JJ

IDEK :)

[pazziverse535]

Masterlist!!

Series:

Hypocrite:

Summary: In the aftermath of a painful breakup, Azzi and Paige struggle to convince themselves, and everyone around them, that they've moved on. While Azzi throws herself into new connections and Paige can't stop watching from a distance, their closest friends begin to see through the façades they've built. As old wounds, lingering feelings, and unanswered questions resurface, both women are forced to confront whether they're truly ready to let go, or if they're simply running from the love they never stopped feeling. Inspired by the song Hypocrite by Zolita 🙂

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter 3

No Matter How Far:

Summary: Everyone knew Paige Bueckers and Azzi Fudd were inseparable. What no one knew was that every summer, every phone call, every shared laugh, and every goodbye had quietly become the foundation of a love neither of them had the words to explain. Before the headlines. Before the championships.

Chapter one

All The Things I Couldn't Say

Summary: A year after stepping away from the spotlight, Azzi Fudd has become the question no one can answer. While the world speculates about her disappearance from basketball, Paige Bueckers has mastered the art of saying exactly what people want to hear. Some secrets are worth protecting while others slowly become impossible to keep.In the end, it's the things left unsaid that have the power to change everything.

Chapter one

[pazziverse535]

Just read your new fic and all I have to say is pleaseeeeee 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 don’t let azzi or one of the twins die

Also how will Paige go on maternity leave? Like what will she say to the fans?

And did azzi not declare for the draft bc she was already pregnant or what, will we learn as the story progresses?

Also do the ppl on the team know they’re married and having babies?

Sorry I’m asking a lot😂

Thank you so much for reading it!!! I'm super glad you enjoyed it.

I will say No one dies in this fic! (I think I'd cry the whole time trying to write it. 😭) But Azzi may or may not have some more complications later in the story.

The reason wasn't because she was pregnant. It was because she was in the process of trying to get pregnant. But, more of this will be discussed in the next fe chapters 😉

As of right now the only people that know are the coaches, Arike, and Madi. They'll all be introduced next chap!

Don't worry about asking questions, I really love answering them and it actually helps me brainstorm too!! 😂

[pazziverse535]

All The Things I Couldn't Say Chap 1: Behind Closed Doors

AN: Hi guys! So just like my other fics, I've had this chapter written for a while. This is one is different from my other two stories but I hope you enjoy it just as much. There are some heavier moments throughout the story so please keep the CW in mind 🙏🏼. Also, I am not a Dr in anyway so some of the conditions and terms can be taken with a grain of salt. Love y'all! 🫶🏽💛

WC: 2.8K

CW: High risk pregnancy, health concerns, Religion (prayer) , breech pregnancy.

“And here she is! Two time WNBA All-Star, last year's Rookie of the Year, 3 time All American, and so much more. Please help me welcome to the stage, the one and only Paige Bueckers!" 

The crowd erupted in a sea of cheers and the lights shined brighter than ever in her eyes as the tall blonde stepped onto the stage.

“Paige! It’s so good to see you! How are you doing?” Jackie greeted Paige once Paige had settled into the slightly oversized arm chair. 

“I’m doing pretty good, how about you?” 

She was used to the interviews, although this setup was new to her. The rapid questions and perfectly articulated answers rarely phased her anymore. 

“Can’t complain.” The older woman answered as she nodded a few times. “Well first of all I wanna thank you for coming on today. I’m so glad to have you!” 

“Thank you for having me.” Paige replied. 

Her voice had been so intently trained that to those who didn’t know her,you’d think it was natural.

You see, Paige had grown up in the public eye. Flashing cameras from the media, journalists asking their most burning questions, and fans asking for pictures outside of hotels and even random amusement parks.

 Don’t get her wrong, Paige was beyond grateful for everything that she had. This was her dream after all, but there was a part of her that was getting tired of keeping secrets all the time. 

“Let’s get into the questions shall we?” Jackie asked. 

“Let’s do it!” She beamed. 

“So you’ve stepped into a new role as a vet this season, how has that adjustment been so far?” Jakie asked with a raised eyebrow. Setting her notecards gently on the arm rest.  

“It’s definitely been an adjustment but it’s been awesome and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’m so lucky to be a part of such a great team, a great franchise. The rooks and the new members we got through free agency, they all came into training camp ready to learn, wanting to learn, and I think when you have people who have that kind of passion for the game it makes it that much easier to step into a new role and steer the team in a better direction.” 

“As you said you guys have some great rookies this year. What have you noticed the most from Lauren Betts, the number one overall pick, so far this season?” 

“I think first thing is that she's a baller. She’s an amazing post player and I think that’s a key part that we were lacking last season. We didn’t have many bigs last year so it made our match ups with some of the bigger teams that much harder. Off the court though, she’s a great teammate. She came onto the team asking what work there was to be done and doing her best to make sure that the team was in good spirits, so we’re very lucky to have her.” 

Jackie nodded along, and Paige could hear some soft clapping from the crowd. 

“I know you and Azzi have been pretty close for a while, and it’s not often that the viewers get to see best friends play together like that.” Paige nodded along. Usually she could get a grip on where the questions were gonna go, but she couldn’t quite grasp this one just yet.“We know you were hoping for Azzi to join the draft last year. I think it’s fair to say everyone was looking forward to it as well. Any update on why she ultimately ended her basketball career after all this time?” 

There it was. Paige had been avoiding this question for months, and she had been doing a pretty good job at it, but a part of her had always known it was inevitable.  

“I-” She paused. Wheels clearly turned in her mind as she tried her best to find the right answer. Her gaze shifted towards the crowd who was silent with anticipation. “I’m not really sure. I mean she’s a great player, always has been. Anyone who watched her play can vouch for the fact that she’s an automatic bucket. She can score from all three levels, she’s a team player, her defense was largely taken for granted, at the end of the day she’s one of the most perfect basketball players the sport has ever seen. As far as why her career ended. I’m not…I don’t know. If she decides she is willing to come back to the sport, then I’ll support her. We’ll support her, but until then she’s just doing what's best for her.” 

Paige let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Hopefully that was enough to hold her over for a while. 

“Well we’re all hoping she’s doing well, and maybe she’ll come back someday.” 

Paige forced a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. She was really hoping that they could move on from the subject. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk about Azzi, she just wasn’t sure how to answer questions when it came to the younger girls career. She knew everyone was curious and she couldn’t blame them, but part of her wished Azzi’s personal business could stay as private as possible.  

“So” Jackie started “we’ve seen you spending more and more time on the court with Rae Burell who recently got traded from the Sparks. Can we get any insight into what's going on there?” Jackie’s eyebrows raised. 

“Yeah, she’s been a big addition to the team both offensively and defensively. As far as us spending time together, I try to make sure I spend time with all of my teammates. Having a connection off the court is just as important as having one on the court. It’ll only help enhance your connection on the court. We have team bonding at peoples houses,we go to concerts, bars, restaurants, wherever really. So we as a team have just been trying to make sure that she feels as comfortable as possible. Especially with her coming in after the season had already started.” 

“So you guys are getting pretty close?” 

Paige knew what was happening. Jackie, who was known to pry into the private lives of athletes, was looking for anything to turn into a news headline. Even if it had to be taken out of context.

“I’m close with all of my teammates.” Paige answered confidently, adding a shoulder shrug. 

 She could tell that Jackie wasn’t happy with the answer she had given, but she wasn’t going to give her anything to feed off of. She didn’t need any more drama. 

“Ok, well that’s all we have for you today. Thank you so much again for being here.” 

“Thank you for having me.” Paige smiled. 

“Let’s give it up one more time for Paige!” 

Paige waived to the crowd as she walked off the stage. 

Once she was behind the curtain and her mic had been taken off, she could feel her shoulders relax. 

“You did great out there.” The tech lady said as she packed the mic back up into its case. 

“Thank you.” She said politely as she moved to her dressing room. 

XXXXXX

“Hey babe!” She called as she made her way into the house and hung her keys on the hook by their large glass front door.

“In here!” A voice called from farther inside the house. 

Paige couldn’t help it as she smiled at the sound of her wife's voice. Following it into the kitchen. “Something smells good. Is that for me?” Paige said as she kissed her gently on the lips. 

The brunette chuckled slightly. “Garlic roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, and seasoned rice. Hope you're hungry.” She said as she raised her eyebrows teasingly.   

“You're the best, you know that?” 

“I know,” She joked with a wink and a shrug of her shoulders. 

Paige chuckled and shook her head slightly at the woman's antics. 

“How was your appointment?” Paige said as she began to rub the younger girl's shoulders. 

She knew that Azzi had been pretty tense lately and she always tried her best to help her relax when she could. 

“It went well. I wish you could’ve been there though.” She turned the burner off, and turned to face her wife.

“I know baby, but I promise I’ll be there for the next one.” Paige said as she looked at the love of her life.

She knew she made that promise a lot, and she really did try to follow through, but with training, media appearances, film, practice, lift, recovery, games, and everything that came in between, it didn’t leave her much free time. 

“Paige-” Azzi sighed. She couldn’t help but think of the last time the blonde made the same promise.

“I promise, baby. No matter what. I’m not missing any more appointments.” Paige said making sure her voice was stern enough to get the point across but not at all harsh. She watched as the last ounce of hesitation left the brunette's eyes. 

“Ok.” 

