wallacepolsom
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noise dept.
todays bird
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Xuebing Du
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
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@pastacatprod
I've been doing tiny chunks of this cover of The Mars Volta's "Tetragrammaton" for months now. There is....so much to dissect here. So many layers of evil guitar. So much wailing. And I tasked myself with trying to make it make sense for an orchestra.
I hope you enjoy.
I raise you
Ante up
hey
Every once in a while when I need to laugh until I cry I will pull this up.
I will never tire of drawing things screaming. It is very therapeutic.
You can't have your cake and eat it too.
But what is the point of having a cake if not to eat it? Who the fuck is out here being like "I wanna eat this cake but (big pouty face) then I won't have cake..."
BUT IF YOU EAT THE CAKE YOU GET THE EXPERIENCE OF EATING THE FUCKING CAKE, WHICH IS MUCH BETTER THAN JUST HAVING A FUCKING CAKE YOU CLOWN. Or just BUY MORE FUCKING CAKE AND EAT SOME OF IT AND YOU'LL HAVE MORE LEFT OVER.
Bro, one must imagine Sisyphus is losing muscle mass super fast, bro. Bro you gotta have your rest days, bro. Never gonna get those gains if you don't eat sometimes bro. And you gotta give time for rest bro and rebuild those muscle fibers bro. Boulder pushin really tears those fibers bro.
I'm trying to be better about posting stuff I've worked on that I'm excited about, but I've been in a bit of an overwhelmed stress depression spiral as of late and it's been hard. One thing that got me through a creative rut, though, has been discovering one of my old coworker's music and writing some bigass orchestral shit behind it.
LYTALINA is a talented songwriting duo who have since become good friends and I'm helping them put together an album. Details soon. But for now, this is the song of theirs that I remixed because I adored it. It had a musical theater vibe that reminded me of Muse and Bitter Ruin and I loved the shit out of it.
A series of movies and shows I've had on my mind as of late drawn on Starbucks sleeves.
So I turned Limp Bizkit's "Hot Dog" into a Christmasy tune and it's gonna be up on YouTube on Christmas Eve 2PM PT because that's fun.
I didn't get much done in the way of music this year, but I did manage to put together this Christmasy cover of Linkin Park's "Crawling"
MULTI PART POST
I'm not incredibly active on socials lately but here's a shit ton of pieces of art I did this holiday season, including one that someone commissioned me for because I displayed all the sleeves (golly that was neat).
And the commissioned piece:
MULTI PART POST
I'm not incredibly active on socials lately but here's a shit ton of pieces of art I did this holiday season, including one that someone commissioned me for because I displayed all the sleeves (golly that was neat).
MORE
MULTI PART POST
I'm not incredibly active on socials lately but here's a shit ton of pieces of art I did this holiday season, including one that someone commissioned me for because I displayed all the sleeves (golly that was neat).
*Attending a perfectly lovely church gathering. Absolutely nothing out of the ordinary. Everyone there is lovely.*
Brain voice 1, unprompted: If all 399 of the church goers here suddenly decided to start taking out every atheist they saw, how many could I take out before I was overwhelmed?
Brain voice 2: ...not many probably.
Brain voice 1: 10 at least.
Brain voice 2: 10?
Brain voice 1: Start with the frail elderlies.
Brain voice 2: Jesus Christ.
Brain voice 1: He can't help them...
I've created a character for a D&D campaign I'm joining today. He's an Eloquence bard who plays a one-man-band contraption ala Bert from Mary Poppins, so I named him Bert van Gyrtle and just straight up used a picture of Dick Van Dyke as his avatar.
He's written at least one song about the adventuring party's current quest, about which he's currently VERY uninformed.
My first session as Bert went swimmingly. Part of the reason I wanted to play an Eloquence Bard is that the idea of playing a very charismatic character intimidates me. So far we've established that while Bert might have a +12 to deception, I the player have a -12.
Another thing I struggle with is tact. We had a code phrase we had to speak to a bartender, and rather than gracefully work it into a conversation, I made Bert do a little shimmy when he said it. And I smiled a bit. I realized afterwards I was doing this Shaq gif.
TELL ME GOOD FELLOW, IS THE MIDNIGHT SUN SHINING?
So yeah. Lies and tact. Those are the things I need to work on. But in my defense, Bert also has an intelligence of 9.
Sometimes you play the character, and sometimes the character plays you 😔
Last night we did what started as a stealth jailbreak. Because D&D, it quickly turned to "I guess we're killing everyone in this jail."
We ended mid combat, but so far 17 guards have died. Bert began to panic when the inevitable Plan A Failure began. Bert is a loud fellow when he attacks, so he sat in invisibility for a couple of rounds just running back and forth between the other characters that were working on the jailbreak, attempting to see where he could help without revealing himself. Surely now is not the time for thunderous booms, thought Bert.
He did have the chance to polymorph a lightning wyvern on a rooftop into a turtle. And that turtle was so angry about it he jumped off the roof and killed his turtle form to turn back into a wyvern. In response, Bert polymorphed him again. Unfortunately, a lot of Bert's other spells are concentration, so that left him with limited options for spellcasting if he wanted to keep this wyvern turtled.
Bert has spent a lot of his past doing stupid shit with his bard magic. He used to work on his music nightly and use Major Image to summon a small orchestra to accompany him. He experimented with Thunderclap as a method of amplification. He talks his way out of a lot of situations. Hurting people is not his forte.
