Moist men

Requests: Closed. Lover of a lanky man who pukes water and has hot girl shits.

[patheticwhitemenlover]

Masterlist

V4.0 Read before requesting Request submissions - Closed Monthly update

18+ content - Minors do not interact

Links

AO3 Ko-fi

Gender Neutral!Reader masterlist

Female!Reader masterlist

Includes MTF

Male!Reader masterlist

Includes FTM

Ships & Other masterlist

Seasonal Projects

🎄12 days of wetmas 2025🎄 💓Herm-ruary 2026💓 💦Munch March 2026 💦

🏳️‍🌈 Dispatching Pride 2026 🏳️‍🌈

☀️ Wet July 2026☀️

[dinowatermelons]

Had a flambert au idea a while back where in which blazer misses her chance to recruit Robert to sdn so Robert ends up doing a bunch of different odd jobs in order to make money while tracking shroud in the meantime.

Except Robert is a big damn hero and if he sees someone in need of course he’s going to end up helping them. BUT, unwittingly, this ends up interfering with z-team’s missions because Robert completed the task they were assigned, thus failing the mission. So z-team kind of has this grudge on Robert without knowing who he is.

And blazer and chase, who are still trying to track down Robert so they can recruit him, are immediately suspicious and are like hmmmm, is this who we think it is??? So they task Flambae with getting the name of this mysterious hero because Robert is affecting his missions the most.

Except Robert realizes who flambae is, and while he does apologize for stealing his missions by accident, still doesn’t fully trust flambae yet and decides to be a little shit and gives him fake names.

Flambae: alright, what’s your name for real

Robert: Joe.

Flambae: Joe…?

Robert: mama.

Flambae: Joe mama- HEY

Robert: (already biking off to deliver his next Uber Eats order)

Anyway, this all devolves into a flirtatious game of cat and mouse, driving blazer and chase nuts all the while.

[quietmour]

Watermech comic ❤️

[kingsprinkle]

Guys, waterbae got me

[yeetusthe3rd]

Timepiece: "I think I just figured out Shroud's Plan! I have to go!"

Chase: "Aren't you fucking forgetting something?"

Timepiece: "Uhm..."

*Timepiece kisses Chase's forehead before running out.*

Chase: "No, pay your fucking bill! Damn, who raised you?"

[yeetusthe3rd]

Timepiece: "Since we're in a relationship now... your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt."

Chase:" Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit."

[yeetusthe3rd]

Chase, watching Feedback trip because he's staring at Gummi Bear: "Ugh, crushes are so fucking dumb."

Timepiece: "I know! Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid..."

Chase: "But you’re always acting fucking stupid?"

Timepiece: "..."

Timepiece: "Don’t think about that too hard."

[yeetusthe3rd]

Timepiece: "Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of wine."

Chase: "Marry me."

[yeetusthe3rd]

Chase: "Goodnight to Timepiece, and fuck the rest of y'all."

[d3caying-radi0]

the waterboy fandom is dying reblog if you’re wet 🙏🙏🤞🤞🔥🔥

[patheticwhitemenlover]

Robert vampire AU thoughts

He fights in the mech to avoid the sun light. It won't kill him or anything but it does sting.

He does have some hypnosis skills but doesn't like using them unless he absolutely has too

His fangs pop out when he's mad

He doesn't need blood to live, but he will buy some pigs blood to snack on when he's feeling run down

Garlic doesn't ward him off, he just hates the smell and taste.

He is always throwing parties at his place because it's awkward to explain the invitation only rules to people

He doesn't have a bed because he doesn't sleep.

He hisses, a lot. When he's mad or annoyed.

He's kind of jealous of Sonar because he can't turn into a bat, that's just a myth.

He has no blood flow so he has permanent ED. But that doesn't mean he hasn't figured out a few hacks. Like sliding between your legs and biting down on your inner thigh, maintaining eye contact while he feeds just enough to have your blood flowing through his body. Pooling low as he licks the wound clean and then warms you up. Ready for when the blood is all in the right places and he can ruin you while scrapping his teeth against your carotid and telling you how sweet you taste.

[patheticwhitemenlover]

More Vampire!Robert thoughts

He can smell and hear your blood so when he kisses you, he can practically follow it down to all the spots it swells in

When it gets hot a heavy he grabs his belt and wraps it around his head, gagging himself and biting into the leather to avoid biting you.

