I'm not one for posting much on here but I feel I need this space to reflect today. I'm going to schedule this post for next week so I've got the chance to spend a few days apart from it and come back to it. It's been a big day for me both in terms of my professional career development and my own personal development.
I applied, on a whim, for a band 5 assistant psychologist post, dream! However, assistant psychologist jobs may as well be the new Hunger Games (I even joked today it'd be better to fight to our death and hire that person). Finally, BAND 5; now that was never going to happen, was it?
Next thing I know, the job has been taken down after a few hours due to a high volume of applicants. THEN I get sent a questionnaire to fill out even though I've already told them my education, work experience, 1000 words on myself, given them my bank pin number and a sample of my blood (okay the last two are a lie). They now want me to answer 5 questions; describing this in 3 words, and that in 20 words. I really wondered what the point would even be as I wouldn't stand a chance, would I?
On a bad day, a good thing happened, an invite to interview. Not just an interview, an assessment day. I honestly was not phased because in all honestly, although it's the dream job, Manchester & me are not the best of friends; so I figured I'd attend and put it down as experience for the future.
We were told the day would consist of 1) a presentation 2) a short interview 3) a written test and 4) a longer interview for the top candidates. I imagined around 20 people would be invited and they'd have 3 kept for the long interviews. 60 people were sat in the room and I considered leaving because I believed I stood no chance but again, I rode it out. The "short" interview lived up to it's name. 4 minutes was all we had. I had 4 minutes to convince somebody it was worthwhile hearing more from me. And the question of "What leisure activities do you do in your free time?" phased me a bit. They didn't want me to relate theory to practice, recite statistics or tell them what I'd do in X, Y or Z situation. They wanted to hear about me, all be it in a way that related to work, but still!
After that, the dreaded test. I'd spent days wondering whether it would be a statistics test, a maths & English test, a test of writing out care plans and so on. It was a family tree and a case study and a whole host of trick questions designed to throw you off, but again, I rode it all out.
Off we went for lunch, came back at 12:30 for the moment of truth, the top 10 were about to be read out and the rest of us would be sent on our way to fill out yet more applications and wonder would the clinical psychology dream ever be a reality. Then I heard my name. My heart stopped. I could have genuinely burst into tears. These 2 people that had taken 4 minutes to get to know me and marked my test wanted to hear more from me!
For anybody who know me, I have terrible issues believing in my own abilities despite a lot of reassurance from a lot of people who know what they are talking about. This was a big thing for me. Alongside this, talking to other candidates and realising what incredible experiences I have had this far in my career, heading toward clinical psychology. I have realised today that this IS what I'm meant to be doing, and the dream I had when I was 15 can be a reality, it may take time but it can be done. We were told we were all suitable candidates for the position and in a position to apply for the doctorate which I will be doing this year regardless of whether I'm successful in this interview.
I was fourth in line for the long interview and then began to panic. I needn't have. I could answer every single one of the questions with confidence; interviewers smiling and nodding and me, scribbling away. Clinical psychology is tough, it's a long road with setbacks along the way but despite many people trying to deter me, I wanted to do this to help other people and I will do that come hell or high water! You have to be made of strong stuff, nobody said it would be easy, in fact they all said I would fail. However, I am pleased with how I have performed today, I am pleased with how much more I know than I thought, I am pleased with how confident and calm I've remained throughout the day, I am pleased with how organised I was with so many people making comments about that.
I am a better person than I was a year ago and I'm a much better person than I was 7 years ago. If these are the only things I take away from this assessment day I will be more than happy with that!
EDIT: GOT THE JOB, hello Manchester, hello dream job, hello doctorate application AHHHHH I LOVE LIFE
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