“I love you Azzi.” Paige said. She then knelt to her knees and kissed Azzi’s baby bump on each side. “I love you guys too.” Paige added. 

“And we love you.” Azzi replied as she helped Paige to her feet. 

“Did you work today?” Paige asked as she moved around the kitchen to help Azzi with the remainder of dinner. 

“No, I called out. They wanted to run some extra tests on the twins.” 

“More?” Paige questioned. 

It was beginning to feel like all they did was run tests these days. They already had Azzi coming in for appointments every other week. What more could they want?  

“Yeah, baby boy is still breeched, and his heart rate is still lower than they’d like, but they said it seems like the shots they have me on are working.” 

“But he’s ok right?” Paige could feel her pulse begin to rise, and her breathing begin to come in a little shorter and faster. 

“He’s ok, but they wanna keep an eye on it. They want me to come back in two days. Depending on how things look they might have me stay in the hospital for a while.” Azzi said she reached for Paige's hands. The food on the stove simmered gently as it began to cool. 

“Stay in the hospital? How long? Do you know?” 

“Not sure. They said it could be days, weeks, or in the worst case they’ll keep me for the rest of my pregnancy. It really depends on my results.”  

Paige easily entangled their fingers. The contact immediately helped her feel a little more grounded. “Can we…can I pray over them?” 

They had always expressed how important faith was in their relationship,and their pregnancy journey was no different.

“Of course you can, baby. You never have to ask me that.” Azzi kissed Paige’s forehead.

Paige took a deep breath and moved to wrap her hands around the woman she loved most in the world before gently closing her eyes. 

“Lord, I pray that you will watch over our baby boy. May you give him health and make him strong. I ask that you will help his heart continue to beat as it should and grow stronger and stronger everyday. I pray that we will get an answer soon about whatever is wrong. I also pray that you’ll watch over our baby girl. May you keep her healthy and strong as well and allow her to flourish. Lastly, Lord, I ask that you watch over Azzi. May you allow her to remember just how strong she is. It’s not easy to bring two new lives in this world, but you chose her to do it. I pray that you will keep her healthy and supply healing wherever she may need it. May she remember that you are her strength, and that she can lean on you no matter what. I ask that you help her with any struggles she may be having mentally, physically, and spiritually. It’s in your beautiful name that I pray. Amen.” 

“Amen.” Azzi echoed. And she couldn’t help but smile as she opened her eyes. “Thank you baby.” 

Paige just hummed in response as she kissed the tip of Azzi’s nose. 

“Now let’s eat because I am absolutely starving.” Azzi said as she turned to grab two plates from one of the cabinets. 

“I can get with that.” Paige said as she moved to help her wife plate their food. 

XXXXXX

“P?” 

“Mhm.” 

“What happens when the babies are born?” Azzi asked. 

They had talked about it before but after watching Paiges’ interview with Jackie from earlier that day, she couldn’t help but ask. 

“What do you mean babe?” 

“I mean,no one knows about us babe. Everyone thinks you're with Rae, and I know that we agreed to keep the kids a secret, but Paige-.” Azzi sighed. “I can’t keep sitting here watching everyone make edits of you and Rae and talk about how cute of a couple you guys are.” 

She didn’t mean to cry, but between the pregnancy hormones and the weight of the conversation she just couldn’t help it.

“Oh baby. I’m so sorry my love.” Paige wrapped her arms around Azzi as she pulled her into her side. 

They were laying in bed watching some movie that Azzi had been begging to see ever since she saw a clip of it about two weeks ago. 

“I just…I feel invisible in your life Paige.” Azzi said. She watched the pained look on Paiges’ face and she knew that she worded her statement wrong. “Not to you, but to everyone else. I know you see me baby. Gosh you see me more than anyone ever has. But the rest of the world doesn’t know that.” She paused. “I’m not saying that I need their validation, because I don’t. You’re more than enough. You will always be all I ever need. I’m just saying that it’s hard to watch the world think they know your life when they don’t even know the half of it.”

Azzi understood the need to keep things private, for not only their safety but now their kids, but she couldn’t help but feel invisible in a way that she couldn’t quite explain.  

“I get it baby. I do. It kills me every time I do an interview and I can’t tell them about you. But then I think about it, and I remember why we decided to do this in the first place. The internet is a crazy place my love, and I don’t want to expose the twins to that. Not yet at least. Not while they're so young.”

“I know and in my head I know we’re doing the right thing, but it still sucks.” Azzi mumbled as she snuggled impossibly closer. 

“It does, doesn't it?” Paige said as she kissed the top of Azzi’s hair. “Good thing is, it doesn’t have to stay this way.” 

Azzi shifted so that her gaze was now locked on the blonde. “Hm?” 

“How about this, after the twins are born we can put out a statement or a post. It doesn’t have to be anything big. Just something to let people know that we’re together.” 

“I’d like that.” Azzi said as she took one of Paige’s hands and gently placed it on her stomach. “I think she agrees.” Azzi said with a chuckle, as she felt their daughter kicking. 

“You're just kicking up a storm in there huh?” Paige said when she felt the baby kick 3 more times. “You better be nice to your mama.” 

Azzi laughed as she watched the scene unfold. “I don’t think you're helping P.” She chuckled. 

“What do you mean I’m not helping?!” Paige exclaimed in mock offense. 

“You know she starts kicking more when she hears your voice. She gets excited.” Azzi laughed. 

“Aye not my fault.” Her arms flying up in defense. 

“She just loves her mommy.” Azzi added. 

“I love her too.” Paige said as she kissed the side that her daughter was on. “And of course my baby boy too.” She placed a kiss there as well. “Has he moved at all today?” Paige asked. 

She knew their son wasn’t nearly as active as his sister and the decreased movement would cause Azzi to panic sometimes. 

“Yeah. He was moving a lot this morning actually. It was probably the most I’ve felt from him.” Azzi said with a wide smile. “I was listening to some music this morning on the way to the doctor and he wouldn’t stop kicking.” Azzi’s smile grew at the memory. “It wasn’t the most comfortable thing because he was literally kicking my ribs, but I’m glad he was moving. I wish you could’ve been there.” She said with a soft smile. 

“That’s awesome baby. I’m sorry you were uncomfortable. It’s great he’s moving more, and I swear I’ll be there next time. No matter what.” 

“It’s ok. I didn’t mind the discomfort. I’d do it again as long as he’s healthy.” 

“You're gonna be a great mom baby.” 

“So are you my love.” Azzi kissed Paige lovingly.

[pazziverse535]

Oh yes ao3 is where I’ve read it! Excited to see it on tumblr :)

Thank you!! I've had a personal account on tumblr for a while so I decided why not post it here 🤷🏽‍♀️😁

[pazziverse535]

Is your new story a rewrite? I swear I’ve read something similar if not the same

I've cross written on AO3, but other than that I've never posted this fic before. I've had it written for a while and besides the four (I think) chapters that I've posted on A03 I've never posted this one.

[pazziverse535]

No Matter How Far Chap 1: Home is More Than a Place

A/N: Hey everyone! This story has been living in my drafts for a while now, and I'm so excited to finally start sharing it with you all! (I was having a little bit of writers block with Hypocrite so I decided to post this chapter instead 🫠) As always, thank you for taking the time to read something I've put so much time into! It truly means a lot! I hope you enjoy this journey just as much as I enjoy writing it. I can't wait to hear what you think!

WC: 1.5K

CW: Mentions of Divorce, feelings of isolation, mentions of and absent parent.

Summer break started almost two weeks ago and Paige had been absolutely miserable. Don’t get her wrong, she loved summer, hell it might just be her favorite season, but this year was different. 

Every summer she would leave to go stay with her “bestfriend” Azzi. But this year, with her parents getting divorced recently her dad decided that it was best if she stayed home. 

“Hey sweetheart.” She wasn’t really sure when her dad had come home, she hadn’t even heard the alarm go off, but here he was standing in the doorway of her bedroom that she hadn’t left since yesterday. 

Even though part of her longed to just be seen and understood by anyone, she couldn’t help but be slightly annoyed by her dads presence. 

“Hey dad.” Her voice was dry and mixed with traces of annoyance and sadness. She had curled her body into fetal position hours earlier and she hadn’t moved since. Her gaze was trained on a picture frame that had been sitting on her night stand for God knows how long. The picture frame held a collage of pictures. All of which were pictures of her and Azzi over the years. The younger girl had given it to her for her birthday last year, and now it seemed like it was one of the only things tying them together. 

“You doing alright kiddo?” Her dad asked. In all honesty Bob was worried about her. She wasn’t eating, she hadn’t left her room, without being forced to, in days, and she had even passed on going to the gym to hoop with him and her younger brother. 

“Yeah,”

“Paige-” His voice was softer now and she could hear the sympathy in it.  

“I’m fine dad, really!” She didn’t mean to snap at him. She was just tired of being asked if she was ok all the time. 

She knew she was nowhere close to being ok, but she had never opened up to her dad about how she felt. Not when her parents first split when she was only 3 years old, not when kids at school would ask her why she didn’t live with her mom, and not even when her dad introduced her to her stepmom and stepbrother. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to, she just wasn’t sure how to. 

“I’m sorry.” He would never force her to talk if she wasn’t ready. 

“It’s ok dad. I get it. You're not the only one who’s worried about me and honestly…I don’t blame you.” She sighed.

