Personality Disorder Confessions

I think I yap a bit more than most confession blogs but that’s okay

[pdconfessions]

(Flag in pfp is by @/neopronouns)

Welcome to pdconfessions! I made this blog because I wanted a space for people to confess things that won’t shit on them for experiencing pd symptoms like the general public might. Confessions don’t have to be directly related to pds at all as long as you have one/suspect you might

Also, while this isn’t the primary focus of the blog, people with or without pds can ask questions about pds. I’ll try to answer the best that I can, and other people are free to chime in as well

Disclaimers: 1. I don’t automatically agree with every confession I post. 2. Sometimes I post asks in the order of newest to oldest, and sometimes I go the opposite way, I pinky promise I’m not ignoring your ask and I don’t think anything badly of you secretly. 3. I’m prone to going inactive for a little bit at random times, but I’ll be back!

Claimed sign offs:

-🧪

- 🌸🩵

-🔆

-🫐

~ 🎱💋

-🪰

-🎀🤍

- 💞💥

-🦷

— 🪽💫

-🐈

-☂️

-🧸🧷

-💿

- 🌻🕊️

-🐢

- 💢🍰

- 🌀

-❤️‍🩹🐈‍⬛

- ☀️🕯️

-🎧

• 🍸🐆

-🕰️

-🥀💫

-🦂

-♦️🍁

-⚧️

-🐁

- [ 🖥 🩷 ☠️ ]

-👑

-♠️

-🌌✨️

-🌙⛈️

-🌃⛓️

- ⚡

- god's favorite sacrifice

-🐤

- 🌺

- 💥💛

-🎠📼

- 🪦🥀

-🐱💘

-🌠

-⚡️

-The God King

-static

-💗🔪

-💥‼️

-🎩👁‍🗨

-💥💢💫

— 🌙🐾

🦋🐛 sys

-🎭

— 🌫️🌑

-🩹🧊

- 🍎🐛

Tagging people for reach is a thing I’ve seen people do sooo, tagging some of my favorite pd blogs

@aspd-culture @avpdcultureis @avpd-polls @borderline-culture-is @bpd-polls @dpdcultureis @hpdcultureis @hpd-poles @narcissisticpdcultureis @npd-polls @funnier-w-szpd @szpd-polls @schizoid-culture-is @schizotypal-culture-is @schizotypalpd-culture-is

[pdconfessions]

racist anon, you and everyone here in general should read marx and lenin

I agree

[pdconfessions]

idk if its avpd or stpd or smth else but i hate this feeling of everyone looking at me and judging me. can someone look at me and just let my mind not assume theyre out to get me. wtf is going on, logically i know most people CAN'T always be out to get me but man it feels like it

.

[pdconfessions]

As a person with NPD I never understood why people say the word "narc" is a slur. It's been used against narcissists derogatorily yes but it's just a short version of the word narcissist and people use that word equally as derogatorily against pwNPD so by that definition, wouldn't the word narcissist be a slur too? Not to mention the fact it has none of the historical impact actual slurs have since I have really only seen it used in the past few years compared to actual slurs which have decades to centuries of historical impact :^

I think they can be used as slurs, but that doesn’t mean the word itself is a slur. Personally, I’ve never seen anyone use narc in a positive way, besides people with NPD reclaiming it, but I don’t find it as offensive as the words you’d normally think of when thinking of slurs

[pdconfessions]

this whole "narc parent" scare is kinda goofy because, like

hello i'm the evil narcissist who's a parent to two rats

-🌻🕊️

.

[pdconfessions]

I'm going to be honest why do y'all care so much about if someone draws a cluster B personality disorder and represents them as a demon or similar "seen as bad" creature. As someone with all four cluster B disorders (medically recognized/diagnosed) and has been treated negatively by people because of my disorders, unless the person is purposefully trying to be malicious and/or push other bad stereotypes this is the last thing you should be worrying about when it comes to stigma in the community; ESPECIALLY if the person themselves has the disorder

.

[pdconfessions]

saw some dumbass in the pd tags talking shit about white people with certain personality disorders. we're not 'using our sensitivity' you ass. we're MENTALLY ILL. just because you're not white doesn't give you a right to be a dick to anyone. we suffer just as much you prick, you have no right to put down our experience

some poc are just as racist as anyone else, I'm tired of pretending otherwise. they want every white to kiss their ass. fuck off

I don’t even know what to say to this

I don’t know the exact context of the post, but you can’t be racist against White people 😭. Racism is a systemic issue. I genuinely cannot believe I’m explaining this on this account. Being a little mean to a White person will never in a million years be equivalent to the racism poc go through. Again, don’t know the context of the original post, so maybe it’s a bad take, but I think if someone is calling out a problem and your first response is to be this defensive, you should look inwards

[pdconfessions]

hi was that April's fools thing a joke or is this account abandoned or neither I can't tell

OH, that was a joke, don’t worry. I scheduled it to September because that was extra funny to me. I’m currently being avoidant but I’ll get to the asks eventually…

[pdconfessions]

April fools I actually don’t have any personality disorders

[pdconfessions]

This is what it’s like to have STPD

[pdconfessions]

I'm sick of trying to give a fuck about anyone other than myself. I know it's not good of me and all but I feel so bitter. I feel like others ultimately don't give a fuck about me so why should I care about them? They won't come to MY aid, they won't care about me when I feel like shit. So maybe I should stop giving them any attention as well. I'm getting so numb to other people's needs because mine weren't and aren't being met.

