Patty Cranston

Writer & Author, Skater; Coach & Choreographer. Nuts about running, hiking, yoga; fine food & wine. CRAZY for my family (& the dog!).

[pattycranston]

FEAR: Make it your Buddy

FEAR. It paralyzes; makes us sick, evokes feelings of panic and dread. Yet somehow we forge ahead in spite of it.

Helping athletes navigate fear is an integral part of a coach’s job. It takes various forms such as anxiety, doubt, nervousness, jitters, panic and terror. The M.O. for many of us including athletes, is to run from fear and refuse to acknowledge its existence.

My own relationship to fear changed dramatically about 10 years ago when I discovered the works of David R. Hawkins. As a world-renowned psychiatrist and expert on consciousness, Hawkins landed on the lecture stage and wrote several life-changing books.

In his popular 12-volume “Office Visit Series”, Hawkins lectures on a particular emotional state such as fear, anger, grief, addiction, depression, pain and suffering and gives us guidance on how to cope and process through each of them.

“All fear is an illusion” - David R. Hawkins

In his lecture called Worry, Fear and Anxiety, Hawkins explains when we feel afraid, what we actually experience is not “fear” but the body’s manifestation of fear. This feeling can be in the form of a pounding heart, rapid breathing, shaky legs, nausea or butterflies in the stomach.

There isn’t an athlete alive who isn’t intimately familiar with at least one of those sensations prior to performing at a big event.

The key, Hawkins says is to “resist resisting”. Embrace the uncomfortable feeling in the body and avoid the urge to get rid of it! Close your eyes, take the focus to whatever sensation you’re feeling and stay with it without trying to name it or label it.

What happens next is surprising! Having the courage to soldier through what feels like absolute misery, that sickening feeling in the gut or pounding heart dissipates in a minute or so. We learn that just by staying with uncomfortable bodily sensations, they are finite and disappear.

Until I heard this podcast with Kristen Ulmer, I had never heard another expert besides Hawkins talk about handling fear.

A “fear specialist”, Ulmer works with people in all walks of life to help them face and overcome their fears. [Check out her book: The Art of Fear].

In her work Ulmer draws from her 12-year-long experience as one of the world’s best extreme skiers. To not feel afraid before plunging down a steep mountain with precipitous drop-offs ... would be an outright lie! Ulmer knew with just one slip, she could fall to her death.

Yet during those years as an extreme athlete, Ulmer says she dealt with her fear by avoiding it. She pushed it down and pretended it did not exist. Eventually, the denial and anxiety this caused caught up with her. So it was in her journey to cope and heal herself that shifted Ulmer into her life’s work of helping others.

Her message is encouraging and uplifting because it puts fear in a different context. Instead of dragging us down we can use its positive energy to fuel our performance and ultimately realize greater achievements.

[pattycranston]

Unstoppable Curiosity - TED Radio Hour

I love the marriage between TED talks & NPR.

In each episode, host Guy Raz takes us on a journey of various topics from the TED stage. He interviews several speakers then integrates highlights from their talks with in-depth analysis and reporting.

Each episode is filled with fascinating nuggets but one called “Unstoppable Learning” must be shared!

In this episode, each expert shares amazing discoveries about the way kids learn. It’s inspired listening.

As someone who feels that parochial school stifled my curiosity, education today seems infinitely more stimulating.

This podcast certainly confirms that hunch.

[pattycranston]

The Cell

… Between you and me

At a recent retreat I attended in Ireland with Philip McKernan he asked us to leave all electronic devices at home so we could be fully present for the work.

As I hopped in the cab for the airport I felt as though I was missing a limb. After a couple of days I felt free without that appendage; better able to enjoy the beauty that is the west coast of Ireland.

Cell phones take away our awareness. When we are preoccupied with the message behind its latest ‘ping’ we are not present in the moment.

In this presentation by Dandapani, a Malaysian-born Hindu monk, he talks about keeping focus on the person to whom you are talking. When he is distracted by a ringing cell phone, he redirects his mind to the conversation in which he is engaged.

How can I be fully engaged with the person I am with when texting or talking? The message: I am not with you because I am preoccupied with the person on the other end of the phone.

