this isn't you..

indie semi selective barbara holland

[pcclstuck]

indie barb holland from stranger things. written by zep/shay, she/they, 28, EST. canon divergent and willing to write in any fandom. private and selective. must be 18+ to follow. do not follow if not comfortable to mature themes as well. please read rules before following.

carrd ! headcanons ! memes !

[pcclstuck]

hey guys, i want to make a very personal post on why i've been gone.

in febuary, my mom had a massive stroke. this made her ineligible for a liver transplant. which means, that slowly, over a few weeks, she got to the point where she had to come home on hospice. within three days of coming home, she passed away peacefully. but this has thrown me into a whirlwind. my dad passed three years ago and neither of my parents had wills. which means i wasn't left anything directly. i was also my moms caregiver full time for two years. so i didnt have a job when my mom passed, and the mobile home we've lived in that was in my dads name (now in his estate) is falling down around me. i'm barely getting by with my grief, and also with financial problems, and getting a job fast enough. then ill have to find somewhere to move, rehome some of the cats that my parents had (which is horribly hard for me, i love all of them) and try to start a life now that i have no one else to take care of.

i'm going to try to be on sometimes, but please just be patient with me, thank you all.

[pcclstuck]

it's freezing here but i'm back to try to do a little writing, sorry if i'm slow with responses. i've just been seeing some things that make me a lil -- eh lately. but, also you can find me over on @carriyon and @shxyme if you wanna plot with my dumb lil oc OR a whole mutli of dumb lil oc's and canon muses

[pcclstuck]

is it just me? or has the rpc on tumblr seemed really eh lately? i love all my followers here but i think im gonna take a little break

[hargrove]

✘♚✘ Hearing Nancy and Steve's names come up only made Billy roll his eyes heavily. Steve had been his instant rival since he arrived in Hawkins, for a myriad of reasons. Taking down top dog would secure his own place at the top of the food chain, sparing him from being the lame "new kid". Deeper than that, though, Billy was secretly afraid of the way the other had caught his attention so quickly. There as an attraction there that he didn't understand and was too scared to try. Bullying Steve seemed easier. Of course, all of that was before he'd completely lost control that night in the Byers house and nearly killed the guy. It was a night he hadn't spoken about to anyone, and since then, he'd pretty much kept his distance from Steve.

"Why are you so reliant on those, assholes?" he asked Barb as she slid into a seated position. "Look, I don't know Nancy very well, but she clearly doesn't give a shit about you. You are someone's favorite girl. Mine. You're a badass and don't take shit from anyone, so stop taking it from them. And you're not walking anywhere, so don't try."

When his little lecture was over, she requested water. Blue watched her a moment longer before he nodded. It was her last comment that made him smirk, exhaling a small chuckle. "Drinking too much is how you're supposed to party. You're already a step ahead." He winked, then added, "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."

It didn't take long for Billy to return with another red Solo cup, this one filled only with water from the tap. He knelt beside the redhead, offering it to her. "You think you can stand?"

[pcclstuck]

Even if Barb could explain exactly why she's so "reliant" on Nancy, she doesn't think Billy would truly understand. Had he even been kind of in love with a friend? Had he ever also realized that it would never happen but the soft spot remained longer than Barb would have liked? But mostly, she decided to just listen to him talk. She was partially afraid if she spoke too much, she'd speak that awful juice right back up her throat and all over the two of them. God, that wouldn't make her Billy's " favorite girl " anymore. She was sure of it. So she nodded along, as if she would take this to heart really -- as if maybe tomorrow she would just ignore Nancy's call to apologize. But, she knew she wouldn't. A soft chuckle comes out at his words. " dont go anywhere " now where would Barb be going on wobbly knees and swirling vision. Maybe she could crawl to the garbage, but that was about all. He looked like almost a blessing when he returned, with water. Oh, what a good friend water could be when you're drunk. Taking the cup from him, she downed half of it. And found that her vision wasn't nearly as bad. Things weren't swirling in different directions anymore. " I don't think I want to be a step ahead. If there's a gold medal, I don't want it. Ever."

