that.â
âYeah, youâre not the one having to deal with my shit. Iâm not coming. Feel free to knock yourself out though,â Yujin sneered. âText me if you need a ride home.â
âYou used to be fun, Yujin. What happened to that?â
Silence. Yujin gripped her phone as Rei continued. âI know shit hasnât been going your way for a while now, but just for one nightâone nightâcan you bring the old Yujin back?â
Yujin didnât know how to reply to that.
She did used to be funâeven before Wonyoung. She snuck liquor out of convenience stores. She crashed college parties with Rei. She even rode down the highway on her motorcycle while fucking high like she was on some Mission Impossible chase scene without a care in the world.
What happened to that? What happened to her?
Sighing, Yujin said, âFine. Iâll go. But youâre doing my reflections for the next month.â
âDeal, deal~. Should have just used ChatGPT like I told you to. Ah, but youâre a âwriterâ,â Rei teased, the sounds of a fleeing bus audible behind her. âSee you in a few then!â
Yujin ended the call and immediately curled up, tucking her head between her knees. âFuck. I guess I just did that.â
âFriday night out it is.â
Yujin already wanted to leave the moment she and Rei pulled up to the apartment.
They could hear the blasted music from outside. More than just a handful of muted voices filled the air. Yujin could already smell different kinds of smoke being wafted around too.
But before she could turn away, Rei elbowed her. âSame jacket? Jesus, do you even wash it?â
As soon as Yujin parted her lips to speak, the door flew open and the host greeted them eagerly. âRei! And, um, is this a friend of yours?â
Rei smirked and elbowed Yujin again. âThis is Yujin. Yujin meet Tsuki. Sheâs my cousin.â
Yujin nodded, but Tsuki was all over her pulling her into a tight embrace. âWelcome, welcome! We have harder drinks too if thatâs more your style. Just feel free to let loose tonight.â
Yujin came to hate parties. She believed it was just a part of growing up.
Back when she was in high school, parties were associated with social status. You went to parties? You were one of the cool kids. You hosted the parties? You were popular popular. You knew how to hold your liquor? You were the shit.
Drinking was a privilege back then. It was revered. It was an experience.
Now that they were no longer being policed and they had access to alcohol with just a swipe on an app, drinking was more akin to eating at a buffet on a Friday night.
And Yujin just didnât have the appetite for it anymore.
Empty cup in hand, Yujin found her own small corner of the room wedged between a bookshelf filled with self-help books and a small cabinet with a vase on it. She bit on the rim of her cup and looked around her.
People making small talk. Bodies bouncing and grinding to the music. Scent of liquor, sweat, and weed. Was this really better than a Friday night alone at home? Yujin wasnât sure. But she was thankful for one thing.
The party noise helped drown out the noise in her head.
âSick party, yeah?â a boy exclaimed, approaching her with a sealed bottle of beer.
Yujin tapped her ear. âWhat did you say?â
âI said, sick party, yeah!â
She shook her head, pretending not to hear. The guy shrugged and just walked away doing a stupid little dance with his hips. Sighing, Yujin plucked her cup from her lips.Â
Small talk fucking sucks.
Yujin just wanted to go home.
Across the room, she spotted a girl with wide brown glasses dancing awkwardly to the EDM song being played by this wannabe DJ. Her skirt swished from side to side, threatening to flip up with just a gentle breeze. Yujin watched as she lifted her beer in the air and swayed with her hips, knocking over the DJâs drink. Thankfully, it didnât spill on his laptop.
Yujin chuckled, covering her own face in second hand embarrassment. âWhat a loser.â
The moment the next song just finished, Yujin was ready to leave. She ducked past a group of four girls gossiping to one another and reached for the door.
âYujin! There you areâwhat the fuck?â
Rei grabbed her wrist and tugged her away. Before she knew it, Yujin was brought over to the living room, where a pair of opposite couches remained vacant.
Nudging her forward, Rei stopped Yujin in front of a blonde girl in a bandana. She gestured to the girl. âItâs time you two met. This is Liz. Liz, this is Yujin. Sheâs a friend of mine from high school.â
The blonde girl managed a soft grin. âNice to meet you. Sorry if Rei brought you out here. I just told her Iâd feel more comfortable going to a party in a group.â
âCan you believe itâs her first time?â Rei raised, teasing Liz. âHope you donât mind her staying with us?â
Yujin shrugged. âYou do you.â
âI hope you donât mind my friend coming along too?â
Behind Liz, another girl emerged. A girl with wide brown glasses. A girl with a flimsy little skirt.
âYa, is it ok to be interrupting these people?â she whispered, sticking by Lizâs side. When she spotted Rei, she nodded curtly. But when she looked to Yujin, she froze. She didnât even offer a smile. âNice to meet you both. Gaeul. Kim Gaeul.â
Rei couldnât even get a breath in. Yujin immediately interrupted her.
âYujin. An Yujin,â she said, extending a hand out. The girl swapped from her shaky palm to Yujinâs tense face, before taking it. âYujin. I like that name. Precious.â
Yujin smirked. âGaeul. Like fall?â
âOk you two, you can continue whatever this is after we load up on drinks again,â Rei sassed as she eyed Yujinâs empty cup. âLetâs take the couches before those varsity chumps start sweating all over them again.
As the night went on, it became abundantly clear to Yujin why Rei brought her along. Bitch needed a wingwoman.
While Rei and Liz sat together on one couch, Yujin sat across them with Gaeul and watched them talk. Whenever Rei needed someone to bounce off of her or confirm her stories, Yujin was ready to chime in in between swigs of her drink. But at some point, the two of them were lost in their own world, visibly flirting with each other to a shameless degree.
Sighing, Yujin leaned against the couch and stretched. âFucking third wheeling.â
âTell me about it,â Gaeul replied all of a sudden, playing with the neck of her bottle. âI canât say Iâm not happy for Liz though. Itâs nice seeing her come out of her shell like this.â
Yujin didnât know about the blonde girl enough to know whether that was important or not. She shrugged and downed her drink. âIâm getting some fresh air. If Rei asks for me, tell her Iâm leaving soon.â
Gaeul just nodded and watched as Yujin glided over to the balcony.
Closing the sliding door behind her, Yujin felt the cool autumn air against her face. They were nine floors above the ground, and yet, she could still hear the busy streets of Seoul underfoot.
Yujin leaned against the balcony with her elbows and sighed. âFinally. Some peace and quiet.â
She looked down and tried observing what was going on.
A couple linked together under a shared umbrella. It wasnât even raining.Â
A stray kitten leaping from awning to awning as if in search for something.
A childâs balloon swept up and away, briefly passing by Yujinâs eye level as it rose higher into the sky.
Yujin missed this. She missed being able to just watch people. Once upon a time, it gave her ideas for her work. For her writing. But now, sheâs come to use moments like this to just ease her mind.
The door slid open behind her. Over her shoulder, Yujin spotted a bespectacled girl passing through.
Yujin didnât know what the fuck she was doing here, but she remained silent. She continued watching the people below.
The other girl didnât say a thing either. Instead, the faint sound of pencil scratching against paper filled the air.
Yujin tried to ignore it at first, but with how Gaeul was frantically dragging the damn lead across the page, she couldnât help but grow annoyed.
âWhat are you doing?â Yujin grunted, her back to Gaeul. âDid you really have to do it out here?â
âJust sketching. Practicing a bit. Got a bit antsy just sitting there. Hope you donât mind.â
Yujin turned around and eyed her. She was holding a sketchbook on her lap. Moving closer, Yujin squatted down next to Gaeul and craned her neck. âWhatâs this?â
Gaeul lifted a thumb up to frame the view in front of her. âThe skyline. Sunsets are a bit overused haha. Thought Iâd try and sketch Seoul at night instead.â
Yujin was amazed. Even for a âsketchâ, Gaeul was really good at capturing depth and detail in her drawing. Sitting down next to her, she asked. âDo you do this when youâre bored?â
Gaeul crinkled her nose. âI kinda do this for school. For work too, in the future. I hope.â
âYouâre amazing at it. Iâm sure youâll do great as an artist. Keep it up.â
Gaeul smiled, fixing her posture proudly. âThank you. Thatâs ⊠reassuring. Iâm a non-major, you see. Didnât know what I wanted to shift into but I did want to shift out of biology. It wasnât for me. I took this one art elective last year, and I was immediately hooked. So I thought Iâd try more visual arts.â
Turning to Yujin as she tapped her pencil against her knee, Gaeul asked, âWhat about you?â
Yujin shrugged, leaning her back against the same wall as Gaeul. âDunno. Creative writing. I guess.â
âSo youâre a writer.â
âWas. Or at least, wanted to be.â
âWhat changed? Gaeul asked.
âNothing changed, just ⊠shit happened,â Yujin muttered, throwing her hood on. âCanât really call myself a writer if I donât even fucking write at all anymore.â
Gaeul chuckled and leaned closer to Yujin. âCan you really call me an artist then if I havenât even begun studying how to draw?â
âYouâre joking. You just do this for fun and youâre already this good?â
The other girl leaned closer with a smile. âStop it. Iâm sure youâre a good writer too.â
âHate to break it to you, but youâre fucking wrong,â Yujin dismissed with a low chuckle. Changing the subject, Yujin leaned into her as well and tapped on the empty space in her drawing. âWhatâs with this? Itâs like thereâs some gap here.â
âAh, you noticed. I had to erase it for now. It didnât feel good enough. Iâm not the best at drawing people.â
Yujin blushed. Gaeul was trying to draw her.
As they both glanced up from Gaeulâs sketchbook once more, the two realized how close their faces now were. Yujin felt the heat burning across her face, but she couldnât find it in her to pull away.
âGaeul? Gaeul!â a voice beckoned through the door. âWhere the fuck is her friendâKim Gaeul! Where are you? Liz is blackout drunk. Help me carry her home.â
âOh shoot,â Gaeul uttered, scrambling to stuff her things into her sling bag. âSo sorry about this. My friend. Sheâsâ.â
Yujin nodded. âGo take care of her.â
As Gaeul leaned towards the door to open it, she paused for a moment. âIt was nice meeting you, An Yujin.â
Yujin just nodded again as the girl vanished behind her.
Yujin swore she wasnât drunk yet, but she felt a lasting warmth all over her face that night.
35.1
Professor Shin slammed the eraser against the board.
âStop killing your ideas before they see the light of day,â he stressed, pacing around the podium. âI know many of you are guilty of this. Eliminating ideas before you even examine them thoroughly. Donât strike out your concepts! Rather, refine them.â
Yujin didnât understand where the old man was getting at. Her head was getting too heavy to keep upright. She just wanted to go back home and lay in bed again.
But when Professor Shin raised his voice a second time, she considered what he said. âYou wonât be able to fully see through a story until you sit down and start working on it. And I donât mean working on it in your head. I want you to work on it on paper. On your keyboard. Out of your mind. It only really starts to develop then.â
He wrote a few things on the board and encircled it with the chalk. âSo donât bury things. Learn to sit with it. Hereâs the prompt for todayâs class. I expect you all to submit your work before the end of the period just like always.â
Pen in hand, Yujin tapped the tip against her paper.
âSit with it,â she muttered under her breath, fingers trembling. âSit with it. Sit with it. Fucking sit with it.â
She forced herself to write some initial ideas.
High fantasy. Warring nations. Star-crossedâ.
âWhat did you call itâDnD? Ya, thatâs actually kinda cool. You get to make your own character? Who makes the story? The Dungeon Master? Sounds a little ⊠freaky haha.â
Yujin struck through her idea.
Post-apocalyptic. Zombies. Last bastion ofâ.
âEhh? You said it wasnât going to be scaâAHHHH! TURN IT OFF YUJIN, TURN IT OFF!â
Yujin bit her lip and scratched that idea off too.
Sci-fi. Beginning of time. Origin of the big bang.
She pondered on it for a bit longer and managed to flesh out the idea a bit more.
Entity from the old universe ran out of entropy. Final moments. What does it think about before it all ends?
âIâm sorry, Yujin. This just ⊠this wasnât going to work out. You and I both knowâ.â
Yujin crumped her paper and buried her face into the desk. As tears rolled down her eyes, she wrapped her arms over her head and sobbed.
âI canât fucking write ⊠I canât fucking sit with it âŠâ
âNot until youâre out of my fucking head, Wonyoung.â
By the time class was over, Yujin had nothing to pass to her professor. But Professor Shin just nodded in understanding on her way out. âTake it easy, Yujin. Donât force yourself.â
She hated it. She fucking hated it. She hated how each of her professors and classmates new about what happened to her. About what she did. Or rather, about what she failed to do. This act of theirsâthis charade of empathy? They werenât trying to understand her at all.
They just made her feel all the more shameful.
Brushing past him, she dove into the corridor and just kept walking.
âYujin?â
Yujin looked up. Immediately, she dried her eyes and face. âShit. Oh hey, um, Gaeul was it?â
âAnd Liz,â the blonde girl added in a slightly annoyed way. âHave you seen Rei? Is she with you?â
Yujin shook her head. âInternational literature is that way. Fifth floor.â
Liz smiled and thanked her before running off, leaving Gaeul behind. The poor girl could only fix her glasses in awkwardness as she chuckled at Yujin. âFancy seeing you again.â
Yujin nodded. âDidnât know you two studied here too. Rei didnât say anything.â
âIâm noticing a trend here between our two friends,â Gaeul teased, walking closer to Yujin to avoid the students that were rushing to get to their rooms. âAre you on break right now?â
âVacant until seven. Our screenwriting professorâs a bitch, but sheâs a professional. Only around after work hours.â
âCome join me for mine then. Itâs only an hour. I donât like spending it alone, and well,â Gaeul raised, gesturing down the path Liz took to flee her. âCome with?â
Yujin wasnât sure if she was going to regret this, but after a huff, she replied. âSure.â
The two sat outside the building for English and Literature. They found a spot by one of the many stone tables and benches outdoors, where most students spent their time either smoking or making out.
Gaeul sat across Yujin and pulled a sandwich out, munching on it slowly. Yujin just sat there, unsure of what to do.
Without a care in the world, Gaeul stuffed her sandwich between her small lips and held it there as she took out her sketchbook. Immediately, she jumped back into whatever it was she was sketching this time.
With nothing to eat and with nothing to say, Yujin reluctantly whipped out her own notepad. She flipped towards the first blank page. Taking a quick look at Gaeul, she tried to join her in getting some work done.
But it was silent. It was awfully silent.
For An Yujin, silence was welcomed. But a silence without focus was often an invitation for the voices in her head to fill the void.
âPicnics? Yujin, youâre just asking to get bitten by insects. Maybe I can bring some repellantâ.â
Stop.
âMmm, your cheeks are so soft. Are you sure you donât have any skincare routines, baby?â
Stop, please âŠ
âHahaha, why are you so quiet, Yujin? Cat got your tongue? I said I love you. I. Love. You. Got nothing to say aboutâ?â
GET OUT OF MY HEAD.
Gaeul flinched before Yujin could even realize what happened. Her fist was balled against the stone table, clenched so tight that she made the entire surface shake.
âSorry,â she muttered, withdrawing her hand, rubbing it.
Gaeul just grinned. âThought something was up. Youâve been staring for a while now. Do you plan on just staring at me the entire time?â
Yujin flapped her lips at her in mimicry.
âWhatâs bothering you? Something on your mind?â Gaeul asked as she put down her pencil and leaned forward. The surrounding tables were empty. The other students had left for their classes. It was just her and Gaeul at the moment. âI could use a break right now. So go on.â
Yujin shrugged, pushing her empty notepad aside. âWhatâs new? Canât seem to fucking write at all.â
Borrowing it for a moment, Gaeul flipped through the pages of Yujinâs notes. âHm. Youâve written some stuff though. Over here?â
âScrapped. Not good enough. Didnât feel right.â
ââA cure for cancer is found, but it comes at the cost of fetal stem cellsâ? Yujin thatâs pretty damn compelling to me.â
âDidnât have the heart to sit with it. Lost the idea ⊠months ago,â she uttered.
As Gaeul scrolled through her past ideas, all of which were scrapped by now, Yujin added, âStop sifting through the shit. Those ideas are dead. I donât even remember what I was thinking about when I wrote those anymore. Just ⊠duds.â
âWhat do you like writing about, Yujin?â Gaeul asked again, setting the notepad aside. âWhat are you good at writing about? What comes easy to you?â
âDo you always ask this many questions?â Yujin scoffed, shaking her head. âI donât know, ok. Stop asking. Itâs been a long time since Iâve properly written something in full. Mindâs too ⊠foggy for this shit.â
But Gaeul shook her head. âYou donât need to think about what you used to be like as a writer anymore. Write about the present. Your ânowâ. Whatâs the first thing that comes to your mind right now?â
Yujin paused.
She allowed the wind to blow her short hair away. She allowed the leaves to rustle between her feet and tickle her ankles. She let her steady pulse beat into her eardrum like a cadence. She let her fingers twitch from time to time against her lap as if weaving verses into her skin.
When she returned to consciousness, she nodded slowly. Instead of verbalizing her thoughts, she grabbed the notepad and began scribbling a few words.
Fall. Paceful. Gentle.
I love the fall.
Gaeul saw her writing and managed a smile. âThatâs it. See? Whenever Iâm in a slump myself, I just like to, you know, doodle. Do a little silly drawing or two. Maybe you can scribble whatever you feel in the moment, or whateverâs stuck in your head. Maybe that way you can slowly get yourself going again.â
âThanks. Iâll ⊠Iâll try it out more.â
âSo what did you write?â Geaul pried, leaning on her elbows to try and take a peek at Yujinâs notes. But Yujin instinctively withdrew herself. âNot telling you. Not âtil Iâm finished.â
And as Gaeul ended up whining and throwing a bit of a fit, Yujin hid her smile behind her notepad as she stared down at what she had written.
Autumn feels warmer than I thought.
33.6
Yujin popped her earphones in and leaned back to stare at her laptop screen. There were a few lines written already. She had built up some momentum. She just needed to let it ride.
But the full cafe was making it difficult to do so.
Thatâs where the earphones came in. Yujin didnât even listen to any musicâshe stopped doing that months ago. But the noise-cancelling effect helped her focus a bit more.
She pictured Wonyoungâs smile from across the table, covering her face as she blushed, laughing at the stupid things Yujin would say to her.
Yujin felt the stab in her chest as she glanced down. When her eyes peeked back again, Wonyoung wasnât there anymore.
Yujin cursed under her breath. Just as she was about to lean forward to type again, a knee bumped into her table.
A pair of glasses glanced down at her with a smile. âIs this seat taken!â
Yujin flinched and pulled out her earphones. âGod, you donât have to scream. Got nowhere else to sit?â
Gaeul pouted. âEverywhereâs taken. I just wanted somewhere to work that wasnât home. Do you mind?â
Sighing, Yujin relented and scooted her stuff towards her half of the table.
When Gaeul sat down and unloaded her things, she took a bite out of her oatmeal cookie. As she continued nibbling on it, talking about her experiences with class, her grievances with South Korean politics, and why she thought bell-bottom jeans were a stupid trend, Yujin just watched as she stuffed her cheeks full of food, listening to the other girl yap.
She pulled out her notebook and scribbled a few things.
Chipmunk. Cute. Pet squirrel.
Glancing up, she spotted Gaeul looking at her curiously with wide eyes, cookie now completely gone. âWah? Wah yâ lâking ah?â
Yujin chuckled and shook her head.
37.4
âYujinnnnn, come onnnnn! Just a quick drink, ok? Weâll get a few drinks, get a bit plastered, and then head home. I promise.â
âRemind me again why you need me to come with you just to get hammered?â Yujin asked, pressing her phone between her cheek and shoulder as she continued trying to revise a sentence. âJust go by yourself, idiot.â
âUgh, Liz bailed on me, ok? I donât want to look like a fucking loser here at the pub. Can you get your ass over here and keep me company for like an hour or something?â
Rolling her eyes, Yujin saved her document and closed her laptop. âIâll see you in fifteen then.â
When Yujin arrived, Rei was already waiting inside, downing what seemed to be her third bottle of beer.
âSeems like youâre all done with the pre-gaming,â she teased, settling down next to her by the counter. âAww, did you feel that miserable being bailed on?â
Rei rolled her eyes and flipped her off. âIâm going to pee. Hold my seat.â
As her friend disappeared behind her, Yujin shook her head and placed Reiâs purse on top of her seat.
She took this moment alone to scan the bar for inspiration. Maybe something would catch her eye.
Aged spirits. Greasy fries. Puke bucket down by one corner. Yeah, nothing was going to give her a Eureka moment in this dingy place.
Then she caught it. The scent of almond and vanilla.
Yujin heard a waist slamming against the counter next to her followed by the sound of moaning and kissing. But when she tried to look up at it, the vision was gone. They were gone.
Chuckling, she straightened her posture and drank her beer. âAnd Iâm not even drunk yet.â
Across the room, she spotted a group of girls singing by the karaoke machine, which was new. She took another sip of her beer and squinted at them. âIs that âŠ?â
It was Kim Gaeul.
The dork was hugging her friend a little too tightly as she slurred the words to Dancing Queen. Her friends were trying so hard to clear the song, but all she could do was swing from side to side and scream and giggle into the microphone.
Wincing from the feedback, Yujin bit her lip and whipped out her notepad.
Tiny terror. Loud voice. Good singer. Confident.
âThe fuck are you writing? Did you just call me a âtiny terrorâ?â
Rei slammed into her seat, sitting on her purse. Yujin slapped her notepad against Reiâs face and laughed out loud. âShut up and pay for our drinks already. Another round!â
41.3
She needed some air. Staying at home wouldnât do.
Yujin decided to head to the mall. Not to shop. Not to go around. Just to sit down on one of the many mall benches by the ground floor and observe. Just watch.
She looked around her and began scribbling different little stories she spun her in her head.
An assassin in a Hawaiian shirt wanting revenge for his ruined vacation. Aliens disguised as naughty children so humans could teach them what itâs like to live on Earth. Pigeons with a network of communication to spy on humans and plot to take over the world with their intel.
When Yujin flipped through her notes again, she felt proud of herself.
The lines were longer. Her thoughts were clearer. Her ideas were sharper.
She felt a hand cup her cheek, and she instantly froze. âLook at you. My little writer. When are you going to write about me, hm?â
Her hand quivered against her lap. Yujin had to remind herself that it was all in her head.
Taking a deep breath, she glanced up and tried to ground herself in the moment. She tried to focus on her present. To her left, she saw a shop that sold shades and eyeglasses at fifty-percent off. That was a good deal. If she had money, she would have definitely bought one for fun.
Maybe I should get Gaeul a pair, Yujin thought, thinking the pink ones would look cute on her. She keeps pushing her glasses up. Maybe a pair with nose pads then?
Yujin pursed her lips and nodded, scribbling some ideas down.
Glases. Seeing the world differently. Tucking hair behind ear. Adjust temples of glasses. Fogged lenses. Wiping them away gently. Feeling her breath againstâ.
She widened her eyes and scratched that last one off, biting her pen in embarrassment.
44.6
Professor Shin cleared his throat and gestured towards his presentation. âEmotions. Very important. Often either forgotten and horribly underused.â
Walking through the rows of students in their seats, he paced around the classroom while commanding everyoneâs attention. âHow can you convince your readers that a character is mourning the loss of his family? How can you persuade them to feel the rush of victory after she wins the tournament? No matter how good your imagery and prose are, if you canât pass the emotion onâitâs flat. Boring.â
He stuck his tongue out and chuckled. âImmerse yourself in their world. In their shoes. Allow yourself to get swept up in their experiences. Let yourself feel itâall the emotions. That way, it can feel more real. For you. And when you write it down, for your readers too.â
Clasping his hands together, the professor rushed back to the podium and leaned against it. âWhat are you feeling right now, class? Tap into that. I want you to submit something pertaining to that emotion before the period ends.â
With that, the students began silently working on their drafts.
Yujin stared at her laptop. What was she feeling right now? What even stuck with her over the course of the last few months?
She tried to put a label on it. Grief. Confusion. Emptiness.
She tried to sit with it. Then, once the ideas started to grow, she refined them.
Yujin outlined the story of a little deer who lost its parents to hunting. Then, she outlined the tale of a robot who got sent back to the prehistoric era, realizing it now served no purpose for creatures who were far inferior to it in intellect. And finally, Yujin outlined the start of a world where color ceased to exist, and how the ocean became a hellscape for different primordial organisms.
But none of these seemed good enough. None of these ideas were good enough for Yujin.
She tried thinking about itâshe really did. There has to be a reason why she was so quick to throw away her ideas. Yujin couldnât find what the common denominator was. Lack of knowledge on the topic? Cringeworthy material? Difficult to devleop? Lacks a hook? Unoriginal? Uninspired?
Yujin wasnât sure what exactly was wrong with her ideas, with her drafts, with her plots.
They just didnât seem to ignite that special sort of fire within her.
She tossed her self-proclaimed filth aside and opened up a new document, hoping for a fresh start. She had some time before class ended. She could still make it.
Grief. Confusion. Emptiness. Loss.
Loss.
âThis is the story of a girl. A girl who lost everything,â she mouthed, mimicking what she typed. It was compelling for an introduction. It immediately hooked the readers in and made them wonder what this story was about. But as she tried to map out the plot in her head, the voices filled in the blanks for her.
âYujin, I ⊠Itâs not easy for me to say this, but we need to break up. Itâs ⊠for your own good. Mine too.â
âWe just ⊠grew apart. It happens. We canât be the same people forever, can we?â
âI love you ⊠I loved you, Yujin, but I ⊠I just need to choose myself for now. Weâre young. Weâre dumb. Thereâs still more to life than ⊠this.â
âCould you forgive me?â
When Yujin came to, all her classmates had left. She was alone in her seat, tears trickling onto the letters of her keyboard, as a bright white page stared defiantly back at her.
âWelcome back,â Professor Shin greeted her from his seat, glancing up from one of the drafts he was grading. âClass ended half an hour ago. Itâs ⊠itâs ok if you donât have anything to submit yet. In due time, youâll figure out.â
Snorting, she smudged her face with one hand before stuffing everything into her backpack and stomping out of their classroom.
Yujin couldnât put a single line onto the document.
Pacing around the small space between her desk and bed, the panicked girl mumbled to herself repeatedly. Trying to think of something. Anything. Anything she could put into writing. Anything she could bounce off of. Anything she could work with.
But she was completely dry.
Slamming her head against the wall, she yanked on her hair as if she was milking her thoughts out. âWhy is this so ⊠fucking ⊠hard. Canât believe I ever thought I could ⊠make money off of this. Build a fucking career around this.â
âMaybe ⊠maybe she was right âŠâ
Suddenly, on beat with her head banging, three knocks came from the door.
Peering through the eyehole, Yujin squinted and took one long look before backing up a few steps. She couldnât believe it.
Unlocking her door, she peeked through the small opening. âYou. What are you doing here?â
Gaeul waved at her, holding something in her hand. âHi. Is this a bad time?â
Yujin rubbed her nape and glanced back at her unwritten project, shrugging. âEvery timeâs a pretty terrible time for me, but sure. What is it?â
âI heard from Liz, who heard from Rei, that you lived around here. Didnât think Iâd find you this quick,â Gaeul teased. It made Yujin wonder if this girl really knocked on every single door until she found the right place. âI um, was going to ask if you wanted to come see a movie with me. I know the finals weeks arenât that far away, but ⊠I was supposed to watch it with Liz before focusing on projects. Except ⊠she cancelled on me. Again.â
âSeems like your friend canât really do commitment well, can she?â Yujin raised, leaning against the door. âSorry, but Iâll have to turn you down. Donât know what itâs like for you in visual arts, but we canât just finish a whole manuscript in a week. I need to get started as early as now.â
âSo you havenât started. Right?â
Yujin gritted her teeth. âNo. Thatâs why I need to get started.â
Gaeul eyed the other girlâs form, scanning her from head to toe. âAnother slump? You know you can take breaks too right?â
Yujin knew that well enough. But breaks were earned. They come after putting in the workânot before it. How could she take a âbreakâ in good faith if she knew she had barely even begun with anything?
âLook, I appreciate you looking out for me. I really do. But I donât need someone to protect me from my problemsâ.â
Gaeul waved the tickets in her face with a smirk. âIâm not trying to protect you from them. Iâm just offering another solution you havenât considered before. A change of pace, if you will.â
Huffing against the tickets, Yujin pushed them out of her face. âYou just canât handle being alone.â
âAnd you just canât handle a lack of inspiration. A muse. Itâs a win-win, donât you think?â
Palming her face, Yujin peeked between her fingers. Gaeul was still there staring up at her expectantly.
When she couldnât take the awkward silence any further, she resigned and swiped one of the tickets from the shorter girl. âFine. Just for tonight. And youâre paying for the popcorn.â
Gaeul squealed and grabbed her arm before Yujin could even retreat indoors.
Was this a date? Surely, it wasnât. They were just friends. Friends who just happened to have some common time. Made some common time for each other.
How did dates go again? Yujin couldnât remember. Itâs been ages since sheâs last gone on one.
She ordered some popcorn with Gaeulâs money, but what flavor should she get? She didnât know what Gaeul liked.
She grabbed some cups for their drinks, but ended up staring at the dispenser for a good five minutes. What did Gaeul prefer to drink? Did she even want a drink?
She held their food while Gaeul fished around her pockets for their tickets. Yujin was about to lean in and check her back pocket, but she stopped midway. Thatâs not a place meant to be touched so readily by another friend.
None of this was anything friends did for each other, right?
God, this wasnât a fucking date, was it?
Yujin didnât know anymore. If it was, she was sure she was doing terribly. She had forgotten what it was like to take someone out. She believed that, at one point, she had it all figured out already. In the past, she had known how to court someone as easily as she had known how to breathe.
But now that she was waiting for the cinema staff to mark their tickets, standing next to Gaeul, Yujin felt like she was back to square one.
She wished there was a manual for this sort of thing.
âSorry for making you carry all that. Pass them to me when we get seated,â Gaeul whispered as they entered the cinema, holding onto Yujinâs arm. âNgh, itâs cold in here. Should have broughtâ.â
Gaeul was interrupted by the laughter between two girls ahead of them, who froze in place as soon as their eyes met. âY-Yujin?â
Yujin snorted, licking the front of her teeth. âRei. Fancy seeing you here.â
âLiz?â Gaeul called out, but the blonde girl had disappeared behind her date.
âLook, I ⊠We can explainâ,â
Gaeul just chuckled and shook her head. âGo. Weâll sit away from you. Itâs practically empty on a Tuesday night. Donât mind us.â
But Yujin did mind. If Rei and Liz had just told Gaeul what was going on, she wouldnât even need to be here right now. Before Yujin could pounce on her slimy little friend, however, Gaeul was already dragging her towards the back rows away from them.
Yujin settled with giving Rei the stank eye.
Once they sat down, Yujin slumped backwards and passed Gaeul some popcorn. âItâs just butter. Sorry. I ⊠didnât know what you wanted.â
âYou know you could have asked me, right?â Gaeul raised, plucking up a kernel and munching on it. âYou got two drinks for yourself?â
âIâYou donât want one?â
She shook her head, but reached out for the cup anyway. âNot a big fan of sugary drinks. They ⊠make me all hyper. But thanks.â
Yujin couldnât swallow without feeling a grating sensation in her neck after hearing that. This was going swimmingly already.
Once the trailers were over and the movie began, the two quickly parted and rested against their seats. Yujin in particular was already preparing her notepad, eager to scribble some thoughts as they watched. This was a romance movie. Yujin had forgotten the title. It was some B-lister anyway. She was here to make the most out of her time away from her dorms. She was here to get some much needed inspiration.
âAre you always like this at the movies?â Gaeul complained, tossing her a popcorn. When she threw another one, Yujin growled and caught one with her mouth. âNo wonder youâre single.â
Yujin coughed and rose from her notes. âExcuse me? This is just a change of pace. You said it yourself. I have to work on somethingâanything. Even this could be good practice for my final submission.â
Gaeul shrank into her seat, eyes locked in front of her. âSeems like youâre a little too desperate. A little too on edge.â
In the middle of an idea, Yujin muttered, âGlad you donât have a professor whoâs been waiting for you to submit anything all semester. Seems like youâve got it easyâ.â
Gaeul pelted her with more popcorn. âThis was a chic flick too. Feeling so romantic right now.â
Smirking, Yujin closed her notepad and slipped her pen through the bindings. âWhatâs your point?â
âJust saying,â Gaeul continued, tilting her head towards Yujin. Her eyeglasses pressed against her cheek, reflecting some of the light into Yujinâs eyes. âRelax, Yujin. I wanted to take you out to also ⊠enjoy yourself. Canât you just take it easy for tonight? When was the last time you read a book, or listened to a song, or watched a movie just because you wanted to? Not because you had to write something about it?â
That was a difficult question for Yujin to answer.
Months ago, she was a voracious reader. She read almost a single book per day. Not because anyone was breathing down her back, but because she enjoyed stories. She enjoyed the art. She enjoyed crafting stories too. Small headcanons. Little bits of fanfiction. Even drafting up her own original short stories. Maybe an occasional novella or two.
Yujin wrote because it brought her joy. And now, now she wasnât so sure.
Yujin sighed. âSorry. For being a buzzkill. Rei ⊠told me I didnât always used to be like this. I think ⊠I think I got what she really meant by that now.â
Gaeul glanced over to the front rows, where Rei and Liz were too busy locking lips with each other to even notice the movie. Biting her own lip, Gaeul reached for Yujinâs hand and held it in hers. She pressed her smaller thumb against the back of Yujinâs larger palm. âYou keep comparing yourself to your past. Past you must have been really great then, huh?â
Slowing her breath, hoping she wasnât sweating like a pig, Yujin squeezed her fingers into Gaeulâs hand. âYeah. You could say that. Back in high school, I had a bit of a reputationânot to brag.â
âI kinda like this version of you though,â Gaeul replied, smiling. âThe you I see right now.â
Yujin blushed, staring ahead at the movie that still played before them. âSure. I guess. Shitâright, my notes.â
But Gaeul swiped her notebook from her and slipped it into her opposite pocket. âIf itâs important, youâll remember whatever it is later. Just sit back and enjoy the movie, Yujin. You can pick it apart later. But letting it move you? It can only happen once.â
âSo just let it.â
Taking a deep breath, Yujin dropped her shoulders, and while still holding Gaeulâs hand, continued to watch the movie with full attention this time.Â
No expectations. No deadlines. No worries. Just her, Gaeul, and this B-list romance movie.
And she was enthralled.
She enjoyed the pacing of the story. There was a nice build-up of tension and chemistry between the two main leads. She could sense the yearning from the woman, but no so much the man. Yujin thought of different ways she would have written him better.Â
She wasnât a big fan of their dialogue though. It felt off. It felt unnatural. They were saying so much but meaning so little. Yujin wondered why. She bookmarked that thought and promised herself to research more into natural exchanges between characters. She filed that away for later.
Yujin couldnât believe it. She was enjoying the film. She was getting ideas. She was learning.
Towards the end of the movie, Yujin felt a bundle of hair drape all over her shoulder. Beside her, Gaeul, rested her head on her, getting comfortable. âItâs cold. Let me stay like this for a while.â
Yujin stiffened up and didnât move an inch. She swapped between the movie, their connected hands, and Gaeulâs sleeping face.
Yujin couldnât fight back a smile even if she tried.
55.7
âAre you kidding me? This is for kids.â
As Yujin stared down at the flashing vest strapped around her chest, she swung the rifle by her side. She felt like an idiot. It didnât help that some of the parents were looking at her and Gaeul from the window. âLaser tag? You brought me out here just to playâ.â
A kid shot Yujin with his laser gun and scrambled off all gleefully.
Gaeul sought revenge for her and chased after the little rascal, exchanging shots with each other. Yujin just watched as Gaeul took a handful of kids all on her own, getting overwhelmed by the little buggers. She didnât go down without a fight, laughing out loud as she struggled to hit a single one of them.
Cute.
Just then, her own vest powered down momentarily.
In front of Yujin, she saw Gaeul allying with the kids, who had all taken aim at her body. ââJust laster tagâ, huh? Put your money where your mouth is, An Yujin.â
As soon as her lights came back on, Yujin cocked her gun forwards with a smirk and closed one eye. âRun.â
And just like that, all of them fled, screaming for their lives.
63.4
âHow about this song? Is this more like it?â
When Gaeul approved of her choice, Yujin placed the speaker down on the ground next to the other girl, allowing it to place Tchaikovskyâs Swan Lake for the whole room.
Gaeul closed her eyes, and holding her brush, she did a little ballet twirl before settling back onto her feet. âMmm, that hits the spot. This will help.â
Yujin wasnât sure what she was brought here for, but she kept quiet as Gaeul continued painting on her canvas. The other girl dragged her to school on a weekend to keep her company as she worked on her project for a presentation. Yujin only agreed because she thought could spend this time writing. But who was she kiddingâshe was too enamored watching Gaeul work.
Leaning towards her, Yujin took a better look.
Gaeul was halfway done with her project. It was a painting of a girl wading through an ocean of dandelions. The subject was framed at the center of her canvas, but what stood out to Yujin was how detailed the foreground and background was.
She noticed the way each cloud was painted with the different strokes of Gaeulâs brush. The way the whites blended with the blues, which seamlessly transitioned into the greens and yellows. The interplay between light and shadow to define the curves and ridges of the girlâs clothes. The way she was drawn to be staring right at the viewerâat Yujinâlike she had something to say, but couldnât find the right words to express herself.
âWow,â Yujin uttered, leaning closer and closer. âAll thatâs missing is the rest of her faceâ.â
Gaeul painted a stroke of blue onto Yujinâs cheek. âBack off! Youâre distracting me.â
Yujin touched her face and felt the wet paint. She grabbed one of Gaeulâs brushes, dipped it into some red, and splattered it against her neck.
âYa! What was that for?â Gaeul screamed. She dipped her finger into some green and swiped it against Yujinâs nose. But Yujin wasnât having it. She picked up a whole can of yellow and threatened to toss it at her. âYaâYA! AN YUJIN! PUT THAT DOWN!â
The two girls ended up chasing each other like children around the art room, spilling paint and colors all over themselves.
68.2
âGaeul? Gaâ.â
She was asleep. Gaeul had fallen asleep.
Yujin bit her lip as she stared at the older girlâs expressionless face. She looked so peaceful resting like that. She looked like an angel. She looked nothing like the little rave monster she was earlier during the concert they attendedâthrusting her hands up in the air, bouncing up and down, bumping into other people.
Yujin tried to hide her smile, but it only widened when she recalled the way the sweaty girl clung to her while singing each line perfectly.
Shaking her head, Yujin let Gaeul sleep on her shoulder. But within moments, Gaeulâs head sunk lower against her chest.
The bus rang. Their stop was shortly arriving. Yujin was about to shake Gaeul awake, but she stopped when she heard her mumble.
âStay ⊠please âŠâ
Glancing out the window, cheeks heating up to a million degrees, Yujin pulled Gaeul closer to her person and wrapped one arm around her. She secured the other girl against her body and held her tightly.
âOk.â
71.1
Professor Shin raised both of his hands outwards to his sides as he beheld his final piece of advice to the class.
âPlotting the story is one thing. Now finishing it? Finishing it is another process of its own. This entire semester, weâve worked together to craft the different bits and pieces of your stories, of your works. Now, weâre here to conclude it.â
He gestured towards their notebooks and laptops. âOnly when youâve gotten it out of your system and crafted it to completion can you really evaluate your work properly. Judging whatâs in your mind is easy. Judging bits and pieces of an unfinished symphony is moot. But judging the undeniable proof of your complete creation? Thatâs the difficult part. Itâs mentally taxing. Itâs straining. Itâs ⊠embarrassing.â
âHow could I have created such a thing? Is this really me? I swear, I could have written better! Next time, I guarantee it!â he mocked, playing out several internal monologues, earning some laughter from the class. âBut donât hate yourself. Donât even hate what youâve done. Learn to acknowledge what youâve written and move forward with it from there. But first, you need to accept what you have.â
Yujin stared down at what she had, which was, in fact, barely one-fourth of the expected output for this class.
âStare at your writing straight in the eye and acknowledge it for what it is. Only then can you really begin to work out what went right, what went wrong, what to improve on, what to continue. Only then can you really grow your writing.â
Yujin still had a lot to work on. Compared to her classmates who were already revising their second or even third drafts, she was still stuck trying to finish her first. But she couldnât even think about it now. She was all too eager to leave. To head out.
The writing could wait.
So as soon as their professorâs alarm rang, she was the first one out the door. Yujin had bolted out so fast that her professorâs beckoning drowned out almost immediately against the sea of students flooding the corridors.
Yujin had never been to this side of campus much before, but she hoped this was the right place. She remembered where the art rooms were, so she figured the classrooms were on the higher floors of the same building.
âWhoâs this girl? Someoneâs sister?â
âYa, wasnât she that one girl who ⊠you know ⊠earlier this semester?â
âAre you lost? Only art majors are allowed here!â
Ducking past the different students crowding the hallways heading towards their next classes, Yujin weaved through them until she found who she was looking for. She reached out for her and nearly grabbed her arm. âGaeul!â
Gaeul turned around, glasses nearly falling off her face. Surprised, she pushed them back up her nose and picked up her bag. âOh, Yujin. What are you ⊠what are you doing here?â
Yujin smiled, bowing politely to the other sunbae Gaeul was talking to until they left. âSo youâre all done? With your presentation? How did it go?â
Gaeul blinked twice. Walking down the corridor, Yujin followed her as she told her about it. âYou remembered. Thatâs sweet of you. It went well. It ⊠it was good! I think I did well trying to explain my paintings. Although I mostly did impressionist styles ⊠They were hoping for more variety and all that.â
âSomething about art and pretentiousness, huh?â Yujin teased, meriting her an elbow to the spleen. âAre you ⊠are you free right now then? Or do you still have class âŠ?â
Gaeul stopped in her tracks. âWhatâs this now?â
Rubbing her nape, Yujin stuffed her hands in her pockets and swung herself in place. âI ⊠Thereâs a housewarming party for a sunbae I knew back in high school. She said we could bring a plus one. And ⊠I was thinking of asking you.â
âNot Rei? She sounds like she could use a drink right now from what sheâs been posting,â Gaeul teased, pursing her lips.
âNo, I ⊠I wanted you to come along with me.â
Silence.
Sighing, Gaeul inched towards the younger girl until their shoulders bumped. âI wanted to rest tonight, Yujin. Iâm really tired. I just wanted to get through this presentation honestly. But ⊠since youâre offering, thatâs rare.â
âSure. Iâll come with you.â
Yujin tried to hide her excitement, but Gaeul already knew all her tells. Lip biting, eyebrow scrunching, rapid foot tappingâit wasnât even hard for Gaeul at this point. âThatâs ⊠thatâs great. Yeah. So ⊠tonight?â
âTonight,â Gaeul affirmed. She tiptoed and pecked Yujin on the cheek. âWear something nice.â
Yujin couldnât even say anything in reply as she froze in place, watching the older girl skip away with her backpack in hand.
âYeah ⊠something nice âŠâ
83.3
Yujinâs definition of something nice meant skinny jeans, a plain white blouse, and a trench coat.
Gaeulâs definition of something nice involved a hot pink spaghetti strap top paired with a carnation-colored mini-skirt underneath her parka.
Yujin could not keep her eyes off of Gaeul during the entire walk to the party. All that filled her vision was the color pink. When Gaeul caught her staring, she just pulled Yujin closer and pressed up against the younger girl.
When they made it to the party, Gaeul dropped the parka just as Yujin knocked on the door. Yujin got a good look at her bare shoulders and how they rose and fall with her breathing. She found that adorable. Her attention was immediately pulled away, however, when the door opened.
âOh my god, Yujin! You actually came!â
Yujin blushed in embarrassment as her high school sunbae pulled her in for a hug. âGod, I missed you so much. Itâs been what, three years? Look at youâyouâre all grown up now! Aiya, but you never called or texted.â
âSheâs quite good at that,â Gaeul teased, stretching a hand out to greet the girl. âGaeul. Kim Gaeul. Itâs nice to meet you.â
Yujinâs sunbae bit her lips and nodded towards Yujin. âMm, not bad, Yujin you. Minju. Kim Minju. So nice to meet you too, Gaeul. Come inside. Partyâs already started.â
As they stepped into the apartment and joined the other guests at the party, Gaeul wasted no time in dragging Yujin around with her. It was clear from the get-go that Gaeul was taking the lead tonight.
Although Yujin was the one who was invited to this party, it was Gaeul who initiated everything.