On a recent walk in the woods with a friend to whom I have a long and rich history, there were several interruptions while she repeatedly texted another friend. Bits of our conversation were left unfinished. But what we truly missed was an opportunity for meaningful dialogue.

Dandapani’s talk was a good reminder to leave my cell behind so I can truly visit with friends.

The MasterMindTalks Podcast, ep #42

[pattycranston]

Raising Little SuperHumans: What’s old is new again

Being a grandmother to four-year-old twin girls has sparked a renewed interest in child-rearing. In this era of the helicopter parent, I found it refreshing when I heard personal trainer and author, Ben Greenfield speak about his novel approach to parenting. Interestingly, it was no different than how I was raised in the 60s.

Greenfield encourages his six-year-old twin boys to get outside everyday for a couple of hours of unstructured play. They run, jump, roughhouse with Dad, and scamper around barefoot on the family’s property in rural Washington State.

These super-twins have also participated in several organized events. They’ve completed triathlons, 5km runs and Spartan events; they act in summer theatre; they play the piano and make Pad Thai. But as Dad says, his progeny (like all kids) will happily engage in the same activities as their parents, on the sports field or off.

To build his kids’ immunity, hand sanitizers in the Greenfield family are shunned. And, the boys take at most a couple of baths a week – practices that seem counterintuitive in today’s phobic ‘anti-bacterial’ culture.

Some experts claim that ‘getting down and dirty’ actually helps to boost a kid’s immunity. So these parents don’t stop their boys when they kiss the dog on the mouth or crawl around airport floors. Nor did they get upset when they found their twins licking something delectable off the floor of a local coffee shop.

On the theme of building the body’s natural defenses, Greenfield good-humoredly asked the audience if, as kids, anyone ate their own “boogers”. Whether any hands went up is unknown, but despite the distasteful thought, kids who eat their own dried snot are – apparently – engaging in yet another beneficial immunity hack.

So parents out there, you may just want to turn your back and let them ‘chew on’.

Twitter: @bengreenfield

[pattycranston]

To Toller, Legend and Friend

“Greetings Dear Toller:

….. Sometimes I watch, a little bemused as today’s skaters spin in wild and wonderfully bizarre positions; and think of you, performing incredible feats, which in essence, were an evocation of your creative soul. It takes but a quick look on YouTube to see that you were contorting your body into positions that are now called “Turtle’; “Pancake” etc., long before any of today’s skaters were born. In fact, you would have earned Level 4 on your spins, several decades before today’s marking system existed!

I know you’ve heard it all before, but Toller, you were truly a gift to skating. Like all pioneers, it wasn’t easy, yet you persisted and paved the way to transformation in our sport. On a personal level, I cannot tell you how grateful I am that you were such a huge part of MY life! I will never forget that day, as a 16-year-old, on early-morning patch, laying out a back paragraph loop … you stood to watch and then ‘talked’ to me for the first time. My life on the ice was forever transformed!

I’ve often thought that I would not have been the skater I was, were it not for you. Of course Mrs. Burka was also hugely influential on me. With her expertise combined with your inspiration on daily practice sessions - the limitless creativity and your super-human work ethic - I could not have asked for a better training environment. I know that I am not alone expressing these sentiments, as you also inspired numerous others!

Obviously, who we are doesn’t change. I know that you continue to be a prolific and successful artist. And I for one, can enjoy the fruits of your labour every day when I look at the paintings of yours that grace my walls.

....... best wishes for the holidays. I think of you often … I am so grateful that are part of my life. Your influence on me, and so many, has been exponential in effect. 

Take Care … blessings & much love”

Patty

[pattycranston]

WRITING RUINS ….

... or how I saved non-runners from mind-sapping boredom, one word at a time

Nothing is as analogous to life itself as running; specifically training for and running marathons. For years I composed make-believe articles about the number of ways running mirrors life, like taking one step at a time, being patient and “life is a marathon not a sprint” etc.

What a great way to offer my accumulated wisdom! Or so I thought!

Over several days I logged my “marathon as life” experience in a tome of over 2000 words. Then I heard one of my favorite podcasters talk about his writing process. He slashes the first and last paragraphs and much of the drivel in between before posting articles.

