I feel triggered more than ever, for the past couple of years l've worked on "perfecting" my mask. I know no one would ever tolerate or accept my anti social traits, people cannot process or accept that someone lacks empathy & regard for people, and for that reason l've masked most of my life.
Most things I do are performative, pretending to be like others just to fit in & to be viewed as a decent person, per say I used to have people in my life who I didn't need to pretend for but I burnt those bridges by my true nature & impulsivity and so I truly have no one now, I feel a strong sense of agitation and emptiness as the boredom consumes me whole.