She was the one who pushed Yujin out of her shyness to shamelessly grab the snacks and drinks Yujin wanted to but couldnât get out of embarrassment. She was the one who asked Yujin to introduce her to some of her old high school buddies and sunbaeâto help the younger girl catch up with some familiar faces. She was the one who had to make sure Yujin wasnât getting to drunk. The one who had to remind Yujin not to stare so much at her or get too handsy just yet. The one who had to pull Yujin close, to make her sway her hips to the rhythm of the music, to grind against her as they felt each otherâs pulses beating louder than the bass.
As Yujin pressed her forehead against Gaeul, who now had her arms wrapped around her neck, she closed her eyes and smiled.
She was the one being dragged around, but Yujin has never felt more alive outside of this moment.Â
All felt comfortable now. All felt well.Â
Suddenly, everything was alright again in Yujinâs world. Suddenly, she remembered how life was supposed to be.
86.5
But her whole world came undone with just one word.
âYujin?â
Separating from Gaeul, Yujinâs eyes widened in terror. âWon ⊠young âŠ?â
71.9
Wonyoung smiled at her.Â
It was the polite smile someone gave their ex after not seeing them for a while. It was cordial. It was meek. But it didnât have an ounce of longing left in it either. âLong time no see. I didnât think weâd meet here of all places at Minju-unnieâs party.â
Yujin pushed Gaeul out of her arms, leaving the other girl stumbling backwards. She took a step towards Wonyoung, limbs trembling like she had seen a ghost. âWonyoung you ⊠youâre here ⊠You look ⊠you look great âŠâ
That wasnât what she meant to say, but it came out of her anyway. Wonyoung just chuckled awkwardly and shook her head. âBeen better. Thanks though. Oh, let me introduce you.â
From behind her, she gently pulled forward a girl. Shorter than her. Daintier than her. Almost as pretty as her.
Holding her hand up to her chest, Wonyoung presented the woman to Yujin. âThis is Jihye. My um, my girlfriend. Jihye this is Yujin. An old ⊠friend of mine.â
An old friend of mine.
An old friend.
Old friend.
Friend.
Jihye beamed like an angel and reached a hand out towards Yujin. âPlease, call me Danielle instead. Or Dani! If you prefer haha. Nice to meet you, by the way!â
64.3
âYujin?â Wonyoung repeated, calling out to her. But Yujin couldnât say a thing.Â
How could she? The person who had been the cause of all her painâall her sufferingâfor the past eight months was suddenly right in front of her again, looking as perfect as the day she Yujin lost her. Except now, she was with someone else. Someone new.
And worst of allâshe was happy. Wonyoung was happy.
Without her.
Wonyoung breathed through her teeth before turning Danielle away from the sight of the unmoving girl. âWeâll um, weâll see you around, Yujin. Hope you enjoy the party too.â
It was only when Wonyoung had left that Yujin came back to her senses.
She glanced down at her shaking hands filled with sweat. âWonyoung, she ⊠she âŠâ
Gaeul reached out to squeeze her hand. âYa, what was that about? Did you know her?â
Yujin glanced up and saw Wonyoung laughing along with Minju, Danielle, and a few other people around them, holding Danielle by the waist against her lithe frame. All Yujin could feel was this chilling dread that scattered all over her chest, clawing at her lungs, swallowing her whole.
âWonyoung âŠâ
52.9
Yujin couldnât help but hover around Wonyoung, just barely out of sight. A part of her didnât know why she was doing this. But a part of her knew she needed thisâa part of her knew she needed to know more.
Through the conversations sheâs eavesdropped on, she found out several things about Wonyoung. Things that have happened to her since they broke up.
Wonyoung joined their universityâs swimming teamâeven if Yujin knew that woman wanted nothing to do with sports.
Wonyoung learned how to play the keyboard, and now played at gigs around townâeven if Yujin knew she was terrible at anything musical.
Wonyoung was getting ready for an early internship this coming semesterâeven if Yujin knew she loathed conforming to what her parents wanted her to do.
Time and again, Yujin found Wonyoung doing the opposite of what she had expectedâof what she had known the girl to be.
âThis is all thanks to Jihye, of course,â Wonyoung proudly announced, lifting up a glass of wine to her girlfriend. âWithout Danielle, I donât think ⊠I donât think I would have moved forward in my life like this.â
âSure are a lucky girl,â Minju teased, citing the old âLucky Vickyâ nickname they gave her back when they were teens. But Danielle shook her head, lacing an arm through Wonyoungâs. âNo, she knows Iâm the lucky one when it comes to our relationship.â
Yujin wanted to vomit.
45.1
âYujin what is going on? You donât look so ⊠good,â Gaeul asked for the nth time tonight. Wherever Yujin went, she followed like a lost little lamb without a single clue about what was happening. âYou know what, letâs ⊠letâs go home. I think youâve had a bit much to drink, andâ.â
But Yujin swatted at her shook her head.
How?
How was it possible? How was it possible that after their breakup, Wonyoung was this ⊠happy? Why was Yujin the only one who left their relationship feeling hurt? Feeling destroyed? Feeling ⊠empty? Did it mean nothing to Wonyoung? Did their relationship not mean as much as Yujin had thought to the other girl?
Yujin thought back to all the restless nights she spent staying up mourning for Wonyoung. All the daylight she burnt just wasting away out of sheer sorrow and despair. All the self-hatred, self-loathing, and self-admonition that she had to carry with her. Every. Single. Moment. Because of herâbecause of Wonyoung.
It wasnât fair. It wasnât fucking fair at all.
She needed to know. She desperately needed to know. Why was Wonyoung like this?
Why was Yujin the only one who was hurt?
So before Gaeul could say anything in protest, Yujin swallowed tensely and shoved her beer into Gaeulâs hands. Then, she stomped her way towards Wonyoung when she saw the other girl was alone. She grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her away into the balcony area to talk to her.
Alone.
Whining in protest, Wonyoung withdrew her hand from Yujinâs firm grip and rubbed at her wrist. âTchâJesus, Yujin. What was that all about? If you have something to say, you could have justâ.â
âWhatâs all this?â
Wonyoung eyed her weirdly. âWhatâs what?â
âAll this.â Yujin asked again, gesturing towards Wonyoung as a whole. She wasnât sure what she was saying. She wasnât even sure what her point was. But it all came flowing out of her nonetheless. âIs this ⊠even real? Are you even for real right now?â
Wonyoung crossed her arms, pausing, thinking of what to say. âWhatâs your problem with me this time?â
âWe broke up, Wonyoung,â Yujin stressed, pressing a hand to her forehead as she paced around the length of the balcony. âWe fucking broke up and ⊠and you walked into this party ⊠back into my life ⊠like everything was fine? Like nothing happened between us? You do sports now. You ⊠perform at gigs? You even want to go on that internship ⊠the one your motherâs been pestering you to attend for years now? I just ⊠I just canât believe it.â
âYouâve changed, Wonyoung âŠâ Yujin muttered. When she finally admitted it, she felt how out of breath she was. She felt how much her lips quivered. She felt how unsteady her balance had become.
Wonyoung sighed, dropping her shoulders. She shook her head. âMaybe ⊠Maybe itâs because Iâve grown, Yujin. Iâve ⊠changed.â
âLiar.â
When Wonyoung glanced up at Yujin, she found her ex shaking her head hysterically. Chuckling to herself, Yujin pointed a shaking finger at her. âFucking ⊠liar! You ⊠you were never like this, Wonyoung. You were neverâaghhâyou were never like this at all! You werenât like this when we ⊠when we were together âŠâ
âMaybe this was just how Iâve always been, Yujin. Maybe this is just me without you.â
39.2
âWhat we had was ⊠fun, Yujin. But we both knew our relationship ⊠wouldnât work, right? It wouldnât ⊠last.â
33.8
âOur lives, we ⊠we wanted different things. We wanted different courses. Wanted different careers. We ⊠wanted different paths. We had different ⊠things we valued.â
26.7
Wonyoung stepped forward, and Yujin stepped back, pressing up against the balcony. Sighing, Wonyoung bowed her head again in apology. The next words she uttered came out slow and heavy. âYujin, I ⊠I loved how lively ⊠and spontaneous ⊠and optimistic you were. At least, how you used to be. But Yujin, I ⊠I need something more than just good feelings in my life. I need more than just carefree laughter, or midnight memories, or stolen moments. My life ⊠I want something more than just promises. I want assurance. I ⊠I want stability. I want security. Certainty.â
âI want something that can last.â
She couldnât believe it. Yujin couldnât believe it.
She remembered it all.
She remembered how soft Wonyoungâs hand felt in hers. How silky her hair felt against her face as she embraced her from behind. How light and warm her laughter was to her ears. How gentle her guiding words were. How cozy she felt all pressed up against her in bed. How gut-wrenching it felt whenever she was away. How precious Wonyoungâs smile was to herâeven in memory alone. And how shattered Yujin felt whenever they fought over stupid things.
Yujin remembered it all. Perfectly. She remembered Wonyoung like she always has been. Unchanging.
But before her right now was not that same Wonyoung she once knew anymore. And Yujin just couldnât take it. She couldnât take it all.
It would have been alright if Wonyoung stopped there. Yujin could have lived with it if she hadnât continued.
But she did.
âDanielle? She ⊠she gives me what I wantâwhat I need. All of it. With her, Iâm ⊠Iâm genuinely happy, Yujin. Iâm not guessing anymore if Iâm ⊠if Iâm really loved for who I am. I donât need to ⊠tiptoe anymore. Donât have to worry about hurting her feelings because ⊠because I might be doing things she wouldnât want me to do. So I suggest you ⊠you go out there and start finding your happiness too.â
21.4
Yujin shuddered. She wasnât sure if it was the winter evening air, or the lack of layers on her, or the harsh truth that she was forced to face right in front of herâwhatever it was, Yujinâs entire core trembled. âI fought for you ⊠you know that? When the whole school called you a pick-me princess, I ⊠I tore through half of our year level just to remind them they were messing with the wrong girl. I-I ⊠stood up for you. I took ⊠every ⊠fucking ⊠insult your family slung at meâpoor, misguided, delinquent, idiot. Just ⊠just for you. I stayed up for you just so you had someone to rant to each night. I lied for you just so you wouldnât have to force yourself to be perfect in front of everyone. I ⊠I cried for you ⊠every single night since you were gone ⊠I shattered myself for you ⊠wasted myself for you ⊠waiting ⊠in the hopes ⊠that youâd come back to me one day ⊠again ⊠I-I-I ⊠I almost died for you ⊠because ⊠because nothingâgod, nothing made sense without you anymore!â
âOur relationship ⊠all of what we went through together ⊠all those years ⊠did it ⊠did it even mean anything to you, Wonyoung âŠ?â
Wonyoung took a final deep breath and smiled. âYou were ⊠a wonderful experience, Yujin.â
17.1
âBut you were ⊠everything to me ⊠Wonyoung âŠâ
12.3
As soon as Yujinâs knees hit the ground and she curled forward, squeezing and tugging at her guts, the moment the waterworks came bursting out of her along with her pained wails, all the suffering and despair Yujin had felt since they had broken up came clawing its way out of her throat and into the night.
And just like the day everything ended, just like how it was back then all those months ago, all Wonyoung did was mutter the word âgoodbyeâ as she left without a trace, floating away like a ghost, never to be seen again.
Never again.
Yujin got wasted beyond redemption.
Minju had to pry her away from downing the last bottle of whiskeyâthe same bottle she was gifted as a housewarming gift by one of her college friends. Yujin was sweating through every pore in her body, unable to stand steady for more than two seconds at a time. She couldnât recognize any of the faces hovering over her. She couldnât hear anything that anyone was saying. She couldnât even stop the world from spinning around her.
But it wasnât enough. This wasnât enough for her at all.
Not if she wanted to cleanse Wonyoung from her system.
They tried to haul her up. They tried to kick her out of the apartment. But Minju was too kind. She couldnât do that to an old friend. And Yujin was strong. She could easily wrestle against three different guys at once if she had to.
Thankfully, Gaeul was able to walk her out of the apartment and towards the fire escape without any issues. There, she rested Yujin against the wall to sober up for a bit.
By the time they were alone, Yujin had gone quiet. She was empty. She was numb. She could only glance at the tiles on the floorâhollow and dead inside.
Squatting down in front of Yujin, Gaeul dabbed at her face with her handkerchief. Yujin didnât even flinch at all. She lurched forward like she needed to vomit, making Gaeul fall backwards, but when she swallowed roughly and signaled she was alright, Gaeul shook her head and crawled towards her again.
âSo. Are you sober enough to tell me what the hell went down back there?â Gaeul demanded, poking Yujinâs cheek with the cloth. âIf not, then I am never going out with you again, An Yujinâ.â
âWonyoung.â
Gaeul paused, letting Yujin continue. She knew something was completely off. The girl next to her wasnât herself at all. Her eyes were darting all over the place. Her breathing was erratic. She sounded ⊠broken.Â
âWonyoung, she ⊠sheâs my ex,â Yujin began to explain, pushing down stomach acids between each breath. âWe dated for three years ⊠three ⊠fucking ⊠years ⊠and ⊠and she suddenly showed up ⊠and ⊠she has another ⊠another girl, and ⊠we talked ⊠talked about ⊠about âŠâ
Yujin pinched her eyes shot and began sobbing into her arm. âI fucked up ⊠Iâm so fucking messed up, Gaeul âŠâ
Gaeul rubbed her head, trying to soothe her. But the younger girl wouldnât relent, pushing her words out and past her tears. âW-We were childhood friends ⊠high school s-s-sweethearts ⊠Everyone said we were ⊠we were inseparable ⊠And we knew that, we ⊠we agreed to go to college together ⊠share the same apartment ⊠find work in the same city, a-and ⊠and it was all ⊠all for nothing.â
âAll for nothing âŠâ
Gaeul wanted to say something, but Yujin interjected. âSomething felt missing ⊠for her ⊠for Wonyoung ⊠I knew that from the start ⊠More than friends, but ⊠not enough to be really ⊠really lovers ⊠But we rode with it ⊠we kept dating ⊠and I didnât mind. I was happy ⊠happy with how we were ⊠But Wonyoung âŠ?â
She remembered every last word Wonyoung told her that day. And she remembered every last word Wonyoung told her tonight.
Biting her lips firmly, Yujin slammed her fist into the floor. âBut she couldnât ⊠couldnât ⊠it wasnât enough for her ⊠We broke up Valentineâs ⊠Valentineâs of freshman year ⊠Said she couldnât keep doing this anymore ⊠couldnât keep going on in a relationship that ⊠that makes her want more ⊠need more âŠâ
Yujin reached out for Gaeulâs arm and held it faintly. âGaeul, I ⊠I tried ⊠ok? I tried to be more ⊠for her ⊠But still it ⊠it wasnât enough ⊠it was never enough, I ⊠I-I could never be enough ⊠for ⊠her âŠâ
Yujin punched her cheek. Again. And again. And again. Gaeul was sobbing next to her, trying to hold back her punches, but Yujin was stronger than her. Each hit connected with a loud blow.
âI ⊠fucking ⊠hate myself ⊠I hate how Wonyoung ⊠how Wonyoungâs unaffected by all this ⊠how ⊠Iâm the only one hurting ⊠how ⊠how Wonyoungâs changed ⊠but Iâm ⊠Iâm still the same ⊠Haha ⊠worse even ⊠I hate how I lost someone so âŠ. beautiful ⊠and precious. .. a-andâfuck ⊠FUCK! I HATE how pathetic I am ⊠Iâm so pathetic Gaeul ⊠so ⊠so âŠâ
âBut youâre not alone, Yujin.â
Pressing Yujinâs balled fists against her own cheeks, Gaeul sniffled and looked Yujin in her reddened eyes. âYujin ⊠you have us. You have your friends, you have Rei, you have your writing, and ⊠and you have me.â
It would have been fine. It would have all been alright if Yujin just stopped there. But whether it was due to her inebriation or due to her swelling apathy, Yujin pushed past her better senses and said what she said next.
âYou donât know me enough, Gaeul ⊠You donât fucking know me at all.â
Gaeul froze, shrinking smaller into the space between Yujinâs clenched legs.
The drunken girl chuckled, shaking her head. âI could watch the whole world burn tomorrow ⊠and I wouldnât give a fuck. As long as I have her, I ⊠sheâs all ⊠sheâs all I ever needed âŠâ
âSheâs all I ever fucking needed âŠâ
Withdrawing her hands from Yujinâs person, Gaeul wiped her fingers against her sides as if in disgust. âSo did the time we spent together mean nothing to you then, Yujin?â
She shouldnât have, but she replied, staring right at Gaeul. âYou canât compare to her. Wonyoung was my everything. Sheâsâ.â
SLAP.
It stungâswift and sharp. It deafened her for more than a moment. By the the time Yujin recovered, Gaeul was already walking away from her, leaving the mess of a girl all by herself.
Yujin didnât know a slap could sober someone up this fast. Because the moment Gaeulâs footsteps disappeared, she found herself kneeling over her own shadow and bursting into tears again.
Crying harder than she ever did tonight.
9.6
Bottles on the floor, hunched over her laptop, Yujinâs eyes fluttered open. The deadline for their final draft was tomorrow. How many words were on her screen?
Zero.
She fought the urge, but she cavedâshe vomited all over her keyboard. Then, she passed out onto her gruel.
7.5
Banging her head on the wall, blood trickling and drying against her forehead, Yujin thought back to Wonyoung. She thought back to what she had said on the balcony that night, and she thought back to what she could have said to Wonyoung to change things.
But when her mind wandered over to what Gaeul had said to her, and what she had said in reply to Gaeul, she ended up bursting into tears and readily faced the wall again.
She banged her head against it harder.
4.1
Hundreds of unread messages from friends. Several missed calls from Rei. Packages left outside her door meant to supply her through her isolation. Dozens of letters from the university.Â
Noneânot a single one of them were from Gaeul.
Yujin ripped up her pillow and sobbed between the torn halves, biting and clawing at them for any semblance of relief.
2.4
âSo, welcome back. How have you managed this semester?â
Yujin didnât respond. Her mind was everywhere and nowhere at once. She couldnât remember what the university counselor had just asked her. She couldnât even remember how she got here.
Trying to keep the conversation afloat, the woman nodded. âOk ⊠did you try doing what I asked you to? Could I take a look at it if you did?â
Ratings. Homework. Mood.
Yujin snapped. Finally, something she recognized. Something she could focus on. She pulled out a couple of stapled papers from her bag and slapped it onto the desk.
The counselor skimmed through them.
âHm,â she grunted, checking it again to be sure. âThese are all ⊠zeroes.â
Yujin didnât respond.
Sighing, the counselor took a deep breath. âIs this the truth? Thatâs all I need to know. Then, Iâll let you go.â
Yujin should have nodded. She should have just accepted the offer for an early release. But a voice trickled into the back of her mindâit was Professor Shin.
Sit with it. Accept what you have. Acknowledge it.
Acknowledge it.
Begrudgingly, like she was moving through molasses, Yujin picked up the tattered bundle of papers she had kept beneath the first one. It was worn. It was torn in some places. It was dried from her tears. But she presented it to the counselor, and pushed it across her table.
The woman took more time now to read to completion what Yujin had written.
Whistling, she clicked her teeth. âNow thisâthis feels more realistic. Bit of fluctuations here and there. Seems like you had a ⊠bumpy ride.â
It seemed about right to Yujin. She was ready to go if thatâs all that the counselor wanted to talk about.
âBut I noticed a peak. Right about here,â she encircled with a finger. âWhat happened during this period? What happened to you, Yujin?â
Yujin trembled. Her fingers wouldnât stop digging into the side of her legs. She knew this was coming. She knew this was going to happen. Yujin immediately regretted showing her the truth. This was the last thing Yujin wanted to be forced to confront.
She was the last thing Yujin wanted to remember right now.
âYujin!â
âYujin~â
âYujin âŠâ
But when she closed her eyes, even for just a moment, it wasnât Wonyoungâs voice that she could hear in her head anymore. It wasnât even Wonyoungâs face, or her touch, or her memories that played in her mind whenever the void reached out to claim her.
It was Gaeulâs. It was Kim Gaeulâs.
âThereâs ⊠someone.â
Yujin started, and immediately, the counselor perked up. Biting her lip, Yujin couldnât stomach what she was about to say, but she spewed it out anyway. âSheâs a year above me. A ⊠bright ball of sunshine you just want to ⊠stuff in your pocket and keep to yourself. Warmer than ⊠a delicious cup of hot cocoa on a cold winter night. Gentle. Childlike. But also ⊠very mature. She ⊠she turns off all the⊠voices and static in my head when Iâm with her. Until all I can tune in to ⊠until all I can think about ⊠is her âŠâ
She lifted a hand up to her face and immediately felt how damp it was. Chuckling, she let out a shaky breath and looked up at her counselor for the first time since visiting her. âShe gave back color to my life and now ⊠now I ⊠I messed up âŠâ
âI messed up âŠâ
âYouâre dismissed then.â
Widening her eyes, Yujin pressed against her eyebags and wiped her tears away. âWhat âŠ?â
âYou heard me,â the counselor repeated with a smile, filing Yujinâs papers into a cabinet beneath her. âGo to her, Yujin. Donât tell me what youâve realized. Tell her.â
Tell her.
13.5
Yujin tore through the corridor of the administrative building and pressed the elevator buttons rapidly. When she couldnât wait for more than a few seconds for a response, she cursed at it and ran towards the stairs instead.
24.9
Catching her breath, she broke out onto the campus streets and made her way to the visual arts department. Hair flowing in the wind, dried lips clenched together, fingers clutching her heavy backpack.
39.1
Crawling against the sides of the wall, she dragged herself up flight after flight of stairs as she forced students and teachers alike to step out of her way, stopping for no one as she rampaged through the building.
45.8
And once she finally made it to her classroomâin the same classroom where she last saw herâYujin slowed down only to compose herself.
This was it. Her only chance.
She motioned to knock, but it was already open. Peering inside, Yujin spotted a single girl sitting on a stool with her back to the door, clutching a brush in one hand and her palette in the other.
It was Kim Gaeul.
59.2
Silence filled the room. It was only broken by the squeaking of her shoes.
Yujin cursed. Gaeul surely must have heard that. But she remained unfazedâshe continued painting her canvas in elegant and controlled strokes. Simply not caring at all.
Rubbing her nape, Yujin took a few steps towards Gaeul. It wasnât until the sixth step that the other girl spoke up at last. âWhat do you want with me?â
Yujin froze. âI know you donât want me to be hereâ.â
âI really donât. Iâm glad you know it.â
âBut I ⊠I came here to um ⊠to say something to youâ.â
âReally? I donât care. Feel free to leave.â
66.3
Yujin bit her lip and took another step towards Gaeul. Then another. Then, another.
âI ⊠I donât really deserve this chance, but ⊠but fuck ⊠Iâm sorry. I was drunk. I didnât know what I was saying, but ⊠I was wrong. I was really wrong ⊠and now, I-I ⊠I know better.â
Sighing, Gaeul turned to face Yujin. Her expression was neutral. âThatâs a start. And?â
âA-And ⊠you knowâ.â
âHm? What do I know, Yujin?â Gaeul interjected, crossing her arms while still holding her materials. âYou apologized. Youâre done. What more do you have to say to me?â
Yujin gritted her teeth. Gaeul was making it difficult, but she knew she deserved it. âYou know what I mean ⊠about ⊠you. About ⊠us âŠâ
Gaeul shrugged, pointing at Yujin with her brush. âNo. I donât. I really donât. And if youâre going to just stand there instead of saying what you really mean, then I donât want to see you here. Or hear from you. Ever. Again.â
74.5
Yujin closed the gap between them in a heartbeat and held onto Gaeulâs shoulders, leaving the older girl with nowhere else to look other than right into Yujinâs eyes, where tears began to form.
âI like you.â
The words sounded so foreign, yet so familiar. She hadnât said those three words in a long time. Yujin wasnât used to it yet. Yujin didnât think she would be ready to say them again this soon. But with Gaeul, it came out easier than she expected.Â
âI like you, Gaeul, I ⊠I really do. And I know ⊠I know ok ⊠Iâm not ⊠perfect. Iâm not ⊠easy. Iâm not ⊠exactly well. Iâm still trying to put myself back together againâyouâve seen it ⊠But ⊠god, I just ⊠I just now thereâs one thing right about my life so far. And thatâs you. I donât know where the hell Iâm headed or ⊠or what Iâm going to be doing next, but ⊠when youâre around? Itâs ⊠itâs bearable. Life is ⊠bearable. When youâre around me ⊠it makes me feel alright ⊠and I ⊠youâre the only voice I can hear in my head ⊠like Iâm tuned into you ⊠all the time âŠâ
Shaking, gasping, and utterly out of breath, Yujin choked on her last words. âI just want you with me ⊠If youâll have me ⊠I ⊠I want you by my side again ⊠all the time ⊠Please?â
âI love youâ.â
She felt a pair of lips press up against hers, and immediately, Yujinâs heart bounced all over her chest. She felt ⊠different. She tasted ⊠different. This wasnât exactly what she remembered kissing to be like, but she could get used to it.
It was nice. It was warm. It felt wonderful.
83.1
When Gaeul pulled away, she almost wished she could dip back in again, but Yujin tempered herself and waited. Pressing a finger to Yujinâs lips, Gaeul chuckled. âI know, silly. Iâve known since way back that you were into me. Iâm glad you finally realized that.â
âWhat âŠ? S-Since when?â
Gaeul smirked and whispered. âSince you kept staring at me at our first party together. You looked like such a dork watching me dance. It was almost embarrassing seeing you like that.â
Yujin hid her face against Gaeulâs shoulder before peeking up from it. âSorry.â
âYou have gutsâIâll give you that. Crawling back to your rebound, begging for her back, especially after telling her she could never compare to your ex-girlfriend,â Gaeul teased, shaking her head. âWhat made you so sure I was still willing to take you back? Was the slap not clear enough for you?â
âI-I ⊠I just ⊠I had to tryâ.â
âAnd what would you have done if I said no? Gosh, youâre such a loser,â Gaeul continued, chuckling, holding Yujin close too. âBut youâre my loser now, arenât you?â
âThatâs it. Iâm dead. Iâm gone. Iâmâ.â
Gaeul pulled her in for a deeper, more passionate kiss to shut her up and stop her from ruining the moment.
Once Gaeul had finally staked her claim, once they had felt how the other had really felt for them, once their first moment of intimate connection was etched eternally across each otherâs lips, Gaeul gently withdrew herself only to press her nose back against Yujinâs.
âWhatever this is ⊠whatever we become ⊠letâs figure it out as we go, ok?â
âOk,â Yujin replied, nuzzling up against her new lover. âWhatever it takes. Together.â
And just like that, the voices have never been more silent in Yujinâs head.
94.7
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A/N 1: Hope you enjoyed this week's track. Sorry if it was a bit delayed. Struggled with my confidence in writing. Like Yujin, I felt like this was a dud. But I wanted to get this fic out there nonetheless. Hope it wasn't too bad.
A/N 2: Bonus points if you have played Dispatch before. Love that game. Love this song. IVE Dispatch AU maybe?
âWell⊠say something about me.â Somi suddenly stops drumming her fingertips on the counter and brings them to yours. The contact burns. Itâs the tiniest arson ever committed.
Hey, youâre in a bar. Itâs not supposed to be anything personal. You ought to drink and dance and hope you get tipsy enough to forget about everything. But youâre here, forced to cope with a dilemma of feelings, and the fact that beyond her loudness, she still cares about you.Â
It goes deeper than personal.
âIââ How do you say this? Hope this easy smile gets you out of trouble. Or in trouble, whichever is best. âI think youâre the hottest girl Iâve ever met. Kind of⊠a little wild, too. I like that, you know.â
Somi smiles, slowly and painfully. Itâs killing you in a thousand different waysâby knife, by fire, by self, by her.
âWow,â she says, looking down at your drink. Whatâs worth studying about that dull glass? âYouâre a real charmer, yâknow that? Just know how to make my heart melt.âÂ
For whatever reason, thereâs no sarcasm entangled in her words. Itâs too much. You canât deal with it. But you push it anyway.
âWhat about me? You say something about me.â
Somi blinks. Smiles for the first time in minutes. âYouâre really my type, if that means anything.â
Your forehead wrinkles. âThatâs all?â
âI donât know.â Somi groans then downs another drink. This conversation makes her want to die of alcohol poisoning. Sheâs getting thereâher ditzy eyes connect with yours and you know sheâs pulling you down with her. âI talk a lot, donât I? But you never really say anything. It kind of hurts.â
You donât need the reminder. Youâre so bad at communicating that you canât even talk to your best friend. But then you look at her, and sheâs just so pretty that you think itâs understandable. Itâs understandable that you keep quiet rather than say the wrong thing, let her talk when her voice is like honey, silence your heart so that you wonât lose the sight of that pretty face.Â
Your shoulders slump. Youâre never going to figure this out. These odd feelings for her. This whole college thing, too. The jobs you canât take, the qualifications you donât meet. Youâre never gonna make it.
âSo,â she begins, like sheâs about to make a proposal. âWhatâs it gonna take for you to shut me up? Or, better yetââÂ
She lifts your chin before you could drink again. You canât drink your way out of this. The last thing sheâll let you do is scamper away, like you always do.Â
âWhatâs it gonna take to get your cock in my mouth?â
-
Apparently, as you get older, youâll finally have figured things out. People say itâll fix itself, like the shore fills despite the waves, and theyâre right: itâs all gonna be okay. You failed and succeeded. Got down and rose up again. Whatever happenedâfamily issues, financial instability, lost friendshipsâtheyâll make you stronger. Youâll be strong enough to handle what life dishes out. Having learned from all your past experiences, youâll grow older, but all the wiser.
That apparently cannot be said for the decaying asshole of a landlady whoâs playing a Taiwanese telenovela with the volume up to a hundred.
You glower at her. Thereâs the old burnout, sitting in her loveseat with frazzled graying hair and a mug that shakes as the show brings out revelation after revelation. The girlâs apparently fucking the charming boss, and her husband exercises every right to be angry. Thereâs the back-and-forth argument that you truly did not want to hear.Â
And still, you stay in torment, trying to make sense of your notes for another exam.
You could watch the telenovela from just her eyeglasses. The volume isnât the only thing upped to a hundred; the brightness had to take a dip, too. It joins the loudness to bathe the woman in a colorful illumination, making her look like the Man himself was about to drag her from the cushions and into heaven.Â
Well, she certainly didnât belong there.
It, of course, has to happen while youâre studying for your Korean exam. Thereâs a day to go before the official test and itâs going⊠great. What a good life. Really makes you want to keep on doing this shit.
The discussions youâve printed out and the doc on your screen canât be comprehended when all you hear is the wails of the voice-dubbed actress.Â
Honey! Think about me. If you donât care about me, thatâs⊠thatâs fine. But think about the baby. How do I tell her our family is broken?
Object of the verb before the verb⊠(sometimes)? Right? Right? Oh, this is torture. You could really use a coffee right now so you could slosh it all over the open electricity lines trailing from your landladyâs room. Housefires would love this place. Itâs got loser landlady, miserable Mina, shitty Sejeong, and you.Â
No, please, she says, stumbling over leaves and bushes. She reaches for the actor and turns him around. His steel gaze meets her desperate one. Itâs a collision of dramatic force nurtured by the worst talents. I love you! Please believe me, Iâit was a mistake, but I never hated you, not even onceâ
You bite your lip. Remind yourself that neo and no are, in fact, pronounced differently. Written differently, too. At least they both have the L-shaped character. Thatâs your favorite one.
âItâs over. Donât make it hurt more.â A deeper voice. The husband? You canât see him but youâre sure youâre right. After all, the boss has a rather more steady tone. Why can you recognize that, by the way? âIâm sorry. Weâre just, itâs just not right.â
You scribble down harder in your ruled notebook. Almost write a suicide note instead of a Korean sentence.Â
No, please! Donât leave me! Iâm never leaving you again, I promise, please loveâ
Your teeth grit. You slap your palms over your ears. Your hands are thick enough yet the high tantrums of the broken television couple reach you, a story you never want to hear again. Itâs gossip thatâs not even worth listening to.
âHoney!â
You donât care about the house rules. âNo slamming doorsâ your ass. You paid for this door, and youâll be damned if you arenât using it.
The thud of wood against wood almost blares out a ding from your phone.Â
Your eyes open for the first time. Open your phone for the first time, too, once you lift your back from the door.
Stare at her profile picture seated next to her messages. You canât remember the last time she sported black hair. The yellow on her is just⊠so right. Itâs the way things have always been, something immovable and unchangeable, like the sky being blue. She pulls off the look so well even with her blinding white skin, which she isnât afraid to show off in the circular avatar.Â
Somsom đđș: yoÂ
you done reviewing for the exam yet ??
Yep, itâs her.Â
Somi. She's like an Asian Rapunzelâlong golden locks pouring down her shoulders, round eyes, fashionable even in casualwear. Still a princess in her cropped uni sweater.Â
Behind fake black glasses, she puts up a peace sign, coupled with a flirty wink. Sheâs beautiful. Honestly. Sheâs got that shining smile, thick hair, and fine body that catches attention despite the modesty of her clothes. The sweater is conservative enough, right? So why are your eyes falling out of their sockets?Â
Youâre her friend; you have been for almost all the years youâve spent in universityâbut you canât deny how attractive she is.
Thatâs a secret youâll never admit, not even anonymously.
Gulp.Â
Me: I fuckin wishÂ
Somsom đđș: LMFAO, poor baby
You can picture her wicked smile from behind the screen, streets away from your rented place. You shake your head fondly. Somi loves teasing you, and you love teasing her. So, you reply.
Somsom đđș: have you tried pulling an oli london
Me: the fuck are you talking about
Somsom đđș: idk, maybe if you paid a hundred thousand to become korean, you wouldnt be suffering in hangul 101
Just my two cents
Youâd rather strip naked in front of the school than admit this, but talking to Somiâitâs a natural thing, like breathing, like blinking, like everything else. Even if you force yourself to stop, youâd go back to doing it. Sheâs always got something clever to say. You talk, she listens. Maybe flirts, but thatâs who Somi is. Sheâs young, wild, and free. Youâre kind of envious of how she doesnât restrain herself from doing what she wants, saying what she wants, getting what she wants.
Me: i donât want your two cents.
Somsom đđș: :P
What? She canât come over. Somi is a distraction. Instead of speaking wobbly Korean fragments to your language learning app, youâd be talking to her about anything. Funny things that happened in class. Weird freshman down the hall. Who knows what? Rather than keeping your eyes down on your notebook, youâd be looking at her.
Me: Im never passing this. i cant study because deafass Halmeoniâs watching her stupid show w the volume on 100
I need to go missing so I dont have to answer the test
Youll see me on the newsÂ
And b4 that
ill post a video saying you kidnapped me
Somsom đđș: jesus lol
iâll put up the missing posters o7
BUT
youâre not going missing jackass, by me or someone else
NOT ON MY WATCH.
so iâm coming over. ill be there in like fiveâŠ..?? see you later k? ;)
And oh, sheâs a lot more interesting than whatever it is youâre trying to get a hold of.
No one can keep their composure around Jeon Somi. Youâre not an exception.
Five minutes feel like a decade. If the foreign words on your laptop screen didnât make sense to you before, they still donât now. Your mindâs a flood of thoughts that relate to anything but studying. Pretty, pretty girl with a smile that could attack your heart and a body that could finish the job. What are you even thinking? Even five minutes away, sheâs a distraction already.Â
Such a distraction that you close your laptop, and inch your hand to your crotchâ
Rapid knocks that rush into ruining your door fill your ears.Â
Guilt, a clarity-inducing drug, follows after you were supposed to jerk off to your friend. Sheâs just being herself. That shouldnât elicit a lewdness in your head that twists itself into your idea of her.
Or maybe Somiâs just lewd.Â
You sigh and open the door.Â
âHey, look at that,â she says with a beam, âyou finally have a girl over!â
Trying to look bored upon seeing her gorgeous face is a one-way road to failure. Youâre always happy to see Somi, yet you groan, âGet out.â
Somi holds up two plastic cups of milk tea. You immediately give in.Â
The footfalls of her heels echo, each click reminding you that sheâs getting closer and you donât know how to react.Â
âI know I come here like everyday,â she says humbly, âbut your place is really nice.â
She observes the space you try to call your own. Cheap commissioned paintings on the wall; modest furniture that minimize cluttering; some closet that serves as your hideout in the combined living room/bedroom/dining room. Then thereâs the piles of clothes, clean and dirty, surrounding you. Thatâs all your own doing.
You sit in front of your laptop and open it. Back to work, even if sheâs here. âYou donât have to lie.â
âItâs good for a cheap apartment is what Iâm saying.â
âYeah, because I pay with my fucking sanity.â
Somi scoots beside you, thighs uncovered by shorts pushing against yours, and loops an arm around your shoulder. Her eyes scan the document youâre annotating before she clicks her tongue disapprovingly.Â
She pokes your cheek. Her warm touch makes you burn up. âYou look all the sane to me, gorgeous.â
She rips a page out of your notebook, pen in her mouth. Itâs not designed to look like a rose but she looks like a lovergirl to you. If she swung the other way, girls would already be at her doorstep. Hell, you arenât even one and your eyes cling already to the ends of her skirt.
You watch as the black fountain pen slips out from between her lips and writes the title of your lesson on the top. Why do you keep staring? She somehow makes everything look straight out of a film. Somi would be the beauty, the one whose role is deservingly main and the one theyâd post on social media talking about how she was beautiful then and she still was now. Newer generations would yearn to be alive in her prime years so theyâd bask in the moment they shouldnât even have nostalgia for.
Yeah. In your head, Somiâs lived a thousand lives. The most impossible one is the part where she loves you.
On this campus in a galaxy that made everything seem small, sheâs your friend. Thatâs both enough and too little for you. But sheâs here, and thatâs all that matters.Â
âWhat happened to âdickheadâ?â you ask. In this universe, youâre also an asshole. Sip mildly on your milk tea. You expected it, but the sweetness is over the top. You have to set it down on the counter.Â
âMy names for you change depending on my mood, so donât take whatever for granted.â She starts to copy down the reviewer. âLike, not even a âThank you Somi for the amazing milk teaâ? Right now, my name for you is, and I quote, âan ungrateful pain in the ass.â End quote.â
Conversational Korean fills the lines of your notebook. The subjects and verbs are underlined as well as the figures of speech. It doesnât look like a headache when sheâs writing it. The girl could use some penmanship coaching though.
You rest your arm on her shoulder and release a dramatic breath. âThank you Somi for the amazing milk tea.â
âWhereâs the part that goes, uh,â she begins, before clearing her throat, ââThank you Somi for being so prettyâ?â
Oh, you thank her for that a thousand times. Not once have you said it out loud. But itâs sweet, telling someone theyâre pretty. As if to thank that somehow, the world molded her into perfection, even if youâd stare just for a long while.Â
âYouâre so self-absorbed.â
âAlright,â says Somi, dropping the pen. It slams on the glass. âIf thatâs what you want. Stop me from being Mother fucking Teresa and being so kind to help you out with your school life crisis.â
âWait, youâre gonna do my stuff?âÂ
âIn exchange for mukbaps,â she offers cheerfully. She lifts her shoulders with a prudent nonchalance. âMath? Korean? Consider it done.â
She draws your laptop to herself and opens your canvas. Your missing assignment list isnât exhaustive but thereâs a reason why you canât get to it immediately. These professors disguise their homeworks as short and simple, when in reality, their questions come with three bullets that require a fucking novel for an answer. Youâre a writer but this stuff drains you.
She clicks your math task. Is Somi actually serious about this? Sheâs typing down formulas like a madman. Was she actually going to do it?
And are you⊠blushing?Â
âT-thank you.â
What else can you say? Youâd say a lot of things. But when a vacant thought enters the flowâsomething about a deeper sense of gratitude, about how youâll never have another friend like herâitâs all over. You donât want the end to come. Uni can go on in your life for ages just as long as Somi keeps coming to your place.
So thatâs all you say: thank you.
Because you can tell her anything, but at the same time, you canât.
âDonât thank me. Seriously, I never know how to respond,â she says, laughing. You wonder how she manages to change her laughs from shy and sweet, to loud and unkempt. Sheâs a versatile girl. âYouâre gonna make bank soon, too. Youâre showing up to that interview tomorrow, right?â
Thinking of it makes you a little uneasy. Sure, writingâs been on your side since forever, but what if they donât think it is? This is your only hopeâthe tall building in the flier, the smiling employees, the coaxing font. You wonât settle for any other job. It was yours, just not right now.
You trace your fingers on the back of Somiâs hand. âYeah.âÂ
She smiles. âTheyâll fall head-over-heels in love with you,â she says. A friendly(?) kiss to your knuckles is planted and bloomed. Hope she doesnât notice the tension in them that comes right after. âI know it.
Sheâs so sure about it, too. How does she have this much faith in you? You donât even believe that youâll graduate.
âSeriously⊠thank you.â
âHey, really,â Somi says again, âitâs no problem. Things can get real hard around here.âÂ
Donât you know it.
Fucking algebra starts to flood your screen while Korean occupies your papers. Staring at them, you yourself start to fill with an unnerving sense of doom. You canât run away. They said in kindergarten the sun would explode in a billion years. It seems like you've been studying for longer. Why arenât you dead yet?
Youâre not even drinking the milk tea greedily but your throat constricts, like youâve taken a medicine that would do worse than better for you. See? It even makes your eyes water and your mind spill with thoughts that prophesize inevitable, ugly failure. Youâll fail and fail like a doomed scratch project, and none of it will be worth it.Â
Somi pauses from explaining Korean grammar. Itâs cinematicâthe wind from your window brushes back her blonde locks as if they were drawn and animated, then presents a face that exudes natural beauty. Her large doe eyesâattentive, dancing with lightâand slightly open mouthâpretty little mouth, impossibly soft lipsâmake you a little crazy.Â
âYou okay?â she asks.
Swallow. âYeah. Totally.â
âSure?â
âIâm not your dad, you know,â you sigh. âYou donât have to take care of me.â
But itâs all you yearn for.Â
âOkay. I get it.â Somi rolls her eyes. âSo, as I was saying, I suggest just saying the âneoâ character like youâre moaning. Like âohhhââ
Balls of tapioca bounce from your mouth and on your keyboard. Somiâs shocked and noisy cackle bellows louder than the telenovela. You forget whatever your tears were for.
-
The tears come back a few days later. Thatâs when you remember youâve got an interview and itâs not really ideal when the realization grips you like it wants you to die. You wake up that morning in a cold sweat, and the anxietyâs backâas if it ever left.
âYou sure you got all your papers?â she asks. Thatâs Yunjin, and she probably shouldnât be here. But sheâs never played by the rules in her life. âI mean, you canât rush back and tell them you forgot something. Itâll look pretty bad on your record.â
At least you donât look bad. You rented formal attire off the local dress shop and it turned out pretty good. The jacket doesnât smell and there arenât wrinkles on your pants. Clothes, youâve come to find out, leave a great first impression. For one: Somi thought you were a huge loser when you strolled into campus wearing a black shirt and loose pants.Â
(âNo fashion sense at all,â you remember her saying as she laughed over a cup of coffee. âIt was almost pitiable.â)
Itâs funny how the borrowed suit looks better than the shoes you actually own. Thereâs flaws running on the leather as they pave the way to the building. Youâre pretty sure the soleâs a bit fucked, too. But you wouldnât give them away. Theyâre too special a pair, just like you and Somiâ
âDamn, they take offense to everything.â You return to the conversation. There you are again, going off track. Isnât that what you always do? âI canât even pass a document without some kind of divine judgment?â
Yunjin laughs humorlessly. âWelcome to the real world, kid.â
She says it like itâs something to be proud of. The real world isnât all that nice. The bills are expensive and so are the food you need and the medications prescribed to you by a doctor whoâs also fucking expensive. You donât win in this game.
âYouâre younger than me, Yunjin,â you say. âI think you should leave that talk to the grown-ups.â
She scoffs. âI know another person younger than you, and you donât complain when she talks.â
You hate how only one name comes to mind. Block it out, like you do to everything.Â
What better interpretation is there to make? You, a foreigner to vulnerability or you, being a foreigner to thinking about anyone but Somi? Yunjin gives you this funny lookâbrows curled, lips pulling to the sideâthat tells you exactly which.Â
You look away.
âLook,â Yunjin says, serious this time. âItâs gonna be alright. It might not seem like it but it will. Youâre a good fucking writer, and youâre lucky enough to have people who believe in you.â
-
And if you donât?
-
A good start: you ace the phys-ed class with your flexibility. Stretching really helps. You had to learn that the hard way.
Youâre energized enough to pick up your things and go to class without dozing off on the bathroom floor. Youâre optimistic about today. Let your positive thinking become reality: today, an actual step forward from the usual teaching. Youâre speaking it into actual life when you say there will be no shitty professors, no bad encounters, and no loaded homework.