My piece was long and preachy. My husband groaned when he reluctantly agreed to edit it. He lost interest after three pages. Then he yawned.

The next day I cut the article drastically. But I could not wrap it up. 

So now, my marathon piece sits in the closet with its “for sale” tags still on. It will never ‘go to print’ … an unworn mistake that seemed like a great idea at the time.

[pattycranston]

Thanksgiving: Lack of Power Creates a Magical Feast

For several decades, the Cranston family owned a wonderful cottage on Lake Muskoka – East Bay to be specific. Unfortunately, we had to sell the place about a year after the passing of Nana (Gladys Cranston), who lived 100 beautiful years! While we miss the cottage dearly, we will always retain our fond memories.

It seems appropriate that many of these memories surface at Thanksgiving. It is a fitting occasion, because during those cottage years we had so much to be thankful for. Grandpa Cranston was never happier than when his entire family was together at the cottage. We had many a family dinner around a dining table that looked out over a beautiful lake. 

A couple of years ago, we spent our last Thanksgiving weekend at the cottage. As Canadian tradition often goes, we were having our turkey dinner on Sunday, instead of Thanksgiving Monday. 

Preparations began in the morning. My husband got the turkey ready and peeled potatoes. The rest of us bustled around, setting the table; prepping vegetables; whipping up cream for our homemade pumpkin pies; and finally, making homemade cranberry sauce (with cranberries which came fresh from a local Muskoka bog in Bala).

At mid-afternoon, the electricity shut off. This was no big deal in cottage country, as losing our power was not an uncommon event! We all assured each other that the power outage was only a blip and would be back on momentarily. As the minutes fled by, we thought it best to plan for the worst. The turkey had been in the oven a mere two hours and was nowhere near cooked. 

Blessed be the barbeque!

On it went, and once heated up, we popped in the turkey. Surely we thought, the power would be back on by the time we had to cook the potatoes & veg and make gravy. When daylight waned, we scurried around and gathered up all the candles we could find. It became clear that the bbq would serve as our substitute oven for the rest of the dinner. 

Once the bird was roasted, the vegees were cooked on “The q”. Eventually the potatoes were mashed, the bird was carved and we all sat down for dinner. 

The table was adorned with lit candles and we said Thanksgiving grace. Our lack of power provided an adventure, and everything worked out perfectly. The meal was scrumptious and the atmosphere was magical with our candles ‘burning brightly’. After the first course, while some of us sat holding our over-stuffed bellies, complaining about how much we had stuffed ourselves, the busy-bees cleared the dinner dishes. We all agreed that it was probably the best Thanksgiving we had ever had, and we were all so grateful for the coziness of our candlelight dinner. 

In the midst of our feel-good haze, the power suddenly came back on! At once, every person at the cottage let out a huge groan. “Noooooo!”

Despite the power failure, we had been quite pleased that no part of our meal was spared. As our son’s girlfriend mentioned, everyone was quite nonchalant about the situation, and simply made a swift change in plans to cook the meal. We were able to enjoy a bountiful feast in a magical setting for which we could have never planned!

And then: a little dose of reality set in. We glanced at the mountain of dishes piled on every kitchen surface and let out a huge sigh of relief. The power had indeed returned just in time! Water flowed from the taps once again, and we were able to rinse the dishes and, bonus! Load them all in the dishwasher!

[pattycranston]

TALENT ... it’s not the GIFT, it’s the GRIT that counts

It’s September, the “real” start of the year. Your four-year-old joins Canskate at the local skating club and joins the lesson with other helmet-headed, snow-suit clad youngsters.

You sit in the stands and wonder if the coach notices your child. It is a common enquiry. On the other side of the boards however, it doesn’t take long for the coach to get to know all the canskaters. Each one is unique. 

Most kids love to skate after they master the ‘art of the glide.’ It feels like flying. But for every ‘flier’ there are also kids who are reluctant and fearful. They need encouragement. Others just want to race off to the arena snack bar.

Passion exists within all kids but for some, skating is not where it is found. Kids are transparent. If yours loves to skate they possess spark and a “love of the game”.

Drive follows talent; when we have an affinity for something we embrace it. Practice is less a chore than the joy of discovery - the thrill of skill acquisition. 

