[pebbles-in-the-sunshine]

anytime a part fronts that hasn't in a couple of months i feel like I'm blasted into the stratosphere. like wow okay yeah this really is real i really have a system of people in the back of my head waiting for their turn... don't worry though I'll forget about it again in no time

[sapphling]

i think it was kind of a major failing to frame the self diagnosis issue around whether it's "valid" or not rather than the fact that unless an official diagnosis is necessary for you to access actually beneficial pharmaceuticals/treatment, accomodations or disability benefits, you should actively avoid on-paper diagnosis for your basic safety and access to care

[pebbles-in-the-sunshine]

anyone else get the unfortunate issue of dissociating any time you are researching things on trauma & dissociation? I've been trying to watch some videos by the ctad clinic and not only have i apparently watched some already that I absolutely do not remember, but anytime i click on a video I am zoned out through ninety percent of it

[unitedrussia-remade]

let’s talk about a ptsd thing that’s called sense of foreshortened future. i don’t see anyone ever talking about it here and i think that it’s important that people know that what they experience is nothing but another symptom of their mental illness.

So what is it?

Basically, sense of foreshortened future is a feeling or a belief that for some reason you won’t have a long and fullfilling life. You feel like you will die soon – or sooner than expected – and therefore you shouldn’t make any long-term plans. You try to avoid long-term relationships, you don’t have any career plans, reaching your birthday - hell, sometimes even managing to surivive the week surprises you. 

You feel like you’ll never have a normal life because you’re not only broken beyond repair but also can’t trust anyone anymore. It is an incredibly depressing feeling that makes you feel like there’s no point in… anything, really? Every activity becomes dull and pointless and you don’t know what drags you though life at this point.

I know it won;t make the feeling go away but I want you to know that this feeling is NOT a reflection of reality. You’re not broken beyond repair and you will have a normal happy life if you work on your recovery. making plans is not pointless. You deserve to be happy and you will be happy. Don’t let PTSD and its symptoms convince you otherwise.

[wheelie-sick]

people will say "gender is socially constructed even though the experience of gender is real" but then an antipsychiatrist says "mental illness is socially constructed even though the symptoms are real" and suddenly the same people are confused.

it's the same concept. these categories are made up and subjective. psychiatrists across the globe can't even agree on these things- there are multiple different books used to diagnose mental illness that define mental illness differently.

the experience of depression is real but the category "major depressive disorder" is a social construct.

[pebbles-in-the-sunshine]

anytime my mom shows me an ounce of parental care i feel like the sun is shining for the first time ever

[bodysitting]

my "i'm not plural but my headmates are" shirt is raising a lot of questions already answered by my shirt

[hazedxg0]

DID symptoms that people don't talk enough about

The cycle of forgetting and then re-remembering trauma memories

Constant depersonalization and derealization

Feeling as if you're stuck living someone else's life

Failure to plan for the future because nothing feels real + losing time

Thinking a flashback is over when you've actually just dissociated away from it, and having it resume as soon as you stop dissociating

Dissociative stupor/trance

Alexithymia

Identity issues outside of alters

Inability to connect with other people

Being unable to tell if you've healed from a past problem/trauma or if you've just dissociated away from it

Not learning from past mistakes because of amnesia and dissociation

Feeling nothing psychologically despite physical shaking, racing heart, nausea, crying, etc

The extreme disorientation + identity confusion that comes with co-consciousness and co-fronting

Somatic flashbacks

Being triggered by your own DID symptoms because you know the only reason you're experiencing any of this is because of what they did to you

[pro-recovery-kaito-vocaloid]

Maybe unpopular opinion but I kinda want any and all DID education to stop focusing on the rarity of things and start focusing on the mistreatment of us as trauma survivors...

[unstablemotions]

idk it kinda feels like this sometimes

[ocarquest]

sometimes it hits me that im going to have this dissociation disorder thing all the time no breaks forever and i freak out a little but then suddenly i can't care anymore. so I'm coping pretty well i think !

[pebbles-in-the-sunshine]

I'm growing pretty frustrated at a (in my country) well known DID influencer... they do a ton of interviews, books, etc and are fairly popular on social media. they even speak with politicians. which is all fantastic, don't get me wrong, they've brought a lot of attention to DID and the reality of child abuse, but they only speak on their own experiences and end up saying a lot of stuff that is inaccurate, and paints a wrong picture of DID/multiplicity.

recently i saw them reply to the question of whether DID can be healed or not by reprimanding the question and stating that it's irrelevant, and that the question should be on why this was done to them in the first place. they never talk about how to actually heal in any way shape or form. what system-work or therapy can actually do. it seems like its this incurable status that will never change or get better. they routinely talk about how they cannot process any trauma in therapy, that it's impossible to get there.

like i understand that this is where they are at in their healing journey, but to be honest I don't think they are in the best place to be educating millions of people about this disorder if they don't seem to have a grasp on it themselves. at this point it also feels like they don't want to share any more details about themselves (which is good!!) but also feel like they have to keep posting, and all of their content is empty words with no solutions or explanations, just buzzwords and anger

[pebbles-in-the-sunshine]

i often forget about my sexual trauma, so much so that any time i get triggered i am deeply confused, i don't know why, why this topic?? but it's because I have that trauma. the one i keep forgetting about. i mean i understand, my brain is literally wired to forget that this happened to me, but i still find myself doubting my reality whenever i realise that i've forgotten again(remembered again) (forgotten again)(again) (again)

[funeral]

Lynda Shirar, Dissociative Children

[pebbles-in-the-sunshine]

Lynda Shirar: Dissociative Children: Bridging the Inner and Outer Worlds

[text ID:

very mild. Donovan and McIntyre translate the animal data for humans:

"By virtue of the fact that infants , toddlers and children are literally dependent upon the care and goodwill of their caregivers for their very survival, the family itself can constitute an inescapable tempophysical space. ... because there is no genuine real-world escape for the child... The therapist who concludes that a child victim of family trauma was not exposed to inescapable shock because he or she cannot identify specific instances of gross invasion of bodily space or confinment abuse has failed to understand the experiential world of the child. ... [A]n abusive family is like an electrified cage: overwhelming hurt and no escape. But the parallel holds ... where there was no parental abuse. The dependency of childhood and the child's place within the family itself constitute the inescapability - even when there is no intentional proactive harm. Thus, children who are traumatized by experience which is unintended but still inescapable can be as affected as those who are hurt by the most cruel of abusers. (1990, pp. 63, 64)"

This is why even nonabused children often "feel abused" (Oaklander, 1988). Real dependency and the inequality of power between child and adult underlie every child's experience, even in the most loving of families. /endID]

[pebbles-in-the-sunshine]

i went to a trauma self help group for the first time in a million years today and it was really really good to talk to someone who just fucking gets it.

not just that, i feel like all the people i talk to there who have complex childhood trauma have some kind of experience of multiplicity. to varying degrees, it's not all DID, but the dissociation of parts is really a continuous spectrum. once again the strict distinctions between DID/OSDD & singlet make less and less sense to me

[pebbles-in-the-sunshine]

suuper crazy experience switching while drunk and suddenly being sober. switching back and drunk again. brains are so weird

[pebbles-in-the-sunshine]

i mean obviously i am not actually physically sober what i mean is that my eyes are now fully open, my posture is up, and the room has stopped spinning. im not so tired, things aren't that funny, i dont feel like i love the entire room. which is to be expected from the alter that's in charge of Being Awake and Doing Tasks when everyone else is too exhausted. but yes crazy how much of an impact that has on the feeling of being drunk