 Even though her parents had been separated for years she knew that the finalization of the divorce had been hard on him, and she never wanted to be the reason why his stress grew. 

“How about we talk about all of this?” Her dad closed the door softly behind him, and made his way towards the foot of her bed and sat down cautiously. 

“I guess” 

She didn’t really wanna talk about it. It had already been on her mind every second of everyday and the thought of talking about it made her realize how real all of this was.

 She had never liked to talk about her feelings, but she knew that her dad only wanted what was best for her and their family.  

“Can you tell me how you’re feeling?” He was aware that his daughter didn’t like to open up to him, or anyone really, but he figured it was worth a try. 

She sighed as thoughts of how to word her feelings began to swirl in her head, but her gaze still never left the frame. 

“I miss her dad-” It came out as more of a whisper as she tried to hold back her tears. 

All of this had become too much. Of course she missed Azzi. She was Paige’s world, she had been since she was 15. They had spent every moment they could together. Even states away they made sure to make the other their number one priority. 

“I know Kiddo.” 

“This is the longest we’ve ever been apart and…I know I can call her, but it’s not the same.” Silent tears began to spill down her face as she spoke. 

“Have you called her?” He knew the answer but he thought he should ask. 

“Of course! We talk everyday-” Paige let out a soft sigh before continuing. “But it’s not the same as being there next to her. I can’t hold her or give her hugs. I just…I want to be with her dad. I need to be with her.” 

Bob’s heart ached. He never wanted his daughter to feel this way. He knew how much Paige loved Azzi. Even when she claimed they were just best friends he knew that their love for each other  ran far deeper than a platonic friendship. And he knew that he would do anything to see his daughter smile again.

“ I know kid, and I know that she’s your best friend. Don’t get me wrong, I'm beyond grateful for her and her family. They love you as their own and I don’t know what we would do without them.” Paige stayed quiet as she let his words sink in and he took it as a sign to continue. “Paige, look at me for a second please.” She slowly changed positions so that she was now facing her dad. “I talked to Moe and Katie, and we all think that it would be best if you went to Virginia.” A bright smile took over his face as he spoke. 

“Really?” Paige sat up slightly, supporting herself on her elbows. She had prayed every night for this moment but no part of her ever thought it would come. 

“You’re miserable here kid. I want you to be happy and enjoy your summer. We all do. We know how important this is to you. To both of you. This is your last summer before college and you deserve for it to be special.” 

“Thanks dad!” Tears fell from her eyes, but this time they were tears of joy. 

“Anytime kid.” His smile was still plastered on his face as he watched his daughters spark return for the first time in almost two weeks. 

“ Does Az know?” She couldn’t stop the wide smile and blush that came on her face at the thought of the curly headed girl.

“Not yet. We thought that you’d want to be the one to tell her.” 

Paige quickly reached for her phone that had been plugged up on her nightstand and clicked Azzi’s contact. 

It only took two rings before the call connected and Azzi’s face lit up Paige’s screen.

“Hey P!” 

“Az!” Her voice was shaky with leftover tears and excitement. 

“Someone's excited.” Azzi pointed out with a  small chuckle. The one that made Paige's heart flutter every time, and Azzi was glad to finally hear the happiness in Paige’s voice again. 

“I’m coming to virginia, and I get to stay all summer, and I-” 

“Whoa whoa whoa. Slow down beautiful. You're coming here?” Her eyes widened slightly. Paige just nodded her head in excitement. Not being able to fully form words.“I thought your dad wanted you to stay there for the summer?” 

“He did, but he said I looked miserable.” She said with a small chuckle of her own. 

Paige looked over at her dad who was still sitting on her bed with a wide closed lip smile on his face. 

“He said he talked to Moe and your mom, and they all agreed that it was best if I came there.” Paige was slightly out of breath as she finally finished her rambling.

“That’s…that’s awesome P!” Azzi was smiling from ear to ear on the other end of the phone. “When do you fly in?” 

It was at that moment Paige realized that she wasn’t sure. She turned to look at her dad again, giving him a questioning look. 

“Dad?” 

“She flies in tomorrow night.” Her dad said just loud enough for Azzi to hear him through the phone. 

“Tomorrow?!” The two girls said in unison. Shocked by how soon the flight was. Bob just nodded and let the girls continue to revel in their excitement. 

“Az!” Paige didn’t even know what to say “I-” 

“ I know P” Azzi understood everything Paige wanted to say. Even when she hadn’t said much of anything at all. 

They sat in silence for a second. Giving themselves time to  take in the new information. “Hey P?” 

“Yeah Az?” 

“ I gotta go cause I have weight training in 20 minutes but I’ll call you tonight I promise.”

 She  didn’t want to get off the phone and she knew the blonde felt the same, but she really did  need to head to the gym soon. 

“Ok Az, I love you!” 

“ Love you too Paigey!” 

Azzi hung up the phone shortly after. Leaving Paige alone with her dad once again. 

“Thank you dad” It still hadn’t sunk in completely, but she was more than grateful that her dad was willing to let her go. 

“Anytime kiddo.” He smiled again before standing from  the bed. “You should start packing soon. You don’t want to wait till the last minute.” He walked to the door but turned to face her once more before he exited. “I would bring a few bathing suits, Katie said they have some things planned for you all.” He winked before leaving and closing the door behind him. Leaving Paige with sore cheeks from grinning ear to ear.

[pazziverse535]

Hypocrite Chap: 3 The Courage to Try

AN:

We're getting closer and closer to the conversation these two have been avoiding, and I'm so excited, and a little nervous 😅, for you all to read what's coming next. As always, thank you for reading!

WC: 3.1K

CW: Anxiety/overthinking, slight mention of low self-worth, mild language.

“Katie?”

“Hey kiddo!” The older woman greeted as she stepped into the small corner tattoo shop. 

“What-what are you doing here?” Paige gasped, moving from her station to greet her. 

“What?” She gasped sarcastically. “Do I need a reason to come and visit? ” She teased.

Katie stepped forward, meeting Paige where she was before wrapping her arms around the woman who had always been a second daughter to her. The same woman who had loved her daughter completely, genuinely, and unconditionally. 

“No no of course not. I just…I wasn’t expecting-” Her voice trailed. 

Katie nodded as stepped out of the blonde's space. 

“How are you doing?” 

Paige ran her hands down her jeans. “Oh you know, I’ve got a couple new clients and that’s always good. Business has been pretty good so I’ve been working a lot. Just trying to keep myself busy.” She answered, nodding her head as she glanced around the empty shop. 

Katie gave her a pointed look. “You know that’s not what I meant.” 

Paige sighed. “I know.” 

“I’m worried about you kiddo.” 

Paige nodded. “I’m worried about me too.” She mumbled. 

Katie pulled out two stools from one of the nearby work stations, gently sliding one across the floor towards Paige. 

“Talk to me.” She prompted. 

“I knew it would be hard. But, I never thought it would be this hard.” She fought the urge to pick at her fingers. She knew Katie hated it when she did that. “I didn’t know it could hurt this bad.” Her voice shook from tears that threatened to spill over. “I just miss her so fucking much Katie.” Her gaze finally met the older woman's. “I miss her so much it makes me sick.” 

“Have you told her?” 

“I-I called her. I told her I was sorry. Told her that I still…that I still love her.” 

Katie smiled. It was small but it was pure. “What’d she say?” 

“She said she wanted to talk.” 

Paige tore a gaze away. Letting it fall to her fingers that were resting in her lap. 

“Sounds like she’s giving you a chance.” Katie prompted, as she raised a single eyebrow. 

Katie was right. Azzi was giving her a chance, and no matter how grateful she was for it, part of her believed she wasn’t worthy of a second chance. 

Paige sighed, finally giving into the temptation of messing with her fingers. “What if I hurt her? Again.” She lifted her eyes meeting the gaze of Azzi’s mom, but the connection only lasted for a second. “I never wanted to hurt her Katie. I swear, I would never-” 

“I know you didn’t, but that doesn’t stop the hurt kiddo.” Her lips still trained in a tight lipped smile as she looked at the woman in front of her. “Look at me Paige,” she paused as the blonde reluctantly met her gaze. “I know you didn’t want to hurt her. And trust me honey, she knows that too. But you can’t let this fear and hurt take over your life. If she’s giving you a chance, take it. She’s not asking you to be anything you're not. She’s just asking you to be you, and you’re more than enough.” 

“Really?” Paige questioned, whipping a few loose tears from her cheeks. 

“Have I ever been one to lie?” she asked. A pointed look on her face. 

Paige chuckled, thankful for Katie and the conversation she didn’t know she needed. “I guess not.” She said, while playfully rolling her eyes. “Seriously, thank you.” 

“Anytime kid.” Katie smiled, standing from her stool and guiding Paige to do the same. Once the blonde was on her feet, she wrapped her in a warm embrace once again. “You’re just as much my daughter as Azzi. You know that.” 

“Yeah, I know.” Paige smiled.

She took a deep breath. Allowing herself to fully feel the comfort that came with someone so familiar. 

“Love you kid.” 

“I love you too.” 

Katie gave her one last squeeze before taking a step back. “I’m gonna head out.” She started. “I gotta stop by the grocery store to pick up some things.” She said as she made her way towards the front door of the shop. “Any more clients today?” 

