five names? wow. did you count your surname in that, or is it five plus the surname? were your parents just a bit indecisive, or did they make too many promises and end up naming you after half the people they know? is zoey the actual first name, or just the one you liked best out of the bunch? see, now you've raised a whole pile of questions, consider my mind officially blown. i'm still petitioning for menace to be added to yours, though. what's one more when you have already five? right, the mean kid who's the bullies' worst enemy, that one's my favourite. think it automatically gives you the right to have a bit of attitude. i know, and it'd be funny all the time if it wasn't so bloody frustrating too. wish i could just not let it get to me most days, but my brain's a bit weak like that sometimes and it just makes me angry. maybe you should write a script about those journalists and paparazzi, hold up a mirror to their faces and give them a proper “wait, is this fucking play about us?” moment. i like those journalist friends of yours, they're doing the kind of work that really matters. i have mad respect for them, they risk a lot reporting on the state of the world and all that. even the ones who do interviews with you, the ones who have done their research, who respect your privacy, and still write something thoughtful. doesn't even have to flatter you for me to appreciate it. i just wish the job didn't come with people expecting you to happily let them poke around your life, like you owe them every detail. that stalking bit of it really puts me off. i don't want to share everything, and i don't see the harm in that but somehow it always gets twisted into something negative. like, if you don't talk about your relationship, then apparently you don't love the person. when really, it's just that my first public one was far too public, and it bit me in the arse in the end. i just don't want that again. we can stick with just menace being added, it already hints at the troublemaker thing anyway. thought that was a middle child syndrome, though, getting into trouble constantly, not the youngest. i thought they were the ones getting away with everything. not sure i'm ready to sacrifice my style for those anti-pap scarves, even if i think they're genius but i might nick the pulling-faces trick off you. that one sounds like fun. i have done the 'wear the same outfit so they can't use the photos' one before, that sometimes does the trick too. yeah, yeah, i see your point. especially with serial killer stuff, some of those films can get very creepy and really walk that line between glorifying and criticising. but i can't pretend i'm not fascinated by the art of it, how convincing some actors can be. i suppose we're all a bit creepy at times and you're right about it. gooood. hope accepting the bestie proposal means you know you're getting dragged along to pub crawls now and will have to endure plenty more of my yapping. swimming with sharks? i've heard they can be the most curious and friendly creatures, so long as they don't mistake you for food. still, feeding them right in front of you sounds a bit risky, doesn't it? a bit of both for me. not quite as exhilarating as your shark adventure, but i did get together with my girlfriend on that trip, so it was a bit special all the same.