But her hand reaches out for his, and she nods. " I think I can stand if you just stand there in case I start to fall. People would be talking about that all summer. Oh, look at Barb, she gets wasted once and wipes out. " There's a funny little lisp that she uses when she imitates the girls of Hawkins High. And she's frankly happy to not have to see some of them again when she comes back to school in the fall. Good riddance. But she will miss -- Billy..interesting. She hadn't even realized until that moment that she wouldn't see him sauntering down the hall ways anymore.

[pcclstuck]

i don't know if i've said this before on THIS blog, but if you're going to take the effort to softblock me, then please just hard block me. that will save both of us time and energy. i will not be upset. just hard block me so i dont assume tumblr weirdly unfollowed people as if has before. Just. Hard block. Me

[pcclstuck]

let me assign you a quarry tarot card.

— the world.

“ah, the world... often travelers' paths are direct. but sometimes, it is not so simple. sometimes they're intertwined with others. compassion over anger. you'll need friends where you're going. It is not until we fall into the belly of the beast that we realize how perilous things can be.” found in chapter 7, it shows ryan and laura fall down a hole. this premonition is unavoidable. maybe you set out to play this game alone, but you played it well. you extended olive branches instead of brandishing knives. you made peace where you could have sought revenge. you love and you are loved. we will escape this and watch the sun rise together. there will be no lone survivor tonight. i love you.

tagged by: @cheerlcd

tagging: @hargrove @freaksandfangs @swtzrlnd

[pcclstuck]

last out of character post before i do some replies, but i decided to move my twilght muses into the literary section of muses. so i have two spaces for film/tv muses. anyone here have a specific character they'e dying to write with? drop them below and ill pick two!

[pcclstuck]

☆ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs - it's time to spread positivity ! ☆

hello just so u know, ur the absolute love of my life and one of my best friends and so therefore, i had to absolutely tear up a bit when i got this from you <3

[pcclstuck]

hey so i got my hand on the documents she filed, and im way less worried. i think my attorney will make ease of this case. they have the case written against my name THEN ' aka ' and my mothers name. me and my mother are not the same person. they couldn't even get THAT right.

in other news, tomorrow i'll be doing some writing on barb, and my other muses. also, look forward to zep's lovely multimuse...of 45 muses. i know. i know. but just -- let me dream. i love all of them.

[pcclstuck]

Little update about my activity for the new few weeks below:

so if im missing here for a bit, or low activity, plot twist: im being taken to court over land that is VERY clearly in my fathers estate. and was very clearly being turned over to me and my half sister. but a senile 84 year old woman decided it's somehow hers now, and im having to deal with working with my attorney to prepare all of our papers to go to court. was not on my 2026 bingo. it is clearly listed under my deceased dads NAME at the COURTHOUSE but this woman think it's hers. the court documents her lawyer filed even spelled my name wrong, and have me and my mother as the same person. im truly Done with this.

[pcclstuck]

☆ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs - it's time to spread positivity ! ☆

i am, in fact ugly crying like daryl. you guys have me feeling so special

[pcclstuck]

☆ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs - it's time to spread positivity ! ☆

I cant believe YALL keep sending these in! I love everyone so much, and thank you so much!

[balltruster]

bad things happen to the people that mean the most to us. you ever wonder why that is?

indie selective peter rumancek from hemlock grove with multiple verses. written by zep, 28/cst/she/they

[pcclstuck]

☆ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs - it's time to spread positivity ! ☆

me right now because i can't believe i'm one of your favorite blogs! AHHH

[pcclstuck]

☆ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs - it's time to spread positivity ! ☆

ME??? I didn't think I was good enough to be anyones favorite. thank you so much for this!

[pcclstuck]

@sinfullyflawed asked: " i thought I told you to stay back." // Jim Hopper

when had she ever listened. sure, she had been TERRIFIED in the beginning, after nancy finally rescued her and she was hailed as having finally come home. after hop formulated a plan on how o trick her parents and the rest of hawkins into thinking she had gotten go lost in the woods that she'd ended up states away. or some bullshit. at least everyone had just bought that. and she couldn't thank hopper enough. but right now, was not the time to stay back. to be scared. she had to help save everyone. it all had to MEAN something.

" hopper, i couldn't just stay back. i know, most of the time we don't go on crawls, but this time -- i had to come. i had to help. "