“Ummm…not really. Nika’s off today, Ice is grabbing lunch, and I finished all of my scheduled appointments this morning. Anything else would be walkins.” She shrugged as she looked at the printed client schedule that hung at the front. 

Katie nodded. “Well, make sure you get some food, and don’t get home too late. You know I don’t like you on those roads too late.” 

Paige smiled. Grateful she had someone like Katie in her life. She’d missed their dynamic these past months. She chuckled. “I ate before you came, and I’ll make sure I get home safely, promise.” Her smile grew knowing the older woman would be more than satisfied with her answer. 

Katie nodded a smile slowly growing on her face as well. “And stop picking at your fingers.” She added sternly. 

“Ugh.” Paige sighed dramatically. A pout formed on her face as she crossed her arms like a toddler. “I can’t help it!” She pleaded. 

“I mean it!” was all Katie said before pushing the door open and offering a small wave. 

Paige waived back and watched as the woman made her way towards her car. Gosh she missed this family. 

XXXXXX

“Hey mom!” Azzi greeted as she pulled open her front door. 

“Hi sweetheart.” 

“How was the flight?” 

“Oh you know.” She shrugged. “Same as always, long, and boring.” Katie had made the flight from Virginia to Texas plenty of times since the two had moved here. 

“Was there a delay? You got here later than I was expecting.” She asked as she moved to check her phone. 3:55. Her moms flight had landed just before twelve. 

“Oh, I made a couple pit stops on the way.” She shrugged. Moving into the kitchen to set down the groceries she had picked up. “This is a very nice kitchen honey. I love the cabinets.” She said as she looked around. She’d never  been to Azzi’s new place before. 

“Oh…thanks.” Azzi blinked a couple times.  ‘Where could her mom possibly have gone?’ She took a small breath before she spoke again “Where’d you stop?” She asked, as she helped her mom put away the groceries. 

“Oh, I stopped by the shop.” 

Azzi’s hand stopped mid air where she’d been moving to place some spices in the spice cabinet. “The shop?” 

She really didn’t need to ask. She knew exactly what shop her mom was talking about. She just didn’t know why she was there. 

“Yeah.” She shrugged. “I can’t stop by?” 

Given the weight of the situation, her mom seemed very calm. Scarily calm. 

“I-I guess you can.” She finished putting away the last of the spices before closing the cabinet. She moved quickly across the kitchen. Trying her best to distract herself with the groceries still waiting to be put up. “How-how is she?” 

She didn’t really mean to say the words out loud, but she wouldn’t allow herself to take them back. 

“She’s Paige.” Her mom answered. “Stubborn as always. Where do your bags go honey?” she asked. 

“Oh, it’s the first cabinet under the stove.” 

 She nodded as she put them away before gently leaning against the island. “She’s trying her best to hide it, but she’s hurting, and clearly exhausted.” She continued. 

“But, she’s ok right?” It came out more desperate than she had hoped. 

“I guess you could say that.”  Katie sighed.  “She’s not herself sweetheart.” 

“Yeah well, I’m not myself much either these days.” Azzi sighed as she thought about the blonde she missed more than she ever knew was possible.

“I think you all should have that talk. Soon.” 

“I-I don’t know mom.” Her shoulders shrank as she played with the hem of her tank top. “Maybe it’s best if we give each other space.” 

“Why? Cause you're scared.” 

Her gaze snapped to Katie's. “Yes mom! I’m terrified!” 

She hadn’t meant to raise her voice, but the emotions were starting to become too much. 

“Of what sweetheart?” 

“That she-that she’ll hate me!” She sobbed. 

Katie rounded the island, pulling her daughter into her arms. “Oh honey.” She ran her fingers through the brunette's slightly tangled curls. Trying her best to console her. “She doesn’t hate you.” 

“But-but I’ve done so much since we broke up, I-I went out with other people, I’ve flirted with people, I-” Her voice trailed. She was not going there with her mom. “I tried so hard. I tried to find anything, anyone, to fill the hole she left…and I couldn’t.” She sobbed. “But, I know if she did the same thing, if she even looked at someone the way I’ve looked at some of those women, I’d-” 

“You’d what honey?” She coaxed. 

“I-I” Azzi gasped as realization flooded over her. “ I’d want to hate her… but I’d still love her. I’d never stop loving her.” 

Katie gave her daughter time to sit in her own realization. 

“Then why don’t you think she’d do the same for you?” She reasoned. 

Azzi’s tears had slowed, and her breathing was starting to return to normal. 

“I-I don’t know.” She mumbled. ‘Would Paige still love her? Even after everything?’ 

“Well, you’ll never know until you talk to her.”

Azzi sighed. “I know.” 

“It doesn’t have to be today, it doesn’t even have to be tomorrow. But soon.” 

Azzi nodded, still wrapped in the familiar comfort of her mothers arms. 

“Soon.” She repeated as she closed her eyes and let herself feel the love her mom was giving her. 

XXXXXX

It’d been two weeks since Katie left. It’d been good having her mom in town and she’d promised to bring the rest of the family next time she came. 

In the week that Katie had stayed, they’d spent a lot of their time going to shops and strip malls in the area, trying new recipes, and finding some more decor for Azzi’s new place. 

11 AM 

Mom ♥️: Hey honey! Just checking in!

Az: Thanks mom.  I’m doing pretty well. Busy at work though 😕

Mom ♥️: Don’t work yourself too hard honey. 

Az: I won’t.  I promise 

Mom ♥️:  Ok. As long as you're taking care of yourself. 

Az: I am 🙃

Mom ♥️: 😂

Have you talked to P yet?

Azzi let out a short gasp. She wasn’t necessarily surprised her mom had asked, she’d never been one to stall, but it still caught her off guard.

.

Az: MOM!!!

Mom♥️: What! I was just asking!

Azzi let out a small chuckle. She knew her mom meant well. 

Az: Not yet. Soon though. Promise 🤞🏽

Mom ♥️: Ok sweetheart. I’m gonna let you get back to work. Let me know if you need anything. Love you ♥️!

Az: I love you too ♥️!!! 

“That Paisley?” Kk questioned as she placed a newly stapled set of papers on her desk.   

“Uhhh no…no.” Azzi stammered. “Just my mom.” She shrugged. 

“Oh, ok.” KK reached for the stack of folders she kept underneath her desk before sliding the stapled set inside. “Those are done by the way, they just need your review.” She smiled as she handed the brunette the folder. 

“Thanks.” Azzi smiled softly. 

Kk nodded. “No problem. 

Silence fell over the pair as they turned back to their respective tasks. 

As much as she tried, Azzi couldn’t focus. 

She was great at her job. Always had been. But something, more like someone, had been clouding her head lately. 

She rubbed her hands down her face letting out a sigh as she tried her best to clear her mind. 

“Hey KK?” She asked. Gently setting down her yellow highlighter she used for major details. 

“What’s up?” 

“Can I tell you something?” Her brows furrowed slightly as she tried to put her feelings into words. 

“Course Z. What’s going on?” 

“I-I’ve been thinking about talking to Paige.” She paused. “A lot actually.” A small smile crept onto her face. “We-we talked. Before my mom came. I meant to tell you but I just-” 

“Hey, it’s ok.” KK placed a comforting hand on the older girl's shoulder. Giving it a tight squeeze before letting go.  

“She-she said she was sorry. For everything.” The smile appeared again as her mind wandered back to their conversation. “And… she still-” Her voice trailed at the end. Her gaze shifting up to meet KK’s. “She still loves me.” She whispered. 

A smile appeared on Kk’s lips now. Although she’d never tell Azzi, she’d been waiting for this moment for months. “I know she does Az.” She said softly. Her smile never left her face. 

“And I-I love her too.” Azzi said, a little louder this time. “I love her so much, and I don’t…I just wanna fix this.” A single tear ran down her cheek. 

“Anyone in their right mind could see how much you love her.” She started. “Have you two talked since then?” 

Azzi shook her head gently. Her eyes trained on the hem of one of her favorite work shirts. “We…we said we would. Soon.” 

She brought her arm up to her face, using the back of her hand to wipe away the remnants of her tear. 

“That sounds like a good idea Az, but remember you can take this as slow as you want too. Only when you're ready.” She offered. 

“I know.” Azzi nodded slightly. “And…I think I’m ready.” Her eyebrows scrunched slightly as she thought. “I-I know I’m ready. I want to. I want to talk to her so bad. But, I’m scared.” She lifted her eyes again but didn’t quite meet KK’s gaze. “What if she doesn’t want the same things I do? What if she doesn’t see me the same? What if she doesn’t forgive me for all the people I’ve-” Her voice choked around the tears that were threatening to spill again. 

‘Gosh, how did I let myself start crying at work?’ She thought. Looking around at her co-workers in their single, or shared, cubicles. Some were talking  while others were hard at work. 

“I’m sure you know this, but you’ll never know until you talk to her.” 

Azzi sighed. “I know.” 

“I know you do.” KK smiled. 

“Thank you. Seriously.” 

“Anytime Az.” She said with a curt nod. “Now let’s finish these reports and reviews so we can hopefully start lunch at a decent time.” KK laughed and Azzi couldn’t help but laugh along. 

XXXXXX

Azzi slumped onto her couch exhausted from another day of work. It’d been three days since her talk with KK and she was starting to feel a little more confident. 

