Alyssa watched as Pearl cut the lines of cocaine with ease. It looked like muscle memory, something she wasn’t even concentrating on, but Alyssa knew already that the blonde had more than enough experience with it. She hummed quietly to herself, wondering if mixing up Adderall and coke was a bad idea. The thought was fleeting, it didn’t matter now. She was here, and she wasn’t going to pass up an opportunity to get fucked up. Alyssa found her eyes traveling to the bruises on the girl’s neck, not liking the sight of them as her hand reaches up, absently touching her own neck and feeling the ghost of past bruises before Pearl distracted her by changing out the credit card for the dollar bill in her hand.
She watched her inhale a line, tilting her head curiously when she began to speak. Alyssa nodded, knowing what she meant. Anything to quiet the monsters, or turn them into something more bearable. She takes the bill and leans forward, inhaling her first line. The drip in the back of her throat was awful after the fact, but she sniffles a bit and dabs her nose, handing the bill back to Pearl before sitting down on the stool beside her. She listened as she spoke, wanting to interrupt, wanting to tell her not to think about the maybe of the situation. She was alive and that was what mattered.
Alyssa took a breath at her question. She knew all too well what it was like, and she hadn’t had any intention of sharing. But Pearl looked so soft and vulnerable right now that Alyssa found her mouth opening with words she never wanted to speak, no matter how vague. “I felt that way for about three years of my life,” she answers, voice soft as it usually was. She leaned forward, her hands cupping Pearl’s cheeks. “Here is my wisdom,” she starts, completely aware of how much of a pamphlet she was about to sound like, but it had been her thought process after Brett. “You’re alive. You’re breathing, even if you don’t feel it up here,” she says, lightly tapping Pearl’s temple. “You’re fucking alive. It’s gonna be shitty for awhile, and you won’t forget what happened, but as the days pass, the memory loses its hold on you, but only if you let it.”
Staring up into the burning neon lights, tears narrowly escaped Pearl’s Bambi eyes as the words washed over her, only to be scooped up with a tentative pawing motion. “Fuck me.” She whispered against the desperate pouring of emotion as a bid to play it down and cushion it somewhere deeper and darker, where it belonged. Now intent on soaking up another line of bright white powder, Pearl hovered back over the reflective surface and crafted another line so she could throw her head of messy blonde hair backwards and revel in the beautiful numb sensation hitting her insides like a relentless jack hammer. “You brighten my world.” Pearl smiled against the bitter after taste, opening her green eyes to focus on Alyssa while a glint of mischief played over her lips.
“Want to see something fun?” No intention to wait for the answer, Pearl encircled Alyssa’s wrist as she slid her fragile frame from the leather plush of the spiralling stool. Standing upright brought a blissful dizziness. The spinning blonde began to lead Alyssa through the painted magenta wonderland and towards the back passages of the club. Forgotten feathers floated against the freshly bleached flooring, clinging to the tears in Pearl’s jeans as she wandered towards a room with a golden star stuck to it like an ambitious play at Hollywood. “You can be anything here, you know? You’re a chameleon of lust and chaos.” Finally slacking on Alyssa’s thumping pulse point, Pearl opened the door as though exposing a forgotten Atlantis, revealing a back stage, dress up room.
“We could invite Wyatt, if he wouldn’t ask questions--...” Her voice purred against the vicious heartbeats pounding on her eardrums. Naturally, Pearl never waited long, she twirled across the zebra rugs covering the black tiles and tended to a rack displaying a variety of scantily clad outfits. “-- you know, put on a show.” She spoke with a childish aura, plucking an ensemble off the rail so she could hold it against herself and throw out an old starlet pose like she were modelling it. Now examining the piece at question, Pearl gestured to Alyssa with a Cheshire cat grin. “You should definitely try this shit on.” Like the idea was gold, Pearl ushered towards Alyssa while the white lightning lifted her where she needed to be. “Seriously.”
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