Saveur de la Patrie

[peaches1795]

Introductory post

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen of this hellsite, afterlife, or what-have-you.

I am General Jean-Charles Pichegru, former maths teacher at Brienne, and yes, I taught Bonaparte when he was there as a student.

I am also the Saviour of the Country - of France herself with my victories in the Armee du Nord and others.

I am currently on the market for a wife, so... if you know any young lady willing to throw in her lot with a man of my caliber, do not hesitate to.... well, you know..

You may find me at my estate in Belleville, near the quarry of Buttes-Chaumont - I find the city too... active for my liking.

I am also the former President of the council of 500, and a man of means.

Do NOT call me "Peaches" - that is an unfortunate moniker bestowed on me by one of my rivals!

[serpentofotranto]

Who do you think is the most unbearable between @peaches1795, @bonbonrobespierre, @tribunbabeuf, and @marquis-de-sade-official?

Hm. Considering most of these had the courtesy to die and leave me free of their annoying personalities, I will have to say Sade. He managed to be a nuisance even from the depths of his cell.

[peaches1795]

Ah, the courtesy to die? Why don't you ask Savary how I died? Or did you already know, and preferred to foist your dirty work off on someone else, let them take the blame? That DOES sound like you... Like you did at Lyon, with Barras - you two are slippery little bastards... like greased paper that not even shit would stick to.

Do tell me, speaking of shit, how you and the so-called "bishop" of Autun are getting along? I heard you two were an item.. and the idea of you two gleefully wallowing in your ill-gotten, blood-soaked gold is something that turns even my stomach.

As for the Marquis.... you deprive him of the very items with which he creates, and as a result, my copy of Justine remains unsigned! How DARE you!

[serpentofotranto]

Ah, you are here? For now at least...

[peaches1795]

No thanks to YOU or Savary - which one of you paid Leblanc and Joliclerc the 100,000 Francs to burst into my residence, beat me, bind me and bring me to prison without even letting me get DRESSED? I was NAKED for the love of God!

[serpentofotranto]

Then you should not be sleeping naked. In Pluviôse.

[marquis-de-sade-official]

The Despots of Tumblr do not notify me you scandalize my name! I am no nuisance; if no other option you are a nuisance to me. To keep a man in chains when his nature is to be free, what wicked abuses you conduct in the name of some false order! To what vice do you commit yourself, snake? —Pride comes to mind.

Do not fret @peaches1795; I shall lie naked with you.

[peaches1795]

And as I was regrettably silenced for a moment due to my muse deserting me, the cruel, unloving woman that she is! (oh damned is such a man as I, who lusts after that which he cannot possess nor have, for she exists in another plane... and her avatar, well, the less said about Madame Kleber the better! Cruel mistress, I would lie down and let her walk over me in stilettos if it meant an ounce of her attention... and a peek up her skirts...)

I would be visiting your place of repose, dear Marquis, and bring to you which you needs most - for your jailers to leave you without such means of expression is far crueler than being denied the pleasures of a woman's touch!