If she was being honest, she didn’t think she’d ever be one hundred percent ready. 

“Alright, you can do this.” She mumbled softly as she looked at Paige's contact staring back at her on the screen. 

Her hands were shaking slightly as she took a deep breath, trying and failing to calm her rushing nerves. 

Before she could stop herself, she pressed the call button and put the phone on speaker. 

Two rings. That was all it took before Paige’s voice filled the quiet of her living room. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi.” She said softly. Not quite sure how to start this conversation. 

“Hey Z, how are you?” 

“Oh…I-I’m ok I guess.” She stammered. “What about you?” 

“I guess ok is a good word for it.”

 Azzi could hear Paige's smile through the phone, but she could tell it didn’t reach her eyes. 

“Paige?” She said gently. 

“Hmmm?” 

“I’m ready. To talk.” Silence fell between the two and Azzi’s heart immediately began to race. ‘Did I say something wrong? Is this not what she wants anymore? Did she change her mind?”  The thoughts raced through her brain as nerves began to swirl in her stomach.  “I-I totally understand if you don’t want too anymore, and I’m really sorry it took me so long to be ready, but I was just…I was really nervous, and I’m still really nervous. I’m really really sorry I wasn’t-” 

“Azzi.” Paige interrupted. It wasn’t harsh. It was the complete opposite. Her voice was completely gentle and understanding. “Breathe please.” A slight chuckle left her lips before she could stop it. She knew Azzi could spiral easily and she didn’t mind being the one to reel her back in. “It’s ok. I promise.” She consoled. “We can do this at your pace. If you think you're ready…then I’d love to talk.” 

Paige had always been the calmer one of the two, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn't nervous. 

“Are you-are you sure?” Azzi asked gently. 

Her shoulders had lost some of their tension, like they always did when Paige consoled her,  and her breathing had slowed, but the thoughts of being turned away were still swirling in the back of my mind. 

“One hundred percent. I want to do this, as long as you do.” 

The last bit of tension fell from the brunette's shoulders as she gently nodded her head. “I do. I really do.” 

“I’m glad.” Paige smiled. 

Silence fell between them again. This one less charged than the last as they each took in what this could mean for them. 

“How about Saturday?” Paige offered. “We could meet at that book store you love.” 

Azzi smiled at the thought. She had spent countless hours dragging Paige to the small secluded books store. Taking her through all the books on her TBR before finally ending up at the small cafe and coffee shop that was attached. But her smile faltered a little as another memory flooded her brain. It was the same book store she’d met Paisley in. The same one they’d been at when Paisley asked about the woman on the other end of the phone. 

She shook her head slightly. Trying her best to clear her thoughts of Paisley. They hadn’t talked much since then. An occasional how are you or how was work here and there, but they hadn’t gone out or called like they used to. Azzi knew she owed her an explanation, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to give one. 

“I-” She took a deep breath. ‘You love that bookstore, don’t let one bad memory ruin this for you.’ She thought. “I would love to.” She smiled.

“Great! Does eleven work for you? I have a client at four but I can see if Nika can-” 

“Eleven is perfect.” Azzi said. 

“Oh…ok, awesome.” A beat passed before Paige finally spoke again. “Well, I guess I’ll see you Saturday?” 

Azzi chuckled. “See you Saturday.” She smiled. 

“Bye Az.” 

“Bye P.” 

[pazziverse535]

Is your fic going to have a happy ending?

Yes! My fics always have happy endings (I couldn't bring myself to write a sad ending 😂🙂)

[pazziverse535]

Hypocrite Chap:2 She Isn't You

A/N:

Hey guys! Thank you so much for all the love and support for this fic! I think this chap is a softer/quiter than the first one, but hopefully you all still enjoy it! I tried my best to edit this (I really hate editing 😭) so sorry for any typos. As always, thank you for reading, and I'd love to hear your thoughts after this chapter! Also this is the last prewritten chapter so my updates may not be too frequent but hopefully they won't take to long!

WC: 4K

CW: Anxiety/panic symptoms (fidgeting and skin picking), mention of casual hookups, some language

‘You can do this. You can do this.  It’s just a phone call. Just one call.’  Paige thought as her phone shook slightly from her trembling hands. 

She’d made plenty of phone calls in her lifetime, so why was this one any different? 

Of course she knew the answer, but she absolutely refused to let the brunette have this kind of control over her. 

“Fuck.” She sighed. Running a single hand down her face. 

Azzi's contact sat open on her screen. Bright and taunting.  The contact still read “my princess 💗”.  She couldn’t bring herself to change it. Mostly because it was true. Azzi was her princess. She always had been, and she always would be. ‘Just push the damn button.’ 

XXXXXX

“Hey Z!” KK called from the fourier. 

She slipped on her shoes and moved to grab her coat. The two friends had spent the night hanging out and watching a movie they had been too lazy to see when it came out in theaters. 

“Yeah?” She yelled from her place in the kitchen. 

“Have you talked to nika lately?” 

Azzi sat the dish towel back on the counter. Moving to join the younger girl at the front of the house. “No…why?” 

Azzi couldn’t remember the last time she’d talked to the brunette. 

They had been friends, sure, but Nika  had always been closer to Paige. Hell, the two had matching tattoos! So after the breakup, Azi’s relationship with the Croatian had naturally drifted a bit. 

“No reason really. I was talking to her the other day and she said something about needing to text you.” She shrugged. 

“Oh, well I haven’t heard from her.” 

Azzi pulled her phone from her back pocket. Scrolling through her most recent messages. Making sure she hadn’t missed it.

“Well, maybe she’ll text soon. I was just wondering.” The younger girl explained. 

Azzi nodded. Slipping the device back into her pocket. “Maybe.” She shrugged. 

“Ok well I’m gonna head out. See you tomorrow?” Kk asked. A singular eyebrow raised with a smile spreading across her face. 

“Of course dummy. I have to work too.” Azzi laughed.

KK laughed along as she moved to pull  the door open. “Yeah yeah, I know.” She laughed again. “Bye Z.” 

“Bye Kk.” 

She closed the door behind her letting out a sigh as silence took over her house once again. 

XXXXXX

She hadn’t accomplished much since Kk left. She’d washed the bowls they used for their popcorn, cleared the coffee table, and taken a shower.

She’d tucked herself into bed, her stack of work papers that needed reviewing left completely untouched. ‘I’ll do them tomorrow.’ She thought. It was the same thing she’d been telling herself for the past three days. 

Her phone brightness was low as she scrolled through her socials. She tried her best to stay off of social media as much as possible, but she’d always told herself it wasn’t awful in small doses. 

She scrolled for a while longer before looking at the clock on her phone. 11:30. She knew it really wasn’t too late, but it was way past her usual ten o’clock bedtime.  

She turned the small device off. Plugging in the charger before setting it on her small oak wood night stand next to her bed. 

XXXXXX

“What the hell?” Azzi mumbled, sleep still laced in her voice. 

She wiped her eyes as she moved to sit up. She reached over to grab her phone that was buzzing on the nightstand. 12:30 AM. She’s only slept an hour. 

She sighed. Taking a second to read the caller ID, and when she did she let out a short gasp. “PAIGEY!!! 💗”. 

Her hand shook slightly as she held the small device. ‘There’s no way this is real. Right ?’  She thought.

If she wasn’t awake before, she certainly was now.  

A million thoughts flooded her brain as she looked at the dimly lit screen. This was definitely real. 

She took a deep breath and accepted the call before she could second guess herself. 

“Paige?” 

“Hey.” Paige mumbled. 

Tears immediately filled Azzi’s eyes. Gosh she hadn’t heard that voice forever, or at least it felt like it. 

“Sorry, I know it’s late. I just I-” 

“It’s ok.” Azzi said. “What’re you-” Her voice trailed. 

“ I-I don’t really know. I just wanted to talk to you. Like really talk to you.” The blonde's voice shook slightly with a mix of hurt and longing. 

“Oh, ok.” Azzi’s gaze fell to the comforter that was covering her lap, not sure what to say next. 

Silence fell between the two. Thoughts running through both of their heads, but neither knew the right way to express them. 

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have called you. I’m just gonna go.” Paige mumbled so quietly the brunette almost had to strain to hear her. 

“Paige wait-” ‘Gosh, why did she sound so desperate?’  “Are you-is everything ok?” 

“Yeah yeah.” The line fell quite again. Paige single handedly picked at the skin around her nails. “I just-” She sighed. She knew the younger girl could probably hear her distress through the phone but she didn’t care. “I’m sorry.” She paused again. “Really, Z I am. For everything.” 

‘Well shit’ This was not at all what Azzi was expecting. Did she know Paige was sorry? Of course she did, The blonde had texted her those two words a thousand times since they’d broken up. But never once had she thought the blonde would call. Never once did she think she’d hear her say it.

Don’t get her wrong, even through all the pain and heart ache Azzi knew she played a part in how painful the breakup had been. And as much as she wanted to, she could never hate Paige for leaving. 

“Look, I know you probably don’t wanna hear me pour my heart out about how sorry I am, but I need you to know that I really am sorry, and that it wasn’t a decision that I made lightly or easily. I never want you to think that I didn’t-” 

“I know you do.” A single tear ran down her cheek as she let the words fall from her mouth. “And I-I do too. I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

 Neither one of them said those three words. They didn’t need to. 