âReligion,â says your professor, a stout man whose beard opposes his actual age, âis a complex subject. You can divide it into polytheistic, meaning the belief of many deities, and mono-, the opposite.â
Your brow curls.
You look at the screen projected onto the empty space on the wall. The bright colors that border between unreadable and eye-scorching look familiar. Grumble softly through your teeth; yep, professor Chant taught this to you a week ago. Why is he repeating a lesson?
Itâs funny how your first affirmation is transformed to mere wishful thinking. Nothing ever goes right here.
âThereâs often a debate that sparks wars, as we can see from history.â
Obviously.
âWe can trace it back to centuries ago, when the crusades still existed.â
Of course?
âNow, the rampage still goes on.â
Well, you never.Â
Psst.
Not from professor Chant, but from a soft tapping on your shoulder. You turn aroundâitâs Somi. Suddenly, your breath learns how to do a disappearing act. You swallow, but itâs still not there. Where's the wand?
Somehow, you donât hear your professor start to identify different faiths. All the faith you need is hers in you.
The look on her face tells you sheâs as tired of this shit as you are. She points to your professor then twirls her finger beside her temple. You stifle a giggle at the dizzied eyes she makes as well. Sometimes, (well, a lot of the timeâitâs happened more than youâre brave enough to fess up), Somi makes this uninteresting life at least be something worth laughing at. Itâs not even that funny yet you have to compose yourself lest youâre caught talking during class.
Her thumb jabs in the air in the direction of the door. You know exactly what she means. Itâs been days of meaningless repetition in lessons, each with little to no difference than the last. Nothingâs pointing to the possibility of things taking a turn for the better today. You might as well do what sheâs hinting at: leave with her.
Youâre still hesitant although youâd go with her to a haunted house if she asked. âCan we?â you whisper.
Somi clicks her tongue. âIf we canât,â she says, weighing her head to the side, âwould you let me go alone?â
Youâre on your feet before you even have time to think.
She has this smug look on her face that youâd love to wipe off, but itâs so attractive on her that you let it stay. âThatâs what I thought.âÂ
Without bothering to make up a false excuse or trying to be discreet, youâre out of the classroom. Itâs not your first time ditching classes anyway, and you only do those for the ones full of bullcrap. This class fits all the criteria for a shitty period that deserves abandonment.
âRemind me why I chose fucking ethics for my minor,â Somi says with a huff that inflates her cheeks. She steers you away from the clear windows of the other classrooms so that they donât catch sight of your scholarly crime. Your cheeks burn as you feel her hold on your forearm. âItâs not like I wanted to be Socrates or some shit.â
Picture Somiâs face sculpted on a stone and her words taught to thousands. What quote would they like the best: âIâd rather jump off a cliff than wear flatsâ or âFood for thought? Where do they sell that?â?
âYeah,â you say, âyou already do enough corrupting of minds.âÂ
At least it isnât raining today. The skyâs gray, but only a soft wind blows by. It almost takes Somi with it. Must be why sheâs gripping you so hard. Thatâs alright; you like her. A touch from her is exactly what you need after that hellhole.
âI get that professor Chant canât teach, but the whole point was that Socrates didnât corrupt those kids, right? He just didnât shut up.â She looks down at her watch. After duly noting youâve got plenty of time to kill, she looks back up. Her long lashes are like butterfly wings, rising and falling under her eyes as she blinks. âHe had good ideas everyone was scared of. It was like the majorityâs opinion after he made us pass those essays about it.â
âOh, really?â
âI mean, yeah.â
âI wouldnât know. I donât do essays.â
âOf course.â
Somi twiddles her pencil between her lips. Sheâs always had that kindâthe ones that are naturally full, naturally kissable. They just fit the rest of her small, beautiful face that returns the favor of beauty reciprocally with a button nose and large eyes. Itâs like her parents talked before they did the deed and said, âOkay, letâs make one thatâll grow up to be the prettiest fucking thing anybodyâll ever see.â Youâd confidently say they were successful.
That pencil tapped you on your shoulder earlier. And now, itâs touching the lipsticked brims of her mouth. Thatâs the closest connection youâll ever make with her. The knowledge is as Parnassian as itâs melancholic.
âYou wanna get breakfast?â One blink from her makes her rephrase. âOh, what am I thinking? Youâre in college; you donât eat breakfast.â
âI could use some right now. Whereâs the nearest spot?â
She hums thoughtfully as she shoves her hands into the pockets of her high-waist square pants. Even the width of the fabric canât hide how full her thighs are. âYou mind going down Dennyâs?â she offers.
You snicker. âI donât swing that way, Jeon, sorry.â
âWhat? What are you evenââ Her brows knot before releasing, the pupils below them throwing themselves to the sky. âOh, shut up.âÂ
The victim of your dad jokes from the day you met, Somiâs the perfect girl to target. It doesnât take a cleverly layered joke to get to her. She rolls her eyes so easily. But sheâs been through it enough to bear the task of taking your wrist and walking to Dennyâs.Â
You shiver at the cold wind when you welcome yourself through the doors. Maybe you should have brought a jacket. On the bright side, thereâs no storm today. Look around warilyâokay, no tornadoes around here either. Youâre still a little traumatized by that vision you had.
The restaurant is nicely clear. Only a few people are around, here to work on their computers or catch a snack after jogging. If only it were like this everyday, you would have gone here for breakfast all those years ago.
Somi pulls out her Gucci wallet and peers through the bills inside, as if she'd ever run out of cash. Her allowance goes up to thousands. There's no need for her to worry.
âIâm paying," she says finally. She jerks her head to the menu up in lights on the tilted ceiling. âWhaddya want?â
You shrug. âPancakes?â
Somi smiles, brightly and beautifully. âPancakes.â
Pancakes indeed.
A string of honey drizzles all over your breakfast. Cream on the top, too. Oh, and also some iced coffee, tailored to your wants rather than needs. This is an excessive and probably lethal amount of sugar for a college student to be consuming. For breakfast, too, at nine-whatever. But whoâs keeping note?Â
Definitely not Somi. Sheâs taking real advantage over the free syrup. Some of it gets on her lips and chin.Â
âYou're having way too much fun,â you say, your forking through your breakfast a hypocritical act. âSlow down. You eat the food, not the other way around.â
âIâll eat yours if you donât shut up.â Somi squirts (huh?) an unholy amount of chocolate all over her pancakes. Itâs like a sugar bomb exploded on her plate. âAnd probably you, too.â
That glint in her eye. Must be the sunshine refracting from the glass windows. âI wonât shut up then.â Not like anything badâll happen if you play along?
Your place in the restaurant is more secluded. Itâs near the corner, sheltered by four walls that consist of a window and some posters, which isnât a problem. Like you said, you like Somiâs company, especially when youâre alone. She can go from bright and jokeful to seriously meaningful. She plays her game on both sides, and it makes you laugh and cry.
And soon, you're talking like there's no one around. Perhaps the volume of your voices is too notched up, but you don't notice. Somi's so easy to talk to that you wonder if it would have been that way if she were any other girl. She knows when to listen, keeping silent (a feat you didn't know she was able to perform) when it isn't her dice to roll, and talks so freely.Â
You can't help smiling as she talks with crumbs on the sides of her mouth.
She's laughing when she says, âOh god, I donât wanna hear it. Spare us the pain. Like what my mom did when she said I dressed like a retired washed up supermodel in high school to first year.â
âYou say that like itâs a bad thing.â
âI mean, it was.â Somi digs the prongs of her utensil into the pancakeâs whipped cream heart and drives them through. âSenior year sours everything up.â
âI would've loved to be classmates with you back then.â
âHah.â She makes a smug little sound. âI was an angry hormonal bitch, you wouldnât want to meet me.â
âEh. I could have handled you. Anything that happened before second year doesnât count anyway.â
In the future, youâll say that anything that happened before you were employed doesnât count. Then itâll move on to how the events before a certain age aren't judged, and so on. Life continues its run, its criterias and ideals change.Â
Surprisingly, you're still chasing after it.
âFair. Everyoneâs angry and miserable in HS.â
Painfully accurate. âWe all have those little realizations later in life. Youth makes us angry at nothing.â
She snorts on her hot chocolate. âYou know, you have a better shot at being Socrates than me,â Somi says. âAll that shit about food eating me. Like who the hell comes up with that?â
âSocrates?â
âReally funny.â
âHey, who said âfood for thouâââ
âIâll show you food for thought, fucker!âÂ
Before Somi could pump a blastful of strawberry syrup into your hair, a soft cough makes itself clear just in your vicinity. Both of your heads turn.
Professor Jung. Statement vest and square pants, itâs impossible to mistake him for any other man. Heâs always been asthmatic, so that phlegm-filled cough is a trademark for him, something you associate with the old man.
âYou have a mouth on you, miss Jeon,â he says bluntly. He offers her a subtly reprimanding expression.
Shit, youâve just been caught cutting classes. What do you do now? Thereâs the evidence all out on the table to pick apart on: the food, the time on Somiâs watch, the conversation. Look around and see that the place has no bathroom to hide in, or a back window to jump out of.
"Hi, professor Jung," you mutter.
âNot to be rude or anything,â Somi tells him, âbut what are you doing here?â
Trust her to always be honest with an air of feistiness. You purse your lips to muffle your groan.
âI could ask you the same thing," Jung replies pointedly.
You could hear a pin drop in the wordless silence in the booth. Itâs like time froze here and went on everywhere else.Â
âDarn it.â Somi throws her gaze up to the ceiling. âFine, weâre cutting. And you?â
"Teachers eat breakfast, too."
"Oh." She contemplates this. "Really?"
You whisper her name sharply, admonishing her: Somi, shut up, But she gives you her classic, disarming glare and twists her hand into a fist. Itâs basically SSL (Somi Sign Language) for: Suck my dick and balls.
Your professor looks on, mildly⊠entertained? He chews on the inside of his cheek. âNormally, Iâd cast a blind eye on absences.â He lifts his cup full of steaming black coffee to his lips, and somehow takes it in without wincing. âI was your age once, you know. But I need to talk to you.â
Now his eyes are directed at you. Yes, you, the only other guy in the conversation. His firm stare seals and locks on your face that there's no doubt whatsoever that heâs not referring to anyone else. The question is: why? Somiâs cutting, tooâwhy do you have to take one for the team?
Swallow a chunk of honeyed pancakes. âYes, professor?â
âIs it alright that I discuss this with you privately?â
Your nerves are getting the best of you. Maybe you shouldn't have ignored his message last night. What could he possibly be here for that's so urgent?
-
âSeventy percent, Jeon. Seventy percent.â
âIâm gonna make up for it!â
âMake up for it? Somi, thereâs no going back from that! Iâm failing!â
âPlease?â
âNo. No mukbaps for you.â
âCome on! Itâs not rocket science,â she says, bundling herself over a book she âborrowedâ from the library. She reads the textâall those symbols, large numbers, and complex formulasâand sighs. âBut itâs not exactly ABCs either.â
Itâs not necessarily up to you to try and make it easier for her to fix her mistake. Youâve got your own problems in a sack, and this one she made herself. But when she has those blonde brows creased together in frustration and a timer to keep herself accountable, you wish you were smarter. Tougher. Wiser. If you were, you would have figured a lot of things out before everything even happened.
But youâre not. You never have been. So, you say, âSomething in the middle?âÂ
"Huh.â Somi pauses. She gives you a look. âIs it?"
"I guess so."
You sip on your own cup, then wipe the smear of brown it left on your upper lip. You had coffee at Dennyâs but another cup wouldnât hurt you. At least, not unless youâre seventy-five with a heart disease or something. (Ah, see here, with the way your back hurts if you twist just a little, you could qualify as a senior. Gotta collect those discounts.)
Anyway, the setting is this: itâs only afternoon, but you wouldnât have guessed with the rain. Youâre at your place, as you always are, with a visitor who welcomes herself at any time of the day. That visitor is Somi, and she has your spare key for herself. Although sheâs not exactly unwelcome, you do get tired of her ransacking your fridge at times. But thatâs just youâyour usual, pessimistic self.Â
And sheâs⊠just Somi. Canât be just Somiâanother student among othersâwith a face like that. With all that beauty and wit going on for her, you donât get why she isnât hanging out with those sorority girls. Youâre certain theyâd be more than happy to welcome her. Sheâs better off practicing some witch rituals with them than studying with you.Â
Actually, there's plenty of things she could do rather than be here. She could drop school to be a model since sheâs got the height and face for it. She could audition to be an idol, just like the ones you see on television, and make a bigger name for herself.
And yet she stays.
You'll never be able to solve that mystery. It'll become a cold case in your drawer, one that'll haunt you forever because although your fridge tires of being raided, you like having her over.
"Can I say something to you?" asks Somi. She shuts the book and smiles at you tightly. You can see the irritability lining her lips. Oh, whatever for? What did you do to deserve that?
You'll bite. Carefully. "Yeah."
"Ugh. That's what I'm saying, what Iâm about to anyway. Itâs⊠I swear to god, you and your useless answers.â She slaps a hand on your table. âIt's a rhetorical question, you prick. You aren't supposed to say something."
As careful as you were, you end up saying the wrong thing. Somiâs eyes roll up to the ceiling and she lets out the biggest sigh youâve ever heard. Goddamn it, another fuck up. You never know what to say to her.
âApparently,â you start, huffing out a breath that collects itself in a cold dust in the air, âIâm not supposed to say anything.â
Slap the pencil youâve been toying with on the kitchen table. Fuck this.
You hop off the stool and start to occupy yourself with collecting your dirty laundry from the floor. One article of clothing equals one of the many burdens off your back. Youâve been stalling bringing them to the laundry shop for ages, and now itâs biting you back in the ass. Hey, thatâs always how it turns out: you keep something for another day, and when that day comes you call bullshit and not do anything. Old habits die hardâyouâre still the same bum you were in senior high.
Somi smirks as she twirls the Mongol youâve abandoned with a shake of her head. âAnd itâd be a lot better that way, trust me.â
Sheâs right. If speaking to Somi were a course, youâd be failing it. You either come off as trying too hard or aggressive. Itâs already a blessing by itself that you can even attempt to respond properly.Â
Here you go again.
âYou can either go fuck yourself, Jeon,â you throw a t-shirt at her that has coffee stains from weeks ago, âor you help me clean our house. You already fucked up my assignment.â
Sheâs surprisingly swift in grabbing it. Perhaps sheâs realized that she has nothing better to do for she starts to clean up, too. Piles and piles of clothes disappear from the floor and into transparent laundry bags. Each gets filled to the zippersâthatâs how long youâve been winging it.
For the first time in weeks, your floorâs beginning to lose its mess. Save for the dust thatâs accumulated in the corners, itâs relatively clean. As you and Somi pick up your clothes and paper bags, you come to your usual realization.. You see how easy it is to just clean up but still wonât learn from it. Youâre a psychicâyou can already see that this routine of avoiding your responsibilities will repeat itself in the future, until you learn and unlearn it again.
âOur house?â Somi folds a pair of denim jeans and slips it into a Ziploc. âIf I remember correctly, I donât even live here.â
You start to laugh loudly. What an absurd thing to take away from your remark. âYou might as well be with how often you break and enter.â
âAnd Iâm so glad you like my company.â
Well, itâs not like you initiate it. Youâve been friends with Somi since last year, and even from the beginning she was the one who made the plans, volunteered to be study buddies, all that shit about getting together. Your friendship grew and soon you made plansâÂ
Oh.
So it wasnât as one-sided as you thought.
You canât bite back another commentary. âI should call the cops on you right now. Iâll file a restraining order and you wonât ever see me or my house again.â
You moron. Whatâs wrong with you? You always end up saying the wrong things, a guise for what hides beneath all that fake confidence you have up for you. Itâs whatâs gotten you into fights and arguments before, some severe. One might think that with a tongue like yours you would have figured out a solution. Nope, theyâd think wrong.
âPlease,â she says, smiling at you once more but with a tinge of sass on it now. Somi never lets anything get to her. In fact, she mirrors back whatever you say with a stronger refraction. âWe both know you canât go a day without me.â
Youâd tell her sheâs flattering herself. Youâd say that she thinks of her position in your mind too highly, but you canât bring yourself to even mutter it. The syllables form in the corners of your mouth but they already feel wrong from the get-go. Itâs like the mere act of replying would be lying or something.
Youâve lied to Somi a hundred times before. You said you couldnât stomach your ice cream though you just wanted her to have it because you saw her staring at it. You said you did your homework and teased her about it when she said she didnât. You said she was an asshole after she drew on your face while you slept on the sofa.
But saying that you could go a day without her was something you didnât have the heart to do.Â
Well, what if it isnât a lie?
It melts in your mouth. Nope, you arenât going to say anything stupid. You already have enough stupid falsehoods said and done.
âDidnât I get this for you?â she asks, breaking your reverie and lifting up a hoodie.Â
You study it. It looks familiar so she must have. Observe the statement sublimation-printed on it: âBEST DADDY EVER.â It's gotta be weird morally, ethically, whatever category it falls under. But somehow, you grin when you see it. Not weird at all to you.Â
You look away, pretending to be very interested in the flowerpot by your window. "Yeah."Â
"It's on the ground,â Somi says, deep in her thoughts, âwith all the stuff you wear.â A simper fights its way on her mouth.Â
"Uh huh."
âItâs with the laundry.â
âWhat are you getting at here?â
"So⊠that means you used it." Her cheeky Cheshire smile grows wider.
Reel back a few months, to the first Christmas you and Somi spent together. You were unwrapping your gifts from under the small tree of evergreen and red ribbons, and came to discover that she gave you that:Â
A hoodie, with the kind of print that doesn't fade so everyone knows loud and clear, till the day you move on to the unknown realm, that you're someone's best father.
But itâs how it has double meanings that makes you crack up. Â
"I'm not wearing this," you muttered, hardly containing your laughs. "What the fuck is this?"
Somi threw her head back and let out the most improper laugh ever. It bounced off the walls and echoed in your ears. "You like it!" she replied, bringing her hands together in satisfaction. âCome on, look me in the eyes and tell me you hate it.â
You jutted the hoodie out in front of you and looked at it in disbelief. It was an abominationâthe color was a disgusting shade of red, the kind that tapered on the line between merry Christmas and murder, with a skeleton-like character on a motorbike below the words that declared you the best dad in the world. From the seams to the print, it was ridiculous, and you couldnât stop laughing.
You scratched your head as if doing so would stop your healthy guffaws. "Somi. Somi, I'm serious, I'm not going out with this."
And yet here you are now, caught with the evidence of having worn it.Â
"I had *nothing else to put on that day," you defend yourself.
*(You had plenty. You had just ordered a bunch of shirts from the local store and pants so that the school dress code would allow you reprieve from the weather that switched constantly between numbingly cold and the kind of sunny that burned your scalp.)
Somi nods mockingly, and packs the hoodie away. She knows your truth, but she'll let you have this one.
âYou know,â she says thoughtfully, slumping on the floor with her back to the feet of your table, âI donât really get what all this is for anymore.â
You're leaning against the cheap painted walls of your home. Sweat beads the sides of your faces and bags of clothes surround you. You look like a couple who just moved into a new home. Oh, what a fantasy. Not that youâd like it to actually happen. You swear with all the pinkies in the world that itâs just a stray, intrusive thought.Â
She chews on her bottom lip, the one thatâs so much more glossed than the other that youâre not totally dismissing the idea you could use it as a mirror. You arenât observing your reflection when you look at it, however. Why? Oh, just another cold case, and youâre the worst detective.
Suddenly, the fantasy twists itself into your heart and squeezes.
Oftentimes people are afraid of their thoughts, of themselves. Thatâs the reason why they lash out and say things they donât mean. So youâre saying another line that comes off more aggressively than you think. Youâre always like this around her: a sarcastic, stuttering, alliterate mess.Â
âWhich one? You breaking into my house at midnight âcause your fan broke or⊠oh, you know, everything else?â
Well, itâs not like it isnât true, despite the statement only being uttered since you got nothing else to say.
Maybe thatâs why you and Somi are friendsâher old habits take a lot of time before disappearing, too. One of hers is entering your house with no warning, not even a text that asks as politely as it could: hey, can i come over? or perhaps even crashing at yours 2nite,, just to let you know. Nope, none of thatâwhat Jeon Somi does is fiddle with your doorknob like a scheming thief and let herself in like she owns the place.
And it always, always scares the shit out of you.
âI mean this school thing.â Somi twitches her mouth to the side as she looks at you. âIt's like there's nothing going on anymore."
"Tell me about it."
"I came here thinking I'd finally have my life together," she declares. Head shaking, she smiles. "I didn't think I'd be just⊠older. Not stronger or wiser or tougher. Just old as shit."
"Yeah, well, I didn't think I'd have a brat who breaks in everyday."
"Youâre not giving up on that, huh? You gave me a key, babe. Canât keep a cow and not milk it.â
âThatâs the worst way to say it. You havenât even been on a farm.â
âPiss off,â she snarls, punching you in the gut. âGo fuck yourself in the ass or something. Whatever.â
She says all those thingsâthings that basically tell you to fuck off, sodomize yourself, whatever you do, she doesnât fucking careâbut sheâs smiling. Smirking? That tiny gesture has you confused again, like all the other times wherein you have no idea if sheâs shitting you or not.
Itâs what keeps you on the edge of your seat. Somi has that thrill about her thatâs so entrancing that itâs only right that youâre dragged along. The roadâs rocky, but the wind is amazing on your bruised heels.
âI would, but we have class, remember?â Point to the clock on the wall that tells you that thereâs precisely twenty minutes until your next awful hour in a cramped classroom.
"Oh, alright, so you like it in there?"
"Nothing wrong with it, but not denying or confirming anything."
"There you go again." Somi glances at the time's thin hands, recognizes the schedule they foretell, then groans. She always expresses herself dramatically, so her eyes turn themselves north and her jaw drops to the floor exaggeratedly. âOh, please, for the love of all thatâs good, donât tell me that itâsââ
ââKim Chungha,â you finish, regretfully. You donât like showing up to her classes either. Sheâs so uptight, so full of herself that her lectures turn into a grand narration of everything sheâs achieved. You didnât pay a tuition of thousands for that. You could eavesdrop on that for free whenever a TedTalk speaker goes to your mall.
Somi shares your hate wholeheartedly. Although the hour of the class isnât too near by any means, sheâs already hating it. Sheâs already living in what would be a hellish moment and deprecating herself for ever thinking to enroll in it.
You groan sullenly. Somi sighs instead.
âSometimes, I like to think about if she came out of the womb talking about how successful she is.â Your friend pinches her nose and leans into your shoulder. ââSomething something the tight womb molded me into the conceited fuck that I am today.ââ
âYou forgot the part about how we havenât suffered enough.â
âOh, of course.â Somi plays with the ends of your shirt. ââYou kids got into this college because your parents paid for it. I had to go work for it and get paid.ââ
âOf course she did. Tuition was like three dinosaur bones back then and a flame from her neighbor Prometheus.â
She busts out laughing. âSheâs not that old!â
Sheâs right. Chungha isnât old in any way. In fact, sheâs a young prodigy for a professor, considering sheâs training to be one. Sheâs only a mere couple years your senior, too.
âWell, she doesnât fucking act like it!â you say defensively, but youâre laughing. You and Somi love to make fun of her and the rest of your teachers. âSheâs like that kid who got spanked when she was a kid and talked about it like she was in the military or something.â
âExactly. All that because she studied in America, what a fucking bitch.â
âA bitch whoâs gonna torture us if we donât pass that essay later.â You get to your feet. âWe gotta get going.â You make a finger gun at her and wink. âDibs on the shower.â
âAsshole.âÂ
And just like that, you ram into the shelves. A bag of clothes rolls off one of them. You grab it before it ends up on the floor. Despite it all, you still have your spidey senses.
-
You didn't get the job.
It should've been obvious that you wouldn't. You're a college student. Your best bet was an intern position or a position lower than that. But seeing the rejection printed finely, cruelly on the paper slipped in your mail still stings. You reread it to check if it really was for you (as if anybody else in this godforsaken campus applied) and your name is still there.
We've written to inform you that you' failed again. They might as well just type that. Their paragraphs of formality and sickening professionalism won't lighten the blow.
You shake your head and blink away your tears. You won't let this dampen your day. Today will be better, mark your words.Â
You hope your optimism wonât be shattered. Things are going on well. Youâve paid Doyeon, the smartest girl in your class, to tutor you. Sheâs kind enough to give you a session for a student-friendly price, but when she starts to teach the math, you find that you donât want fuckshit to do with it. Youâre already regretting paying her with what you could have used to spend on a meal.
Because see, thereâs Doyeon, beautiful and gentle, with her pencil top against her temple, asking: âDo you understand?âÂ
And then thereâs you, a big fucking liar: âYep. Easy peasy.â
Alright. Maybe that went bad, but you wonât let one bad moment ruin the rest of your day. You still have more than sixteen hours to make the most of it. Letâs hope you wonât screw it up.
As you walk to your next class, you find that your head doesnât stop spinning. Thatâs what math does to you. Again, itâs supposed to be stupidly easyâyou mean, how difficult can counting be? But when those mathematicians added letters into it your whole word fell apart. Nothingâs been right ever since you were in middle school.
âDude,â and there goes Somi, bouncing down the hallway and bumping into your arm. A beat. âHey, you okay?â
You blink. Your cheek feels damp and Somi, for all her beauty, looks blurry. You donât realize youâre crying.
Pathetic. You're fucking pathetic.
Open your mouth to deny the tears. She doesnât let you. She wraps her arms around you and just⊠holds you. Doesnât even say anything. For the first time, Jeon Somi doesnât say something crass or out of lineâdoesnât even giggle when you snort a little too loudly.Â
Itâs in these little, tender moments that youâre reminded sheâs your friend. And she loves you.
When she lets go, your throat feels tight. âSomi, Iââ
âShhh.â She presses a finger to your lips. âIâm not gonna ask. You know whatâs gonna help you out?â
âWhat?â
âDrinks. On me.â
-
Somi always dresses like she's going to walk a fashion show. She doesn't dare show up with an outfit that doesn't reveal or at least show her curves.
That pretty much explains why she's dressed the way she is: a short, apricot crop top that could pass for a sports bra wraps around her impeccable bust while her long legs peek not all too shyly from the ends of a denim miniskirt.
You watch her try to keep the hem of her skirt right where they should be, but they steal your eyes to what shouldn't be revealed anywayâthose full yet slim thighs pressed against each other making you jealous of the little space that gets to be squeezed between them.Â
But as always, youâre pretentious. âYou do know itâs raining, right?â you say.
âAnd?â Somi cocks a brow. She smooths the top down her tummy, and you canât look anywhere else. When the eye sins, you have to pluck it out, but you canât. You want to keep sinning. âItâs not like a stormâs gonna stop me from being hot.â
You hate how sheâs right. Through thick and thin, rain or shine, Somi remains the most gorgeous girl you know. Sheâs always pulled together, not one speck out of place. She walks with a strut a runway model would be jealous of. Itâs not your fault that you lust after her when sheâs⊠like that. Or maybe thatâs another lieâmaybe you donât really want her.
And yet another.
Click your tongue. âOkay.âÂ
Lift your bag. Stop in your tracks. You still have more to say.
Look at her. Look at the slopes of her curvaceous body, the smile in her lined eyes, the way the crop top shows too much but just right. Did she catch you?Â
Not even you with your artificial nonchalance and indifference can deny thatâ
âYou look good today.â
She smiles. âYouâre not so bad yourself.â
-
So this is what happens: you drive, because (1) Somi canât be bothered to, and (2) she canât drive for shit. The last time you let her handle your car, she almost put you on the news. Oh, and (3) the bar is a little far from your college; you arenât really planning to hike your way there.
Apparently, itâs a bad day for a lot of people here, too. A drunkard murmurs at the bar about how he loved her until she left him for someone better, and you could hear crying coming from the bathroom. Strangely fascinating how everyoneâs here for different reasons, but for the same idea: some sort of relief.Â
âIâm very sorry about the way IâŠ. you know, cried.â You make the first conversation starter. Itâs an awkward topic, but you suppose she wonât have a problem with it. Somiâs your friend, isnât she?Â
âNothing to apologize for,â she says. Her eyes are lined with some sort of bright color that makes them look more enchanting. Makes the tears more apparent. âIâve been breaking down too. Just in different ways.â
You wonder whatâs beneath all that. All that blonde hair, flirty long lashes, the attitude. It only occurs to you now that youâve never seen Somi cry. Maybe mockingly, when she doesnât want to do her graphics, or for theater. But never in the raw sense of the word.
Sheâs stronger than one would think, you realize. Jeon Somi, more soldier than princess, though she doesnât look the part. Perhaps her sword is the lipgloss ever present in her purse, the shield the smile she puts on everyday no matter the conflict. She deserves a lot more credit than what sheâs given.
âWhat do you want?â
You canât stop staring at the fake star tattoo on her chest. âYou. Y-you can choose. Itâs your money, not mine.â
You canât tell if itâs the red, beaming lights or your imagination. You swear you saw her smirk. Quickly avert your gaze.Â
You donât know how to go about these feelings for Somi. Are they romantic? Platonic? Whatever? You wonât deny that sheâs pretty. Just look at her, gorgeous legs crossed on the stool, eyes magnetic. Itâs a fact, forever undeniable, kind of like common sense at this point.
Yet thereâs this: youâve been friends for so long. Youâd hate to ruin that.Â
âA martini, please.â Somi looks at you rather than the bartender, a glimmer in her eye as she adds, âExtra dirty.â
Okay, well-
You donât speak for a while. Itâs awkward, really, trying to divert the moment after you were pretty sure she had eyefucked you. Somi doesnât seem to mind. Sheâs staring at her reflection in a nearby bottle, reapplying her lipstick. It makes her mouth look plumper. Poutier, too. You decide to discard that thought and train your eyes on something else.Â
But itâs hard not to look at Somi. Youâre sure every heterosexual man in this bar/club/crying lounge is staring at her. Hell, even a few girls. But it somehow makes your heart squeeze a little more when you remember you are the one she brought out to have drinks. Youâre the only one in this lonely place she considers a friend.
âSo,â she says. âWeâve both been going through shit, huh.â
Just in time for the martinis to arrive. You laugh roughly, quickly drinking one up. âThatâs one way to put it.â
"To surviving another week of academia," she raises her shot glass, a glint of defiance in her eyes. âAnd to us, for being the tough fucking shits that we are.â
You clink your glass against hers, the sharp crack almost lulling through the music. The martini burns a fiery path down your throat. You wince; yeah, you need some of that beer later. Martiniâs never been your forte, but hey, it does the job. Your shoulders have already lost their tension. And Somiâs paying anyway. Beggars canât be choosers.
âSeriously, I thought professor Jung was going to kill me,â you sigh, leaning back against the cool metal of the stool. âMaybe one of these days.â
âDonât go yet. Iâll miss you too much.â
âThanks for the sympathy. For that, I wonât write you off in my will.â
âGood boy.â
You gulp. Take another long sip of the martini. She knows exactly what sheâs doing. You know her intentions too. Nobody just goes to a bar and wears an outfit like that for nothing. So why is it only you whoâs shivering with anxiety?
She turns to you, her expression softening. For a few precious moments, her eyes look less striking. Theyâre more concerned, glazing over you slowly. "You look like you need more than just a drink, though. You look⊠hollowed out."
âDonât I know it.â
âHey, Iâm just saying. We need to find a way to de-stress before we both lose our fucking minds and we die before graduation.â
The corner of your mouth twitches upwards. âOne vice at a time, Somi. One vice at a time.â
She giggles. âThatâs what I like about you.â Her golden hair tosses as she shakes her head and sheâs back to nursing her drink. âYouâre funny. Hot. Yeah, youâre weird sometimes, letâs be fucking honest. But youâre my bestest friend in the world.â
Your chest warms up. Itâs probably the nicest thing anyoneâs told you all week. And it was said to you in a noise-polluted bar, after crying your heart out, and by Somi.
You used to dream of meaning this much to somebody. All your life, youâve felt discarded. The floater friend. It worsened when you enrolled in college. What they donât tell you about this time in your life is that itâs a dog-eat-dog world. You survive or you donât.
And now youâve got your bestest friend in the world, telling you that youâre her friend, too. You mean something to her. Youâre the only guy sheâd take out to a bar like this and spend thousands on.Â
âWell⊠say something about me.â Somi suddenly stops drumming her fingertips on the counter and brings them to yours. The contact burns. Itâs the tiniest arson ever committed.
Hey, youâre in a bar. Itâs not supposed to be anything personal. You ought to drink and dance and hope you get tipsy enough to forget about everything. But youâre here, forced to cope with a dilemma of feelings, and the fact that beyond her loudness, she still cares about you.Â
It goes deeper than personal.
âIââ How do you say this? Hope this easy smile gets you out of trouble. Or in trouble, whichever is best. âI think youâre the hottest girl Iâve ever met. Kind of⊠a little wild, too. I like that, you know.â
Somi smiles, slowly and painfully. Itâs killing you in a thousand different waysâby knife, by fire, by self, by her.
âWow,â she says, looking down at your drink. Whatâs worth studying about that dull glass? âYouâre a real charmer, yâknow that? Just know how to make my heart melt.âÂ
For whatever reason, thereâs no sarcasm entangled in her words. Itâs too much. You canât deal with it. But you push it anyway.
âWhat about me? You say something about me.â
Somi blinks. Smiles for the first time in minutes. âYouâre really my type, if that means anything.â
Your forehead wrinkles. âThatâs all?â
âI donât know.â Somi groans then downs another drink. This conversation makes her want to die of alcohol poisoning. Sheâs getting thereâher ditzy eyes connect with yours and you know sheâs pulling you down with her. âI talk a lot, donât I? But you never really say anything. It kind of hurts.â
You donât need the reminder. Youâre so bad at communicating that you canât even talk to your best friend. But then you look at her, and sheâs just so pretty that you think itâs understandable. Itâs understandable that you keep quiet rather than say the wrong thing, let her talk when her voice is like honey, silence your heart so that you wonât lose the sight of that pretty face.Â
Your shoulders slump. Youâre never going to figure this out. These odd feelings for her. This whole college thing, too. The jobs you canât take, the qualifications you donât meet. Youâre never gonna make it.
âSo,â she begins, like sheâs about to make a proposal. âWhatâs it gonna take for you to shut me up? Or, better yetââÂ
She lifts your chin before you could drink again. You canât drink your way out of this. The last thing sheâll let you do is scamper away, like you always do.Â
âWhatâs it gonna take to get your cock in my mouth?â
You shiver.
A warmth spreads through your veins. Itâs not entirely from the alcohol. You make that conclusion as you watch her tongue dart out, moistening her bottom lip. The air around you seems to thicken.Â
Her knee brushes lightly against yours. The contact is electric already. Nobodyâs made you feel this way before. No, not before Somi. Her gaze drops, lingering on your lap for a beat too long before flicking back to your eyes.
Your breath hitches. The audacity of this girl, you swear. âSomiâŠâ
âNot a lot then, huh?â
Somiâs hand continues its slow, teasing ascent. Her fingertips now brush against the sensitive fabric of your jeans. You feel the unmistakable hardening beneath her touch and honest to god groan.
âGood,â she whispers, a triumphant smirk playing on her lips. âI knew you'd like that.â
Her nimble fingers find the zipper of your jeans. A wave of heat washes over you.
âAre you sure?â Your voice is a ragged whisper.
She doesn't answer with words. Instead, she slowly, painstakingly, pulls down your zipper. You flinch at the sound of the metal zipping against each other. Somewhere in those eyes you find a challenge. I dare you, Somi says, to tell me to stop right now. Tell me you donât want me to blow you in a public place and make myself look like your cumslut. Itâs your choice, you know. All up to you.
You donât say anything.
Her fingers brush against the warm cotton of your boxers. You feel them wrap hard on the head of your cock. Somi starts stroking you slowly.Â
âSo big,â she murmurs. You feel the rush of blood, the immediate hardening, your cock springing free from the constrains of your pants.
You close your eyes for a moment. This cannot be happening. Jeon Somi, your impossibly hot best friend cannot be jerking you off. Maybe this is all a dream. Yet when you open them, her very real gorgeous face is still there.
A hot wet warmth suddenly wraps the head of your cock. Her mouth works its magic. You grip your seat. You try to think about other things despite the obvious distraction in your lap. How warm the bar suddenly is. How nobody seems to care sheâs throating you. How Somi, you come to find out, is a woman who lives by a method. First, her tongue dances along your base. Then itâs gone only to return with renewed vigor. She has her hands on your thighs, pushing you down her throat and letting your cock slap on the flat of her tongue.
You let out a shaky breath as the pleasure intensifies. Somehow, the place becomes nonexistent. Thereâs no setting to this story. The bar is gone and so is the shitty music and the dancers. Thereâs no plot either. All it dissolves down to is the climax: the suction of Somiâs plump lips on your dick and the sight of her tits bouncing as she takes you.
âFuck. Somi, Iâm gonna-â
Seemingly determined, she takes it all. Her intense gaze never leaves you. Even as she deepthroats you, she seems to be smiling wickedly. Almost as if she planned this for the entirety of the day.Â
She lets her tongue flick and itâs finally over.
You honestly black out for a few minutes. Itâs hard to process it all. Just a few hours earlier you were crying about another essay and the cruelty of your professor. Now, youâre spilling your cum down Somiâs throat. And youâre watching her take it all, happily sucking the sanity out of you. Her hands are an oxymoron at this point, placed on your thighs to keep you from shaking so much yet her touch is too electric to make you stop. Thatâs just what Somi is: a walking contradiction. Too pretty to be tough but sheâs stronger than you are. Too girlish to even pick up a tissue from a sidewalk but she got on her knees in this seedy bar for you.Â
âSee?â Somi says, sounding very triumphant. âDidnât take much.â
-
The Uber ride back to Somiâs apartment is a blur of streetlights. The moon doesnât even look real. The warmth from the drinks and the kissing makes everything feel softer, closer. Her head rests on your shoulder, her fingers tracing idle patterns on your thigh.Â
You donât resist it. Youâre both pleasantly buzzed. Tonight, youâll forget about your shitty college and your overflowing canvas. Itâs all about you and her.
âMy place is a fucking mess,â she laughs. âDonât judge me, daddy, will you?â Somi catches on to the tension in your body and smirks. Oh, sheâs got you all figured out, from the inside and out. "Oh yeah, I'm calling you daddy."
"Shut up." You roll your eyes, embarrassed.Â
Somi smiles, eyes disappearing. "Make me, daddy."
The word hangs in the air like a question. Itâs new, this game. Itâs probably dangerous and holds a lot of repercussions you wonât be able to handle sober. But you find yourself following her inside, the door clicking shut to seal you both in the dim, cozy chaos of her living room.Â
Itâs not even that much of a mess. Or maybe the obvious old, lived-in wealth distracts you from the numerous shopping bags and parcels. Somi tries to kick off her heels but stumbles. You catch her by the waist. She flinches in surprise. Her abdomen is firm beneath your touch, soft in all the right places.
âYou know what?â
Somi smiles. âWhat?â
You hold her closer. For the first time in this little, little life, youâre confident to say: âI think Iâve got it all figured out now.â
But she knows what youâre talking about. Her smirk is so proud, so full of itself that it makes Jeon Somi more attractive than she is.Â
âI want you,â you confess. âI tried denying it, but Iâve always wanted you.â It wasnât included in your initial script but it slips out anyway, boldly: âFrom the moment I saw you.â
âYeah. I have to be honest first though.â She skates her hand under the curve of her chin before placing it gently on your wrist. âI donât know how it happens, but when I look at you, I canât think straight. You make my brain haywire, if you know what I mean. My thoughts⊠just donât make sense.â
Perfectly aligned, the stars and your thoughts with hers. A spyglass canât spot a singular difference. âSame here, blondie.â
âWell?â
âWell.â Youâre leaning forward as well, because thereâs something you want to do before the sun rises and beats you up again. âWe ought to do something about that, right?â
âOh, trust me. know a lot of things we can do.â
Thatâs all it takes. The kiss isnât gentle by any means. Nothing like the playful pecks you shared at the bar. Come to think of it, they arenât like the sloppy makeout sessions you shared once the drinks got the better of you. This one is hungry and deep. The way she shoves her tongue in your throat reads like sheâs been waiting to do this for years, probably even before you thought of doing this to her. Her lipgloss tastes sweeter than sugar.
Somi doesnât complain about her designer skirt being torn. You donât complain that this is your last good pair of decent clothes for another three days. Nothing about the outside world mattersâno responsibilities, no consequences. Youâre completely consumed by Somiâs lips and how she feels as you bracket your bodies together.
Before you know it, youâre in her bedroom. Itâs even larger than the living room, walls painted bright pink and the bedclothes made of the softest fabric. The vanity table in the corner looks like itâs worth a year of your tuition. Lights bedazzle its mirror and an expensive figurine sits in front of it. Jesus, what does her father do for a living? Does he know his daughter calls you daddy too?
Her lips are swollen. You kiss them one last time before you undo her bra. The soft, full curves of her breasts spring out immediately. Her nipples are hard under your hot mouth and tongue. Lord knows how long youâve thought about doing this. Her tits are heaven on earth.
âYes,â Somi hisses. âTheyâre all yours, Daddy.â
You give her a sharp, open-handed slap to the side of her breastânot hard enough to hurt, but enough to make her gasp and the flesh bloom a beautiful pink. She moans, her head falling back. You do it again to the other side, the sound sharp in the quiet room. You lavish the stinging, reddening skin with desperate licks and sucks.
You wouldnât dare put a finger on her if you were sober. You know that well. But the idea that she wants you to do anything you want to her is making your brain lose its logic. Youâre operating like a broken machine on flimsy code.Â
Thatâs exactly why Somi smiles when she kneels again. âRemember when we talked about Socrates?â
You roll your eyes. âWhy are you bringing him up now?â
Tipsy Somi is still Somi after all. Her breasts rise and rest as she breathes, slick from your mouthâs worshipful rituals.Â
âWhen you told me I was corrupting minds,â she says, blinking up at you deceptively, âdid I corrupt yours, too?â
Turns out she doesnât need you to answer. First contact: her soft tits squeezing around you. It extracts a groan from the depths of your throat. âSomi.â
âWhat's wrong?â
Nothing is. Not when she feels amazing wrapped tight around your shaft. The friction is incredible. It rides up from your base up to your swollen tip, then repeats in its overwhelming cycle. Youâre already so close to the edge.
You can almost feel her heartbeat as she takes a deep breath in. Her deep cleavage welcomes you once more. You donât know which is more explicit: the sounds of her flesh accommodating you and her soft pants, or the sight of it. Each low plunge ignites heat from the pit of your stomach. You can see light sweat form on her skin. Sheâs working so hard for it, so hard to make you cum.
It just might work.Â
God, everything about Somi is so erotic. Itâs like for one night, she conjured herself to be a fantasy only for you. No one at the bar could experience this no matter how much they stared at her. Theyâre not the ones who can see her nails dig into her own chest as she works you, or her biting her lip to cope with the labor. All they see is the perfect, dolled up Jeon Somi, the gorgeous woman at the bar who looks too out of their league to approach.Â
Meanwhile, this is what youâre privy to:
Somi jerking you even harder, her nipples tight and her hair tossed to the side.
Somi asking you if you like it, although she knows very well that you do. How can anyone not like this? Only an insane man would deny it.
Somi looking like a doll although sheâd look more a sex doll if you consider how she pressed her boobs together tighter. The pressure grows like a waiting tsunami.
You crash.Â
With a final, deep stroke and a stifled moan from her own lips, you cum all over her. Itâs messyâit gets all over her collarbone, the lines on her throat, her chin. This doesnât stop her movements from becoming more urgent. The embrace of her tits feels more like a choke now that sheâs determined to drain every single drop from you.Â
After the last spurts come out, she gives you a teasing lick on your tip. She looks down at her skin covered with cum and gasps.Â
âLook at the mess you made,â she says. âWonât you clean it up for me, daddy?â
-
Somiâs bathroom, as it turns out, looks straight out of a suite. Youâre sure she had maids clean this regularly, with how the tub shone and not a tile on the walls were chipped. It smells like strawberries when you stepped inside. The porcelain is cool under your feet.
âCollege was just a getaway vacation for you, huh?â
Somi shrugs. âPretty much,â she says. She doesnât bother to deny it. She only joins in on your âIâm brokeâ jokes to make you less lonely. This was her reality. âCouldâve gone to some Ivy League un, but at least I met you, right?â
You reach past her to turn the knob. Thereâs a clunk, a hiss, and then the water crashes down. You watch how the droplets slip into the curves and arches of her toned back, down her perfect ass. Of course, sheâs ever the movie star: Somi arches into it, eyes closed.
