*.˙ ˖ ⋆ hold my hand * )

Lonely float got in the way. You are the feel, and knew it anyway. Take a chance, it wasn't what you know. Take my hand and don't let go.

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brendan & james.

James just stared at him in disbelief as if he refused to believe that Brendan would actually up and leave. It’s upsetting, considering he now thinks they’re finally on good terms. This isn’t what he wants and he’s a little more prone to selfishness because he realized once more than he deserved good things and Brendan was a pretty amazing guy. Surrounding himself with good people, he always said. Brendan had been his person once. He hadn’t forgotten that no matter how many times he laid him off. “Then take up a martial arts class, Brendan! Damn it.” Mystic falls had issues and maybe a part of him knew this wasn’t a good environment to be in but he blames himself. “Is this about what happened before? About you saying someone attacked you?” Brendan was the brave one out of the two of them but James looked at this as if Brendan was running away from the problem instead of confronting it, which James was all about really with his job. “Did your memory clear up on your attacker because I’ll make them pay. I meant what I said.” 

     brendan was  surprised  by his ex’s comment, but only because this was the  most  passion he had received from the other in awhile. after having experienced a lot of ignoring and pushing away, this side he was seeing of james made his heart  hurt . and he was nearly convinced in staying, but remembered that james didn’t  want  to be with him. time and time again, he had made that  so  very clear. “ it wasn’t a  someone , ” he began, sighing heavily as he leaned against james’ desk. “ it was a  vampire . and yes, it’s about that. what if something happens to my kid ? i couldn’t fucking help myself, so how the hell am i supposed to  protect  another human being ? with martial arts ?  boxing ?  you think i’d even  survive  that ? ” he asked, feeling angry that this  entire  conversation was being had. he didn’t want to leave the love of his life behind, but from the looks of it that was probably the  smartest  idea. “ god, you probably think i’m  insane , ” he looked away from james, embarrassed by showing his raw emotions. 

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brendan & aria.

“Oh that’s totally understandable. A healthy baby is all anyone ever wants, right?” Aria grinned, playing the part of the caring company just swell. “My daughter is a year and a half, she’s teething too and her bite is killer.” She chuckled, creating her story as she went. “A shame. But, didn’t hurt to ask, right?” 

     “ right, ” he nodded, pushing the picture into his coat pocket along with his hands. “ teething. yeah, i heard that’s  really  difficult to help with. they cry a lot. ” brendan cleared his throat, wishing he  didn’t  have to turn the beautiful woman away; however, it just wouldn’t feel  right  otherwise. and something in the pit of his stomach felt a bit off. “ normally, i would say  yes . i just can’t right now. ”

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brendan & levi.

   Being extremely open with his bisexuality, he nodded, “Can’t say you’re wrong about that.” Levi shrugged, before saying, “It ain’t weird at all. He’s a little over a month old. All you have to do is make sure they’re changed, fed, and have a lot of caffeine for yourself on hand.”

     brendan could see it. the man was  attractive  and he certainly didn’t make that a secret. “ only a month ? you make it seem like you’ve been doing this for  awhile  now. ”

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brendan & james.

“What? Why?” James’ eyes widen in confusion despite deep down, he probably knew why. Maybe it was totally selfish to want Brendan to stick around but then again, it made sense in a way. The idea of Brendan or the baby getting hurt definitely didn’t sit well with him but couldn’t he find a way to ensure his safety. James was safe. Nothing in Mystic Falls had shaken him so much that he felt the need to leave. “I mean, I suppose a couple of weeks couldn’t hurt if you need a break.” His voice obviously alluding to the fact he couldn’t stand the idea of him leaving forever. 

     if brendan lifted his hand to touch his neck, he could  still  feel the subtle bite marks where the vampire’s fangs had  pierced  his skin. they were almost healed, but he’d  always  have the scar. “ i meant leave... as in, leave mystic falls for  good . ” brendan felt  sick  to his stomach saying those words because it meant he was going to leave james behind. he wanted  nothing  more than to ask him to go with him, to leave and never look back at the town they currently resided in. they could start over, make a  life  together, but brendan didn’t ask because being turned down over that would’ve completely  broken  him. “ i can’t protect myself here. when the baby comes, how am i supposed to protect it if i  can’t  even protect myself ? ”

[theojamesgifz]

[dailytheodorejames]

Theo James attends ‘Allegiant’ New York premiere at AMC Loews Lincoln Square 13 theater on March 14, 2016 in New York City

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brendan & levi.