“Why is this so hard?” Paige asked. Her voice was weak, and Azzi could tell she was also crying. 

Paige hadn’t meant to let the words slip. 

“Because we’ve never really known a world where we didn’t have each other.” 

The silence was thick, but the awkwardness that once lingered was gone. Replaced with a new sense of grief and longing. 

“How do we do this? Pretend-” She took a breath. Giving herself some time to regather her thoughts. “How am I supposed to pretend I don’t care? Pretend you’re not-” She sighed. “Nevermind.” She stopped herself before she could say anything incredibly stupid.  “We should probably get some sleep.” 

Azzi blinked. ‘Pretend I’m not what?’ she thought. 

 “Yeah. We probably should.” She played with the hem of her sleep shirt. Allowing herself to become distracted from the conversation. “But, we should talk. Like really talk. Soon.” 

“I’d like that.” 

It almost sounded like the tiniest smile had taken place on the blonde's lips. 

“Me too.” Azzi said. Blush creeping onto her tear stained cheeks. “Goodnight Paige.” 

“Goodnight Z.” 

Azzi sighed as the line went dead. She placed the phone back in its rightful place on her nightstand, staring up at the blank ceiling. 

She definitely wasn’t falling asleep after that. 

She gently ran her hands down her face. Trying to process what the hell just happened. 

XXXXXX

“Woah P! What the hell happened to you?” Nika asked as she looked over a few designs for her first client. 

“Did you sleep? Like…at all?” Ice asked with a chuckle. 

Paige groaned. She hadn’t had time to do much with her hair, thanks to her slow start this morning. Not to mention the very prominent  dark circles that had formed under her eyes. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” She grumbled. “And for the record, I did sleep.” 

It wasn’t a lie. She had slept. It just hadn't been very long, or very restful.

“Everything ok?” Ice asked. 

Paige ran her fingers through her tangled blonde hair. “I don’t know. Yes, no, maybe.” She shrugged. 

“Alright.” Nika placed the black design book back in its place. “We’ve got an hour before the shop opens. Start talking.” She prompted. 

‘Well shit.’ There’s no way out of this now. 

“I called Azzi last night.” 

Her eyes slammed shut as she waited for her friends to respond. 

“You what?!” Ice exclaimed.

“Shit!” Nika replied. 

“Why?” The taller girl questioned. 

“I-it was Nika’s idea!” Paige pleaded. 

Nika gasped,placing a hand on her chest dramatically. “Don’t you dare put all of this on me.” 

Paige’s eyebrows shot up to her hair line. ”You’re the one who said I should call her.”  

“Ok ok ok, maybe I did. But I wasn’t expecting you to do it so soon! I thought you would- I don’t know, think it over first or something.” She said, as her hands flapped through the air dramatically. 

“Wait, so what happened?” Ice asked as she set down some of her tools she’d been messing with. 

“I apologized.” She shrugged. “For everything.” 

Silence filled the space as the friends took in the weight of the situation. 

“And what’d she say?” 

Paige thought back on their conversation. The words that loomed so heavily in the background.

“She didn’t say much. Said we should talk.” She shrugged. Trying and failing to take some of the tension out of her shoulders. 

Nika stood from her spot and made her way towards the blonde. Pulling her into a tight hug. “I know I was teasing you, but I’m proud of you. Seriously, this is a big step.” She said as she took a step out of the blondes space. 

Ice smiled. “Don’t be so hard on yourself P.” 

She sighed. “What if I make it worse?” Her gaze shifted to her hands. Where she’d been subconsciously picking at the skin around her nails. Again.  “What if I hurt her more than I thought I did?” 

“She’s giving you a chance P, and the best thing you can do is listen.” Ice answered. Placing a solid hand on the thinner girl's shoulder. 

“It’s not gonna be easy, and she’s probably gonna say somethings that you don’t wanna hear. But, it’s important that you listen.”  Nika added. 

“And really listen. To everything.” Ice finished. 

XXXXXX

“No way! Az, Come here!” 

Azzi shuffled across the old carpet floor, following the voice towards the back of the small bookstore. 

“ They have it!” Paisley practically squealed.

She was holding a copy of a book that the two had been searching for when they first met. 

“Wow.” Azzi mumbled, reaching to take the book from the blonde's hands. “Is this the only copy?” 

“Nope!” 

Paisley turned and carefully pulled a second book off the shelf. 

“Oh.” 

The brunette gripped the book a little tighter. 

“We could read it together!” She blushed. Her face was radiating with  pure joy. 

“Yeah yeah…of course.” Azzi muttered clearly uninterested in the book and the girl in front of her. 

Don’t get her wrong, she’d been waiting for the day she could finally get her hands on a copy, but something was wrong. This situation was wrong. 

She didn’t want to read the book with Paisley. This book was the same book she’d been begging Paige to read with her for months. She spent hours searching for a copy online and in stores. And now that it was in her hands, the purple cover shining in the light, something was missing. Someone was missing.   

“Az? You ok?” Blonde eyebrows furrowed, trying to dissect why Azzi had been so distant today. 

‘Gosh, could she stop calling me that?’ she thought. 

Azzi wasn’t trying to be rude, but there were very few people in this world that called her by that nickname, and Paisley shouldn’t be one of them. 

“Yeah I’m fine.” She mumbled. 

“Are you sure? You’ve been quiet today.” 

Her brows furrowed even further as she focused her gaze more intently on the curly headed girl. 

“Yeah, just tired is all.” She shrugged. It wasn’t completely a lie. She was tired. Thanks to the three hours of restless sleep she’d gotten the night before. 

“Oh ok, well we can get these and then I can drop you back at your place if you want?” She offered. 

Paisley was sweet. She really was, but she wasn’t Paige. And after last night. That fact was starting to weigh on Azzi even more than before. 

“Yes please.” Azzi nodded, still keeping her grasp on the book firm. 

Once they checked out, Paisley placed their bags in the back and quickly rounded the car to open the door for the brunette. 

Azzi offered a small smile as she slid into the black chevy malibu. It was nice and Azzi knew she had just recently bought it. She looked around at the still unfamiliar car. 

“So, I know we had to cut today a little short, but did you have fun?” The blonde asked as she pushed the start button and the engine roared to life. 

“Yeah, I did. Sorry I wasn't much fun today.” She replied. 

“Don’t worry about it. Rest is important.” She paused, switching on her turn signal to pull out of the small parking lot. “Didn’t sleep well last night?” 

“No, not really.” 

“Any particular reason?” She asked, taking a second to glance at the brunette. 

“Oh, umm…I stayed up a little later than normal and it didn’t help that  I just couldn’t sleep.” Azzi’s gaze shifted out the window as her mind drifted to last night's conversation. 

“I know I already asked but you’re sure everything’s ok?” 

“Yeah.” 

Paisley gave a small smile and placed a hand on Azzi’s knee. 

Azzi’s body tensed. The touch was all wrong, too cold, too heavy, too much like Paisley, and not at all  like Paige. 

Paisley didn’t notice. Her hand stayed in place as she continued to drive with one hand. This was the most contact the two had ever had. 

Azzi took a deep breath before gently shifting her leg. Hopefully sending the message that she was getting uncomfortable. 

“Sorry.” Paisley mumbled. Pulling her hand back as a dark flush crept up her neck. She ran the now empty hand against her pants, not quite sure what to do with it. 

Azzi just smiled, her gaze never once leaving the window. 

Silence filled the car. The only sound being the soft hum of surrounding traffic and the soft music flowing through the speakers. 

“Hey Az?” 

“Hmmm?” 

“Can I ask you something? It’s kind of personal so…" 

Her breath hitched. “Ummm…sure.” She nodded, finally turning her gaze towards the woman next to her. 

Her blonde hair was shining from the sun, and her blue eyes held a shimmer of worry. 

“I know you and your girlfriend just broke up not too long ago.” The air in the car thickened as Azzi waited for the brunette to continue. “Which is why I wanted to wait to ask…I wanna take you out. Somewhere nicer than our normal dates.”

 ‘Dates?’ Azzi hadn’t known this was a date. 

Sure, she knew Paisley liked her, and maybe there was a part of Azzi that was actually starting to like the blonde too, but never once had they talked about a date. She blissfully thought they were just hanging out. 

“Oh-” She started. 

“But, before I can actually ask you out. I need to know…do you-” Azzi's pulse raced in her ears and her hands had become sweaty. “Do you still love her?” 

This time, Azzi gasped. There was no hiding it.

 Love. It was one word, but it was so much more. The only word to describe what she felt for Paige, but also a word that would never be strong enough. A word that lingered and sat untouched for months. 

“Paisley I-” The words died in the back of her throat. If she was being honest, she wasn’t even sure what she was trying to say. 

“It’s ok if you do. We don’t have to change anything unless you want to. I just need to know before I put my all into this.” The car came to a stop at the light. 

‘Could this car ride be any longer?’ 

“I-” She tore her gaze away from the blonde. If she was gonna have this conversation, she couldn’t do it looking at the blonde hair and blue eyes that were just slightly the wrong color. “Yes.” It came out quieter than she had hoped. “I-I do.” 

Paisley didn’t speak, and out of the corner of her eye, Azzi could see the blonde's grip tighten around the black steering wheel. 