Jailbreak was a bust.
We briefly thought the guy we were gonna break out of prison was dead. Then Bert found out he wasn't but was being held at gunpoint. But before he could tell anyone that he was mind controlled and forced to attempt to turn himself in. He sadly walked to the barracks, singing a mellow tune as he went. "Bye fellas! I'm going to prison!" he said, fully believing he deserved it.
Meanwhile, the rest of the team invisibly broke into the room the prisoner was in, at which time the prisoner was shot in the head. Bert, after everything had been handled in there, came out of his stupor, after which he excitedly exclaimed "GREAT NEWS GUYS, THE PRISONER IS STILL ALIVE!"
By the end there was one guard still active, crying in a locked tower because he was scared for his life. Bert dimension doored up there, and convinced him to give up because the team had already killed 34 people and 2 lightning wyverns, and they probably weren't ready to stop killing.
So we didn't get the person we were after, but we did take three people hostage, one of which we interrogated via shadow dragon until her head exploded.
Bert doesn't entirely know what to make of all this yet. He killed three people in the attempted prison break and those were the first people he's ever killed on purpose. He's here because he's convinced this will make for a hell of a song, but is still figuring out how he feels about it all.
Bert is furiously writing new music about the Shadow Dragon, having decided that she really cares about being a mother and that she is very scary. The song is getting dark. Bert came out from the darkness of his quarters on a boat to get some air, saw the brightest, biggest fire he's ever seen in his life, and went "THIS LIGHT IS GOING TO FUCK WITH MY DARK INSPIRATION!" and returned to his writing cave.
He later had an opportunity to play a rendition of his work in progress for a fancy hotel as an audition and was told it was "better fitted for a lower establishment."
He did not take this well.
Later in the bar he used his only 6th level spell slot to cast Mass Suggestion to try to convince the manager of the establishment and any patrons that would listen that they would like to hear some goddamned fucking music. Because this is all Bert has ever used his magic for: to enhance his music and make sure other people listen.
He then burned the remainder of his spell slots to keep Major Image active so he could summon a string quartet for seventy minutes straight.
My DM asked how I imagine Bert getting stronger outside of levelling up (what sort of training he might pursue, how he gets out of situations, items I might like to search for) and I think the answer is manipulation and pettiness.
"Okay Bert, what do you think about us actually fulfilling the prophecy, fighting the scary Shadow Dragon that exploded someone's head with psychic damage, and joining warring nations in a fight against an even bigger, scarier nation that wants to start multiple coups and rule the world?"
Bert externally, cool as a cucumber: "That seems fine."
Bert internally:
Bert has known these fellas for less than a week. He doesn't have strong feelings towards one side or the other, but one of the warring nations did imprison him at one point, and he is very scared of the Shadow Dragon exploding his precious head (which he is currently very in over). Originally, he had wanted to stop the prophecy because it would lead to war, and it's hard to have an audience for your music if they're all off dying in a world war. It seems that war is inevitable, though, as long as people with power fear losing that power.
Regardless of the morals of war, everything in his brain is telling him to run right now. He talks his way out of every situation, and is not big on choosing sides. He has also never in his life fought for something besides himself.
Will he make a bold stand with the party he barely knows and finally pick a side? Or is he going to do what's necessary to keep himself alive and opt to not partake in what is most definitely a suicide mission? Only tomorrow will tell...
Our meeting with the royals went....surprisingly well.
We originally thought the shadow dragon was going to turn on us when we betrayed the resistance, but HOLY FUCK it turns out the shadow dragon's goddamned sister is on the royals' side and was like "You can just like....join us and raise yo baby. We don't give a shit." It turns out propaganda on one side of the world is quite strong and the shadow dragon was led to believe her egg was going to be destroyed for the prophecy.
ANYWAY, now we're fighting the resistance, who are run by basically fantasy Nazis who wanna kill all the dragons and take over the world, SO YEAH.
What a turn of events.
Bert joined these fools like 2 or 3 days ago and has switched sides and entire world perspectives at least 4 times since then. It's been a wild ride. If Bert doesn't get his face melted or his body chopped in three like one of the unfortunate members of the party, maybe he'll write a badass song about all of this and how an evil creature of the Abyss turned to good for the sake of her child.
The Frames' "Fitzcarraldo" is already about boats n shit right? I think Glen Hansard said in a concert at a point it was about someone pushing a boat over a mountain.
THE POINT IS
Boats. Pirates. It makes sense. Pirate Fitzcarraldo makes a whole lotta goddamn sense and I'm disappointed that took me until today to discover.
Co-worker: I hope this email finds you well.
How this email finds me:
We had a player out for the week in our D&D party, so we played a one-shot in which we were searching for treasures in a cave system. Several options were given for species.
3 out of the 4 of us chose to be melee-based Ratmen (rogue, ranger, and barbarian).
The fourth was a minotaur warlock.
In true rat fashion we tended to swarm enemies and beat and stab the shit out of them. We ended up holding a kenku at knifepoint and demanding treasure. My Path of the Giant Barbarian rat shoved an entire basilisk off a cliff.
Meanwhile the Minotaur, despite being the largest of us all, was the one hanging back and fireballing and Eldritch Blasting the shit out of everyone.
We were not to be fucked with.
I wanted to draw a couple things so here's some art from today while I process our antics.
My cat is a big boy with big boy shoes.
