criste ferlin

𝘔𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘳𝘵 🪐

[positivelypositivethoughts]

[passionatelycuriousblog]

how many chances of you passing by

can i hold on to?

can i pin my hope when every time you do,

you are looking up and smiling?

calling my name and shoot me an imaginary arrow?

i would feel dumb feeling like this then eventually

discover how you never cared.

i wish i could say to you

what i truly feel but i act the opposite.

if you could see right through me,

you might revert back to the start.

i guess i'd much rather not talk to you than reach out

because i feel silly when i ask you something,

you don't even look back when you answer

returned home thinking about how much signs you've shown

being indifferent to me

a stranger i wish i only saw once

and not having to spare a space in my memory.

you said i’d forget you?

i hate you for saying it since you never even left my mind,

a short span of time was spared for us,

looking for a logic behind it

there must be a reason why it's you of all people

was it really just nothing and i’m wasting my

time?

i probably knew the answer all along

that’s why it’s hard to come forward to you

stare in your eyes

tell these three words

“I like you”

hoping you feel the same way

but i will continue writing,

as i have been for the things i couldn't say out loud,

for the people i couldn't touch

unable to grasp the palm of their hands

and for you, every time you don't hear a word from me

it’s when i have a lot to say

that i choose not to be bothered about it anyway.

- passionatelycuriousblog

[passionatelycuriousblog]

I found the tape of the song I used to sing with you

An ache suddenly pops through

A thrust in the heart, it made my smile frown a little bit

Peeking in this certain room where I shut vivid memories and dreams of you

Starved by silence and from the fact that the moments we shared will just be irrelevant as I am to you

Last night, I was reading your words to me that died long ago

It vanished even before I could say something to change your mind

A memory I keep on playing, like how my younger sibling kept on rewatching her favorite cartoon movies

Typhoon of thoughts

Thinking how a hug from you could've saved me nights of silent screams and crying

And if one day I could ask you if it had been different, would you come through?

Would you hold my hand and whisper words I wished to hear from you?

Drought may come

You’re a memory I ended up playing with

Rewinding

Wishing

Hoping

Praying

That I could change what had happened

That I can relive that moment

That I can feel again what it was like when it was happening

But that’s not how life works

Many things will come to you

People will walk with you

Temporarily

Permanently

It's either in your life or only in memory

There’s the happy part

And then the sad part too

And there was you and me

We’re both in different movie

Separated in every story

Once our world was one

And now forever apart

- passionatelycuriousblog

[passionatelycuriousblog]

At this time, I'll be home

In my room

After a long day of work

Reading, or making poems

Then tease my siblings

Get angry because no one is washing the dirty dishes in the sink

I would whine about how hard work is and I just want to quit, but I kept going

I know why I kept going despite everything

I think it's because at that span of time there were visions of green fields where I was happy

And the only word I hear is, "Finally"

I was miserable for a long time but I continued to wipe my tears because I know, deep inside, somewhere, I am genuinely achieving my dream

Where the road to my dreams is somehow reachable, only a few miles away

So I kept going

Until I am where I am right now, it's like an illusion where I thought this is it,

it's possible to happen

but,

I bounce back here, again in a corner, head face down tears streaming down

It's dark and quiet, I have no idea how to come out from this again

I thought my time had come, the bus I was waiting for passed me by again

- passionatelycuriousblog

and I thought life could get any cruel but right now I'm living that dream. I couldn't express in words how thankful I am to get here, I could cry streams of water now but setting that aside, everything was part of the process for me to be able to get here. I wish I could go home right now and read my journals in that season of my life to fully appreciate everything. 🫶

[passionatelycuriousblog]

In a puzzle

Trying to find the right words

To describe what is occuring around me

I am rarely lonely alone, rather lonelier around some people

I vividly remember one encounter where our eyes collided and we hold stare at each other for longer seconds

I thought that was weird but I wasn't interested in you so I ignored it

A compliment I must say, you're a sight to behold

A view everyone would be pleased to see

I won't lie, if we met on the street my eyes will find you

It would be unfair for you only to be liked because you're gorgeous

Typical tuesday you don't look special at all, but you were in my eyes

I hated feeling it, knowing we're friends and if you'd known you'll take a step away

Another weird occurrence was your eyes in the morning, they killed me

I long to see it everyday now

Interactions turned into something I look forward to everyday

Am I the only one?

It was a bad idea for my part to get close to you

You are a friend to me but then one day I was nervous around you, you were literally just doing what you normally do

Wearing the same clothes yet you're suddenly different in my point of view

How did you open doors I held close for so long?

No, the question would be, why did I let you just roam around without guarding myself?

How could I be so careless?

- passionatelycuriousblog

[thepersonalquotes]

““I don’t care anymore, but sometimes, it hurts just a little.” - Taya”

—

[passionatelycuriousblog]

The depth of longing you left me felt like an eternity, yet meeting you was like catching a glimpse of a large falling meteorite, a very rare phenomenon, it usually almost never happen but you were an unstoppable occurrence, and when you walked right through my gaze I never had a moment to sit down and think, oblivious to the passage of time, in a blink of an eye everything vanished. I vaguely remember everything, it was a catastrophic sight to see.

A fateful oversight I couldn't get pass but now it's just a useless memory I could write about and burn along with all its misspend feelings.

- passionatelycuriousblog

[passionatelycuriousblog]

My mind rushes to write about you tonight

half of it wants to forget the way your eyes hide when you laugh,

half of it flashes your smile and it takes me to a well lit town with lovely music and people dancing around.

