so who was going to tell me that heavily projecting my trauma into my writing was going to make me have emotions about it
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@pastelbiohazard
so who was going to tell me that heavily projecting my trauma into my writing was going to make me have emotions about it
what you learn from hobbies:
consistent practice opens up whole worlds of skill that you couldn't imagine
making mistakes in the process of learning is not only natural, it is also essential
activities that you enjoy can give you more energy back than you spent on them
wow everything is so expensive
my hands hurt
inaccurate, they will survive.
counterattacking
they are now playing a friendly game of speed pong :3
Had to get up and haul my ass out of the house way too early to get put in the noise tube (MRI machine) to get my lower back looked at. Shit is definitely on the loose down there but I'm not hopeful about anything being found. For some reason everything in my back can stay in their place to have their picture taken but as soon as I WANT to do something my back decides to try to take me to the floor. This time I struggled pretty hard with laying still for the whole time because of the pain so hopefully I'm wrong about them not seeing what's causing the pain. After getting out of that tube I was sent into a bad pain flare for a couple hours (its still bothering me but I've stopped crying) because I had to hold that uncomfortable position for about 20 minutes. My next appointment is soon so at least I don't have to wait weeks to find out that my body is gaslighting me. Although if something IS found I'm not sure what to do about it, that I would be able to afford at least, I don't think I'm going to be doing anything that makes money for a WHILE.
I think there’s really a conversation to be had about people harassing others to the point of breaking under the guise of being “morally good” and “protecting others”. I’ve never felt protected or safe seeing people like that. I think “oh, if I step even a little out of line I’m next”.
Ah I love living in a desert! And I love having friends that live around the globe! And I also love how they’re HOGGING ALL THE GODDAMN RAIN!!!
I’m looking at YOU, @give-me-one-good-reason
Yes. Please, give us your moisture.
I strive to commit only the type of whiteness that makes my Mexican friends and family speak in rapid disappointed/exasperated Spanish at me
they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of
fuuuck I could use a mysterious benefactor right now
oh great now I'm going to have to make my own little guy like this
So almost immediately after I make that big long post about shit that's stressing me out I get informed that my great grandmother has passed. I wasn't super close to her so I didn't think it'd effect me much but I'm definitely having SOME kind of reaction. I was spaced out for the remainder of the day, was in and out of sleep all night, and am nauseated and exhausted and barely able to leave bed or even sit up for long. My anxiety is through the roof because I'm worried about my grandmother's reaction. I've seen her reactions to her (way too fucking many) dogs dying, what that woman or her husband might do now scares me a bit. They're the kind of people who will make shit up to ruin lives over petty shit and I don't think that's going to exclude us (we suspect them of causing an incident when I was a baby). I'm also anxious about my father's reaction, he can be volatile when he's stressed and I always seem to be on thin ice with him anyway.
Update/Lore drop
Things are not going well for me in the slightest and it is SEVERELY impacting my health. I've been struggling just to take care of myself and I definitely haven't been able to do what I need to to get my footing with streaming and making and selling crafts. Just that alone is putting a strain on my mental health but there's so much more that's been going on that has just completely brought me to my knees. I'm hoping that just getting it all off my chest to people other than the same 5 people I bitch to will make me feel a little better and help me with my crippling fear of being vulnerable.
CW: death, hoarding, sexual abuse, childhood sexual abuse, domestic abuse, suicidal ideation
guy who installs an adblocker and forgets about it and lives in a beautiful world where online ads have become much less frequent
lalala world so beautiful advertisements so extinct (opens website on mobile)AAAAAH!!!!!!! OH GOD MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!
Post Hangout Feedback Form
Was I weird?
Are you sure?
What was the weirdest thing I did? Be as detailed as possible.
How could I be less weird in the future? Be as detailed as possible.
Do you have any complaints or feedback regarding my behavior? Be as detailed as possible.
Would you be open to hanging out again in the future?
Should I give you some space after this? If yes, for how long should I avoid you?
Was I weird?
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I'm sorry.
I point to a sign that reads "STOP GIVING THE WORKS OF JK ROWLING TIME AND MONEY"
especially ahead of the new series trailer, tapping the sign that reads "DO NOT HATEWATCH"
but maybe a better strategy would be to suggest another fandom with a better reputation but similar vibes to what Harry Potter fans like about Harry Potter (ranging from that kind of coming-of-age narrative to a sorting system people can "make their whole personality"/world that one can easily insert themselves into) and that people read/watch/play that instead as the people you're trying to convince are just gonna be turned off by your negativity
hi, i was a harry potter fan from the ages of 6-28, if anyone understands how hard it is to emotionally move on from this specific beloved childhood franchise and cultural phenomenon it would be me.
it's been 6 years since j.k rowling started doubling down on her transphobia. (if we mark her mask off moment as her 2020 posting)
people have had six years to come to terms with it and find alternatives, there have been multiple video essays podcasts and written journalism about all of this, there are so many lists of alternatives including contemporary to the series and current fiction. even as early as 2022 people were renaming real world social groups/sport formed around their hp fandom to distance themselves from her work.
i wasn't even particularly negative, i said "stop spending money here" that's neither critical to the source material nor the fans. and not spending money isn't even an active action it's passive inaction, very easy to do.
also as someone who grew up with the book phenomenon and the films, you cannot reproduce the phenomenon that it used to be. you can find other things that give you joy but that was a very specific pop cultural time and event. the new show not only funds the cultural relevance of and bigoted political actions of rowling, it's also just inherently flawed in conception as a work of nostalgia that will always fall short in both quality, phenomena, and fandom culture.
I'm not coddling adults or teens who are tempted to engage with hp because i respect that they have the capacity to change their minds and expand their own tastes. it's not my responsibility to spoon-feed people alternatives.
I'm saying stop giving her money
i'm saying stop giving the franchise cultural currency via streaming attention
i'm saying the real people who are being made unsafe due to the transphobia and racism of j.k rowling are and always will be more important than nostalgia and fandom
I sound harsh because i was being blunt, if that comes off as negativity that puts some people off then that's okay.
there are much more hand holding options out there, (i myself watched a few video essays years ago deconstructing the bigotry of the novels and the messy relationship between fandom on identity and fiction versus personal ethics. because i needed discussions to process my own personal emotional response to letting the franchise go)
but with my own post I would hope that at least some people go "actually yeah this isn't worth my time and money" about the new show.
because it's okay to feel some negative emotions if it reminds you not to do something you actually feel is wrong.
ultimately @thewickedbohemian it's okay that you don't like my two sentence post as an approach to addressing the entire harry potter fandom. I would encourage you to visit/revisit any works that make you feel the same kind of magic that people are looking for and compile a list yourself to share, it's a good exercise and does help give people a place to start. it's not something i did with this post, it can be something you do with your own post, feel free to tag me in it and i'll reblog.
but again, i'll say it:
"STOP GIVING THE WORKS OF JK ROWLING TIME AND MONEY" "DO NOT HATEWATCH"
here's some places for people to donate
https://mermaidsuk.org.uk/?form=donate
https://transactual.org.uk/change-actions/ https://www.peoplesfundraising.com/donation/support-transactual
https://www.justgiving.com/campaign/scottishtransalliance
this fic is so good i hope i write it