   “Definitely the hair. Why do you think I use so much product?” he admitted with a joking chortle, before nodding, “Yeah, think I’m gonna spend the day with my son.”

     “ probably to attract  all  of the sexes, ” he shrugged, laughing along with the other male. “ how old is your son ? ” brendan asked, hoping it wasn’t  too  weird. “ i have a little one coming on the way. if we’re being honest, i’m a  bit  out of my depths. ”

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brendan & aria.

“No problem. Boy or girl? Or is it gonna be a surprise?” Aria was happily playing the part of the interested party., Kind of ironic really because in her ‘right’ mind she would actually, be interested. Not many new but even as a vampire she adored babies and children. “So cute.” Exaggerating the word, she held the picture with one hand and used the other to reach out and grip his arm, giving it a supportive squeeze. “So, does that mean you’re… off the market, so to speak?” Batting her lashes, she let a small smirk crawl into her sweet smile.

     “ uh, it’s  too  early to tell. we definitely want to know though. i’m just praying it stays  healthy , ” he chuckled lightly, feeling as though he  already  sounded like a father. brendan could  only  hope for a healthy chid without any complications. everyday he found himself  worried  over every little thing while the mother of his child was the one trying to calm  him  down. she was a saint. “ off the market ? ” he smiled and then thought of james. even if they weren’t together, brendan couldn’t see himself being with  anyone  else anymore. “ yes, i am. my apologies. ”

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brendan & shiloh.

Biting into the cone, her eyes were fixed on Bandit who was sitting directly in front of her, giving her those puppy dog eyes. She had taken him with her, only texting her brother that since they weren’t on the best terms now, which made her go fishing for excuses for them to interact. “Fine.” She sighed, giving in and tossing the cone in the air which Bandit was quick to snatch in his mouth. Looking over at the person off to the side of the bench she raised a brow. “Want to pet him?” She asked, only to throw the ball that she had set down beside herself right at them causing Bandit to run over to them. Probably wasn’t the best idea or nicest move but she didn’t really think about it.

     “ of course, i  love  dogs, ” he smiled, reaching down to scratch behind the dogs ears. brendan chuckled when shiloh threw the ball, using his  fast  reflexes to snatch the ball mid-air. he tossed it out towards the field in front of them, watching as the dog ran to fetch it. “ long time no see, shiloh. how’ve you been ? ” brendan asked as if it were the most  casual  thing in the world. which it was, but no one was  ever  okay. he just wasn’t willing to admit that as of yet - especially with what had  happened  to him.

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     “ i think i need to get  out  of mystic falls, ” he explained, unable to look at james  directly  in the eyes. he had been sitting on the idea for  awhile  now - the only thing keeping him from leaving was james. or rather,  had  been. but james had his own issues to deal with and brendan didn’t want to layer his own on top. with a baby on the way and the horrific event that had happened to him a few weeks back, he felt  unsafe . / @wolfimpulse

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brendan & levi.

“Guess I’m thirty-five now. Gotta say, I didn’t think I’d still look this damn good,” he announced out loud to no one in particular.

     “ it’s the  hair , ” brendan refrained from chuckling. although, it was an  obvious  compliment to his feature. “ thirty-five, huh ? any plans ? ”

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brendan & mila.

“I could repeat myself but I think you heard me just fine.” Maybe here, in a bookstore, wasn’t the best place to be talking about it but at least nobody was around. “Excuse me? Do I look like I’m joking? I’m not mocking you, I’m entirely serious.” Mila frowned. How could he still not believe her? “If you’d rather fend for yourself that’s fine but I just thought you might have questions I could answer for you.” 

     brendan had  never  believed in mila’s abilities. even while they were dating, he told himself to keep an  open  mind and be the supportive boyfriend, but he was a man of science and logic and  nothing  she proclaimed to do was a part of that world for him. until  now . and brendan  hated  being wrong. “ fine, ” he bit his tongue, trying to keep his panic at bay. “ tell me what you know. ”

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brendan & imogen.