I've walked through the wilderness and I believe you lighten my way, your existence softened my world, quite frankly I was unwary with you and you swiftly enter my walls.

You just existing you're unaware of it.

I never thought of you as someone I'll like and write about, but here we are.

I like to think about you as someone God sent, at night when I think about my life your face shows and it makes me smile.

It has been a long journey and there were times it's hard,

cruel,

painful,

even terrifying.

I have fought so many silent battles, frigid nights spent crying and you never knew because I didn't tell, but when I look back at it now all I can say is, my days were filled of laughter and smiles.

You make me smile.

Your jokes by the way are a little corny, how do your girlfriend react to it? If you have one.

I'd be the funny one between us.

I love your compliments and gestures. I guess you're used to it, your experiences must have been a handful.

We're walking together and your eyes wander around, I hate it when you land to someone beautiful.

I hate you for teasing me a lot but I miss it, your laugh after your jokes weren't a melody to be replayed but I like to hear it one more time.

When we're alone together silence scatters, tongue tied, do you have something to say?

Typical tuesday, you don't look special and yet in my eyes, you were.

Your eyes, specifically, they are tired I can see, drowned and growing weary,

but they are still pretty.

And if someone is making you smile lately, I hope she'll remind you of the good things you carry,

lighten your world like you did to me.

- passionatelycuriousblog

[passionatelycuriousblog]

I've got you clueless

And I'd still like to keep it a secret

Do you know how much I want to look deeply into your eyes?

And get lost in it forever

I know that's too much to say but yes, let me

- passionatelycuriousblog

[passionatelycuriousblog]

Rumors were flying

Penetrated this town

False alarm rang

Peaceful living turned into a struggle

The next day you are fine, but there are moments where you ask, "Why do we have to deal with this kind of bullshit?"

You try not to get struck by such mad thunder that had nothing to do with you

Only to get hit

A placid land or so I thought, where peace and love for each other prosper

But pests are everywhere

There's no way we could avoid destruction

Now, you see everyone but can't be sure,

if they are a friend or someone that just do what will benefit them.

- passionatelycuriousblog

[passionatelycuriousblog]

How do you sleep at night

Head stucked up arse

Doing fine after breaking someone's heart?

Tried to make yourself feel best

At the fact that you started this mess?

Do you casually just roam around?

Finding another girl to write all over her face

That she's something not worth having and not worth the wait

- passionatelycuriousblog

[passionatelycuriousblog]

Friday night of July

I heard him sing for the first time

He seems sad and his sky's blue

Cracking voice, heavy feeling

Wondering what it's like

To get what you deserve

- passionatelycuriousblog

[passionatelycuriousblog]

It was a hot afternoon

Sun's lighting up houses, almost burning them

My eyes were tired

Looking at the same places

I thought I saw you

Walking towards me with that smile of yours

I blinked more than the usual

It was a stranger

With new haircut

New girl

They asked me for directions

My heart's beating rapidly

How could you not remember me?

- passionatelycuriousblog

[passionatelycuriousblog]

Everyone is in love, waiting for someone, their past love to come back.

Filling in the hole,

it must be a blessing in disguise for me not to long for someone, to hurt at night from memories that are haunting and beautiful.

I sure wish there is someone whom I write for,

but all I have are ideas,

stories I've heard,

moments where I captured tiny pieces of how it felt like.

I do long for someone, but I don't dwell in there much anymore.

People enter your door and eventually leaves.

Bumping into each other on the street, a name you used to sweetly call.

Strange to know someone deeply and then they just become glowing in your memories.

- passionatelycuriousblog

[thepersonalquotes]

““I’m thinking that it might actually be possible for things to work out sometimes. Definitely not everything and maybe not the way you imagined. But sometimes, when you least expected it, life surprises you.” - Susane Colasanti”

—

[passionatelycuriousblog]

An attempt to write something new

It's what makes me smile lately

Trying to be oblivious as much as I can

Subtle hints to make you see but adequate enough for you not to actually see it

How hard is it to tell someone you adore them?

It's not hard

The aftermath of it is

Whether it'll be calmly rejected or accepted

I was unwary when your eyes met mine

8 seconds was it?

I'm not sure, but we both looked at each other's eyes for an unbelievably long seconds

Or was I just falling into delusions?

It wasn't just your looks, you might ask why I like you

It was when I got to know you and spend ample time with you

How passionate you are to lend your hand for your family

I'm sure your parents were good to you, no idea actually, but I hope they are

I only have the side of you where we're laughing and teasing

I'm sure you're more than that

Curious of how you get mad and how your girlfriend make it up to you

How you deal with difficult things and heal from it

A side of you I'd like to dig deep and make myself familiar

But it's something I'm not yet welcome

So I'll settle with the little moments

Until I get out of here, I'll let you know how I feel

I'm too anxious to tell you

- passionatelycuriousblog

[passionatelycuriousblog]

You flashed your smile at me

I'm smitten like gravity

I let you cavort your way on me

We both danced in my fantasy

When you're passing by

I wonder what I looked to you

Cause to me your eyes

Speaks the volume of you

I always try to pretend not to see you

Cause when I look you in the eye

You're looking too

Oh how wish I've said you look good today

I always end up wishing I did yesterday

Cause time keeps passing by

And we kinda wasting our time not together

This is me saying I like you

Tearing down my walls

Letting you through

- passionatelycuriousblog