Paper cuts and nosebleeds are enough to have him sweating through his shirt and he's going through the bins to find those blood soaked tissues and cotton balls you threw in there. Hes not proud of it, but they sit in his pocket all day while he swallows down mouthfuls of spit just thinking about sucking them.

[patheticwhitemenlover]

Chad buys Herm a body pillow of himself for their one year anniversary.

It has him all laid out seductively on it in nothing but a flame printed thong.

It makes Herm blush because, oh God, he has to hide this from grandma somehow. He intends to take it home and stuff it in his closest like a shameful secret. But one night, he's lonely with Chad away babysitting his niece and pulls it out just to cuddle for a little bit.

And now he sleeps with it every night because it's the perfect firmness to prop up his hypermobile ass body and stop him waking up feeling like he's been hit by a cement truck that popped three joins out of place.

[thefopit]

Finally becoming more consistent with him, I love him soooo much!! Close-ups under the cut

My favorite is his little puffed cheeks awe awe awe aweeee

[patheticwhitemenlover]

Male prostitute!Chad whoes hired by Business man!Robert because he can't stand going to another charity gala and being asked why he's still single and when he's going to settle down.

Chad wouldn't normally be his first pick with the long hair and slutty shirts. But dude is good, like...scary good.

He's charming and funny.

And his fingers never leave Robert's body, not for a second.

A hand on his waist. A palm pressed against the small of his back. An arm around his shoulder. Three fingers gripping and tugging at his hips.

And when they dance, Chad nuzzles into his neck and Robert feels like sobbing.

Because this is a transaction.

But hes never felt so wanted in his entire life.

And that's just so fucking sad.

To feel desired by the guy whoes job it is to suck your cock and call you pretty for cash under the table.

[patheticwhitemenlover]

Wrath of Kahn

Waterboy x Flambae

Herm has had a bad day. A really, really bad day. And he doesn't want to kill Victor. But it can't hurt to let his frustrations out on the hairy menace, just a little bit. Even if Chad has to be the one to save hairy bitch.

(SFW, A lil making out)

For @simonsucker 🤲

Herm always had a bad day. It was just who he was. How it is. He would always screw something up or slip on his own water. He would always eat something that upset his stomach or miss the bus by a few minutes.

He was just unlucky.

And normally, he would take it in his stride. Brush it off or laugh through it. But not today. Today was too much, too many setbacks, too many clumsy moments.

And Chad saw it.

He saw the tension in Herm's shoulders. The twitching muscel under his goggles betwen calls. And now the clenching and unclenching of his palms as Victor leaned against the shower room's lockers and smiled.

"All I'm saying is I could optimise your pay check by 5% if you just lend me a tiny, tiny amount of money as a start up investment"

Herm rubbed a towel through his hair. Like that would help wick away the moisture of the shower before his own caught up. His bone ached, his head was pounding. And Victor just kept talking.

"I don't-I'm not interested"

"Aw, come on, Herm. It's an app! Everyone loves apps! It will make a killing!"

Victor was equally as wet. Shaking his fur and splattering everyone within three feet with the smell of wet dog only moments ago, shift over and say done. The whole team washing off the dirt and the grime.

He dug a finger into his ear, chirping as Herm sucked in a slow, deliberate breath, and reached for his street clothes.

"I'm not-can I get change-dressed now? The bus-"

Victor hand slammed the locker door shut, almost catching Herm fingers in the sharp metal edges as he leaned in closer. Tongue darting out to lick his snout.

"Don't worry about the bus. You'll have a private chauffeur soon! I just need $10,000-"

"Ten-ten thousand!? Victor, I-that's-no, no, I dont-I can't-"

And then Victor was in his space. Chirping and damp. Hands on Herm's shoulder and squeezing far too tightly. Herm could feel himself crumbling. Over stimulated and over irritated. Anger and frustration bubbling in his chest like bile. He tried to swallow it down. He really did try. Chad's eyes followed the way his adams apple bobbed and shook with the effort he was desperately trying to employ. Pulling on his jeans and buttoning up his shirt, watching as Victor just kept going.

"You can! It's an investment! Come on, don't be such a wet blanket"

Chad saw it before Victor did. The shift in Herm's muscels. The twitch in his jaw. The build-up to Herm's arm slamming against Victor's throat. Pushing him back against the metal of the lockers. Holding him in place as he gasped and grasped at Herm's forearm. Watching and waiting, letting Herm have his moment. Getting it out of his system. Locked and still and suddenly terrifying.