You move into the warm spray with her. She turns to face you.Â
Her face looks prettier without the makeup. As the foundation washes away along with each slicked contour, her bare face comes to view. In the steam, Somi looks like a goddess who made an apparition. No, actually. Her eyes are larger without the heavy lashes and her mouth soft without the lipliner.Â
âYeah,â you agree. Youâre still stunned. âI have that going on for me.â
You lift her easily. She giggles, wrapping her legs around your waist without a word. All part of Jeon Somiâs masterplan, and youâre checking off each step.
The water hammers down on your joined bodies, background noise as you thrust in her. Both of you gasp. Sheâs so tight it knocks your breath out. Youâre forced to rely on anchoring her weight on the wall, as featherlight as she is.
âJesus, Somi. You feel so fucking good.â
Sheâs all slick and tight around you. Her overwhelming wetness lets you know how hard she was working for this. Somi is speechless as you start moving. You donât bother for any buildup. Itâs rare to see her so pliant, so willing. The sensation of being filled up was too good for her to run her mouth.Â
You did say you were going to shut her up.
Her mouth hangs the whole time. Her doe eyes are large with want. Each time you enter her, her insides cinch tighter around you. You already came twice tonight; you want to hold out a little longer and make her feel good.
You place your other hand at the back of her head to dull the thrusts. Those gym classes were worth it after all. You have no problem hoisting her up with one hand and searching for the angle thatâd make her shake.Â
It takes a few different approaches, all with your mouth smothering her chest and neck, before her eyes fly open in shock. You smirk. Somi squeezes your shoulders tighter. From there, the moans you revel in seem to amplify.Â
âGod, yes,â she gasps, the blasphemy melting into steam next to your ear. She buries her face in your neck. âDonâ stopâŠâ
A sudden rush of adrenaline runs through you, like youâve downed caffeine instead of alcohol. Every sense is wide awake. You set a wild rhythm that you donât think even you can keep up with. But each dip into Somiâs tight, weeping cunt makes it worth the effort. The lust melts into the steam of the shower, wrapping your endless moans and grunts into a hot bubble.
Her nails needle into your back like the spray from the shower. Somiâs moans border into shouts. You see the exact moment she cums. All of her being tenses up except her thighs, which stay at your hips, keeping you locked inside her. Each thud and stroke leads up to this very moment.
Honey drips down her legs. Somi whimpers while she cums around you. Itâs sticky sweet. The water washes away both of your releases into the drain. You clutch onto one another for life. It might not be hyperbole either; the two of you are spent.
For a long moment, you just stay like that. You hold her up despite the weakness in your legs. You massage her hair through the shampoo. You wonder if this was the right thing to do. Thereâs still the possibility that youâll regret it in the morning, when the alcohol and daze are gone. This was just a way to get it out of your systems.
âWow,â says Somi, voice hoarse. âI knew you deserved that Best Daddy hoodie.â
She kisses you again, softer this time. You realize immediately itâll be fine. While youâre young, you have a lot of time left to worry.
A/N: This is part 2. Have a good read. I'll be taking a short break after this to recharge, see you in two weeks!
âSo, what are we doing today?â Minju asks as she snuggles against you in bed, tracing her fingers along your chest.
âMmm⊠I was thinking of bringing you out to the aquarium today, but I only found out last night that it's closed today for maintenance,â you mumble with a yawn.
âEhhh~ I wanted to see the dolphins and penguins though,â Minju pouts and sits up.
âIâm sorrââ
âYa, it's not even your fault that the aquariumâs closed. If anything, it's because of yesterdayâs event.â She says while poking your cheek with her finger. âItâs not like it's the end of the world, honey. I don't have any work to do, so we can just spend time together. You know, we have the entireee dayâŠâ
You push your limbs out and stretch them as far as you can, pulling another long loud yawn from your throat. âEntire day to do what? You wanna go to the grocery store? Or maybe you wanna go watch a movie? There's that new romance filmââ
âI don't know, I was thinking something more on the lines ofâŠâ her voice softens, âyou fucking me senseless the entire day. You know, fuck me until my pussyâs so sore that I can't walk anymore.â
â...â
You stare at her.
â...â
She stares back at you.
âUhâŠâ you blurt.
âHoneyâŠâ Minju murmurs while peeling off her pajama pants, chucking them to the side and slowly parting her legs. âLook, Iâm already so wet for you.â
âW-where are your panties?â you choke, looking at her bare, glistening pussy.
âNever wore them since we came back last night.â She bites her lip, watching your reaction with that familiar mix of mischief and need. "So⊠are you gonna make good on that promise from Friday night?" she whispers, climbing over to straddle you, shifting her hips so her wetness brushes against your growing hardness.
You swallow hard. "The entire day?"
Her smile turns greedy. "Every single minute of it. And we're starting now.â Minju fumbles with your pajamas and pulls your pants down in a single go. You're already hard and throbbing. Minju bites her lower lip, eyes locked on yours, and slowly rolls her hips forward so the slick heat of her pussy drags along your length, teasing and coating you with her wetness, making you twitch beneath her.
âFuck, honeyâŠâ she breathes, her voice thick with want. âItâs only been a day without your cock in me, and Iâve been thinking about this the entire yesterday. About sitting on your cock and riding you until we both forget what day it is.â
She doesnât wait for permission. She lifts her hips and grips your cock at the base with a firm, familiar squeeze, sinking down in one long, smooth glide. The moist heat of her pussy envelops you instantly â wet, tight, and quivering around every inch of your hardness as she takes you to the hilt. A sharp, shuddering gasp tears from her throat the moment her ass meets your thighs, and her walls clench hard greedily, like her body has been starving for this all week when it's only been a day.
âFuckââ she hisses, tipping her head back and long dark hair spills behind her shoulder. âGod, honey⊠you feel so thick inside me againâŠâ
She starts moving almost immediately. No slow build, no teasing rolls. Just hungry, desperate bounces. âYou're so fucking tight,â you grunt as her thighs flex, ass lifting and dropping in quick, wet slaps that echo through the quiet room. Each downward plunge drives you deeper, and each upward lift is filled with resistance as her pussy refuses to let you go. Her pussy swallows you whole as your cock continuously disappears into her tight cunt with slick dripping down your shaft and coating your balls.
âI can't believe I gave up this fat cock for work,â she gasps as her tits bounce wildly with every motion. Her perfectly sized breasts are heavy and full, the gems on them stiff and flushed dark pink, begging to be touched. âFuck Minju, your tits, theyâre so perfect,â you groan when she slams back down on you, admiring her soft breasts as they jiggle up and down in a hypnotic rhythm. They sway side to side, slapping softly against her chest when she drops harder. The sight alone makes your cock twitch inside her, earning a broken moan from deep in her throat.
âLook at them,â she pants, cupping her own breasts, rubbing them up and down, squeezing them until the soft flesh spills between her fingers. âWatch how they bounce for you⊠fuckâwatch me ride you like thisââ
âFuck you're so deep inside of meââ she cries, leaning forward slightly, bracing her hands on your chest, nails digging into your flesh as leverage. The angle changes slightly, but the effect is entirely different. Your cock now drags against her front wall on every upstroke, hitting that spot that makes her eyes roll back. âFuck Minju, your pussy walls, they're rubbing onto my cock so well,â you groan and grab on to her hips, assisting her as she bounces. Her sanity visibly unravels and her moans turn into whimpers, then into high, needy cries. Her hips stutter and its rhythm falters as pleasure overloads her.
âI canâtâfuckâI canât stopââ she sobs, riding faster and harder, chasing her high desperately. âItâs too goodâyour cock is too goodâoh godââ Her rhythm becomes frantic as her ass slaps against your thighs with wet, filthy claps, and her tits bounce so violently they nearly slap against each other. Sweat beads and drips between them, glistening as her nipples drag across your chest when she leans down to kiss you desperately, tongue tangling with yours as she grinds deeper.
âYou gonna cum for me? Make your needy pussy cum all over my cock?â you growl as she loses it completely. Her moans transcend into gasps and her thighs tremble uncontrollably, pussy clenching and releasing in erratic pulses. âIâmâfuckâIâm gonna cumâgonna cum on your cockâdonât stopâdonât you dare stopââ
She shatters. Her whole body locks up mid-bounce, back arching sharply, mouth falling open in a silent scream. Her pussy clamps down on you in violent spasms, milking you in rhythmic waves, fresh slick gushing around you and soaking your groin, dripping down your balls onto the sheets. Her tits heave with every ragged breath, nipples trembling; a thin sheen of sweat glistens across her chest and throat.
She rides through it anyway, chasing the never ending pleasure, shuddering, whimpering, refusing to stop until the aftershocks fade, hips still rolling in slow, greedy circles.
Then, without pulling off, she twirls around with herself still impaled on you, pussy never breaking contact.
Her back is facing you now, full ass presented supple and round, cheeks jiggling as she settles and starts bouncing again.
âFuck, Minju, you're crazyââ
She shuts you up with a stronger slam, crying moans of pleasure in response. âI don't know what's wrong with me honeyâI need your cock so badâkeep fucking me pleaseââ The view is insane. Her pussy stretches wide around your cock, glistening as her lips grip you every time she lifts. Her tits hang forward, swinging heavily with each drop, swaying like pendulums.
âGrab my ass,â she begs. âKnead itâsqueeze itâfuck, mark it upââ
You obey instantly. Both hands slap and clamp onto her supple, plump cheeks, and gosh they are so soft and warm, yielding under your fingers. You knead her hard like raised dough, spreading her wider, thumbs digging into the flesh as she slams down again and again. The slap of her ass against your hips is loud, each impact sending ripples through her skin.
âYesâyesâlike thatââ she cries, bouncing faster, pussy squelching with every plunge. âFuckâyour hands feel so goodâsqueeze harderâgod Iâm gonna cum againââ
âGod fuck Minju, you're so needy, so hot and tight, fuck I missed this slutty version of you,â you growl, thrusting your hips up into her to meet her crashes. You're both fucking each other so hard that the bed shakes with each impact, the legs screeching around the ground from every tremor. âYou're clenching me so hardâFuck, are you going to be my good girl and cum for me again? Cum all over my big, hard cock that you can't get enough of?â
She collapses forward and props her hands on the mattress, using it as support to continue fucking onto you despite her weakening slams from her increasing sensitivity and loss of composure. âYes yes yesâfuckâso goodâso so deepâfeels so good Iâm fucking fuck cumââ
She shrieks and cums even harder this time. Her whole body locks up, ass clenching under your palms, pussy convulsing so violently you almost lose it right there. She screams your name, hips grinding down frantically , milking you through wave after wave until sheâs trembling, boneless, collapsing forward onto her elbows. Her tits press into the mattress, nipples dragging as she rides the last tremors.
Youâre right there too, balls tight, cock throbbing, so close you can feel the first pulse building in your base.
But she stops. Abruptly. She lifts off you with a wet pop, leaving you slick and aching, tip glistening with her release.
âNot yet,â she pants, eyelids fluttering from the orgasm. She crawls forward on all fours shakily, then turns to face you, eyes dark and glassy. âI want it in my ass. I want you to take itâright now.â
She presses her stomach flat onto the mattress as much as she can and spreads her knees wide, lifting her ass up high. Reaching back, she spreads herself with both hands, exposing her tight pink rim.
âPlease,â she whispers with a trembling voice. âPlease fuck your cum into my ass. Fill my ass up so full until it's all leaking outâŠâ
You move without thinking, stuffing a pillow under her for support before kneeling behind her, hands spreading her cheeks wide. You lean in, pressing your tongue flat against her rim and start eating. You slurp and lap her pink hole, dipping your tongue in until she's moaning into the pillow. The way sheâs trembling as you slather your saliva all over her hole sends you crazy, and you flick your tongue harder, chasing the delectable taste of her ass.
Sheâs shaking, whimpering and begging from your oral assault, pushing and stuffing her bread back into your mouth, demanding more from you. âHoney fuck, you're eating me so well. Gosh fuck we should have done this sooner,â she cries and whines into the pillow.
You gather saliva in your mouth and spit it right at her hole, diving and stuffing your head back in. With your free hand, you rub small circles around her swollen clit, making sure she's in your total submission.
Your tongue darts in and out of her rim constantly, prodding and poking as far as you can reach into her ass. âFuck Minju, Iâm trying to loosen you up for anal sex but you're clenching tighter and tighter.â She can't even reply to you as you rub her clit harder, slurping her ass faster.
Suddenly, a gush of warm liquid sprays out of her pussy, soaking your hands and the sheets below. Minju is cumming again. Sheâs just silently shaking and spraying her juices out like a shower head as you eat and rub her ass and clit without pause, until her lower body collapses onto the pillow. The entire bed is drenched and soaked, the wet sheets clinging to the mattress.
She pants and heaves, breathing hard. âDonât stopâpleaseâput it inââ
Your cock is swollen and aching to burst, and you drag her hips up once more, tip nudging her slick, spit-smeared entrance. You press forward slowly until the head pops past the ring with a low, guttural grunt from you both.
âFuckâtightââ you groan, feeling her clench around the tip like a vise.
She sobs into the pillow. âMoreâgive me moreââ
You grab on to your cock and push furtherâ
Her phone explodes on the nightstand.
The ringtone is sharp and piercing, the one she set for her boss and key clients.
She freezes.
You freeze.
The ring keeps going on relentlessly.
âPay it no mindâŠâ she says, âFocus on me. Fuck my ass please.â
âY-you sure?â
âShut up and fuck me pleaseâŠâ Minju begs.
You disregard the ringing and push further in, spreading her ass wide open. You're about two inches in now, and it's proving extremely difficult to go further.
âFuck Minju, yourâre so goddamn tiââ
Her phone rings again.
Minjuâs breath hitches and she glances at the screen, eyes widening in panic and disappointment.
âI⊠I have toââ
She reaches for it, hand trembling.
You pull back immediately, sitting on your heels, cock still throbbing, tip slick and aching.
She answers on the fourth ring, voice shifting to crisp professionalism even as her ass is still lifted, pussy dripping onto the sheets.
âYes, sir? Whatâs happening?â
You watch her face crumple, brows furrowing, lips pressing thin. âTruffle contamination⊠yes, the entire batch⊠no, they canât wait until Monday⊠okay, Iâll be there in thirty. Iâm leaving now.â
She hangs up. Eyes already wet with guilt.
âIâm so sorry,â she whispers, scrambling to sit up, pulling the sheet around herself. âItâs the new product launch. There's an issue with one of the key raw materials needed. You know, the truffle oil? If we donât fix it before tomorrowâs reviewââ
She doesnât finish.
You nod, throat tight. âGo. Itâs okay.â
âItâs not okay.â Her voice cracks. âYou haven't cummed at all⊠I'm so sorryâŠâ She looks at your throbbing hard cock, reaching forward to grab it. âMaybe I can suck you off until you cum then go?â
You hold on to her hand and shake your head. âI'm alright, go.â
She looks at you apologetically, before leaning forward to kiss you hard. âTomorrow. Tomorrow weâll finish this. I promise.â
You force a small smile.
She washes up and dresses in record time, slipping on yesterdayâs skirt, a fresh blouse and ties her hair back.
âI love you,â she says.
âI love you too.â
She sprints out of the room and the main door closes.
Silence crashes in.
You sit on the edge of the bed, cock still hard, throbbing painfully. You wrap your hand around it, giving it slow strokes trying to chase the edge she left you on. The memory of her bouncing, tits jiggling, ass clenching under your palms, her begging for your cock in her ass. It's all still vivid, still burning.
But the disappointment is heavier than the arousal. Your mind replays her face turns into guilt and panic when the phone rang, the way she shifted from âfuck my assâ to âI have to goâ in seconds.
Your strokes slow down and your cock softens in your hand.
You stop.
You stare at the ajar door. You stand and walk to the bathroom, turning on the shower. The ice cold water hits your skin like needles, but it doesnât wash away the ache. You lean your forehead against the tile, eyes closed, and let the water run until your fingers shrivel and your breathing steadies.
Tomorrow.
You tell yourself it will be different.
You tell yourself sheâll keep the promise.
You tell yourself the work-life balance she barely got back isnât already slipping through her fingers again.
You tell yourself a lot of things.
But deep down, in the quiet part of your chest that remembers every "tomorrow" that never came before, you know.
Tomorrow.
The word tastes bitter now.
***
The rest of Sunday passes in a strange, suspended quiet. You spend it alone in the apartment, cleaning up the soaked sheets, making coffee that you donât finish, staring at the empty side of the bed where Minju should be curled against you. The cold shower earlier helped nothing, the ache lingering in your chest more than your groin. You check your phone every half-hour, half-expecting a text saying âIâm coming home early after all.â Nothing comes.
She messages once in late afternoon:
<Min Min â€ïž, 3.17 p.m.> Still fixing things. Might be late. Iâm sorry. Love you. Tomorrow weâll make up for today. Promise.
You reply: Love you too. Be safe.
You donât add the question mark thatâs already forming in your mind.
By the time she's back home, it's already close to midnight. You feel her tap onto your shoulders, rousing you awake on the couch in the living room where you slipped into dreamland while waiting for her the whole day.
âHey honey, I'm sorry for being so late⊠things were worse than I thought but everything's settled now,â she mumbles apologetically, eyes sunk from the exhaustion of the day. âYou want to have sex right now? Iâll make it up toââ
âMinju, did you eat anything at all the entire day?â You cut her off, voice filled with genuine concern.
âI-I did, honey,â she replies, âSex?â
âMinju.â You stand up and face her, grabbing on to her soft hands. âIt's alright. I'm okay, you're tired, so get some rest for tomorrow.â
âBesides, I jerked off after you left,â you lie with a straight face.
Pulling her in for a soft kiss on her trembling lips, you gently guide her into the room. âGo shower up, Iâll wait for you in bed.â
She looks at you with sadness and thankfulness mixed in a perfect ratio of 50:50, before turning to walk to the bathroom.
âMonday eveningâ
Minju comes home at 7:18 p.m. She's still on time, still trying. She drops her bag, kicks off her heels, and crosses the living room to you on the couch without a word. Her kiss is immediate, hungry, hands already tugging at your shirt as she straddles your lap.
âI missed you,â she murmurs against your mouth, grinding down until she feels you harden beneath her. âAll day I kept thinking about yesterday⊠about how we almostâŠâ
No panties again. âI took them off in officeâŠâ she says. She's already wet, her juices coating your fingers when you slide them under her skirt. She moans softly into your neck, rocking against your hand.
âFuck me,â she whispers. âRight here. Make me forget work.â
You push her skirt up, pull your pants down just far enough, and she sinks onto you with a long, relieved sigh. She rides you fast, desperate, and needy, her tits bouncing under her blouse, nipples visible through the thin fabric. Her moans are quieter than yesterday, more restrained, but still filled with guilt and want.
âCum inside me,â she pants, nails digging into your shoulders. âFill me upâpleaseââ
Pent up from the disappointment yesterday, your orgasm approaches fast and you cum hard and deep, groaning into her neck as you spill. She clenches around you, cumming with a soft cry.
Afterward she stays on your lap, forehead against yours, breathing hard.
âTomorrow,â she says quietly. âTomorrow I'll leave it in the other room. No phone. Just us.â
You kiss her. âTomorrow.â
She goes to shower. You hear the water start.
You sit there, still inside your pants, feeling the warmth of her on your skin, and you tell yourself it's still okay.
Tuesday she comes home at 7:22 p.m. She tries, kissing you deeply in the hallway, hands sliding under your shirt, but her phone buzzes in her pocket. She ignores the first, but the second makes her tense.
âFive minutes,â she promises, stepping into the study.
Itâs twenty-five.
When she returns, sheâs apologetic, kisses you again and drops to her knees. Her mouth is warm and eager, her tongue swirling round your tip and cheeks hollowing with every bob. She takes you in, gagging softly, eyes watering as she looks up at you.
âCum in my throat,â she murmurs around your cock. âLet me taste you.â
She bobs as fast as she can, almost as if sheâs trying to rush it. Again. Youâre so desperate for her love that you shatter unbelievably quick, cumming fast and hard, spilling down her throat while she swallows greedily. She pulls off with a wet pop, licks her lips, smiles tiredly.
You stroke her hair and mumble. âMinju⊠do you ever think about kids?â
She tenses slightly, but you feel it.
âOf course I do,â she whispers after a long pause. âI want them. With you. I picture it sometimes⊠little feet running around, weekends at the aquarium, teaching them how to make dumplings.â
Her voice softens and it's wistful, almost sad. âBut⊠not now. I'm too busy. The launch is make-or-break. If I step back even a little, everything could fall apart. Maybe after the next quarter. Or the one after that. Tomorrow we'll be in a better place for it⊠I promise.â
She kisses your collarbone, like she's trying to seal the promise with her lips.
Wednesday morning she wakes you with soft kisses down your stomach, tongue flicking your tip, trying to recreate Sundayâs tease. But her phone buzzes on the nightstand. She pauses, checks it, sighs.
âWork,â she murmurs. âIâll finish tonight. Promise.â
Tonight she comes home at 9:35 p.m., late for the first time since the week off. Sheâs exhausted and her eyes are red-rimmed, voice hoarse. She tries to initiate on the couch, straddling you, grinding slowly, but midway through undressing her, she yawns.
âIâm sorry,â she whispers, burying her face in your neck. âIâm so tired⊠tomorrow?â
You hug her tight. âTomorrow.â
Thursday there is no attempt. She comes home at 10.44 p.m., collapses beside you on the couch, head in your lap.
âIâm sorry,â she murmurs. âTomorrow Iâll be better. I promise.â
Friday she comes home at 7:05 p.m., on time, but she falls asleep on the couch mid-conversation, phone still in her hand. You carry her to bed, tuck her in, and lie awake beside her, staring at the ceiling.
No sex.
No morning touches.
Just the soft glow under the study door each night, the quiet click of keys, and the growing space between you that no amount of âtomorrowsâ can close.
To ease her burden â perhaps to stay close even if only from across a crowded room â you volunteer as staff for the subsequent weekend events. The team lead is grateful as theyâre short-handed, and your familiarity with the venues makes you useful. You tell yourself itâs to lighten her load. Really, itâs fear. Fear that if youâre not there, the drift will become permanent.
The second event is a tad bit smaller. Same rooftop, fewer suits, more casual chatter. You arrive early in your staff polo, badge clipped, running through setup: table placements, sound checks, making sure the promo banners for the dumpling line donât tip in the breeze. Kim Minju is still in charge, navy blazer and trousers, hair in a low ponytail, wading through the crowd smoothly like she always does. She catches your eye and offers a small, tired smile that carries the ghost of the week away. You nod back, heart squeezing.
But Park Minju is there too.
Sheâs in pink again with the same soft cropped top, short skirt and high pigtails tied with ribbons, arms full of promo bags. She doesnât approach at first. She just watches you by the side, glancing at you with slightly longer gazes across tables, over shoulders, beside the bar. When your eyes meet, she smiles innocently, but her gaze lingers on your face, as though she sees the sadness you canât quite hide, like she's measuring the distance between you and your wife. You look away, heart kicking in a way that feels wrong.
She brushes past you later, handing out flyers, her arm grazing yours deliberately. âLong night?â she asks softly, voice light but eyes searching.
You nod. âLong week,â you mutter politely.
She smiles again and walks away in the same playful manner as last week, pigtails swaying, hips moving just enough to draw your eye.
No. You can't. You force your gaze back to Kim Minju across the room who's still working, still tired, still yours.
But the sadness is starting to show. Your colleagues ask if youâre okay and you smile, saying youâre just tired. But when you look towards your wife, the ache leaks through, impossible to mask.
At home that night, Kim Minju falls asleep on the couch mid-conversation again. You carry her to bed, tuck her in, and lie awake beside her, staring at the ceiling.
Tomorrow sheâll come home early.
Tomorrow youâll talk about it.
Tomorrow the weekends will stay ours.
But tomorrow feels further away than it did a week ago.
And somewhere in the quiet, the word starts to sound like a question.
***
The third weekend event arrives faster than you expect, but the weight of the past week has already settled deep in your bones.
Minju's busyness hasn't slowed. If anything, it accelerated through the days since the second Saturday event. She leaves earlier each morning, comes home later each night, her promises of âtomorrowâ growing quieter, more automatic, like a script she's reciting to keep herself going. You watch her rush out the door with coffee in one hand and phone in the other, hear the soft click of the lock behind her, and feel the apartment expand around you. You've stopped expecting her to keep the full-day promise from Sunday. You've resigned yourself to it, the way you resign yourself to winter coming after autumn. It's not a surprise anymore, just a fact. She'll stay busy. She always does. And you'll keep waiting, because what else is there to do?
You volunteer as staff again this weekend. The team lead is grateful; theyâre perpetually short-handed and occupied â just like your wife â and your familiarity with the venues makes you indispensable. You tell yourself it's to lighten her load, to be useful in the only way left to you. Really, it's to feel less like a stranger in her life, to be near her even if it's only across a crowded room, even if she barely has any time now to even glance your way.
The rooftop is busier tonight with more sponsors, more photographers, and more pressure on Kim Minju to smile perfectly and shake every hand. You arrive early in your staff polo, running through the usual checklist again.
Today Kim Minju is everywhere at once, and once again, she's here and there and everywhere, and she's so busy that she doesn't even look at you or even spare you a glance.
Your heart squeezes tight. Yesterday she came home at 11:44 p.m. and collapsed right on the couch without showering. Just the soft glow of her phone screen lighting her face. You're heartbroken, worried that her body will give up. But you're also heartbroken from her choice of work over you.
You constantly ask yourself the same questions: Why does your wife keep choosing work? Was money not enough? Is it for a better life? Were you not ambitious enough?
You can't put your head around the choices she makes. Sure, you aren't earning as much as her who's one of the most important figures in her workplace, but you're still drawing a sizable salary of 100 million won annually. Combined with her salary, you're both considered in the upper percentile of society in terms of financial standards. You can't think of a plausible reason.
Park Minju is there too, in the same outfit like the last two weeks. She doesn't approach you immediately, like the last two weeks. She just watches, giving long glances like the last two weeks, giving small smiles when your eyes meet across the crowd like the last two weeks. At one point she brushes past you while handing out flyers, her arm grazing yours deliberately again. Just like the last two weeks. Why are you even paying attention to how Park Minju is acting?
âBusy night?â she asks softly, but her eyes search your face like she already knows the answer. You mutter something polite and turn away, trying to stop any further development with her.
The event drags on. Minju works the room until the last guest leaves, and you stay late, handling the cleanup, stacking chairs, coiling cables, gathering stray programs. Your face must show it; a colleague claps your shoulder. âYou okay? You've been quiet.â
You force a smile and say the same thing again. âJust tired.â
When the venue empties, youâre near the exit gathering the last of the promo materials when you feel her before you see her.
It's a light touch on your elbow.
You turn.
Park Minju stands there in the dimmed lighting, hair a little mussed from the night. In her hand is a tall glass of orange juice over ice. She holds it out without speaking.
You take it. Beneath the glass, tucked against the base, is her name card. Matte black base, gold lettering. Park Minju. Junior Manager, Product Development.
On the reverse, in neat, slanted handwriting:
Text me when tomorrow feels too far away â Dumpling â€ïž
She watches your face as you read it. There's no smirk. No teasing arch of her brow. Just still and steady eyes that look as weary as yours feel. But they feel warmer and hungrier, like sheâs already decided to step into the space your wife is leaving empty.
Then she leans in until her breath warms your ear. âTomorrowâs Sunday,â she murmurs. âAnd Iâm free all day.â
She doesnât wait for your reply and just tiptoes to press the lightest kiss to the corner of your mouth before turning and walking towards the elevators with that calm, measured stride, pigtails swaying as she leaves.
You stand there holding the drink and the card, condensation cool against your palm, chest loosening for the first time in weeks. But it's not from relief, it feels sharper and dangerous. Your guilt spikes immediately, and it feels hot and nauseating.
You snap your head to the left and right, trying to search for your wife, but you donât see her. Then you spot her. Minju is in a quiet corner of the venue, thanking the last vendor, right before they leave. She hasn't seen any of this. She glances your way from across the room as the venue empties, offering a small, weary smile before turning back to finish up her work.
You steady yourself and down the entire glass of orange juice to calm yourself, but your heart doesn't stop thumping.
The party is over. The venue is emptying. But something small and uninvited has just cracked open under your ribs.
You should throw it away, but the next thing you know, you slip the card into your wallet and stuff it into your pants, the weight of it suddenly heavier than the glass, and head for the exit with the question burning behind your ribs:
What happens when tomorrow finally arrives, and it's not the tomorrow you and your wife promised each other?
The drive home is silent. The city lights blur past the window. Minju is already asleep when you get in â she must have left earlier and slipped into bed without waiting. You wash up and slide in beside her carefully, not wanting to wake her. She shifts, murmurs something soft in her sleep and curls toward you.
You stare at the ceiling.
The card is still in your wallet.
You don't take it out.
Not yet.
***
It's Thursday night and youâre alone again. Minju texted around 8 p.m.
<Min Min â€ïž, 8.24 p.m.> Still at the office. There's another issue this time. Packaging quality defects. Home late. Love you. Tomorrow we'll talk.
You reply: Love you too. Be safe.
You sit on the couch, phone in hand, staring at the card on the coffee table. You took it out earlier, turned it over, read the handwriting again. Dumpling â€ïž. The card is slightly crumpled now. You lost count of how many times you pulled it out of the wallet over the past few days, twirling and flipping the card back and forth, reading the words over and over again. The little heart looks innocent. The words feel like an invitation.
You tell yourself you're not going to text.
You tell yourself you're going to wait for Minju.
You tell yourself tomorrow she'll be home early, like she promised.
But the apartment is quiet. Too quiet. Maybe youâll just have a quick chat.
You pick up the card.
Your thumb hovers over your phone screen.
One message. Just to see what she says. Just to know someone is thinking about you tonight.
You type nothing.
You set the card down.
You go to bed alone.
Sleep doesn't come easily.
Friday morning arrives without her. You wake to an empty bed, the sun rays sifting through the curtains, gracing the side where she should be cool and untouched. There's a note on the pillow: Had to go in early. The issue still hasn't been solved. Be back home tonight. Love you. Tomorrow we'll make it right.
You stare at the note gaze burning into it. Tomorrow. The same tomorrow she promised for kids, for weekends, for everything.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.
The word tastes like bittergourd juice now.
You spend the day alone, eating breakfast alone, working without any updates from Minju despite you texting her, staring at the card that nests in your wallet. You don't text her. You don't text Dumpling.
You crush the card and throw it in the bin.
You volunteer for the next event again. The team lead is grateful. You tell yourself again that it's to help Minju.
But your heart tells you again that it's to feel less alone.
***
A month has passed since she took the week off and the fifth event today is the largest yet, happening over two days. It's the first day today â Friday, you took leave from work just to help out â and there are twice as many people, and an exponential increase in pressure. Minju is stretched thin, snapping at disorganised staff out of frustration, then apologizing immediately in guilt.
Park Minju is everywhere for everyone. Everyone except for you.
She doesn't approach you until the last guests leave, after cleanup starts. Youâre near the storage room sweeping up bits of food samples that dropped onto the floor when Dumpling approaches you.
She holds her hand out and you take the thing from her without even looking at it. She smiles sultrily(?) at you before turning to leave.
You look at your hands. In it is another name card. The same matte black base, the same gold lettering. The same words are etched on the card: Park Minju. Junior Manager, Product Development.
On the reverse, is the same neat, slanted handwriting that youâve seen many times over the countless times you twirl and flip the card which you crushed and threw away. But this time, the words are different:
Iâm free tomorrow night after the event. Storage room. â Dumpling â€ïž
You should crush the card again. But you don't. You keep it in your wallet again and go home , sleeping on your bed with your wife beside you. You try to sleep, but the only thing in your mind is Park Minjuâs words.
The morning arrives and you've barely slept. It's the second day of the event, and you've both been busy the entire day. Night time finally comes and the crowd surges instead of thinning, and Minju is still in the venue somewhere, thanking vendors, reviewing notes.
The event night passes in a blur, and everything is mostly tidied and cleared up. Minju came to you about twenty minutes ago, kissing you on the cheek saying: âIâll head home first. I have to get back here tomorrow to prepare for Mondayâs workstuff. See you at home.â You nod and hug her back.
She hasn't seen the card in your wallet. She hasn't seen your interactions with Park Minju.
But she also hasn't kept her promises of tomorrow. She hasn't chosen you over work. And she doesn't know the lonely void in your heart.
11.48 p.m. Itâs almost midnight, and the place is tidied and empty. Everyone has already left.
You pull out the card in your wallet, staring at the neat, slanted handwriting again.
The storage room door is ajar.
You gulp and look up into the night sky, look down at the ring on your finger. Just a chat, you tell yourself. You move towards the storage room.
Park Minju is inside, waiting.
The door closes behind you.
The room is dim, lit only by a single overhead bulb. Boxes of promo materials line the walls, and the air smells of cardboard and her perfume. Park Minju is sitting on a messy table.
Her eyes light up as she sees you entering the room.
âYou came,â she says softly.
You don't answer.
She hops off the table with easy grace and steps closer, close enough that you can feel the warmth radiating off her, smell the faint trace of her perfume wrapping around you.
âI saw you tonight,â she murmurs, tilting her head so one pigtail falls forward. âRunning around in that polo, helping everyone⊠helping her. Always helping her. Always waiting for her to notice youâre there.â
She takes another step. Close enough now that her breath brushes your collar.
âBut she didnât, did she?â Her voice softens. âShe kissed your cheek, said âsee you at home,â and left you here. Again. Like every other night. Like youâre just⊠part of the background.â
The words land like quiet punches. You flinch a little, but she sees it.
She reaches out and points at you, fingertip grazing the front of your polo, right over your heart. You feel it kick under her touch.
âIâve been watching you for weeks,â she whispers. âEvery event. Every time she smiles at you across the room and then turns back to the next sponsor, the next call, the next crisis. Every time your face falls a little more. Every time you look lonelier.â
Her finger trails up, brushing your jaw, and her thumb rests lightly against your lower lip. âYouâre starving,â she says. âNot just for sex. For someone to see you. To want you. To stay.â
She leans in, lips hovering a breath from yours.
âI see you.â
Her thumb presses insistently on your lips, parting your mouth just enough.
âI want you.â
She presses her lips on yours, kissing you with slow, exploratory movements of her tongue, slipping past your lips like sheâs tasting the guilt, the loneliness, the ache. You donât pull away.
âIâll stay for you,â she whispers as she breaks the kiss. âTell me to stop. Tell me youâre going home to her. Tell me youâre going to wait for tomorrow that never comes.â
You donât.
She smiles against your mouth. âThen let me give you tomorrow tonight.â
She drops to her knees.
The concrete floor is cold beneath her, but she doesnât flinch. Her eyes stay locked on yours the entire time, staring at you, peering straight into your soul. Your palms sweat at her advances, but you stay rooted to the ground. Her cheeks raise slightly as she looks at you with a dark smirk, her small hands reaching for your belt.
She unbuckles it slowly, taking her time, letting the metal clinks echo throughout the quiet storage room. She pulls out the unbuckled belt, coiling and gently putting it to the side.
She presses her nose right against the bulge in your boxers and inhales deeply, eyes fluttering closed like sheâs savoring wine. âAhhh⊠you smell like⊠loneliness,â she purrs, before pinching the zipper with her fingers, pulling it down in a slow, teasing drag.
Your bulged boxers protrude out of the unzipped pants where the zipper parts, where a dark spot already formed. She sticks her palm onto you, giving it a soft rub, making you twitch. âOh⊠you feel like⊠neglectâ
Her fingers hook onto the hem of your pants and boxers, and she yanks them down in one sharp tug. Your cock springs free at the sudden exposure, hard and heavy, slapping against her small face with a loud, piercing slap.
She gasps with delight from the impact, then giggling with anticipation, flushed cheek pressing against your throbbing shaft. You shiver at the contact â the heat of her skin, the softness of her face, the way her breath ghosts over you⊠itâs almost too much.
She looks upwards at your tip where a bead of pre-cum beading out of your slit, darting her tongue out to lap at the bead of pre-cum, humming as it coats her tongue. âMmm⊠and you taste like⊠desperation.â
âLook at you,â she whispers, inching forward so your length rests across her lips. âSo hard already⊠just from me talking to you. Just from knowing that someone actually wants you not tomorrow but tonight.â
She kisses the underside of the head with her soft lips, opening her mouth to flick her tongue. She traces the thick veins across your shaft from base to tip, before peppering your cock with kisses, from your balls right to your head. You groan as she wraps her soft lips around your head for a brief, teasing suck, before pulling off with a wet pop.
âYouâve been so lonely, havenât you?â she murmurs sweetly. âWaiting for Minju to come home. Waiting for Minju to look at you the way Iâm looking at you right now. Waiting for Minju to choose you over work. Over everything.â
She gives you another long, slow lick from base to tip, eyes never leaving yours. âIâm different,â she says. âIâll let you do whatever you want to me. Anywhere. Anytime. No calls, no excuses, no âtomorrow.â Just you⊠and me⊠and this cock thatâs been aching for someone to actually worship it.â
âDonât say her name,â you growl, warning her.
She smiles wickedly, delighted by your reaction. âWhy?â she taunts, tongue flicking the slit, collecting more beads of pre-cum and swallowing it with an exaggerated moan. âScared of feeling guilty? Scared itâll make this real? Scared youâll realize how much youâve been starving while Minjuâs been too busy to feed you?â
She takes you into her mouth again, going deeper than the tip this time, cheeks hollowing, throat relaxing as she pushes you past her gag reflex. Spit drips down your shaft in thick strands as she holds it there, her eyes watering as she tries to stretch her narrow throat around you. She pulls off with a gasp.
âMy name is Minju too,â she chokes, saliva spluttering as her lips brushes the head, voice dripping with a mock sweetness. âYou can just treat me like your wife. Iâll be the wife who actually stays. The wife who doesnât leave you waiting. The wife who lets you fuck her throat whenever you need it. The wife who lets you breed her whenever you want.â
Your hands grip tight at your sides. Her words cut deeper than you expect, each one naming the exact ache youâve been carrying for weeks.
âDonâtââ you growl again, but it's shaky now. âDonât fucking say her name.â
She giggles cruelly and kisses the tip again. âWhy not? Because it hurts? Because you know Iâm right? Because you know Minju hasnât touched you like this in weeks? Because you know Minju would never let you fuck her mouth until she cries? Because you know Minju would never beg for your cum in her ass?â
She parts her mouth around your cock and takes you deeper again. Her throat opens wider, and she gags softly as she forces herself all the way down, pressing her nose into your pelvis. You don't want to admit it, but she's intentionally forcing you deeper than your wife usually would. She holds herself right there, throat convulsing around you, spit bubbling from her lips, eyes watering but never breaking contact. Each ripple of her throat walls around your cock sends tingles up your spine, and the way her eyes tear continuously makes your heart beat faster. She pulls off slowly, sliding your cock inch by inch out of her mouth, until you're all out, until strings of thick saliva connect her swollen lips to your cock.
âIâll be your dumping ground,â she rasps. âIâll let you dump all that loneliness, all that anger, all that cum inside me. Whenever you want. Wherever you want. No âtomorrow.â No âmaybe.â Just âyesâ. Just ânowâ. Just âmeâ.â
Your breathing is ragged now, chest heaving. Guilt wells up in you from her mouth around you, but it's drowning under the weight of her words, under the way sheâs looking at you like youâre the only thing that matters.
âDonât,â you growl again, but it's quieter this time.
She smiles wider. âMake me.â
You snap.
You grab both of her pigtails firmly and yank her forward, gagging her hard as you shove your cock all the way down her throat, balls pressing against her chin. Her eyes water instantly, mascara already starting to streak, but she doesnât pull back. She moans around you, muffled and garbled, hands gripping your thighs like sheâs anchoring herself.
You fuck her mouth violently, hips snapping forward, yanking her head onto you as you wrap her pigtails tight around your fists. âStupid fucking mouth, I told you to not speak her name,â you growl, pulling her hair hard. âCan't speak now, huh?â Saliva explodes from the corners of her lips with every thrust, thick strings dripping down her chin, splattering onto her chest, onto the floor.
âGluck-gluck-gluck,â she garbles out continuously, the wet and obscene sounds echoing off the boxes around.
Sheâs crying, tears streaming down her cheeks, but sheâs smiling through it, giving satisfied, smug little smirks every time you pull back far enough for her to gasp for air. Her tongue never stops as you abuse her face, swirling, pressing, milking you even as she chokes.
You yank harder on her pigtails, pulling her all the way down again. Her nose presses into your pelvis. She gurgles, throat convulsing around you, spit bubbling out, running down your balls. âStupid fucking girlââ you growl. âDonâtâdonât fucking say her name.â
She pushes your thighs and pulls off just enough to gasp. Her spit hangs in thick strands from her lips to your cock. âIs that the only thing you can say? Can't find any other valid reason to shut me up, huh?â She taunts as she gathers another pool of saliva and spits on your cock.
âThen make me stop talking,â she rasps breathlessly. âFuck my throat harder. Make me choke on it. Show me how much youâve been holding back while sheâs been too busy to swallow you.â
You snap again.
You shove her head down deeper, harder, and faster. Pigtails pulled tight like reins. Her throat is probably bulging visibly with every thrust â a pity you can't see it. She gags violently, tears pouring freely now, mascara ruined in black streaks down her cheeks, but her eyes stay locked on yours â wide, wet, defiant, delighted. Saliva sprays everywhere, dripping down her chin, splattering over the fabric covering her chest, pooling on the floor between her knees.
âGluck-gluck-gluck-gluck,â her relentless, unceasing, filthy, wet sounds fill the entire storage room. She coughs splurts of saliva out from her nose as you fuck her throat, and she's shaking, thighs trembling, but she doesnât stop sucking. Doesnât stop moaning around you. Doesnât stop smiling through the tears.
You sense her hand slip between her legs, rubbing her clit frantically while she gets off the feeling of your cock ravaging her throat, trying to reach her high. Her own hands find a rhythm, but it's the same rhythm as the beat at which your cock is disappearing and reappearing past her lips.
âFucking throat slut,â you grunt, pumping non-stop. âLook at you, being such a whore for my cock. Can't rebuke me now, huh?â
She moans at your insults, rubbing even harder and faster, until she cums hard. Her screams muffle around your cock, sending vibrations that shoot into your balls. Her body jerks violently as fresh slick soaks her fingers and drips onto the concrete below.
You keep fucking her throat through her orgasm, hips snapping, pigtails yanking, spit flying in thick ropes everywhere with every brutal thrust.
Sheâs a complete piece of art, mascara-streaked face flushed and wrecked, chin glossy and dripping, throat raw and bulging, but sheâs still smiling. Still taunting with her eyes. Still taking every inch like she was made for it.
You pull her off your slick and throbbing cock, the strings of thick spit hanging between you and her ruined mouth. She kneels there, gasping for air, coughing, drooling, but the smirk never leaves her face.
She gasps for air, coughing and drooling, but sheâs smiling wide. âMore,â she rasps. âGive me everything.â
You kneel down and grab onto her shoulders and turn her roughly, flipping her upside down onto you as you lay on the ground. Her head hovers over your length, skirt bunched at her waist, and her soaked panties are emanating heat and musk right into your face. You grab on to her skirt and yank it off, tugging her panties to the side with a sharp rip, exposing her dripping pussy that's pink and swollen, its clit throbbing.
You bury your face between her thighs without hesitation. Tongue plunging into her wet heat, lapping at her folds, sucking hard on her clit. She tastes so sweet and slightly salty, slick coating your tongue, dripping down your chin. You eat her like youâre starving, tongue flicking relentlessly, lips sealing around her clit, sucking until her hips buck against your face.
She moans loudly and immediately takes you back into her mouth, stuffing your cock in, throat open wider than before, taking you deeper than before. Her lips stretch wide around your cock, cheeks hollowing as she sucks.
Both her pigtails hang vertically to the ground and you grab them again, wrapping them tight around your fists, and yank her head down while you eat her out. Your cock stuffs her throat completely, sending explosions of saliva from her lips with every pull.
Your cock bends towards her throat with every plunge, the glucking and gurgling sounds vibrating obscenely around you, making your balls tighten. Sheâs thrashing like she's having a seizure, hips bucking against your face, pussy grinding on your tongue. You suck her clit hard, tongue flicking relentlessly, heavy with intention to make her mind break.
Her hands flail helplessly at the side, trying to grab hold onto anything for support, but there's nothing. Instead, she can only submit to your yanks that continuously stuff her throat onto your cock.