As a kid, I was obsessed! I lived to skate. On my days off I daydreamed about performing for Canada in front of thousands of people. I would spend hours in the basement choreographing routines to The Sound of Music and Mary Poppins.

When competitions were scheduled on TV, I raced home to watch. 

As a pre-teen, my coach moved to a new club across town. Finally I got to skate every day. And share the ice with world-class skaters!

Eventually the thrill of skating morphed into fierce determination as I climbed the competitive ladder. On tough days it was that “joy of the glide” to which I tried to connect. The only requirements? Beautiful music and the ice.

As a coach I have seen many gifted skaters leave the sport to embrace other opportunities. It becomes clear that talent is the tip of the iceberg. It takes a confluence of several factors to produce world-class athletes.

Only an infinitesimal few are born with the extraordinary talents of Wayne Gretzky, Michael Jordan or Michelle Kwan. How these ‘stars’ finessed their gift is legendary. Despite being the best, they practiced assiduously and enjoyed long careers.

While it may take a unique individual to devote themselves wholeheartedly to their sport, I have worked with passionate kids who skate only a few times a week. Yet their work ethic rivals that of a world competitor.

I’ve discovered that skating comes in all forms. A love of the sport is what inspires us at every level.

What a gift it has been to pass on my passion and expertise. And that is figure skating’s greatest gift to me.

Recommended Reading:

Talent is Overrated: What Really Separates world-class performer from everyone else by Geoffrey Colvin

[pattycranston]

OFFSPRING

As life unfolds, our main source of wisdom comes from our elders; those who have lived fruitful and experience-rich lives are able to share with us their stories of triumph and joy; of pain, defeat and sorrow.

Looking back on my life, I remember engaging in late-night heart-to-hearts with my mother. As I draped my body across her bed, I was all but oblivious to the fact that she had been thoroughly enjoying a novel before I interrupted her peaceful evening!

My sweet mother and Sage never hesitated to drop everything when any of my four siblings or I needed her. In fact, many of the tenets I adhere to come from my mother’s wise words.

When I became a mother myself, I came to realize that life’s lessons could be gleaned from other sources besides the wise and wizened as long as I was open-minded to the possibility. It was clearly evident that my three children were to become a big part of my “teaching staff.” The following are but a few examples of what I learned by witnessing my progeny.

From my eldest daughter came a dogged determination. She always knew what she wanted from life, but more importantly, what she needed. After completing a business degree at McGill, this twenty-something homebody followed her gut and drove away to Boston to begin her working life – her little Jetta jam-packed with her worldly belongings. (Lesson: cast away doubt and fear and follow your dreams!) 

Growing up, she was grace under pressure, and no tennis match or hockey game proved too challenging for this fierce competitor. Above all however, this daughter of mine taught me that the heart knows no bounds. She is giving and kind and epitomizes what it means to be thoughtful. No matter whether it is a family member who needs her help, or a local charity, she is always willing to pitch in, despite her own busy life as a mother of twins.

My next-born and oldest son, showed me unequivocally the reason we play sports – simply for the love of the game. His passion fuelled the discipline necessary to commit to long hours of practice, and to hone his proficiency. 

Though there is not likely a kid alive, including my son, who doesn’t dream of scoring the winning goal in a Stanley Cup final, the end result of every season, of every tournament was, for him, just the final result of one’s effort along the way.

He embodied the attributes of a team player, and does so to this day. I have learned by watching him that the team is always more important than the individual. If he scored a goal, it was because a teammate put the puck on his stick. If he was awarded a prize, it was his teammates who made him a better player. There was no “I” in his lexicon of sport. The gift of this lesson for me: if it were not for our teammates in life, we wouldn’t be who we are. 

Finally, my youngest son is the embodiment of fearlessness. Decide what you want to accomplish in life, and go after it! Whatever the goal, pursue it relentlessly and do not let fear or setback, or the long hours of slogging it out, get in the way. He has never ceased to surprise and amaze me when, over the years, he told me about his latest projects – reviews he would write, a different career path taken, or a planned move across the country. 

His discipline and work ethic are exemplary. He seems to pack into his days, enough activity and drive for two lives! This son has, without a doubt, always marched to the beat to his own drummer, and was never concerned (in a good way) by what others thought. When he was a kid and needed to earn some extra money, no job was ever “beneath him”. Lessons learned: “worry not what others think and check your ego at the door.” 