Paisley visibly swallowed before giving a small nod. “Has there been anyone else? Since you two-” 

There was a pause before Azzi finally spoke.  “Yes,” She closed her eyes. Thinking of all the women she’d kissed, slept with, and flirted with since the breakup. Each one of them failed to fill the void that Paige had left. Avoid that only Paige was meant to fill.  “But nothing serious. Just some hookups, kisses, and a couple first dates here and there.” Her voice remained quiet as her hand found the hem of her shirt and began to fidget it with it. A nervous habit she’d had since she was young. One Paige had always picked up on, and stopped by wrapping Azzi’s hand in hers.

Paisley took her foot off the break, allowing them to continue their path down the winding road towards Azzi’s house. “What was her name? You’re girlfriend I mean.” 

“Paige.” 

“That’s-that’s a beautiful name.” 

Azzi smiled. A smile that only came with the mention of the blonde. 

“Yeah, yeah it is.” 

A silence fell over them once again. Still charged, and a little heavy. Neither one of them spoke the rest of the ride. Letting the noise of the city and the radio fill the space. 

XXXXXX

“So…how’d it go with Paisley?” 

“Mom,” She sighed. 

“What? I can’t know how my daughter's date went?” The older woman teased through the phone. 

“It wasn’t a date.” She rolled her eyes, knowing her mom couldn’t see her. 

She hadn’t done much since Paisley had brought her home. She’d finally  finished her reports for work, watched a couple episodes of The Agency, and warmed-up some left overs before finally taking a shower and settling in for the night. 

“Sure honey,” 

Azzi shifted slightly, the covers ruffling around her. She knew her mom meant well, but she really didn’t feel like having this conversation right now. 

The silence sat a beat too long, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Katie. “What’s wrong honey? Did something happen?”

 Katie knew her daughter better than anyone, and she could most certainly tell something was off. 

“She-she asked about her.” Azzi said. Looking down at the dark grey comforter she had taken from her shared bedroom with Paige. It had been the first thing they bought for their house. Paige claimed it complemented the wall color, but Azzi knew she’d bought it because the brunette loved the material.  “She asked if I still love her.” She mumbled. 

“Oh honey-” 

“It’s ok. She had every right to ask.” 

“That doesn’t make it any less hard.” Katie reasoned. 

Azzi sighed. “No, but I can’t blame her for it. I’m sure I’d want to know too.” 

“Did you tell her the truth?” 

Katie didn’t need to ask for Azzi’s answer.  She knew her daughter loved the blonde more than anything in the world. And the breakup was affecting her more than she was letting on. 

“I did.” She answered. “It wasn’t easy though.” 

“It’s not supposed to be.” 

Azzi sighed, running her hands down her face. “Why can’t this just be easy mom?” Tears flooded her eyes, and her voice wavered with emotion. 

“Because you love her. And Paisley, as great she may be, isn’t her. And she never will be.” 

“I don’t wanna replace her. I just want it to stop hurting.” She explained. “I just wanna stop seeing her in every blonde woman I see, I wanna stop going to the grocery store and looking for her favorite chips, I wanna stop rolling over and wishing she was there, I just-I just wanna stop hurting.” 

The tears flowed freely now but she didn’t move to wipe them. 

“Honey, listen to me-” Katie paused, giving her daughter time to get reoriented. “This is a big change for both of you. You have to give yourself time to heal. I know it’s painful, and I never want to see you hurting, but you can’t rush these things.” 

“But how can she just be so…so normal? Like nothing’s changed.”

Azzi knew she wasn’t being fair. She hadn’t heard much about Paige’s life after the breakup, aside from what she saw on instagram and what she had heard from KK, but she knew the blonde wasn’t doing well. 

“Azzi, honey, you know Paige and you also know that you can’t judge people's lives based on what they choose to post on social media.” She paused for a second. “If you truly believe she’s doing ok then I’ll let you believe that, but something tells me that’s not how you really feel.” 

Her mom was right, that's not how she felt. She knew Paige was hurting. Drowning even. Probably just as much as she was. “But if she was hurting just as much as I am, why wouldn’t she just fix it?” she cried. 

“I don’t know honey, but you and I both know she’d never hurt you on purpose.” 

And she did. She did know that, but all logic was out the window. “It doesn’t feel that way.” 

“I know it doesn’t.” 

“I just want her back.” It came out as more of a whisper, as her voice cracked around the tears that were still rolling down her cheeks. 

“I know you do sweetie. I know.” 

Katie did her best to console her through the phone, but she knew what her daughter really needed was a hug. She’d have to come visit soon. She hadn’t even seen Azzi’s new house yet. 

“Mom?” 

“Yes sweetie?” 

“What do I do?” She asked. “About Paisley.” 

Finally, she reached up to dry her tears. Her sleep shirt now stained the ones that had managed to fall. 

“Well, do you like her?” 

Azzi shrugged. “I-I guess so. She’s sweet, and she’s kind, and she loves to read, but she’s not-” 

“She’s not Paige.” 

“No.” Her hands found the hem of her shirt under the covers as she started to roll the fabric back and forth. “And she’s not supposed to be. She’s supposed to be Paisley. But, it’s just-it’s not enough.” 

“So you break up with her.” Katie prompted. 

“How do I break up with her if we never started dating?” 

Katie chuckled. “Ok, maybe breakup wasn’t the right term. This doesn’t mean you two can’t hangout and it certainly doesn’t mean you have to stop being friends. It just means she isn’t the right person.” 

“No one else ever will be.” Azzi mumbled. 

She hadn’t meant to say it out loud. 

“Then I think you know what you need to do.” Katie prompted.  Azzi smiled on the other end of the phone. Grateful that her mom somehow always found a way to make any situation better. “Get some rest honey. I’ll call you tomorrow.” 

“Ok, Thank you mom. Really, it means a lot.” 

“Anytime sweetheart.” She smiled. “I love you.” 

“I love you too. “ 

When the line finally went dead, Azzi let out a sigh, placing the phone in its place on her nightstand before turning out the light. 

She wasn’t sure when, but eventually sleep had pulled her under and wrapped her in a sense of comfort. Quieting the rapid sounds of her brain, and soothing the aching of her heart.

[pazziverse535]

Hypocrite update!!

first off thank you all so much for all the likes. I ended up rewriting part of chapter two, but I'm finishing up writing and all that's left to do is edit. So hopefully I will have it posted on Thursday or Friday!

[whitechocolateee535]

Her damn jawline it's gonna kill me.

[pazziverse535]

amazing chapter!! when’s the next one coming out??

Thank you!! I'm not sure as of right now (hopefully sometime this week). I already have it written. I'm just in the process of editing it!!

[pazziverse535]

Hypocrite Chap:1

More Than What Meets The Eye

AN:

Hey guys! Not sure if anyone has read this one before on A03, but I wanted to say that I'm so excited to start sharing my stories with you on here! My goal is to update this story whenever I can while also adding chapter to new stories as well, so I can't promise fast or regular updates!!

Comments, and suggestions keep me motivated to write (especially since I tend to doubt my writing abilities 😔) So please please please, interact if you can! Any way heres the first chapter!

WC: 2.1K

CWBreakup/heartbreak, emotional distress, social media stalking, references to hookups/casual dating, strong language

       11:30 AM

       Paisley: I wanna c u tdy 😏

       Azzi: Yeah?

        What’d you have in mind? 

       A small smirk appeared on the brunette's face as her fingers flew rapidly across the screen. 

       Paisley: umm 

       Imma be honest idk…

        Azzi: Well, Ig you better figure it out then 🤭

      “Whose that?” KK asked as she returned to her desk with a small bag of lays chips in hand. 

       “No one.” The brunette defended as she silenced her phone and placed it face down on the cold white desk. 

       “Doesn’t sound like no one?” 

       Azzi sighed. “Fine, it’s just this girl.” She mumbled. 

       “Just a girl?” 

       Kk popped a chip in her mouth. Wiping her now greasy fingers on her pants. 

       “Yes Kk. Just a girl” Azzi rolled her eyes. 

       “Is it an important girl?” She pried. 

       “Kk!” 

       “What! I just wanna know who she is.” The younger girl shrugged, popping another chip in her mouth. 

       “Why?” She really had no reason to ask. She knew why. Kk had always been one to dig into things like this. Never in an invasive way. More like a  protective friend way. “Fine. If you really must know, her names Paisley.” 

       “Paisley? That’s a new one. It also sounds strangely similar to-” 

       “Stop!” Azzi warned with a pointed look on her face. 

       Kk wasn’t stupid. She knew better than to go there. But, she liked to push her luck every now and then. 

       “Ok ok ok. I’m done. But seriously, don’t you think this is a bit much?” 

       Azzi’ gaze dropped to her lap. She picked at the skin around her nails, or what was left of it. It was a habit she’d had since before she could remember. One she’d tried countless times to stop, but now she found herself doing it more than ever before.  

       “I-” She started. 

       “Look, how about we talk about this after work?” The younger girl offered. She knew this wasn’t the time, or the place, to have this conversation. 

       Silence filled the space for a beat as Azzi gave herself some time to think. “Yeah, yeah sure.” 

XXXXXX

       6:30 PM

       Paisley: Dinner at your place? I’ll bring takeout?

       Azzi: I see you finally found something 

       Paisley: yk I would

       Azzi: Wow, someone's confident? 

       Paisley: Always :) 

       Have you left the office yet? 

