Celebrity BB

Juliana // 23 // Canada

[ulibeanzz]

every now and my cat does something very human like and i get very nervous and ask him “are you a person trapped in a cat’s body. or did you choose this body” very seriously to see if this time he will communicate with me and he always kinda looks to the side and then does what i imagine to be a person doing a bad impression of a cat and it makes me so nervous cuz  i do way too much weird shit around my cat for him to actually be a dude pretending to be a cat

[socialnetworkhell]

The type of anxiety this post invokes is so rare and specific

[yourboyfriiend]

peter pettigrew traumatized us

[magnifficent-blog]

I may be a little weird but at least i didnt write fifty shades of grey 

[greyhyms-deactivated20220506]

why are 90% of urls attached to popular text posts deactivated?  is someone picking them off, assassin style, or have these users won their freedom from this website, gladiator style

[whitepeopletwitter]

[thisblogisinactivesorrey]

You know what matters?? What like, truly matters? Bones and moths and fungi. Nothing else. Fuck calculus

[snackwizard]

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.

find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.

talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore

picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else

if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.

[wildlyannoyingdoofus]

… 8|

That’s some pretty good advice. I don’t know what’s left of my humor after ‘guess I’ll just die’ jokes but it’s worth a shot.

[snackwizard]

Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining

[808lien]

This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.

[maramahan]

Here’s a tip I picked up from a friend that’s helped me a lot — replace self deprecating jokes with ironically self aggrandizing jokes

Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”

Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”

When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?

And eventually it becomes a reflex and you get so used to it that you can say nice stuff about yourself even when you AREN’T joking

[jkl-fff]

[scottjate]

This is so important

[lilbabyscorpion-deactivated2020]

THE LAW OF ATTRACTION IS REAL AF. U DONT HAVE TO “THINK POSITIVE” EVERYDAY, THAT SHIT AINT REALISTIC. JUST REMEMBER TO ALIGN UR THOUGHTS W/ WHAT UR TRYNA ACHIEVE & THE UNIVERSE WILL MATCH U TENFOLD.

[unclefather]

me in a Best Buy: excuse me, which one is the best

employee: I’m sorry, what?

me: which is the best to buy

[stachionalgeographic]

myspace but pronounced like versace

[sealedbeastnue]

“what time is it” you ask, i pull out my 2.7 metric ton granite sundial and immediately crush both of your feet, I loudly announce “it is cloudy”

[basiltonsnowpitch]

baz: it’s called cauliflower, simon. it’s not “ghost broccoli”. 

simon: i know what i saw.

[strain]

@nasa if you need anyone to go into a black hole i volunteer 

[binchplea-deactivated20180815]

[jmeswilson-deactivated20150201]

[meanplastic]

[samandriel]

I have a chicken named Noodle and she’s a bit under the weather and all she ever wants to do is cuddle. It’s past chicken bedtime and she was having trouble sleeping alone, so I took her out for a snuggle and she fell asleep with her head laying on my chest and she made the softest snores and I love her

[samandriel]

Sadly Noodle’s prognosis is not looking good and she may not make it through this. My little bearded friend has showered me with love and affection since the day I got her. I chose Noodle because she was the chubbiest, happiest little chick in the bunch. I’m so happy I got to raise this smart little goof ball. She’s such a weirdo but she’s so full of love. Below is a picture of the day I brought her home and earlier today. 

Love you Chicken Noodle

[samandriel]

GOOD NEWS

THE VET WAS VERY WRONG

MY NOODLE BIRD IS DOING FINE

She’s feeling so much better and is just loving all the personalized attention

[samandriel]

Miss Noodle is going to remain a house chicken for a couple more days just until we’re absolutely sure she’s out of the woods and she’s honestly so thrilled about it because it means never ending snuggles

Here she is with her boyfriend Pharaoh who helped keep her calm when she was feeling really bad

[tinysaurus-rex-deactivated20240]

Her boyfriend doesn’t even look real. he has a doll face. he was perfectly sculpted by the chicken gods.

[raejin99]

Noodle deserves no less.

[continuants]

ilu noodle

[rural-hart]

NOODLE LIVES!

[taquito]

the cashier asked me how im gonna pay like in terms of cash or card and i just said “money” cause i meant cash and she went “thats how it works”

[deaddolin]

im the cashier