Mi abuelo, Gumercindo Erazo, muriĂł el 28 de mayo del 1965 en San Salvador. Mi papi solo tenĂa 21 años. El escribiĂł este poema Mi papá muriĂł durante la velaciĂłn. Varios años despues, un amigo grabĂł a mi papi recitando su poema. Aqui les comparto la grabaciĂłn.
My grandfather, Gumercindo Erazo, passed away on May 28, 1965 in San Salvador. My dad was 21 years old. He wrote this poem Mi papá murió while at his father’s wake. Here is a recording of him reciting the poem. Hit play up top to hear it.
This is an English translation:
A year ago I left the seminary. I have led a superficial, fun life filled with banners and lights like a bull at a bullfight.
My father died! When?
It seems like it was yesterday or the day before, I don’t know when.
For me now time passes without making a sound, while I am in my serene bitterness, like an ox rests in the shadows.
I am alone now, alone with him, in the midst of so many people that mumble and murmur as if they were afraid to pray. “Dear God, how lonely are the dead…”
Papa Chindo, do you hear me? It’s fine, don’t answer me.
You are fine just like this, don’t move.
Yes, I believe you, you aren’t dead.
Dad, what is life? What is death?
Why is it worth living, if we die precisely when we have lived the most?
Where do all the studies, money, loves, and sacrifices go?
Dad, do you think that it was worth it to be a good person even if you are taken advantage of, even if they forget about you?
Dad, I want to be good like you were, a man like you were,
A husband and father like you were, to die like you have died,
Tranquil, serene, with a tear in each eye, and a smile on your lips that did not die with you.
Papa Chindo, I want this which I have written,
To be like a fountain of running water where I can come and refresh my thirst,
When I feel tired from life, and when I find myself alone like a town’s cemetery.
You look serene, Dad.
I see everything else in an ambiguous fog:
Laughter, prayers, smoke from cigars, smoke from candles, the smoke of your life.
Cars that pass by outside,
People that pass by towards death with their stomachs full,
And their souls empty.
I am tired. Dad, what time is it? Sorry, Dad, I forgot that for you, time doesn’t exist anymore.
You are already in eternity, forever, with that God that never dies, nor will those who live in Him ever die, because He said: “He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood will not die but rather live on eternally.”
Lord, let this jolt that you have given me with the death of my father,
Serve to make me truly live life, your life, the life that you have shown me already, since you are life itself.
Lord, my soul will be very sorrowful even unto death,
But may thy will be done, not mine.