In closing, though my “teachers” have taught me well, I still feel in some way inadequate to measure up to the example they have set. I wonder if I could ever match the magnitude of my daughter’s generosity; could I ever be as selfless in the game as my oldest son, putting the team before myself? And could I ever match the discipline and work ethic of my youngest son?

Regardless of how I measure up to the qualities of my kids, I am so thankful that they have been part of my life’s education.

[pattycranston]

FRACTURE

Having spent almost a lifetime 'on the ice' I’ve certainly had my share of mishaps. Worst of all is the unexpected: being tripped, stepping onto the ice wearing skate-guards, whacking your tailbone when your blades fly out from under you.

While a skating practice often looks chaotic, skaters become adept at avoiding collisions.

In spring of 2014 I crashed to the ice and broke my wrist. 

Several weeks post-op I feel significantly less pain and thanks to re-hab, I have recovered my range of motion. 

Next week I return to the ice and do so with trepidation.

Throughout my lifetime I have skated, run, cycled and hiked. I taught exercise classes, yoga and running clinics. Fear has never been part of my lexicon. But I had also never broken a bone.

Despite well-meaning advice from people who remind me that I am not 30 anymore; that my fracture was perhaps a wake-up call to “hang up the bIades” I will get back on the ice.

You see, it’s like this: 

I began skating when I was nine and have rarely been off the ice. And thanks to a life-long running habit I have never seriously been out of shape. 

Despite occasional respites from skating to write, I feel at home on the ice. Skating is like riding a bike: we never forget how. While there exists the occasional hazard, skating is as natural as walking.

This recent mishap presents a situation no different from that of a cyclist, who learns to ride a bike at five and later in life suffers a freak accident. This is not a nudge to retire the bike.

Life has its ups and downs and my fracture provides an opportunity to feel the fear, get back on the ice, put on the music and enjoy some “beautiful skating.”

[pattycranston]

FATHER

“Just Be Happy”

l-r: My Dad wearing his ‘TCA” hat, Uncle Ken, my Mom

After a kiss goodbye and a hug for good luck, my father uttered those three words of sage advice before I boarded a plane heading to Vancouver and the Canadian Figure Skating Championships.

  Three small words - ‘just be happy’ -  that morphed into a mantra for the next six days.

Little did I realize their power! But my father knew the wisdom of keeping it simple. A pilot and 747-captain, he was well aware of the machinations of the mind. Staying calm under pressure was a prerequisite for his job. He said a positive state of mind would be my number one asset throughout the frenzied week of competition. After all, the physical part of my training was complete and now it was time for the mind to take over. It was simple.

Just be happy!

  Throughout that week I learned the power of the self-fulfilling prophecy: by constantly choosing the positive (‘happy’) no matter what challenge I faced gave me the confidence to push ahead, shatter self-doubt and conquer any lingering negativity.

  In those days – it was the 70s after all! – skating competitions started with “school figures”. While I had a sizable lead when they were complete, I still needed to skate my best in the free program if there was any hope of owning the title. My warm-up was nothing short of a disaster. I could barely land a jump. My coach was ready to disown me! She was more nervous than I as she watched me play the part of “human Zamboni”!

  Following that forgettable warm up there were two skaters ahead of me, so I had time to take a breather before I my turn to skate. In an attempt to clear my mind, I stepped outside the building and noticed, in the distance, pale streaks of pink sunlight trying to penetrate the mountain ridges. I smiled and felt … hmmm … happy! I said a prayer of thanks for the gift of my father’s guiding influence.

  When I stepped on the ice for the freeskate, I felt amazingly calm despite the horrendous warm-up. My name was called; the music started, and throughout the following 3-1/2 minutes, I couldn’t put a foot wrong! It was the skate of my life!

  Fittingly, it was my father who captained the flight back to Toronto following Nationals. Aboard the plane were several of my fellow competitors and skating officials who he personally invited into the cockpit one by one. Just as a perfect jump, the plane floated in the sky and touched down in a silky-smooth landing!

  Thank you Dad. I will toast you this Father’s Day and pass on those three small words.