She reaches her hands towards her choking face and wipes the filth that's obscuring her eyes, but you reciprocate by pulling down even harder, stuffing even deeper into her face, and a fresh wave of tears burst out of her eyes.
Every oscillation of your tongue on her pussy causes her to shake and tremble even more, and her orgasm builds with every passing second. The next thing you know, she's cumming violently, squirting all over your face, spraying hot slick onto your chin, your neck, every drop of her juices dripping down your chest.
She tries to scream, but it is muffled around your cock as her thighs clamp around your head. You keep licking through it all, tasting her release, feeling her tremble. Endless amounts of slick floods your mouth, running down your jaw, soaking into the collar of your polo shirt.
Sheâs still sucking sloppily â wait you're the one who's tugging her head on your cock, gagging her even as she shakes from her orgasm. Her throat convulses around your cock, spit bubbling out, running down your balls.
You yank harder on her pigtails, pulling her head down until her nose presses into your pelvis again. She gurgles, chokes, saliva bursting in thick ropes from her lips, splattering onto her face, her hair, the floor.
Her small face is not smooth like porcelain anymore. It's utterly filled with her slimy, bubbly and glossy saliva thatâs slathered all over her entire face. You loosen your grip a little, allowing her to catch a quick gasp, spit hanging in thick strands from her lips to your cock.
âFuckââ she rasps, voice totally wrecked. âYou taste so good⊠bet my throat feels so good huh? Taking you deeper and better than Minju would ever make you feel.â
âShut upââ you growl, voice shaking.
She giggles and takes you back in, and you do the same, forcing every inch up into her throat. You thrust your hips up as you pull her down, fucking your cock into her throat, snapping your hips continuously.
You keep fucking her throat â hips snapping, pigtails yanking, spit flying in thick ropes with every brutal thrust. Gluck-gluck-gluck â the sounds are obscene, echoing off the boxes, filling the room.
You feel her hand slip between her legs again, rubbing her clit frantically right in front of your face, and she cums again, body jerking violently as fresh slick sprays your face again. Sheâs still sucking, gagging herself on you even as she shakes from her second orgasm.
Youâre close, dangerously close. âIâm going to fucking cumââ you announce as your balls tight, cock throbbing, the first pulse building in your base. Your hips goes into overdrive, slamming up into her throat pussy and you roar, exploding into her. Waves after waves of pent up cum surge into her mouth as she gags and chokes, her throat greedily gulping and swallowing every drop. But even so, you're spilling so much that your cum bursts and leaks out from her nostrils, dribbling down past her mouth and chin, flowing onto your balls below.
As your orgasm wanes, you pull her off to the side, looking at her. She turns to face you with her saliva and cum streaked face, coughing, drooling, gasping for air. Black smudges of mascara spread across her cheekbones, and her face is flushed and wrecked.
Park Minju looks at you with a wide, satisfied and victorious smile, tongue sticking out to lick up all the cum that she couldn't swallow.
âMore,â she gasps. âGive me everything.â
You donât answer with words. You stand and pull her pigtails, hauling her up, spinning her around until her back slams against the nearest stack of boxes. The cardboard weakens a little under her small weight as her body hits it. She gasps, legs instinctively wrapping around your waist as you lift her off the ground, thighs clamping tight around your hips.
One hand clamping under her right thigh, you yank it high over your shoulder. Her body twists sideways and her pussy spreads wide open, pink and swollen, slick dripping down her inner thigh in slow, glistening trails. Her left leg plants onto the ground hooked for balance, toes curling in anticipation. The acrobatic pose is bizarre, but she handles it with ease. Her cunt is exposed completely, swollen lips parted, clit throbbing visibly, entrance fluttering like itâs begging to be filled again.
You donât ease in. You grab on to your cock and line up, thrusting hard and deep, burying yourself to the hilt in one brutal stroke.
Her pussy feels unbelievably tight and hot as you pierce her, causing her to cry out sharply as her head snaps back against the boxes. Her pussy clamps down instantly, walls fluttering around you like sheâs trying to pull you deeper, trying to suck you in. Her slick coats your cock instantly, dripping down your balls, splattering onto the floor below.
âFuckâyesââ she moans, voice already hoarse and wrecked from the throat-fucking. âLook how wide I open for you⊠Minju never spreads like this, does she? Never lets you see her pussy this desperate, this hungry⊠never lets you fuck her sideways like a slut who needs it.â
You growl, hips snapping forward. Each thrust into her is punishing and relentless, driving her pliable body into the cardboard with soft thuds. Her small perky tits bounce wildly under the cropped top, pointed hard nipples straining against the fabric. Her leg over your shoulder trembles with every slam and her thigh muscles flexes, toes curling as she takes every inch. Sweat beads on her skin, glistening in the dim bulb light, dripping down her neck, between her breasts.
âShut up,â you rasp, voice raw and shaking. âDonâtââ
âDonât what?â she taunts breathlessly, eyes glassy with pleasure and defiance. âDonât tell you the truth? Donât tell you that Minjuâs been too busy to fuck you properly? Donât tell you that Minju hasnât let you cum inside her like this in weeks? Donât tell you that Minju would never let you lift her leg like this, spread her wide, fuck her like sheâs nothing but a hole for you?â
She eggs you on and you thrust harder, slamming into her, feeling her cervix with every stroke. Her pussy squelches greedily, wet slaps filling the room amidst her small yelps and moans. Her body rocks with every impact, tits bouncing so violently despite being small.
She giggles even as she moans. âMy name is Minju. Iâll be your Dumpy. Iâll be your dumping ground,â she gasps between thrusts. âDump all that frustration in me. Dump all that cum in me. Dump everything she wonât take. Iâll take it allâŠâ
A sickening guilt stabs through you, but your hips donât stop. You think of Minju at home right now, probably asleep on the couch again, phone clutched like a lifeline. You think of the note on the pillow this morning. You think of the conversation about kids, her wistful âI want them⊠but not now,â the promise of âtomorrowâ that never arrives. You think of the ring on your finger, heavy and burning.
You thrust harder channeling and dumping your anger into her like you're trying to fuck your guilt away. You're angry at her, angry at yourself, but you can't stop slamming into Dumpyâs spread pussy..
She cums suddenly again, pussy clamping down so hard you see stars. Her scream echoes off the walls, body shaking, slick gushing around your cock. Her leg over your shoulder trembles, toes curling tight, nails digging into your shoulders hard enough to leave marks, but you donât stop.
You keep pounding and grinding against her clit with every stroke until she cums again and again, hammering into her until her back arches against the boxes, head thrown back, crying out your name like a prayer.
âFill your Dumpy,â she begs, looking at you with glassy eyes. âBreed Dumpyâs pussyâgive Dumpy what she wonât let you giveâcum inside DumpyâDumpy is all yoursââ
You bury yourself deep and cum again, groaning into her neck as you spill inside her, pulse after pulse painting her walls. She milks you as you unload, taking every drop, until her slick and your cum mixes, leaking out around your cock, dripping down her thighs in thick, white strands.
You stay inside her for a long moment, both of you breathing hard, sweat-slick skin pressed together, hearts hammering against each other before pulling out slowly.
Cum leaks from her pussy as you unplug from her. It's thick and white, dripping down her thigh, pooling on the floor below.
She looks down at it, then up at you, smiling wickedly.
âFuck me more,â she whispers.
You flip her around roughly, bending her over a low table. Her hands brace against the edge and you grab her hips, lifting her ass high, presented like an offering.
She gasps delightedly as you spread her cheeks wide. Her ass is perfectly firm and tight, slick from earlier spit and cum. You spit on her rim, rub it in with your thumb, then line up your cock that's still hard and leaking.
You press forward slowly, pushing the head, popping past her tight ring with a low grunt from both of you.
âFuckâtightââ you groan, feeling her clench around you like fire.
She sobs with half pain and half pleasure, but she pushes back onto you. âMoreâgive me all of itâbreed my assââ
You thrust deeper carefully, breaching her ass inch by inch until youâre fully seated, balls pressed against her pussy. Grip tightening around her hip, you lift her entire lower body off the ground. Her legs dangle helplessly and feet kicking uselessly in the air as you hoist her like a doll.
You grip her hips harder, fingers digging into soft flesh and start to move. You start slow, pulling and pushing into her with long, deep strokes that feel her ass grip every inch.
âFuckâyouâre stretching Dumpy so wideâso deepââ
You grunt a response and move faster and harder, pounding into her, lifting her higher with every thrust. Her body rocks forward with every plunge, small tits jiggling cutely, pigtails bouncing wildly. Her legs dangle helplessly, feet kicking with each impact, toes curling and uncurling.
âFuckâyesâbreed your Dumpyââ she cries. âFill my assâgive Dumpy what Minju never let you haveââ
Guilt crashes in again. You think of Minjuâs âmaybe⊠maybe Iâll try analâ promise. You think of her asleep at home, trusting you. You think of the vows you made when you kissed her in front of the wedding officiant.
You thrust even harder into Dumpy, trying to drown it out but she fucks with your mind as she laughs and giggles even while she sobs.
âShe never let you, did she?â she taunts. âToo busy. Too tired. Too âtomorrow.â But I will. Iâll let you breed my ass whenever you want. Iâll be your dumping ground. Dump everything in me. Loneliness. Anger. Cum. Everything she wonât take.â
You growl and slam into her animalistically. Her ass ripples with every thrust, cheeks clapping against your hips. âPleaseâ,â you grunt shakily. âStopââ
âStop what?â she gasps. âStop telling you the truth? Stop telling you that sheâs been too busy to let you have this? Stop telling you that Iâll let you cum in my ass every night if you want? Stop telling you Iâll be the wife who actually stays?â
You lose it. You pound into her ass brutally, lifting her higher, hips snapping so hard the table creaks beneath her. You use her like a pocket pussy, plunging her up and down your cock. In and out. In and out. Her hand reaches down to her pussy and she stuffs her fingers in, jamming them into her soaked, tight cunt in conjunction with your thrusts. Her screams turn into sobs, body shaking, ass clenching around you like a vise.
âCum in me,â she begs. âBreed my assâfill me upâmake me yoursââ
A few more strokes and you're gone. You bury yourself deep and cum hard, groaning as you spill inside her ass, painting her walls. She cums together with you, ass spasming, pussy squirting again.
You hold her there, body still lifted off the ground, legs dangling, cock buried deep until the last pulse fades.
You pull out slowly.
Thick white cum leaks from her ass, dripping down her crack, onto her pussy, onto the floor.
She collapses forward onto the table, breathing hard, trembling.
You step back and silence crashes in.
You stare at her wrecked state. Her pigtails are a mess, almost undone, face utterly destroyed from her throating, cum leaking out of her holes.
You clean up in silence, wiping yourself off, pull your pants up, and avoid her eyes. She watches you the whole time, expression unreadable. You leave without another word.
Kim Minju is asleep when you get in. You slip into bed beside her.
She half-wakes, murmuring something soft before curling towards you.
You stare at the ceiling. You feel something in your pocket and fish it out. It's one of Dumpyâs pink ribbons that's tied around her hair earlier. You hold it in the air, staring at the ceiling, the same thoughts running through your mind again and again: what have you done? You stuff the ribbon back into your pants and try to fall asleep.
The weeks after the night at the storage don't feel like weeks. They feel like one long night stretched thin. You keep telling yourself it was just once. A mistake. A moment of weakness. You tell yourself youâll stop. But you don't.
It's Tuesday night, three days after you destroyed Dumpy. Minju comes home late. Late again. You try to cheer her up and offer a shoulder massage, but she waves you off, fishing out her laptop, tapping on the computer keys until sunrise arrives.
Her card in your wallet glows like fireflies. You text Dumpy on Friday night:
<You, 11.43 p.m.> Tomorrow after the event?
Her reply comes instantly.
<Unknown Number, 11:43 p.m.> Storage room. Bring that loneliness. Iâll take it all
The next thing you know, you're balls deep in her, pounding her small and tight pussy with your neglected heart.
Another week passes and the next event ends late again. Minju leaves first to meet a shareholder and you stay for cleanup as usual. Dumpy waits for you in the carpark, and when you're done, she's riding you in the backseat as the windows fog from the heat, moans muffled against your neck.
âMinju left you again,â she whispers. âBut I'm here. I'm always here.â
You grunt and cum again, filling her insides full with your cum and hopefully some guilt. She kisses you as you catch your breath, murmuring into your ears, âYou forget her when you're in me, don't you?â
Two weeks pass, and on a Tuesday morning, Minju snaps at you over breakfast, which you cooked her favourite juk. âI said Iâd be home early, okay? Stop asking.â She storms out. You stare at the empty chair.
You text Dumpy: Now?
She replies instantly with an address: a quiet multi-story car park near the office.
You meet her in the stairwell and she drops to her knees without a word, taking you in her mouth, eyes locked on yours. âShe doesnât even suck you anymore, does she?â she murmurs between licks. âBut I will. Every day if you want.â
You grunt and unload your cum down her throat. She swallows, smiles at you cheekily and wipes her lips. Afterward she doesnât let go right away. She rests her forehead against your thigh, breathing hard.
âI think Iâm falling for you,â she whispers. âStupid, right?â
She reaches up, gently wipes the corner of your mouth with her thumb, then rests her cheek against your thigh for a long moment, as if she could stay there forever.
You freeze before pulling away, zip up, leave without answering. But her words stay with you all weekend. Maybe you should stop meeting her tomorrow.
The following week, the night right before the Saturday event, Minju actually tries. She comes home at 7:45 p.m., straddling you on the couch and riding you slowly. âI love you,â she whispers, tears in her eyes. âIâm sorry I keep failing you.â
She bounces on you until you cum inside her, holding her close, but youâre thinking of Dumpyâs mouth, Dumpy's pussy, Dumpyâs ass.
Guilt chokes you and you almost confess. You look in the mirror when you're showering and tell yourself you'll confess tomorrow, but that night you dream of Dumpy â not the sex, but her resting her head on your thigh, whispering âI think I'm falling for you. Stupid, right?â over and over.
The cycle keeps repeating itself. Minju leaving early, coming back late. You try to reduce her burden, caring for her whenever you can. You don't even ask her for sex or anything, just trying to support her to the best you can, but your relationship with her got worse, not better.
But it always ends with her snapping back at you, then coming back apologising, feeling guilty. You totally understand her feelings. She's tired from her incessant work. But you can't help but have the thought that maybe, maybe you wish for her to lose her job.
Every rejection, every snapped word, every empty âtomorrowâ is replaced with another session with Dumpy. And today is no different. Dumpy waits in the supply closet. She bends over a shelf, skirt hiked up, no panties. You fuck her from behind hard and fast, moans muffled against her arm.
âShe hasnât fucked you in days, has she?â she pants. âBut I will. Iâll let you cum in me every night. Iâll be your secret wife. Your dumping ground.â You groan and unload inside her.
After pulling out, she turns and kisses you, before pulling a tissue from her bag. She carefully wipes your cock clean before tucking you back in, her touch lingering like sheâs reluctant to let go.
âI love you,â she whispers. âIâm falling so hard it hurts. I know you love her. But I canât stop.â
You donât say it back. Instead you kiss Park Minju, yes you call her Minju now; you kiss her longer than usual before leaving. The pull is stronger now.
Weeks pass and your weekly sessions with Minju become daily ones now. Then one morning she texts you one day about her promotion from Junior Manager to full Manager, adding that itâs your wife that approved her promotion.
No fanfare, no cake, just a new title, a slightly larger desk, and a new nameplate. You see her at tonightâs sponsor mixer event. Sheâs not the pink pigtail girl anymore. Sheâs wearing a vivid, blood-red sleeveless dress that clings to her tight pliable body that you have thoroughly explored every inch of. The hem of her dress stops mid-thigh, short enough to be dangerous when she moves, but still elegant enough for the event. Large, metallic spherical earrings swing from her ears, catching the light with every turn of her head, bold and expensive-looking.
You can't stop staring. Her hair is sleek and glossy, pulled back into a low, tight ponytail with a few soft strands that hang over her face, making her look both sophisticated and dangerously seductive.
It screams confidence.
It screams look at me.
She's not acting as a flyer or sample giver anymore. Instead, she's taking on the same role as your wife, moving round effortlessly, turning to greet sponsors and shareholders alike. She's working like a fish in water, and even better than your wife, you reckon â probably due to her familiarity from acting as a flyer girl. She pays attention to even small details, bending slightly to pick up fallen flyers, helping to clear empty glasses of cocktail. She walks across the rooftop with a slow measure stride, dress shifting with her, stretching tight over her breasts, riding up just enough on her thighs to make your imagination run wild.
You canât stop staring, and Minju knows it.
Every time your eyes meet across the room, she gives that same small, knowing smile, fully aware of what the dress was doing to him, and that she had chosen it on purpose.
You can't help it, but you didn't even spare your wife a single glance. Your entire mind was on Minju. Later, when the last guests have left and the venue empties, she sends the text.
<Dumpy, 12.36 a.m.> Her office. 10 minutes after cleanup. Door will be unlocked â Dumpy â€ïž
You tell yourself youâll go home and worry about the drift with your wife tomorrow. But your legs find themselves shuffling towards the officeâs elevator.
The building is silent after hours, and the lights have all dimmed into standby mode. The hallways are empty and the only sounds are the hum of the air-conditioning and the footsteps from your feet. You take the elevator to the 14th floor, and your heart is hammering in your chest. The elevatorâs doors slide open and you immediately spot your wifeâs office door ajar, warm light spilling into the corridor like an invitation you should refuse.
You step in. Minju is sitting on your wifeâs desk with her legs crossed. The nameplate on the desk reads Kim Minju, Senior Director, and Minjuâs new one is beside it: Park Minju, Manager.
She smiles when she sees you. âYouâre here,â she says softly.
You donât answer.
She hops off the desk and struts past you, walking to the door. She locks it with a quiet click. Then she turns back to you and spreads her arms out wide. âLook where we are,â she whispers. âHer desk. Her office. And her husband about to fuck me on in it. On it.â
Your heart thumps with a mix of guilt and excitement.
She steps closer to you, brushing her fingers on the front of your polo, stopping right over your heart. âShe never fucks you here, does she?â she murmurs. âToo busy. Too tired. Too âtomorrow.â Always tomorrow. Tomorrow sheâll come home early. Tomorrow sheâll choose you. Tomorrow sheâll let you breed her. Tomorrow sheâll remember you exist.â
She presses her palm flat against your chest, feeling the frantic beat. âBut tomorrow never comes for her, does it? She leaves you waiting. Leaves you lonely. Leaves you starving.â
âIâm Minju. I'm different. Iâll give you whatever you want whenever you want.â She smirks at you. Each and every one of her words stab into your heart, wearing off your love for your wife that has already been slowly eroded by all the tomorrows.
Your body betrays you despite yourself. Youâre already hard, aching, straining against your pants. She looks down and notices it. âGood.â
âIâll be better than her,â she whispers, fingers trailing down to your belt. âIâll let you do whatever you want, so give me your love instead of your lying wife.â
She unbuckles you with practiced precision, dragging your zipper down slowly. She's acting slightly different today, exuding an aura of calmness and seduction thatâs different from her usual wildness. Hooking her fingers onto your pants and boxers, she drags them off you, throwing it into the corner.
Your cock springs free, heavy and hard, slapping against her palm. She giggles delightfully, wrapping her fingers around you, stroking slowly.
âLook how hard you are,â she purrs. âGive me all your love and attention.â She drops to her knees â right here, on Minjuâs office carpet â and takes you into her mouth.
She pushes onto you slowly, as if she's worshipping your cock, lips parting around the head, tongue swirling in lazy circles as she savors the taste of you. Then she sinks deeper as her cheeks hollow, relaxing her throat, taking more and more until her nose is almost touching your pelvis.
She looks up at you, tears forming in her eyes and pulls out. Your cock reappears out from her mouth, slick and shiny with her saliva. Pushing you back in, she bobs sideways, so her cheeks bulge obscenely with every plunge, the outline of your cock visible through her skin. Saliva drips freely, running down your shaft.
You grunt and shiver with every swirl of her tongue. She keeps teasing you, sliding her swollen lips up and down the side of your cock like sheâs worshipping every inch, before returning to the swollen head, sucking hard, tongue flicking the slit.
âTell me Iâm doing good,â she murmurs, lips brushing the tip. âTell me Iâm better than her.â
You manage a strained âYouâre⊠doing good.â
She smiles wickedly. âBetter than your wife? Who sucks your cock better? Say it. Say my name is better.â
You donât answer.
She dives back down, sucking harder, trying even more desperately, cheeks hollowing deeper, throat opening wider. Her lips are swollen now, glossy and red, bubbling thick saliva all over your head as she keeps trying to stay seductively elegant even while choking on you.
âDonât you want to let out all your frustration into my mouth?â she taunts, pulling off again, strings of spit connecting her lips to your cock. Your hand stays firm at your sides, trying your best not to just grab on to her head and fuck into her skull.
The way she sucks you feels so good that you feel like ascending. Slurping sounds fill the entire room as she bobs and sucks faster and faster, hands joining her mouth working on your cock as she continues to jerk and suck you.
âMake sure to cum all over my pretty face. Paint me. Mark me. Show me who you really belong to tonight.â
She keeps the head on her tongue, swirling, jerking your cock hard with both hands, eyes locked on yours, daring you.
You feel the pressure building fast. âIâm⊠gonna cumââ
She doesnât stop sucking and stroking. Right as you explode, she pulls you out and stops stroking, letting your cum just drip and flow out in thick strands straight into her open mouth. You grunt in frustration, hips jerking, wanting to thrust, wanting to bury yourself.
But she just holds there, smiling up at you, mouth full of your cum, some of it already spilling over her lower lip.
âPleaseâŠâ you mutter, finally saying something.
She stands, pushes you onto the edge of the desk, then shoves you down until youâre lying flat on it. She climbs on and straddles you, hiking up her red dress and sinking down onto you without any pause, taking you to the hilt in one smooth motion.
The desk creaks under the sudden weight. She gasps, tipping her head back, reveling in the feeling of you in her. Her pussy is scorching hot, slick and tight, velvety walls fluttering around you like sheâs been waiting for this all day. The stretch is immediate and overwhelming, and sheâs so wet that the first downward roll makes an obscene squelch, her juices already dripping down your balls onto the wood beneath.
She starts riding immediately, rolling hips slowly, circling herself around so the head of your cock grinds against her front wall. She leans forward and pants viciously, âLook at me. âFucking you on your wifeâs desk. Bet she never let you do this before, right? Bet she never rode you like a desperate little slut on her own workspace. Bet she never let you see her this wet, this needy, this fucking hungry for your cock.â
You grip her hips hard, sinking your fingers into her soft flesh. She moans louder, bouncing faster, and her ass slaps against your thighs obscenely. The desk rocks and papers slide around, pens clattering to the floor.
âHarder,â she begs. âPlease⊠fuck me harder⊠I need it⊠I need you to fuck me like youâve been dying to fuck someone who actually wants it.â
You comply silently, snapping your hips up to meet her downward slams with brutal force. The desk groans louder and the wood protests under the assault. You reach up to grab her dress, ripping it open to expose her small perky tits. You grab on to them and knead, thumb rubbing her small nipples, pinching them until they swell. Her moans turn into sharp cries as her body trembles, small tits bouncing wildly in your hands.
âShe never grinds on you like this, does she?â she taunts, voice breaking with every downward slam. âNever begs for your cock. Never lets you fill her up without pulling out. Never lets you breed her. But I will. Iâll let you flood me. Iâll let you knock me up right here on her fucking desk while sheâs out working late again.â
You thrust up harder, trying to drown the guilt. The photo frame on the corner of the desk wobbles.
âHarder,â she begs again, nails raking down your chest. âPlease⊠fuck me harder⊠make me forget everything but you inside me⊠make me yoursâŠâ
You slam up into her deeper and faster, and the desk shakes violently now. She cums suddenly and her body locks up, pussy spasming wildly, sweet juices gushing around your cock, dripping down your balls onto the wood. She cries out your name, tears of joy slipping from the corners of her eyes.
You flip her, laying her flat on the desk, legs spread wide, feet braced on the edge. Papers scatter further. The nameplate falls off the desk with a clatter. You thrust back in brutally, folding her legs up against her chest so you can bottom out completely.
The desk shakes violently. The photo frame â the one of you and Minju on your honeymoon â topples and falls on the table, landing right beside your pounding body.
You freeze for half a second. Guilt spreads like ice in your veins as you stare at the photo. Your thrusts slow.
Minju grabs your face with both hands, forcing you to look at her instead. âForget her,â she begs. âOnly focus on breeding the Minju right in front of you. Iâm the only one who deserves your love. Iâm the only one whoâs here. Iâm the only one who actually wants you. She left you starving. She left you waiting. She left you with nothing but empty tomorrows. But Iâm giving you everything. Right now. Breed me. Fill me. Make me yours.â
You roar. Your mind goes blank.
You slam into her, pistoning hard, bottoming out with every thrust until sheâs shrieking in pleasure. Her nails rake down your back, legs trembling around your waist. âHarder,â she begs again. âPlease⊠fuck me harder⊠I need it⊠I⊠I think Iâve fallen in love with youâŠâ
Your hips snap faster and deeper, and the desk rocks dangerously now. Her cries turn into sobs of pleasure, tears streaming down her cheeks.
âShe never let you fuck her raw like this,â she pants between cries. âNever let you cum inside her without pulling out. Never let you flood her womb. But I will. Iâll let you breed me every night. Iâll let you dump everything in me â loneliness, anger, cum, all of it.â
You pound deeper, feeling her walls flutter, her body shake, her tears drip onto the desk.
You tip over and cum, spilling deep inside her pussy, pulse after pulse flooding her, overflowing, leaking out around your cock and dripping onto the wood.
You stay buried for a long moment, recovering from the high before pulling out slowly. A thick stream of cum flows out of her, white and viscous, pooling on the desk right beside the fallen photo frame of you and your wife.
Minju lies there, chest heaving, dress torn open, tits exposed, cum leaking from her pussy, mascara streaked from tears of pleasure and intensity.
She looks up at you, voice soft and trembling.
âIâm sorry⊠but I love you.â
You donât answer.
You clean up the mess in silence â wiping the desk with tissues from her bag, wiping yourself, giving her your shirt to wear over her torn dress so she can walk out without looking completely ruined.
Then you both leave the office.
You cry in the car the entire ride home.
***
The apartment feels colder every night now.
Minju comes home earlier some days â 7:30, 8:00 â but the effort shows. Her eyes are tired, shoulders rounded, smile thin. She tries to touch you more: hand on your arm while cooking, kiss on the cheek before bed â but you flinch sometimes, and she notices.
She doesnât ask why.
She just looks at you longer, searching your face like sheâs trying to find the man she married.
Tonight she comes home early.
She drops her bag, kicks off her heels, crosses the living room without speaking. Youâre on the couch, phone in hand, staring at nothing. She straddles your lap without warning, hands framing your face, kissing you hard and deep, possessive, tongue claiming every inch of your mouth like sheâs erasing something she canât name.
âYouâre mine,â she whispers against your lips, voice fierce and trembling. âYou know that, right?â
You nod with your throat tight.
She doesnât wait for more words.
She undresses and straddles you immediately, grinding down on you, taking you in immediately.
âI love you,â she says. âI love you so much⊠Iâm sorry Iâve been so busy⊠Iâm sorry I keep failing youâŠâ
She gasps, as she bounces on you. âFuck,â she breathes. âYou feel⊠so goodâŠâ Her pussy is warm, welcoming, gripping you like sheâs afraid youâll disappear.
âYouâre mine,â she repeats, voice breaking. âNo one else gets this. No one else gets you.â
You grip her hips and try to anchor yourself, thrusting up to meet her.
âI love you,â she sobs into your neck. âIâm scared⊠Iâm scared Iâm losing youâŠâ
The words break something inside you.
You thrust harder and deeper, holding her close, trying to believe her, trying to believe yourself.
It doesn't take long and she cums suddenly, pussy fluttering around you, a soft cry escaping her throat. She collapses onto your chest, trembling, clinging. She lifts her head, tears in her eyes. âDonât leave me,â she whispers. âPlease⊠donât leave meâŠâ
You almost confess, but you swallow them down. âTomorrow,â you whisper instead. âTomorrow weâll fix this.â
She nods against your skin, believing you. You hold her. She falls asleep in your arms soon after, breathing evening out, tears drying on her cheeks.
Before she drifts off completely, she murmurs against your chest:
âWeâll fix this⊠after work tomorrow. I promise. Tomorrow.â
You believe her.
Or you want to.
The next day passes in a haze.
You go to work. You check your phone too often. No messages from Minju. Both Minjus.
You come home at 6:58 p.m.
The apartment is dark except for the lamp in the living room.
Minju is on the couch, knees drawn up, arms wrapped around them, staring at the coffee table.
She doesnât move when you close the door.
She doesnât speak.
You walk closer.
On the table is her phone with the screen on. On it is a paused video.
You recognize the angle immediately.
Minjuâs office.
Park Minju on the desk.
You inside her.
The video is frozen mid-thrust â Minjuâs head thrown back, mouth open in a silent moan, your hands on her hips.
And next to that is a collection of different items: the hotel receipt, the text screenshot, a small vial of pink perfume she must have bought to compare, and a positive pregnancy kit.
She still doesnât speak.
You stand there frozen, heart in your throat.
Minutes pass.
Finally she looks up at you. Her eyes are red, calm, and empty.
âTomorrow,â she says quietly.
The word hangs between you.
She doesnât raise her voice. Doesnât cry.
âTomorrow weâll fix this. Tomorrow youâll come home early. Tomorrow weâll talk. Tomorrow weâll have kids. Tomorrow weâll be okay.â
She touches the phone screen and the video plays for a few seconds: Minjuâs moan, your groan, then she pauses it again.
âTomorrow feels useless to me now.â
She picks up the pregnancy test, holds it out so you can see the two lines clearly.
âI took it this morning. My period was already late. I thought⊠maybe it would make your love stay. But then I saw the recording. I didnât want to install the camera in my office. But you were coming home late every Saturday.â
She sets it back on the table.
She stands slowly, walking past you to the bedroom.
She doesnât slam the door.
She doesnât lock it.
She just closes it softly.
You stand in the living room alone.
The lamp flickers.
You donât follow her.
She doesnât divorce you.
You still sleep in the same room, the same bed. But there is a space between you now that no amount of âtomorrowsâ can close.
She no longer kisses you.
She no longer calls you âhoney.â
She no longer waits.
You sit on the couch in the dark, looking at the city lights through the window.
Tomorrow.
The word is hollow.
***
A few months pass. The apartment is quieter now. Minju doesn't come home early anymore. She doesn't come home late either. She just comes home when she comes home, keys clicking in the lock at whatever hour work releases her. She doesn't announce her arrival. Doesn't call out âhoney.â Doesn't kiss your cheek or ask how your day was.
She just exists in the same space.
She cooks sometimes â simple things, rice and stir-fry, nothing like the dumplings she used to make for you to taste-test. She eats alone at the kitchen island, phone propped up, scrolling through emails or reports. You sit across from her some nights, but conversation has become optional. She doesn't push. You don't push.
She stopped waiting for you to come home.
She stopped asking why you were late.
She stopped looking at you like she was trying to find the man she married.
You cut contact with Park Minju the day after the confrontation. You blocked her number, deleted the messages, threw every card in the bin for real this time. She didn't fight it. Her last text sat unread for a day before you deleted it too.
âSo you chose her after all. I quit. I can't stay in the same company as her anymore. Will she ever come back to you tomorrow? I will always wait for you, and hope that tomorrow will be the day you'll choose me.â
You didn't reply.
You didn't need to.
The guilt is a constant now. You see it in the mirror: distant eyes, forced smiles at work, shoulders hunched like you're carrying something no one can see. Colleagues ask if you're okay. You say that you're tired.
You are tired.
Minju moves forward.
She throws herself into work, not frantically, but methodically. Meetings run longer. Reports get polished. The dumpling line launches successfully despite the supplier issues; she gets a quiet promotion, a corner office, a new assistant. She doesn't celebrate. She just keeps going.
She doesn't talk about the pregnancy.
Not once.
You see the changes: her hand resting on her stomach when she thinks you're not looking, the way she buys prenatal vitamins and hides them in the back of the cabinet, the loose shirts she starts wearing. She doesn't ask you to be part of it. She doesn't tell you the due date. She just prepares alone.
You don't ask.
You don't know how.
Nights are the hardest.
She sleeps on her side of the bed, back facing you, pillow hugged to her chest. You lie awake, staring at the ceiling, listening to her breathing. Sometimes she cries in her sleep, and you reach out, hand hovering over her shoulder, then pull back.
You don't touch her anymore.
She doesn't touch you.
The apartment is full of ghosts: the crooked honeymoon photo on your desk, the empty side of the couch where she used to fall asleep waiting, the kitchen island where she used to feed you dumplings and promise âtomorrow.â
You volunteer for fewer events now. The team lead doesn't ask why. You tell yourself it's because Minju doesn't need the help anymore.
Really, it's because you can't stand the rooftop.
The city lights look different from up there now.
One night you go anyway.
It's a small mixer, nothing like the past events. Fewer suits, fewer sponsors. You arrive late, no polo, no badge. Just you, in a jacket, standing at the edge of the terrace, looking out over the skyline.
Minju isn't here. She's home, probably asleep, hand on her stomach.
You lean on the railing, wind tugging at your hair.
The word rises unbidden.
Tomorrow?
You whisper it to the city lights.
You remember the night she cried âdonât leave meâ and you whispered âtomorrow.â Now tomorrow has come, and sheâs gone anyway.
It tastes like nothing.
The word is hollow.
***
***
Author's Note
If this ending hurts, I'm sorry â and also not sorry.
This story was never about a happy reunion or a neat fix. It is about what happens when both people let âtomorrowâ become an excuse instead of a promise. Sometimes love isnât enough â and sometimes itâs the deferrals that kill it.â
Minju's absence created the void. OC's betrayal filled it. Neither is innocent. Neither gets redemption here.
Everyone lost to tomorrows. OC, Kim Minju, Park Minju.
If you're sad, that's okay. That means you cared about them. That means the story did something to you.
Thank you for staying until the end, even when it hurt.
I hope I managed to get the message through well. Sometimes, you have to brave past your fears and face Tomorrows head on. Otherwise, the endless procrastinations may result in a tomorrow forever.
A/N: 3 years to the day since my last fic. Hello again!
Dahyun is a dream girl.
The kind of dream where she doesnât need to say a single word for you to follow her. Sheâs Kim freakinâ Dahyun. Of course youâd follow her anywhere.
The kind of dream you tell your friends. Theyâd say, Bullshit, how are you with her? And to be fair, youâre not sure either. A girl like her shouldnât even exist in the same plane as a guy like you. Theyâd have to rewrite the laws of physics.
Small trigger warning: maybe bit rougher than my usual writing
Life sucks.
Not like, oh youâre busy and tired. Life really sucks right now. Never before have you felt such an emptiness inside you. You feel like a hollow shell of yourself, completely void of what you once were.
A whole week has passed, and you still donât even have the courage to pick up your belongings from IUâs place. Every single day since that night, you find yourself driving to her house just to sit in your car for half an hour like an idiot before giving up and leaving. Every. Day.
Every time you check your phone, you pray for a message from her. Every night, you wake up in your bed hoping that it was all an awful nightmare, hoping that you would somehow magically wake up with IU by your side again. You donât even really know what you would do if she did, but thatâs a secondary thought. You just miss her.
Regardless, it never happens. You never wake up next to her.
Reality, despite your best attempts at denial, refuses to change. Itâs not a nightmare; Your sweat-covered body and tear-soaked face every time you wake up in the middle of the night are both real. Thereâs no escaping your new reality.
You never knock on her door. You never get a text. You never wake up next to her. A reality you donât believe you could ever accept. A degree of verisimilitude that you want to invalidate, even though you canât.
Itâs unbearable.
One week away from her was all you could manage before your eyes dried up. Little desiccated balls of scarlet, brimming with desolation, even looking at yourself in the mirror would set you off. Hearing your phone buzz was enough to give you the feeling of your heart dropping into your stomach even though itâs always the same useless spam email or stupid weather notification.
Why the fuck do you even have weather notifications? You should turn those off.
Being around people also is not an option. There is only one person you actually want to be around, but you canât. Itâs over. IU is no longer yours.
You spent the entire week working exclusively on editing from home where you could let your tears flow freely, you didnât have it in you to show up to the office. Apparently itâs possible to cry until you canât cry anymore. At least, youâre pretty sure youâre out of tears at this point.
Crying until your eyes go dry is a bit of a paradox, no? Shouldnât the tears make them wet?
Honestly, who cares. It doesnât really matter. You only have to tough it out for another few days before youâre done with work. Itâs truly a shame, because you think you still love being a photographer, but you need the break. You need time to just rot away alone.
At least covering all those shifts would work in your favor, now that you can finally cash them in. Although, now that you think about it, covering that one shift is what led to all of this. You should have just thrown the folder back in his face, that was your biggest mistake. None of this would have ever happened.
Who gives a shit if itâs IU? She ruined your life. Thereâs no way youâll ever be able to trust anyone again. Not after what she did to you.
You hate her.
âŠ
Let's be honest. No, you donât. Youâre lying to yourself. Maybe not lying, rather, refusing to believe? Does that make any sense? Not really. Seems like nothing makes sense these days.
And now you feel it again, entirely beyond your control, the tears are backâŠ
âFuck this,â you mumble, shoving your laptop into your bag and grabbing your keys.
â
âThank you, seriously,â you place the USB drive on your coworkerâs desk. âI owe you big for this.â
âOh shut up, I still owe you for everything,â he shakes his head and then hesitates for a second. âIs, uh, everything good?â
âYeah, why? Whatâs up?â you start packing your laptop back into your bag.
âItâs just thatâŠâ he nervously flips the USB between his fingers. âHavenât really seen you for like a week now, and youâre randomly taking a bit of an extended vacation. Not that you arenât allowed to, of course, we all need our breaksââ
âSo whatâs the problem?â
âWell,â he lays his hand flat on the desk. âNot to pry, but the sudden change is obviously tied in with a pretty big event.â
âThe breakup? I told you, it was mutual,â you zip up your bag. âThings just werenât going to work out with our work schedules and stuff. You know how it is, sheâs a busy girl.â
He stands up and talks a step towards you. âLook, even if it was mutual, I know it can be tough. I donât know the details and I donât need to, I just wanna make sure you know that you can talk to me if you need.â
You smile at him and hold your arm out, giving him a quick hug. âThank you, really, I appreciate it,â you pat him on the back and let go. âNow take care of the projects like theyâre your baby, Iâll be back soon. Donât fuck up my work.â
â
For what feels like the millionth time now, you find yourself staring at IUâs front door.
This time is a bit different, though, as youâve actually stepped out of your car and walked up to her doorstep. This is the closest youâve been to knocking on her door, but thereâs still something holding you back.
Perhaps itâs the thought that she might not be home.
No, who are you kidding, you know sheâs inside. You donât know how you know it, but you do. Itâs time to stop all of this nonsense and address it head on. Then, right as you raise your hand to knock, the door swings open.
There she is. Standing in the doorframe, a small nightgown exposing her shoulders and covering down to the top of her thighs. Very light makeup and absolutely breathtaking, sheâs more beautiful than you remember.
âSorry, the camera told me someone was here a few minutes ago, I wasnât sure how long I was supposed to wait,â she says with her eyes down at your feet.
âItâsââ your voice cracks and you quickly cough to clear your throat. âItâs alright, I was just about to knock.â
âRight,â she says quietly before pausing. A few very awkward seconds go by before she speaks up. âDid you want to come in?â she asks, and it sounds just as awkward as the silence.
âI was wondering if you were free to talk about some stuff,â you ask. âIf youâre not busy, of course.â
She steps aside.
âThanks,â you step in and kick off your shoes as IU closes the door behind you. âI wasââ youâre cut off short as IU flings her body into yours, winding you in the process.
âIâve missed you so much,â she squeezes your body tight, âIâm sorry, I know youâre probably just here for your stuff, but Iâveââ
âI also missed you,â you interject calmly, far more calmly than your emotions should probably be capable of, and a single tear spilling down your cheek as your hands land on her back.
After you eventually let go of each other, the look she gives you feels like a gunshot straight through your heart. You didnât really know what to expect or how youâd react after seeing her again in person, but you certainly didnât expect it to feel like this.
Itâs absolutely suffocating. Just holding her hips and staring into her eyes again, itâs paralyzing, like pure venom being injected into your veins.
Why are you holding her hips?
You quickly fix that and let go, but you donât stop staring into her eyes. You canât see the girl that hurt you. Not even a shadow nor a glimpse of her.
All you can see is the girl you fell in love with: The girl youâve been dreaming about and missing more than anything in the world for the last week. Sheâs here. Sheâs real. Youâre right in front of her.
Youâre forgetting to breathe.
âSorry,â IU shakes her head and quickly wipes her eyes. âYou said you wanted to talk?â
Words escape you, all you can do is nod and fight the knot in your throat. She turns around and starts walking, and you follow after her, wiping your cheek as you walk. She pulls out a chair for you before taking a seat across the dining table.
A flush of warmth shoots through your skin. You absolutely hate your mind right now because all you can think about is how many times youâve taken IU on this exact table. Nowâs not the right time, but this stupid fucking flashbackâ
âCoffee? Tea? Anything at all?â
âNo, Iâm fine,â you answer while taking a seat, mentally shaking away the vision of IUâs nude body sprawled across the wooden tabletop. âHow, umm, how have you been?â
She shuffles nervously in her chair and crosses her hands, laying them on the table. She tilts her head just a little bit and flashes a small, awkward smile.
âIâve been better.â
You purse your lips into a strained smile of your own.
âCanât say Iâm doing much better myself,â you admit quietly.
The conversation takes a bit of a pause. IU uncrosses her fingers, drumming them against the table, while you awkwardly glance around the room. Itâs so familiar, but it also feels so foreign now. You canât help but see little flashes of the time you and IU have shared. The little conversations, the good morning kisses, the coffee sips, they all come flooding back in.
Thereâs also the sex. Despite how hard youâre trying to ignore it, everywhere you look reminds you of it. Bent over the counter, legs up on your shoulders, you see your memories coming to life in real time. Itâs painful to say the least.
âWould you actually be okay with making this less formal?â IU asks timidly, breaking the silence. âI understand if you say no, I donât want to make this uncomfortable.â
âLess formal how?â
âI donât know,â she shrugs. âThis just feels like an interview, the way weâre sitting here.â
âWe can move, thatâs fine.â
âBedroom?â she suggests. âActually, thatâs probably too intimate since weâve⊠yeahâŠâ
âSince weâve had sex in there? Thereâs really no need to be like that, weâve fucked in almost every room of this house at this point.â
Sheâs a bit taken aback by your comment.
âSorry, that was incredibly inappropriate of me to sayââ
âNo, actually,â she cuts you off softly. âIâve been thinking about it as well, I wonât lie.â
She flashes you another pained smile.
âCome on,â you stand up. âI agree, this feels like weâre about to sign work contracts.â
âWork contractsâŠâ IU repeats quietly as she stands up.
Your throat tightens immediately. That was entirely unintentional. What you want to say is âno, I didnât mean it like thatâ, but you canât. Like, physically, you canât speak. Itâs taking a frightening amount of physical and mental control to hold back fresh tears, so speaking isnât exactly an option right now.
Instead, you just silently walk with IU through the hallways. Sheâs obviously trying to avoid looking in your direction â itâs probably for the best â and the walk feels incredibly uncomfortable. Youâre pretending not to notice the fact that sheâs also very clearly on the verge of tears.
As the two of you arrive at her bedroom door, you stop walking and reach for the handle.
âNot in there,â IU grabs your wrist.
âHmm?â you raise your eyebrows.
She shakes her head and guides you down the hall to the second bedroom. Inside, there are clothes sprawled all over the floor, random unorganized piles scattered throughout the room, a complete mess. In the middle of the room, a full-sized bed covered in pillows.
âI havenât been able to fall asleep in the old one,â IU explains.
âWeâll have to get this organized,â you comment casually as you follow IU to the bed. âYou canât live in these conditions, come on. Youâre IU, not homeless.â
âHomeless? Do you have any idea how much these piles are worth?â she laughs.
Hearing that definitely brought back memories.
âMore than my entire net worth, Iâm sure, and I also know theyâre probably worth more after you wear them.â
You really gotta stop making these types of comments, your brain just keeps forgetting youâre not together anymore.
âGreat business idea,â she walks over to the bed and pushes the pillows aside to make room. âBut I could never.â
You join her at the bed. âWhy not?â you lay down next to her.