It wasn't until Herm's breath hitched, just slightly, his fingers curling into a fist by his side, that Chad stepped in. A warm hand landing on Herm's shoulder. Steaming away as he tugged once. Then twice.

"Ok, that's enough, wet fart boy. Bat brain gets the message-"

"Does he?'

Herm voice was low and cold. Victor nodded. Legs shaking and empty eyes wide. Chad heated his hand until Herm hissed and pulled back, letting the hybrid drop and scramble away. His towel slid off his hips and left him running bare assed to hide behind Mal's legs. Peaking out like a child as Herm took measured breaths. His jaw clicking as his teeth ground against each other.

Chad let him go. Opening his locker and shoving Herm's ridiculous duck print swim shorts and tank top into his arms.

"Get dressed, I'll drive you flat ass home"

The room was silent suddenly silent, the air heavy and thick. The hiss of the showers and the slamming of lockers filling the space as Herm felt the tell tale prickling at the corners of his eyes start to build. Shoving his clothes on and following Chad out the doors before it was too late.

It wasn't until he was leaning back against the leather passenger seat of Chadsbeat up car that he let a small hiccuping noise escape his throat. His hands shaking and shame overloading his senses.

"I'm sorry. I didn't-that was-he's my friend. I should apologise-"

Herm moved to unbuckle his seatbelt. Intending to rush back inside and find Victor. Tell him he didnt mean it and he was just tired. He didnt mean to hurt him. But Chad's hand covered his, squeezing and holding. Grounding him until he looked up at him with watery eyes.

"Nah, let him tremble for a bit. He was being a pushy bitch. Besides....it was kinda hot"

Herm blinked and Chad was suddenly so close. His hand lacing through Herm's fingers. His breath fanning in hot waves across his cool cheeks.

"W-what was?"

Chad smirked. Tilting his head. Hair lose and cascading down his shoulders.

"You, getting angry. All puffed up like a fucking blowfish. Was fucking hot. I didn't know you had it on you"

His fingers slid up Herms arm. Over his shoulder and across his neck. Laying softly around his throat as he tugged and locked.

"W-what are you-"

Chads lips were suddenly sliding against Herm's. Wet and plump and parted. Swallowing down watery gasps as he licked at his teeth. Steaming up the windows with droplets of condensation racing down the glass.

As quickly as he captured Herm lips, Chad pulled away. Pulling a pathetic whin from Hermthroat, over taking the shame and leaving nothing but a vibrating heat in its wake. Pupils blown and chest heaving.

"Don't do that shit again, wet fart boy. You're just starting to grow on me. Victor's bat brained business sense isn't worth lossing your fucking job over"

Herm licked his lips. Nodded frantically.

He tasted like cinnamon.

"I-I won't"

[patheticwhitemenlover]

Chad is the most annoying bitch at the gym.

He goes on and on about how fucking strong he is and how the gym just can't match up to his strength.

Nothing is a challenge and he proves it by making out the hip lift machine and talking about how its like lifting a feather while biting his lip and tucking his hands behind his head. Just thrusting into the air while everyone rolls their eyes.

Everyone except Robert.

Because Robert has a glint in his eye. An idea to take Chad down a peg.

So Robert drops the 5kg weight he was using for his bicep curls and crawls into Chad's lap, over the bar of the existing weights. Gripping the bar so his body is arched and his thighs are spread.

"What the fuck, Bob bob"

"I'm just adding some extra weight. You wanted to be challenged...right?"

Robert watches the flush fill Chad's cheeks. Watches how his eyes travel down to Robert's thighs and the line of his torso. His skin burning as he grumbles and lifts him.

Over and over.

One set.

Two sets.

Flustered and poking into Robert's ass.

"You're a fucking bitch, you know that?"

"Strangely enough, you never let me forget it"

[patheticwhitemenlover]

hi hi! i just wanted to ask this to be sure: we can still @ you when we finish a piece for one of the events that you did, right? i'm still working on my thing for wet july :)

Of course! It's actually the quickest way for me to find your works because I check my notifications more than the tag when the event month is over but event fics (for any event) can be posted at anytime! If you're inspired don't be put off by the month deadline, just write and have fun!