Immy looked quizzical as she listened. She always did assess a situation before speaking up. “Babies are messy and loud,” she voiced honestly. “But you look happy about it.”

     “ oh, i have  no  doubt they are, ” he chuckled, not exactly looking forward to  that  part; but what human would ? babies took over lives and brendan was  trying  to prepare for that change in his own. “ i am happy. are babies not your thing ? ”

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brendan & aria.

“Cute.” Aria turned to face him. Her eyes turned to the fading marks on his neck and she offered him a polite smile. Internally though, she was laughing, knowing he didn’t remember that it was her who attacked him. Maybe they could go for round two? “May I see?”

     “ thank you, ” he nodded  proudly , still in shock from having seen his child for the first time. he had  no  clue the woman in front of him had attacked him that night, leaving him to fend for himself afterwards. “ yeah, sure, ” he held out the small piece of paper for her to see, believing she  actually  cared about it.

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brendan & james.

James has seen plenty of sonogram pictures but none had mattered to him more than the fact he was staring at Brendan’s child for the first time. He can’t really wipe the smile off his face if he tried and as he looks back at him, he doesn’t divert his focus like he used to when they had their problems. Problems they still had but James had put aside for now. “You know I’m proud of you, right?” He confesses just to be truthful. “This is gotta be a stressful time for you. “I know this wasn’t planned or anything but you know the saying of the universe working in funny ways or whatever. That kid is going to be so lucky to have you. I’m really proud of you.” James moved a hand to tap his arm. 

     brendan had been a  bit  afraid to let james in on  too  much detail. the former couple hadn’t discussed much since that kiss upon the rooftop. he had laid his emotions out there for the other male, practically  professing  his love to him every chance he had gotten. but it hadn’t been reciprocated which is why brendan had stopped. if being friends was  all  james wished to be, he would take it in a heartbeat. just as long as he had him in his  life . because brendan realized  that’s  what had been missing - james. “ really ? ” he asked, staring at the smile on his ex’s face before blushing a little. it was a smile that was  brighter  than the sun and had the strength to light up an entire room on its own. “ it’s... taken me some  time  to get used to, but i’m there. i want to be a good dad for this baby -  my  baby. and i know i act like i’m an expert, but i have  no  idea what the fuck i’m doing or if i can be the best for this child. so, hearing that come from you makes me feel really good, ” he sighed, the touch against his arm sending  warmth  to his heart.

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brendan & skye.

Skye had only been walking through town with Roman in his stroller when she started to feel increasingly warm. Her heart felt like it was going to leap out of her chest. “S-sorry Roman. Mummy needs to…” She sat down on the bench with her hand on her chest to try and gauge her heart rate. Her forehead began beading with sweat and her breathing more rapid. “H-hel…” She caught eyes with someone walking past and her first thought was Roman.

    brendan  rushed  over to the girl, kneeling down in front of her as he assessed the situation. “ miss ? ” he asked, taking her wrist to feel her pulse. it was elevated and the hand pressed to her chest was  never  a good sign. " hey, hey. it’s alright. i’m a doctor and i’m here to help. just  breathe . in and out slowly, ” he grabbed his phone from his back pocket before calling 911. he explained the situation to dispatch and set the phone aside, keeping them on the line until they arrived. “ look at me, ” he stated calmly, not wanting to worry her any further. “ do you have  any  pain in your left arm ? ”

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brendan & james.

“What are you doing just standing here then? Show me!” James is more excited than he was when he first heard about the baby. Maybe it was out of jealous because, at this point in his life, he thought he’d have had a child of his son and been a father. It’s always been what he wanted. It took him a little while to process Brendan having one but he got over it. Realizing how could be angry at a child who had no say in the matter. Yet alone, a child at all. “Don’t make me ask twice. You know I can be a stubborn hardass!” 

     brendan had been avoiding pretty much  everyone  except for his patients. he was  terrified  over what happened with the vampire and was still trying to wrap his brain around it all. but james was a  constant  in his life that made him feel safe and he knew he could trust him without a doubt. “ here, ” he pulled the pictures from his pocket, passing them over to be looked at. “ so, what do you think ? ” he asked, smiling up at the man.