âBecause,â she turns to her side, resting her head against her hand, a small twinkle in her eyes. âIâll never do anything like that again.â
âThatâsâŠâ your words falter and you let out a sigh. âNot really the same thing, and also I wasnât trying to implyâŠâ
âItâs close enough, and I donât ever want to feel that way again.â
You stare at her, really get a proper look at her, for a moment before responding.
âI canât help but feel like itâs not really my business either way, not anymore. And it was just a very out of touch jokeââ
âWhy isnât it?â she asks, tone a bit harsher than probably either of you expected, spilling out a bit of the hurt behind her words.
You take a second to think about it before answering truthfully.
âI donât want to say I donât care what you do. Honestly, because I do.â
âWhy are you saying that like itâs a bad thing?â
âBecause, weâre not⊠weâre not a thing anymore.â
âI get that,â she raises her voice before catching herself and calming back down and trying again. âI get that, but we donât have to⊠you can still care about these things.â
âI didnât come here to reignite our relationship, Iâm sorry if I gave you the impression that I was.â
âIâm not asking you to take me back!â she raises her voice again but this time doesnât correct herself. âIâm just⊠I donât know⊠I guess I still want you to care?â
âItâs not that I donât caââ
âSo why did you come back?â
âUh,â your mind goes blank again.
âIs it for your stuff? I donât believe it for a second. We both know I couldâve had it delivered, or you couldâve just picked it up when I wasnât home, or I couldâve just sent you enough money to replace it all⊠or⊠or⊠yeahâŠâ she quickly blinks back tears before sighing deeply and wiping her face. âIâm being a fucking idiot. You obviously came back to get your stuff, that is totally and completely reasonableâŠâ
You donât respond. Not because you donât want to, rather you simply donât know how. You didnât really think it through, what it would feel like to be face to face with her again, and itâs brutally obvious how unprepared you are.
âLook,â IU sighs deeply and her face burns bright red. âCan we restart this conversation? Iâm really sorry for getting so emotional, itâs just been really tough.â
âItâs been tough for me as well, please donât apologize,â you say. âI get it, this is difficult for me as well, even if it doesnât look like it.â
âIt does.â
You recoil a bit, not expecting the response.
âI just mean your eyes,â IU explains, âtheyâre a bit red.â
âAh, right, must be allergies.â
She lets out a little exhale and smiles at you, that familiar smile, the one that always makes you feel a bit fuzzy inside.
âLook, I donât really know what I want to happen,â you start slowly, âbut I just felt like I needed to come and talk to you.â
âOh,â her eyelids flutter and her lips quiver. âWell, youâre here now.â
âYeah,â you reply awkwardly. âIâm here.â
âYou are.â
âI am.â
âRight,â she purses her lips and looks away.
Itâs so fucking awkward, you hate this. You hate this so much. You want to just run away, get out and never look back, but your brain has other plans. After all, youâre already hereâŠ
âI thinkâŠâ you mumble, âdo you think⊠fuck this is really difficult.â
âWhat is?â she turns back to you with curiosity and concern â maybe a bit of fear as well.
Itâs stupid, youâre not even sure if you want what youâre thinking, and youâre even less sure if you should bring it up. The truth is, you want her. Youâve been mulling it over for a week now, if you could ever accept it back, if she would even want you back, and honestly youâve been unsure.
Until now. Thereâs this feeling, this inescapable feeling, youâre not sure how to make sense of it. What you do know is that it feels like the right thing to do. You donât even know if youâd ever fight for a relationship the way you feel like you should fight for IU.
Oddly enough, youâre not even scared of the risk. Your gut isnât just telling you not to be scared, itâs convincing you that thereâs nothing to be scared of in the first place. Itâs illogical to say the least. On paper, she broke your trust, but your mind isnât as fixed as you thought it would be.
Youâre struggling to make sense of it, but maybe you donât have to? Maybe you can just trust your body, trust your gut, maybe it just knows something and sees something youâre missing.
Or itâs a huge mistake.
Then again, youâre already here.
âDo you think that maybe, maybe we should try again?â you canât believe how fucking stupid it sounds as it leaves your mouth.
IU is equally as shocked, apparently. Sheâs staring at you, and youâre pretty sure you can hear her heart beating. You canât remember the last time youâve been this nervous⊠maybe the first time you met her?
âAre you serious?â IU finally responds.
âI know it might be a mistake,â you consider your words carefully. âBut I canât help but feel walking away would be an even bigger one.â
âThatâsââ she stops to cough and clears her throat. âThatâs absolutely insane.â
Your heart sinks.
âBut if youâre serious, I feel the exact same way,â IU clarifies quickly.
Suddenly, your heartâs racing. Youâre feeling a little lightheaded, and youâre actively trying to control your breathing.
âI know,â IU offers a kind smile, âI feel the same.â
âIs this⊠a mistake?â
âIt might be,â IU admits. âBut Iâm willing to risk it if you are.â
You hesitate and take a proper look at her.
âFuck it, baby steps, letâs see what happens?â
â
âIâm glad the food ended up decent, I havenât been here in a while,â IU smiles across the table.
âFor some reason, I didnât think youâd actually do it,â you drop your spoon into the glass ramekin and lean back.
âYou think it was too much?â
âNormally, yeah,â you chuckle. âBut youâre IU, that kinda changes things. I canât say I have much experience being on dates with girls who can afford to book a whole restaurant.â
âHonestly, itâs more status than money,â she laughs as she licks her spoon clean.
âStill as hot as I thought it would be. Actually, that might just make it more attractive.â
âIâve actually been thinking about it ever since you brought it up, just never got around to planning it.â
âHey now, if I remember correctly, youâre the one who suggested it.â
âOnly because you were obviously bored of my dining table.â
âOh trust me, I never got bored of your dining table.â
IU tilts her head back and laughs. The sound is more precious than anything in the world right now, and sheâs absolutely glowing under the dim, candlelit glimmer. As her laugh dies down, youâre both left smiling at each other.
âMaybe Iâm not supposed to say this,â IU begins softly. âBut this feels incredibly natural.â
âOf course you can say it, and I agree,â you respond. âHonestly, I never would have expected it to go this well.â
âOh.â
âNo, not like, I just meantââ
âRelax, I know what you mean,â IU giggles. âI guess Iâm just pleasantly surprised.â
âWe probably shouldnât get too ahead of ourselves though, right?â
âNo, I agree,â IU nods and her smile slowly fades. âDo you think we should talk about what happened?â
âRight now? You think?â
âThe staff is still cleaning up, I donât think itâs too inconsiderate for us to stay a bit longer? At least until theyâre done with the dishes,â she gestures towards the open-concept kitchen behind you.
âIâm sure theyâd stay open all night if you asked.â
âYouâre probably right,â she flashes a brief smile before her expression drops once more. She bites her lip and furrows her brows. âI see the face youâre making.â
âIf we want any chance of this to work, I know we have to talk about it eventuallyâŠâ
âBut youâve been having a good night so far,â she purses her lips. âI know, trust me, I wish we could just enjoy it for what it isâŠâ
âUnfortunately, we canât,â you sigh, âIâm aware itâs not possible.â
âIt might be, but I just think itâs probably best to rip the bandaid off?â
âYouâre probably right,â you agree, suddenly feeling a bit nervous. âWell, umâŠâ
IU smiles warmly and nods, and she waits for you to continue.
âIt obviously hurt, finding out what you did,â you admit. âI donât think thatâs a secret though.â
âNo,â IU responds softly. âI picked up on that much.â
âBut also, regardless of how I felt in the moment, I treated you like absolute shit that night.â
âItâs justified, what I did wasââ
âNo,â you interrupt. âItâs not justified, that was awful of me and it doesnât reflect how I feel or think about you at all. I am so, so incredibly sorry about how things went down.â
âThatâs not fair,â her voice shakes. âIâm the one whoâs in the wrong, not you.â
âThat doesnât mean what I did was fair, I donât know what got into me. I never would have believed I could treat someone like that, let alone someone I loved.â
Her lower lip begins to quiver. Her eyes well up, but no tears fall. She sniffles once, blinks a couple times, and takes a deep breath.
âYou know,â IU starts steadily. âEverything that went down that night, everything you said to me, about me, I never felt like you went too far or that it wasnât justified.â
âIt wasnâtââ
âPlease just listen to me,â she cuts you off and takes another deep breath, continuing after you give her a nod. âI knew what I did was unforgivable. I knew it the moment it happened. Iâm not justifying it, Iâm simply explaining it,â she takes another deep breath. âI donât know how to explain what it felt like. I felt like I had no option, truly, the amount of pressure cannot be explained.â
You wait patiently for her to finish, never once breaking eye contact.
âI had a realization after it happened, I knew right there before I even told you that I just made the biggest mistake of my life, but it was too late,â IU continues. âI realized the contract didnât matter, not more than you. Not even close.â
Your throat tightens.
âI never finished the deal, not that it changes anything obviously,â she quickly wipes her eyes with her napkin. âProbably the most important deal of my entire career, but I let it goââ
âWhy?â your voice comes out scratchy.
âRegret? I guess?â she shrugs and lets out a little pitiful laugh. âI felt the most empty inside that I have ever felt in my life, I didnât care anymore. Didnât really want that reminder.â
Sounds familiar.
âPlease donât take it the wrong way, Iâm not saying it undoes what I did,â she picks up her spoon from earlier and grips it until her knuckles turn white. âNothing ever will, I understand that.â
âI didnât sayâŠâ you mumble as your gaze drops to her hand.
âWe both know youâre thinking it, and, for what itâs worth, I donât even disagree,â she smiles through the obvious pain. âI donât deserve forgiveness, I know that.â
You look up into her eyes again, at a loss for words.
âAnd then, the most insane part of it all, the part I literally couldnât talk to anyone about even if I wanted to,â IU says as a tear falls down her face. âThe way you took me, used me, it⊠fuck this is embarrasing⊠I loved it.â
Your leg jolts, slamming into the table and earning you a few curious glances from the kitchen. IU ignores it completely, still locked on your eyes as you cough and clear your throat.
âThatâs right,â IU whispers, leaning forward on the table. âI havenât been able to stop thinking about it. To stop craving it. Nothing even comes close.â
âIâm⊠are youâŠâ
âMaybe thatâs why I didnât feel like it wasnât justified,â she says slowly and deliberately. âBecause I fucking loved it, I couldnât even think straight.â
Youâre at an absolute loss for words, just frozen in place, staring at her. Youâre not entirely sure if this is real.
âI know you enjoyed it,â she leans back in her chair again. âUsing me, fucking me to tears and then some. Did you not?â
Sheâs right. You obviously feel terrible, but thereâs truth to what sheâs saying. She knows it, too, thereâs no point in denying it.
âMaybe I did,â you answer, trying to keep your voice low enough to avoid the staff. âBut are you sure you wanna talk about this here?â
âNo, I donât want to talk about it here,â IU continues a bit too casually for your liking, âI want you to come back to my place and take me again.â
Your heart drops. Surely, you misheard her. Thereâs no way.
âThat is such a bad idea for so many reasonsââ
âWhy?â she interjects firmly.
âBecauseâŠâ you stammer before quickly freezing.
There are a million reasons in your head screaming that this is a bad idea, but for some reason you canât come up with a single one. Itâs the pressure, she put you on the spot, thatâs it. Just because you canât think of a reason, it doesnât mean there isnât one.
Right?
âEven if our relationship is broken beyond repair,â she continues calmly â maybe a bit too calmly, â we know for a fact weâre compatible physically. Whatâs stopping you? Iâm telling you straight up, I want it.â
âIf anything, just for your own self respectââ
âI donât care!â she slams her hand on the table, indifferent to all the stares coming from the kitchen. âEven if this doesnât work out, I know damn well you want to fuck me at least one last time. So, do it. Let it all out on me. Whatâs there to lose?â
This canât be real. This girl is clinically insane.
You can feel your heart beating in the back of your throat, itâs consuming you. It almost feels like youâre about to faint, or throw up, or both, or just die on the spot.
Yet, for reasons that you canât explain, youâre seriously considering it.
Just walk away, donât play this game, nothing good can come of it. The date never should have happened in the first place.
If you accept and things donât work out, those scars will never heal. If you thought it was bad before, itâll be worse.
Why are you still considering it?
Is she even serious?
That look, so unwavering, thereâs not a doubt in your mind sheâs serious.
But why? How? She has to also know this is an awful idea, right?
Honestly, sex has crossed your mind a few times tonight. Like when she put on that dress. Or throughout the dinner whenever she would laugh. Youâve been considering it a possibility. The fucked up part of your mind has secretly been wishing for something like this, to take IU at least one last time, even if she hurt you.
Just, not like this. Out of all the times youâve fucked IU, all the ways she could want you to take her again, you never in a million years thought she would want to go through it again like that night.
Do you even have it in you?
Look at her. Sheâs unabashedly beautiful. Do you really have the ability to be that rough with her again? To use her like⊠what was the word? âFuckmeatâ? Thereâs no way.
But you didnât even know you had it in you the first time.
âFuck,â you mumble under your breath.
â
Itâs obviously a mistake.
Before you even comprehend what youâve really agreed to, you find yourself sitting in IUâs car driving felony speeds back to her place â itâs a miracle youâre not sitting in a jail cell right this moment. You park in the middle of the driveaway and run to the door.
As soon as you walk in, shoes and jackets go flying off in random directions and you both rush towards the bedroom. Everything is such a blur ever since you left the restaurant and this is no different.
âIâve already cleared my entire day tomorrow,â IU says as she tosses her phone aside. âIf needed, Iâll clear the next as well.â
You enter the familiar bedroom behind her, a bit surprised to see itâs exactly how you remember it. The only real difference is when you walk up to the bed and see IUâs assortment of toys spread across the sheets.
âNone of them felt the same, unfortunately,â she picks up one of the plugs and admires it. âThat craving, that lust you left me with. I havenât been able to forget that night, and how it felt to be used in that way. Iâve tried, trust me, itâs all I use this room for now.â
âIâŠâ
âIâve always been the one in control,â she continues, placing the plug back into the case and setting it aside. âYouâre the only person Iâve ever been with who was willing to use me,â she turns and stares you directly in the eyes. âWhat was it that you called me? Fuckmeat? Everyoneâs fuckmeat?â
âI didnâtââ
âDonât you fucking dare get soft on me now,â she reaches forward and grabs you by the balls. âYou broke me that night. Did you know that? I felt pleasure that I didnât know existed. And youâre going to do it again. Youâre going to break me.â
You donât even know how to respond. Is there even a response fitting? You still think this is probably a huge mistake. It doesnât help that all the blood in your body is rushing between your legs, making it difficult to make sense of much other than how hard sheâs gripping your balls.
âThat face youâre making,â IU laughs at you. âYou think Iâm an absolute freak.â
âA bit, yeah,â you groan.
âThatâs right,â she digs her nails into your balls. âSay what youâre thinking.â
âI donâtâŠâ you squirm as her grip tightens. âI donât knowââ
âYou loved calling me one that night,â she whispers as she leans closer to your face. âSay it. Say what you said that night.â
âIU, youâreâŠâ you reach for her wrist but her grip tightens. âFucking let go, please!â
âSay it.â
âLet go of me you fucking slut!â you gasp.
She immediately lets go and you drop down to your knees. IU, smiling ear to ear, crouches down as well and wipes the tear off your cheek as you massage the sharp pain between your legs.
âYellow means pause, red means stop,â she says calmly. âMakes sense?â
âWhat?â
âIf I say âyellowâ, it means youâre pushing too far,â she clarifies. âIf I say âredâ, we stop. Same goes for you, obviously. Got it?â
âY-Yeah,â you nod, still recovering, still feeling like she was a second away from popping your balls in her hand.
âGood,â IU grabs your face and forces you to look into her sharp, unwavering eyes. âUnless one of us says the word, from now on, until we leave this room, Iâm your slut.â
Slowly, you get up from your knees, staring at IU the entire time as she stays put on the ground, looking up at you. She sits there patiently, waiting for you.
You cup her cheek with your hand and look down at her. âIs this really what you want?â you ask softly. âLast chance to back out, we can forgetââ
âWe live in the moment,â she says firmly. âForget the past, forget the future. Itâs just you, me, and whatever happens in this room tonight.â
âNo one else in the entire world ever hears about tonight. No matter what happens after.â
âNo one,â she repeats. âAnd this has no bearing on what happens, weâll figure everything else out together.â
âOkay,â you take a deep breath.
âUnless I say the word, I promise I can take it,â she whispers, determined. âDo anything you want with me. Donât hold back.â
âAlright,â you glide your palm across her cheek slowly. âJust promise me if itâs too much, if I hit your limit, youâll say the word, alright?â
âYou wonâtââÂ
Her words get cut short as you swiftly bring your palm across her face, the slap echoing through the bedroom. Sheâs holding her cheek, looking up at you in shock as she slumps to the floor.
But you can see it in her eyes â itâs excitement.
âDonât get ahead of yourself,â you say calmly, grabbing her hair and sitting her up onto her knees again. You yank her hair so that her neck bends backwards, face pointed directly up at you. âDonât get overconfident, now.â
âIâm not,â her voice cracks from the anticipation.
âAre you nervous?â you step over her body and grab her face with both hands. âYouâre shaking.â
âNo.â
âGood,â you stare down at her. âI donât want you to be nervous. I want you to be my⊠whatâs the word again?â
âYour slut,â she mumbles in response.
You bring your palm to her cheek again, not nearly as hard as the first time, itâs mostly performative. âI didnât hear you,â you release her face and tug her hair once more, holding her in position.
âYour slut,â she repeats with vigor.
âBetter,â you say softly, giving her hair a small tug, craning her head back farther. You open your mouth slightly, building up a bit of spit before letting it drop directly onto IUâs face â she flinches hard and shuts her eyes as the spit hits her skin. âMy dirty little slut, oh how Iâve missed you.â
âAnd now Iâm yours, only yours,â IU replies, ignoring the spit sliding down her face.
âNot yet,â you let go of her hair and let her crumple to the floor in front of you. âTake off that dress first. Itâs far too pretty for a slut like you.â
The corners of her lips curl up just enough for you to notice, but she quickly controls herself. She knows better than to show how much she wants this, she has to keep up the act â itâs only the beginning.
As soon as she begins to stand up, sheâs shoved back down to the floor, landing on her knees with her hands holding her up.
âI said strip, not stand.â
She pauses, glaring up at you in disbelief as her chest heaves up and down with each sharp breath passing through her. For a second, it almost looks like sheâs debating her choices â as if she has any.
âSorry,â she gets off her hands and bows her head down before slowly taking off her dress.
You walk right up in front of her, crotch in her face, and rest a hand on the top of her head. âGood girl,â you run your fingers through her hair. âLetâs not make any mistakes when it comes to listening, alright?â
She nods up at you as you rip the dress away from her and toss it aside, leaving her in nothing but a matching pair of underwear.
âMatching lingerie?â you comment, squeezing her cheeks between your fingers. âAnd look how soaked your panties are.â
Itâs true, theyâre practically dripping. You let go of her face and reach for her bra, tearing the fabric off her skin and tossing it aside, indifferent to how much the fancy set probably cost. You give her a look, and she understands immediately, removing her panties as quickly as possible.
You hold your hand out and she hands them to you. Then, you press the soaked garment to her face, rubbing her against her skin a bit before pushing against her lips. She opens her mouth and lets you stuff the panties in while breathing deeply through her nose.
After admiring her puffed out cheeks for a moment, giving them a small pat, you unbutton your shirt and pull it over your head, tossing it aside. You gesture towards your belt and wait as IU reaches up to undo your belt. Your pants and underwear drop down to your ankles together and you kick them aside.
IUâs saliva starts spilling out the corners of her lips, through the soaked panties, and dripping down onto her chest. You smirk down at her as you grab your cock and plop it down on her forehead.
âI can see it in your eyes, so desperate, so pathetic,â you taunt as you press your cock against her face, rubbing it all over. âI guess I shouldnât keep you waiting too long,â you sigh before reaching down and easing the panties out of her mouth.
A fresh wave of spit flows freely down her chin and onto her body, but she makes no effort to wipe it away. She lets the mess build up, indifferent to it all, waiting for you with an open mouth.
Before tossing the panties aside, you wipe them across her face again, spreading her spit all over. Then, you slip two fingers into her mouth and let her suck them clean, pushing deeper until you feel her gag. You withdraw your hand, tapping your index and thumb together to admire the strands of spit connecting between them.
You give yourself a couple of strokes, wetting your shaft with her spit, and then you take the base of your cock in your hand again and slap it against her cheek, watching her shut her eyes and her head recoil. You do it a couple more times before bringing your cock towards her mouth. She opens wide, as wide as she can, and you press forward until your entire cock is in her mouth.
At first, she shows obvious signs of struggle, but you ignore them as you grab the back of her head, forcing your cock deeper down her throat. You push and push until her nose is pressed flat against your crotch, and then you push more. You can feel the tension, her whole body is tight and flexed as she desperately tries to open her mouth wider.
After holding your cock down her neck for a few seconds, you let go completely, letting her back up all the way and catch her breath.
She collapses to the floor, hunched over on her hands and knees, coughing and spitting all over the hardwood beneath her. Each subsequent cough is more violent than the last.
You step in front of her to close the gap and spin a ball of her hair around your fist as tight as possible before yanking her head backwards. The intent, however, is not to hurt her; Itâs still mostly just for show, in reality youâre a lot more delicate than it would look like from a spectator. The real goal is to gauge how sheâs doing.
As you stare into her crimson, tear-soaked eyes, you get your answer. Sheâs not just enjoying the treatment, sheâs desperate for it. You can read her perfectly, you see that glint behind her pupils. If she could beg you to keep pushing, she would â but that would ruin the illusion.
And she has no interest in that.
No, none at all. Not while youâre in this room with her. This room, sheâs made exceedingly transparent, is not for soft love. Itâs not even for rough sex. This room is for the highest level of deprivation, a place where Koreaâs princess is reduced to nothing more than an object of your pleasure.
Then, as if you need more confirmation, IU winks at you and lets the corner of her lip twitch in the most subtle way possible. Thatâs it. Outside of the safewords, thatâs as far as IU will threaten the facade. She quickly composes herself, staring up at you obediently, waiting for you to do whatever you want with her next.
âI donât remember you struggling so much before,â you say casually as if itâs an everyday act while letting go of her hair and letting her slump back to the floor.
âYouâve never gone that deep before,â IU croaks, quickly coughing to clear her voice.
You crouch down in front of her and lift her head by the chin so that youâre face to face. Carefully, you run your hand against the side of her cheek until your palm is flat against it. Then, in one swift motion, you let your palm recoil before bringing it down against her.
âWhy the fuck do you think you can talk back to me?â you ask, as calmly as possible.
âSorryââ
âNo,â you rise to your feet again. âThatâs not how you apologize.â
She looks up at you and her mouth instinctively opens.
âThatâs the little slut I know,â you smile down at her. âGlad to see you havenât forgotten your favorite trick.â
This time, she knows to stay silent â and she does exactly that. She sits there on her knees, mouth open wide, eyes fixed on yours, waiting. She would take anything from you right now, in any way you give it to her. Her desires are only what you want from her, nothing else.
You step closer and grab her head with both hands before easing your soaked cock into her mouth.
âDonât close your eyes this time,â you say softly as you push in again. âLoosen up that fucking throat, weâre not stopping until you can take it all. Cock and balls.â
While making sure not to rush, you let your tip slowly ease in and prod the back of her neck before you pull back. Each movement is slow and calculated. You pull back until just your tip is inside her mouth. After waiting for a second for IU to hollow out her cheeks and give your hole a few licks, you ease back in, still moving excruciatingly slowly.
You repeat the movement a few more times, making sure sheâs entirely comfortable taking your entire length with each thrust. Youâre still moving carefully, pushing your hips and pulling her head simultaneously, but now youâre starting to speed up just a bit; Enough for your balls to swing into her chin.
Slowly but surely, sheâs getting comfortable. The little flinch whenever your cock hits her throat doesnât exist anymore. She can take it easily now. Thrust by thrust, the resistance disappears, and an excessive amount of her spit begins dripping off her chin, adding to the mess that she refuses to wipe.
The only sign of struggle shows when you give her one final thrust, doubling the strength of it. You smile as she flinches, shutting her eyes tight for just a split second before blinking the tears out of them.
âThatâs the little slut I remember,â you ease your cock out of her lips and rest it flat against her face again.
She takes the moment to gasp for air, but you only give her that short moment of reprieve before pressing her balls against her lips.
âThese next,â you say, pressing them against her mouth. âKiss them. Show my balls how much you love them.â
Of course, she obliges and immediately presses her lips into your balls. Sheâs thorough, making sure to plant a hundred little kisses, not missing a single spot. At the same time, she reaches her hand up and wraps it around your shaft, using her fingers to slowly rub your tip in a little circular motion.
âOpen up,â you instruct, grabbing her hair again, batting her hand away.
She tilts her head back and opens her mouth as wide as it can go, and you slip it back in. You bend your knees a bit, pushing deeper until your cock is fully engulfed by her mouth once more.
âWider,â you grunt, slapping her cheek.
She strains her jaw, taking it all the way to her physical limit. Saliva is spilling out the corners of her mouth freely, sheâs making little gagging noises, but sheâs still fighting to open her jaw as per your command.
You push your hips forward slowly, feeling it out until thereâs just enough room for your balls to slip into her mouth. You hold steady with cock and balls both fully inside IUâs mouth and watch as her face drains of color slowly.
Her whole body is tensing up again and tears start spilling from her eyes, but she stays as composed as she can. She ignores the teardrops sliding down her face adding to the mess on her body, and she ignores the suffocation while she waits obediently for you.
After a couple of seconds, you release her completely, a little bit worried that she actually canât breathe.
She drops down to her hands and knees, gasping for breath, and this time you let her. You give her a minute where all you do is simply admire her body. So slim and clear, tiny yet so capable, the most beautiful girl youâve ever seen, gasping for breath after choking on your cock.
âUp,â you instruct, and when she takes just a second too long to react, you crouch down and bring your palm to her cheek again â this time you actually put a bit of force into it, enough to at least leave a little sting.
You grab her head with both hands and move your hips forwards. She opens up and lets you push your cock halfway into her mouth.
Youâre staring down at her, mouth spread around your shaft. With both thumbs, you wipe the corners of her eyes, then you grab her head once more and start pumping your cock into her mouth.
She lets out a muffled squeal before relaxing her body and letting you fuck her face with ease. Thereâs almost no resistance now, your cock is sliding freely all the way into her throat. She takes it and takes it, never pulling away, just sitting there on her knees with her mouth stuffed.
After giving her a few rougher-than-normal pumps, you stop. You hold your cock halfway in her mouth again before dropping another glob of spit onto her face. She recoils, but with the grip you have on her hair, she canât move much. You let another one land on her face before slowly easing your cock out of her.
You ball her hair up in one hand while grabbing your base with the other. You give her a quick yank towards you and start smearing your spit across her face with your cock. Every inch, you make sure every single inch of her pretty little face is glistening with your saliva, only then do you bring your cock to her lips again.
She opens up and you enter back in. This time, you turn to the side and push against the inside of her cheek. You push hard, stretching her face out as far as it goes. Then, you give her a few pumps, admiring the bulge.
After fucking one side, you pull back and give her cheek a slap before doing the other. Youâre rough, holding her hair firmly to keep her in place despite how much her face is being stretched. You can feel the tug against her scalp.
Once youâre content with the other side, you center yourself again and press hard into her throat. You grab her head and shove it back and forth against your cock, keeping your hips steady in place. You keep going, on and on, ignoring her gagging, ignoring all the spit flowing from her lips.
You can see her starting to lose strength, and the second you let go of her she collapses back to the floor, hunched over on all fours sobbing softly, desperately catching her breath.
âYou look so good, bent over like that,â you start pumping your cock slowly. âThatâs what I want next, bent over just like that.â
She looks up and nods, ignoring the tears in her eyes, and begins climbing onto the bed.
âNot on there,â you grab her waist from behind and push her down to her knees, accidentally slamming her against the side of the bed. âFirst, you have to earn it.â
âHow?â she turns back to look at you over her shoulder, quietly rubbing her side where her body hit the bed frame.
That one felt bad, truthfully, you have a feeling it really hurt. Youâre so close to apologizing, and it must show on your face because IU can see right through you. She shoots you a look, one that tells you that if you even think about apologizing right now, sheâd probably murder you.
Thereâs an uncanny level of understanding between the two of you. She seems to understand exactly what youâre thinking, and you feel like you understand exactly what sheâs thinking. Silent communication, yet still so apprehensible.
So, you let it go, quietly making a mental note to be a little more careful with her.
Instead of apologizing, you bring your palm to her ass, the loud crack ripping through the air. âHow do you think?â you say as you spread her with one hand. You slide your thumb back and forth against her tight little asshole. âI donât even want to know how many people have used this now.â
âNo one,â IU snaps, turning around fully to glare at you, this time thereâs real anger behind her eyes. âOnly you.â
âIs that so? Should I believe you again? Itâs been a whole week, for all I knowââ
âYellow,â she mutters.
You lean back.
She quietly wipes the corner of her eye. âIâm fine, go as hard as you can, even if itâs in my ass.â
âThen whyââ
âJust please donât talk about anyone else touching me. Donât even imply it,â she explains, genuine tears pooling up in her eyes.
Her expression feels like a dagger, straight through your heart. You feel your heart rate hasten.
It hurts so much to see, because these arenât the same tears. These arenât the tears that come out when sheâs gagging on your cock or when you bring your palm to her soft skin. These are real. Emotional pain that is far worse than anything you could ever do to her physically.
âIâm sorry,â you reach forward to wipe her eyes but she bats your arm away.
âThatâs it,â she snaps at you. âNow, slap me, hard.â
âIU-â
âDonât you fucking dare stop,â she says, tone sharp â a bit scary, even. âHard. Now.â
Without thinking, you obey. The sound of your palm on her face echoes through the bedroom, followed up by a soft whimper. You take a deep breath, collecting your thoughts and preparing to get back into the right mindset.
Sheâs holding her cheek as the skin reddens, breathing heavily through an open mouth. Then, she moves her hand away and looks you right into the eyes.
âAgain.â
Thatâs one way to get back into it, but thereâs a nagging feeling in the back of your mind and youâre still a bit worried about hurting her.
So, instead of striking her face again, you grab her and spin her around, bending her over the edge of the bed.
âYou donât get to choose what I do,â you hiss before slapping her ass, and again, and then another three or four times. You figure this will satisfy her without really hurting her. The skin is still burning hot though, and you give her one last â slightly harder â spank before gripping her ass with both hands.
This is where you feel your body tense up. Youâre lined up right behind her, tip pressed against her tight little asshole, but youâre frozen.
That night a week ago, youâre back.
The way she screamed when you took her in the ass. That beautiful, angel-like voice of hers, twisted into that blood-curling shriek.
You canât do it.
A tear slips down your cheek before you even realize youâre crying.
IU begins to turn her head to look over her shoulder, but you quickly bring your palm down to her ass where itâs already burning red hot.
âImpatient fucking slut, who said you can turn around?â you say firmly despite the tears spilling from your eyes.
âSorry,â she moans, giving her hips a slight wiggle against your cock.
You take in a deep breath and wipe your face dry.
âBeg for it,â you mumble quietly under your breath.
âIâm sorry, I didnât hearââ
âI said fucking beg for it,â your palm echoes against her ass again.
âPlease,â she whimpers.
âPlease what?â you say, but you can hardly hear your own words over the sound of your heart beating in your ears.
âPlease fuck me in the ass!â she cries out.
You canât do it.
Your grip on her ass falters and you back your hips up. Your mindâs racing, trying to find a solution, trying to keep the facade alive for her sake.
âNo,â you say softly before standing up and stepping onto the bed. âYou donât get what you want tonight.â
IU, while still bent over the edge of the bed, watches you intently. Sheâs visibly confused, but you can see the trust in her eyes.
âCome here my little slut,â you spread your legs wide and make room and wait for her to crawl up to you. Then, you grab the back of her head aggressively and pull her into a kiss.
Even after it all, she still tastes as sweet as you remember. For a moment, you close your eyes and forget where you are, forget the history behind the room, and all you think about is how IU makes you feel; However, the moment doesnât last long. As soon as the kiss ends, the feeling fades and you let IU revert back to being your glorified cocksleeve once more.
âAlright,â you sit up with your back against the headboard. âThis is your only chance to cum.â
Her eyes light up.
âDonât waste time,â you reach up and lay your palm slowly against her cheek, admiring the face she makes as she waits for the slap that never comes. Instead, you just give her a tiny pat before lifting your arms up behind your head. âBe a good little slut and ride my cock. Work for what you want.â
She quickly lifts up one leg, more determined than ever, and reaches down for your cock. She lines your tip with her entrance before looking back up at you and placing both hands on your shoulders.
You feel your cock slowly spread her open as she moves inch by inch all the way down. An overwhelming urge shoots through your body, and all you want to do is grab her hips and fuck the absolute life out of her â but you hold back.
All you do is watch intently, keeping eye contact the whole time as IU carefully lifts her body up and then back down. That tight squeeze, she engulfs your cock in warmth, using her hips to absolute perfection.
She keeps it slow, deliberate, and eye contact unwavering. Every inch of your cock being used, felt, and appreciated inside her as her expression slowly softens. All the pain quietly washes away with each bounce on your cock.
Itâs obvious when you look past the mascara you ruined earlier that sheâs desperately fighting the mental whiplash youâre giving her â from the intensity earlier to this, she obviously wasnât prepared. Sheâs still very clearly hesitant to let loose completely.
Still, her pace quickens, mouth hanging agape now, and she finally allows little moans to escape her. She lets her guard down just a bit, but she knows at any second you can rip the moment away from her.
Then, to confirm what she already knows, you reach your arm around her body and slap her ass hard before digging both hands into her cheeks.
She gasps, but keeps riding, even adding small circles with her hips now.
Her pussy is squeezing tighter, leaking all over your thighs. You can tell sheâs getting close â as if the moans werenât enough of a giveaway. Her body feels fucking amazing now, and soon youâre also finding yourself dangerously close.
Out of nowhere, a fresh wave of emotion shoots through your spine. Your face burns up, and as you watch IU with her eyes closed about to cum on your cock, you just feel a sudden urge to cry again.
But you canât. Not right now.
You dig your fingers into her hips and quickly spin her around so that sheâs laying flat on her back. Your cock slips out of her and her eyes shoot open. Sheâs breathing heavily, chest heaving up and down as she stares at you in disbelief, but you donât give her more than a second to make sense of it all. In one quick motion, you line yourself up again and press your cock deep into her pussy.
She screams out, eyes clenched again, back arched towards the roof. Her pussy clamps down hard against your cock as you give her every bit of strength you have. Her legs spread wider, and you quickly hook your arms under her thighs.
You lean deeper over her and start pumping your hips as hard and fast as you can. Everything is shaking, unsteady and a mess. IUâs scream crescendos as her pussy gushes against you. You press in some more, folding her completely until her legs are almost behind her head, and slam your hips even harder.
It doesnât take you much longer before your cock starts throbbing, ready for release. You quickly let go of her legs, letting them crash back down to the mattress as you pull out of her warm pussy. You jump to your feet and rush towards her face before kneeling down in front of her.
You grab her hair and roughly tug her face in front of your cock with one hand, while quickly taking hold of your shaft with the other. It only takes about two seconds before the first spurt lands directly against her face.
She shuts her eyes tight again â right in time as a streak of white lands on her eyelid â and she opens her mouth.
A shot lands directly on her tongue, but before the next can join, you pull her head towards your body. You slip in and she immediately tightens her lips around your cock as you start unloading right down her throat.
You push in deeper, all the way.
She starts gagging.
You answer her panic by pushing forward until her jaw opens enough for you to slip your balls into her mouth again.
Tears are streaming down her face through her clenched eyelids, making a mess of her already-ravaged mascara.
But she holds on. She fights through the discomfort until you feel the final few dribbles of cum drop down her throat. It probably felt like an eternity for her.
Slowly, you pull back, cock completely drenched and leaving strings of mess connecting it to her face. As soon as you let your cock slip out of her mouth, IU lets a violent cough echo through the room. You give her a bit of space as she turns around onto her stomach, gasping for air.
She starts spitting on the bed, desperately coughing your cum out of her lungs. After the coughing subsides, she balls up with her knees to her chest and quietly sobs into the sheets. It takes her a few minutes before she finally sits up and turns to face you.
You take a look at her sweat-stained body and nod towards the door. She silently agrees and you take her hand, walking her out of the room. As soon as you step into the hallway, you let go of her hand and turn to face her.
âAre you alright?â you quickly pull her into a hug.
âYeah, Iâm good,â her voice is croaky and strained as she returns the hug.
âI didnât go too far right? Did Iââ
âRelax,â IU pulls back from the hug and holds your arms, smiling up at you. âIf you did, I would have said the word.â
You pull her back into the hug, squeezing as hard as you can, trying to get past the overwhelming amount of emotion youâre feeling.
âI know,â she says gently, patting your back.
Eventually, after probably a few minutes, you slowly separate from her body. With one hand, you push her hair out of her face and cup her cheek warmly in your palm. âDoes it hurt anywhere?â you ask.
âFucking yes,â she laughs before coughing again. âMy throat feels like itâs on fire.â
âSorry,â you slide your hands down her body and massage her ass cheeks softly.
âItâs fine,â she winces as your fingers push into her skin. âBut I think my ass is bruised. Howâs my face?â
âCouldnât be more perfect,â you smile at her. âCome on, letâs take a look.â
You pick her up carefully and walk her back to her living room before very gently placing her on the couch.
âAh,â she jolts.
âSorry, tender?â
âItâs not unbearable, but yeah, a bit,â she strains an answer before turning around. âNo bleeding anywhere, right?â
âNo,â you push down on her lower back so sheâs laying flat on her stomach. âIâm going to grab some ice packs, sit tight.â
âWait,â she turns to her side and reaches out to grab you.
Her fingers are digging into your wrist, the grip she has is painfully tight. Itâs not just a âwaitâ type of grip, it has this conviction that you were unprepared to feel.
âYes?â you crouch down next to the couch so that youâre face to face with her.
âCan you get it up one more time for me?â she whispers.
Unbelievable.
This girl is unbelievable.
After all that, after leaving her body bruised and beaten, sheâs still not satisfied? Youâre starting to think youâll never be able to indulge her desires. She might be too much for you.
âYou mean like, you wanna go back in?â you reply hesitantly. âIâm not sure ifâŠâ
âOh, no,â IU lets go of your wrist and lifts herself up to her hands and knees. âNot in there. Out here.â
She notices your hesitation.
âCan we not think about tomorrow, like, just put that on pause and only think about tonight?â she asks quietly. âPlease?â
âThatâs not the issue,â you shake your head. âTrust me, the only reason my brain is functioning right now is because Iâve convinced myself this is all a dream.â
âIs it the bruises?â she asks with a warm smile.
âItâs different in the room,â you nod. âIn there, Iâm doing it for you, with you, for us, whatever. You know what I mean, but out here I⊠I donât want to see you hurt.â
âI know you donât,â IU rises from the couch. She takes a few, brief moments to simply gaze into your eyes before slowly leaning forward and pressing her lips to yours.
You feel a bit frozen, accepting the kiss but struggling to return it. Even when you feel her soft hands on your shoulders, itâs still hard to hold back how you feel. You canât escape that gnawing feeling inside your chest as it threatens to rip you apart from the inside.
Then, as IU slowly pulls her lips away, you suddenly feel your heart start racing. You instinctually grab her before she can move too far, and you kiss her again. This time thereâs no trepidation, you hold her face softly with both hands and press your mouth as deep as you can.
She stumbles backwards before you catch her, and she grabs onto your body for support. Quickly pushing back into you, returning the heat of your kiss twofold. She moans into your mouth, greedy and desperate for your touch, slowly pushing you backwards.
Thereâs a loud thud as your back slams into the dining table. You quickly break off the kiss as both of you take a look at each other. Then, as if choreographed, IU jumps up into your arms and you spin around, sitting her on top of the table and pressing your lips to hers again.
The kiss continues, this time far more intense than ever before. She starts digging her fingers into your back, and then she slides a hand up to your nape, pulling you in as close as possible.
Your hands end up on her waist as your bodies squish together. Her skin, still damp from her sweat, emanates the most comforting heat youâve ever felt in your life. You find yourself leaning forward more and more, desperate and addicted to her touch, and soon youâre bending over her body until her back presses flat against the tabletop.
By the time you stop kissing her, both of you are intensely out of breath. Youâre both gasping for air as you hold yourself right above her, eye contact strong enough to cut diamonds.
âWhat ifâŠâ IU pants, pausing to take two deep breaths. âWhat if we do it like this?â
She lifts her legs straight up and you step back to give her a bit of room.
âForget about the room for now,â she whispers, spreading herself wide. âFor me.â
âBabeââ the word slips out of your mouth before you can stop yourself.
âPlease,â she ignores how visibly flustered you are by the slip-up. âIn my ass, slowly. I canât explain how good it feels.â
She sees youâre still a bit shaken by the mistake and places her legs on your shoulders. You have to step closer to support them, and your cock ends up resting on her pussy. She reaches for your shaft and presses it to her skin as she moves her hips back and forth.
âWe can talk about it later, I promise this doesnât have to mean anything more if you donât want it to. Just live in the moment,â she whispers quietly. âIs that fine?â
Truthfully, your mind is mush right now. You canât even consider thinking straight when your entire body feels like itâs being electrocuted each time your tip grazes IUâs folds.
âYeah, fine,â you mumble, heart racing faster than ever. âLetâs do it.â
âThank you,â IU smiles up at you as she presses down on your cock, lining it up with her ass. âBe gentle?â
You nod in response, heart still thumping in your ears. As carefully and slowly as possible, you start to ease your tip into her slowly.
Itâs as fucking tight as you remember. Yet, while still so tight, it seems to accept your cock without difficulty. You inch in some more, melting at the gentle moans escaping her mouth, legs buckling at how undeniably divine her asshole feels as it accepts your cock.
âThatâs it,â she takes a sharp inhale, closing her eyes as you make the final push. âFuck, thatâs so nice.â
âTell me ifâŠâ you grunt and start swaying your hips back and forth.
âPerfect,â she moans. âItâs perfect just like that. Keep doing⊠yeahâŠâ
Her hand slips between her legs and she starts rubbing her clit slowly.
You lean forward a touch, fixing the angle into her tight ass. All youâre trying to do now is match her, to make it good for her â but itâs so much more difficult than expected. Your hips are struggling to hold back. She just feels so good. Her asshole is so fucking unreal.
Every couple of thrusts into her, you feel your body twitch, yearning for more. Itâs a vicious cycle of losing control and holding back. As amazing as her body feels, youâre doing this for her, and you have to keep reminding yourself that. Itâs what you really want. Itâs what she deserves.
She suddenly screams, letting the melodic âfuckâ ring through your skull. Her body arches up and her hand speeds up. âKeep going,â she cries out, âplease keep fucking going.â
Youâre trying.
While maintaining the tempo to the best of your ability, ignoring the sweat dripping off your forehead, you lean even deeper over her body, really pushing the flexibility of her legs. You wrap your arms around her thighs, keeping them in place, and palm both of her tits.
Another scream.
Sheâs close.
Her body jolts after one particularly hard thrust, but you donât give her even a moment to think about it before thrusting into her tight little ass again, and again, and again. At the same time, you take hold of her nipples between your fingers, pinching down on them.
She cries out again.
You pinch harder, then you let go. A few hard thrusts, and then another pinch, anything and everything you do right now is working. You can feel it, her body is accepting everything.
Her entire everything is squirming on the table, quivering at your touch. Sheâs losing her mind, youâre watching it in real time. Her eyes shut tighter, mouth hangs open, one final little gasp comes out and her body freezes. She tenses up, a little bit rushes out of her pussy, and tears spill through her clenched eyes.
âOh⊠fuckâŠâ she moans, quietly under her breath, legs squeezing together against your body. âFuck, oh fuck.â
She throws her head back, arching her body as far as it can go, and her legs slip off your shoulders. You grab them before they slam against the table, lowering her slowly, cock still deep inside her asshole.
âThank⊠youâŠâ she gasps, her chest heaving up and down and her legs dangling lifelessly off the edge of the table. âJust give me⊠a few seconds⊠then you can⊠insideâŠâ
âItâs alright,â you plant soft kisses across her sweat-stained abdomen and let your cock slip out of her, still throbbing and ready to blow. âYouâve already done more thanââ
âShut up,â IU cuts you off, suddenly sitting up and staring directly into your eyes with an unexpected fire behind her pupils. âI fucking love you.â
The sudden shift has you taken aback, stunned momentarily. You try to form the words, some sort of response, but all you can do is stammer, confused and overwhelmed.