Sometimes we can’t care about others. Sometimes if we don’t get our needs met, we don’t have the energy to care about other people. It doesn’t make you bad

[pdconfessions]

i HATE when people have genuinely the most peakest takes in the world just turn out to be ‘empaths’ and narc abuse believers (ESPECIALLY when involved in current politics.), im so burnt on informing people. Atp im just bookmarking their posts after blocking them so i dont see any of their other shitty ableist takes besides the actually helpful and unrelated one.

btw the thing that will unite people to stand up against oppression ISNT ‘omg i understand you feel!’ Or ‘omg im so sorry that happened to you! 🥺’ its ‘Thats objectively/morally wrong and harms others for x, y and z.’ Literally all we need. That way you dont exclude disabled people who cant control if they dont feel compassion/empathy/sympathy etc

although i may be kinda wrong in phrasing., i have moral ocd so apologies if i said smth potentially incorrect abt the ‘morality’ part /gen

EXACTLY

[pdconfessions]

LAST EX ASK WHO CHEERED 🎉🎉🎉🎉

we say last because we broke no contact and our attachment to her is basically gone. we haven't felt this way in so long!

new sp has dropped and it's probably our current partner (our f/o) and WE DON'T HAVE HER AS ONE ANYMORE!!! maybe a sap (safe person) but THATS IT!! THATS THE END WE'RE FREEEE !!!!!

we aren't even in love with her anymore this is such a huge w for us.

— 💢🍰

YIPPEE!

[pdconfessions]

we send in too many sp things sorryy

so we've been trying to figure out wtf a narc high actually is? or what it feels like actually

mentally, we've been using it in a similar way to how our bpd splits feel (all or nothing), but we're not sure if thats how it actually works or what </3

sigh pd stuff is weird to identify

— 💢🍰

I don’t mind at all! Send in whatever you want!

Narc highs and crashes are a lot like bpd splitting, yeah. For me, if I get the right kind of validation, I feel like I’m the best person ever. But then if I’m not completely perfect at something, I’ll crash and think I’m the worst

[pdconfessions]

i hate hate fucking HATE having to deal with other peoples STUPID fucking crises all the time. i didnt ASK. I DONT CARE. I DONT CARE ANYMORE. GO AND ACTUALLY FUCKING DIE OR KILL YOURSELF FOR ALL I CARE I AM. SO. DONE.

i dont want all these details! i literally can do nothing about it! you dont even like me! not really!! i dont care that we were friends at some point, youve clearly proven to me that you dont give a fuck about me and will always villainize me no matter what i do SO WHY DO YOU KEEP TURNING TO ME. i hate faking that i still care about you. that i like you. that i care about ypur problems other than for entertainment or obligation. i am callous i am cold i am done i am so so so fucking done.

its always your problems over mine. always. not like you would notice. i just wanted a distraction. just want a fucking distraction on this miserable fucking anniversary just wanted to have plans with the one person that cares but no. no no no. gotta reschedule. just for you. FUCK you. choose any fucking other time to die OR AT LEAST DO IT QUIETLY. why the fuck is it that every time i try to die I AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO BE QUIET.

im not a good person. i know im all wrong. but i dont *care* right now.

I don’t think you sound like a bad person at all. It sounds like you’re giving everything to someone who doesn’t give you even basic decency in return, and you’re getting frustrated because of that

[pdconfessions]

silly one i have both bipolar and bpd and honestly i tend to read bpd as Bi.Polar.Disorder which i know damn well isnt right

.

[pdconfessions]

i literally have no idea if i have ocd or ocpd i dont 100% grasp the difference and in general im devastatingly unaware of my own personality so i cant tell if my obsessive-compulsive affects my personality or is separate

The difference, as I understand it, is that people with OCD have unwanted thoughts and do compulsions to try and soothe their distress about them, whereas people with OCPD have a need for control and feel anxiety without it. They have a sense of perfectionism that hurts rather than helps. It can often result from a childhood where someone was abused if they weren’t “perfect”.

Another difference is that OCD is egodystonic, and OCPD is egosyntonic. People with OCD may have intrusive thoughts they don’t agree with, while people with OCPD often think that their way of thinking is correct and aligns with their values.