madonna of the unloved

[pearldiamond]

what song of the day

or dance with the moon

or age with my circling earth

will lastingly

be the one

where i belong

and belong to

i am still searching

to feel at home

i am still so far away

from where i started

[pearldiamond]

a blah and an ugh and a yuck and the deepest sigh of all sighs where you still catch no breath

suffocation, politely, basically

[pearldiamond]

i want my flesh

to be yours

yours forever

yours, for sure

[pearldiamond]

to Katy Song

[pearldiamond]

i often think of

before, then, previously

beginning, middle,

and the end

to feel the fall

of purity

to step off

the highest building

unafraid and bewitched

two floating cats

amongst skyscrapers

to Katy Song

so blind/so very clear

against all odds - against the world

lacking concern

if we’d ever make it

to heaven

because hell

was perfectly pleasant

side by side

laughing in our party of two

dancing in an underground flame

(itstartedtoburn/wesetourselvesonfire)

the stars weren’t truthfully aligned

Romeo didn’t fake his death

speaking in fairytales

didn’t impress you

there is a curious world

one of us had left to explore

“then + the end”

yet, i still dream of you

like it was the first time

but being stuck

in the middle

is what i am the greatest at

no heaven,

no hell,

but up in the air

and disputed

floating alone

to Katy Song

both a limbo winner

and a limbo loser

[pearldiamond]

existing, casually

and in nostalgia, always and always

and to the end, whatever that means

[pearldiamond]

Lolita

[pearldiamond]

you’re my everything, Lolita

[pearldiamond]

our relationship in a nutshell… 💕

[pearldiamond]

She gets so mad sometimes, sorry lovebug but ur so cute when ur sleepy

[pearldiamond]

every day has stung

but perhaps this is the morning

it stings the most

[pearldiamond]

hi. still in love. still alone. still me. living in berlin fashion is a timeless and unique one.

[pearldiamond]

As good as I could possibly imagine

my life getting… it did, after I met you

The way you reached inside my chest

and pulled out things

and sent them off in breaths blew

And as good as it got

with all the layers peeling off,

and though I writhed,

I could not upset you

With your hand down my throat

you held on to my heart

and pumped blood through

And then "it's time to go"

you said,

"it's time to go out, you little gray goose”

"Get out from under my wing"

you said,

"You swan, go on, go out, you're turned loose"

Oh so "it's over"

Oh so "we died"

Oh so your hand on my heart pumping blood went limp

And oh, I fly,

oh swan inside

[pearldiamond]

single Berlin 2020 was truly a vibe 💋

[pearldiamond]

I will never love again 🌹

[pearldiamond]

Berlin 2024

[pearldiamond]

I love being rotten, underrated, and gatekept in dis life. I love when someone realizes I’m the most rare human they could ever come across. I love that no matter what, I’m the truest shade of blue and I tell everyone “take it or leave it” and everyone always leaves it. And most of all, I love how alright I am with that <3