âItâs fine if you canât say it back,â she continues with the same passion. âI understand, but it doesnât change anything. I love you.â
This time, you donât even get a chance to reply as she hops off the table and lunges into your arms, kissing you deeply before you can even react.
âTell me what you want,â she whispers, holding her face just inches away from yours. She kisses you again, and her hand reaches down to your cock. She backs up, grip tightened, face full of determination and lust. âYou can do anything to me. Anything at all. Iâm yours.â
âIâŠâ you choke on your own spit while IU swiftly drops down to her knees.
She doesnât hesitate for even a second before wrapping her lips around your tip; She sucks down hard, swirling her tongue slowly, cheeks entirely hollowed out, hand stroking your length meticulously.
âMy throat? Is that what you want?â she releases with a pop, those gorgeous eyes looking up at you, hand still stroking. âOr do you want my pussy? Itâs so wet. Iâm so wet, for you.â
âIUâŠâ you reach down and pull her up from her knees.
âDo you want my ass again?â she moans into your face. âTake it. Itâs yours. Drag me by my hair back into the room if thatâs what you want. I donât care. Do anything with me.â
âNo,â you shove your mouth to hers, initiating the kiss yourself this time. âDonât talk like that. Not out here,â you gasp breathily into her mouth before pressing forward again.
Out of all the times youâve kissed IU tonight, this one is by far the best. Not just the longest â although it feels like an eternity together â but by far the most tender.
After the initial shock quickly wears off, IU begins leaning into it. Her hands latch onto your face before combing her fingers through your hair. Her tongue wraps around yours while she breathes into your mouth. She moves closer, as close as physically possible, pressing her soft skin against yours. Balanced on one leg, her other wraps around your waist.
You quickly grab under her thigh, holding her body right up against yours. Your other hand wraps around the back of her neck, squeezing softly into the soft muscles while you push your tongue deeper down her throat. You donât ever want to let go of her.
Then, mouth still pressed to hers, you lower yourself down to the floor as your legs give out. You hold her close the whole way until youâre flat on your back with IU right on top of you.
She breaks apart the kiss for a second to reach back between your legs and grab your cock. Her touch alone almost sends you over the edge, youâre throbbing in her hand, and the one little pump she gives you spills a glob of precum out of your tip.
Somehow, you manage to hold back, just long enough for her to slip it in.
Really, thatâs almost literally as long as you can manage. As soon as she lowers herself onto your body, it only takes about three seconds before you feel it. You gasp out, practically scream out, and IU quickly presses her lips to yours again.
Your whole body goes numb, all you can feel is your cock pulsating inside IUâs soft, warm pussy. That, and the kisses sheâs leaving on your lips. It might just be the best orgasm of your entire life, it has you in genuine tears.
IU doesnât care about anything other than your pleasure. Sheâs grinding her hips, matching each gush of cum shooting into her pussy, somehow timing it to perfection. At the same time, she wonât stop kissing you, holding you, spilling emotions right into your heart.
Itâs overwhelming.
It almost hurts. Your cock is quickly turning sensitive, shooting its final spurts deep inside her. Youâre frozen, out of breath completely, laying there lifelessly as IU continues to kiss you. She wonât stop, not that you want her to, obviously.
And thatâs when it hits you. When it really hits you. With IUâs body wrapped in your arms, with her still kissing you, with your cock slowly losing life inside her, you realize you donât just want to drag this moment on for a bit longer â you want this moment to last forever.
Fresh tears spill out of your eyes, and IU notices. She finally stops kissing you, and the look sheâs giving you⊠that look is everything.
âYou areâŠâ you try speaking but you quickly choke up.
âItâs alright,â she smiles at you, eyes glossier than ever before. âTake your time.â
You reach up and cup her face in your hands gently.
âI fucking love you so much.â
Her eyes immediately spill, tears land on your face before she can wipe them away. Without missing a beat, you reach up and pull her close, holding her tight in your embrace. Each breath, each gentle little sob, you can feel it reverberate through your skin, through your entire body.
The warmth and safety you feel right now, itâs all you want. That hole youâve been fighting inside your heart all week, it finally feels like itâs full again.
You feel⊠complete.
âI donât deserve you,â she whimpers against your body.
âThatâs not true,â you mumble in response before releasing her from your hold.
She lifts herself up, and you follow her lead, sitting up so that youâre face to face with her. She places her hands on your shoulders while yours find her hips.
âHow bad of an idea do you think it would be?â she asks in the tiniest voice imaginable.
âProbably the worst decision we could ever make,â you smile.
She giggles nervously before biting her lower lip, brows furrowed above her glassy eyes, waiting for you to continue.
âButâŠâ you hesitate, feeling the fresh emotions building in your eyes. âWhat I am sure about is that I still love you.â
âAnd I love you,â she whispers, slowly leaning in.
You pause right in front of her face as your foreheads touch.
âThis is such a mistake,â you mutter.
âI know.â
She waits patiently for you to keep going.
âI tried to walk away once,â you take a deep breath and close your eyes, âwasnât a big fan of that.â
âNeither was I.â
You feel her lips press against yours, hesitant, certain, scared, and excited all at once. Youâre still not entirely sure if itâs the right decision, but youâre equally unsure if itâs the wrong decision.
But youâre tired â exhausted trying to make sense of it.
Youâre just going to do what feels right, even if it feels wrong.
---
A/N:
Bit of an Inception spinning top ending maybe? Let's just say whether or not they get back together is up to interpretation.
Anyway, thatâs it, this story is done and I have no intentions to ever come back to it. Rereading the previous parts multiple times to get back into the headspace to write this plot was rough. Fun journey for sure, I hope it meets some level of expectations because I know some of you definitely had high hopes for this one. If it doesn't, I apologize and hope my future posts satisfy!
âYour highness, they are all very accomplished, winners of multiple wars!â
âAccomplished, but ugly. No.â
âPrincess, these nations have stood with us for centuries. Surely you can think it o-âÂ
Ningning stares down the impassioned minister, crossing her arms, the pink, jeweled petals of her lavish dress sparkling as she looks up at the man from across the round table. âI see no reason why I have to do anything, minister. I will not be marrying any of these men.âÂ
You sigh, shooting the old man an apologetic glance as the other members of the council fidget in their seats. The princess has always been⊠difficult. Standing behind her, you can feel how heavy the air is getting. Funny, that all the most powerful lords and ladies of the country canât get through to a much younger girl.Â
Steeling yourself, you take a step forward. âMy apologies, minister, perhaps the princess misunderstands.â Ningningâs catlike eyes dart left, giving you a warning, shifting her lithe body in the velvet chair so she can better stare up at you. You can feel the other members of the table hold their breath. Here it comes.
âMisunderstand what exactly?â Her voice is icy, pointed, like she canât imagine why you would say something so stupid. Well, it is your job after all, and whether she likes it or not, you were put in this position to keep her in check.
âThat while you are the most beautiful princess on the continent, you are also the leader of the most powerful nation in the west.â You start, gesturing to the other nobles of the table. They straighten up, morning sunlight peeking through stained glass to illuminate their battle-worn features, as if theyâve broken free from the spell of a very bratty princess.
Ningning raises her eyebrows, a slight nod beckoning you to go on. You watch her dress shine in the soft light, taking a deep breath, âYou have to at least hear their proposals out. Agree to the ministerâs plan to let the princes visit you.â
Ningning scoffs, âI donât want their mud on my floors. My father bled against these menâs families, he fought, and won.â The councilors wince , some rubbing old battle scars, as if their bodies still arenât used to the peace. Ningning leans forward, âAnd you want to bring these grungy foreigners here? To my paradise?âÂ
You lean forward, and Ningningâs eyes widen as your strong voice echoes throughout the ornate chamber, âA paradise built by alliances that ended your fatherâs war. Strong, long-lasting, powerful alliances. Do you believe that your honorable parents fell in love by the grace of God, your highness?âÂ
Ningningâs eyes narrow, and the whole room holds its breath. You glance at the minister across the table, the man slowly sitting back down, eyes wide, his robes shifting as he tries to sneak back into his seat. Your heart catches in your throat. Itâs never a good idea to mention the late King and Queen in front of her.Â
Maybe if you apologize before it sets in, sheâll forgive you. You meet Ningningâs gaze, stammering, âNot to say that your parents were without grace. Iâm sure that they would be very proud of you, your high-âÂ
âYouâre right.âÂ
Wait, what?Â
Ningning smiles at you, her dark eyes crinkling as she exhales, breaking her stare. She turns back to the council. âMy advisor is right. I apologize for my own lack of foresight in the matter of my engagement. Minister, let it be known that I will receive these⊠princes. I will leave the details up to you.âÂ
âAâŠ. A wise choice, your highness! We shall begin constructing the plans right away.â The old man shoots up with a wide smile, the other council members filling the room with excited applause. You look down at Ningning, and the princess cracks a smirk at you, as if her jolt of anger was all one big, convoluted, prank.
You gulp, giving her a quick smirk back, stepping behind the sovereignâs large makeshift throne as the council chatters on. Ningning straightens her back, adjusting her tiara to sit on perfectly on her neatly combed locks. Here, at the head of the table, she almost seems like a real ruler, not an aggressive orphan made to reign way too early.
Soon, the meeting concludes, and you find yourself by the large mahogany door, bowing to every council member that takes their leave. âThank you, duchess. And yes, we will make sure that the princess attends your name day celebration!â You lean forward, holding the gloved hand of an older woman, the smilelines on her cheeks deepening as you bow to her. She leans beside your ear, letting the other nobles pass behind her, âThank the Lord for you, advisor. The poor girl barely has things together as it isâŠâ You straighten, giving the older woman a sideways grin, âNow thatâs our sovereign you are talking about, duchess, with how large the kingdom is, I would say that she is doing much better than any of us could.â
The duchess opens her mouth to respond, âOh no advisor, iâm sureâŠ.â Suddenly, her eyes widen, staring at the doorway behind you, and she trails off. âNevermind! I shall see you on Saturday. Your highness.â She curtsies, and you turn around, just in time to see Ningning, with her guards flanking her, and her arms across her chest.Â
âP-princess! I apologize, I'm blocking your way.â You start, stepping aside in an ill attempt to escape. With a bang, the large doors swing shut, and the guards shift uneasily as Ningning grabs you by the ear and pulls you along the hallway.
âOw! Princess! I was just escorting the duchess out! I didnât mean anything by-â You grimace, the sharp pain coursing through your body as she drags you past ornate paintings and ancient keepsakes. The royal is surprisingly strong, her long legs strutting confidently on the velvet carpet. You wonder what set her off this time. She handled the meeting well, really, really well. If anything, youâre more than proud that she managed to avoid exploding at the council, or at you, for once, so what could she possibly want with you now. Â
Eventually, the thump of her heels on the soft flooring stops, and you find yourself in front of a large, gilded door. The guards follow closely behind, gloves gripping the hilts of their swords tightly as Ningning addresses them. âLeave us, now. And make sure that none enter this wing for the next few hours. I will have a few words with my advisor.âÂ
You shoot a pleading look at the knights, almost feeling their pity through their plated armor. âSorry, boss. Weâll make it up to you.â they seem to say, bowing quickly before marching away to the entrance of the castle wing. God, youâve really done it now.Â
Ningning drags you inside, not wasting a second, pushing you up against the warm wood. Your breath catches in your throat, the messy, Victorian style bedroom a lazy backdrop to the princessâ intense stare. She pushes her covered breasts onto your chest. Arms, they stay pinned at your side, like sheâs pressing a painting into a wall. Ningning slowly cranes her lips beside your ear, âI barely have things together?âÂ
You gulp, heart catching in your throat as you look down at the beautiful woman. Her gaze is icy, hands slowly rubbing the outside of your trousers. âPrincess, the duchess simply worries for you, we donât have to do this again.â you squeak, like a mouse, hunted by this very turned on, catlike royal.Â
Ningning does nothing but smirk, pulling your underwear down quickly, dropping to her knees as the cold morning air wraps around your erect member. Your hands slowly droop down, but you stay plastered on the wood, like sheâs still pinning you there, like her body is still on you.Â
âHeavy. Good. Youâre filling me up today.â The princess cups your balls, her fingers dribbling against the puckered skin as she squints up at you. Amidst short breaths, you canât help but marvel at how the orange-yellow light glazes her skin, the thin, pink fabric of her dress covered in dark spots as Ningningâs wetness spreads from her legs. Sheâs beautiful, and after that disaster of a meeting, she needs a way to relieve her stress.Â
Ningningâs tongue darts out, teasing the leaking tip of your cockhead as she grips you by your base, âHey.â Informal. Casual. Crude. She looks up into your eyes, and you stare back down at her, sweat forming on your forehead as you canât help but throb in her soft hands. âYes, princess?â you reply, your voice breathy.Â
Her gaze softens, her eyes now half-lidded as she slowly licks up the length of your shaft. Her dress has creeped up her thighs at this point, and you canât help but notice her bare pussy lips in between her kneeling legs. Ningning stares at you, a firm warning exiting her precum smeared lips, âDonât ever embarrass me again⊠daddy.âÂ
You harden at the words, wanting nothing more than to grab the princess by the neck and throw her onto the bed. Ningning can tell, making a show out of keeping one hand jerking on your cock, while the other pulls her dress down her breasts, the mink revealing perfect, perky breasts. She smiles, âIâm going to drain you now, and you donât get to cum until I say so, alright?â Ningning accentuates the last word with a kiss on your cockhead, the skin wet with her spit. You give her a slow nod, gritting your teeth. Sheâs asking you for the impossible.
But sheâs also your princess. You are sworn to her.Â
âYes⊠your highness.â You croak out the words as Ningning smirks at you, âGood daddy, now come to bed, I'm riding you until you fill me with your seed.â You stumble forward, watching as your ruler slowly sways her now naked hips. No undergarments in the council meeting? Youâd have to tell her off later, but in the meantime, the idea only does more to keep your cock hard and ready. Her pink dress stays bunched up around her tight waist, and you watch as her ass sways in the morning light, the dresses and books strewed around the floor nothing but obstacles for her long, supple legs.Â
Ningning crawls onto the bed, peeling the rest of the pink fabric off her body, then kneeling on her heels as she crosses her arms, âFaster, daddy. I have a kingdom to run.â Hastily, you strip, sitting on the edge of the bed, then swinging your legs so they are on either side of the kneeling girl. Youâre careful not to meet her eyes. No matter how turned on you are, sheâs in charge. Soon, youâre lying down on your back, the expensive, gold patterned furs digging into the small of your back as your princess straddles you. Ningningâs hair falls around her face in the soft yellow light, and you watch as her petite tits rise and fall, the princess grabbing you by the shaft, your cockhead rubbing against her pussy lips as she stares down at you. Her eyes glint, half-lidded, âGod, daddy, if only that old hag could watch me handle this.â
âFuck!â You groan. With a slap, the princessâ ass bounces on your thighs as she roughly takes you to the hilt. Sheâs always rough, calling you daddy even if youâre her toy, but a part of you loves it, loves letting her take control, loves letting the princess, in a twisted way, worship you with her body.Â
âYes, yes, yes!â Ningning moans, grabbing handfuls of the blankets around her as she bounces on your cock. You feel her walls get accustomed to you, the tightness suffocating, wringing you in a wet embrace. Sheâs not even looking at you. Her Tiara stays skewed on her head, her breasts jumping with every bounce, her small hands resting on your thighs as the princess arches her back, gyrating her hips onto your waiting cock. âPrincess, youâre too tight.â You moan, hands reaching down to grab her soaked ass.Â
A slap resounds through the large room. âDonât you dare. You donât get to touch me until I milk you dry, daddy.â Ningning warns, her tongue coming out of her moaning mouth as she slaps your hands away, continuing her impassioned ride. You give up, resorting to grabbing handfuls of cloth, watching as your beloved princess cums on your cock, over and over again, her breasts lathered in sweat, her taut stomach rippling under the force of her bouncing.Â
Ningning opens one eye, panting, to grab you by the neck, âKiss me, daddy.â You hesitate for a moment, wishing to savor the feeling of her drawing circles on your crotch, the glorious sensation of her royal pussy grasping onto every ridge of your unworthy cock, but in the end, you sit up. âYouâre fucking beautiful, your highness⊠please, iâm so close.â You beg, letting the girl hold you by the cheeks as your tongue explores her mouth, her hips still riding you, albeit slower, more deliberate, as if she wants to savor every moment too.Â
Ningningâs lips part, small moans filling the grand room, her dark eyes mesmerizing as you feel the blankets shift. âHere, you belong to me. All your cum, daddy⊠it belongs to meâŠâ She whispers slowly, pausing to grimace, as if your cock is somehow surprising her with pleasure after all these trysts. You exhale, feeling it bubble in your core. Something about your aloof, icy princess demanding for you, demanding for your seed, burns all thoughts of stopping away. You need to cum in her, now.Â
Your lips find Ningningâs neck, sucking on her clear, unblemished skin as your rough hands find her ass. This time, she doesnât turn you away, the princessâ smile only getting bigger, as if sheâs been waiting for you to take charge. âMmm, yes! Yes! Breed me! Breed your princess!â Ningning screams, her hips now still as you fuck into her fast and hard. Sheâs bouncing on your lap now, your chests pushed together, her breasts warm as you hammer into the royalâs pussy.Â
âFuck! Y-yes! Itâs coming!â You grit your teeth, focusing on delaying your release for as long as you can, until the princess wraps her long legs around you, rocking her dripping pussy lips on the base of your crotch. âOh⊠oh! Daddy!â Ningning groans, her walls tight and clenching, barely allowing you to thrust, begging for your seed as she pins you down with the flower between her legs.Â
âIâm cumming!â You roar, kissing Ningningâs jaw as the princessâ eyes shoot open. She screams, voice melting into pleasured gasps as you fill her, your hot, virile cum shooting warmth into her crown jewel, making her body relax. You feel her in your arms, her tits shaking, her ass trembling as you fill the next in line to the throne with your seed.Â
Itâs almost comical, that sheâd get so frustrated with a stupid meeting, that this is the only way Ningning can relax, tempting fate by having a lowborn like you breed her like an animal.Â
Hey, youâre not complaining, sighing as your sovereign topples onto your chest, her moist, hot breaths in your ear, her pussy still milking the last dribbles of cum from your cock. You look down at her with a grin, âIs that all for this morning, your highness?âÂ
Ningning rolls her eyes, nestling into the crook of your neck, the fur blankets around you damp with the heat of your sex. âMmmâŠâ She flips you over, legs spreading as you lay on top of her, your cock slipping out of her pussy with a pop. Ningning smiles, âNo, daddy. This time, youâre going to use me.âÂ
You smile, watching her bite her lip as the morning light fades. âAs you wish, princess.âÂ
Male Reader x Jang Wonyoung, Wang Yiren, Lee Gahyeon, Park Sujin (Swan), Jeon Somi, Shin Yuna, Kim Yerim (Yeri), Im Yeojin (9some)
Length: 10.000 words
Tags: live action porn, porn game, fucking for points, Team Battle Royale, squirting kink, edging kink, bimbofication, brat taming, doggy, fingering, face riding, blue balling, jerking you off, titfuck, standing sex, step-bro I'm stuck, anal, creampie, anal creampie, eating out, blowjob, face fucking, deep throat, rough sex, missionary, full nelson, against the wall, piledriver, mating press, overstimulation, porn_star!you / porn_rookies!idols
TW: even after editing, this is messy and chaotic and pure sex lol
Inspiration: the idea of a Maknae focused fic is not new, but I just went all in. This is also based on this vote I send out a while ago lol. I think I can name drop @writerpeach cuz I remember him saying sth like that.
Credit: @erospandemos for the cover art! Thabk you very much!
(A/N: One year after C.Ollection, I'm trying my best to celebrate and repeat that craziness, have fun! The beginning is a reference to Labyrinth of the Six. This is the same universe but not a sequel!)
-
"I was looking for copper and I found gold!"
You turn off the purring engine of your car. It is clearly not as nice as the purring of the girl you were in balls deep mere minutes ago, but let's be honest, those purrs should not be compared; one is mechanical, the other borderline maniacal. You let out a sigh as you kill the annoying lights in your car to focus on the call you just accepted.
"Hi, is this really how you're greeting me?" you respond, letting your fingers glide over the steering wheel as you watch a single car pass by in the middle of this warm, humid night.
"Oh, man, stop complaining!" the director says and laughs. You can hear him type something on an old keyboard, each tap of his fingers obnoxiously loud. "I'm going to give you the opportunity of a lifetimeâsomething this great, it needs no greeting."
You rub your nose, then the inside of your eyes filled with tiredness and exhaustion. She was needy tonight, you gave her two rounds, 140 minutes of a hard pounding until the clock struck a merciless 3am. Yes, you were counting the minutes, it was necessary. Otherwise Jiwonâs cunt would have drained you early, which is unbecoming of a porn actor of your caliber.
"Look," you halt the director's enthusiasm with a groan. "I'm doing good right now. MoneyâI got enough; my love-life is good too. Maybe I'll take a break for a couple of months until my nextâ"
"No, listen!" he shouts in absolute excitement, like he has been enlightened by the truth. "This script, it's so fucking good! It lit a fire in me, I can already see the setting, the actresses, youâit's perfect. This can even top your Labyrinth performanceâyou remember, the six hottiesâ"
"Of course I do!" There you go. Your heart beat is picking up in tempo. How could you forget the pleasure, the absolute thrill of having sex with six gorgeous women at the same time? Donât kid yourself, this already felt like one in a millionâto flat out reject another offer that could be of this magnitude would be absolutely foolish. âFuck it. Send me the script, Iâll get back to you.â
âOh, you will,â the director says, absolutely certain that you will accept in a heartbeat after reading this ominous script. âIâll start looking for actresses.â
#
The script is complex, wild, otherworldlyâimplementing it took weeks of preparation. Luckily, your part in this clusterfuck is rather simple: be hard, go hard and stay hard. The first two are deeply rooted within you. Seeing the girlsâ incredible faces and even greater bodies has you ready to get a raging erection at any time, while some of their slutty mannerisms and lewd words dripping from their tongues like venomous drool urge you to go as hard and rough as you can. Hell, theyâll basically beg for youâwhy would you hold back?
The only issue is that there are too many of them. No matter how hot they are or how horny you are, at some point there is nothing left. You will be drained and there is no shame in admitting defeat to them. So once again, youâll have to resort to some performance enhancers to stay hard like a diamond while drilling into cave after cave. Itâs a pink pill this time, tiny, you barely notice it, both in the palm of your hand and in your throat. Take a deep breath and feel it surely doing its job already.Â
You open your eyes in the midst of a studio room that looks like a submarine. Dim light, large, black holes around you, each with a large porthole-like door in the middle; it feels gloomy, mysterious, unsettling. A single camera is pointed at you, live streaming each droplet of sweat running down your face. Feel the artificial warmth of a nearby heater creep up your thin clothes, giving you chills. It cannot match the heat within you.
The red light atop the camera turns off. Sixty seconds from now, one of the portholes will open. The glass in them is blurry, obscuring any view of the chaos happening behind them. You of course know the script inside out, but the girlsâ are still somewhat unknown. Youâve never seen them face to face, only in zoom calls, their bodies looked fantastic and because they are rookies, they should also be tight, but you donât know how they will handle the pressure, all the eyes on them, the revealing outfits, the unbridled sexâ
Around thirty seconds now. You grab your trousers and feel blood rushing out of your legs. Feet tingle, the tips of your fingers as well. This pill, it has your heart racing somewhere, racing from something, to anything. Eyes tremble, vision blurrier than the glass before you, behind you, around you.Â
Youâve never felt more alive and dead at the same time.
With a loud hiss, the porthole to your left swings open, wide open, flooding your entirely empty room with copious amounts of fog and the smell of fresh fruits. The vibrant color scheme of pastel pink, magenta, light purple and white fills your view as you step into what looks like Princess Peachâs private castle, its kitchen, living room and bedroom. Itâs like one explosion of cuteness and innocence, quite charming, very fake.
âOh, heâs already here. Look, Barbie!â
âThatâs not my name, Yiren. Hello, handsome stranger!â
The two girls fit the concept of the room perfectly. Such bright smiles, happiness pouring from their cute little faces; you knew they would nail this performance the moment you saw their pictures and heard their voices. Wonyoung, the tall girl with her incredibly long legs truly looks like a Barbie doll: tiny ribbons adorn her endless chocolate hair while the pink crop top and straight denim skirt make you want to play with her all night, undress her everywhere.
Yiren on the other hand blends in with the room to such a degree, youâd assume they cannot be sold separately. The chinese girl boasts hair the color of peaches, her tight white dress sparkles because of small, silver details spread across it, while her face leaves no doubt that she is, in fact, a princess.Â
The two get closer to you, before Wonyoung starts to speak up again, her voice in a sassy, yet genuinely adorable pitch.
âAw, are you shy? No need to be, weâre all here to have fun. Isnât that right, Yiren?â
âYouâre right, Barbie. Letâs play some games and make it a night we wonât forget,â Yiren adds, quieter and calmer than Wonyoung, with a smile that warms the heart.
âS-sure,â you respond to the two girls bouncing up and down in front of you like hyped up kangaroos. âB-but what are we going to play?â
âYou see,â Wonyoung starts. âYiren and I are a team and we have a mission to fulfill. Can you help us?â
âIâd love to, but what is the mission?â
Yiren turns towards Wonyoung, whoâs already grinning at her. They share a nod and Yiren suddenly wraps herself around one of your arms, while Wonyoung occupies the other. Feel their slender bodies rub on your limbs, their natural heat and rapid heartbeats working towards your own, increasing it with every step they guide you towards a bed in the corner of the room. Itâs at least double queensized, filled with pillows, blankets and stuffed animals.
âLet me explain it to you,â Wonyoung says and climbs atop the purple sheets. âOur mission is to make this bed as wet as possible.â
âWell that sounds easy,â you respond. âJust get some tap water and dump it on here.â
âThatâs what I thought too,â Yiren whispers in your ear and suddenly places her hands all over your back and chest.Â
âNo tap water, only natural juices are allowed,â Wonyoung hums and her hands casually open her skirt. It falls on the bed and she is quick to kick it away. She looks even more tempting and ruinable in her tiny tight panties with a wet teddy bear on the front. âWe need your help to get these juices out of us, pretty please?â
âYes, pretty please?â Yiren adds and cups the bulge in your pants. âIt will be so much fun, I promise. Doesnât Barbie look tight? Donât you want to fuck her until she bursts?â
âFuck, yes.â
âSplendid,â Wonyoung laughs and throws away her crop top as well. Meanwhile Yiren finds the hem of your pants and tugs them down oh-so easily, the only resistance is your hard member, which Yiren promptly points at her team partner who has her legs spread invitingly.Â
Sheâs so hot.
As if she read your mind, Yiren tempts you into finally going hard:
âShe looks so hot. Go fuck her.â
Like a tiger desperate for food, you crawl onto the bed and tackle your prey into a mountain of teddy bears. Your fingers find the very specific teddy bear on Wonyoungâs panties, you push it to the side to find a pink slit. A final look at her glistening eyes before you press your cock onto her equally glistening slit and after some adjustments, you enter her.Â
Wonyoung shrieks cutely, her thin fingers wrap around your bicepsâ and she holds onto them as you start to slowly pump into her. The two of you need time to realize where you are, what youâre doing, how youâre doing it. All acting for the camera is gone in this bliss, at least for a couple of seconds. Then it all comes back with Yiren, eagerly who jumps on the bed as well.
âYou need to hurry up, we donât have forever.â
You slip a hand under Yirenâs dress to quickly shut her up. No panties.
âHow about you start helping, princess,â you fight back. âGo rub Wonyoungâs clit while you ride my fingers. Oh, and Wonyoung.â
âYe-yes?â the young girl moans.
âOpen your mouth wide. I need you to drool on these.â
Both Yirenâs pussy lips and Wonyoungâs normal lipsâthough their lusciousness and thickness is far from mere ânormalââpart as soon as your fingers graze them. The latter is quick to slobber all over them while you recklessly pump them into her; Yiren still has reservations and instead opts to look at you with adorable glassy eyes.
âI-I feel so full,â she moans, shivers throughout her entire body. You softly smile at her and start to curl your fingers, purposefully dragging them alongside her walls while your palm reaches her clit. âAh, i-it feelsââ
Holy shit. Whatever chemical they put into this pill, it has a tendency to just kill your patience. In what can only be described as a loss of all control, your body only moves towards fulfilling the mission. Your fingers start to violently pump into Yirenâs pussy and Wonyoungâs mouth, both quickly spilling liquids out of them. Especially Wonyoung, the Barbie girl below you, becomes a dispenser of juices when you violently fuck into her tight pussy.
âToo fast, ah!â Yiren screams, her hands wrapped around your wrist, unable to prevent the surge of lust in your body.Â
âFuck, sorry. I canât stop me.â You groan, not really sorry about the stuff happening to you, to them andâoh God! Wonyoungâs tiny frame, those cute hard abs, get bulged by your massive erection. A bit of skin and muscles, pushed up by your relentless thrusts, and she is also seeing it. Is she panicking, losing her mind to how you violate almost her entire body?
Her pussy is quick to give you an answer: like a broken, public fountain, she shoots water at you, suddenly soaking your body in her warm pussy juices. With their strong, lewd smell they are the perfect liquid to stain the sheets, more than your balls or her drool can produce. Much to your dismay, most of the nectar gets stuck on you.Â
âFuck, turn around,â you command the thin fuckdoll and because she is too enamored by her heavy orgasmâher tiny thighs and long legs trembling up high in the airâyou grab her hips and spin her around. Now in Doggy, you keep her upright by pulling her chestnut colored hair and plunge back into her still twitching cunt.
Wonyoung is completely overwhelmed. Instead of the cute, girlie moans youâd expect from her pretty lips, she grunts uncontrollably, her voice still hoarse from your fingers that played with her mouth. The grunts, however, are nothing compared to the wet sounds coming from her pussy as you thrust into the warm cavern, desperate to get more out of it.Â
âFuck, fuck, fuck,â both you and Wonyoung groan. The tips of her fingers dig deep into a soft stuffed toy while yours knead her soft butt. The sight of it is amazing; not a big dumpy, like youâve seen on countless actresses, but so flawlessly smooth with an impossibly tiny asshole you one day need to get your tongue into.
âPl-please, me-me too.â
Yiren crawls closer to you, her skirt pulled up, her cunt a leaking mess that needs something inside it. The live action fucking in front of her has her on the edge, ready to do her part to fulfill the mission, but you are too mesmerized by Wonyoung.Â
âWony, lick her pussy. Get your tongue into her, fuck!â you shout, lost in your frenzy.
The barely thinking, barely functioning Barbie gets her hands onto Yirenâs thighs, at first only breathing, hissing, moaning into the princessâ crotch. Itâs enough for Yiren to finally take the lead, forcing Wonyoungâs face straight onto her puffy lips, and the younger surrenders. She kisses and licks all over Yirenâs delicious cunt, the bundle of nerves atop it never left out. Yiren shudders.
âOh God, oh Go~d, fuck!â
Yiren is louder than a fucking bomb when she explodes onto Wonyoungâs face and more importantly, the bed. Her nectar splashes all over the sheets, their color darkening beneath her knees. Finally, the three of you have made significant progress, and you are eager to make more. Especially Wonyoung seems to be more turned on than before; her pussy is even tighter, her walls ripple as she continues to eat Yiren out.Â
âYou like that, huh? Your face deep in her pussy?â you ask her and give her cute ass a firm spank. âSuch a dirty princess!âÂ
âYesh!â Wonyoung shouts, pressing her behind into your pistoning cock.Â
âYou like my cock fucking you senseless, getting into your insides? You want it all, deeper?â
âYesh, pleash!â
âTry to push me out, Wonyoung, squeeze me with your stupid little pussy!â
âAh, shit, fuck! Iâmââ
Yiren shuts her team partner up by grinding on her face. Itâs enough to send Wonyoung into an orgasmic frenzyâagainâand the moment you pull out, she squirtsâagainâeverywhere. It was amazing, absolute bliss for you, but you are not there yet. You need to cum, inside a hot, clenching hole and so you disrupt the two princessâ love making.
Yiren fits perfectly into your hand. She is almost as light as Wonyoung, so you pick her up and place her on the head of the bed. The young woman is still frozen in surprise, her eyes uncertain, then shocked when you spread her legs wide and align your cock with her pussy.
âOh God, itâs t-too big,â she whines even before youâre inside her.
âYou can take it, Yiren, youâre such a good and pretty princess,â you mindlessly groan as you stare at her, then her nipple peeking out above her increasingly bunched up dress. âNow cum all over me.â
Yiren is too easy. Only a few strokes of your cock alongside her velvety walls and her entire body ripples. It starts with her cunt, soon goes to her torso and limbs, before she squirts like a broken garden hose. If the bed was a garden, countless flowers would bloom in itâand Wonyoung wants to make sure you stay to help them.Â
âYou have to stay,â she whines. âStay inside her and make her cum again.â She pushes you, forces you to almost slip inside Yiren again. From the corner of your eye however you see a red light, the indicator that you have to switch scenes right now.
âI think I did enough.â You pull away Wonyoungâs slender arms and Yirenâs feet trying to get you back inside her. âGet some toys or use your fingers. Iâm not playing for your team, you need to play together.â
Yeah, sure, something like that was in the script. Luckily, even these two remember that the show must go on. At least Wonyoung does. The Barbie gets handsy, waving you goodbye while plunging her beautiful, long fingers into Yiren's cunt. What a waste that you wonât cum on those digits tonight.
"Have fun~" Wonyoung cheers as you disappear from her view, towards the next porthole which is already open.
Before you can take in the next setting fully, a nude, masked woman greets you by pulling your face down into her sizable cleavage.
"Quick, get him in here," another voice, feminine yet deep, straightforward yet mysterious, calls and you feel hands all over your body, as they drag you into the room. You only catch glimpses of its interior, a dark, unsettling dungeon with iron bars and cold, smooth walls, akin to the setting of certain Japanese videos youâa friend of yoursâused to watchâfor scientific reasons.
"Here, pin him down."
That voice just now is truly incredible, if only you could see who it belongs to. Unluckily, you only get to see the ceiling as four hands throw you onto a table. Those two are strong, you think, because your back hurts at the impact.
Suddenly, your view gets replaced by a smooth pussy and jiggly thighs trapping your head on the wooden surface. You take deep breaths, the strong smell of arousal quickly filling your nose. A finger boldly flicks your cockhead.
"Oh, you're really turning him on, Gah," the other woman says, your pulsating cock in her fist. "Ride his face, and I think weâll get our first points soon."
"Wh-who are you?" you barely squeeze out, words drowned out by drowning in Gahyeon's pussy juice.
"I'm Swan, but we don't have time for that. We need to win this game, which is why you have to suffer.
"Sorry, by the way."
Before you can respond, Swan's fist goes up and down your length with the violence and speed of a raging tiger, ready to fucking destroy you. Tears spawn in your eyes, precum at your tip. She drives you to the edge and keeps you there with rhythmic pumps while you imagine her face in horny delight.
"Is he there yet?" Gahyeon asks, her voice raspy and cruel.
"Why don't you ask him?" Swan responds and twirls her tongue around your balls. You twitch.
Gahyeon lifts a leg and her deadly eyes stare through a terrifying mask right at you. "Tell me when you're about to explode,â she snarks and to put emphasis on her following words, she presses a long finger nail into your abdomen. âIf not, I'll kill you.
âAnd start licking, for fucks sake.â
She plants herself back down before you can answer. She can live with your eager tongue on her thick folds as an analogical agreement. Through Gahyeonâs almost soundproof thighs you hear her passionate groans and Swanâs continuous spitting in her hands and on your cock to get you wet and ready for more of her soft hands.Â
You canât deny that they are excellent. Yiren and Wonyoung both had tight, cozy holes, but something about Swan grabbing your dick and mercilessly pumping and twisting it makes your spine tingle. She quickly gets you to arch your back and moan into Gahyeonâs pussy, which has started to glide back and forth over your visage.
âSuch a nice cock,â Swan moans. âLook at it, Gah! The head is already burning, I can feel that heâs close.â
Swan puts her second hand on your base and presses her lubed up palm on your underside while she starts to destroy your tip with violent pumps. She is a vicious succubus, trying to get your seed out efficiently without care for your sensitivity. With Gahyeon using your face like a saddle, your mind is left on hold when you loudly tap the table to signal your imminent arrival.
âSwan, now!â
The moment Gahyeon shouts, Swan is gone. No more delicate fingers to hold you, no more fists to jerk you, nothing to stimulate you. You thrust your hips up into air, unable to cum, unable to get your well-deserved release. Those fleeting seconds where you want only one thing are absolutely ruined by not getting this one thingâand then itâs over. You come back down with a devastated sigh.Â
âThatâs one,â Gahyeon says and looks down at you in between her legs. âBut we need more.â
âI agree,â Swan says, adjusting her position in between your shivering legs. âGet him to cooperate, Iâll do the rest.â
Gahyeon once again is faster than your attempts at remonstration. She puts her small hand on your throat and carefully increases the amount of weight on it. You gasp in dread before Swan places your still hard cock in the valley of her enormous tits. The valley then turns to a compressed trap where only your glans peeks out.Â
'Oh fuck', you want to, need to scream but it's futile with Gahyeon's enthusiasm to rub her labia on your lips. Swan shows a very similar need to torture you, her hands eagerly digging into the flesh of her melons and moving them up and downâboth at the same time, then at different times, faster, then slower but with more pressureâis she trying to get you killed?Â
Death by titfuck. That will be an eyecatching epitaph.Â
"Do it faster," Gahyeon orders her teammate emphatically. "We need to get the score up."
"I know," Swan says, her voice a bit strained. "It's just unfair, you know? Getting him ready again and all that. But I think, fuck, weâre getting there. Look at his tip, isn't it cute?"
Swan licks the slit on your cockhead, cleaning the precum from it and you have to tap out again. You are so close once more, but a terrible gut feeling lets you doubt that you will cover Swan's tits with your cream. Youâve never felt so sick about being right, when she pops you free from the heavens between her large breasts.
They are right there, God dammit.
"That's number two!" Swan gleefully shouts and looks at your pole, pointing at the sky, sensitive and ready to explode, but your balls turn blue again. This can't be healthy, with how frustrated it makes you.
"Use your mouth this time, Swanâ"
"Oh yeah? Why don't you do something for once?"
"Huh? We agreed on this earlier! I'm doing my part! Look, he can't even say a word."
"Pl-please," you interrupt the girls' discussion. "Let me, please, let me cum already!"
"Sorry, pal." Swan's voice is soft, and her tongue on your dick is even softer. "But we need to ruin you even more. That's how we're going to win."
"Th-then ruin your own orgasms," you plead with numbness in your mouth, caused by Swan's mouth on your barely numb manhood. "Th-this is cruel."
"He's got a point," Gahyeon thinks out loud. "Ah, fuck this game. If you can get me close, boy, I'll let you escape."
This might be your only chance to get out of this vicious cycle of ruined orgasm and painful edging. So you actually channel all your focus of your lips, tongue and teethâwhatever Gahyeon likesâon her clit. It's surprisingly easy to make her thighs around your ears squirm; Gahyeon's pussy is now wetter than Swan's mouth wrapped around your cockhead.
Suddenly, Swan gives you everything. She forces you to bottom out in her mouth, grow to full hardness once more while she violently gags. She might have been in absolute control over you for the last couple of minutes, but she is perfectly able to make her mouth a slutty hole for your cock. A soft, dominant deepthroat queen with massive titsâshe is going to be a super star.
In a surge of ecstasy, fueled by Gahyeon's sweet juice, you buckle your hips upwards and force Swan to choke a little longer on your length. The young woman is not irritated however. After a single breathe she is back to going up and down you cock, sucking along it until your fucking dead.Â
You know she's going to ruin it again and the only way to pay them back is by ruining Gahyeon's orgasm as well. You finger the pussy above you and quickly flick the blood-filled lips and nub, until she cries out. Then you stop, then Swan stops. She is the only one satisfiedâanother two points for her team.
You blink a couple of times. Gahyeon, groaning like an enraged bull, has the busty Swan pinned to the metal bars of this dungeon and with all her hatred, slaps the younger's wet cunt.
"Now it's your turn, bitch!"
"Ouch, stop!"
"No. I want to win and you want to win too, so you better ruin yourself on my fingers. Now!"
This is your cue to leave. The dungeon fills with Swan's deep grunts and groans as she finally gets to witness what she put you through again and again and again. You'd love to help Gahyeon; there will be no need for it though. The masked girl is willing to do whatever is necessary to win.
Across from the dungeon, the second to last door is already open. The room mimics a dimly lit laundromat with a dozen or so washing machines. You step inside, cock in your carefully stroking hand. After all, youâll have to be hard for the next scene, which will be the complete opposite of the last.Â
âHello? Can somebody help me?â someone cries (letâs be honest, itâs much closer to a desperate moan) from behind a pile of freshly dried laundry atop a clothes rack. There is a sincere lack of intelligence in that cry, like said person is unable to help themselves. Makes you feel chivalrous.Â
âHey, how can Iâhelp you?â
The sight you find behind the pile has your speech a bit halted, interrupted by how, in a room made for washing clothes, someone is severely lacking them: A gorgeous, busty blonde, in nothing but modest, white underwear, though you notice that the bra is at least a size too small and unable to fully carry the weight of her tits.
"Oh, please help me," she moans again. "I think I've picked the wrong bra for me. Can you help me cover so no one can see my boobies while I look for the next?"
What the fuck? This is so fucking stupid on so many levels. How could sheâand why would she suggestâwhat is even happening? The cliche about blondes must be true, because this one is not only dumb as fuck, but also hotness at it's peak. From bust to bottom, no, even to her toes, her body is amazing and tempting.
"Uhm, sure, why not. Can I know your name first?" you politely ask while not so politely getting behind her and cupping her breasts.
"I'm Somi. Thank God your hands are so big, no one can see my boobies now, hihi."
Is it innate for her to sound this silly? If not for this setting, youâd be worried; no human can ever be this stupid, only a buffoon would act in such a way. But maybe Somiâs IQ is just a bit lower than the average personâor maybe she knows no boundaries? The rules of public decency and inappropriate, sexual exposure might be foreign to her? You donât know. You just know that her boobs are soft and bouncy, two handfuls of pillows to rest your head upon, of stress balls to knead when you are, you know, stressed.
You seem to know a lot more than her, especially because she still tries to find a bra able to hold up her breasts in the midst of clothes which all have two things in common: they are colorful and they are skimpy. Itâs like the laundry of a whorehouse with how many short and skin tight skirts, dresses, fishnet stockings you find, let alone the short tops or all the lingerie. Speaking of which, Somi has finally found a bikini top that might be able to do the deed your hands are gleefully doing.Â
âDo you think this one is good?â she asks, holding up a new, purple bra while you slightly press at the bottom of her tits to watch them wobble on your finger tips.Â
âTry it out, because Iâm not so sure with your massive boobs.â
Somi giggles and tries to put on the bra. You leave enough room, really, you do, for her to tie up the thin strands, but Somi is unable to. She mewls a couple of times before you go in and securely tie up the strands yourself. You are promptly rewarded, because the blonde decides to bend down and press her ass back against your crotch, your exposed cock, rapidly hard again at the touch of her cotton panties.Â
âThank you, again,â Somi says and pushes her chest up for all to see. âWhat do you think, is this good?â
âSomi, is it possible that you are fucking stupid?â Oh, that sounded a lot harsher than it should have. The tension is quickly palpable. You hear someone gasp from the other end of the room.
âW-why?â Somiâs question is abashed, a bit shocked; even in this state of complete bimboness, she still looks so good.Â
âBecause these bottoms donât fit your top,â you say and pull at the side of her panties until they snap off of her hips. âYou should change them. White and purple donât fit together all too well.â
Somi looks down at her cleavage, the purple lace engulfing her tits, then to her thighs which have been parted by your cock. The tip peaks from in between her legs and you softly groan out the pleasure her perfect gap gives you into her ear. There is no mere hint of slickness from her heat, there are ridiculous amounts of evidence of it, proof spreading all over. Itâs a clear case of horniness, you better resolve the issue immediately.Â
âYouâre right,â Somi mumbles, thighs swaying. âI should look for the right bottoms. They should be in here.â Things couldnât get any better, because now Somi is bending over, hands in the pile of clothes, while your hands are in the plentifulness of her ass. You hold her steady, align your cock with a hole that looks so ready to get fucked and then push forward. Somi almost stumbles forward, but you save her from making an even greater mess of this place by continuing to make a mess out of her.Â
âOh God,â she moans, a pink crop top in hands. âI-I canât find it.â
âContinue, continue searching,â you groan back and slam your hips forward, then backwards, your cock entering and exiting her cunt at willâyour will is strong, overpowering every small exhaustion in chase of that first true release of this messy pornographic shoot, a shoot where teams fight to win, yet this âteamâ does not even have a target goal.
