THIS IS ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT
my mom was 17 and my dad was 27 when they got together and they’re still together now after almost 40 years and they love their life and raised me and my sister in the best way ever!
and my whole life my parents told me that my mom was very mature and my dad even says that he never felt as sure of a relationship, he knew he could trust my mom and he asked her for advice and he treated her with the utmost respect. mom always says they were deeply in love and she had never wanted ANYONE before my dad but he just stole her heart since they were so in harmony together.
IT DEPENDS, NOT ALL TEENS CAN SUSTAIN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A MUCH OLDER MAN BUT SOME CAN!
no
no
no
nonononono oh my fucking god
no
For starters, I’m happy your mom and dad and you and your sister are happy, that’s fantastic, I’m glad it worked out.
but this is seriously fucked up
GROWN-ASS MEN. SHOULD NOT. BE ATTRACTED. TO TEENAGERS. NO. NO. NO.
I’m a 17 year old dude and I physically can not be attracted to someone more than a year younger than me, because they are immature, they just are, no matter how ‘mature’ they are, they. are. fucking. CHILDREN. I AM A CHILD. I have changed so, so much since just last year, and I know I will change even more this year. Teenagers ARE CHILDREN. They are STILL going through puberty, they are still growing, their minds are NOT adult yet. Even if they are 18, they’re still trying to find their way in the world and their brains STILL AREN’T MATURED. You ask ANY 30+ year old about their 18 year old selves and 99% of them will say how naive they were or how they wouldn’t make the same choices they made then, now.
The fact that your mom ACTED mature as a kid and had her head screwed on straight is great, but that makes it even worse to think that she could handle that kind of relationship. That’s like saying the 12 year olds that are super precocious and intelligent are ready for a relationship, just because they’re ~so mature.~
What if she was 16. What if she was 15. What if she was 14. What if, what if. She’s still mature for her age, right? What makes those ages any less okay?
NO 27 YEAR OLD GUY SHOULD BE ATTRACTED TO A FUCKING MINOR. NO 27 YEAR OLD GUY SHOULD WANT TO DATE A MINOR. NO 27 YEAR OLD GUY SHOULD ACT ON THOSE URGES. BECAUSE YOUNG GIRLS ARE RAISED TO BE INSECURE AND HAVING A MATURE MAN TELL THEM THAT THEY’RE DESIRABLE IS A HUGE CONFIDENCE BOOST AND IS MANIPULATION WHETHER THEY KNOW IT OR NOT.
It is an adult’s RESPONSIBILITY to say no. If a minor likes them, or if they happen to develop feelings, even if they shouldn’t. Just don’t act on them. It is very, very easily to not act on feelings. It is your job to not be a creep and take advantage of a naive child.
IT IS NEVER OKAY FOR ANYONE TO DATE/COURT/INTERACT WITH A MINOR IN ANY SEXUAL OR ROMANTIC WAY. EVEN IF THEY HAVE ~NO BAD INTENTIONS.~ IT’S MANIPULATIVE AND A BIG SHIFT OF POWER EVEN IF IT’S ~EVEN~ AND IT’S SO SO SO CREEPY.
PLEASE DON’T PUT THIS OUT THERE FOR YOUNG GIRLS, OR BOYS, OR NON-BINARY KIDS TO SEE.
Because it is. not. okay. Even if it does work out eventually, it shouldn’t have happened in the first place.
After my parents broke up, my dad, 33 yo, went into a relationship with a 18 yo. They’re still together to this day, had two beautiful children, and I’m sure if my half siblings saw this post they would have commented the same as the first commenter. Because they’re the relationship’s children, and because they’re hidden things a lot. Because I eavedrop a lot, I can tell you that this loving, perfect, romantic relationship is fucked up to the core. Because I needed to reach 33 yo myself to be fully aware how fucked up it was.
My dad didn’t want to get into a relationship with an adult, and made an exception for my step mother because she was “so mature”. He wanted a teen. Specifically a teen. He only dated teens. So he could raise them into the wife he wanted. It was totally calculated.
This is why they’re still together this day. She dress like he wants, lost weight like he wanted, She became as racist and conservative as him. She does all the houses chores, sometimes even late at night, while he watches tv, like he wanted, and then tells everyone around him she’s a clean freak and makes fun of her. He forced her to get an abortion, for a child she wanted. She still talks about it. She never forgot, never forgave him. And still, she stayed. Because she has no prior experience, and has no idea how bad their relationship is.
When an adult say that a teen is “mature” enough for a realtionship with him, he means she’s submissive. He means she listens to him and is easily convinced by his opinion. He means she’s calm and easy to deal with.
When an adult is attracted to a teen, they’re attracted to their own dominant position in the relationship. A teen doesn’t know what they want in life. So they’re no conflict : the adult convince her that she wants what he wants. An adult is not attracted to a teen despite her age. He’s attracted to her because of it. A mature teen is not an adult. It’ something else, and no adult should date them.
Read this until you can say it in your sleep
My mother was 18, my father 29 or 30 when they got together. One year later they married. My mother acted so mature and confident back then but she was so young and naive. She didnt know better. A grown up man was interested in her. She fell in love and they got two children. They are married now for 35 years and she wants a divorce because she found out what he has done this whole time. He manipulated her from the beginning into what he wanted. He got her flowers everytime we got visitors, he even does that nowadays. Everytime she was too confident and didnt tag along what HE wanted, he would make her look bad in the eyes of friends or neighbours to destroy her confidence. She didnt know better back then, she let do all of that stuff with her.
Only because I started therapy to take care of my deression and anxiety caused by the way my father likes to raise his children, we found out what shit he has done and still does. He is manipulating people, needs to control others and is selfish as fuck. My mom still cant leave him because she still has feelings and she has never been on her own. My mom is a broken woman.
Now tell me that that is a healthy relationship? He had a wife before her that was the same age as him and after a year she got a divorce because he changed so much.
I believe he chose a younger woman on purpose to control her and to make her into what he wanted. Before I found out about all of this I thought our family was a lucky one. We were so close to each other and so happy. That‘s what I believed and it was just an illusion. I was too young and naive to understand it myself. It needed a therapy and long talks with my mom to understand. To make her understand.