       Azzi: Not yet 

       KK’s gonna give me a ride home

       Text you when I leave? 

       Paisley: J lmk!

       “Yeah. Of course. I’ll leave the report on your desk on my way out.” KK said into the phone. “Yup, no problem. See you tomorrow.” 

       “Jenna?” Azzi asked. 

       “Yeah, she forgot to print off some stuff so I told her I’d finish it up for her.” KK stapled the stack of paper before slipping it into a new manila folder. “Are you ready to roll?” 

       “Yeah.” Azzi grabbed her bag, phone, water bottle, and keys and followed the younger girl towards the exit. 

XXXXXX

       “Relax” 

       “I’m fine.” 

       “Your tense.” Nika corrected. “And don’t even try to tell me you aren’t. I can see it in your shoulders.” 

       “It’s-it’s not that big of a deal.” She argued. 

       “Then why are you letting it get to you?”

       Nika knew the blonde better than anyone. They’d been friends for years. 

       “Cause, she’s going out with a new girl every two seconds. Posting about it cause she knows I’ll see it, and then acting like it’s not a big deal.” 

        “Why do you care?” 

        “Nika-” 

       “No Paige, seriously. Why do you care? You broke up with her. She’s a grown woman. She has every right to see and be with whoever she wants to. You made that choice.” 

       Paige sighed. “I know.” 

       The blonde's shoulders deflated. She knew her friend was right. She shouldn’t care. But she did. More than she should.  

       “Then don’t let these things get to you.” Nika let out a soft breath and moved closer to her best friend. “If she wants to be a player and talk to fifty girls in a week, let her. You can’t control her P, and you shouldn’t have too. What she does is up to her. I know it’s not easy, and I know you still love her. I’m not saying you have to stop, but you can’t let her actions stress you out like this.” 

       “I know. Thanks.” She mumbled. 

       Nika gave a tight lipped smile and she moved to stand from her rolling chair. 

       The tattoo shop had stayed open later tonight due to a special they’d been holding for the past few days. The other artists had left, and the two friends stayed behind to finish closing up. 

       “Wanna grab some food?” 

       “Nah, I'm pretty tired. I think I’m just gonna head home.” 

       “Alright, make sure you eat. And don’t stay up too late.” Nika said with a pointed look on her face.

       Paige just offered a nod as she grabbed her stuff for the night. 

XXXXXX

       “Hey!” 

       “Hey! Come in, please.” Azzi said with a soft smile as she opened the door.

       “So, how was work?” Paisley’s bright voice filled the room. 

       “Uhh, it was pretty good. Not too much going on. Just a lot of phone calls, reports, and filing. All the boring stuff.”  Azzi answered as she cleared a space on the counter for the blonde to place the food. 

       “So, I brought some Italian. I wasn’t too sure what you wanted so I went with a safe option and chose spaghetti.” 

       She pulled the containers out and placed them in the space that Azzi had cleared. 

       “Spaghetti’s fine. Thanks.” Azzi offered a sweet, but small, smile. 

       “You’ve got a really nice place.” 

       “Oh, thank you. It’s small, but just what I need.” Azzi replied, as her gaze trailed around her townhouse. 

       The two had hung out before, but never at each other's house. 

       They met about 2 weeks ago at one of Azzi’s favorite small book stores. They spent the rest of the day sitting and browsing through endless rows of books. It was good to meet another reader. She finally had someone to rant to about plot and structure. 

       “How long’ve you been here?” 

       “Umm…not too long. Right at 3 months.” 

       “Oh so this new thing?” 

       “Yeah. I just needed a change I guess.” She shrugged as she picked up her food and moved to the table. 

       “Change is good.” The blonde smiled. 

       “I guess so.” She shrugged as she twirled some spaghetti onto her fork. 

       The silence that followed was deafening. Paisley was trying her best to stay calm, but the awkwardness was making it almost impossible. “So, are you liking it so far? Dallas I mean.” 

       “Uh, yeah. I mean, I’ve lived in Dallas for years, I just moved houses, that's all.” Azzi shrugged. Clearly giving as little detail as possible. 

       “Got you. What prompted the move? If you’re ok with me asking.”

       Azzi’s shoulders tensed. “Oh, me and my girlfriend, well ex girlfriend, broke up.” 

       Azzi could see the look of pity that took over the blonde's face. The last thing she wanted was to be pitted, but she knew it was only natural. 

       “I’m really sorry.” The blonde's eyebrows furrowed as she reached out to place her hand on Azzi’s thigh. 

       “It’s fine.” 

       It was anything but fine. But Azzi couldn’t let her know that. 

       “Can I…Can I ask how long?” 

       Azzi paused. “twelve  years. We started dating when I was thirteen and she was fourteen.” She said. A bittersweet smile appeared on her lips as the thoughts of the only woman she’d ever loved rushed into her brain. 

       “Oh wow.” 

       “Yeah.” 

       “That’s-that’s a long time.” 

       “Yeah, Yeah it is.” 

XXXXXX

       “Put the phone down.” 

       “But-” 

       “I don’t care Paige.” Nika interrupted as she pulled the device in question from the younger girl's hand. “I know what you were doing and you need to stop.” She said with a pointed look.

       Paige sighed. She hated that she knew her so well. It made it impossible to do anything without her noticing. 

       “Talk to me P. You know we talk about these things.” 

       She sank into the space next to Paige on the couch. 

       “There’s nothing to talk about.” 

       She was trying her best to avoid the subject. She always did. Because maybe, just maybe, if she could avoid it, it would hurt just a little less. 

       “Well clearly there is since you're stalking her instagram. Again.” 

       The blonde sighed again. Nika was right, there was something to talk about. Too much to talk about. 

       “I just, I don’t understand.” The brunette didn’t speak. She just waited for the blonde to continue. “I don’t get how she can just move on. How she can go out with a new woman every five seconds and post it on her story like everything is fine. Like we meant nothing.” She paused. “I loved her Nika. I still love her. Hell I love her more than anything else in this world, and I’d give anything to have her back, but it’s like she doesn’t care.” 

       “She cares P.” 

       Paige scoffed. “It doesn’t seem like it.” She quipped as she thought about Azzi’s most recent post. It was a video of her and a group of women Paige had never seen before dancing at the club with a small caption saying I flashbacks from this weekend. 

       “She does P.” Nika sighed as she gently rubbed her forehead clearly having an eternal debate. “Look, I know it may not seem like it but she’s hurting. A lot P.” When the blonde didn’t answer she decided to continue. “Look, I’ve been talking to Kk.” 

       “So?” 

       Paige wasn’t sure why it was a big deal. She knew the two were friends, she was friends with Kk. 

       “I’ve been talking to her about Azzi.” She sighed. “I know I shouldn’t have, but said she was worried about her and I didn’t know what else to do.” 

      “Worried about her?” 

       That got the blondes attention. 

      “Yes P. You know Azzi better than anyone. You know all this partying and hooking up isn’t like her. I know you're using it to tell yourself she’s ok. To make her the bad guy, but she’s not. She’s hurt. ” 

       Paige could tell there was something else she needed to say. Something she wasn’t telling her. 

       “I know you know about the dates and the sleeping around, but it’s been happening a lot more than you know. KK said  she’s got a new girl every week, sometimes multiple at a time. But they all have one thing in common. They all look like you. Blonde hair, blue eyes, tall. “ Nika sighed. “Look, the point is she’s not moving on, she’s trying to fill the void that you left.” Nika could see the confusion on her best friend's face. “I know it’s a lot, but I need you to know she’s not as ok as she’s making it seem.” 

       “So what? That’s supposed to make me feel better. That she’s hooking up with people and being a player.” She rolled her eyes. 

       “No, it’s supposed to make you see that you can’t believe everything you see on social media. She shows you what she wants you to see, but you know the real her. You’re just choosing to look past it.” 

       “I-I don’t know Nika.” 

       “And that’s ok. I can’t force you to do anything, but she needs you P. Now more than ever.” 

Paige scoffed. “She didn’t fight very hard to stay.” She said as she crossed her arms tightly against her chest. 

       “Did you ever ask her why?” 

       “She never gave me the chance too. When I broke up with her, she walked out. Simple as that.”

       Paige knew it was that simple, but she didn’t feel like reliving the pain of watching her leave.

       “Well, maybe you should.” Nika prompted. Causing Paige to roll her eyes once again. “I know you’re trying to hold a grudge because you think she’s moving on, but I think it could help. Both of you.” 

       “How? So she can tell me all about all the girls she’s been fucking, and how she was waiting for me to breakup with her because she wasn’t brave enough to do it herself.” 

       “Look, do what you want. I’m just telling you what I know.” Nika stood  from the couch. Handing the blonde her phone back.  “Call her. Or don’t. That’s up to you.” 

       The brunette left without another word. Leaving Paige in a complete and suffocating silence.

[pazziverse535]

Self Intro!!!

Hey Guys!! I want to start by saying I'm not new to tumblr, I have my own personal account, but I've decided to start posting some of my fics on here! I also post on A03 (User:Pazzi535) some of my fics already up on there! Also I will admit I'm not the best writer in my opinion, but hopefully this will help build my skills!

Disclamer: I write for FUN and upload different chapters to different stories as I finish them. I try to write a little everyday so I don't burn myself out :). I don't have a set upload schedule as of right now, but maybe we'll get there in the future ;).