Somiâs goal is to be stupid, oblivious to your cock gaping her pussy open time and time again, and for this being her first time on cam, she is excellent. Of course, her dumb moans canât be deactivated, you doubt even a ball gag can fully do that, but a benevolent interpretation of this scene allows for these moans to be of desperation. Somi just really wants to find these purple bikini bottomsâyour cock spreading her pussy and the camera lens on it is just a side product.Â
âDa-damnit, fuck,â Somi seems to give up, defeatedly grabbing the edge of the table while you hold onto her shoulders to get faster, deeper inside of her. âThey are not h-here.â
âMaybe you need to take a step back and look at it from afar,â you tell her and all it takes is a pull at her shoulders and Somi stands straight up. From now on, your thrusts go upwards and Somi can casually bounce along while her dizzy eyes try to process the color purple amidst a pile so colorful, every pride parade would become envious.Â
Your arms instinctively wrap around Somiâs small waist. You need to keep her here, canât let her get away, not when you are this close to finally cumming. Your balls are aching, your tip is stimulated and you know that it will be glorious. Somiâs body, from a face that could make news just for its beauty, paired with a pair of perky, large boobs, amplified by a tight, muscular midriff, killer hips and strong, full thighs, she has to be everyoneâs type.Â
People will click on her videos millions of times, yet you are about to be the first to cream her, you can call dibs on that pussy, no male rival co-star stands a chance. Your cock is ready, your legs able to give more power into the final thrusts when suddenlyâ
âOh, I found it!â
âSomi leans forward, hand stretched out, ready to grab what has always been on top of this entire pile, in your view forever, in everyoneâs view forever, only Somi took forever to find it: purple panties. No, they canât ruin your perfect orgasm. You heartlessly push Somi against the table, head first into the laundry. Her scream now muffled by a dozen of clothes in her face, you manically fuck your load into her doggy until cum floods her cavern and clothes flood the laundromat floor.
Every part of you is twitching, so is Somi and her pussy. A bit more, a bit more, she squeezes out of you, but she is full. In the midst of all this chaos, this silly, flushed bitch was able to grab the panties. You give her tits a harsh slap to awaken her from the cock induced slumber.Â
âPut them on, quick, before we make a bigger mess.â
Somi obliges, though shaky. You help her by holding onto her hips, her tits, all those things you could grab forever. When your shaft falls out of her pussy and you watch her catch most of your load with the tight panties, you want to push them to the side and just fuck her full pussy again. Thatâs when you notice someone down the aisle of washing machinesâis it Somiâs teammate?
âWho the fuck is thââ
âHelp, Iâm stuck!â
This one is a classic. A trope so beyond stereotypical, everyone knows it. Just like the dumb blonde, this one can be found on every porn site ever. The only thing missing is that she calls you stepbro. That would be a bit too much though. Her ass sticking out of one of the washing machines while she absolutely tries to get back out of it is already cliche enough to you.
Oh yeah, sheâs also completely naked.
âOh no, Yuna is stuck!â Somi states the exposition for the viewer, who is utterly uninvolved in the engaging plot they stopped paying attention to since this video's thumbnail. âWe need to help her!â
Somi waddles towards her partner. You see trails of cum running down her legs, unceremoniously dropping to the floor and making a lewd, sticky mess of it. She seems unbothered, just like you, and the camera absolutely loves it. The view then switches from this to a new, exposed and impressively large ass.
âHelp, help,â Yuna shouts again, metallic reverberation unable to dampen the stupidness in her voice. You had filmed a scene like this one already, but there are no complaints whatsoever. As long as you can get your hands on Yunaâs ass, pull those cheeks apart and get the first view of those two smooth, clean holes, why would you complain?
âHow did this happen, Yuna?â Somi asks worriedly, arms alongside Yunaâs frame, definitely âpullingâ on her teammate's waist, while your mind imagines all the ways you could rim Yuna for hours.
âI wanted to pull my underwear out of here,â she responds with a whine. âBut now I am stuck!â
Go figure, she is brainless as well. Both of them are, but nature has instead given them the envy of millions of women: divine bodies that are effortlessly sexy and beautiful. Smooth skin, toned legs, curves to die forâin your admiration you notice that your energy is returning quicker than ever before.Â
It might not fit the story, the narrative, the game, but in this moment of bliss, you couldnât care less. Knees bend, cock guided by your thumb, you press your tip against Yunaâs ring and find the entry into her asshole to be a lot easier than expected. Her moan bounces through the washing machine just like her boobs bounce in surprise.Â
Confusion has Somi frozen, her body only reacting when you put force in your thrusts, enough power to make Yuna hit her dumb head against the back of the washing drum. A profuse whimper made metallic, not that you care, but Somi seems to get back into the real world where she is still as moronic as before.Â
âH-how is this supposed to help Yuna?âÂ
Itâs not. Tell her that. Tell her and Somi will continue complaining like this without getting any pleasure from you. Serves her right, wonât make the scene any better though, thus you find her neck with your hand and find her eyes with yours. They sparkle knowingly.Â
âYou really are the dumbest thing alive.â
A pull and Yuna is out of the drum. Blonde hair flows down her back, hides her frail shoulders and in the reflection of the metal drum you see her lips in a light, glistening pink. They are full and made for sucking. In the sea of her endless, golden hair, your hand twists and twists until Yuna voluntarily raises herself from the ground and arches her back towards you. Your goal is not to kiss her lips (though that would be one hell of an experience) but to drown her in Somiâs cleavage.
âWhat are youâYuna! No, donât pull it down, I-I just found it.â
Sweat evaporates from your temple when you see those lips wrap around one of Somiâs nipples and begin to lewdly suck on it. The thrill is engaging, Yunaâs ass invites you back in and itâs with ease that you fuck her puckered hole. You poke the depths of this suffocating cavern and Yuna begins to poke all over Somiâs body. The dumber blonde hesitates briefly, hands first on her thighs, then Yunaâs until she ends up below her friend.Â
âNow you are trapped,â Yuna giggles and drool leaves her mouth in purposefully large amounts, able to transform the valley between Somiâs tits into a canal.Â
âYou two are so fucking stupid, fuck, fuck your hot bodies.â
You are starting to lose it, for every word they utter, your intelligence gets insulted but your arousal heightened. You spank Yunaâs ass and she tightens to the point where you need to give it your all to fuck her faster. What an odd time to notice that they havenât told you their task yet. How can you help them get points? Shit, what was in the script again? Are you really that much smarter if you canât remember?
âYuna, Yuna, that feels so good,â Somi moans out and sways on the floor from side to side until you press Yuna right on top of her. With their incredible bodies entangled and you nonstop fucking into the tight ass, their sensitive spots have to rub each other, nipples on nipples, clits on clits, and Somi is the first to collapse. âOh my God, I-Iâm about to wet my panties, oh no, Yuna!â
âMe too, my butt, Iâm going to cum from my butt!â Yunaâs silly fucked body, and her silly face and her silly feminine voice have you on the verge to become silly as well. Both blondeâs indulge in their wet, heavy orgasms and you push your tip back into Yuna so many times that you flood her with a pent up load that momentarily shuts down your brain.
So this is how they feel all the timeâbrainless but blissful. At least stupid bitches fuck good.
âOh, Somi, there, there is so much in my ass~â
âReally? Can I feel it?â
Somi puts two fingers against Yunaâs puckered hole, but before she can get a scoop of your load that is still hidden in the tightly clenching butt, Yuna stands up. âNo, Somi, ew,â Yuna shouts, moans, something in between, again. âYou have to eat it straight from the butt, like this.â
You are back in the hub room, all the rooms finally open. Before you make your way to the last room, you decide to take a quick look into each scene youâve already participated in that only users that buy the premium pass (which is off 69%, only today on k-jizzers.cum) can still watch:Â
In the first room, Wonyoung and Yiren sit on the edge of the bed, fingering each other's pussies until they violently squirt all over the mattress. Both of them look sweaty and exhausted, but they continue to drink water and share saliva to go for another round. Stay hydrated, everyone.
âLetâs do this, Barbie, I know your tiny body can cum again!â
âO-okay, b-but only if you kiss me.â
In the second room, Swan is fully naked, her backside turned to you. She is tied to the metal bars with handcuffs on both of her wrists. Below her is Gahyeon, thrusting a dildo up into that tiny tight cunt, while her own hole is stuffed with a loud bullet vibrator. They are really committed to this game.
âI swear, Swan, if you cum again, Iâll kick your ass, literally!â
âS-sorry, Mommy, I try, try, tryâIâm so close!â
In the third room, well, those blondes finally found a way to snowball your cum, not from mouth to mouth, but ass to mouth. Yuna sits on Somiâs face, head thrown back, unable to not moan as your white spunk oozes out of her. Bon Appetit.Â
âOh God, donât put your tongue in!â
âBut he tastes so good, let me be greedy this one time.â
The final room is a classroom, unmistakably. It has an old blackboard, a long desk for the teacher, smaller desks and chairs for the pupils. No matter when or where youâve been to school, this will surely evoke memories of forgotten homework, endless lessons and bratty students.
 âEw, is that the new guy?â you hear someone complain from across the room, disgust in her voice, fingernails rapidly typing on her phone.Â
âOh yeah, but what did you expect? At least he gives some big dick energy,â a response follows promptly, though this time they both look up from their phones and stare at you. You quickly find coverage behind the teachers desk to hide your manhood. A miserable attempt that has one of the girls outraged.Â
âAyo, what the fuck? Do you think youâre some kind of teacher now?â
âMaybe he is here to teach us a lesson, lol.â
Did the girl on the left, in her messed up blouse and way-too-short checkered skirt, the waistband of a light brown thong on display, just like her midriff and navelâdid she just say âlolâ out loud? Well, at this point the viewer will neither cringe or notice, too good is this material, too hot their bodies.Â
âMaybe he is here to teach you a lesson for breaking the dress code,â the girl adds as she approaches the desk.Â
âYeri, youâyouâre worse than me! Everyone can see your bra, what the fuck,â the other girl shouts and goes in for a slap on Yeriâs butt. The impact has you peeking out as a small melee breaks out.
âAt least I tried, Yeojin, unlike you. Where is your skirt, your blouse? I can almost see your tits.â Yeri reaches for Yeojinâs chest, which is covered by this tiny, one piece swimsuit, so tiny in fact, even Yeojinâs small body seems to spill out of it. When there is so much shortness, of course Yeojinâs shorts are no different. Her shorts are actually shorter than Yeriâs skirt, which is already quite shortâ
âYou tried?â Yeojin shrieks and tugs at Yeriâs blouse, accidentally undressing her. Who could have known, the bra below is actually a bikini top. âItâs falling off of your body.â
âTs,
âHey, you fucker! Get out already, we got some beef to settle.â
Yeri kicks the desk and you hear pencils roll down from it. They surely have not forgotten about you and your assumed big dick energy, so it was no use to continue hiding. You crawl out and straighten your posture, clearly taller than the two young women who donât waste time looking up and gawking at the height difference. Both sets of hands go straight to your abdomen, your crotch, your cock. Yeojin is the first to pump, rubbing her fishnet sleeves carelessly over your sensitive tip.
âWatch it,â you hiss and get fistfuls of their hair, which to your surprise does not faze them at all. âYou two are running your mouth, spewing bullshit. This is no way how you should treat people older and taller than you.â
Yeri frees herself easily from your grasp and you gasp when her knuckles dig into your stomach. It wasnât really a punch, but somehow, she has you stunned. A smirk appears on her feisty features. âWatch it, asshole. This is our classroom, youâre the one below us. If you want some respect, donât flex with your height. Flex with something else. Proof your worth.â
âO-oh yeah? And how should I do this?â
âFuck us,â Yeojin casually says and pulls back the skin on your cock to the point it hurts and all the surging blood forces you to peak stiffness. âYou get points for every position, the more creative, the better. Show us that this thing is more âdo-erâ than âshow-erâ.â
Their eyes are the epitome of âfuck-meâ eyes, hell, they imagined fucked you the moment you entered, and in your mind, youâve fucked them in every conceivable way possible. With all this imaginary fuckery, itâs about due time for the real fucking to start, though itâs definitely bugging you that these small, bratty girls get to start it off and lead the way.Â
Guess your positions have to be rough.
âFine,â you sigh and get ready to push Yeojin down to her knees, but there is no need. She takes the short fall and her lips aggressively wrap around your tip before you can overthink your decision.Â
âNo need to agree, it wasnât up to you anyway,â Yeri laughs and you feel her fingers roam your upper body, everything from butt, back, nape to stomach and chest. She lingers there for a long time, cupping your pecs while you imagine cupping her surprisingly big titsâthen Yeri dives in and starts to suck one of your nipples, while Yeojin bops her head back and forth.Â
âYou tiny bitches.â They make it hard to breathe, their sluttiness and sloppiness is excellent, their enthusiasm matches that of Wonyoung. âYou greedy, evil little things. Youâll regret that.â
âWeâll see about that,â Yeojin moans when your cock pops from her luscious lips and youâre back to receiving harsh, painful pumps from her fishnet clad hands. âWhatâs stopping you, huh?â
Nothing, really, so you donât keep them waiting any longer. You reach into the back of Yeriâs bikini bottoms while simultaneously finding a good grip on Yeojinâs ponytail. A bit of adjusting on both ends, suddenly there is nothing but sounds of horniness, of rampant, uncensored sex. Well, there is of course a lot more than that, but who could think of anything elseâ
âbut Yeojinâs cock-sucking lips sucking cock. They are the only thick thing on this miniscule rookie pornstar. You jerk your hips forward and her nose meets your base. You keep it that way as her tight throat struggles with your size and saliva spills from her lips.Â
Yeojinâs gags seem to turn on Yeri, her wet pussy dripping on your fingers as you rub it, never too fast, to keep her on the edge toâyeah, teach her a lesson. Look at that needy face, that heaving bosom, she is so desperate for more stimulation, but could never admit to it. Yeriâs pride keeps her from begging for your fingers to twirl inside her cunt.
âIs that really how you want to do it?â Thatâs as close to a beg as you will get from Yeri, nonetheless, youâll give her more rubs. All this struggle is unbeknownst to the viewer, who can only see Yeriâ ecstatic face and wide open mouth as you finally insert two digits in her cunt. âThatâs better, fuck.â
âRide my fingers, Yeri. Impress me, and Iâll fuck you on the desk.â
âYou, you will either way,â she chirps back, voice about to break when you thrust knuckles deep and curl, all while making Yeojin your sex doll.Â
Those gags of hers have become too dangerous though, so you take a step back and intensely watch as Yeojin coughs up lots and lots of saliva, letting it run down her pretty little face, her throat that was just stuffed like some obscene christmas chicken. In disbelief you watch her wipe her tears away and grin on, as if she wasn't just fighting for her life. Nothing can get Yeojin down, her brattiness is unreal.
Yeri does not seem amused at the lack of attention you give her. She pulls your hand out of her pussy and waddles towards the desk. In a burst of creativity, you grab her and slam her on the desk, on her back. Yeri winces in pain, but you already have her entrance exposed and filled before she can complain. And complain, she shall never again.
âFuck, so big, be ca-care-ful!â
âNow thatâsâoh God, youâre tightânow thatâs not what I expected from you,â you groan manically, as you pin Yeri down with both your eyes and hands. âShut up and take it. I want to see your tits bounce.â
Out of nowhere, Yeojinâs thin hand creeps under the thin string of Yeriâs bikini top and pulls it off. Finally, you can see those modest breasts swing freely while you do what youâre best at: plunging your fat cock into a wet cunt. Yeri moans, in a deep craze, deep pleasure, her hips grind in circles so you have to pin her down harder, hands in the soft flesh above those hipsâjust fuck faster and lose your mind.
âYeri, your pussy looks so full,â Yeojin giggles and brushes stray hair out of her friendâs ecstatic face. âDonât tell me youâre already about to cum?â
âNo-no, neverââ
âOh great, cuz I wonât let you,â you promptly say and pull out of that stretched hole, gaped and absolutely desperate for an orgasm that was right around the corner. A few more pumps and Yeri would have been gone, her first on cam climax was so close.
But now itâs Yeojinâs turn. After all you want those pointsâor is it their points? You donât care, you just hook your arms underneath her thighs and pick her up. Sheâs as light as she looks and her pink cavern is as snug as you anticipate. Yeojin holds onto your neck for stability, while you split her open further and further and when she leans into you, you feel your cock bulge her.
âFuck, fuck, thatâs the spot.â Use Yeojin like a fleshlight, an upgrade to her sex doll mouth, and she surrenders to the pleasure. Wasnât this supposed to be Team Bratty or something? This is moreâ
âTeam Cockhungry, absolute sluts,â you shout at her but Yeojin is just mindless and her lips quiver anxiously whenever youâre not guiding her small body up and down your cock. âYeri, get on the wall. Present your ass to me, if you want this cock again.â
Yeri nods, only focused on you. She needs a second to find orientation again, while you make Yeojin lose all orientation as you spin her around and fuck her full nelson. An insane idea by the producers, stand and carry sex for the finale, but with a girl this small, itâs actually possible. You are still the unrestrained engine that pistons and pistons until Yeojin is ready to burst.
âNot yet, not yet,â you coo as you ruin yet another orgasm. A wet pop when you remove yourself from what could be a perfect hole for cockwarming, breeding and many other lewd adventures. The industry will empty their pockets to get a video with this pocket pussy girl. But for now, she is all yours and quite dismayed.
âYou, you dick, better make it up later,â Yeojin says, voice deeply judgemental. It has to be ignored, because first, you have to make it up for a certain someone who wasnât satisfied with your fingers or a short missionary fuck. Yeri needs you again, deep and hard, while her fragile legs try to keep her upright.
You watch the side of her face, the lip bite, the palms flaking off the wallpaper, the thighs trapping you and your cock is already on her labia. Yeri rubs her love juice all over your rod and you follow her plea and take the lead with a thrust that can be heard around the world.
âFuck, itâs deep, your cock is deep in my pussy.â The disbelief in her voice sounds genuine, just like the attempt to crawl up the wall to drop back down on your cock. Yeri wants you to hit her cervix, finally cumming all over you but you need to savor this position more.
âDeeper than anything else.â A hand in her hair, you press everything of her against the wall. âI know you like it deep, your best spots are there. Youâre a slut for large cocks, you only want them while standing up.â
âNo, I need them to pick me up! Lift me up and fuck me, break me open deeeeep!â
Yeri must have been so envious of Yeojin. You might have picked the wrong girl to lift on high and fill from below. You can still make it up though; Yeriâs tits are repurposed as handles to pull her back onto your chest, feet suddenly flying. You might be blinded by strands of her hair all over your face, but you can still feel the weight of Yeri down on your cock, while youâre still drilling into her. She is getting higher, not only physically, but mentally. She loves nothing more than to be watched while a huge shaft fucks her. The stimulation sends her into a sea of bliss, a deep ocean, like the puddle of girl cum beneath your feet.Â
âIâm going to cum on your cock,â Yeri screams and tries to choke out a load from your balls, yet all she is choking you with is her hair on your face. âI love it, y-you can finish with meââ
The last time the camera captured someone cum so hard was about thirty minutes ago, either Wonyoung or Yiren, but unlike Team Princess next door, Yeri does it involuntarily. You pound the squirt out of her sloppy cunt until your legs become a slippery lubed mess and you almost slip on the cheap classroom floor. Yeri shouts and whines, the inside of her pussy still rippling when you pull out of it.
When you place Yeri back against the wall and feel the somewhat cold studio air brush past your erection, you realize that Yeri was close to getting you off too early. You are throbbing, surfing on the edge, almost getting blue balled. The only thing that can save you is Yeojin and the only thing you see is her ass, as she props herself up on all fours in between the chairs ofâ
Who counts chairs and who fucking cares? Just slam your cock into her ass and hear her screech in shock at the sudden fullness of her back entrance. There will be no ruined orgasm for you this time, Yeojinâs ass is your guarantee and you doubt her brattiness will return. Not when she moans so submissively. A question remains as you bury yourself repeatedly in Yeojinâs rectum: how can she be shocked when it's all lubed up and relaxed and eager to take you back inside like the pussy of a veteran porn star?
Yeojin really was born for this job. Her petite frame will be perfect for various porn sites related to kinks: size difference, stand and carry, small tits. The videos of her getting bulged will become legendary amongst the horniest or Reddit and Tumblr communities. Guys will have their way with her, her head will be spinning after some huge guys have her unconventionally spitroasted in the air or one of those tall, muscular women takes her for a ride on a strap-on.Â
They wonât have to worry about anal from her, because Yeojin takes it legendarily, narrowing at just the right time to go beyond the audio-visual perfection that is her penetrated assâin simpler words, it feels as good as it looks. She can rival Yuna or maybe form some butt slut dream team, thatâs how fucking amazing fucking her ass is.
âYeri get back here, Iâm close,â you promptly announce whilst scoring again by forcing Yeojin into a prone position and marking her shoulders with tender bites. Yeri struggles to find footing, only able to push forward because of all the tables and chairs. When she finally reaches you, you give Yeojin your final pumps as her entire frame is struck by an orgasmic earthquake.Â
In this day and age, everything has to be fast, even porn has to fit the 15 second shorts, reels, tiktok culture, so you start to cum in Yeojin and push Yeri to the ground at the same time. Then you reach for Yeriâs butt while holding back as many spurts as you can, to get her in this sweet piledriver and then paint both the outside and inside off her petite yet bubbly ass. Itâs perfect for a short clip, that little teaser that plays when youâre about to click on the next JAV thumbnail on that shady site.
The HD or 4K settings across all screens can never do the real sight of a blissfully filled Yeri justice, as she eagerly spreads her own cheeks and everyone gets the awesome view of cum that seeps out of a gaped ass. The upside down (pretty, little, risky) baddie cleans off that hard-working cockwith her formerly bratty mouth. Deep exhales through her nose send a nice, warm stream of air around your base, which finally loses stiffness, the tension, it comes crashing down in the well-known post-nut clarity.
In this clarity however, you find Yeriâs final defiance; her lips will not let go of your cock and her tongue on your sensitive slit makes you curl your toes and whine out the agony which shoots up to your head like electric shocks. To top it all off, you feel Yeojin grin behind you when she wraps her slender arms around your midriff. This wasnât in the script!
âThe shooting might be over,â the tiny girl whispers. âBut we are not done with you.â
âThere are still a lot of points to be collected.Â
TW: kinda rough, pure, stupid smut, ass eating, eating cum out of ass
-Part 1- -Part 2- -Part 3-
(A/N: the most likely final part of the On her series. This fic is very mindless lmao. Important announcement at the end.)
âYes, Daddy, that feels so good!â
Hanniâs enthusiasm is almost limitless. No matter how often youâve ordered her to your office or your apartment or some secluded bed and breakfast, she never let you down. No, the only thing âdownâ is the momentum of her hips whenever she rides you on the couch, her beautiful ass turned towards you. She loves to make it wiggle when your cock fills her cunt.
You take delight in such a sight and give her the good-girl-spanks she deserves. Hanni craves them as much as she craves your eyes, seeing nothing but love in hers. There is nothing stopping her from leaving, you never demanded the same things from her then you did from Minji. But where Minji lacks endless love and desire for you, Hanni fills these gaps and then some.Â
âOh my God, Daddy, you-youâre gonna make me cum again!â Hanniâs throat is sore from her moans and screams (and the rough face fuck you gave her earlier). âI-I canât hold it!â
âWhy would you hold it?â you ask her and pull her back against your bare chest. âRuin yourself all over me, you slut.â
You give her thrusts, quick, not too strong and that is all she needs. Her effort was remarkable but in the end she wants you to fuck her over the edge. Hanniâs pussy convulses around your cock, tries to milk it and you are about to give in when your cell phone rings.Â
âFuck,â you curse and pick it up while dropping a powerless Hanni to the carpet floor. âWho is this?â
âYo, have you turned on the TV?â the person on the other end, some former manager of a group you were interested in, asks. âToday are the MAMA awards.â
âAnd? Theyâve been the same for basically forever. And you know I donât have any control overââ
âOh no, another group has won.â You can hear the smirk on his lips. âI bet youâve heard the song and the groupâsome of them are under your wings, I assume?â
For a moment you are confused, then it dawns on you brightly. âYou could say that,â you respond calmly and look at one of those who are under your wingsâthough under your cock fits better. âLet me be honest, I did not think that they would make it this far.â
âTheir success is unheard of, they must have paid you really well,â he continues knowingly. The kind of business you do is in a paradoxical state of infamously known and also a dark secret in the industry. Itâs a tightly knit conspiracy where every wrong step, every wrong turn can cost you basically everything.Â
âMaybe they have to offer me something new, a MAMA win does not come around very often.â
#
âCongratulations on your win. I bet this is part of every trainee's dreamâ Sent by you
âThank you, Daddy~ It definitely is, but Iâm certain we couldnât have done it without you â Sent by Hanni
You smirk and scroll through your gallery. There is a picture youâve saved, a picture of something you want. Some people screenshot what they want from social media apps or shopping sitesâyou will do the same right now, though your picture does not include a product one can buy.Â
âI found this picture of you and one of your friends. She is very attractive.â Sent by you
âI know, Danielle ist so damn pretty <3â Sent by Hanni
âHer prettiness equals probably two MAMA awardsâŠâ Sent by you
That should do it. Hanni is probably stunned right now. If Danielle is next to her, she probably looks at herâyour terrible influence deeply rooted in Hanniâs mindâand she will see what you see: another object for your desire, another girl you can train to make your personal fuck doll, another idol sold by her bandmate. Unlike Minji, Hanni might actually like the idea.Â
You wait patiently as she ponders, typing, then deleting message after message until she settles for a simple text that makes this unhinged, lustful being inside you lose any and all control.
âDaddy deserves his reward as soon as possible. We need just 20 to 30 minutes~â Sent by Hanni
With a victorious sigh, you throw away your smartphone. It audibly cracks on the floor, but you donât give a fuck. Phones can be bought again, but what you will get, no one can buy. These next twenty minutes will feel like hours and every second beyond that will make you lose your mind. Atleast, that is what you would have to assume if it werenât for someone suddenly sneaking into your apartment.Â
Timid, quiet steps. The person is not wearing shoes. You hear the door fall shut, gently and suddenly, she stands in your doorframe. As if your life was a script, written by a higher being which, for some reason, likes your story to be filled with as much sexual fulfillment as possible, Minji has decided to come visit you.Â
âHello, Daddy,â she coos, catching your gaze with the way she presses her frame against the door frame. Her two piece outfit with all its white frays perfectly merges with said door frame, the warm light making it look like she could disappear in your walls. âIâm sorry for not announcing myself, but may I come in?â
âThat depends,â you say, trying to act not-too-happy about her convenient timing. âItâs nice to see you barefooted and in this pretty outfitâbut you need to approach the right way.â
âOf course, Daddy.â
Minji gets on her knees. She begins to crawl over your wooden floor and seeing her eager eyes has you riled up. Instead of waiting for her to unbuckle your belt, you open it on your own and let your pants drop when her face reaches your crotch. Minji moans gently and presses her face against the massive bulge in your boxers. Sheâs not really teasing you. Itâs more of a ceremony, because Minji quickly proceeds to pull down your boxers with nothing but her teeth.
âDaddy, itâs so big and beautiful,â Minji says in all honesty, her idol persona washed away by her own horniness. âMay I service you with my mouth?â
âStick out your tongue,â you order and Minji follows. You slap your tip on the exposed wet muscle and watch her faintly smile at how excited you seem. âLooks really good, how could I say no?â
No warning and just a moment later, you are buried to the hilt in Minjiâs throat. She gags violently, her head tilted backwards and her wide eyes quickly release a torrent of tears. You donât comment on it, watch on with a cold, resting bitch face and begin to fuck her face roughly. Itâs hard thrust after hard thrust; not too fast though, because you want to see the submission steadily grow in her eyes.
âFucking good, so much better since you started taking my cock like a premium whore,â you hiss and reach for the sides of her head. She locks eyes with you and through a sea of tears, you can see that she is happy. Still happy. âBut it wonât be enough. I need more, another hole, and Iâm not talking about your pussy. I know that you are dripping from there, but Iâm going to split you open somewhere else.â
You pull out and watch Minji try to catch her breath, shocked, weak; she gets no time to recover however. You grab her hair and slide back into her not-awaiting, but slave-like throat. She takes your pounding even as it forcefully removes her faint mascara and leaves her a drooling mess. Itâs Minjiâs masterclass in deepthroatsâa fitting end, because you will fuck something else today.
After many harsh thrusts, too many to count, but enough to have Minji at your complete mercy, you pull out. She bends over, tries to keep her composure and breathe, but you wonât allow this. She has to look at you and understand what you desire. You slap her face and spit at it. âDonât avoid me, look at me!â you shout and Minji is tiny. A kneeling tiny bitch who follows your commands. âI will fuck your ass, do you understand?â
âYes, Master,â Minji cries and puts her forehead to the floor. âTha-Thank you for the award, Ma-Master. Please, a-abuse my ass.â
Not that it tugs at your heartstrings or anythingâbut instead of just fucking her in this state of complete devastation, you help her up, to her feet and cup her cheek firmly⊠almost gently. Minji still sobs, barely able to look up at you.
âYou are here to thank me with your ass? That is actually adorable and very thoughtful of you.â
âI-I thought, because Master hasnât fucked me th-there yet, and because he probably did with Hanni already, Iââ
âOh, I understand, but Minjiââ You lean down to her ear and whisper, while your hand travels down her bare midriff into the dress and finds her folds, soaked in arousal. ââwe are already past the Master stage. And you underestimate my greed, my desire for more, infinitely more. Donât worry about that though. Get on the couch and show me your cute little asshole.â
âO-okay. Thank you, Daddy.â
As Minji lays down and wiggles off the bottom part of her dress, you get a bottle of water-like lube from a drawer in the living room table. These bottles are always nearby because situations like this have occurred quite a few times in your life. More than you can count, enough to make you the biggest villain for every girl group fan.
When you pour the lube on your cock, you inspect Minji and her cute posture. She is on her back, legs spread and in the air, while her fingers keep her butt cheeks apart. Her ring twitches and it twitches more when you rub lube all over it. Minji mewls, and mewls some more when you push a finger past the first tightness to lube the inside as well.
âYou are a bit stiff, you need to loosen up or else it will hurt.â
âIsnât it supposed to hurt?â Minji asks in all honesty. âIâm okay with Daddy hurting me, as long as he feels good.â
You have to hold back or else you wouldâve laughed at her innocent expression and the confused fear in her orbs. You align your cock with her ass, not to immediately force yourself inside that hot, tight hole, but to teach Minji how to take you well.
âIf you relax, Minji, I promise it will feel good. Weird at first, probably too big, but the more you loosen up and let your asshole become a source for pleasure, it will feel great.â
âHanni probably already knows this,â Minji mumbles in shame. You quickly reach for her jaw and put a chaste kiss on her lips.
âTo be honest, I havenât even fucked her ass before, so stop worrying. Take deep breaths and stay re-laxed.â With those final words, you wait for Minji to follow your instructionsâbreathe in; breathe outâbefore you push your cock into her brown hole.
âOh Daddy, fuck,â Minji groans, right into your face and you love how her hands start to hold onto your back, your arms as you push more cock into her. âYou are so, so big!â
âThere is still more, but you are doing a great job, Minji,â you respond calmly, lifting up her ass a bit to penetrate her deeper. âSoon, youâll love this more than anything.â
âDaddy!â Your cock is fully inside her and Minji seems to go crazy, her head thrown back into the couch, her mouth releasing loud moans rapidly. Her anal cavity squeezes you tightly, tries to wring you and itâs insanely impressive. She takes you fully on the first go and slowly catches herself. âI-it feels weird but sooooââ
âGood, right? I can feel you relax, so I will start to fuck you for real now. Congratulations, youâre not a butt virgin anymore!â
Minji weakly laughs and then gasps when you drag your cock mostly out of her ass just to push it back in, deep, to the fucking hilt. You watch as her eyes open wide, then narrow, then close, all in the rhythm of your pumps. Her cunt drips more juice too, she cannot deny the pleasure.
âDaddy, why, why do you feel so good?â Minji screams. âWhy, your cockâyou made me your butt slut!â
âYouâre a natural at this, most of your kind quickly become addicted.â
âMake me addicted, Daddy! Please, use this hole and make meââ
You reach underneath her frayed top and pinch a hard nipple, while your teeth go for her lower lip. You can feel her insides combust, her ass clenching around your cock, her pussy convulsing around nothing, yet it is enough to make her cum. Minji is orgasming from just her ass, but she tries to hide it.Â
âThere is nothing to be embarrassed about,â you laugh and begin to fuck Minji harder, her ankles in your firm hands. âCum with your ass and be mine forever. You cannot escape anyways, so why would you want to? Donât run from the pleasure, because I wonât stop fucking you untilââ
Suddenly, you hear a key in the lock of your front door and someone whispering. Then quiet steps. Minji grows tense but you just smile at her, reassure her that there is nothing to be scared off. âOh, you know these two, donât worry~âÂ
âHuh?â
You look up and spot the first girl, Hanni, who smirks when she sees you. She puts a finger to her luscious lips and winks. You get her idea and press your palm on Minjiâs mouth to keep her quiet while you slowly thrust into her tight ass. The young girl is visibly shocked that you just continue, but her shock grows even more when she spots the second girl.
âUnnie, this is weird. How long do I have to wear this blindfold?â
âJust a little bit longer~ We are almost there, just a few more steps.â
Hanni guides the blind Danielle, a beautiful, skinny girl dressed in what you assume is a stage or award show outfit. Either way you love how exposed her midriff and collarbone are. Danielleâs skin is flawless and her face looks even better than in pictures or videos.
The two get closer. Hanni is now behind the taller girl and guides her by holding her hips. The two seem familiar with this kind of intimacy. You quietly pull out of Minjiâs butt and luckily, she stays quiet in this tense situation.Â
âDani, we have arrived,â Hanni giggles and wraps her hands around her friendsâ tiny waist. âI have a present for you, but you have to get on your knees and guess what it is~â
âUnnie, if itâs your pussy againâwe already did that! And if you want to fuck, you can just ask!â
You raise an eyebrow at Hanni who is clearly nervous and sweating. She got caught fucking with a second member of her group without your permission. You canât really blame her. You canât wait to stick your cock into that tight body and fuck Danielleâs mouth with your fingers. But for now, you let Hanni finish her game.
âThis time,â she continues and kisses Danielleâs shoulder. âItâs something different. I have found the biggest, most beautiful cock because I know you would want to suck one of those someday.â
Danielleâs pale skin starts to burn with a deep red. All of her blood seems to go to her face. She starts to lose focus and whimpers a bit, especially because Hanni becomes more touchy, hands on her chest, her tummy, her ass.
âH-how did you know, Unnie?â
âYou are really, really bad at hiding your dildoâs, Dani. I found like four of them. One still had your saliva around it~â
Danielle puts both hands to her face and lowers it in shame. Everyone in the room can still feel the glow of her blush through her fingers. You stroke your cock once, amused at the situation, but also tired of waiting. Hanni notices and continues her plan quickly.
âLook, Dani, Iâll show you how to do it.â Hanni lowers herself in between your legs. For the first time, you check out her outfit. Odd, you remember it from some performances a few months agoâdoes it really matter when she immediately goes to suck you, throat you even? âOh my, it tastes so good! I wonder why that is?â
You point to Minjiâs still exposed asshole and Hanni smirks knowingly. Poor Minji did not dare to move a single inch this entire time but now with Hanniâs loud gagging filling the room, she can stop being quiet and move her hands to cover up.
âU-unnie, are you really sucking it?â Danielle asks the obvious, still in disbelief. âIs it a real one, like, are you sucking a boy?â
Hanni pops you free from her perfect lips and makes sure to taste all of the lube and Minjiâs ass from your manhood with her tongue. She cleans you passionately, from sac to tip until you finally give her a bit of precum.Â
âDani, he is a man, a Daddy. Trust me, he is very good looking and his cock is even better~â Hanniâs voice is so lewd, it feels cursed with her adorable visuals. You relish in her compliments and brush her black strands back behind her ear. âKneel next to me and I show you.â
Danielle kneels down, her small frame taking the spot in between your legs next to Hanni. She is still confused though. âBut Unnie, how can you show me if Iâm not allowed to remove the blindfold?â
Hanni rolls her eyes and without warning, grabs Danielleâs face and pulls her into a kiss. The younger girl flails in surprise, finds hold on your thigh, but somehow she canât hold onto it for long. Maybe the thought of a stranger really seeing her like this makes her lose grip on the situationâa good thing in your book.
âHa-Hanni-unnie!â Danielle shrieks when their lips disconnect. âWhy, why did that taste so good?âÂ
âIf you want more, you need to suck and clean his cock like I did. Here, open your pretty mouth and be a good girl for Daddy~â
âYou say weird stuffâugh, hng!â
You groan softly when Hanni not-so-softly pushes Danielleâs face down your cock. A new, sensational throat engulfs you. Of course you expected violent gags and tears coming from behind the blindfold, how could you not. Hanni is literally forcing Danielle to deepthroat you for the first time. Her dildo training seems to have paid off however: Danielle is a lot more composed, measured even and makes sure to keep her teeth off of you.Â
Soon, she finds her own pace and bops up and down your shaft, using her tongue from time to time without yet knowing where it actually feels good for you. Itâs hard for her to learn when she canât read your facial expression, so she just guesses and sucks and bops her head. It makes it all the more impressive how she can keep up with you and do a better job than Minji did on her first try.
âHanni-unnie,â Danielle immediately shouts after getting her mouth off of your dick. âThat was very mean of you, like, what theââ
You interrupt the young, angry girl by giving her blindfold a tug and watching it fall off of her dazzling, still flushed features. You smirk down at her as she watches up in awe, her eyes inspecting you like you did to her earlier.
âOh, he-hello, sir,â Danielle says and tries to be formal while your cock is still on her lips. âIâm sorry we just walked into here and⊠about this.â She points at your hard shaft which you take in your hand and poke against her soft cheek.
âDonât worry about it, you beautiful thing. In fact, I should be sorry about this right here.â You point next to you, where Minji tries to cover up her pussy. âHope you donât mind.â
âYou, you had sex with Minji-unnie? Like, i-in her vagina?â
âOh Dani,â Hanni coos and puts a hand into Danielleâs red top. âYou donât know how good a real cock feels in your pussy. Way better than a dildo.â
âStop being so lewd, Unnie!â
âBut you two are wrong,â you interrupt them and look at Minji, who valiantly fights through her embarrassment. There is nothing to be embarrassed about though; she did great taking your cock in her ass. âWe had anal sex just now, and I think I speak for us both when I say that it was awesome.â
Hanni pouts at the thought of not yet having you in her ass while Danielle is both struck by horror and thrill when she cross-eyes your cock and then switches to look at Minjiâs butt, which you uncover for her.
âMinji-unnie, was it really that good?â Danielle asks with wide open eyes.
âYeah, how was it?â Hanni adds and involuntarily adds pressure for the leader to answer.
âI-it was⊠the best.â
A moment of silence and awkwardness for Minji until Danielle jumps up and pulls down her black skirt. Another unexpected turn, she seems to be ready to go asap. âSir, can youâwould you have sex with my butt too?â
âI thought youâd never ask,â you try to play it cool and reach for the bottle of lube. âTurn around, we need to get you ready.â
âHere, let me help you, Daddy.â Hanni gets a hold of Daniâs ass as soon as she spins around and spreads the cheeks apart. Dani gasps at first, but then giggles when she finds her Unnie to be already naked. She starts to kiss Hanniâs skin while you put the nozzle to her beautiful, clean ring and push lube inside. Danielle shudders while Hanni looks on with jealousy. It will be her turn soon enough though.Â
âYou have a gorgeous body, Dani,â you compliment her before grabbing her waist and pulling her onto you. âYou are so light, I think I need to try a new position with you. Are you down for that?â
âSir, Iâif itâs not too crazy, I think I can do it. But remember, this is my first time.â
âYou have to be relaxed, Dani,â Minji suddenly adds and stands next to her, not covering her private parts anymore. âIf you are tense, itâs going to hurtâwhen you are loose however, Daddy can fuck you so good, it will feel like heaven.â
âO-okay then, I think Iâm ready.â
You nod and lay down on the couch, Danielle on top of you. She rests her back on your strong chest and your hard cock searches for her tight asshole. Luckily, Hanni is there to help align your tip with it (not before sucking it of course). Dani takes deep breaths instinctively and with your primal instinct to fuck, your cockhead disappears in her ass.
âOh fuck, that looks so hot!â Hanni coos.
âStop staring, please,â Danielle whimpers and you feel her incredible texture convulse around your aroused phallus. No, she definitely gets turned on by this, so youâll make it even better.
âHanni, keep staring,â you order. âOh, and make your mouth useful on my ass. See it as punishment for having sex with Dani without my permission.â
âYes, Daddy, Iâm sorry Daddy.â
âSir, isnât this too lewd?â Dani asks while you begin to rock her thin body up and down your cock like itâs a fleshlight.Â
âMinji, how about you lick Danielleâs pussy. Make yourself familiar with it.â
âYes, Daddy, she tastes really sweet and is quite⊠wet.â Minji smiles and you get what she means. Her mouth is promptly on Daniâs clit and now the two are moaning in unison. Your thrusts into Daniâs ass become harder.
âOh dang, so much in my a-aâ, I mean butt,â she whispers and you look at her face. âSir, you are one lewd bastâ person. Making young girls do this stuff. Arenât you a bit too old for us?â
âMaybe that is why they call me Daddy,â you respond, the humor lost because your expression remains stern even through the pleasure. âDonât hold back, curse as much as you want. This is no tv show or live stage. Get used to this cock, because I wonât stop after this one time.â
âI wonât either, you fucking bastard.â
Your lips meet in a haze, then you decide to give it your all. You fuck Dani hard, force more and more curse words out of her good-girl-mouth. Her cunt is forced against Minjiâs eager lips, while you make sure Hanni is covered in your muskâthough she kinda seems to enjoy serving your ass. Even after all this, she might still be the best baby girl out of this trio.
âYes, fuck, yes, you fill my tiny ass so good! Fuck me with your big fat cock, give me that cock, open me so wide until Iââ
âYou horny bitch.â You yank down her top to reveal tiny tits, jiggling a little at your every thrust. Her skin is glowing, she is in complete heat. Danielle is a nymph with a tight ass and a pussy so wet, she can save someone from dehydration. You want to test your theory, if her orgasm is as explosive as you want it to be.
âMy Lord, Iâm so going to fucking cum, I will cum! Make me squirt, make me fucking, ahh!â
Like a fountain, Danielleâs juices paint Minjiâs face, cover her hair and even Hanni below. She also doesnât stop, not with your endless thrust into her ass. She is like an infinite source, eventually filling Minjiâs mouth and marking Hanni as a dirty, rimming whore covered in girl cum.
âThat was so good, Sirââ
âWe are not yet done!â You squeeze Dani to your chest so she cannot escape and start to violate her ass some more, to the point your entire cock stretches her in all directions. For some reason, you feel like you could breed this hole for two eternities, but for now, one massive load has to be enough.Â
With your final, deepest of thrusts, you force all of your seed into Danielleâs tight ass-pussy, fill it up and make sure she is tight enough to keep it inside for now. Pulling out is hard but rewarding, and hearing, feeling her pant on top of you is heavenly.Â
âItâs so deep in me, fuck,â she moans and you bite her cheek.Â
âPush it out of your slutty hole, you naughty bitch.Â
âHanni, Minji! Get ready for your daily load!â
The two girls are under our spell, not questioning anything you say and stick out their tongue underneath Danielleâs butthole. You pull back her heels to give them more space and with an blissful, erotic expression, Dani lets her ass be gaped. Your creamy white cum oozes out of her and Minji and Hanni greedily eat it all up, even getting their tongues into the completely overstimulated girl and cleaning her butthole.
âShit, this is so lewd,â Dani whimpers and you put a hand around her throat.
âAfter I fuck Hanniâs ass in a rough Doggy, my heel on her face because I know she loves that, you will eat my cum out of her ass too. And donât lie; I know you will like it.â
Danielle grins, licking her lips in excitement. âYou are such a nasty bastard, Daddy.â
(A/N2: here is the very short version, I'll release a longer announcement later this week probably. I have decided to quit for a while, maybe forever but that is still in the stars. I can still write and I kinda like it, but this endless cycle of horniness and unhinged smut is killing me. I also need to focus on life/studies. More on that later this week. Love you all, peace out.)
